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Shame and birth of great success comes from the sample place; vulnerability 

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Shame and birth of great success comes from the sample place; vulnerability 

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avoid terminal niceness and emotional wake

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avoid terminal niceness and emotional wake

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how different would our schools and organizations be if we thought more intentionally about who gets a seat at the table, what gets talked about, how we share with honesty

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how different would our schools and organizations be if we thought more intentionally about who gets a seat at the table, what gets talked about, how we share with honesty

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legislated niceness - the leaders encourage people to stop thinking by announcing that things are good.

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legislated niceness - the leaders encourage people to stop thinking by announcing that things are good.

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Avoid 360s if you value authenticity and transparency. Have conversations. This can create a culture of false niceness, avoiding feedback.

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Avoid 360s if you value authenticity and transparency. Have conversations. This can create a culture of false niceness, avoiding feedback.

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Be a radical truth teller (transparency, integrity). Your actions reframe a healthy or sick culture; you model bravery or cowardice.

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Be a radical truth teller (transparency, integrity). Your actions reframe a healthy or sick culture; you model bravery or cowardice.

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Describe reality from your perspective without laying blame.

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Describe reality from your perspective without laying blame.

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In order for a connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be seen.

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In order for a connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be seen.

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-We often focus on the negative, i.e., we could receive many pieces of positive feedback & 1 area of growth and only focus on the growth area
-It is challenging to be vulnerable, mainly because of the identities we hold

-We have a desire for  control and predictability
-It can be hard to admit when we need help, there is a fear of what might come back to "bite us."
-How are we setting up a safe environment for ourselves & others
-Vulnerability is difficult without trust
-We have to be vulnerable with ourselves and truly look in the mirror
-We have to set boundaries around vulnerability

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I need to look at the mirror and be vulnerable with myself

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I need to look at the mirror and be vulnerable with myself

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To be vulnerable with others, you have to start by being vulnerable with yourself......

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To be vulnerable with others, you have to start by being vulnerable with yourself......

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key question: how do you help move an org culture to this value? the critical role of the leaders in setting the tone. must begin at the top.

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key question: how do you help move an org culture to this value? the critical role of the leaders in setting the tone. must begin at the top.

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People that are vulnerable believe that they are worthy.

When we struggle with vulnerability, we revert to pretending. numbing, perfecting, making the uncertain certain.

Pushed us to think how we can use this to allow ourselves to embrace this fellowship, let our guards down a bit and be free to say what is on our minds.

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How do you go bankrupt? Gradually, then suddenly.

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How do you go bankrupt? Gradually, then suddenly.

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When we numb vulnerability, we numb joy and happiness and often land in a cycle of this.

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Feedback is needed, it's a part of life. But anonymous feedback is not a good practice. It's the opposite of authentic communication. 

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Feedback is needed, it's a part of life. But anonymous feedback is not a good practice. It's the opposite of authentic communication. 

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"Authenticity should be a workplace value."

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"Authenticity should be a workplace value."

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Success or failure is gradual and then sudden - one fierce conversation at a time.

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Success or failure is gradual and then sudden - one fierce conversation at a time.

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Are you reinforcing a healthy or sick culture? Modeling courage or cowardice?

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Are you reinforcing a healthy or sick culture? Modeling courage or cowardice?

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I love how she says.."Lonely at the top" is a myth. If you are lonely at the top, this says something about you.

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Get the right people in the room. Just because you are the leader, doesn't mean you need to feel that way. If you feel that way, this says more about you.

Leadership isn't a title, it's a behavior.

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Humans tend to focus on negative feedback rather than positive feedback

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Humans tend to focus on negative feedback rather than positive feedback

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Our children our hard wired for struggle. Our culture's challenges with vulnerability or seek to perfect children, rob students of the ability to grow.

Need to reinforce productive struggle.

Make it safe for students and adults to be imperfect.

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Our systems are built that way. Finances dictate a lot about what can be done with your leadership team. You have to dig within yourself to ensure the right people are in the room.

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People (and especially our students) can spot inauthenticity from more than 50 paces away!

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Courage - tell story of myself with my whole heart, courage to be imperfect
Compassion = treat self kindly and others
Connection - authenticity not who I think I should be, to be seen and to have the courage to really let myself be seen

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People with a sense of worthiness have a sense of love and belonging. This requires courage , compassion, connection, and vunerability

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Getting used to the niceness of ES teachers versus "kindness." There's a difference - when folks are kind they are still nice but still tell you things directly to your face.

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You can't tell your shareholders that everything is fine and then the next day file for bankruptcy. People need to know.

Seat at the table: this connects with our students with disabilities and English Language Learners.

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Describe reality from your perspective without placing blame

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-courage-telling the story of who you are with your whole heart.  The courage to be imperfect.  Compassion to be kind to yourself and then being able to be kind to others.  Be authentic and let go of you who think you should be to be who you are.

-what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.

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How do we allow for the range of emotions? How do we process grief and open the door for really incredible moments?

Can we make space for the a range of emotions and texts that prepare students for the world (in light of book bans, CRT bans, etc)?

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Problems exist whether we cop to them or not. Who are we benefiting from not having those tough conversations?