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Marcol Rodriguez - Cultivating the Cultivators

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Marcol Rodriguez - Cultivating the Cultivators

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I had dreamed of the day I would become a teacher; I was practically born for it. My first teaching  job was right in my living room; I was about 10 years old, my niece Franchesca was probably in first grade. Day after day I spent my afternoons sitting at the plastic kiddie  table in the middle of the noise of 🤬 Rey balcony of our second story apartment. 🤬 Rey,  one of the most named slums named in songs, and not for any good reason. I was my niece’s personal tutor, the one who taught her how to read before her classmates even knew their vowels. Becoming a teacher has been part of my destiny.

I always thought that I would feel the most fulfilled by sitting in front of young minds every day. My assumptions were correct; I have loved every single moment of appreciation, struggle, growth, and discomfort within my career. Yet, there is something I have discovered that I love more; that is teaching adults. Helping cultivate the minds of the cultivators of our next generations brings me a sense of comfort. Knowing that the seed I plant will blossom and multiply exponentially is what drives me to pursue a career as an educational coach.

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My mom hails from St.Lucia. A beautiful island that holds my heart. Where the food is bright and colorful, the people’s tongues curl with the Creole language and mangoes fall from the trees. She lived there for many years of her life before coming to America and meeting my dad who reps Queens as his home.

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It's easy to make excuses on why you aren’t at a certain place in your life or why you are stuck in a certain situation, but from what I have learned in life so far is that there will be many obstacles but it is up to us to find the correct response to that situation. I feel that this leads me to my second most important value: accountability. There are certain days when I want to be lazy, but I know that this summer needs to be put to proper use. Yes it is important to take self care days, but when self care days are everyday, the label ‘self care’ becomes a direct translation to procrastination. It is important that I do not lose sight of the end goal and do not make all my hard work over the years go to waste. My motto is that everyday is an opportunity to be better than I was the previous day. I also tell myself that God did not create me to be average. By drilling these sayings into my head, I ensure that I am holding myself accountable. 

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It's easy to make excuses on why you aren’t at a certain place in your life or why you are stuck in a certain situation, but from what I have learned in life so far is that there will be many obstacles but it is up to us to find the correct response to that situation. I feel that this leads me to my second most important value: accountability. There are certain days when I want to be lazy, but I know that this summer needs to be put to proper use. Yes it is important to take self care days, but when self care days are everyday, the label ‘self care’ becomes a direct translation to procrastination. It is important that I do not lose sight of the end goal and do not make all my hard work over the years go to waste. My motto is that everyday is an opportunity to be better than I was the previous day. I also tell myself that God did not create me to be average. By drilling these sayings into my head, I ensure that I am holding myself accountable. 

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But I didn’t mind the snow, they were just pretty accessories added to my hair. As the snowflakes soaked into my hat and my tangled long hair, I continue to enjoy my view ahead. It’s funny how you can be out in the coldest area but still feel some sort of warmth inside. I don’t know what it is with winter, but it really puts you in a deep thought; it’s getting close to the end of the year, so I guess it’s common for people to feel nostalgic during these times...

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In the morning, I would get ready way too quickly and the clock wouldn’t run fast enough. On my walk to school I would shake and sweat, talking to myself as if I was about to enter a war zone. It was one in some aspects. I hated the first days of school. I still do, but for different reasons. I no longer stay up all night or wonder about what the people there will think of me. In fact, I sleep like a baby.

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This time I took notes of my errors as a little part of me still yearned to have the last laugh. I learned I got the question wrong because I didn't roll my r when I said perro, so I reluctantly practiced my enunciation, but the war wasn't over yet. Throughout this process, I strayed from the Spanish course to others like Italian, French, and Korean. It took me a while to not be annoyed by the loud error sound, but once I overcame the discomfort that came with being wrong, I exposed myself to a new world. For example, as I explored other parts of the app, I also began to investigate parts of Latinx culture: learning how different countries could be so distinct despite speaking the same language. One that stuck out to me was Carnaval in Ecuador. At first, I based it off of my one experience where I ended up soaked from the onslaught of water balloon fights; however, the significance behind it is to prepare for Lent, a period to remember Jesus, as it's a predominantly Catholic country. At first, I felt ashamed of not knowing a part of the culture I grew up in, but I then reminded myself it was just a part of the learning process, like perro.

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The elevators are messed up, so I enter the eerie staircase that many avoid to take. A guy that I am familiar with seems to have his white t-shirt absorbed in with his skin which becomes pale and translucent. His head looks like it has grown in size, and his hair disappears as his eyes widen and blacken. My beating heart and my echoed footsteps seem to not bother him. When I look back to see if the man who’s in a collision with his addiction is ok, I see he fell to the next floor. He appears to be asleep--his breathing’s regular and his head is tipped to one side of his body.

My sneakers began to slap each step really hard as I rushed downstairs to ask for help.

“He’s strung out”, I say.

“Again! He has to go” said the front desk lady.

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The phone vibrated against the bed, buzzing and making its presence known. “Yo a package just came. Go downstairs and check if it's the sneakers,” my brother told me over the phone.“Ight, you know what sneakers they are?” I asked, being curious, with this smile forming on my face.“I dunno beefhead, that’s why I’m saying go check.”“Ight man,” I said, sucking my teeth in annoyance with the response, my smile fading for a second but manifesting once again over the thought of the possibility of my sneakers finally coming, pressing the red button with the symbol of a white phone lying down, silencing his voice. sI searched for my nike sandals, putting them on and rushing to the door. My body made its way downstairs, and my eyes wandered and glued to something; two boxes wrapped that said “Nike.”I picked them up and made my way back up to my apartment. I rushed to go, but my moms insisted that I disinfect the boxes, stating they might have covid. I listened and polluted the wrapping paper with alcohol, gripping the trapo and cleaning it as if the wrap itself was a diamond. 

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The phone vibrated against the bed, buzzing and making its presence known. “Yo a package just came. Go downstairs and check if it's the sneakers,” my brother told me over the phone.“Ight, you know what sneakers they are?” I asked, being curious, with this smile forming on my face.“I dunno beefhead, that’s why I’m saying go check.”“Ight man,” I said, sucking my teeth in annoyance with the response, my smile fading for a second but manifesting once again over the thought of the possibility of my sneakers finally coming, pressing the red button with the symbol of a white phone lying down, silencing his voice. sI searched for my nike sandals, putting them on and rushing to the door. My body made its way downstairs, and my eyes wandered and glued to something; two boxes wrapped that said “Nike.”I picked them up and made my way back up to my apartment. I rushed to go, but my moms insisted that I disinfect the boxes, stating they might have covid. I listened and polluted the wrapping paper with alcohol, gripping the trapo and cleaning it as if the wrap itself was a diamond. 

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With poetry as an outlet, my aspiration along with my self-confidence grew.  You see back in middle school,  I wasn't one of the popular kids nor was I one of the quiet ones;  I was labeled as creepy and at one point even a freak,  so when  two aspiring dancers “AYO & TEO” we're blowing up the internet, I decided to join the wave and began my own commitment to dancing as self-expression.  Declaring to  those around me including myself that I won't be limited to titles,  beliefs,  or rumors.  I'll accept who I am, good and bad, for I want to be,  who I can be, and when the time comes who I must be, solely be my choice alone (along with God’s help).

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Currently, even though these discussions might be uncomfortable, politics affects our lives in many ways. My knowledge has expanded so much more on global issues and toxic things in my daily life. The pandemic has affected in other ways too, not only mentally, but it wasn’t to the point that I was reduced to being helpless or had a major change in my family. I am thankful that I haven’t experienced the worst from the pandemic but me growing mentally has always made me analyze or think about the families and people who are negatively affected from the pandemic.

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Currently, even though these discussions might be uncomfortable, politics affects our lives in many ways. My knowledge has expanded so much more on global issues and toxic things in my daily life. The pandemic has affected in other ways too, not only mentally, but it wasn’t to the point that I was reduced to being helpless or had a major change in my family. I am thankful that I haven’t experienced the worst from the pandemic but me growing mentally has always made me analyze or think about the families and people who are negatively affected from the pandemic.

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Pulsera

“Mira! Un regalo por todos los recuerdos que compraste!” (look! a gift for all the souvenirs you bought!) said the store manager of a souvenir shop in Colombia. It was one of the last days I spent in Colombia during my summer vacation. The gift he gave me was a thin yarn bracelet, it was the colors of the Colombian flag: red, blue, and yellow. At first, it as a typical bracelet and I was sort of disappointed by the design. But over the course of those few days, I realized the significance of my new accessory: it represented my identity.

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When he wasn’t an option, my individuality and independence brought me to the internet, looking up new opening attacks, and how to improve my middle game. I saw myself ending up on chess book websites, trying to buy a book from a spam page within the bowels of the internet. The feeling that overcame me every time I sat for a professional match, filled my body like millions of butterflies fluttering their wings within.

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For just a second, I felt as though the world had stopped with me, time didn’t matter, I was able to breathe and ease my mind. I reflected on the opportunity that had opened as a result of all those days I commuted on the train for two hours from the tennis courts to my house, the late nights I stayed up exhausted fighting my sleep doing my homework late because I’d arrive from practice once no trace of the sun was visible, the twenty minute walks from the train station to my house at 8pm when I could no longer bear to see my own reflection on the car windows. Everything I’d undergone to be able to play one single match and show my true potential, demonstrate that my gender did not define my skills, but rather those tireless afternoons, early saturday and sunday morning practices. I knew I owed this to myself.

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Michael                                            I don't understand how hard it is to put a covering over your face for 1hr before going back home, i even saw someone on Youtube with this exact title “Putting On 10 Masks & Running 1 Km In 100°F Heat, After Smoking, To Prove Masks Can't Suffocate You” and yet people still complain .But at this point I shouldn't care because I still know I'm wearing my mask and the majority of NYC is still wearing it its only the small few. I'm wearing a mask when going out are you?

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Michael                                            I don't understand how hard it is to put a covering over your face for 1hr before going back home, i even saw someone on Youtube with this exact title “Putting On 10 Masks & Running 1 Km In 100°F Heat, After Smoking, To Prove Masks Can't Suffocate You” and yet people still complain .But at this point I shouldn't care because I still know I'm wearing my mask and the majority of NYC is still wearing it its only the small few. I'm wearing a mask when going out are you?

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“Tu papa dice que hay un lugar por el bronx “

My siblings and I looked at each other, making sure that what my mom was telling us was true .

I turned around and looked at the room we were all sharing this time. I was exhausted , losing parts of my life in each home. I was a puzzle that kept being broken apart when all I was missing was one more piece to be complete . I nodded my head ready for a change one more time. I grabbed my keys and made my way downstairs to see the van again . The one that took us far away . “You ready ?” I said to myself, “I'm ready .'' I  ran upstairs , opened the door and saw the name I printed when I first moved in here . “mariana -2013”.  My throat burned like fire was being swallowed , and my eyes introduced me to the ocean waters. Who was I? I spouted from a seed to early without being watered nor planted . Who was I ?

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The Covid-19 breakout has had a relatively minor impact on both the lives of myself and my family; however, now that the world’s changed and we aren’t supposed to go outside as often, I’m finding myself a tad more stressed than usual. What to do, what to do? All this freetime and it’s just flying by, pressuring me to do something about it. It was then— at the middle of the night, really early morning around 3 a.m, that I managed to peel myself off of the bed. I was further possessed to grab my phone and an exercise mat before putting on my shoes and trudging up the stairs to the roof. As if I’d done it a million times before, I set the mat down and got started on the routine. 45 minutes of yoga. Relax. 45 minutes of pilates. Bliss. There was no virus up here, there was no panic up here. Just an easygoing refrain of peace. In between exercises I could stop to look around at the sky as it grew bluer and bluer. I could see the city lights from here. In the sudden pandemic that's caused so many to stay home for stressful amounts of time I’ve found a highly enjoyable way to relax at the end of the day, or just before it begins.

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I feel like Covid has caused me to lose drive. Before Corona I was living(for me) a productive lifestyle: going to the gym 3-4 times a week, to school, Seo, and I was going to sleep early. I had some drive and I loved it. I never wanted to be home because home is too comfortable: there is nothing wrong with being in comfort but comfort is the downfall for people.

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Week One: the shift to remote learning was stressful. I was confused and found it difficult to manage. I grew to become easily irritated and negative thoughts clouded my mind. Everything I had planned, ruined. I was planning on going out more with others, I was going to go on a college trip. Everything, ruined. All in all, I lost motivation. Throughout remote learning, I’ve tried my best to stay motivated, but it wasn’t enough. I began to lose motivation because of the lack of productivity on my part and the lack of social interaction. I sank down to the bottom of a deep well.But I learned to climb from that well.

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Week One: the shift to remote learning was stressful. I was confused and found it difficult to manage. I grew to become easily irritated and negative thoughts clouded my mind. Everything I had planned, ruined. I was planning on going out more with others, I was going to go on a college trip. Everything, ruined. All in all, I lost motivation. Throughout remote learning, I’ve tried my best to stay motivated, but it wasn’t enough. I began to lose motivation because of the lack of productivity on my part and the lack of social interaction. I sank down to the bottom of a deep well.But I learned to climb from that well.