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If you're like me, one of the most bewildering questions you get in law school is "what do you want to do when you graduate?" I at once feel like there are so many things I could do, and yet also feel like I haven't found the (a?) thing I want to do. Which is not bad on it's own, but makes it hard to know when to say no or yes to things, and hard to figure out where to spend my time while maintaining a level of well-being in a law school experience that can feel overwhelming.

My wish is that if you feel like me, this class can help give you something to grab onto, that feels true to who you are and allows you to start sifting through the rest of it in a way that feels both more productive and exciting. I wish I'd had the chance to do that earlier in law school, rather than being drawn around to flashy objects like a moth :)

I can't wait to have this experience together!

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“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”

“Ask yourself: is what I’m doing helping me or harming me?”

I cannot tell you enough how much I enjoyed and learned from this class. Too often in law school, I let the goals and fears of others cloud my own objectives and feelings. Bridgette and Vivek’s seminar taught me how to live with intention—and most importantly, my own intention. It’s not always easy. There are days that I stray from the path. But it is 100% worth it, 100% of the time.

I wish you the vulnerability to find what you want and the resilience to block out ambivalence and negativity. I hope you listen to every word Bridgette and Vivek say—they are a shining light of joy and warmth. Enjoy the semester!

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You are brilliant. You are capable. You belong here. You deserve to be happy. Please remember these things, as they can be incredibly easy to forget while you are going through the objectively hellish experience that is law school!

For real, law school is terrible. It's designed to make you feel terrible, and it WILL make you feel terrible if you feel like a law student is all you are. Set boundaries between yourself and your schoolwork, do things outside of the law school, and do things that bring you joy. Also, to the extent that you can, avoid things that don't bring you joy! You don't have to do anything for the sole sake of prestige or to prove that you're good enough to be a lawyer; you are already good enough, and you don't have to prove anything.

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My wish for you all is that you leave this semester feeling more comfortable about taking the time to think about yourself. In law school, I have often found that I don’t take the time to think about myself in the moment or check-in with myself: am I enjoying what I’m doing? Am I feeling fulfilled? Do I feel as if something is missing?  It often is for two reasons: 1) I feel I can’t “justify” taking the time to do it, and 2) I’m afraid what the answer will be and the time/effort/energy it would take to respond to my answers to these questions.

If you’ve experienced this like I have, I wish for us all to work on eliminating these two reasons.

1.     We never have to “justify” taking time for ourselves. No matter what it is we’re doing, self-preservation is a necessary step to doing anything. Get rid of excuses, it will always be the right time to check-in with yourself and it will save you time/effort/energy later on, which leads us to . . .

2.     If we’re nervous or scared about how we’ll respond to these questions, that means something needs to change. It may be that we’re feeling okay, but if we’re not, having the courage to admit that and adjust will give us the strength we need to make changes as necessary.

We will always be learning, growing, making mistakes, achieving successes, and thinking about what’s next. By studying tools on how to do this most effectively for you, I hope that we all leave this course with a lifelong commitment to making our self-care a top priority in our lives, and being okay with that.

E.G. Self-care could mean taking the time to find what you fills you with joy. For example, as a baby, I would freak out over ice cream (pictured below). Find what gives you that childhood joy and chase it!

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You have taken the best first step by thinking about designing your life NOW. Not after law school is over, not after you accomplish x or y, not after you achieve that next rung on the ladder of prestige, but now. Don't wait!

To echo Vivek, I also barely got into Michigan Law (also got in off the waiting list); I didn't make Law Review (which destroyed me at the time); I applied for clerkships throughout 2L and 3L years, sending literally hundreds of applications, finally getting one in March of 3L; I didn't get a Skadden or EJW Fellowship; I didn't get into the DOJ Honors Program; I ended up at a law firm (which was not what I wanted as a public interest student); and so on.

But none of those things define me; in fact many made me who I am today. And they won't define you unless you let them. You have to define yourself first, or those other things will fill in the gap. So use this seminar to find ways to define yourself -- what brings you joy, happiness, peace, love. The rest is just noise.

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[insert wisdom] [working on it omg you all are so profound and thoughtful, I need a minute]

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I once heard a relationship guru say that there is no The One but that you could fit a whole stadium with compatible life partners (and many more stadiums with incompatible people).* Law school and life are similar, I think. There are a ton of different careers you could have and places you could be and things you could do that will all give you happiness and fulfillment. And yet there are even more possible lives that just aren't right for who you are and what you need to be happy.

Law school will open the doors to both. My wish for you all is that you stay open-minded and creative about the many opportunities and paths that will lead to your fulfillment and that you can tie yourself to the mast when presented with options that, tempting though they may be, are not compatible with your needs, skills, and desires.

*Yes, I confess that I'm the kind of person who (a) has listened to a professional relationship guru, (b) still remembers what they said years later, and (c) will attempt to mine their words for wisdom on the Wishing Wall.

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Be kind to yourself. Law school is challenging, but it is easier when you give yourself permission to do whatever it is YOU need to do to stay healthy and happy.

I'm a new alum, so I don't have the benefit of years of perspective, but I know I can rely on the MLaw community (including all you) for guidance and support. Everyone wants you to succeed, and it is up to you to decide what that looks like.
I look forward to celebrating your successes big and small.

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i have to admit that my first year after law school was not filled with joy at all. i allowed the environment i was in (and certain people i was working with) to make me doubt myself and my abilities. that year almost convinced me that i had made a mistake going to law school and joining my law firm. but i am happy to say that today, i find joy in my work life. i am still at the same law firm, practicing in the same group. the difference is that i have gained institutional knowledge, and friends and mentors who can guide me.

my message to you: don’t let that inner voice of doubt overwhelm your other thoughts and knowledge about yourself. you will work with different people throughout your career, but none of them will know you as well as you know yourself. trust yourself and remember that wherever you are, you have a voice. don’t be afraid to use it. and remember that your work does not define you.

best of luck in these trying times, and always feel free to reach out!

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Give yourself the permission to take a different path and to dream big.  And don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something.  I barely got into Michigan Law (got in late off the waitlist) and didn't talk to a professor while I was here (except for my clinical profs).  I wanted to clerk but didn't get one.  Yet, nearly two decades later, somehow I am on the faculty of a law school.  In the early stages of my career (like the first 15 years) I never thought I was good enough to apply for jobs.  But having seen how the world operates, I have a simple message for all of you.  We need you at the table at every important conversation!  You belong in the room where it happens. So think big!

But also remember that work is not life.  It is a part of life.  I am a husband.  A father.  And then a lawyer.  Being a lawyer does not define who I am.

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Wherever you are now, have hope, and let it guide you. You can be happy and have a fulfilling career, too. I can say that as a happy young lawyer who was once an unhappy law student.

Looking back, my law-student self was obsessed with everything I was not doing right. A healthy dose of self criticism may be inevitable because law school is, after all, a place to grow and improve. But I made the mistake of being consumed in it and let many opportunities for joy slip away.

I hope that, with the help from Bridgette and Vivek, you will be a wiser law student than I was. Let hope, not fear, guide you--more so, in this tough, covid era. Take it one step at a time and celebrate each other. Give yourself a generous pat in the back every time you do something right. I know you deserve one now, because you found yourself in this seminar.

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“I chose to bet on myself!”

Hearing Bridgette Carr say those words completely revolutionized how I think of my career. In a profession that is often risk averse and supposedly “clear next steps,” it becomes increasingly difficult to follow your bliss and make your own choices. But I now bet on myself. I left the big law job I didn’t love to go work on a presidential primary campaign—and it was one of the best decisions I ever made! And with that, I hope you too choose to reflect deeply on what brings you bliss and to bet on yourself always—know that all of us have already placed our bets on you to be your own version of successful!

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"Just because you can doesn't mean you should." I first heard this sentence after telling the dean of IU medical school I was dropping out and giving up my full ride. This advice has served me well ever since. All of you can do so many things -- it doesn't mean you should.  Figure out what lights you up and brings your joy.  Follow the light. I hope this semester fills you up in all of the best ways.