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How can you be more empathetic towards others? Our quote makes you stop and think before you judge.

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Storytelling is an art that you can do at any age.

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Storytelling is an art that you can do at any age.

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Your choice

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Gray Matter

By Daryl Cameron, Michael Inzlicht and

Credit... Gérard DuBois

ONE death is a tragedy. One million is a statistic.

You've probably heard this saying before. It is thought to capture an unfortunate truth about empathy: While a single crying child or injured puppy tugs at our heartstrings, large numbers of suffering people, as in epidemics, earthquakes and genocides, do not inspire a comparable reaction.

Studies have repeatedly confirmed this. It's a troubling finding because, as recent research has demonstrated, many of us believe that if more lives are at stake, we will - and should - feel more empathy (i.e., vicariously share others' experiences) and do more to help.

Not only does empathy seem to fail when it is needed most, but it also appears to play favorites. Recent studies have shown that our empathy is dampened or constrained when it comes to people of different races, nationalities or creeds. These results suggest that empathy is a limited resource, like a fossil fuel, which we cannot extend indefinitely or to everyone.

What, then, is the relationship between empathy and morality? Traditionally, empathy has been seen as a force for moral good, motivating virtuous deeds. Yet a growing chorus of critics, inspired by findings like those above, depict empathy as a source of moral failure. In the words of the psychologist Paul Bloom, empathy is a "parochial, narrow-minded" emotion - one that "will have to yield to reason if humanity is to survive."

We disagree.

While we concede that the exercise of empathy is, in practice, often far too limited in scope, we dispute the idea that this shortcoming is inherent, a permanent flaw in the emotion itself. Inspired by a competing body of recent research, we believe that empathy is a choice that we make whether to extend ourselves to others. The "limits" to our empathy are merely apparent, and can change, sometimes drastically, depending on what we want to feel.

Two decades ago, the psychologist Daniel Batson and colleagues conducted a study that showed that if people expected their empathy to cost them significant money or time, they would avoid situations that they believed would trigger it. More recently, one of us, Daryl Cameron, along with the psychologist Keith Payne, conducted an experiment to see if similar motivational factors could explain why we seem more empathetic to single victims than to large numbers of them.

Participants in this study read about either one or eight child refugees from the Darfur region of Sudan. Half of the participants were led to expect that they would be asked to make a donation to the refugee or refugees, whereas the other half were not. When there was no financial cost involved in feeling empathy, people felt more empathy for the eight children than for the one child, reversing the usual bias. If insensitivity to mass suffering stemmed from an intrinsic limit to empathy, such financial factors shouldn't have made a difference.

Likewise, in another recent study, the psychologists Karina Schumann, Jamil Zaki and Carol S. Dweck found that when people learned that empathy was a skill that could be improved - as opposed to a fixed personality trait - they engaged in more effort to experience empathy for racial groups other than their own. Empathy for people unlike us can be expanded, it seems, just by modifying our views about empathy.

Some kinds of people seem generally less likely to feel empathy for others - for instance, powerful people. An experiment conducted by one of us, Michael Inzlicht, along with the researchers Jeremy Hogeveen and Sukhvinder Obhi, found that even people temporarily assigned to high-power roles showed brain activity consistent with lower empathy.

But such experimental manipulations surely cannot change a person's underlying empathic capacity; something else must be to blame. And other research suggests that the blame lies with a simple change in motivation: People with a higher sense of power exhibit less empathy because they have less incentive to interact with others.

Even those suffering from so-called empathy deficit disorders like psychopathy and narcissism appear to be capable of empathy when they want to feel it. Research conducted by one of us, William A. Cunningham, along with the psychologist Nathan Arbuckle, found that when dividing money between themselves and others, people with psychopathic tendencies were more charitable when they believed that the others were part of their in-group. Psychopaths and narcissists are able to feel empathy; it's just that they don't typically want to.

Arguments against empathy rely on an outdated view of emotion as a capricious beast that needs to yield to sober reason. Yes, there are many situations in which empathy appears to be limited in its scope, but this is not a deficiency in the emotion itself. In our view, empathy is only as limited as we choose it to be.

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Gray Matter By Daryl Cameron, Michael Inzlicht and ONE death is a tragedy. One million is a statistic. You've probably heard this saying before. It is thought to capture an unfortunate truth about empathy: While a single crying child or injured puppy tugs at our heartstrings, large numbers of suffering people, as in epidemics, earthquakes and genocides, do not inspire a comparable reaction.

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If I had...

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con·​nec·​tion | \ kə-ˈnek-shən \

a : causal or logical relation or sequence the connection between two ideas

b(1) : contextual relation or association In this connection the word has a different meaning.

(2) : relationship in fact wanted in connection with a robbery

c : a relation of personal intimacy (as of family ties) Family connections can make getting a job much easier.

d : coherence, continuity … a confused multitude without order or connection.— John Locke

2 a : something that connects : link a loose connection in the wiring

b : a means of communication or transport a telephone connection

3 : a person connected with another especially by marriage, kinship, or common interest has powerful connections

4 : a political, social, professional, or commercial relationship The school has no connection with the museum. : such as

b : an arrangement to execute orders or advance interests of another a firm's foreign connections

c : a source of contraband (such as illegal drugs)

5 : a set of persons associated together: such as

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the act of connecting : the state of being connected: such as; causal or logical relation or sequence; contextual relation or association... See the full definition

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Appreciate the connection called friendship

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Appreciate the connection called friendship

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How do you make connections with others?

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How do you make connections with others?

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"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

I don't care what your goals, industry or interests are, there's no getting around it: Personal relationships run the world. But why is it that some people seem to build instant rapport with most anyone they come across, while others are left with a network of one?

Over the past few years, I've conducted a study of exactly what sets these people apart. Turns out, the results are more simple, and more powerful, than you'd think. And they led me to interactions and connections with world-class CEOs, best-selling authors, professional athletes and other seemingly untouchable folks, including Tony Robbins and Warren Buffett.

Regardless of status or fame, people are people. And the 7 pillars of making a connection with another person are always the same -- whether applied to your next-door neighbor, one of the world's biggest celebrities or even the cute girl sitting at the bar:

1. Be genuine. The only connections that work will be the ones that you truly care about; the world will see through anything short of that. If you don't have a genuine interest in the person with whom you're trying to connect, then stop trying.

2. Provide massive help. Even the biggest and most powerful people in the world have something they'd like help with. Too many people never reach out to those above them due to the fear that they wouldn't be able to offer anything in return. But you have more to offer than you realize: write an article or blog post about them, share their project with your community, offer to spread their message through a video interview with them. Give real thought to who you could connect them with to benefit their goals. If it turns out you can't be that helpful, the gesture alone will stand out.

3. Pay ridiculous attention. It's nearly impossible to genuinely offer help if you don't pay attention -- I mean real attention, not just to what business they started or what sport they like! Do your research by reading blog posts, books and articles about the connection beforehand. Learn about their backgrounds and passions. Invest genuine time in learning what really matters to them and how you can help.

4. Connect with people close to them. Most job openings are filled through networking and referrals, and making connections is no different. You automatically arrive with credibility when referred to someone you want to meet by a mutual friend. For example, I recently wanted to meet a best-selling author, and it turned out we had the same personal trainer. In reality, that fact means nothing, but in the world of social dynamics, it's gold! Spend more time connecting with your current network of friends and colleagues and see where it leads.

5. Persistence wins most battles. If you can't get a direct referral, simply click send on that email or leave a message after the beep. But do not stop there, as most the world tends to. The first attempt is just the very beginning. Realize that the first try may get you nowhere, but the fifth or the tenth tries are the ones that start to yield results. An unreturned email or voicemail doesn't mean they don't want to connect with you. It's your job to be persistent! I sometimes get hundreds of requests in a day from readers who want to connect, but only about 2 percent ever follow up. Don't be in a hurry, but don't be invisible either.

6. Make real friends. Think about how you've made the friends you have. That's all this is. You only make friends with people you genuinely want in your life. The same rule should go for bigger-name connections. Don't over-think it. Be human, be helpful and most humans will happily be human in return, regardless of who they are.

7. Remain unforgettable. All of the above are simple -- yet sadly underused -- ways of standing out. Send birthday cards. Mail your favorite book with a signed personal note from you on the inside flap. Send them your family Christmas card. Be genuinely helpful. You'd be surprised how the simplest things actually never get done. Being memorable isn't as hard as some think!

It all comes back to helping others. If you spent 100 percent of your waking hours thinking about how you can help absolutely everyone you come in contact with -- from the woman who makes your latte, to the top authority in your industry -- you will find everything else tends to take care of itself. The world will suddenly be in your corner.
Scott Dinsmore is the founder of Live Your Legend, a coaching and digital product company helping people build a career around work they love. He's also a Managing Partner at Cumbre Capital, a value investment partnership modeled after the Buffett Partnerships of the 50's and 60's. Scott loves a good adventure. The Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC) is an invite-only nonprofit organization comprised of the world's most promising young entrepreneurs. The YEC leads #FixYoungAmerica, a solutions-based movement that aims to end youth unemployment and put young Americans back to work.
Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC) is an invitation-only, fee-based organization comprised of the world's most successful entrepreneurs 40 and younger. YEC members represent nearly every industry, generate billions of dollars in revenue each year and have created tens of thous...

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The 7 Pillars of Connecting With Absolutely Anyone

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"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People I don't care what your goals, industry or interests are, there's no getting around it: Personal relationships run the world.

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We can even connect to others around the world

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We can even connect to others around the world

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Connections destroy barriers

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a teller of stories: such as; a relater of anecdotes; a reciter of tales (as in a children's library)... See the full definition

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The science behind why you like storytelling.

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The science behind why you like storytelling.

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It is quiet and dark. The theater is hushed. James Bond skirts along the edge of a building as his enemy takes aim. Here in the audience, heart rates increase and palms sweat. I know this to be true because instead of enjoying the movie myself, I am measuring the brain activity of a dozen viewers. For me, excitement has a different source: I am watching an amazing neural ballet in which a story line changes the activity of people's brains.

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Studying the neuroscience of compelling communication.

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The many methods

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Melissa Mendoza | published May. 1st, 2015

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It is in our nature to tell stories and inform others of our life events. Storytelling, whether factual or fictional, is an intrinsic human characteristic. However, the way we communicate with others has changed drastically over time. Storytelling originated with visual stories, such as cave drawing…

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Storytellers can even tell the story of their life

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Storytellers can even tell the story of their life

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Who can be a storyteller? Storytelling is for everyone 

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Who can be a storyteller? Storytelling is for everyone 