# data[].attributes.headline
"'You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends'" (192). 

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"'You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends'" (192). 

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At the beginning of the novel, Didion shared this line she wrote after her husband's death. She continues to reiterate this line throughout her piece, explaining what it means to her as she continues her journey. John died at the dinner table of a heart attack, hence her idea of life changing in an instant. The constant repetition of this phrases portrays to readers that even though she may be alive without her husband, she is not truly living because she misses the life she used to have.

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"...an American couple apparently at home in the respite and in many ways alien tropic of Central Java, their faces open and strikingly luminous" (185). 

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"...an American couple apparently at home in the respite and in many ways alien tropic of Central Java, their faces open and strikingly luminous" (185). 

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Joan Didion describes different memories of her and her husband to her readers throughout the book. Within these stories, she provides imagery to help her readers picture each tiny detail about them. With words such as "alien" and "strikingly luminous", she creates a specific tone of wonder, allowing readers to understand the different ways her and her husband experienced the world. This translates into her audience connecting with the loss she feels currently because they are able to slightly understand how much she lost.

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"This should not be, in a doctor's office, an unforeseeable question. Yet I find myself in tears" (170). 

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"This should not be, in a doctor's office, an unforeseeable question. Yet I find myself in tears" (170). 

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During her time of trying to figure out the world without her husband, Didion became very analytical in order to not feel the crushing emotions she had. One can see her stages of healing. At first, she could not even think. But as her life progressed, her grief caused her to become fearful of everyday activities without her husband by her side. With the example of the doctors appointment, Didion shares how since she was unable to prepare herself, she is caught off guard. This makes readers sympathize with her and try to understand her inner fears.

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"I know why we keep the dead alive: we try to keep them alive in order to keep them with us. I also know that if we are to live ourselves there comes a point where we must relinquish the dead, let them go, keep them dead"  (225-226). 

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"I know why we keep the dead alive: we try to keep them alive in order to keep them with us. I also know that if we are to live ourselves there comes a point where we must relinquish the dead, let them go, keep them dead"  (225-226). 

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This passage is one of the concluding passages in the novel. Joan Didion writes about what she has learned. She discusses how at some point, each person needs to learn to move on from the dead, and simply celebrate their life instead of illogically try to bring it back. This can really be connected to the title- "The Year of Magical Thinking". Didion has gone through her year of magical thinking, her growth, in order to heal from the loss of her husband. Through the happy memories and hard times combined within the book, Didion portrays what loss can truly feel like, and how even though it takes time, one can eventually begin to heal.

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"We might expect to be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss" (188). 

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"We might expect to be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss" (188). 

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Prostrate (adjective): lying stretched out on the ground with one's face downward.

ex. When Michael discovered his wife had left him, he fell prostrate on his bed and cried into his pillows.

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"'Am I going to make it,' she asked then. I chose to believe that she was asking if she would make it to New York. 'Definitely,' I told her" (140). 

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"'Am I going to make it,' she asked then. I chose to believe that she was asking if she would make it to New York. 'Definitely,' I told her" (140). 

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As her daughter is fighting for her life on a flight back to a New York hospital, she begins to question her own strength. Didion shows her readers how she dealt with the situation by giving them her train of thought, and displaying how she "chose" to believe her daughter was simply talking about the plane ride. One can see that at this point, Didion has to force herself to have hope in the situation when every other aspect of her life is crumbling. However, this passage leaves readers wondering if this hope is merely the false hope that her daughter won't pass away which she is desperately clinging to.

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"'... in the far distance, black and then milky when the sun caught it, moving like a huge reticulated vertical snake'" (139). 

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"'... in the far distance, black and then milky when the sun caught it, moving like a huge reticulated vertical snake'" (139). 

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Reticulated (adjective): constructed, arranged, or marked like a net or network.

ex. Humans have reticulated veins in them, creating net pattern running throughout the body.

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"I have no memory of when she was moved but I think it was some days after that" (127). 

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"I have no memory of when she was moved but I think it was some days after that" (127). 

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Besides the struggle of losing her husband, Joan Didion is also going through the challenge of her daughter, Quintana, being in critical condition. She got the flu and was in a coma when her father passed away, which were two incredible burdens placed on Didion. She writes this phrase while talking about medical decisions she made for her daughter. She uses a casual tone, like many sections of the book, to demonstrate to her readers that she too is human. By using the first person throughout the entire novel, especially in diction like this, she relates to the same way her readers would think, talk, and feel, establishing a connection with them while simultaneously appealing to their emotions.

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"On the takeoff he held my hand until the plane began leveling. He always did. Where did that go?" (80-81)

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"On the takeoff he held my hand until the plane began leveling. He always did. Where did that go?" (80-81)

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Here, Didion introduces a warm and loving memory to her readers about her and her husband. She reminisces this briefly, and then she introduces a heart wrenching rhetorical question to readers. By sharing this small memory, Didion shows the little things she used to share with her husband, and how she still cannot believe these things are gone. With the question, she allows readers to contemplate the answer that he will never come back, and it helps them understand the pain she is going through, and the disbelief that she feels with the whole situation.

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¨Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailies of life¨

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¨Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailies of life¨

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Paroxysm (noun): a sudden attack or violent expression of a particular emotion or activity.

ex. The nervous girl had a sudden paroxysm before her presentation of in front of the entire school, and she could not stop shaking or crying.

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¨Wasn't that just about perfect,´... July 26, 2003. Four months and 29 days before she was admitted to the ICU at Beth Israel North. Five months and four days before her father died¨ (71). 

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¨Wasn't that just about perfect,´... July 26, 2003. Four months and 29 days before she was admitted to the ICU at Beth Israel North. Five months and four days before her father died¨ (71). 

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Didion includes the happy memory of her daughter, Quintana, getting married. This is a major contrast from the rest of the novel so farwhich is blanketed with grief. She includes this memory to put in perspective just how quickly her life changed forever. She often repeats throughout the novel that life changes in an instant. Here, she is showing just how true that statement is. The contrast of emotions between the phrases also gives readers a better idea of exactly how she is feeling with these horrible tragedies in her life.

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¨I wake and feel the fell of darkness, not day¨ (32). 

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¨I wake and feel the fell of darkness, not day¨ (32). 

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It is still days after the death of her husband, and Didion includes a sentence of her writing that she got down on paper. She is displaying to her readers just how broken she was. She presents her raw emotions, and it hooks onto readers, and one can feel for her sorrow. Providing this segment of her writing at the beginning of the book also gives a starting point for her. It is ground zero, and allows for growth that readers can witness as the novel goes by and shows her healing process, or rather her year of magical thinking.

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“My father was dead… Grief is different. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailies of life” (27).

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“My father was dead… Grief is different. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailies of life” (27).

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Joan Didion discusses the loss of her husband and the grief that comes with that hardship. She uses repetition of the word grief at the begging of each sentence to nail across the point of how intense it is. She adds how her parents are dead before then transitioning back to her husband, which shows that even though she has been through the struggle of loss before, every time it happens, it is a new, horrible experience.

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Due date 11/30 pgs 1-77
Due date 12/7: pgs 77-152
Due date 12/14: pgs 152-227

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I chose The Year Of Magical Thinking as my free read book because it connects to me as a person. I love to read books that tug at one’s heart strings. This book is all about something we all have to face: death. Joan Didion is discussing love, life, and loss in this book, and it appealed to my emotional side and my love for a good, meaningful read. I hope to be touched by this novel and have a greater appreciation for the people and relationships I have in my life.