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I had always thought that everything needed a label, specifically types of relationships. Growing up, I've consumed tons of media that stressed the negativity of cheating and the importance of being in a monogamous relationship. According to Foucault, this is a part of normalizing/disciplinary power where we label people as subjects so those feelings are internalized since we are self-policing what is "right" and "wrong". I have spent the past few years trying to figure out whether I was straight or bisexual, but thanks to Foucault I've come to learn that sexual identities are fairly new and we shouldn't be labeling our desires or sexuality. I want to embrace the complexity and fluidity of personal desires.

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finally breaking away from predefined categories

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I am finally getting tired of looking for the correct term to describe my sexuality. I have come to realize that there is no "correct" term or one term and I am not confined to whatever label is branded upon me. I will simply follow my desires and do what makes me feel joy, however that may be. Although I might face some backlash from judgmental individuals, I feel that I am doing right by me by allowing myself to pursue whatever it is that makes me happy, instead of doing what is expected of me. These expectations aren't just limited to myself, but also include the various stigmas associated with labels/lack of labels.

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i've always dreamt of a mini me... but now i'm not sure

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Despite my breakthrough of leaving behind labels, my goal in life is to have children and start a family. The reason being is because I have always been very close with my family, including my grandparents, cousins, and aunts/uncles. As much as I try to break away from heteronormativity, I feel that I participate in Edelman's Reproductive Futurism where I want to create a better future for our children. This notion is truly eye-opening because it exposes sexuality as just fucking and not reproducing due to queer individuals. As a result, this brings a new type of confusion into my life since I participate in these politics although I have no intentions of oppressing queerness.

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how can i hold onto my dream without conforming to heteronormativity?

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A nuclear family has always been my ultimate goal. I have always imagined and pictured how life as a family would be like with every partner I've ever had. I have been so serious about the future of our relationships that it has always been a reason for our split. I believe this is due to my MBTI personality type being ESFJ. My personality type emphasizes on serious relationships with marriage and family being the ultimate goal. I feel that achieving this goal would bring the utmost of happiness to my life. The only issue is, how can I achieve my nuclear family without oppressing the queer community and queerness itself?

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I've always wondered what it means to be happy. I thought I could finally be happy when I get married and start a family. As it turns out, I've been conditioned to think this way my whole life. According to Ahmed, happiness is a disciplinary technique that justifies oppression through directing us in the "right" direction, which just so happens to uphold societal norms. Don't get me wrong, I think starting a family will definitely bring me happiness; however, I have now learn to live in the moment and do what makes me happy presently. Whether it be denying labels and pursuing my desires, I will do everything to achieve happiness without justifying oppression and following social norms.