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In the future, from five years on I am hoping to be more of a  mature and wiser person. I see myself in 5 years later probably graduated from master degree of biomedical engineering. I hope to continue study in Phd Biomedical Science Engineering and minor in Psychology in the University Malaya. Even though i tend to think and have few vision about my future, I don't have any plan since I'm the type of person who follows the flow of life. I'm fine with any changes even though I might struggle in the beginning. One of the goals I do want to achieve is writing a book. For now, I do not have any great skills in writing but hopefully one day I will get better at it. The story that I want to write is fantasy/ science fiction. Other than that, I plan to be an activist environmentalist. For now the only thing I can do is recycle and reuse some materials, research about environmental issues and volunteer to clean the environment that is held in the college. I hope I could save many forest and animals in the future. I also interest in going vegetarian. Lastly, I will be learning four new languages, which are Russian, Japanese, Latin and Spanish or Chinese (I'm not sure which one to choose). It will be also nice if I learn sign language and I'm sure this will be very helpful in the future. The reason I want to learn so many languages is so that I can read so many books that is not in English or Malay.

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"It is important to draw wisdom from different places. If you take it from only one place it becomes rigid and stale." This quotes are from a character named Iroh in the 'Avatar: The last air bender'. In the cartoon, Iroh is the most wisest character and always care to help other peoples. The reason I love this quotes is because it helps me to be more open minded to other peoples opinions no matter who they are. Even if their opinion seems unorthodox, we should try to see their points of view in putting ourselves in their shoes. This could help us be more wiser and not ignorance about the world. Other than that, we can also applied this when we want to learn or read the news. When we are studying or read the news, we must took information from different materials. If we just rely on one reference, that we our views could be a little biased because we only accept one answer and refuse to listen other opinions. How are we supposed to know ourselves better if we just stay the same all the time. We would never discover our talents because we limited ourselves in certain place. The more knowledge we gain, the more wiser we know and it will help us to make choices in life easier. It is important to have your own opinion but it is also important to listen from others so that we will not live in bubble of ignorance.

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During the weekend I was watching Batman The Animated Series. It was one of my favourite cartoon of all time. Batman was the first superhero I know and even after known so many other superheroes, batman is still my favourite superhero. Every superhero has their own speciality on what makes them unique as an individuals. There are so many reasons why do I love batman and what makes him different than other superheroes. First and foremost, he has humanity. Batman is the most famous superhero that does not have any superpowers. Sure he might have high Iq, good detective skills and martial arts skills, but these skills we can see in most humans. He have weakness like most humans does and therefore we can empathize with batman. Batman has many superheroes friends but many superheroes feel intimidate by him. Why? Because he study and understand their weakness and strength. He will use this as advantages if any of them dare to crossover him. Not to mention he fight using his technologies instead of any mystical powers. In the real world humans always rely on technologies. We use our intelligent to help us since we as a human has our limits. Secondly, batman inspire so much since he is a self-made man. He practice everyday to become better and learn from his mistakes. As I said earlier, he doesn't have any cool superpowers but rely on his talents. Having talents is also not enough so he always practice to be more strong physically and mentally. Not to mention, the reason he fight for the people of gotham (his hometown) is because he wanted gotham to be free of criminals not because he was taught or is his responsibilty. Lastly, how batman deals with his villains. Most of batman's villains have tragic life that causes them to make bad decision in their life. Instead of killing them batman always try to find a reason why do they become a villains and tries to help them. However not all villains can be bought to reason since his main nemesis, Joker never has any reason to be evil. There are times when batman also tries to help the villains to become better. He always put them in asylum so they could treated well and have another chance in life. Unfortunately not all villains want to change since the world will never gave them a chance. There are actually more reasons on why I love batman but I think these three reasons should be enough. Batman is the superhero most of us want and inspire to be when we are a kid.

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Loyalty is very subjective. For everyone, the act of loyalty is different in their own way. While some might believe that loyal means staying by your side until death, I don’t really believe on that statement. In my opinion, the definition of loyalty means be honest and trusting me until the day you dont feel that way anymore. I believe people should be loyal because they want to not because they have to. Is it really loyalty if the person stays with just because that is how people act in their culture or because they been taught they have to do it. It is easier to be loyal to someone because they want to not because they believe they have to.
I consider myself to be fiercely loyal to my family and friends. Loyalty and honesty are closely entwined for me. I have trust issues so I value honesty. The most pets peeve I have is when people can’t keep secrets. How am I suppose to trust you if you can’t keep people secrets? Loyalty without honesty would be a horrible combination in my opinion. For example whenever I ask a question or state an opinion, I want that person to be truthful to me instead of just agreeing and has no opinion of their own. How am I suppose to trust you if you don’t reveille your true self? Loyalty is after all based on people’s trust. I know everyone have their own opinion in certain things and just because we both have different values, this does not make an excuse to not be loyal. I don’t think people should be forced to be loyal and I would never demand loyalty from anyone. If they want to leave me they have their free will.

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Followed the link to the article. Definitely true about "the tyranny of positivity". Excellent writing by you as well.

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There is nothing wrong with being happy in life but what if you keep forcing on positivity to others. Whenever I'm stress, I need a few moments of silence and solitude to keep my mind at ease. However, my friends and family tend to go talk to me and try to comfort me until I'm happy. Most of the time when I feel stress, my mind get mixed up with a lot of emotions. As a result, I cant think rationally and need a moment to calm down for a moment. Whenever they say “just be positive and things will be fine", I couldn't help but feel annoyed. I believe that whenever we made mistake, we should learn from our mistakes not just forget about it and just be happy. I understand that my friends and family just want to make me feel better but I also want to express my feelings too. I don't understand why expressing feelings are seen as a bad thing. People should be able to express their feeling but also keep their emotions in balanced. If I'm not happy all the time it doesn't mean I'm miserable. I'm not a cheerful person and I don't hate anyone who is cheerful and happy go lucky but I do hate it when people expect me to be happy all the time. People are different. There is a website that I read about forced positivity.

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All people, at times, fill up with grief, spill over with joy, or tremble with anger. Most of us are taught early on to manage these emotions by sharing and reveling in the positive ones, while repressing or apologizing for the negative ones. Either way, we learn not to probe our feelings too deeply.

In her new book, "Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and Life," Harvard Medical School professor and psychologist Susan David explains and then challenges this reflexive ways of handling emotion. David argues that we should instead pay close, yet detached attention to our internal experiences. When harnessed, she asserts, the steady stream of thoughts, feelings, and personal narrative that makes up our inner self can become our best teachers. Our emotions can reveal what we value most, and we can then act on those values to evolve into our best selves - resilient, stable, curious, courageous, compassionate and empathetic, David says.

Applying social science research, David lays out a four-part method for becoming more emotionally agile at home and work. We include a summary of her method at the end of the interview, the first installment in our new blog series, Inspiring Reads.
[Do these exercises for two minutes a day and you'll immediately feel happier, researchers say]
Q: The book is, on one level at least, a critique of our culture's happiness obsession and the positive-thinking movement espoused by people like Rhonda Byrne in her tome, "The Secret." What's the problem with being positive and trying to get happy?

David: A lot of our cultural dialogue is fundamentally avoidant, so people will just say things like, "just be positive and things will be fine." "The tyranny of positivity" was what a friend of mine called it. She recently died of cancer, and what she meant was if being in remission was just a matter of positive thinking, then all of her friends in her breast cancer support group would be alive today. By sending out the message that our thoughts are responsible for creating our health, well-being, and reality, we are overvaluing the power of our thoughts, while making people feel culpable when something bad happens to them. They feel it is because they weren't positive enough.

What is actually guaranteed in life is that it will not go well sometimes. You're healthy, until you're not healthy. You're with the person you love, until you're not with the person you love. You enjoy your job, until you don't. We will find ourselves in situations where we will feel anger, sadness and grief and so on. Unless we can process, navigate and be comfortable with the full range of our emotions, we won't learn to be resilient. We must have some practice dealing with those emotions or we will be caught off guard. I believe the strong cultural focus on happiness and thinking positively is actually making us less resilient.

The next point - and this is very important to me - emotions like sadness, guilt, grief and anger are beacons for our values. We don't get angry about stuff we don't care about. We don't feel sad or guilty about stuff we don't care about. If we push these emotions away, we are choosing not to learn about ourselves. We are choosing to ignore our values and what is important to us.

And the last point, when we tell ourselves to "think positive" and to push negative or difficult emotions aside, it won't work. It doesn't work.

[Harvard researchers discovered the one thing everyone needs for happier, healthier lives]

Q: As Lloyd Dobler asked in "Say Anything," "How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in while?" Can we not will ourselves to be positive?

David: What the research shows is if we push away thoughts and emotions, they will come back magnified. For example, there is a study that shows what happened when someone who was trying to give up smoking tried not to think about cigarettes. What happened? They started to dream about cigarettes. This is a phenomenon which in psychology is called "leakage." It is literally the idea that when you try not to think about something, that thing comes back, but amplified. So the idea that we could somehow push our emotions aside to be happy doesn't make sense.

There is evidence that people who value happiness, people who are focused on being happy, and who set happiness as a goal for themselves actually become less happy over time. Happiness, we've found, is the byproduct of pursuing things that have intrinsic value to us. In other words, when you do something you love, that's when you'll feel happy. To set a goal around "happiness" is antithetical to finding it.

Q: So, you'd say "emotional agility" is an alternative to that positive thinking model?

David: Every day we have thousands and thousands and thousands of internal thoughts, emotions, stories and experiences. Emotional agility builds our capacity to engage our inner world in a way that is courageous, curious and compassionate. Whereas positive thinking and avoidance have overemphasized the role of our thoughts, emotional agility is a skill set that builds on our ability to face our emotions, label them, understand them and then choose to move forward deliberately. It is the ability to recognize when you're feeling stressed, be able to step out of your stress, and then decide how to act in a way that is congruent with your personal values and aligned with your goals.

Q: You lay out a four-pronged path to emotional agility, could you take us through each step?

David: Showing up: The first part of emotional agility is "showing up" to your emotions or facing your emotions. One of the most important parts to being a healthy and whole person is to understand that life is as beautiful as it is fragile and varied. We don't need to be dominated by one emotion or by a struggle with our emotions. We are big enough to contain all of our emotions. "Showing up" means you drop any struggle with yourself about whether your feelings are right or wrong or if you should or shouldn't feel a certain way.

Stepping out: The next part is called "stepping out," a mindfulness practice would fall under this section. "Stepping out" is when we experience thoughts and emotions, we create space between ourselves and the emotion. It is that part of ourselves that is wise enough to know that when you have a thought or feeling, it doesn't mean it is right, and it doesn't mean you have to act on it. It's just what you're feeling.

Walking your why: The third step is "walking your why." So you've shown up to your emotion and created the space, but what choice do you make within that space? Before you can do anything, you have to "know your why," or know your values. This step is about identifying the beliefs and behaviors that are important to you and then acting.

Moving on: Then, finally, "moving on" and really that is about cultivating effective habits that are congruent with your values and creating want-to goals. A want-to goal is a change that is driven by your values, as opposed to a have-to goal that is externally imposed. If you're trying to lose weight, for example, you might feel like you have to lose weight because your doctor tells you that you must or out of a sense of shame. What the research has shown is if you feel like you have to lose weight, you'll see a piece of cake differently. Your sense of temptation will be ramped up.

A want-to goal, however, is deeply connected to what's important to you. You want to lose weight because you want to be healthy and see your children grow. What we know is when you have a want-to goal, then your sense of physical temptation goes down. It is critical that our goals are aligned with our values in order for us to make real change in our lives.
David also has a quiz on her website to test emotional agility. Take it here. Neda Semnani is a freelance writer and former columnist for Roll Call. Her work has appeared in the Week, New York Magazine, the Baffler, LA Review of Books, Washington City Paper, BuzzFeed and more. She's based in Brooklyn. Read more Inspired Life: Meet the Uber driver who asks every rider to leave behind an inspiring message My father died by suicide this year. His death inspired me to learn how to 'just be.' Stranded on 9/11, a small town in Canada showed him kindness. This is how he pays it forward.

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happiness; harvard; positive thinking; emotions; mindfulness

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A Harvard psychologist explains why forcing positive thinking won't make you happy

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All people, at times, fill up with grief, spill over with joy, or tremble with anger. Most of us are taught early on to manage these emotions by sharing and reveling in the positive ones, while repressing or apologizing for the negative ones. Either way, we learn not to probe our feelings too deeply.

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How procrastination affects my daily routine? For the last few days, I tend to do my works last minutes. If I were given any assignments or have to study for quiz, I tend to postpone it for later date. In the end, I always regret my horrible work discipline and promise to never repeat the same mistake. However, the following day the same mistake had been repeated again and again. I do try to find the causes on why do I procrastinate a lot. It might be because I have no motivation or I'm afraid to do the work because of my lack of skills. Another reason is I'm afraid of failing. Everyone is afraid of failure but the worst part about failure is probably disappointing the people that you care and look up to. There is also fear of success. Whenever people accomplish something, they are expected to be excel next time and the following event to come without failure. If the person do fail for the next event, they tend to feel very awful about themselves. In conclusion, I need to have more motivation and stricter work discipline