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Basic Trust versus Mistrust is the first of eight developmental stages Erik Erikson theorized, in which a child develops his/her ability to trust or mistrust that his/her needs will be met. Our text book defines this stage as ¨The critical element in developing trust is sensitive, responsive, consistent caregiving¨ (Martorell, 2023, p. 150). Alternatively, it is also important that a child learn that not everyone is safe as they get a bit older, as is shown with stranger anxiety. A bit of mistrust in people the baby does not know is healthy in protecting him/her from danger.
My daughter, Emma, was born at 36 weeks of gestation and immediately knew how to let me know what she needed. If her diaper was soiled, was hungry, or sleepy, she got fussy or cried. I always aimed to meet her needs and keep her comfortable. One of the most difficult tasks for a mother of a young baby is to get enough rest so I worked hard to help her learn that if she needed me, Emma could count on me to be there, but I also wanted to her to learn how to eventually sooth herself to sleep. At about six months of age, I was able to lay her down on her crib for a nap or for the night while she was still awake to go to sleep. She was able to rock herself from side to side and eventually go to sleep.
Another important area in being able to meet a baby´s needs is communication. I started as early as six months of age to teach Emma sign language to minimize frustration for both of us. She quickly learned basic signs and was able to tell me what she needed.
I believe that knowing that she could trust those that cared for her, Emma was able to successfully develop a sense of trust.
On the other hand, Emma was not very good at mistrusting strangers. She was always happy to be with or let anyone hold her. It was nice for me to be able to allow others help me with her but it was also concerning that she was so trusting in case a stranger meant to harm her so I had to keep a watchful eye on her.

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Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt is the second developmental stage as defined by Erikson. In this stage, a child learns to exert independence in their own abilities. It is a time when a child will not only be able to make their wishes known more effectively through the use of language, but also the desire to control their physical abilities. Although, we might think of shame and doubt as a negative expression, it is during this stage a child will learn boundaries and safety in the context of their own will. The text book explains that this is so ¨Because unlimited freedom is neither safe nor healthy...¨(Martorell, 2023, p. 156).
During this stage (around 2 1/2) , Emma was very determined in picking her own clothes and trying to put them on herself as well. Even though at times we had to get out the door with her looking a bit silly, I felt that giving her the choice of clothing (provided that it was weather appropriate), was a good compromise. I did not always allow her to dress herself because at that age she could not do so quickly and there were times when we needed to get out the door in a rush. Making allowances such as this curved her reluctance to let me make decisions in areas where she was not yet capable of being independent.

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Initiative versus Guilt is the third developmental stage in Erikson´s schema. During this time, children typically take their independence to the next level with a sense of purpose in what they do. Children have mastered many physical tasks during the previous stage and now work on being the initiators of play activities. Since they will interact and play along with other children, their interaction will dictate what is socially acceptable. Socially unacceptable behavior will be met with guilt which will help shape their social interactions with others.
Emma is very headstrong and has the qualities of a leader. Unfortunately when she was young, she wanted everything to go her way. When she played with her friends inevitably fights would ensue, especially when she played with friends who shared her personality traits. She also enjoyed teasing her older sister. Even though they are almost four years apart, Emma was able to dodge her sister´s attempts to take advantage of her. Any attempts on Emma´s part that bordered on unfairness was met with displeasure from her sister and playmates. This was important for her social and moral development in that ¨Guilt, shame, and pride are known as the social emotions because they help regulate social interactions and are involved with moral development. If you feel ashamed after getting caught doing something others think is bad, that might keep you from doing it again¨ (Martorell, 2023, p. 210). It took a while for Emma to master the art of socially interacting with others, maybe a bit after the 3-5 year bracket but eventually she did learn. Especially after she started attending school full time.

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Industry versus Inferiority is the fourth of Erikson´s developmental stages. This stage is tightly woven into the child´s abilities in school (reading, writing, and mathematical skills) as well as in sports. Success in their accomplishments gives a child a sense of competence in meeting new social challenges. Failure to succeed in these areas will be met with a sense of inferiority or not being able to measure up to peers. Self-esteem, feeling confident on one´s own abilities emerges during this stage and can have a definite impact on how a child relates to others and feels about him/herself.
Emma was homeschooled until the end of first grade. Because her birthday is in September, she has always been young for her grade. We decided to enroll her in a private school for second grade where she was exposed for the first time to bullies. Even though she retained her strong leadership and academic skills, being bullied definitely had an impact in her social and emotional development. During this stage she became very self conscious and worried about what others thought of her. It was during this stage that she also experienced the hospitalization of her older sister due to anorexia nervosa. Watching her sister struggle from the time Emma was eight, and her own experience with being bullied made her more empathetic towards other´s emotions and prevented her from following her sister´s path. Our text states that ¨Understanding emotional distress is important for the development of empathy, the capacity to understand and feel the emotions of another person¨ (Martorell, 2023, p. 276). I would say that this stage was somewhat accomplished. In terms of academics, Emma has always maintained a high level of competency but has struggled emotionally with unresolved feelings of inferiority she had to deal with at such a young age even though she does have a high level of empathy, her own feelings remain an issue at times.

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Stage 5: Identity vs. Identity Confusion

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Stage 5: Identity vs. Identity Confusion

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Identity versus Identity Confusion is the fifth of Erikson´s developmental stages. This space of time, referred to as the pshychosocial moratorium by Erikson, allows a young person to define who they are as a person and what their role is in society. It is important that the adolescent resolve all the previous stages successfully to function capably in social sphere. Martorell describes the adequate completion of this stage as a time when ¨Adolescents who resolve the identity crisis satisfactorily develop the virtue of fidelity; sustained loyalty,  faith, or a sense of belonging to a loved one or to friends and companions¨ (2023, p. 336).
Emma is probably entering or about to enter this stage. At the end of last year she became very depressed and cried almost daily. I became very concerned over her emotional well being and took her to speak with our pastor. I don´t think she knew exactly what was bothering her. Whenever I asked what was making her so sad and causing her to cry so much, she had no idea. The more time passed, I began to wonder if what had happened to her at a younger age had affected her and was just now starting to process her emotions since at the time that they occurred she had to suppress them.
Due to her tendency to please others to seek acceptance, Emma pushes herself extremely hard at all she does. Aside from school, she is involved in volleyball, tap dance, and piano. Everything she does she feels like she has to be the best/perfect. She gets so stressed out, that she has recently developed stomach migraines as a result. Academically, she feels terrible about herself if she gets a 99%. In Volleyball, she has to get every serve and set (she is a setter) perfectly. If the team loses, she blames herself for the loss. She loves to play the piano and finds solace in playing to relieve her stress but even then, she pushes herself hard to play every piece perfectly. When a new song is introduced, she wants to have it perfectly in just a few days and becomes frustrated if it has flaws. I would say that dance she truly enjoys, and it is probably the only activity in her life that does not produce much stress if any at all. Socially, Emma is very popular at school and well liked. She has had a few ups and downs in relationships with her friends and takes all those happenings very personally. She is learning how to navigate those difficulties and confront her peers when necessary. As she develops and continues to figure out who she is, what she wants to do as college approaches, how to manage stress, my greatest hope is that she truly internalizes that she is not perfect, and that part of what makes her unique are her virtues as well as her faults. All in all, I would say that she has not quite figured this stage out yet, she is definitely approaching this area in some aspects, and in the throes of it in other aspects.

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Intimacy versus Isolation is the sixth of Erikson´s development stages. During this stage an individual will either develop an intimate loving relationship and ¨...make commitments to others...¨ or become isolated and disconnected (Martorell, 2023, p. 12). A young adult may or may not be going to college, starting their professional career, and will meet people that were not a part of their growing up years and develop a very different kind of relationship than those they had as adolescents. More responsibilities (i.e. mortgage/rent, utilities, car expenses, food, maintaining/caring for a family, etc.) will also be a part of every day life.
I pray that Emma will meet a committed faithful christian, responsible, dedicated, respectful young man whom she can marry after she finishes college. She has expressed her desire to have between two to four children either biologically or through adoption. I think as with any other stage this one will come along with its challenges as well. Blending two people with two different backgrounds working towards a common goal is hard work. She is a hard worker and doesn´t give up easily. I just pray that she doesn´t aim for perfection in all her doings but rather for authenticity of self.

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Generativity versus Stagnation is the seventh of the eight developmental stages in Erikson´s timeline. It is during this stage that an individual will either focus on making a mark or live a life of purposelessness. Martorell tells us that a ¨Mature adult is concerned with establishing and guiding the next generation or else feels personal impoverishment¨ (2003, p. 12).
Emma has expressed the desire to volunteer as a coach for her kid´s volleyball team (if they decide to play volleyball). I pray that she finds value in investing herself in the lives of her children and raises them with a Godly worldview. I would also hope that she sees value in investing in the lives of others either professionally or personally/spiritually as a result of all the experiences she has gleaned throughout her life thus far.

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Integrity versus Despair is the last of eight developmental stages conceived by Erikson. This stage can be characterized as the summation of an individual´s life long achievements. A person can be content with the life they have lived and accept the inevitable end or despair over regrets and fret in an effort to right wrongs from the past (Martorell, 2023, p. 12).
Emma´s maternal grandmother who is at this stage of her life has left a very lasting impression in Emma´s mind. Emma admires her and always talks about how she wants to be positive, healthy, and active just like her ¨abuelita¨ now and when she is an elderly woman. She also has the example of her paternal grandmother who on the contrary is always complaining, afraid, depressed, unhealthy, and generally unhappy. To Emma, ¨abuelita¨ is her hero. I pray that she can glean from both and determine to live her life now with little to no regrets, taking advantage of all the opportunities that come her way so that when she reaches this stage she can feel a sense of accomplishment of a life lived with integrity.

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Martorell, G. (2023). Child, 3rd edition. McGraw Hill.