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I am Aden. I am a human being living in Seattle Washington. I am, objectively speaking, a 16-year-old, able bodied, trans man, in a white American Greek family, and a student at a well-known school. I see myself as a young Greek guy, and an artist or a creative. The “trans” aspect of my gender is easily forgotten when it’s not actively relevant, so usually when I’m alone and focused on something other than myself, or if I’m with my very close friends who always make me feel comfortable. The people around me don’t do that. To the people around me I’m just a small kid, trans or maybe just effeminate, somehow even sometimes they think I’m female, (which I think is a stretch further than if they had gotten it correct, though maybe I’m just biased) depending on our relationship. Sometimes even those close to me mess up, or still think of me a certain way, it’s not their fault and I don’t blame them, though I must admit it’s a strange feeling. To those people around me, I’m just white too. My pale Seattle skin hiding my father’s ancestry, that got hidden from him as well. I’m also an introvert, which in my case means it’s really difficult for me to talk to people or even just be around them, (this recording even, has my heart pounding) in any case, this fear means that a lot of what people see of me is either forced or non-existent, not really an accurate representation. Back a few years ago especially, I was so far removed from being social that if you asked anyone I knew at the time they’d tell you I was an “aggressive weird kid that was trying too hard to be cool,” Which, in their defense, were all completely true things. I was trying so hard to seem like I didn’t need to or want to interact with anyone that it became something to lash out with. Those years made me reflect on who I wanted to be in life, and since then I’ve tried as hard as I can to be the “nicest person in the room” which doesn’t always work, but it’s better than being the meanest. I don’t think I’m different for this, I think almost everybody wants to be seen as nice and awesome for everything, that’s the whole point of the ego, but if I had to set myself apart I’d say in my case it’s less so they like me and more so I like me.

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I’ve never been big on parading around things, whether they’re mine or someone else who asked it of me. I always tried to stay low key with stuff, especially communities I’m a part of, some being especially… volatile? The artist community I’ve been a part of for years now has always been known for being pretentious or aggressive towards each other, passively or directly. Because of that kind of, stigma or bad behavior that I disapprove of personally, I’m reluctant to tell people I’m an “Artist” so much as I “draw in my spare time and do commissions on occasion. This may seem counter intuitive to some parts of this project where I’ve talked about being an artist, but that has been a sort of realization recently, separating the identity from the community, and not basing the whole fear of it on a few bad people within. Another community I’ve been a part of is very different: I’ve been doing karate for a little over five years now, and I just got my black belt over the summer, my father did too at the same time. He works at the karate studio, and I help out occasionally (I’m hoping to get a job there soon, in fact I’m going in to help after school every few days). Most of the students in every class know me, and the other school leaders too, at the different locations of our studio. My whole family is very ingrained in that culture. We are a proud bunch, my family. If you sign up for something you have to really commit to it, we give it our all, hence why my father and I are now black belts. We proudly wear our yearly sweatshirts and tee-shirts from class as part of a regular wardrobe. My clothes consist largely of karate branding and Hawaiian tee-shirts, which, believe it or not, is an expression of my community as well. It’s honestly kind of a joke of one, but the fact that I wear them nearly every day lends some credit. My identity as Bi-romantic is what’s expressed in that. Weird, I know, but in the bi community, Hawaiian shirts are a staple, and this is my little way of having subtle pride, without being over the top or outright just wearing pride clothing. As an artist, (on a similar vein to what I spoke on before), I draw myself often; little doodles here and there to express whatever small thought I’m having. This literal representation of me is often a chubby boy with big grey eyes and a bright hoodie, no confusion about gender, and better hair than I’ll ever have. While it’s not exactly accurate, it fits here, as a representation of myself where I exaggerate aspects of myself that I want to share to the internet. This little creature is in some way or another, everything that I want people to see of me. [pictured above]

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I have no clue who I’m going to be and I’m not entirely sure that I want to. I want to be ready for my life to be completely unexpected, because the truth is it will be. Life is a completely random set of events and you can either worry about them forever, hoping for an impossible outcome, or worrying about the ones you can’t stop, or you can live your life in the moment, and appreciate every slow beat or important decision to make. Now of course I’m not saying don’t plan for the future, that will lead to no life to live, what I mean by this is to enjoy your life, and the “person” I will become is dependent on my mindset about life, not the choices I make to get there, that would be the circumstances of my living, but not me. I’d rather be poor and happy than rich and sad. Whatever happens in my life, whether I pursue a career in art or in science, or maybe in something completely different, I will give it my all, and I’ll create something out of it. Without question, I’m going to start testosterone and try for the other gender affirmation medicalizations, nothing will sway my mind on that. I am going to become somebody. Somebody that is capable of interacting with other human beings. Somebody that is comfortable in his own skin. Somebody that can give advice to others with certainty, or at least good intention, and try to help them. I don’t know who that somebody is yet, but I will strive to be them as best I can. Where I’m living, where I’m working, achievements and attachments and all that, they don’t matter as long as I’m happy. If they make me happy, so be it, I’ll pursue that thread, but if they don’t, I see no reason. With many things, I believe that mentality, that something like marriage should only be pursued if one and or their partner want it, not as a necessity or a validation for their love. The same goes for my gender affirming medicalizations that I’m dead set on. I look forward to them not because I am trans and that is a logical step, as some people think, but because they give me happiness to even think about, so I am excited to see that joy realized, and I don’t care how long I have to wait to get there. That is who I will become: somebody who is happy with the choices I made, because I made them to be that way.

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Welcome to Aden's Identity Padlet. In my American Literature Class, our first unit of study is identity and we have been reflecting on our own identity and creating elements for our own Identity Portfolio. Over the past 5 weeks, we have explored different parts of who we are. In this Padlet you will find my responses to 3 questions: Who am I? Who or what do I represent? and Who will I become