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Guiding Gifted Youth Through Self Awareness: Discussion Guide

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The Twice-exceptional Child and Imposter Syndrome

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"What if I just got lucky?"It's the question that lives in the hearts and minds of every person struggling with impostor syndrome. Along with, "Next time, I'll fail and then everyone will know I'm not clever after all." When a person is living with impostor syndrome, they are emotionally incapable of internalizing their accomplishments as real and deserved. They fear that their achievements are the result of some beneficial twist of fate, when in reality they are the fruits of talent and effort. In the worst case, it's a crippling fear of being found out that turns into a pathological avoidance of the spotlight. (I'm talking about something beyond the normal amount of self-doubt everyone struggles with at some point in their lives). The impostor syndrome phenomenon is typically associated with women, and for understandable reasons. Many women live with a lack of large-scale support for their efforts, along with a fundamental mistrust of their motivations. They are told that they are too emotional or irrational. One need only to turn to history (or more conveniently, the A Mighty Girl Facebook page) and read about the countless women whose historical contributions have been forgotten or mis-ascribed.

Just recently, I began to connect impostor syndrome with my students' avoidance of challenging educational experiences. Honestly, their avoidance is the product of numerous social-emotional challenges, but I rarely hear anyone discussing how impostor syndrome might be a contributing factor. A little while back, I presented a webinar for SENG titled "The Unique Challenge of Being a Gifted Woman." While preparing for that event, I spent a lot of time cogitating on my own life as a twice-exceptional woman and my avoidance of challenge. I realized that when I have struggled with impostor syndrome, it wasn't only due to the fact that I'm a woman. It's also because I have achieved great things in hands-on project-based settings, like a laboratory or a workshop, only to have my self-image torn apart during a timed test or otherwise judged for my inability to produce memorized information on demand. As a young woman I thought this meant I was stupid, when what's actually stupid is taking bright children and forcing them to demonstrate knowledge under terms that benefit only one type of learner. It's a waste of time, a waste of resources, and a waste of abilities. Not all is lost. I'm cheered that through the work of homeschoolers, micro-schools, and other alternative learning centers, children are learning that their worth isn't as measurable and finite as a letter on a test.

Together, we're combatting impostor syndrome. We're showing these kids that the future needs problem solvers and innovators, that their divergent thoughts can lead to just as much success as an "A" on a math test.

This is a truth that I'm only now beginning to fully internalize. I'm glad my students won't have to wait that long.
Let me know what tips and tricks have helped you overcome impostor syndrome.

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The Twice-exceptional Child and Impostor Syndrome - Jade Rivera

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"What if I just got lucky?"It's the question that lives in the hearts and minds of every person struggling with impostor syndrome. Along with, "Next time, I'll fail and then everyone will know I'm not clever after all." When a person is living with impostor syndrome, they are emotionally incapable of internalizing their accomplishments as real and deserved.

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The Imposter Syndrome and the Gifted Children

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Imposter Syndrome: Talking About Our Shared Secret

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Imposter Syndrome: Talking about our shared secret | Maryam Pasha | TEDxUCLWomen

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Ever wondered if the people you work with will find out you're a fraud? You might recognise Maryam Pasha's story.

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Goodbye to Your Imposter-Hello to Your Authentic Self

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Blog Hop:   Imposter Syndrome

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How to Charm Gifted Adults Into Giftedness

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The Curious Case of Imposter Syndrome

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It's easy to assume that our brightest students are confident and capable, bursting with self-esteem. However, high self-expectations and surprising insecurities cast a long shadow over their accomplishments.

Television news anchor, Donna Draves, remembers telling her mother she wanted to quit dance lessons because they were becoming boring. She revealed to the research interviewer that... her reason for quitting was actually that she was no longer the best dancer in the class.

From Duke TIP (emphasis mine)
Impostor's Syndrome

Donna's story is surprisingly common. High achievers believe that somehow, they have "tricked" everyone into thinking they are great. They think no one else is aware of their limitations. Success becomes attributed to luck, not ability.

Kids think things like:

I only won the science fair because [some other student] didn't enter this year.

I did well in middle school, but only because the teachers liked me.

You think I'm good at the piano, but that's only because I chose easy songs.

While attempting to maintain the illusion of perfection, they avoid situations that they might not be the best at. This is Impostor's Syndrome.

Case Study: Me

When I learned about Impostor's Syndrome, I was shocked: it described me perfectly.

I attended UC Irvine on a full academic scholarship, joined the school's honors program, majored in Computer Science, and graduated with great grades.

After graduating, I was afraid that if I tried to start a real career, I'd finally reveal myself as a fraud. I dodged interviews and potential employers. With a university diploma in hand, I worked easy, part-time jobs.

I was too afraid to even try to get a "real job." I thought that once I sat down for an interview, the illusion would vanish. The interviewer would see through me and realize I skated through school without learning anything. They'd laugh me out of the interview.

The Beginnings

In elementary school, I was confident and self-assured. I tried out for lead parts in class plays. I welcomed being team captain in PE. I sought leadership positions.

The transition to middle school and high school began the feelings of fraud.

I avoided answering questions and dodged discussions with my teachers. These on-the-spot moments were dangerous because I was unprepared. I might slip up, destroying the illusion. And the distance between myself and my teachers increased. Rather than 30 or so students, each teacher had over 100, and they only saw me once a day.

It became quite easy to hide.

I continued to do well on classwork because I could prepare, spending as much time as possible on my responses at home. But each time I succeeded, I felt like I had to hide more, because my deception was getting deeper and deeper.
My successes actually made the impostor syndrome worse!
Increased Distance, Decreased Confidence

As I moved on to college, these feelings intensified. I see now that as the distance between my teachers and I increased, the worse these feelings became.

In elementary school, my teachers knew my interests, strengths, and weaknesses. By college, they didn't even know my face. I felt more and more like I was sneaking past their overloaded plates.

These feelings are consistent with others:

[Impostor syndrome is] a shared learned behaviour common to high achievers - people are left on their own, competition is intense, and there's not much of a mentor system. From Feeling Like A Fraud

What To Do?

Ten years later, I understand the situation better. I needed:

A mentor. For me, student teaching was a wonderful experience because (for the first time) I was under constant observation by a caring expert.

Feedback I could trust. My master teacher's feedback was based on my unedited (and often terrible) performance, not an essay I spent hours getting just right before showing her.

To know that my feelings had a name. Simply knowing that others experienced the same thing somehow makes it more manageable.

Teachers, stay close to your students. Don't let the brightest kids just work on their own. This increases the feelings of being an impostor. Give caring, honest feedback of how your best students can improve. Never give the impression that you think they've perfectly mastered a topic. They know they haven't, and then they'll stop trusting your praise.

Parents, connect your students with experts in their interests so they can get feedback and guidance from a master (whether that's guitar playing, LEGO building, or acting). And don't feel bad that your kids don't trust your opinions! Encourage risk and accept mistakes. Don't let the expectations of perfection cloud your students' judgements.

Most of all, make your students aware of Impostor Syndrome, especially as they move along in their educational careers.

Further Reading

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They believe that only they are aware of their limitations, near misses, and potential for error. They attribute their success to luck, not ability. In an attempt to maintain an illusion of perfection, they avoid situations in which they might not be the best. This is called Impostor's Syndrome.