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The first stage of Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory is trust versus mistrust. This stage begins at birth and continues through a person’s life until one year of age. This is considered the most important stage in a person’s life because it begins to develop one’s personality and his or her view of the world. “A healthy outcome during infancy, Erikson believed, depends on the quality of caregiving:  relieving discomfort promptly and sensitively, holding the infant gently, waiting patiently until the baby has had enough milk, and weaning when the infant shows less interest in breast or bottle” (Berk 172). These interactions are crucial for a baby to develop trust and feel safe within the world. Through trust, children’s social and emotional development take shape and influence the rest of one’s life.

As a baby, I spent three weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit because I was seven weeks early. My needs were met promptly by both the nurses, staff, and of course my parents. Because of this attention, my mother said that I was a very good baby. I didn’t fuss a lot, but when I did something, my needs were met. Based on what my parents said, I believe I developed a feeling of trust during this time period.

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Erikson’s stage is autonomy versus shame and doubt. This stage begins around one year old and lasts until a child is around age 3. “The conflict of autonomy versus shame and doubt is resolved favorably when parents provide young children with suitable guidance and reasonable choices” (Berk 173). As children enter this stage, they begin to develop a sense of independence and confidence in their own abilities. During this stage, children want better control over their clothing, food, and toy choices. Potty-training is another important event during this stage as children begin to seek to better control their own bodies as well. Those that feel forced or shamed during this stage could possibly lead to adjustment problems in the future.

Based on the stories my parents have told me, I struggled with certain aspects of life during this time period. By nine months, my mother felt something was wrong and by age three, I was diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum. I didn’t make a lot of eye contact; I didn’t babble like most babies, and I did not really begin speaking until age 3-4. My parents put me in a lot of therapy sessions to help in any way possible. They learned basic signs to communicate with me, and they found activities for me to do to help encourage development. One of the areas I battled was potty-training. My parents showed me videos, played songs, read books, and even tried rewards to help encourage me to use the toilet, but I didn’t consistently use it until I was into elementary school. To this day, I am not sure why I struggled, since it sounds like my parents did everything they could. I do know they were patient with me, but maybe I felt doubt that I could accomplish this task. To this day, I still doubt some of my activities, potty-training, no, but I don’t have the best confidence.

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Once a child hits the preschool age, around 3-6 years, his or her life begins to feel purposeful. “They are eager to tackle new tasks, join in activities with peers, and discover what they can do with the help of adults. They also make strides in conscience development” (Berk 246). The freedom to play and be imaginative is important during this stage as little ones begin to learn about themselves and the world around them. Positive adult guidance through play allows for children to begin to develop moral and gender-role standards. Guilt is felt when adults criticize, punish, overly guide, or even threaten children for play that in their eyes seems unacceptable. “During this stage, it is important for caregivers to encourage exploration and to help children make appropriate choices” (Cherry). Failure in this stage leads to guilt which can ultimately lead to feelings of failure and low confidence.

I truly enjoyed playing, and I do remember this feeling of playing throughout the day, but my parents mentioned that I didn’t do a lot of  imaginative play. Instead, I repeated things I saw others do, especially characters from cartoons, books, or things I saw done in person. I would play side by side with other children my age, but I rarely would interact with them. I know that this was something that my occupational and/or behavioral therapist would work on with me. I don’t believe I was ever really criticized, punished, or overly directed during this stage, but I do have guilt in my life. Whenever I think I’ve disappointed someone, I truly feel guilt. Did I develop this during this time period, and neither I nor my parents remember an occasion where this may have happened? I’m not sure.

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Between the ages of 6-11, children enter the fourth stage of Erikson’s psychosocial theory: industry versus inferiority. During this stage, a child’s social world begins to grow and their competence level of useful skills and tasks begin to take shape, especially if they have achieved positive experiences in the previous stages. Formal schooling usually takes place during this time period and more responsibilities are given. “Erikson’s sense of industry combines several developments of middle childhood:  a positive but realistic self-concept, pride in accomplishment, moral responsibility, and cooperative participation with agemates” (Berk 321). Inferiority develops when children lack confidence because they have not been prepared in the

earlier stages.

During these years, I began to play with others, and play became very important to me. Thus, I didn’t always want to do what I needed to do–school work in particular. I do recall fighting with both my teachers and parents over school work. I complained a lot and wanted to give up. I seemed to only enjoy school for the friendships and fun. This time period was a battle, and I am sure that things were said between my parents and me. I think I did feel inferior sometimes, and I still do occasionally. If something is too hard, I want to give up and not complete a task. I actually always got good grades, but it was through the battles I had to fight with my teachers and parents.

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As children enter adolescence, stage five of Erikson’s theory begins to take shape. This is the stage known as identity versus role confusion. Young people begin to discover their identity, what they value, and are beginning to make choices that impact the direction of their future lives. “Although the seeds of identity formation are planted early, not until late adolescence and early adulthood do young people become absorbed in this task” (Berk 398). A period of distress can be seen at this stage, as young people go through a series of what Erikson calls “soul-searching.” Those with earlier negative experiences may struggle towards adulthood and feel unprepared.

As I entered high school, I noticed that the battles between my parents and me over school work began to diminish. I still fought them when something was hard, but things began to get easier for me as I was able to begin selecting my classes in high school and make some of my own decisions. I, of course, would seek out others' advice, especially my parents, grandparents, friends, counselor, and teachers, but it felt good making true decisions for myself. It was during this time that I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I took a class in high school and did an internship at an elementary school, and I felt such passion for working with children. Most people thought I’d be a marine biologist, because of my love for animals, in particular sea creatures, but I decided teaching was the way to go. My parents, teachers, therapist, and counselors have been very supportive of this decision, and I am happy to know that I will one day be a teacher, a teacher’s aide, or a paraprofessional.

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In early adulthood, the sixth stage of Erikson’s psychosocial theory takes place. This is the stage in which intimate, loving relationships are established. These relationships include romantic pairings, but can also include important friendships outside of the family as well. Those that struggle in this stage face isolation and feelings of loneliness.

Many people my age have reached this stage of intimacy, but I have yet to feel any romantic feelings for another. I am not sure if this is my autism, but I do not have qualms about not having a romantic relationship. I’ve always been behind socially and emotionally, and maybe one day I will feel romantic feelings for another, but at this point, I do not. I have established strong friendships with others of both genders, and I am fine with this. My parents have always made sure that I maintained friendships with others, and I was even voted as “Person that Puts a Smile on Your Face” during my senior year of high school. I was also on the Homecoming Court as well. Although I hate such recognition, I guess this shows that people like me and that I have experienced intimacy through friendships.

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Middle adulthood sees the development of Erikson’s seventh stage, generativity versus stagnation. “Generativty means giving to the next generation through child rearing, caring for others, or productive work” (Berk 10). Getting married, raising children, finding satisfying work are all possible components that can be done during this stage, although the span of these can vary from person to person. Those that struggle during this stage feel unaccomplished and dissatisfied.

I have yet to reach this stage, but I feel that I will be able to put a mark on the next generation by being a part of a school system in some way. This will bring me satisfaction, and I am sure that those around me will help me feel this accomplishment.

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The final stage of Erikson’s psychosocial theory occurs during old age and is called integrity versus despair. Individuals may look back on their lives and question whether they’ve made an impact in the world or lead a meaningful life. Those that feel they have, tend to feel peace and accept that death may be near; while those that look back on their lives as a negative experience, fear death and are in despair.

I am a happy person generally. I find beauty and joy in the simple things around me. I love that I am close to my family and friends, and I enjoy learning, laughing, and just being together. I get up early so that I can make the most of my day, and I always try to be a good person. Thus, I think at the end of my life, I know I will be at peace with myself and the life I lead.