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What parents/carers and educators need to know about Violent Online Conduct

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What parents/carers and educators need to know about Violent Online Conduct

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What parents/carers/educators need to know about making friends online

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What parents/carers/educators need to know about making friends online

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Find out what victim support services are available to you in North Yorkshire.

Available services

Find information about different types of crime and how to get help if you have been a victim.

Crime information

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Victim Support | Supporting Victims in North Yorkshire

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Have you been the victim of crime in North Yorkshire? We provide advice, information and support. Find out how we can help you.

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What parents/carers/educators need to know about Instagram

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What parents/carers/educators need to know about Instagram

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Supporting Parents and Carers to Protect Children from Sexual Abuse and Exploitation

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Parents Protect helps parents and carers protect children from sexual abuse and exploitation by providing child safety resources.

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What parents/carers/educators need to know about WhatsApp

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What parents/carers/educators need to know about WhatsApp

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When someone takes their life and you were in some way involved or a witness, it can be really tough and upsetting. Even if you didn't know the person at all. People who have witnessed a suicide in these - or other - ways are often called 'witness survivors'.

Being a witness survivor can be extremely traumatic and it is likely that what you are feeling is normal. You may have had some of the reactions below. You may not, that is also completely normal because everyone reacts differently.

You might also find you are:

Avoiding the place where you witnessed the suicide

Feeling anxious and panicky when you have to go near that place

Not sleeping well, and/or you have disturbing dreams and nightmares

Having disturbing thoughts you can't block out

Thinking about death and dying

Having flashbacks

Feeling generally anxious

Wanting to be alone

Feeling numb

Avoiding social situations

Losing track of time

More impulsive and reckless in your behaviour

Using alcohol or drugs more than usual

You may find that you react over time and that your thoughts and feelings change. This is a completely normal reaction to trauma. If you know other witness survivors, you may find you are reacting differently. Again, this is normal as people deal with trauma in different ways.

What to do to care for yourself

Give yourself time to rest and recover. It will take time to feel in control again - this is normal.

Reassure yourself that what happened is over, that you are safe. You will get through this.

Make little decisions, but avoid making big ones while you are feeling this way.

Understand it is normal to have disturbing mental images of what happened - these will fade over time.

Sleep and eat even if it is hard to, exercise and get outside in the fresh air. Don't neglect your health, but if you are really struggling, see your GP.

Avoid drink and drugs, you may want to numb the pain but it will not help your long term recovery. Keep taking your normal medication is that is what you usually do.

Talking really helps. It could be to a friend, or to a helpline like Samaritans (116 123).

What has happened to you is traumatic what you are feeling is your response to trauma. There may be professionals and experienced people in your area who you can contact. Check here

Try to keep a routine, get up in the morning, eat at set times, see friends, walk the dog.

Remember you are not alone

Accessing Support

If you feel as though you would like to talk to a professional about your experiences or that you may be experiencing PTSD from the event it please see here to search for local services in your area that will be able to offer you support.

I need to talk to someone now

There is help available if you need to talk to someone right away. These organisations have helplines where you can talk to someone confidentially and quickly.

Samaritans

116 123, open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Samaritans.org

Cruse Bereavement Care

0808 808 1677, Monday-Friday 9.30 am - 5 pm (excluding bank holidays), with extended hours on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings until 8 pm.
Cruse.org.uk

CALM

0800 58 58 58, open from 5 pm to midnight every day.
thecalmzone.net

Papyrus HOPELINEUK

0800 068 4141. For those under 35, or if you are worried about a young person. Open weekdays 10 am-10 pm, weekends 2 pm-10 pm and bank holidays from 2 pm-10 pm.
Papyrus-uk.org

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When someone takes their life and you were in some way involved or a witness, it can be really tough and upsetting. Even if you didn't know the person at all. People who have witnessed a suicide in these - or other - ways are often called 'witness survivors'.

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York Carers Centre

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Home / Young carers

Young carers

We support young people aged between 5 and 18 who are helping to look after someone at home.

You might be helping look after a brother or sister, parent or grandparent with an illness, disability, mental health problem or a problem with alcohol or drugs.

What do we offer?

Youth clubs

Our youth clubs are just for young carers. We have three separate groups which are split by age so that you can be with others the same age . We play games, make things, bake things, sit around, have snacks and just have some fun.

Trips

We have lots of trips and events for you to join in with. They are usually in the school holidays but can sometimes be on evenings or weekends. The trips are a chance for you to have a break from caring, meet some other young carers and to try out new things and places.

Please contact us for information about young carer events.

One to one support

We offer one to one support to those young carers who are going through an especially tough time with caring. It's a chance to talk through any problems you have and find ways of making things better.

School

We hold lunch time drop in sessions at some York schools. It's a chance to catch up with our support workers and the other young carers at your school. We also offer a Young Carer Card for you to carry at school, so that you can show it to your teacher to help you explain if you need extra support or understanding.

If you work at a York school and would like to hold a drop in at your school, or work with us to plan support for young carers, please get in touch.

Discount card

When you register with us as a young carer you will get a discount card to use at a range of shops and cafes in York.

Carers emergency card

If you support someone who is over 18 you may also be able to get a Carers Emergency Card.

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The Young Carers Support app enables young and young adult carers in the UK to find information and advice, self-help resources, wellbeing tips and activities, plus a catalogue of support services - all in one place.

It's free and available for any young carer, or professional working with young carers to download on Android and iOS.

If you want advice, help or support from our young carer service, please contact us using this link. We will be in touch within a few days. Young carers need to have their parent or guardian's permission to complete this form.

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Find immediate help online and request further support from our young carer team

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If you would like to know about the support offer for Young Carers, please email Mrs Cole on youngcarers@millthorpe.elt.org.uk

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Building generations of lifelong learners

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Accessible by speaking to your Progress Leader or emailing counselling@millthorpe.elt.org.uk

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We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking "Accept All", you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.

Skip to content

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We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking "Accept All", you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Skip to content

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The Hub is open to all asylum seeker, refugee and migrant families and individuals in the City of York and the surrounding area.

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Ivison Trust is a national charity dedicated to supporting parents whose children have been sexually or criminally exploited.

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We work with parents and carers of children who are at risk of being exploited by perpetrators. We offer guidance and training to professionals.

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Includes helpful tips on WhatsApp privacy setting

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What is WhatsApp?
WhatsApp is one of the most popular instant messaging apps, used by over 2 billion people in 180 countries. It allows you to send and receive messages, as well as make voice and video calls. You can connect with people individually or join group chats where lots of people can contribute. All you need to set up a WhatsApp account is a phone number.
What age rating is WhatsApp?
The app is rated 16+.
Features of WhatsApp
To connect you with others, WhatsApp checks your phone's address book for other users and automatically suggests these as your WhatsApp contacts. It also updates your WhatsApp contact list whenever your phone contacts sign up to the app. This is an optional feature, and you can switch it off, but this puts limits on the app's functionality.

When you are using WhatsApp, certain information is shared with your contacts:

Status - this allows you to share updates on your profile in the form of text, photo, video, or GIF that disappears after 24 hours.

Last seen - this tells your contacts what time you last used the app.

Online - this tells your contacts if you are currently using the app.

Read receipts - this allows users to see if the message has been sent, delivered, and read.

Through the privacy settings in the app, you can help your child control who can see this information.

The new 'Communities' feature allows users to connect multiple groups together under one umbrella to organise group conversations on WhatsApp, meaning that thousands of users can join a community. A WhatsApp community, unlike a group, is a collection of related groups under one roof.

WhatsApp makes use of certain features that are focused on the privacy of its users. Some of these key features are:

End-to-end encryption - this means that only people within the chat can read or listen to what is being sent. WhatsApp cannot view these messages, and they cannot be remotely accessed by police or government, and they can't be seen by hackers. This means that the message privacy is more secure, but also means they can't be monitored for illegal activity.

Disappearing messages - this is an optional feature that allows you to set messages to disappear 24 hours, 7 days, or 90 days after sending. This setting can be applied to all chats or selected ones. It is important to remember that messages can still be saved, screenshotted, or forwarded before they disappear.

View once - this feature allows you to send photos and videos that disappear from your chat once they've been opened. The image or video that you send cannot be saved, shared, or forwarded and you can see when it has been opened (if you have read receipts turned on). The image or video expires after 14 days if it is not opened.

Live location - this allows you to share your real-time location for a certain amount of time with other users in an individual chat or group. You can stop sharing at any time but the people you shared it with will still be able to see your last updated location.

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Explore our WhatsApp guide to ensure privacy settings are being used.

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One to one telephone contact for parents and carers needing emotional support

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Our 1-1 telephone appointments for parent carers looking for emotional support.

You might be struggling emotionally and looking for strategies to help you cope. Or maybe you just need to talk to someone who understands the extra challenges you face and who can point you in the right direction to get the support you need for your family.

To help, we offer 1-1 telephone appointments with a family support adviser for parent carers looking for a listening ear, reassurance and practical and emotional support.

Making an appointment is simple: Choose the day (morning, afternoon or evening), and when you register choose the time slot you want. Appointments are regularly updated and are subject to availability.

Important information before booking

Please ensure that you book your call for a time that you know you will be free to talk and somewhere that you feel safe and is quiet so that you can get the most out of the time you have

All appointments are one hour long.

BOOK A FREE APPOINTMENT
Watch our senior parent adviser Shona talk about Listening Ear below to find out more about what the service is, what parents can talk about during their call, what families think of their Listening Ear experience, and some of her most memorable calls so far.

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Our 1-1 telephone appointments for parent carers looking for emotional support. You might be struggling emotionally and looking for strategies to help you cope. Or maybe you just need to talk to someone who understands the extra challenges you face and who can point you in the right direction to get the support you need for your family.

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4th February - drop in anytime between 2pm and 6pm

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Childline: Support for suicidal feelings

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Childline: Support for suicidal feelings

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A young persons support page which is a useful read for parents/carers who have a child who may be experiencing this

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5 things you can do

hobbies or stuff you enjoy like listening to music (not something that could make things worse like drugs and alcohol)

physical activity like sports, dancing, jogging or yoga

talking to someone you trust or to others on our message boards

something that give you a sense of achievement, like drawing or doing a puzzle

look at a photo of someone who really cares about you.

Focus on 1 thing you're doing right now. Concentrate on your body, not on your thoughts. You could have a warm bath or just lie down on your bed or the sofa.

You can try:

tensing up all your muscles using all your strength and then slowly relax them

taking deep breaths by breathing in slowly through your nose, and then breathe slowly out through your mouth.

Fill your comfort box with all your favourite things. You could have photos of people you care about, inspirational quotes or song lyrics you like, your favourite snacks and gifts from someone you love. Turn to your comfort box when you're struggling.

Imagine things are going well and you're coping. In your mind, picture a favourite place. It could be somewhere real or made-up. Imagine you're there. Create a mental image of yourself coping really well and getting help with what's going on.

Think of a positive phrase which reminds you that you can cope with things.

It should be in the first person ("I" and "me"). And in the present tense ("I am" or "I do" NOT "I will" or "I am going to")

You could try repeating these positive phrases to yourself:

"I am doing really well"

"I am getting through this"

"I have a lot to give"

Or try making up some of your own. Get more ideas on our message boards.

Doing exercise is great for your mental health. It can relax you. And give you more energy. It can also make you feel more confident and help you deal with things.

It's important to find a type of exercise that's right for you. Everyone enjoys something different. It could be running, walking, football, skipping, dancing or yoga. You could try a few different things and see what you like.

Create a space in your room or diary and fill it with pictures or things that you like - the things you feel good about. You could look at old pictures that bring up good memories. Or watch one of your favourite films. You can also use our Art box to create, save and print your own images.

Put on the music you love. It could be something soft and soothing. Or it could be loud and exciting. Whatever you're into. If you're not in the mood for music, try going to a park and just listening to the sound of birds and trees. Focussing on these noises can help block out worrying thoughts.

Everyone has a few favourite smells. So think about what smells you like and try to enjoy them when you're feeling down or stressed. Take your time to breathe them in. Focus on the smell and try to block out your other thoughts. It could be a certain perfume or shampoo. Maybe oranges, toast or food being cooked. Or it might be the smell of freshly cut grass.

Have your favourite meal. Or you could eat something you used to love, but haven't had in a while. Try different flavours and textures. And don't forget to try eating healthy food as this can affect your mood. Check out our advice on staying healthy.

Touching different things can make you feel a connection with the world around you. And can also take your mind off worrying thoughts. Run your tongue around your mouth and feel the different surfaces. Gently touch walls in your school or home. Feel the zip or buttons on a jacket. Have a bath. Stroke your pet. Give yourself a hand massage or feel the texture of each of your fingernails. Exercise or lift weights. Go for a walk or run.

Talking to someone about how you feel is a really important part of getting help. It means you don't have to deal with everything on your own.

But it's not always easy to do. Describing how you feel can feel really scary.
Try our tips to make it easier to talk:

plan and prepare what you want to say

write down what you want to say and practise saying it

think about the main things you want to get out of talking to someone

ask yourself if you want advice, or if you just want to say how you're feeling

try talking when the person isn't busy or about to rush off.

Keeping the conversation going

It's good to talk about a problem. But what if you told someone and it didn't help?

Talking about an issue is often a process. It's not just something you do once.

Telling someone how you feel might make you feel bad at first. But after a few times of talking about it, you could start to feel differently.

And it doesn't have to be new information either. Sometimes talking about the same things again and again can help you understand what you're going through.

So remember, if you told someone how you feel but it didn't help - keep trying. And think of other people you trust who might be able to help.

You can talk to us about anything
Whatever you say will be just between you and Childline. And you can feel safe talking to us, knowing that no one else will find out.

Read more about our confidentiality promise.

Somewhere new

To be able to see YouTube videos, we have to ask you to accept Targeting Cookies within your Cookie Settings

Other sites that can help:

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Coping with suicidal feelings | Childline

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Learn about how you can cope with suicidal thoughts. Over time, you can start to feel better. And Childline is here with you for every step.

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Community food support

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Community Support | The Collective Sharehouse | York

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The Collective Sharehouse provides support for residents of York, primarily of Micklegate ward, providing non-perishable food items, fruit and vegetables, toiletries and cleaning products plus professional support about any concerns or problems, big or small.

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Follow @the_enlightened_parent on Instagram for more advice on keeping your child safe online

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Six Top Tips for parents to keep your children safe online

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Six Top Tips for parents to keep your children safe online

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An amazing one-stop shop for easy-to-understand, step-by-step parent guides to the parental controls

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This page is for parents - if you are a teacher, click here

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Find a step-by-step parental controls guide

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Set up parental controls on a range of devices and platforms to help children develop key online safety and digital literacy skills.

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Free online courses for all parents, carers, grandparents and teens

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inourplace | Solihull Approach – Online courses for emotional health and wellbeing.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach – York | inourplace

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Your online space for nurturing emotional wellbeing York | inourplace Free online courses for all parents, carers, grandparents and teens Nurturing emotional health and wellbeing from bump to 19+ years City of York Council, in partnership with the Solihull Approach, offer free access to online courses expertly designed for parents, carers, grandparents and teens living

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Guidance for parents and carers, staff and students going through exams

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Copy of GCSE Courses and exam boards 2024_5

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York services for children and young people

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York services for children and young people

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There are a number of services in York that are available for Children and Young People in York and their families. These services have been set up to provide support to children and young people and professionals working with children and young people who are able to refer to these services.

Some of these services have been commissioned by the North Yorkshire Police, Fire and Crime Commissioner.

See details of available services, and how referrals can be made.

Survive and Community Counselling

An all age, counselling and talking therapy service to support victims of crime to cope and recover. The service aims to enable victims to either support themselves independently or be supported through an appropriate peer support network by the end of provision.

Community Counselling deliver adult (aged 18 and over) services in Scarborough and Ryedale as well as a countywide service for young people (aged 17 and under).

Survive deliver adult services in Craven, Hambleton, Harrogate, Richmondshire, York and Selby.

Referrals are made via the Supporting Victims team.
Contact details:
Adult Perpetrators of Domestic Abuse service - Foundation +Choices

+Choices (Positive Choices) is a service of Foundation, part of the Inspire North group, which provides award-winning support services and accredited training in areas such as mental health, housing, and domestic abuse across the north of England.

Positive Choices work with low to medium risk perpetrators of domestic abuse, providing an opportunity to recognise, acknowledge and change abuse behaviour.

The Positive Choices programme is available for anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation aged 16 years and over who is a perpetrator of domestic abuse, including repeat offenders and adolescents violent toward parents, who wish to voluntary address their abusive behaviour.

The Positive Choices domestic abuse perpetrator programme is delivered as part of a whole system wherein partners, ex-partners and/or other family members are also offered access to our Integrated Support Service (ISS). A dedicated Victim Liaison Officer (VLO) will be the first point of contact whilst the perpetrator is engaging with the programme. They will work in partnership with other agencies to provide a robust and integrated system of support for the partners and/or ex-partners of the clients that engage with the programme, with the key focus to increase their safety and wellbeing, as well as the safety of any children involved.

Positive Choices is a Respect Accredited service and is a recommended provision of Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Programme (DAPP) support for perpetrators and victims of domestic abuse.

Positive Choices offer:

triage and emergency, temporary accommodation for those who do not have access to funds or alternative accommodation

one-to-one motivational interventions

tailored Choices Perpetrator Programme, group delivery or Respect Accredited one to one for those not suitable to attend group settings

support to address wider needs such as housing, finance, substance misuse and mental health through onward referrals and/or liaison with other support services as appropriate

Some individuals may require emergency accommodation as they have been removed from their home due to the risk they pose to their victim and/or family. We will assist in accessing temporary accommodation, with support to report to the local housing office the next working day when longer term accommodation is required.

Once any immediate needs have been addressed, perpetrators will be allocated to an Appropriate Project Officer and a full needs and risk assessment will be undertaken with them to identify the most suitable support to address their needs.

Individuals ready to engage with the core programme will be supported through a tailored package of interventions to meet their individual needs and guide them through the various stages of the group peer support led behaviour change programme. Or Respect accredited one-to-one sessions.

The overall objective of the service is to enable individuals, regardless of gender, who are engaged in abusive behaviour towards their current or former intimate partners, or immediate family members, the opportunity to recognise, acknowledge and change that behaviour. The aim is to prevent the abusive behaviour escalating and/or reduce the risk posed to, whilst increasing the safety of, victims and their children.

Positive Choices referrals

Referrals can be made by agencies and other professionals working with perpetrators, their families, or victims. You can also self-refer, using the online referral form.

Referrals can only be accepted where explicit consent has been obtained from the individual who recognised and accepts their abusive behaviour and is ready to engage in our behaviour change programme.

Not be referred as part of a court ordered activity, where there are ongoing child application arrangements. In such cases a referral to a Cafcass approved provider is needed.

All referrals will be assessed by the appropriate Project Officer, who will review all relevant information regarding risk. They will then complete an initial risk assessment including the individuals' suitability for the programme; identification of their most immediate needs; and any action needed to safeguard the victim from further harm.
Contact details:
Foundation +Choices Perpetrator Prevention Toolkit Workshops

Share your contact details in order find out more about Foundation +Choices Perpetrator Prevention Toolkit Workshops by completing the Enquiry Form on their website.

The domestic abuse perpetrator prevention workshop helps:

If you would like more information on toolkit DA information sessions email: [email protected] to be the first to hear about new projects and opportunities via their newsletter.

Domestic Abuse Victims Community Based Support services - IDAS

Delivered by Independent Domestic Abuse Services (IDAS), support is available for anyone aged 16 and over who is a direct victim or survivor of domestic abuse. Support is available for all genders and regardless of sexual orientation. The services offer:

community engagement and Champions training to raise awareness of all forms of domestic abuse

early intervention and prevention advice and support

one-to-one emotional and practical support, including support through any police investigation and/or court proceedings

target Hardening where necessary to help victims remain safely within their own homes

supported group work and peer support networks

onward referrals and/or liaison with other agencies and support services as appropriate

The overall objective of the service is to enable all victims and survivors of domestic abuse to cope with the immediate impacts of crime and recover from the harm experienced, and reach out to more people who are victims and survivors of domestic abuse through targeted community engagement to encourage an increase in self-reporting to access support. The aim is for victims and survivors to be and feel safer in their own home, and to be able to support themselves independently, or through an appropriate peer support network by the end of the provision of support.

Referrals can be made by police officers and other professionals working with victims and survivors as well as self-referrals, and support is available whether individuals want to make a formal report to the police or not.
Contact details:
A live web chat facility is also available via the IDAS website.

All referrals will initially be reviewed by specialist domestic abuse staff in a centralised referral hub who will complete an initial assessment looking at risk and need, providing triage, immediate advice, support and safety planning including arranging personal or home security equipment as required. For those that require further support, the hub team will refer on to a Safe Lives Accredited (Independent Domestic Violence Adviser accredited) Domestic Abuse Practitioner to provide specialist one-to-one support, peer support group and/or to an external agency.

Domestic Abuse 'Whole Family' Approach: Support Services for children and young affected by domestic abuse - IDAS

Independent Domestic Abuse Services (IDAS) have been commissioned to develop a 'Whole Family Approach' from 1 July 2021 providing support services for children and young people affected by domestic abuse in North Yorkshire and the City of York. In addition to providing tailored support directly to children, young people and their parent/s or guardian/s, IDAS will work in collaboration with University of York St. John and other key stakeholders to significantly improve the overall evidence base of actual needs of children and young people living in households where domestic abuse occurs, and identify the most effective interventions to meet these needs and inform future service development and strategic planning.

Support will be available for all families with dependent children and young people living in households where domestic abuse occurs. Support is available for all genders and regardless of sexual orientation. The services will offer:

intensive one-to-one emotional and practical support for children and young people aged 10 years and over

referrals for parents/guardians into and ongoing liaison with IDAS victim services to ensure that support plans are co-ordinated and support the family's common goals

supported group work and peer support networks

onward referrals and/or liaison with other support services as appropriate

The overall objective of the services is to enable children and young people living in households where domestic abuse occurs to cope with the immediate impacts and recover from the harm experienced. The aim is for children and young people to be and feel safer in their own home.
Referrals can be made by police officers and other professionals working with families as well as self-referrals, and support is available whether they want to make a formal report to the police or not.
Contact details:
A live web chat facility is also available via the IDAS website.

All referrals will initially be reviewed by specialist lead practitioner in a centralised referral hub who will complete an initial assessment looking at risk and need, referring into or liaising with the Domestic Abuse Victims Community Based Support services before allocating to a specialist Young Person Domestic Abuse Practitioner to ensure a holistic assessment of the whole family, alongside information about any other agency involvement, so that duplication is avoided and support is coordinated for the whole family.

Support Services for Young People Displaying Abusive Behaviour - Respect - IDAS

Delivered by Independent Domestic Abuse Services (IDAS), support is available for young people aged 10 to 16 years who are demonstrating abusive behaviour towards their family members and/or within intimate relationships with other young people. Support will also be offered to their parent/guardians. Support is available for all genders and regardless of sexual orientation. The services offer:

short-term telephone support for parent/guardians with supporting Parent Information Packs providing advice on safety planning, boundary setting and behaviour management

Respect Young People's Programme, which uses a 'whole family' approach to address adolescent to parent violence and abuse

Specialist Young Perpetrators Programme, which uses a tailored one-to-one approach with older young people using abusive behaviours within intimate relationships with other young people

onward referrals and/or liaison with other support services as appropriate

The overall objective of services is to enable young people who are starting to show signs of or demonstrating abusive behaviour within intimate relationships and/or the family setting to recognise this and help them to change their behaviour and re-build their relationships with their intimate partner, parent/s, guardian/s and/or siblings. The aim is to prevent the abusive behaviour escalating and/or reduce the risk posed by the young people to their intimate partner, parent/s, guardian/s and/or siblings.

Referrals can be made by police officers and other professionals working with young people and their families (with consent) as well as self/parent-referrals.
Contact details:
A live web chat facility is also available via the IDAS website.

All referrals will initially be reviewed by specialist domestic abuse staff in a centralised referral hub who will complete an initial assessment looking at risk and need, providing triage, immediate advice, support and safety planning. For those that require further support, the hub team will refer on to a specially trained Young People's Domestic Abuse Practitioner to provide the most appropriate support package to meet their needs.

It is important not to make assumptions about the impact on a child of parental drug and/or alcohol misuse. However, a parent's practical caring skills may be diminished by misuse of drugs and/or alcohol. Some substance misuse may give rise to mental states or behaviour that put children at risk of injury, psychological distress or neglect. Some substance misusing parents may find it difficult to give priority to the needs of their children. Finding money for drugs and/or alcohol may reduce the money available to the household to meet basic needs or may draw families into criminal activities.

York Young Person's Drug and Alcohol Team offer support for young people in the community or a school, at a mutually convenient place and time. Approach is flexible and based upon reducing the harm drugs and alcohol can cause. Referrals can be made by the Young People themselves, by family, friends and other professionals. The only requirement is that the young person is aware the referral is being made and they are willing to meet. All aspects of our service is free to access.

Support may include:

Making a Drug and Alcohol Team referral

Please complete the Young People's Substance Misuse Referral Form, which is available on the Changing Lives website.

Email completed forms to: [email protected] .

Changing Lives also offer a drug and alcohol dependency service for adults.
Contact details:
Address:

York Drug and Alcohol Service
3 Blossom Street
York
YO24 1AU

This following services have been commissioned by the North Yorkshire Police, Fire and Crime Commissioner.

North Yorkshire SOS+ St. Giles Trust

North Yorkshire SOS+ St. Giles Trust is delivering North Yorkshire SOS+, an exploitation support service for children and young adults in York and North Yorkshire. The SOS+ service will:

Support those aged 10-25 who have been victims of, or are at risk of all forms of exploitation, and those who repeatedly go missing

Focus on early intervention and prevention via community outreach and awareness raising across youth and educational settings

Provide support to victims of exploitation to cope with the immediate impacts of the crime and to rebuild resilience from the harm experienced

Provide bespoke support via keyworkers, who will establish the most appropriate type of support dependent upon needs, support can be offered via brief intervention or longer-term support

Include support from those with lived experience of exploitation

Capture the voice of the child/young adult and ensure this is fed into local arrangements

Raise awareness of the signs and symptoms of all forms of exploitation

Improve outcomes for the individuals supported by the service, across a range of pathways.

If you have any queries please contact the St. Giles Trust Service Manager [email protected] .

To make a referral, complete the St Giles Trust referral form.

Ivison Trust

Ivison Trust (formally known as Parents Against Child Exploitation - PACE) offers a Parent Liaison Officer (PLO) support service in North Yorkshire for parents and carers of children who are, or who are at risk of being, exploited by individuals from outside the family. This includes all the main forms of child exploitation, including child sexual exploitation (CSE) child criminal exploitation (CCE) modern slavery, human trafficking and criminalisation (including county lines) and those who repeatedly go missing from home. The service deals with medium and high risk referrals, which can be referred into Ivison Trust by statutory and third sector agencies, self-referrals are also welcome.

Ivison Trust also run online webinars to work with low-risk parents/guardians to help them recognise the signs and symptoms of child exploitation.

The PLO service accepts self-referrals or agency referrals. For further information or to self-refer contact Leah Taylforth on email: [email protected] .

Crossroads: Adult Diversion Scheme

Provided by Humankind, the Crossroads Adult Diversion scheme goal is to prevent or intervene early to divert people from the criminal justice process by addressing the underlying causes of their offending behaviour. The overall aims of the Adult Crossroads Diversion scheme are to:

reduce the number of first-time entrants into the Criminal Justice System

reduce re-offending and antisocial behaviour

assess the needs of those on the scheme across the criminogenic pathways and evidence positive progress to address those needs

The Crossroads Adult Diversion scheme works with women and men aged 18 and over to offer trauma-informed support to address underlying causes of offending. Each individual will receive a tailored support package, the intensiveness of which will be responsive to their assessed needs. A dedicated keyworker will be allocated who will provide direct interventions, advocate and signpost into specialist agencies where necessary.

The scheme has 2 elements, a Community-Based Support Scheme and a Pre-Court Diversionary Support Scheme.

Community-Based Support Scheme

A Community-Based Support Scheme, for adult women or men who may be at risk of entering the Criminal Justice System or are known to North Yorkshire Police. The scheme will engage with individuals, at an early stage before criminal behaviour becomes habitual, to improve circumstances for both them and the local community.

Engagement will be on a voluntary basis. The community-based scheme is open to those who are not offending or have been involved in antisocial behaviour or committed very low-level offences. Various agencies may be working with individuals at this stage, and any agency can refer to this element of the scheme.

You can make a referral online. You will be required to enter your email address and then you will be sent an email, click on the appropriate link for the Crossroads Adult Diversion scheme. Once submitted, the referral form will go directly to Humankind who will then make contact with the individual to arrange an appointment.

Referrals can also be made via a referral form and Humankind also welcome self-referrals. To self-refer, request a referral form or for further information contact email: [email protected] , or call telephone: 07939 209087.

Pre-Court Diversionary Support Scheme

A Pre-Court Diversionary Support Scheme, for adult women or men at point of arrest or voluntary attendance at police custody. This is an alternative to prosecution, and if the individual accepts the referral to the Crossroads Adult Diversion scheme, engagement will be mandatory, otherwise the individual may be referred back to North Yorkshire police to face prosecution. Only North Yorkshire Police are able to refer to this element of the scheme.

Adult Sexual Assault Referral Centre - Mountain Healthcare

The Adult Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) provides crisis support and forensic medical services to collect any evidence for all adult victims of rape or sexual assault. The PFCC for North Yorkshire, NHS England, Humberside PCC, South Yorkshire PCC, and West Yorkshire PCC have jointly commissioned a single Regional Adult SARC Service for the Yorkshire and Humberside region. The service is delivered by Mountain Healthcare. Support is available for any victim of rape or sexual assault aged 16 years or over. Support is available for all genders and regardless of sexual orientation. The service offers:

immediate triage, advice and support

specialist one-to-one Crisis Support

forensic medical examination if appropriate to collect any forensic evidence

onward referrals and/or liaison with other agencies and support services as appropriate

Referrals can be made by police officers and other professionals working with victims as well as self-referrals, and support is available whether they want to make a formal report to the police or not.
Contact details:
All referrals are initially screened by a specialist hub worker who will provide immediate advice over the phone and make any onward referrals into our Independent Sexual Violence Adviser service and/or Sexual Health services where required. If appropriate, a forensic medical examination will be carried out by Forensic Nurse Examiners at North Yorkshire's specialist SARC premises where any physical forensic evidence will be collected; if a victim does not wish to report to the police, any forensic samples collected are securely stored for a period of up to 7 years to allow the individual time to consider if they would like to report at a later date.

The services are available 24/7 including Bank Holidays, however examinations are usually booked for daytime weekday hours (9.00am to 5.00pm) wherever possible and in agreement with the victim. Victims from North Yorkshire are able to be seen at any of the three other regional SARC premises.

Child Sexual Assault Assessment Service - Mountain Healthcare

The Child Sexual Assault Assessment Service (CSAAS) provides crisis support and forensic medical services to collect any evidence for all child victims of rape or sexual assault. The PFCC for North Yorkshire and NHS England have jointly commissioned a single CSAAS for North Yorkshire. The service is delivered by Mountain Healthcare. Support is available for all children and young people aged 0 to 16 years who have disclosed sexual abuse or assault, or where it is suspected that it has happened. Older young people up to their 19th birthday may also be seen by the CSAAS if they have additional needs or it is deemed to be clinically appropriate. The service offers:

Referrals can only be made by police officers or Social Workers; it is not a self-referral service.

Both forensic and non-forensic medical examinations will be carried out at North Yorkshire's specialist SARC premises which will include a full detailed clinical history and examination. Young People aged 13 years or over can be seen by specialist Forensic Nurse Examiners 24/7 including Bank Holidays, however examinations are usually booked for daytime weekday hours (9.00am to 5.00pm) wherever possible.

Children aged 12 years or under are seen by specialist Forensic Paediatricians at weekly clinics at North Yorkshire's specialist SARC premises, or West Yorkshire CSAAS premises if an urgent examination is required outside these hours.

Further information regarding Forensic CAMHS is available within the CYSCP One Minute Guide:

Independent Sexual Violence Adviser service - IDAS

Delivered by Independent Domestic Abuse Services (IDAS), support is available for any victim or survivor of all forms of sexual violence or abuse, including historic child sexual abuse. Support is available for all ages and genders, regardless of sexual orientation. The service offers:

The overall objective of the Independent Sexual Violence Adviser (ISVA) service is to enable all victims and survivors of sexual abuse, assault and rape to cope with the immediate impacts of crime and recover from the harm experienced; and reach out to more people to encourage an increase in self-reporting to get the help they need. The aim is for victims and survivors to be able to support themselves independently or through an appropriate peer support network by the end of the provision of support.

Referrals can be made by police officers, SARC or CSAAS and other professionals working with victims and survivors as well as self-referrals, and support is available whether individuals want to make a formal report to the police or not.

Contact details:

A live web chat facility is also available via the IDAS website.

All referrals will initially be reviewed by specialist staff in a centralised referral hub who will complete an initial assessment looking at risk and need, providing triage, immediate advice, support and safety planning as required. For those that require further support, the hub team will refer on to a Lime Culture Accredited ISVA to provide specialist one-to-one support to meet their individual needs.

Yor Sexual Health (YSH) runs a free and confidential counselling service for people of all ages living within York who wish to seek support around different aspects of sexual health. This can be accessed via self-referral or professional referral on the YSH website.

Booking for virtual and face-to-face consultations is via the central booking telephone line: 01904 721111.

A mobile phone text contact point is available for those aged 17 and under, they can text on telephone: 07973 775692 to make an appointment Monday to Thursday 8.15am to 5.00pm, and Friday 8.15am to 3.30pm. This is also advertised on the YSH website for young people.

YSH have reinstated the Young Persons Clinic at York. This is a drop-in clinic every Tuesday from 4.00pm to 6.30pm, specifically for under 18s.

YSH also have a clinical outreach team that complement the face-to-face clinical services. They deliver outreach care for vulnerable and at risk groups within the community facilitated by a professional referral. They provide consistency/ continuation of care to build trust and provide timely support to facilitate sexual health care and attendance at face-to-face clinical services. The online referral process to SCCOT for professionals is via the YSH website:

For those who are HIV positive, YSH offer treatment services. They also offer well being support for carers and for HIV positive individuals via social support groups and one-to-one support. This can be accessed via the YSH website.

Further information and useful links for professionals is available on the professional arm of the YSH website. This includes links to clinical and virtual training that they deliver.

Supporting Victims in North Yorkshire

Supporting Victims is a telephone based service providing support for anyone affected by crime in North Yorkshire, whether reported to the police or not. This includes victims, bereaved relatives, those under 18 with consent, parents or guardians of victims under 18 and members of staff where a business has been a victim of crime.

Individuals can self-refer to Supporting Victims and agencies can make direct referrals.
Contact details:
Supporting Victims is also the Independent Reporting route for victims of hate crime (whether reported to the police or not).

Victims will be asked a few questions to find out how they have been affected by the crime and to identify the support that can be provided. This includes immediate practical and emotional support over the phone; onward referral into specialist services, including those commissioned by the PFCC; and signposting to other support organisations as appropriate. Supporting Victims staff are trained and experienced in helping victims understand what has happened and supporting them to cope with the immediate impact and recover from the harm experienced.

Independent Victim Adviser service - Victim Support

The Independent Victim Adviser (IVA) service is provided by Victim Support. It provides face-to-face support in the community for victims of serious crime, vulnerable, persistently targeted and young victims (excluding sexual or domestic) whether or not they have made a report to North Yorkshire Police. The service provides a range of practical and/or emotional support for victims of in order to help them to cope and recover.

Referrals are made via the Supporting Victims team.
Contact details:
Alternatively, individuals can create a free account on My Support Space - an online resource containing interactive guides to help manage the impact that crime has had.

Youth Commission - Leaders Unlocked

North Yorkshire Youth Commission (NYYC) was established in 2015 with PFCC grant funding. It enables young people aged 14 to 25 to inform decisions about policing and crime prevention in North Yorkshire using a peer-research and engagement approach.

NYYC offers young people the opportunity to influence the work and direction of the PFCC, North Yorkshire Police and associated partners based on the key priorities young people have reported affect them.

These priorities are:

Young People's Relationship with the Police

Hate Crime

Drugs and Alcohol

Abusive Relationships

Missing and Exploitation

Mental Health

Any young people aged 14 to 25 interested in getting involved with the Youth Commission should email: [email protected] .

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York services for children and young people - CYSCP

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There are a number of services in York that are available for Children and Young People in York and their families.

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Understanding and supporting my child's ADHD

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Understanding and supporting my child's ADHD

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An information and resource booklet for parents and carers of children and young people with ADHD

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The Barnardo’s Positive Identities Service provides support to children, young people, families and professionals around sexuality and gender identity.

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The Barnardo's Positive Identities Service provides support to children, young people, families and professionals around sexuality and gender identity. We work with young people who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, and other related identities (LGBT+), those who may be questioning their gender identity and/or sexuality, and their with families and other professionals supporting them, empowering them to support young people with their identity.

We run a variety of different areas of support, including 121 support for young people, support for families, and support for trans parents & carers. We work mostly within North and West Yorkshire, however our online support around gender identity is available to young people, their families and trans parents & carers across the North of England. Please visit our Support section to find out what we have available in your area.

We also offer training to professionals, supporting schools, children and young people's services practitioners and community groups to ensure their organisation is inclusive and accessible to LGBT+ young people, their teams are proactively challenging discrimination and prejudice, and are confident in supporting young people & families around gender identity and sexuality. More information about the training and support we offer to professionals and community groups can be found in our Support for Professionals section.

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Supporting LGBTQ+ children, young people and their families

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The Barnardo's Positive Identities Service provides support to children, young people, families and professionals around sexuality and gender identity. We work with young people who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, and other related identities (LGBT+), those who may be questioning their gender identity and/or sexuality, and their with families and other professionals supporting them, empowering them to support young people with their identity.

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Safeguarding at Woodthorpe Primary School 

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Safeguarding at Woodthorpe Primary School 

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Email: h.elsworth@woodthorpe.elt.org.uk or c.grason-taylor@woodthorpe.elt.org.uk or l.scrowston@woodthorpe.elt.org.uk

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Safeguarding at Scarcroft Primary School

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Safeguarding at Scarcroft Primary School

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Email: jmitchell@scarcroft.southbank.academy, cdickson@scarcroft.southbank.academy or moxley@scarcroft.southbank.academy

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Safeguarding at Knavesmire Primary School

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Safeguarding at Knavesmire Primary School

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Email: acooper@knavesmire.southbank.academy or ggardiner@knavesmire.southbank.academy

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Email: head@carrjunior.southbank.academy or dharrison@carrjunior.co.uk

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What is the drop in?

The drop in is a mixture of an Outreach drop in at community venues and a home drop in at York mind.

Young people have consistently asked for a safe and comfortable space where they can chat to someone about mental health where they don't feel judged, and they can just turn up to even if they don't have an appointment. This drop in will not be a crisis service or a youth club but where a young person can go away feeling like they have been listened to and supported in either a group setting or 1 to 1 with a volunteer or staff member.

At the drop in there will be a mix of staff and of volunteers for you to have a cup of tea and some toast with. Whether you want to play a game with someone whilst having a chat or you want to have a more private conversation in a one to one room. The drop in is a mental health safe space for young people where you can get some advice or someone can just listen to you, its completely up to you and we will try accommodate you.
We wont have all the answers but we are hear to listen and try guide you to what might help you with your mental health.
What is on offer?

A home drop in and an outreach drop in that will allow more young people to access the service

At the home drop in;

1 to 1 rooms if you want a more private conversation

Games and crafts

Tea and toast

Volunteers and staff on hand to help you understand what support there is in York

Group support - Coming soon (a schedule of group activities and support will be available once the service is up and running)

At the " Outreach drop in ", we will offer a casual approach where a member of staff and some volunteers will be there to have a cuppa with , chat to, play a game with but in a setting which you might be more familiar to you if you live in that area. We might talk to you about other support in York if you want to know or talk to you about coping mechanisms but as always, we will be led by you.

Why might someone attend?

They need some guidance about what support is available to them in York

They are on a waiting list and want to have a informal chat with someone in the interim

They need a safe space or some information on how to manage their mental health

The mental health drop in will be for anyone aged 14-21 who might need someone to talk to or someone just to listen. Whether you have accessed support already or wondering what activities and support is in the city.

When and where is it?

Mondays outreach drop in (4-7pm)

First 3 months Acomb Explore library

The home drop in will be at York Mind Highcliffe House

How to access the support?

No referral is needed, just turn up, fill in a short form an come be part of the drop in.

COMING SOON

VIDEO WALK THROUGH - Home and Outreach drop in

Schedule of activities and group support

A what to expect at the drop in guide

How to get to the drop ins

Meet the team profiles

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Mental health drop in support for 14-21 year olds | Yormind

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Mental health drop in support for young people in York. Guiding, signposting and listening to teenagers to to find the right support for them.

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Parent Mental Health Day (PMHD) on 27th January is an awareness day that encourages understanding and awareness of mental health in parents.

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How do I help my child to deal with exam stress?

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How do I help my child to deal with exam stress?

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Messages of stress and pressure can come from many places. It might be something a teacher has said, or a well-meaning comment from relatives or friends. News and social media can also play a part. You child might struggle to cope with feelings of pressure because of these things.

Take time to speak to and observe your child. It can help to:

Ask them how they feel and what's making them feel that way.

Share any concerns you have for how they are - tell them what you've noticed.

Find ways to empathise - reflect on what pressure feels like, or ask how they're looking after themselves.

Don't feel you have to find solutions straight away. Making sure your child knows that you are listening and there to offer support can be a good start.

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How do I help my child deal with exam stress? - Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Exams can feel overwhelming for children and young people. As a parent or carer, you can help them manage feelings of stress

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NHS - Help your child to beat exam stress

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NHS - Help your child to beat exam stress

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Tests and exams can be a challenging part of school life for children and young people and their parents or carers. But there are ways to ease the stress.

Watch for signs of stress

Children and young people who are stressed may:

worry a lot

feel tense

have headaches and stomach pains

not sleep well

be irritable

lose interest in food or eat more than normal

not enjoy activities they previously enjoyed

be negative and have a low mood

feel hopeless about the future

Having someone to talk to about their work can help. Support from a parent, tutor or study buddy can help young people share their worries and keep things in perspective.

Encourage your child to talk to a member of school staff who they feel is supportive. If you think your child is not coping, it may also be helpful for you to talk to their teachers.

Try to involve your child as much as possible.

Make sure your child eats well

A balanced diet is vital for your child's health, and can help them feel well during exam periods.

Some parents find high-fat, high-sugar and high-caffeine foods and drinks, such as energy drinks, cola, sweets, chocolate, burgers and chips, make their children hyperactive, irritable and moody.

Where possible, involve your child in shopping for food and encourage them to choose some healthy snacks.

Read more about eating a balanced diet.

Help your child get enough sleep

Good sleep improves thinking and concentration. Most teenagers need 8 to 10 hours' sleep a night.

Allow half an hour or so for your child to wind down between studying, watching TV or using a computer and going to bed, to help them get a good night's sleep.

Cramming all night before an exam is usually a bad idea. Sleep will benefit your child far more than a few hours of panicky last-minute study.

Be flexible during exams

Be flexible around exam time. When your child is revising all day, do not worry about household jobs left undone or untidy bedrooms.

Staying calm yourself can help. Remember, exams do not last forever.
The Family Lives website has more information about coping with exam stress Health for Teens also has information and advice about how to prepare for exams and deal with exam stress

Help them study

Make sure your child has somewhere comfortable to study. Ask them how you can support them with their revision.

Help them come up with practical ideas that will help them revise, such as drawing up a revision schedule or getting hold of past papers for practice.

To motivate your child, encourage them to think about their goals in life and see how their revision and exams are related to them.

Talk about exam nerves

Remind your child that it's normal to feel anxious. Nervousness is a natural reaction to exams. The key is to put these nerves to positive use.

If anxiety is getting in the way rather than helping, encourage your child to practise the activities they'll be doing on the day of the exam. This will help it feel less scary.

For example, this may involve doing practice papers under exam conditions or seeing the exam hall beforehand. School staff should be able to help with this.

Help your child face their fears and see these activities through, rather than avoiding them.

Encourage them to think about what they know and the time they've already put into studying to help them feel more confident.

Encourage exercise during exams

Exercise can help boost energy levels, clear the mind and relieve stress. It does not matter what it is - walking, cycling, swimming, football and dancing are all effective.

Activities that involve other people can be particularly helpful.

Read more about the physical activity guidelines for children and young people.

Do not add to the pressure

Support group Childline says many children who contact them feel that most pressure at exam time comes from their family.

Listen to your child, give them support and avoid criticism.

Before they go in for a test or exam, be reassuring and positive. Let them know that failing is not the end of the world. If things do not go well they may be able to take the exam again.

After each exam, encourage your child to talk it through with you. Discuss the parts that went well rather than focusing on the questions they found difficult. Then move on and focus on the next test, rather than dwelling on things that cannot be changed.
See Childline's advice on exam stress and pressure

Make time for treats

With your child, think about rewards for doing revision and getting through each exam.

Rewards do not need to be big or expensive. They can include simple things like making their favourite meal or watching TV.

When the exams are over, help your child celebrate by organising an end-of-exams treat.

When to get help

Some young people feel much better when exams are over, but that's not the case for all young people.

Get help if your child's anxiety or low mood is severe, persists and interferes with their everyday life. Seeing a GP is a good place to start.

Read more about anxiety in children.

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Find out how to help your child through the stress of school exams and tests, including what you can do to help them cope with nerves and anxiety, plus advice about diet, sleep and exercise.

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City of York Council vaping and smoking support

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City of York Council vaping and smoking support

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Bereavement support for children and young people

If you feel like the young bereaved person in your care is in need of additional support, a series of one-to-one sessions with a Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Worker could help. Together, they will openly and safely explore the young person's feelings and discover the coping mechanisms that will work for them moving forward.

We also recognise that connecting young people with one another has the power to transform a young person's perspective on grief. Our grief support groups offer young people the opportunity to meet others in similar circumstances, share experiences, reduce feelings of isolation and build connections.

In some cases, and at the discretion of Winston's Wish, group sessions with family members can be arranged to help you all move forward together.

Please note that one-to-one and group support is accessed by referral only. Young people aged 13 or over are encouraged to complete their own referral if appropriate, please feel free to help them with this. If you are submitting a referral on behalf of a young person, someone from Winston's Wish will assess the child or young person's individual circumstances to ensure they receive the right service for them. If it's decided this isn't the right service for them, a member of our team will guide you towards the most appropriate support.

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Help for parents and carers supporting grieving children

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If you're a parent or carer supporting a grieving child or young person, we're here to help with information, on-demand services, bereavement support and counselling.

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Vaping and E-Cigarettes: The facts for Parents and Carers

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Vaping and E-Cigarettes: The facts for Parents and Carers

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Email:

e.masterman@yorkhigh.elt.org.uk

e.crotty@yorkhigh.elt.org.uk

or contact the year group Progress Leaders

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Parenting and Family Support - Family Lives (Parentline Plus) | Family Lives

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Parenting and family support from Family Lives (formerly Parentline Plus) through our website, helpline 0808 800 2222, email service at askus@familylives.org.uk, live chat and local services.

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Email: safeguarding@millthorpe.elt.org.uk

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Latest news

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Get help to work out how much money you owe and which debts you should pay back first.

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Parenting is one of the hardest jobs especially as children don't come with a handbook! We could all do with some additional information and support from time to time. Find out more what parenting support and advice is available in York. You will also find information to support families with the cost of living.

Early Help is a way of describing the extra support a family can receive if they need it. Early help is all about providing the right support to children and families at the earliest possible time; it brings together workers who can support the whole family to try and improve things for everyone. You can find more information at www.york.gov.uk/EarlyHelp

Cost of Living Financial Support for families

Available benefits can include support with Free School Meals, help towards school uniform, council tax support, local housing allowance and housing benefit.

Childcare Choices list the different financial support available to families from toddlers to teens to help with the cost of childcare.

Cost of Living support Get hints, tips, advice, support and much more. The cost of living crisis has made it more important than ever to start conversations about money. Talking about money helps us to be more financially confident, resilient and face whatever the future throws at us.

Energy Efficiency advice learn how to reduce the amount of money you spend on energy and create a warm, healthy home.

Healthy Start Scheme help to buy certain types of milk, infant formula, fruit and vegetables, if you are in receipt of certain benefits or if you are under 18 years old.

Help for Households Government website sets out the different types of support there is available with the cost of living.

Help with Food across York. View community hubs and venues on the Community Food map.

Holiday Activities with Food is available to families in receipt of free school meals. Activities are FREE and are available during the Christmas, Easter and summer school holidays.

Household Support Fund There are 2 routes to apply for the Household Support Fund

Families who have dependent children and entitled benefits based free school meals will have received a letter in November inviting them to apply. Those who have received a letter inviting them to apply for Household Support Fund need to complete you application by Thursday 5 January.

Any one not receiving this letter who is struggling can apply through the discretionary scheme.

NHS exemptions find out if your are eligible for free prescriptions or dental check ups and treatment.

Sure Start Maternity Grant for families who qualify, is a one-off payment of £500 to help towards the costs of having a child.

York Talk Money Worrying about money

The rise in cost of living is on everyone mind. There are three key steps to make sure you are in the best place to meet the extra costs this winter.

Make sure you are getting all the financial support available

If you have received a letter inviting you to apply for HSF please complete you application by Thursday 5 January.

A range of holiday activity schemes will be available for children and young people during the Christmas, Easter and Summer school holidays. Details of events and activities can be found on the Holiday Activities and Food Yor-OK webpage.

Reduce your outgoings

Don't spend more than you have to on your bills, such as mobile phones, broadband, insurance.

See how you can save on your energy bills

Use approved comparison websites

Talk to your existing suppliers about discounts and social tariffs

Find out more at www.LiveWellYork.co.uk/talkmoney

Don't struggle alone

If you are unsure or need assistance with the things above, there is help across the city from council services and other local organisations

Find out

Or pick up a leaflet or ask at your local library, community centre or find information on community notice boards

Bullying

It is not nice to think that your child is being bullied. Bullying is all too common and can happen to anyone at any age. Being bullied at school, home, or online might involve:

verbal bullying e.g. calling you names

emotional bullying e.g. teasing you, talking about you, leaving you out

physical bullying e.g. pushing you, hitting you

cyber-bullying e.g. text message, Facebook, email

Tackling bullying is taken seriously in York. Since 2011, schools in York have been invited to take part in a survey about bullying involving children and young people.

If you feel or know you child is being bullied the first step is to talk to their school.

Each school will have their own policy on behaviour and bullying. Please refer to your child's school website.

As well as talking to an adult at school, children and young people can ring Childline on 0800 11 11 and talk to them about anything that has upset them or makes them worry.

Search for services online or contact York Family Information Serviceor the Young People's Information Service for a tailored list of local and national support services.

Advice and support is also available from a range of websites which can be searched for using our online search.

Safeguarding Concern

Parents/carers, friends or any member of the public can contact the MASH to discuss your concerns.

Phone: 01904 551900

Email: MASH@york.gov.uk

Post: MASH, West Offices, Station Rise, York, YO1 6GA
Outside office hours, at weekends and on public holidays contact the emergency duty team telephone: 01609 780780
PREVENT/Hate Crime

You should report hate crime if you have been a victim of it or witnessed it.

Family Learning and York Learning

Family Learning and York Learning deliver courses, workshops and sessions to support parents and families in York. Courses offered are often linked with children's learning and development and some courses include support with digital skills and technology.

Parents and carers who are more confident and take an active interest in learning themselves act as positive role models for their children. If you want to give your child a good start, or are considering a career working in schools or childcare settings, check out the courses offered by Family Learning and the wider range of courses provided by the York Learning team.

Fostering and Adoption

Fostering is about looking after children in a safe and secure environment when they can't live with their own families.

Following incidents such as family difficulties, illness or drug related problems it is sometimes best for a child to be placed in a foster home.

Private fostering is when someone, who is not a close relative*, cares for another person's child (aged up to 16 (under 18, if disabled)) for 28 days or more. Although this is done by private arrangement, the parent and the carer has a legal obligation to notify the local authority where the child is going to live, so that the local authority can ensure that the child is being looked after properly.

Adoption is the legal process by which a child who cannot be brought up by their own parents legally becomes a full and permanent member of a new family and the adoptive parents gain full parental responsibility of the child.

The Family Rights Group work with parents whose children are in need, at risk or are in the care system and with members of the wider family who are raising children unable to remain at home. They offer a free and confidential telephone and digital advice service providing legal and practical advice to families and much more. Follow the link above to the website or email: office@frg.org.uk or free phone: 0808 801 0366

Online Safety guide

The Internet is part of many people's day to day life and as parents, it's important to understand what children and young people are doing online.

Safer Children York has lots of information to help keep children and young people safe online.

Parenting Courses

Children and young people can face a lot of different challenges throughout their childhood, including growing and changing friendships, the birth of siblings, moving home or school, academic pressures or changing family dynamics.

Parenting courses can help you learn strategies that can help you to support your child to regulate their behaviour and emotions.

York Family Information Service can support you to find courses to increase confidence and receive support when parenting children and young people when these different challenges arise. We have listed the details of some parenting course providers in the city who offer both online and face to face parenting courses in settings.

If you are unsure of which course would be suitable for you, you could contact the providers below to discuss your concerns and they will be able to advise you on which course would be the most appropriate to provide the parenting support you need. Parenting courses can help you learn strategies that can help you to support your child to regulate their behaviour and emotions.

Bright Sparks deliver a range of courses including developing emotional resilience for parents, held at various venues across York. Please visit their website for further information.

Family Matters York deliver a range of parenting and relationship programmes, across York. For further information please visit their website.

Online parenting courses

Netmums Parenting Course - this course has been put together with Family Links. It aims to give parents faith in their own abilities.

Parents Together Online - six interactive blocks filled with helpful techniques and ideas, covering; promoting well being, the power of communication, understanding behaviour, positive behaviour, play, and boundaries.

Parents and carers health and wellbeing

Live Well York provides information on groups and services aimed at York residents aged 18+.

As a parent we can often forget about ourselves and what makes us tick and what support we may need or when looking after older members of our families.

Find out about services, activities and groups for any adult aged 18+ and living in York.

Relationships Matter

All relationships have tricky moments it is how they're experienced and resolved that matters. The Relationships Matter website can give tips on how to improve your relationship, help you work out what needs to happen and signpost you to organisations that can help.

Relationships and sexual health

The Family Planning Association website has tips and advice on how to talk to your child about growing up, relationships and sex.

Safeguarding children and young people

Tackling child sexual exploitation is everyone's responsibility. Safer Child York Partnership's Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation raises awareness about signs of child sexual exploitation and abuse, what to do if you suspect abuse or exploitation and and tips for talking to your children.

Separated Families

There are lots of local and national services to support separated families including child contact matters, further information is below and you can also search for family and parenting support online, using our online search facility.

Child Contact Arrangements

Depending on your circumstances you may be able to arrange contact with the other parent amicably. Where this may not be possible you will need to seek support from elsewhere, here are some services that can help you:

Contact York Citizens Advice and look at the Citizens Advice Factsheet
Gingerbread Child Law Advice - Contact
Child Maintenance

The information which Child Maintenance Options has provided is not a substitute for independent professional advice and users should obtain professional advice relevant to their particular circumstances.

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Information for families and practitioners in York.

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The Internet is a relatively new resource, which has greatly enriched our lives, opening up new and exciting opportunities for learning and communicating around the world. However, the rate of technological advancement has been, and still is, phenomenal. Many professionals, parents and carers find themselves overwhelmed by these developments and, in many cases, the young people they work with, (and their own children) are streets ahead in their knowledge and use of this resource.

The Internet can contain material and websites that are inappropriate for children and young people; promote racial, or other hate ideologies; and, can also provide an opportunity for abusers to target, contact and ultimately abuse children and young people. It is important that professionals are aware of the dangers and are able to direct and support young people and their parents/carers in safe use of Internet based services.

What is Online Abuse?
Online abuse can take many forms:

Content: being exposed to illegal, inappropriate or harmful material; for example pornography, fake news, racist or radical and extremist views;

Contact: being subjected to harmful online interaction with other users; for example commercial advertising, as well as adults posing as children or young adults; and

Conduct: personal online behaviour that increases the likelihood of, or causes, harm; for example making, sending and receiving explicit images, or online bullying.

Children and young people and their parents or carers should be made aware:

of the risks

of ways to keep themselves safe

of how to raise concerns.

Inappropriate websites and material

Whilst using the Internet, it can be very easy to accidentally access websites with adult or illegal content. Also, there can be issues with "spamming", where pop-up adverts or emails can be sent to your computer which are inappropriate for children.

"Cyber bullying"

Young people being teased, perhaps by children from the same school, and sometimes linked to actual assault. This can sometimes take place via chatrooms, emails and by mobile phone texting.

Apps used by paedophiles to contact young people online

***Parents and carers...one to read carefully***

We are raising awareness about 10 less well-known apps and chat tools used by paedophiles to contact young people online.

Worryingly, these apps have featured in a range of recent investigations into child abuse, indecent images of children, sexual communication with a child offences.

Apps such as Whisper and Kik are increasingly featuring in such cases, which require extensive enquiries by the force's Digital Forensics Unit to secure key evidence.

***View the image to become familiar with the app logos***

More information, support and reporting

* Child Exploitation Online Protection command (CEOP) - www.ceop.police.uk/
* NSPCC Helplines: Help for adults concerned about a child - call 0808 800 5000; Help for children and young people - call Childline on 0800 1111; Go to www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/
* Please contact North Yorkshire Police on 101. If you are in immediate danger, always dial 999 for an emergency response
* You can also contact Supporting Victims in North Yorkshire at www.supportingvictims.org or call 01609 643100.

NSPCC Net Aware have also reviewed the most popular apps, games and social media sites your kids are using.

Chatroom contact

Real time interactivity, and the potential anonymity of chatrooms, can make young people vulnerable to the activities of abusers, who may pose as other young people. This can take the form of indecent proposals or sending of indecent images, which can be disturbing and distressing. There have been cases of abusers using chatrooms to "groom" young people and try to set up meetings with them, with the intention of perpetrating abuse.

Internet Safety Checklist

It is important to discuss ground rules for computer use with young people, and to talk about what they have seen and who they have met

Personal information, including real name, age and contact details, should not be given out on websites or in chatrooms

Adults should monitor the services and websites accessed by children in their care, preferably placing computers in more communal areas

Young people should be encouraged and feel able to tell adults about any obscene images and suggestions, or information and contact that has made them uncomfortable

Sexual Abuse Online

The Marie Collins Foundation in partnership with the National Working Group have developed a new resources to support parents/carers with regards to how to respond when it is discovered that a child has been harmed online.

How can I help my child? is a new leaflet to offer help and advice.

Young Persons Social Media Guide

Young people across York have created a Social Media Guide to provide their peers with information and advice about using social media safely. For further information please visit the Young Persons Social Media Guide webpage.

Useful Links

Think U Know - a website aimed at children and young people provided by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre. Contains very useful information about how to stay safe on line.

Childline - a website run by the charity and sponsored by major UK children's' charities aimed at parents and young people.

Net Aware - the NSPCC's guide to the social networks your kids use. Stay up to date and keep your child safe in today's digital world.

Childnet - an interactive safety programme website for schools, young people, parents and agencies.

Internet Watch Foundation - the UK hotline for reporting illegal Internet content.

Safekids - an internet safety resource for children.

Parent Info - provides up-to-date, expert information for parents on a range of concerns they may have about children and young people, which is designed for schools to post on their own website.

UK Safer Internet Centre

Talking with Kids About Being Online - This guide from the Federal Trade Commission covers issues to raise with kids about living their lives online

How to Keep your Children Safe Online - Here you will find internet safety tips, advice and resources to help children and young people stay safe on the internet.

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Information for families and practitioners in York.

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Information for families and practitioners in York.

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A national voluntary organisation and charity dedicated to supporting parents and their lesbian, gay, bisexual and Trans sons and daughters

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Restoring Blue Badge Access

City of York Council are reopening Blue Badge access to the city centre and want to learn from you how to do it better. Take part online or in-person.

Share your views

York Disability Week (YDW) 2023

This year the week runs from 25th November to 3rd December to coincide with tthe United Nations International Day of Persons with Disabilities.

Get involved with YDW 2023

New websites to provide 24/7 support for York families

York families will be able to get information and support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, thanks to the launch of two new websites.

Raise York and York Send

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What we do

Help & advice

Helpful information and guidance on a range of key online safety topics.

The Childnet Film Competition 2024 is open!

Do you know any young people aged 7-18 who are passionate about film? Can they tell a good story, create animation or inspire positive change? Would they like to make a short film about online safety?
Then enter the competition now!

Download brand new interactive resource ReelLife!

An interactive resource to help young people aged 9-14 identify the potential risks of social media.
Check out the resource...

Try out the Childnet Digital Leaders Programme today!

A youth leadership training programme empowering young people to educate their peers about online safety.
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Blog

The latest advice and guidance on key online safety issues, as well as information on the latest apps and games.

Free resources to help you teach about online safety.

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Childnet - Online safety for young people

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Helping make the internet a great and safe place for children and young people.

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Access information and resources for parents and carers on keeping your child safer online including conversation starters and video guides.

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Parents and Carers - UK Safer Internet Centre

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Tips, advice, guides and resources to help keep your child safe online

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Working with online safety experts, we're here to provide parents & carers with guidance, advice and support to keep children safe online | Internet Matters

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Campaigning for change

We fight to change laws to make society safer for children. Our Wild West Web campaign has pushed for new regulations through the Online Safety Bill to make sure websites, apps and games are safe for children to use. But the draft Bill doesn't go far enough to protect children.
Help us end the Wild West Web

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Understanding online safety is tricky for all ages - we have advice and guides to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

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The Mind Set - how can parents help with exam stressed teens?

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If you're worried about how your child is coping with exams at school, here is our advice and information on where you can get help.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

Join our fight for children and young people's mental health. Sign up to the YoungMinds mailing list to receive our monthly e-newsletter, campaign updates, information about events and fundraising and other opportunities to get involved in our work.

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Exams are a stressful time for any young person

Mood swings and outbursts are more likely to occur during this period. Look out for other signs that your child may be struggling, including poor sleep patterns or a change in appetite or behaviour.

It's worth preparing ways of supporting your child during exam weeks and thinking about how you will react and respond on the day if they don't get the result that they, or you, are hoping for.

Things that can help your child in the lead up to exams

Work with your child to find what revision style works for them.

Encourage your child to take revision breaks and find a balance between studying and doing things they find enjoyable and relaxing.

Make sure they are eating and drinking at regular intervals.

Encourage them to take some time after revising to wind down.

Reassure them - reinforce that you are and will be proud of them no matter what happens.

Remain positive and hopeful!

Plan a treat or an activity together to mark the end of the exams.

Set aside one to one time so that they can talk to you about any worries.

Let them know their feelings are valid and normal, but also offer support and solutions where possible.

Anxiety is often worst at night and this means it is useful to encourage a good bedtime routine.

Work with them to develop relaxation techniques.

If anxiety and stress start impacting their day-to-day life, seek help from your GP.

Helping your child to plan a realistic revision timetable, which breaks the days and subjects down into manageable chunks, will reduce their anxiety by increasing their sense of control and confidence.

How to help your child manage exam stress

How the school can support you

Speak to your child's teacher(s) to find out what revision techniques they recommend.

If your child is struggling with a specific subject, talk to the relevant teacher and explore whether they can provide additional help.

Find out if the school has learning mentors that can help with practical steps including revision timetables.

If your child has additional learning or developmental needs, speak to the school SENCO and establish what specialist provision they can put in place.

Exam Stress - Roundup | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

How to manage a 'disappointing' exam results day

If your child is unhappy with their exam results it can be tough to deal with. Here are some things that can help:

If your child is happy to show you their results statement, you might find it helpful to have a look, just in case they have misread or misunderstood, or overlooked something.

Accept their feelings, whatever they are - disappointment, anger, embarrassment, bravado. Their feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Don't offer immediate judgement, or solutions, or even reassurance - there will be plenty of time for conversations later.

Reflect back how they are feeling to show you have understood, for example, "I can see you're disappointed with the Maths result."

Let them know you love them through highs and lows. Big hugs are good (although probably very embarrassing in public).

Show you're on their side - it could be something small like getting their favourite snack.

Give yourself some breathing space and time to reflect.

Ask the school to help your child explore any possible next steps, such as re-takes, re-marking or alternative courses.

If your child is disappointed with their results, they might also be embarrassed. Agree with your child how they want their results discussed with family and friends, if at all.

You might also find this helpful:

Where to get further help

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Help us improve our content

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Exam Time & Exam Stress | Parents Guide To Support

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Exams are a stressful time for any young person, if you're worried about how your child is coping read our tips and advice on how to help.

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We are temporarily closed for new referrals

About the Service

How can this help me?

A counsellor will be matched with you after an assessment has been carried out. Your counsellor will listen to you non-judgmentally and will support you to learn more about your feelings and emotions. They can help you in identifying strategies and tools to imp rove your overall mental health.

Who can access this service?

Cost

York Mind aims to provide affordable counselling to adults who need our help. We operate a sliding scale of charges, ranging from £10 per session, up to £30 per session, depending on individual circumstances. Fees will be discussed with you in more detail your during your initial telephone assessment.

Referring In

We aim to be in touch within two weeks of receiving your referral.

What will Happen Next?

Once you have submitted a referral, you will be contacted by the counselling team who will arrange a telephone asse ssment with you. The assessment will establish your reasons for requesting counselling support and whether it is the appropriate service for you. After the assessment, y ou will be matched with a counsellor and your counselling journey commences .
Contact Information

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We are temporarily closed for new referrals A counsellor will be matched with you after an assessment has been carried out. Your counsellor will listen to you non-judgmentally and will support you to learn more about your feelings and emotions. They can help you in identifying strategies and tools to imp rove your overall mental health.

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Parent Talk - down-to-earth parenting advice you can trust

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We're on hand to support parents, when they need us. Find answers to your questions in our advice articles, or speak to one of our parenting coaches.

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Relate offers counselling services for every type of relationship nationwide. We provide advice on marriage, LGBT issues, divorce and parenting.

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Kyra Women’s Project – Helping Women in & Around York

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Kyra Women’s Project are a registered charity in York that exists to help local women make positive change in their lives.

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Many parents find their teenager's behaviour challenging.

Teenagers' behaviour can be baffling, stressful, hurtful and often worrying. But in most cases it does not mean there is anything more serious going on than the natural process of becoming an adult.

Many of the common behaviour issues that parents find hard are an essential part of puberty and growing up.

Surges of hormones, combined with body changes, struggling to find an identity, pressures from friends and a developing sense of independence, mean the teenage years are a confusing time for your child.

It can mean they, for example:

become aloof

want more time alone or with friends

feel misunderstood

reject your attempts to talk or show affection

appear sullen and moody

Read more about the possible signs of a problem in your teenager.

Your feelings about your teen's behaviour

Teenagers can challenge even the calmest of parents. When you have further pressures in your life, such as other children, work, relationships, family commitments or illness, it can feel as though your teenager is going to push you over the edge.

Try to step back from the situation, and remember your child or young person may have physiological reasons for behaving in ways that can be difficult to live with. They're probably not enjoying it either.

You're the adult and you will feel that it's your responsibility to guide them through the difficult times, but that is not always easy. Do not expect to enjoy your time with them all of the time, and remember to look after yourself.

How do I cope with the stress?

Parenting a teenager can be exhausting, so it's important to look after yourself, too.

Family Lives, a charity dedicated to helping families, offers the following advice:

make sure you set aside time for yourself

give yourself permission to relax or even treat yourself occasionally

talk about your concerns to your partner or friends, or join a support group or forum

learn techniques for coping with low mood, sadness and depression or anxiety. If you're concerned that you're depressed, anxious or stressed, talk to a GP

How should I act with my teenager?

Teenagers can be largely emotional rather than logical because of their hormones. It is not necessarily pleasant for them, and it can even feel frightening.

Although it might be hard for you, they need you to maintain a calm consistent presence.

Follow these tips:

decide what the boundaries are and stick to them - teenagers may object to these but know they're a sign that you care about them

listen to them when they do want to talk and try not to interrupt until they've finished speaking

allow them to learn from their own mistakes - as long as they are safe - and accept they might do things differently to you

do not bottle up your concerns - if you're worried your teenager may be having unprotected sex or using drugs, try talking calmly and direct them to useful information

allow them to have their own space and privacy

The Young Minds website has more information about parenting that covers many of these subjects.

Where can I find more information and support?

If you're concerned about the physical or mental health of your child or young person it may be a good idea to speak to a GP.

You can also read more about children and young people's mental health services (CYPMHS).

There are also several organisations that provide emotional support and practical advice. You could try:

Family Lives is a charity specialising in supporting families. You can call their confidential helpline on 0808 800 2222 (9am to 9pm Monday to Friday, 10am to 3pm Saturday to Sunday). You can also visit the Family Lives forum

Relate offers relationship advice and counselling. You can also use Live Chat to talk to a counsellor

Young Minds, the mental health charity, has a confidential parents' helpline. Call them on 0808 802 5544 (9.30am to 4pm Monday to Friday)

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Information and advice for parents on dealing with their teenager, including what changes children go through in their teenage years, and how to deal with challenging teenage behaviour.

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Are you worried about someone you know?

If you're concerned that a family member or friend might have an eating disorder, it can be difficult to raise the issue with them. You may worry you'll say the wrong thing, that it's none of your business, or that you'll offend the person. Remember eating disorders are serious mental illnesses and are not the person's fault.

Often people with eating disorders deny or don't realise there's a problem, but that doesn't mean they're not ill. Eating disorders thrive on secrecy, and countless people who are in recovery agree that breaking the silence is the right thing to do, even if they didn't feel that way at the time. The sooner someone can get treatment, the greater their chance of a full and sustained recovery.

Here are some things you can do when talking to someone you're worried about:

Think about what you want to say and make sure you feel informed. You can read about the symptoms of eating disorders or take a look at our booklet: "Eating disorders: a guide for friends and family".

Choose a place where you both feel safe and won't be disturbed. If you're one of several people who have felt concerned, don't talk to the person together as they may feel you're ambushing them. Decide who they are most likely to open up to.

Choose a time when neither of you feels angry or upset. Avoid any time just before or after meals.

Have some information with you that you can refer to if you're able to. You could share it with them, or leave it with them to look at by themselves.

Try not to centre the conversation around food and/or weight. While it may be necessary to bring this up to explain why you're worried, these may be things they're particularly sensitive about. At their roots, eating disorders are about what the person is feeling rather than how they're treating food.

Mention things that have concerned you, but try to avoid listing too many things as they may feel like they have been "watched".

Try not to back them into a corner or use language that could feel accusatory. "I wondered if you'd like to talk about how you're feeling" is a gentler approach than "You need to get help", for example.

They may be angry and defensive. Try to avoid getting angry in response, and don't be disheartened or put off. Reassure them that you'll be there when they're ready, and that your concern is their wellbeing.

Don't wait too long before approaching them again. It might feel even harder than the first conversation, especially if they didn't react well, but if you're still worried, keeping quiet about it won't help. Remember, eating disorders thrive on secrecy.

If they acknowledge that they need help, encourage them to seek it as quickly as possible. Offer to go with them to the GP if they would find that helpful.

If they tell you there's nothing wrong, even if they seem convincing, keep an eye on them and keep in mind that they may be ill even if they don't realise it. Denial that there's a problem is common - in the case of anorexia, it's considered a symptom of the illness. You were worried for a reason, so trust your judgement.

If you need some support, visit our support services page for details on how to get in touch.

Below are some specific situations that you might encounter or be worried about during conversations with someone who has an eating disorder, and guidance about how to respond in a positive and encouraging way.

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Worried about a friend or family member - Beat

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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Parenting with mental health problems

Parenting comes with lots of challenges, which can be even more difficult if you're dealing with mental health problems.

Not all children who live with someone with mental health problems will experience abuse or be affected negatively. In fact, many parents are able to give children safe and loving care.

But sometimes it does affect their ability to cope with family life. So it's important that parents and carers can find support when they need it.

What are mental health problems?

When we talk about mental health problems we mean conditions like:

anxiety disorders

bipolar disorder

depression

obsessive-compulsive disorder

personality disorders

post-traumatic stress disorder

schizophrenia.

This is not a complete list. There are many types of mental health problems, and if yours isn't listed, we're still here to support you.

How can mental health problems affect parenting?

Sometimes these conditions can affect a parent's ability to provide the care that children need. Parents or carers may:

have mood swings

find it difficult to recognise their children's needs

or struggle with keeping routines such as mealtimes, bedtimes and taking their children to school.

If you, or someone you know is struggling, there's support available.

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Help and advice for parents and families living with mental health problems.

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The York Family Information Service is a free and impartial information service for parents and carers of children and young people aged 0-19 (or up to 25 for disabled children).

We can help with anything and everything around family life and being a young person. If you're a parent or carer and have a question but don't know where to go, then please get in touch.

How to get in touch with us

Tel: Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm 01904 554444

Social Media: You can follow us onto keep up to date with all the latest family based 'need to know' information for York!

Website: Complete the contact us form

Use our online search facility to search for services and childcare for children, families and young people. We can provide you with a list of tailored services and childcare . Get in touch if you would like a list.

What do parents, carers, young people and practitioners think about our service?

In 2022, 100% of those who completed a service evaluation told us they thought the Information Service was Good or Very Good.

Over the last 3 years our satisfaction rating is 95.8%.

Free newsletter

There are lots of things you're automatically expected to know as a parent. Our newsletter means we send you important information about family life that we hope will help you.

We don't use adverts, just useful information when you need it. Sign up to receive the FIS Newsletter.

When it comes to choosing childcare there are lots of options to think about. The York FIS has information about all Ofsted registered childcare in and around York. We can provide you with tailored information and talk you through different ways of reducing your childcare costs.

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Family Information Service: help and advice for children, young people, families, parents and carers in York.

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Tees Esk and Wear Valley NHS Foundation Trust

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The following information is for adults over the age of 18.

There are times when our freephone crisis service receives lots of calls and although we are trying our hardest, it may take us longer to get to you. This webpage gives more information around other organisations you can talk to and what to do if there is an immediate risk to life.

If you are feeling low, sad or worried but are not experiencing a mental health crisis, there is a range of mental health support you may wish to consider. We are here for you, whenever you feel ready.
Other mental health support
Dealing with a mental health crisis

If you experience mental health problems, it can be frightening and you may feel alone. If this is a new experience, you may not know what is happening.

If a person's mental or emotional state gets worse quickly, this can be referred to as a mental health crisis or a mental health emergency.

A mental health crisis often means that you no longer feel able to cope or be in control of your situation. You may feel many things (although this may be different for individuals) including emotional distress or anxiety, that you can't cope with day-to-day life or work, you might think about suicide or self-harm, or you might experience hallucinations and hear voices.

A crisis can also be the result of an underlying medical condition, such as confusion or delusions caused by an infection, overdose, illicit drugs or intoxication with alcohol. Confusion may also be associated with dementia.

You might be in crisis if:

you are thinking of hurting yourself or suicide seems the only option

you are experiencing extreme distress that seems overwhelming, which may relate to current/past trauma

you are experiencing psychotic episodes (loss of sense of reality, hallucinations, hearing voices) and / or other behaviour that seems out of control or irrational and that is likely to endanger the person or others.

In a crisis situation, there are several different avenues that you can take. It is important however to get help quickly. Whether you experience a sudden deterioration of an existing mental health problem, or are experiencing problems for the first time, you'll need immediate expert assessment to identify the best course of action and stop you getting worse.

People already receiving treatment/help for mental ill health

If you are already receiving treatment and support for your mental health from a community mental health team, the first point of contact should be with the team and your care coordinator / named worker.

If you have previously had similar symptoms then you might find it useful to think about what helped you cope before.

Your care plan and / or a crisis and safety plan will identify what you (and others) can do to help along with details of who to contact in an emergency and outside of the teams operational hours.

It's best to seek help from professionals that know you well as they can help support you better.

If you are worried about your own safety, being close to acting on suicidal thoughts contact your local crisis team and home treatment team, tell someone who you trust or call a local support line immediately.

If you, or someone you know, are in immediate danger of serious harm (for example, if someone has taken an overdose) and you need immediate medical help Tel. 999.

If there is a risk of physical violence, or if you are at risk of self-harm or of causing harm to someone else, it may be necessary to contact the police directly by calling 999.

In a medical emergency call 999 if you, or someone you know, are seriously ill or injured.

Give as much information as possible to the 999 operator and be as clear as you can when giving your address and telephone number.

Our crisis and home treatment teams work closely with the acute hospitals/accident and emergency departments to make sure that you can be treated for a mental health illness where needed.

If you aren't already under the care of mental health services or if you experience a mental health crisis out of hours phone your GP surgery and ask for an emergency appointment or call back. If you phone and the surgery is closed there should be a recorded message giving you an emergency contact number to call.

Alternatively, you can contact your local mental health crisis team. For people living in County Durham, Darlington, Teesside, North Yorkshire and York the number is 0800 0516 171.

Injuries or other physical health problems

If you or someone you know has injured themselves or is experiencing another physical health problem which your GP or urgent care service cannot address, then please go to the accident and emergency department.

Call NHS 111 if you urgently need medical help or advice, but it's not a life-threatening situation. NHS 111 is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Calls are free from landlines and mobile phones.

Telephone: 111

Text phone: 18001 111

If you need someone to talk to

If you want to call someone about how you feel or how to deal with someone else's behaviour, you could contact one of the following helplines for immediate assistance.

These helplines have specially trained volunteers who'll listen to you, understand what you're going through and help you through the immediate crisis.

Samaritans

Telephone: 116 123 (free to call service open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for people who want to talk in confidence)

Email: jo@samaritans.org

SANEline

Telephone: 0300 304 7000

NHS choices

The NHS website has some useful information, advice and support.

Careline

Telephone: 0845 122 8622 (Monday - Friday, 10am-1pm and 7pm-10pm)

MIND

Telephone: 0845 766 0163 (Monday - Friday, 9am-5pm)

Every mind matters
NHS - Every Mind Matters
You can also text SHOUT to 85258.

There may also be local crisis café's in your area that could support you - www.nhs.uk is a good place to find information.

Recovery College Online

The Recovery College Online, provides a range of free online mental health educational courses and resources. The content of the site has been developed by people with experience of mental illness
L991, V10, 23/06/2023 (Archive: 23/06/2026)

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What to do in a mental health crisis - Tees Esk and Wear Valley NHS Foundation Trust

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Information for adults who are experiencing a mental health crisis. Please get in touch if you are in a crisis. We are here for you. Call us.

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York Mind's wide range of services help individuals as they recover from a variety of mental health conditions.

York Mind is a leading local provider of services supporting individuals recovering from mental ill-health to achieve outcomes that will progress them towards recovery, social inclusion and integration in mainstream activity such as learning, volunteering or employment.

We believe that the condition does not define the individual. To that end, we campaign to raise awareness of mental ill health and combat the stigma surrounding mental health conditions. York Mind aims to be an inclusive and accessible organisation, emphasising the importance of acceptance and tolerance of the beliefs, opinions and wishes of our clients.

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York Mind is a leading local provider of services supporting individuals recovering from mental ill-health to achieve outcomes that will progress them towards recovery, social inclusion and integration in mainstream activity such as learning, volunteering or employment. We believe that the condition does not define the individual.

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Are you feeling distressed, frightened, overwhelmed, or that things are too much for you?
Don't know where to turn to get mental health support?
Are your usual sources of support closed for the night?

Phone: 07483 141 310.
Email: [email protected]
Opening hours: Monday to Friday 6pm-10pm and Saturday-Sunday 2pm -10pm.
Address: 30 Clarence Street, York, YO31 7EW (Opposite the Union Terrace Coach Park, next to York St. John University)

Calls and emails will be monitored by staff during Safe Haven opening hours. You may call and leave a message, or send an email, at any other time of day, and these will be picked up and responded to as soon as possible during opening hours.

What can you expect from us:

This is a walk-in service - there's no need to be referred by your GP or Care Coordinator. The Haven @ 30 Clarence Street offers a welcoming, safe, comfortable, non-judgmental and non-clinical environment. At the Haven, we will be able to provide information and emotional support if you are in crisis or feel you are heading towards a crisis situation.

You can come just for a chat, or you can access one-to-one emotional support from trained mental health professionals. We also offer virtual support via video call.

We also offer help in creating staying well and crisis plans, and support visitors to access other services and organisations that may be useful to them.

We work closely with GPs, Community Mental Health Teams, Crisis Teams, A&E Mental Health Liaison Teams, Police and Ambulance Services, Street Triage, and other front-line healthcare professionals to ensure that people in emotional distress have a safe, supportive Haven to go to, with appropriate mental health support available.

People using The Haven will also be supported by our 24/7 helpline, which offers access to emotional support and information even when The Haven is closed.

Who is this service for?

Anyone aged 16 and over who is experiencing a mental health crisis, is in distress, or their carers, can come to The Haven - you don't need a formal referral or appointment.

Please note: York Safe Haven is not suitable for people needing urgent medical attention (for example, after self-harm) - for urgent medical care please attend your nearest A&E or call 999.
Please also be aware that, for the safety and wellbeing of others using the service, York Safe Haven cannot accept people who are very intoxicated, aggressive or abusive.

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The Safe Haven offers out-of-hours mental health support to anyone aged 16+ in the York and Selby area.

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The York Families Wellbeing team provides community-based support to families within the City of York area. The service supports families to overcome any issues which may have a negative impact on their children's wellbeing.

We work with families whose resident children are aged 0-19 years old, or 0-25 years old where the child has a disability. We welcome the opportunity to support families for whom English is not their first language and will engage language or British Sign Language (BSL) interpreters to make our service accessible to as many people as possible. Families who may have mental health needs, autism or learning disabilities are also very welcome.

Our service can help with the following:

Preventing homelessness

Debt and budgeting

Discrimination

Anti-social behaviour

Accessing the correct benefits

Accessing training, education and employment

Social isolation

Accessing support for historic or domestic abuse

Accessing physical/mental health support

Accessing support for substance abuse

Accessing support around autism or learning disabilities

We work with each family in a trauma-informed way to understand their individual needs and help them to achieve their goals. We can also support families to access help for children, where needed, and work in partnership with schools, Health Visitors, Early Help and Children's Social Care to do this.
Aims of the service
Our aim is to enable every child to be happy, resilient and safe within their family home and the wider community. We do this by supporting and enabling parents and carers to meet their own and their children's day-to-day housing, financial and wellbeing needs.

We support families to develop the confidence to move their lives in positive directions and to meet their personal goals. We do this by building trust, working creatively and encouraging personal growth. Our ultimate aim is to create strong and independent families who are able to manage their lives successfully and confidently on their own.

We are open five days a week: Monday - Thursday 9.00am to 5.00pm, Friday 9.00am to 4.30pm.
Referrals
If you would like to access support for your family you can self-refer by contacting Ginny Barker, Team Leader, via:

Email: ginny.barker@commlinks.co.uk
Tel: 07391 868741

If you are a professional wishing to refer a family, this can be done by completing a Single Access Point (SAP) referral form which can be accessed using this link:
https://www.york.gov.uk/form/SAPReferralForm Other contacts
Team Leader - Ginny Barker - 01904 552816

Operations Manager - Lisa Simpson - 07793525660

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York Families Wellbeing service | Community Links

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The Community Links York Families Wellbeing service provides flexible, supportive, responsive housing support to families in the York community

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The relationships we have with the people we love enrich our lives, but they're not always easy. We are here to tell you that you're not alone and that there is help! We believe that through small steps for change, the relationships with our partners and children can really thrive. Find out how we can help you here.

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Here to support, equip and encourage you to make small steps for change in your family relationships.

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The Trussell Trust runs the largest network of food banks in the UK, giving emergency food and support to people in crisis. Fourteen million people live below the poverty line and in the last year close to 3 million emergency food parcels were distributed to people in crisis.

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Are you concerned about a child or would you like advice on accessing help for your own family?

Safeguarding is Everyone's Business. If you have a concerns about a child, don't ignore it, report it.

Would you know what do do if a child discloses a safeguarding concern to you? We have produced useful guidance on dealing with a disclosure to help assist you.

There are a number of different types of child abuse.

The CYSCP Child Abuse - definitions and signs page has useful information which may help you if you are unsure.

Allegations against childcare professionals - advice

The CYSCP have produced guidance to give an explanation of the process, along with information about appropriate support and guidance that will be followed if you are faced with an allegation of abuse.

Advice and Guidance on Child Protection Conferences

The links below are designed to provide parents with advice when attending child protection conference.
Child Protection Conferences - a guide for parents Supporting a parent at a conference Understanding the terms used Making a complaint about a conference
CYSCP Coronavirus page - Parents and Carers

The Parents and Carers Coronavirus page contains useful resources in one place.

Children's Clubs

If your child or a child you care for is joining an activity club, you may have some safeguarding questions for them. Attached are some examples of the types of questions you may wish to ask.

The NSPCC also has advice on what to look for in a children's sports club.

Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is more than just violence

Domestic abuse is more than just violence and is defined by the Government as '...any violence between current or former partners in an intimate relationship, wherever and whenever the violence occurs. The violence may include physical, sexual, emotional or financial abuse'

Children are affected by domestic abuse even when they have not been physically hurt.

The research shows that 90% of children living in a domestic abusive household witness abuse directly or are in the next room. Although there is always the risk of a child being physically harmed by getting caught up in the parental/carers violence, it recognised that witnessing domestic abuse also harms children.

Children who experience domestic abuse are affected by the fear and distress of their parents. Although they may not always show signs of upset their confidence and self-esteem may be affected and they can develop problems in their educational, physical, and emotional development.

Protecting children from the harm of domestic abuse means taking action to protect yourself. You may worry that seeking help means your children will be taken into care. This is very rare and only happens in the most serious cases. Try talking to your children about how they feel, you may be suprised.

Domestic abuse is never the fault of the victim!
If you are an adult experiencing domestic abuse you may feel confused by a mix of feelings including, isolation, fear, guilt and a belief that the abuse in some way is your fault. You may also feel that you can change the person who is being abusive or that if you change something you are doing the abuse will stop.

The responsibility for domestic abuse rests 100% with the abuser and in our experience domestic abuse when action is taken to stop the abuse. Sometimes this can happen when the abuser recognises that what they are doing is wrong and take real steps to change but importantly they cannot do it with specialist help. Often abuse will only stop when the victims takes steps to remove themselves from the abuse.

Taking action to stop abuse is not easy and maybe one of the most difficult decisions you have had to make. You may fear the loss of your home, income, and friends or may still feel that you love the person who is harming you. You may also fear what will happen if you decide to leave or tell someone about what is happening. Remember - you are not alone and these feelings are normal.

If you are being affected by domestic abuse - seek help

If you are affected by domestic abuse, either as a child, a victim, or a perpetrator, you are not alone and there are services, in York and nationally, that can help. Please contact any of the services listed on the Domestic Abuse resources page for help.

Educating your child at home - Elective Home Education

If you are considering educating your child at home then this leaflet produced by City of York Council may assist with any queries or questions you may have.
Worried about your child?
Exploitation

Child sexual exploitation can be hard to detect and abusers are very clever in their manipulation. Some young people won't even be aware that it is happening to them.

It's not always easy to know what our children are up to or if anything is bothering them, but any combination of these tell-tale signs is a strong indicator that something is wrong and you shouldget help.
Teach them

Bruising on their arms or body

Regularly using drugs or drinking alcohol

Mood swings, aggression towards others

Truancy or a drop in performance at school

Self-harm - e.g. cutting or eating disorders

Change in appearance, or borrowing clothes from others

Always tired

Unexplained relationships with older people

Staying out late, not returning home

They have unexplained gifts, expensive clothes, mobile phones

Unexplained money, frequently taking part in activities requiring money

PACE - Parents against child sexual exploitation
Teach your children about healthy relationships. Talk through strategies to help them protect themselves if they find themselves in difficult situations. Help them learn how tokeep safe.

Pace works alongside parents and carers of children who are - or are at risk of being - sexually exploited by perpetrators external to the family. They offer guidance and training to professionals on how child sexual exploitation affects the whole family.
Talk PANTS and you've got it covered
It's not okay - Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation is NEVER okay. For support or if you're concerned that a child has been sexually abused please contact the NSPCC 24 hour helpline Tel: 0808 800 5000 or email: help@nspcc.org.uk. If a child is at immediate risk of harm call 999.

Privates are private

Always remember your body belongs to you

No means no

Talk about secrets that upset you

Speak up, someone can help

The campaign took place during 2015/16 as a joint initiative between CYSCP, NSPCC and York St John University to raise awareness of Child Sexual Abuse and Child Sexual Exploitation across the city with public and professionals. The materials created during the campaign are still used in schools and the campaign was nationally acclaimed. The It's Not Ok play and workshop have now been turned into new digital resources for secondary schools, community groups and practitioners. You can find the free resources here:

There is more advice with regards to Exploitation available on the Children and Young People's webpage which includes information on how to 'get help' and how to help 'keep them safe' and the Professionals webpage.

Internet Safety and staying safe online

The Internet can contain material and websites that are inappropriate for children and young people; promote racial, or other hate ideologies; and, can also provide an opportunity for abusers to target, contact and ultimately abuse children and young people. It is important that professionals are aware of the dangers and are able to direct and support young people and their parents/carers in safe use of Internet based services.

Please visit the Internet Safety webpage and Staying Safe Online - Young Persons Social Media Guide for further information.

Looking after someone else's child?

Is your child living with another family?

Is another family's child living with you?

This is called Private Fostering. Private Fostering is a private arrangement made by a child's parent (or someone with parental responsibility) for the child to live with someone who is not a close relative (grandparent, sibling, biological uncle or aunt, or step-parent by marriage or civil partnership. The Local Authority need to be made aware of these arrangements.

Parental Separation and Divorce

Many children in Britain will experience the separation and divorce of their parents by the time they are 16.

When the parents' relationship breaks down, it is usually painful for everyone in the family. It's very important to try to minimise the stress and bitterness that can result, particularly when children are involved. It is easy for parents to be so distracted by their own feelings about the situation that they lose sight of how it may be affecting their children.

Research shows that the children of parents that separate can experience poorer outcomes than other children. However, some of the difficulties can be offset by the way parents deal with the separation.

Good, continuing communication and contact between children and both parents appear especially important in assisting children to adapt. Clear explanations about 'what' is happening and 'why' can help, as can reassurance for younger children that they are not being abandoned and that a parent can still be a parent even if he/she leaves the home to live elsewhere. (Joseph Rowntree Foundation)

Importantly, although experiencing a parental separation can be very upsetting for children, parents can help prevent the experience being traumatic for their children.

So what is meant by trauma?

Traumatic stress is brought about when children cannot adequately express what they are feeling about what is happening for them. Children may often feel anger or fear but are unable to talk about their feelings to either parent maybe because of a divided loyalty or a belief that they won't be listened to. It is this sense of powerlessness along with the often on going acrimony between their parents that can lead to traumatic stress.

Trauma is determined by the child's experience of the event, not simply the event itself. Different children in the same family may have a dramatically different emotional reaction to the numerous changes related to divorce. Your attitude shapes your children's attitude. Your words and actions can either expose your children to unnecessary emotional pain or help them develop in positive ways. (Helpguide.com)

Parental separation is like bereavement and children often find it difficult to cope with the strong emotions that arise from such a loss.

Symptoms of distress following a parental break up can include:
*Anger
*Anxiety
*Aggression
*Bedwetting
*Behavioural problems
*Bullying
*Lack of concentration
*Depression
*Falling out with friends
*Low self esteem
*Guilt (thinking it is their fault)
*Increased dependency
*Minor health problems

What can you do?

Advice is always easier to give than to take, especially in the case of a difficult separation. However, the one thing most parents have in common is the love for their children and in not wishing anything to upset and harm them. You may having extremely strong negative and confused feelings towards your ex partner - anger, jealousy, sadness, each of which can feel overwhelming, but it is important to remember that these are your feelings and not those of your child.

Interviews with children around the time of separation show that most wish their parents had stayed together and hope they will get back together. They are likely, in the short term, to experience unhappiness, low self-esteem, problems with behaviour and friendships, and loss of contact with a significant part of their extended family. (Joseph Rowntree Foundation)

Children love both parents and, as the research shows, may wish their parents had stayed together. Making children chose by being negative about your ex partner or expecting them to take sides can cause long term damage. Try and put yourself in their position - the two people you love most in the world, the two people who have been your world, want you to take sides - how would you feel? If you add the fact that children cannot assert themselves like adults and do not easily understand what is happening, you can start to see that they are in a 'no win' situation.

The answer then is to remain focussed on what is in your child's best interest and try not to:
*Argue with your ex partner in front of your children or on the phone.
*Talk with your children about details of your ex partner's negative behaviour.
*Expect your children to take sides or talk negatively about the other parent
*Use you child as a 'go between' or use them as the only means of communication with your ex partner

Parents need to communicate

Ideally, children need both parents and separation when you have children means that there will always be a link to your ex partner through your children. In such circumstances, parents have a choice - you can either maintain the acrimony, with the risks to your children's and your mental health, or you can find a way of communicating, albeit about the decisions you both need to make about your children.

Remember, help is available (see the links below):

Family mediation is a way of resolving disputes after separation or divorce. In mediation, couples are helped to look for their own solutions to their disputes.

Family mediation is also increasingly being used to solve other types of family problems, such as disputes between a parent and child.

Both parties explain their concerns and needs to each other in the presence of a qualified family mediator. The mediator is impartial, which means that they are not on anyone's side. They are there help both parties, unlike a solicitor who only works for one party in each case. Sometimes the mediator will suggest a way of solving a problem to help them to reach an agreement acceptable to both, but they will never tell either party what to do.

The mediator can give information about law but cannot give anyone advice about what to do. We would recommend that you go to see a solicitor who can give legal advice. The solicitor can help you before, in between sessions and when agreement has been reached so that you know that whatever agreed to is fair to you.

Relate - Relate for Parents puts the emphasis on the children. If you and your partner are separating Relate can help you to deal with the process positively and learn how best to help the children through the experience. It can help you shield them from negative emotions and plan important contact with the parent who is no longer at home.

Counselling - can take many forms and can be provided to both parents (as with Relate) or individually. Sometimes, the feelings experienced during and following a separation can feel overwhelming and disabling:

*What did I do wrong?
*What's the point in going on?
*What's wrong with me?

These feelings can affect your job, your social life and can get in the way of being the parent you want to be. If this is how you feel you may want someone to talk to who will listen, someone who will not make judgments about you. This is where counseling can help.

If you would like more advice on how to safeguard children when dealing with separation and divorce please click on the following links:

NSPCC Children and parental separation
Relateline 0845 130 4010 (Monday - Friday, 9.30am-4.30pm) Telephone helpline service from Relate. Users can talk to an experienced Relate counsellor for up to 20 minutes and all calls are confidential.
Parentline 0808 000 2222 Free, confidential 24-hour helpline for parents and carers.
Helpguide - a free resource for a range of health issues with useful advice for parents experiencing separation (American)

Useful child safeguarding links

The Parents and Carers links webpage contains useful links to other websites and information.

Parent Info provides support and advice to parents, with contributions from the leading experts and organisations in matters related to young people and families in a digital world.

ICON: The 'Babes Cry, You Can Cope' programme

ICON - Babies Cry, You Can Cope programme supports parents and carers manage normal infant crying and to prevent abusive head trauma injuries to babies caused by shaking, also referred to as 'shaken baby syndrome'.

ICON is an evidenced-based programme designed to help parents and carers understand the normal crying pattern of young infants and to help them develop successful coping mechanisms to deal with this.

The ICON programme delivers four simple messages before the birth and in the first few months of a baby's life:

I - Infant crying is normal;

C - Comforting methods can help;

O - It's OK to walk away;

N - Never, ever shake a baby.

These ICON messages have been demonstrated to help parents and carers manage the stresses which can be caused by normal infant crying. Midwives, Health Visitors and other professionals across the region have developed ICON expertise to help give parents and carers the tools they need to help keep their babies safe.

The North Yorkshire and York ICON programme is funded and supported by local partners including NHS commissioners, NHS provider organisations and Public Health commissioners. This system-wide regional approach will ensure consistent and sustained messaging for parents and carers about infant crying.

The Clinical Commissioning Groups' Safeguarding Children Team said "It is absolutely normal for babies to cry, and sometimes this can increase over the first few months before subsiding. We know that some parents and carers can get frustrated by this and we want to provide all the support we can to help them.

"Building on successes elsewhere in England, we are introducing 'ICON' across North Yorkshire and York to provide a consistent and sustained approach to providing parents and carers tools and interventions to prevent behaviours which can results in abusive head trauma and help them keep their babies safe."

This programme is being implemented in partnership by:

Airedale Hospital NHS Foundation Trust

City of York Healthy Child Service

Harrogate and District NHS Foundation Trust

NHS Hambleton, Richmondshire and Whitby Clinical Commissioning Group

NHS Harrogate and Rural District Clinical Commissioning Group

NHS Scarborough and Ryedale Clinical Commissioning Group

NHS Vale of York Clinical Commissioning Group

North Yorkshire Healthy Child Service

South Tees Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust

York Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust

More information and resources to support the ICON programme are available on the dedicated ICON website at http://iconcope.org/.

The ICON leaflet is also available to download.

Further video's and resources are also available on the ICON website.

Further resources
https://www.saferchildrenyork.org.uk/one-minute-guides-menu.htm
The North Yorkshire and York Child Death Overview Panel has created a new Sudden and Unexpected Death in Infancy (SUDI) Prevention One Minute Guide for Professionals, please check it out and share with your colleagues.

The CYSCP and NYSCP are always looking to develop new resources to engage parents and carers. Further information is available on the NYSCP website including a Sudden Death in Infancy (SUDI), and Safer Sleep for Babies with lots of useful information and resources.

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Advice for Parents, Carers and the Public

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Information for families and practitioners in York.

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Parent and Carer Support for Children's Mental Health

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Parent and Carer Support for Children's Mental Health

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Parents and Carers support - The Charlie Waller Trust

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Content, support and resources for parents and carers from the Charlie Waller Trust

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IDAS is the largest specialist charity in the North of England supporting people affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence.

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Our A-Z guide gives you advice on how to help your child with their feelings and behaviour, as well as mental health conditions and life events. We'll also show you where you can get help.

For information and advice on the cost-of-living crisis, including where to find financial support for you and your family, read our guide to money and mental health.

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Parents' A-Z Mental Health Guide | Mental Health Advice

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Our A-Z guide to support has information and advice on how to help your child with specific mental health conditions, and difficult feelings & life events.

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#NoHarmDone | A Parent's Journey | My Child Self-Harms | YoungMinds

If you're worried that your child is self-harming but they aren't talking to you about it or showing visible injuries, it can be difficult to know what's going on.

Ways that young people self-harm

Some ways that young people self-harm include:

cutting themselves

scratching skin with fingernails

burning skin

biting skin

hitting themselves, or banging their head or another part of their body on a wall

pulling hair out from their head, eyebrows or eyelashes

inserting objects into their body

Things to look out for

If you are worried your child may be self-harming, here are some things to look out for:

unexplained cuts, burns, bite marks, bruises or bald patches

keeping themselves covered, for example wearing long sleeves or trousers even during hot weather, not wanting to change clothes around others or avoiding activities like swimming

bloody tissues in waste bins

seeming low or depressed, for example withdrawing from friends and family

blaming themselves for problems or expressing feelings of failure, uselessness or hopelessness

outbursts of anger or argumentativeness

Self-harm is usually a way of trying to manage very difficult feelings. People often self-harm when life feels hard to cope with - when lots of distressing feelings have built up and it's become overwhelming. In the moment, the sensation of self-harming and experiencing some physical pain can feel easier than feeling out of control emotionally.

If a young person is self-harming, it's often a sign that something in their life isn't quite right or has become too much to deal with. It can be understood as an important message about how a young person is feeling - one that needs to be noticed with care by the adults around them.

Some myths you might hear about self-harm can make it harder to talk about as a parent - including that it's a 'phase' young people go through, or that it's an attention-seeking behaviour.

While it might feel hard to understand sometimes from the outside, self-harm can be a way for a young person to:

manage, reduce or express very strong and upsetting emotions - such as hurt, sadness, anger, fear or feeling bad about themselves

relieve tension and pressure, or reduce feelings of panic and anxiety and temporarily feel calmer

experience a feeling of physical pain to distract from emotional pain

gain a sense of control over feelings or problems - for example, by feeling there's something they can do when things feel too much

stop feeling numb or 'zoned-out' - which can be a protection mechanism our bodies use when we're experiencing overwhelming feelings

However, while it often feels like self-harm brings some relief in the moment, this is only temporary. As feelings build up again, so does the urge to self-harm. As this cycle continues over time, a young person may start to feel ashamed, confused or frightened about the fact that they're self-harming - increasing the load they're carrying on top of what they're already going through. This can become a cycle that's really hard to break, and a habit that's hard to stop.

Helping your child in the short term

When the urge to self-harm does build in the moment, having a list of other things they can do straight away can also help your child to 'ride the wave of' their intense feelings without self-harming.

Remember that different things will work for different people, and that what helps will usually depend on the feelings your child is trying to manage. Some young people will want to do something soothing like wrapping themselves up in a comfy space, while others might want to do something very active to burn off the energy in their body.

Talk to your child about different strategies they could try, while also giving them space to find their own ways of coping and figure out what works for them. Strategies could include:

Making and using a self soothe box

Writing down how they're feeling in a journal

Writing down difficult feelings on pieces of paper and then ripping them up

Ripping up a magazine or newspaper

Hitting a soft cushion, pillow or bean bag

Listening to loud music

Having a shower

Doing some exercise

Going for a walk outside, or taking the dog for a walk

Focusing on their breathing - how it feels in their body to breathe in and out

Wrapping up in a blanket or duvet

Talking to someone - a friend, family member or calling a helpline

Tidying or organising something

Doing a hobby they enjoy that helps them feel calm, such as painting, drawing, colouring-in, watching a favourite TV programme, playing video games, cooking or baking

Your child might want to use an app like Calm Harm so they have something on their phone that suggests different techniques they can try when they feel the urge to self-harm.

Helping your child over the longer term

Over the longer-term, becoming more aware of how they feel when they self-harm, what's making them feel this way and what kinds of things help, will empower your child to feel more in control. This will hopefully reduce the sense of being overwhelmed and the feeling that they need to self-harm. You can find more tips about this below.

It might help to start a conversation while walking outside or doing an activity, which can help your child to feel more relaxed and make it feel less like a 'big chat'. It can also help both of you to be in a neutral space, for example not in their bedroom. You can find our activity ideas for starting a conversation in our guide to talking to your child about mental health.

While you may understandably have lots of questions, it's important to remember your child is going through a tough time and may find this overwhelming. Focus on finding out how they're doing, without bombarding them for information.

Remember that your child may feel ashamed about self-harming and find it difficult to talk about. Let them come to you when they feel ready to talk, and reassure them that they can talk to you as often and for as long as they need to.

If your child is struggling to talk, they might find it easier to text you or write you a letter. This also gives you time to process what they've told you and think about how you'd like to respond.

When your child does open up, try to focus on listening, showing empathy and being curious about what it's like for them, rather than trying to 'fix' things straightaway. Sometimes they will just want you to listen and understand how they are feeling.

What kinds of thoughts are they having, and how do they feel in their bodies? For example, they might start to feel more zoned-out, or like they're full of panic. This can help them to recognise what feelings they're trying to cope with, and what they can do instead to express and manage these.

Keeping a mood diary might help them to understand this overtime - this could be as simple as a word, phrase or emoji that they note down each day.

Responding to self-harm - Roundup | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Speaking to your GP is often a good place to start, as they can discuss your concerns, speak to your child to find out how they're doing and let you know what support options are available. Depending on your child's situation, they can also refer them for an assessment by a mental health specialist or to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). You can speak to the GP yourself to explain the situation and ask for advice, even if your child doesn't want to talk to them.

Young people who are self-harming may find it particularly helpful to speak to a counsellor or therapist, who can help them to make sense of how they're feeling and work with them to find new ways of coping. Our guide to counselling services takes you through the process of finding a counsellor or therapist for your child.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting support from mental health services.

Trying to find the right help for your child and finding your way around different services can be really tiring at times - so keep reminding yourself that you're doing your best and that it's not easy.

Some young people who are self-harming will find it very difficult to speak to a professional, go to appointments or even acknowledge what's going on. If things are feeling stuck, you can call our Parents Helpline for information, advice and support.

Parents have found the following things helpful to keep in mind when seeking professional help:

If you're feeling under a lot of strain yourself, or that the situation is too much to manage as a parent, it's often a sign that more professional help is needed.

Try to speak to professionals early on, before things have escalated to a crisis situation.

Encourage your child to give themselves some time to get to know a professional and build trust, remembering that they might be starting from a very withdrawn place.

Ask if you can see the same professional each time, so that you and your child don't have to keep re-explaining the situation.

Be open minded about different types of treatment - remembering that what works for your child might not be the same as what would work for you.

It's important to take your child to hospital or to your GP if they have any injuries or wounds that require medical attention.

It can be helpful to understand as a parent that self-harm is often a coping mechanism to help someone manage, and isn't necessarily an expression of suicidal feelings or an attempt to take their own life. However, people who experience suicidal thoughts can be more likely to have self-harmed in the past. If you're worried that your child may be experiencing suicidal thoughts, read our guide to find out how you can access help.

If your child is having a mental health crisis and needs urgent help now, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

If your child's life is at risk, or if it does not feel like they're safe, please call 999 for an ambulance or take them straight to A&E.

Find urgent help

Finding out that your child is self-harming can be an incredibly distressing, or even traumatic, experience as a parent. It's completely normal to struggle with feelings of anxiety, confusion, sadness, anger, frustration, guilt or shame.

Try to take time when you can to check in with yourself, and to think about ways you can take care of yourself as well as your child. Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust.

Many parents who have been in this situation find it helpful to reach out to other parents so they can talk through how they have handled difficult situations and found support. You may also be able to find a local parent support group using the Charlie Waller Trust directory.

If you need more help, speaking to your GP is a good place to start, and they may be able to refer you to a local support service. Sometimes it helps just having someone there who can listen to what you're going through - and if you need someone to talk to, you can call the Samaritans anytime on 116 123.

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

This page was reviewed in July 2021. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with self-harm. We will next review the page in 2024. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Self-Harm & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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Read our guide to self-harm to learn more about what self-harm is, what the signs of self-harm are in a young person, and where to get support.

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Parents Against Child Exploitation (Pace) UK

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PACE - Parents Against Child Exploitation

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PACE - Parents Against Child Exploitation

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Parents Against Child Exploitation (Pace) UK

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We work with parents and carers of children who are at risk of being exploited by perpetrators. We offer guidance and training to professionals.