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US Department of Health and Human Services

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Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs (ASPA)

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Learn what teens can do when they encounter common types of bullying at school and online.

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Don't respond. If someone bullies you, remember that your reaction is usually exactly what the bully wants. It gives him or her power over you. Who wants to empower a bully?

Don't retaliate. Getting back at the bully turns you into one and reinforces the bully's behavior. Help avoid a whole cycle of aggression.

Save the evidence. The only good news about digital bullying is that the harassing messages can usually be captured, saved, and shown to someone who can help. You need to do this even if it's minor stuff, in case things escalate.

Talk to a trusted adult. You deserve backup. It's always good to involve a parent but - if you can't - a school counselor usually knows how to help. Sometimes both are needed. If you're really nervous about saying something, see if there's a way to report the incident anonymously at school.

Block the bully. If the harassment's coming in the form of instant messages, texts, or profile comments, do yourself a favor: Use preferences or privacy tools to block the person. If it's in chat, leave the "room."

Be civil. Even if you don't like someone, it's a good idea to be decent and not sink to the other person's level. Also, research shows that gossiping about and trash talking others increases your risk of being bullied. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Don't be a bully. How would you feel if someone harassed you? You know the old saying about walking a mile in someone's shoes; even a few seconds of thinking about how another person might feel can put a big damper on aggression. That's needed in this world.

Be a friend, not a bystander. Watching or forwarding mean messages empowers bullies and hurts victims even more. If you can, tell bullies to stop or let them know harassment makes people look stupid and mean. It's time to let bullies know their behavior is unacceptable - cruel abuse of fellow human beings. If you can't stop the bully, at least try to help the victim and report the behavior.

For more info:* Cyberbullying & Cyberthreats: Responding to the Challenge of Online Social Aggression, Threats, and Distress, by Nancy Willard

* Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying,by Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin

* Cyber Bullying: A Prevention Curriculum for Grades 3-5 and Cyber Bullying: A Prevention Curriculum for Grades 6-12, by Susan Limber, Robin Kowalski, and Patricia Agatston

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Don't respond. If someone bullies you, remember that your reaction is usually exactly what the bully wants. It gives him or her power over you. Who wants to empower a bully? Don't retaliate. Getting back at the bully turns you into one and reinforces the bully's behavior.

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What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. Online threats and mean, aggressive, or rude texts, tweets, posts, or messages all count. So does posting personal information, pictures, or videos designed to hurt or embarrass someone else.

Cyberbullying also includes photos, messages, or pages that don't get taken down, even after the person has been asked to do so. In other words, it's anything that gets posted online and is meant to hurt, harass, or upset someone else.

Intimidation or mean comments that focus on things like a person's gender, religion, sexual orientation, race, or physical differences count as discrimination, which is against the law in many states. That means the police could get involved, and bullies may face serious penalties.

Online bullying can be particularly damaging and upsetting because it's usually anonymous or hard to trace. It's also hard to control, and the person being victimized has no idea how many people (or hundreds of people) have seen the messages or posts. People can be tormented nonstop whenever they check their device or computer.

Online bullying and harassment can be easier to commit than other acts of bullying because the bully doesn't have to confront his or her target in person.

What Are the Consequences of Cyberbullying?

Sometimes, online bullying, like other kinds of bullying, can lead to serious long-lasting problems. The stress of being in a constant state of upset or fear can lead to problems with mood, energy level, sleep, and appetite. It also can make someone feel jumpy, anxious, or sad. If someone is already depressed or anxious, cyberbullying can make things much worse.

It's not just the person being bullied who gets hurt. The punishment for cyberbullies can be serious. More and more schools and after-school programs are creating systems to respond to cyberbullying. Schools may dismiss bullies from sports teams or suspend them from school. Some types of cyberbullying may violate school codes or even break anti-discrimination or sexual harassment laws. So a bully may face serious legal trouble.

Why Do People Do It?

Why would someone be a cyberbully? There are probably as many reasons as there are bullies themselves.

Sometimes, what seems like online harassment may be accidental. The impersonal nature of text messages, posts, and other ways of communicating online means it can be hard to figure out if someone is joking or not.

Most people know when they're being bullied, though, because bullying involves repeated insults or threats. The people doing the bullying know they've crossed a line, too. It's not a one-off joke or insult - it's constant harassment and threats that go beyond typical fun teasing or a nasty comment made in anger.

What Can I Do About Cyberbullying?

Sometimes, people are afraid or not sure if they're being bullied or not. So they don't do anything about it. If you're being bullied, harassed, or teased in a hurtful way - or know someone who is - you don't have to suffer in silence. In fact, you absolutely should report any upsetting texts, messages, posts, or emails.

Tell someone. Most experts agree: The first thing to do is tell an adult you trust. This is often easier said than done. People who are cyberbullied may feel embarrassed or reluctant to report a bully. Some may hesitate because they're not 100% sure who is doing the bullying. But bullying can get worse, so speak up until you find someone to help. Sometimes the police can track down an anonymous online bully, so it's often worthwhile to report it.

Most parents are so concerned about protecting their kids that sometimes they focus on taking major steps to stop the bullying. If you're being bullied and worry about losing your phone or computer privileges, explain your fears to your parents. Let them know how important it is to stay connected, and work with them to figure out a solution that doesn't leave you feeling punished as well as picked on. You may have to do some negotiating on safe phone or computer use - the most important thing is to first get the bullying under control.

You also can talk to your school counselor or a trusted teacher or family member. If the bullying feels like it's really getting you down (like if it's affecting your sleep or concentration), therapy can help. If you're not ready for that, you can still benefit from the support of a trusted adult.

Walk away. What you've heard about walking away from a real-life bully works in the virtual world too. Ignoring bullies is the best way to take away their power, but it isn't always easy to do - in the real world or online.

If you see something upsetting, try to step away from the computer or turn off your phone for a while. Don't respond, and never forward the message to someone else. Find something to distract yourself from what's going on. Do something you love that doesn't give you time to think about what's happening, like playing the guitar, going for a run, or losing yourself in a book or movie. You can also just chat with a parent or sibling or play with a pet.

Taking a break like this allows you to keep things in perspective and focus on the good things in your life. It also gives you time to figure out how you want to handle things.

Resist the urge to retaliate or respond. Walking away or taking a break when you're faced with online bullying gives you some space so you won't be tempted to fire back a response or engage with the bully or bullies. Responding when we're upset can make things worse. (Standing up to a bully can be effective sometimes, but it's more likely to provoke the person and escalate the situation.) Taking a break gives the power back to you!

Although it's not a good idea to respond to a bully, it is a good idea to save evidence of the bullying if you can. It can help you prove your case, if needed. You don't have to keep mean emails, texts, or other communications where you see them all the time - you can ask a parent to make a copy or save them to a flash drive.

Report bullying. Social media sites take it seriously when people post cruel or mean stuff or set up fake accounts. If users report abuse, the site administrator may block the bully from using the site in the future. If someone sends you mean texts or emails, report it to phone service or email providers (such as Comcast, Google, and Verizon).

Block the bully. Most devices have settings that let you electronically block the bully or bullies from sending notes. If you don't know how to do this, ask a friend or adult who does.

Be safe online. Password protect your smartphone and your online sites, and change your passwords often. Be sure to share your passwords only with your parent or guardian. It's also wise to think twice before sharing personal information or photos/videos that you don't want the world to see. Once you've posted a photo or message, it can be difficult or impossible to delete. So remind yourself to be cautious when posting photos or responding to someone's upsetting message.

If a Friend Is a Bully

If you know of a friend who is acting as a cyberbully, take him or her aside and talk about it. Without putting your friend down, stand up for your own principles: Let the bully know it's not OK.

Explain to your friend that bullying can have serious consequences: for the bully, for those being bullied, and even for bystanders like you and your friends.

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Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. Online threats and mean, aggressive, or rude texts, tweets, posts, or messages all count. So does posting personal information, pictures, or videos designed to hurt or embarrass someone else.

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Bullying From Both Sides: Former Perpetrator and Former Victim Reflect on Past

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Bullying From Both Sides: Former Perpetrator and Former Victim Reflect on Past

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As we continue our look at a number of aspects of bullying this week, Here & Now's Jeremy Hobson speaks with a former victim of bullying, Francie Diep (@franciediep), who is now a staff writer at Pacific Standard, who decided to confront the person who bullied her for three years.

Also, we hear from Tyler Gregory, a former cyberbully who now works to protect young people from bullying as a project consultant for the Great American NO BULL Challenge.
On the nature of the cyberbullying she faced
"I had a friend - she was probably my best friend in school at the time - and we had a sort of a falling out. I don't really know or remember why, and I think she didn't either. But after we had this falling out, I noticed some things happening in my email. So I would log into my Yahoo account and all my emails would have disappeared, and sometimes there would be one email left in there with a nasty note to me. And, the worst thing that happened was that whoever was doing this would leave reminders in my calendar for me to kill myself. I don't remember exactly how it worked, but I do remember, you know, I would just be browsing on my computer and then I would get this sort of pop-up reminder often late at night.

"I never fully confirmed who it was that did this, but the girl who I had been friends with when I was 13, I knew she had my password. It was actually because, at some point we were playing on the computer together, and I typed out my password to log into my email account and I had accidentally had my cursor in the username box. So she saw it and it was an inside joke that was actually between the two of us. She knew what it meant. And at the time, in the late '90s, there was no way to change your security questions. So I would change my password and then, because the security question was also inside joke between us, this girl was able to just change the password to whatever she wanted whenever she wanted to get in, just because no one else would have known the answers to these questions. She must have been at least involved in one of the break-ins. But it's possible that she shared, it's possible it wasn't all her, but it had to have started with her."

On how this affected her
"I was very unhappy. I think kids are always unhappy in junior high, anyway. But this didn't help. As I talked about in my story, I did, at some point, want to die, which sounds very funny for, you know - I was a little girl from a loving family living in a beautiful town in Washington state. It seemed strange to say that I would have wanted that, but, you know, you don't have a lot of great emotional regulation at 13, 14. So things seem really serious when things go bad. I would say I had trouble making friends and like trusting friends afterward, but I made it through. I got into a college out of state, which is something I really wanted, and went away to college and lived the rest of my life."
On whether she told friends or parents at the time
"I did tell my friends. I did not tell my parents, which is horrifying when I think about, now, as an adult, I would - that is the scariest thing to imagine being a parent and having a little girl, 13, 14, 15, not tell you when something like this happens. That said, when I did confront my bully later, she also said she would have never told her parents. It's hard to get back into that mindset - I guess it's just a strange one, you know, being a 14-year-old girl. But, at the time, it seemed inconceivable. I thought that adults would make it worse somehow."
On confronting her cyberbully
"She was on Facebook. The wonderful thing about social media is that you can never get away from these old people. She was on Facebook, we had a lot of mutual friends. You know, we'd gone to junior high and high school together. I can't remember exactly now how I convinced her, but it took a long time, I remember that, sort of messaging her on Facebook back and forth before she would talk to me. I tried to get her on the phone, but she never did want to talk on the phone.

"She said at first she didn't remember anything, and then when I sort of told her more details, she sort of admitted to remembering more. She did admit to breaking into my email. She said she didn't remember setting the calendar reminders. Sometimes people ask me if I believe her. It's hard to know. It seems incredible that she would not remember, but it's also possible.

"I do feel a lot better. That's actually not an affect I expected. I was like, 'OK, I got to do this for the story.' So I did. But, in the end, it was amazing."
On his former cyberbullying
"It was my junior year of high school, so it was about seven years ago. I grew up in a very small town, very rural community, a graduating class of 63 students, and I had my core group of friends. There was about five of us. And one of the other friends in this group, his name was Scott, he started hanging out with another girl from a different school, and that didn't really sit well with the rest of the group of friends. We're like, you know, 'Why isn't he wanting to hang out with us? Why would he rather hang out with her?' And so, you know, the four of us, we kind of went on social media and took out our frustration toward this girl whom we had never met. And, looking back, I'm like, 'How in the world would I have been able to have said some of those things?' You know, talked about her weight. We talked about her appearance, and really just to make her feel bad. I think it really stems from, you know, cyberbullying ... you're not face-to-face with the person you're bullying. It makes it a lot easier. You're not seeing the reaction, if there is a reaction. You're not you know giving them an opportunity to necessarily retaliate unless they message you back or comment on something like that."
On how the cyberbulling ended
"It all came to an end once we were at a fundraising event, and one of the other friends in the group got on the phone and told this girl that, you know, 'The world would be a better place without you. Why don't you just kill yourself?' And that really struck a chord with me, because I was like, 'I never really thought about that. I never thought that the things that we were saying could actually lead to her harming herself.' And that's really when the bullying stopped after that point. And Scott, the friend who was hanging out with her, got involved and was like, you know, 'You guys, just everybody stop,' basically. And that's when things stopped."

"Looking back, I'm like, 'How in the world would I have been able to have said some of those things?' "
Tyler Gregory

Reflecting on why he was involved
"It was a small school. So it really was about fitting in. And it was about, you know, just getting some laughs out of my friends, as messed up as that sounds. It's very common among schools all over the country now."
On apologizing
"A year later, it was Labor Day weekend. Scott and I had actually started an anti-bullying campaign and we were at this fair of sorts. And she happened to be at the festival, and we saw her and we took the opportunity to apologize. And I'm really glad that we did, because at that time, we were getting a little bit of local media attention for the anti-bullying efforts that we were doing. She was seeing this on social media and on the news and stuff and it was like, 'This is not the person I know.' And so it was nice to have the opportunity to apologize. And she said she was glad that we were doing good work."
On advice for bullies
"My advice for a bully would be to really just take a step back and think about what you're doing. We don't know what everybody is going through, whether it's our co-workers, our neighbors, the students who we sat next to in class everyday. We don't know what happens at home. Even maybe some of your close friends, you might not even realize some of the things that they're going through. And so we basically have the power to control how people think about us. You know, when I look back on high school, I remember the people who weren't necessarily so nice, and I remember the people who were extremely nice. If you have that option to control how people view you, why not choose the positive way?"

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Bullying, From Both Sides: Former Perpetrator And Former Victim Reflect On Past

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As we continue our look at a number of aspects of bullying this week, Here & Now's Jeremy Hobson speaks with a former victim of bullying, Francie Diep (@franciediep), who is now a staff writer at Pacific Standard, who decided to confront the person who bullied her for three years.

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To Fight Bullying, Take Away Its "Social Power"

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To Fight Bullying, Take Away Its "Social Power"

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To Fight Bullying, Take Away Its 'Social Power,' Author Says

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"The way that people defeat bullying is by banding together," says Emily Bazelon, who wrote a 2014 book on bullying titled "Sticks and Stones."

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The Impact! How to Make a Difference When You Witness Bullying Online program is designed to help students know how to intervene when witnessing cyberbullying so you can make a positive difference.

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Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech

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YouTube, Instagram and Snapchat are the most popular online platforms among teens. Fully 95% of teens have access to a smartphone, and 45% say they are online 'almost constantly'

Until recently, Facebook had dominated the social media landscape among America's youth - but it is no longer the most popular online platform among teens, according to a new Pew Research Center survey. Today, roughly half (51%) of U.S. teens ages 13 to 17 say they use Facebook, notably lower than the shares who use YouTube, Instagram or Snapchat.

This shift in teens' social media use is just one example of how the technology landscape for young people has evolved since the Center's last survey of teens and technology use in 2014-2015. Most notably, smartphone ownership has become a nearly ubiquitous element of teen life: 95% of teens now report they have a smartphone or access to one. These mobile connections are in turn fueling more-persistent online activities: 45% of teens now say they are online on a near-constant basis.

The survey also finds there is no clear consensus among teens about the effect that social media has on the lives of young people today. Minorities of teens describe that effect as mostly positive (31%) or mostly negative (24%), but the largest share (45%) says that effect has been neither positive nor negative.

These are some of the main findings from the Center's survey of U.S. teens conducted March 7-April 10, 2018. Throughout the report, "teens" refers to those ages 13 to 17.

Facebook is no longer the dominant online platform among teens

The social media landscape in which teens reside looks markedly different than it did as recently as three years ago. In the Center's 2014-2015 survey of teen social media use, 71% of teens reported being Facebook users. No other platform was used by a clear majority of teens at the time: Around half (52%) of teens said they used Instagram, while 41% reported using Snapchat.

In 2018, three online platforms other than Facebook - YouTube, Instagram and Snapchat - are used by sizable majorities of this age group. Meanwhile, 51% of teens now say they use Facebook. The shares of teens who use Twitter and Tumblr are largely comparable to the shares who did so in the 2014-2015 survey.

For the most part, teens tend to use similar platforms regardless of their demographic characteristics, but there are exceptions. Notably, lower-income teens are more likely to gravitate toward Facebook than those from higher-income households - a trend consistent with previous Center surveys. Seven-in-ten teens living in households earning less than $30,000 a year say they use Facebook, compared with 36% whose annual family income is $75,000 or more. (For details on social media platform use by different demographic groups, see Appendix A.)

It is important to note there were some changes in question wording between Pew Research Center's 2014-2015 and 2018 surveys of teen social media use. YouTube and Reddit were not included as options in the 2014-2015 survey but were included in the current survey. In addition, the 2014-2015 survey required respondents to provide an explicit response for whether or not they used each platform, while the 2018 survey presented respondents with a list of sites and allowed them to select the ones they use. Even so, it is clear the social media environment today revolves less around a single platform than it did three years ago.

When it comes to which one of these online platforms teens use the most, roughly one-third say they visit Snapchat (35%) or YouTube (32%) most often, while 15% say the same of Instagram. By comparison, 10% of teens say Facebook is their most-used online platform, and even fewer cite Twitter, Reddit or Tumblr as the site they visit most often.

Again, lower-income teens are far more likely than those from higher income households to say Facebook is the online platform they use most often (22% vs. 4%). There are also some differences related to gender and to race and ethnicity when it comes to teens' most-used sites. Girls are more likely than boys to say Snapchat is the site they use most often (42% vs. 29%), while boys are more inclined than girls to identify YouTube as their go-to platform (39% vs. 25%). Additionally, white teens (41%) are more likely than Hispanic (29%) or black (23%) teens to say Snapchat is the online platform they use most often, while black teens are more likely than whites to identify Facebook as their most used site (26% vs. 7%).

Teens have mixed views on the impact of social media on their lives

Despite the nearly ubiquitous presence of social media in their lives, there is no clear consensus among teens about these platforms' ultimate impact on people their age. A plurality of teens (45%) believe social media has a neither positive nor negative effect on people their age. Meanwhile, roughly three-in-ten teens (31%) say social media has had a mostly positive impact, while 24% describe its effect as mostly negative.

Given the opportunity to explain their views in their own words, teens who say social media has had a mostly positive effect tended to stress issues related to connectivity and connection with others. Some 40% of these respondents said that social media has had a positive impact because it helps them keep in touch and interact with others. Many of these responses emphasize how social media has made it easier to communicate with family and friends and to connect with new people:

"I think social media have a positive effect because it lets you talk to family members far away." (Girl, age 14)

"I feel that social media can make people my age feel less lonely or alone. It creates a space where you can interact with people." (Girl, age 15)

"It enables people to connect with friends easily and be able to make new friends as well." (Boy, age 15)

Others in this group cite the greater access to news and information that social media facilitates (16%), or being able to connect with people who share similar interests (15%):

"My mom had to get a ride to the library to get what I have in my hand all the time. She reminds me of that a lot." (Girl, age 14)

"It has given many kids my age an outlet to express their opinions and emotions, and connect with people who feel the same way." (Girl, age 15)

Smaller shares argue that social media is a good venue for entertainment (9%), that it offers a space for self-expression (7%) or that it allows teens to get support from others (5%) or to learn new things in general (4%).

"Because a lot of things created or made can spread joy." (Boy, age 17)

"[Social media] allows us to communicate freely and see what everyone else is doing. [It] gives us a voice that can reach many people." (Boy, age 15)

"We can connect easier with people from different places and we are more likely to ask for help through social media which can save people." (Girl, age 15)

There is slightly less consensus among teens who say social media has had a mostly negative effect on people their age. The top response (mentioned by 27% of these teens) is that social media has led to more bullying and the overall spread of rumors.

"Gives people a bigger audience to speak and teach hate and belittle each other." (Boy, age 13)

"People can say whatever they want with anonymity and I think that has a negative impact." (Boy, age 15)

"Because teens are killing people all because of the things they see on social media or because of the things that happened on social media." (Girl, age 14)

Meanwhile, 17% of these respondents feel these platforms harm relationships and result in less meaningful human interactions. Similar shares think social media distorts reality and gives teens an unrealistic view of other people's lives (15%), or that teens spend too much time on social media (14%).

"It has a negative impact on social (in-person) interactions." (Boy, age 17)

"It makes it harder for people to socialize in real life, because they become accustomed to not interacting with people in person." (Girl, age 15)

"It provides a fake image of someone's life. It sometimes makes me feel that their life is perfect when it is not." (Girl, age 15)

"[Teens] would rather go scrolling on their phones instead of doing their homework, and it's so easy to do so. It's just a huge distraction." (Boy, age 17)

Another 12% criticize social media for influencing teens to give in to peer pressure, while smaller shares express concerns that these sites could lead to psychological issues or drama.

Vast majority of teens have access to a home computer or smartphone

Some 95% of teens now say they have or have access to a smartphone, which represents a 22-percentage-point increase from the 73% of teens who said this in 2014-2015. Smartphone ownership is nearly universal among teens of different genders, races and ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds.

A more nuanced story emerges when it comes to teens' access to computers. While 88% of teens report having access to a desktop or laptop computer at home, access varies greatly by income level. Fully 96% of teens from households with an annual income of $75,000 or more per year say they have access to a computer at home, but that share falls to 75% among those from households earning less than $30,000 a year.

Computer access also varies by the level of education among parents. Teens who have a parent with a bachelor's degree or more are more likely to say they have access to a computer than teens whose parents have a high school diploma or less (94% vs. 78%).

A growing share of teens describe their internet use as near-constant

As smartphone access has become more prevalent, a growing share of teens now report using the internet on a near-constant basis. Some 45% of teens say they use the internet "almost constantly," a figure that has nearly doubled from the 24% who said this in the 2014-2015 survey. Another 44% say they go online several times a day, meaning roughly nine-in-ten teens go online at least multiple times per day.

There are some differences in teens' frequency of internet use by gender, as well as race and ethnicity. Half of teenage girls (50%) are near-constant online users, compared with 39% of teenage boys. And Hispanic teens are more likely than whites to report using the internet almost constantly (54% vs. 41%).

A majority of both boys and girls play video games, but gaming is nearly universal for boys

Overall, 84% of teens say they have or have access to a game console at home, and 90% say they play video games of any kind (whether on a computer, game console or cellphone). While a substantial majority of girls report having access to a game console at home (75%) or playing video games in general (83%), those shares are even higher among boys. Roughly nine-in-ten boys (92%) have or have access to a game console at home, and 97% say they play video games in some form or fashion.

There has been growth in game console ownership among Hispanic teens and teens from lower-income families since the Center's previous study of the teen technology landscape in 2014-2015. The share of Hispanics who say they have access to a game console at home grew by 10 percentage points during this time period. And 85% of teens from households earning less than $30,000 a year now say they have a game console at home, up from 67% in 2014-2015.

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YouTube, Instagram and Snapchat are the most popular online platforms among teens. Fully 95% of teens have access to a smartphone, and 45% say they are online 'almost constantly' Until recently, Facebook had dominated the social media landscape among America's youth - but it is no longer the most popular online platform among teens, according to a new Pew Research Center survey.

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What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is when someone uses technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. It happens on devices like smartphones, computers, tablets, and gaming systems. Cyberbullying hurts people, and in some cases is against the law.

Sometimes cyberbullying can be easy to spot - for example, if your child shows you a text, comment, or post that is harsh, mean, or cruel. Other acts are less obvious, like posting someone's personal information, or using photos or videos that hurt or embarrass another person. Someone might make a fake account or screen name to harass and bully, so you don't know who the bully is.

What Are the Effects of Cyberbullying?

Kids have almost constant access to their devices, so cyberbullying is hard to escape. Kids and teens can feel like they never get a break and feel the effects very strongly.

Kids who are cyberbullied can struggle to concentrate in school, which can affect how well they do there. Cyberbullying that is severe, long-lasting, or happens a lot can cause anxiety, depression, and other stress-related disorders in victims and bullies. In rare cases, some kids have attempted or died from suicide.

Cyberbullies also can be suspended or expelled from school or kicked off of sports teams. Depending on the severity of the cyberbullying, kids also might be in legal trouble.

What Are the Signs of Cyberbullying?

Many kids and teens who are cyberbullied don't want to tell a teacher, parent, or trusted adults, often because they feel ashamed or fear that their devices will be taken away at home.

Signs of cyberbullying vary, but may include:

being emotionally upset during or after using the Internet or the phone

being very secretive or protective of one's digital life

spending more time than usual in their room

withdrawal from or lack of interest in family members, friends, and activities

avoiding school or group gatherings

slipping grades and "acting out" in anger at home

changes in mood, behavior, sleep, or appetite

suddenly wanting to stop using the computer or device

being nervous or jumpy when getting a message, text, or email

avoiding discussions about computer or phone activities

How Can Parents Help?

If your child is being cyberbullied

Offer comfort and support. Talking about any bullying experiences you had in your childhood might help your child feel less alone.

Let your child know that it's not their fault. Bullying says more about the bully than the victim. Praise your child for doing the right thing by talking to you about it. Remind your child you're in this together. Reassure your child that you'll figure out what to do.

Notify the school. Tell the principal, school nurse, or a counselor or teacher about the situation. Many schools, school districts, and after-school clubs have rules for responding to cyberbullying. These vary by district and state. But before reporting the problem, let your child know that you plan to do so, so that you can work out a plan that makes you both feel comfortable.

Encourage your child not to respond to cyberbullying. Doing so just makes the situation worse.

Keep records. Keep screen shots of the threatening messages, pictures, and texts. These can be used as evidence with the bully's parents, school, employer, or even the police.

Get help. If your child agrees, meeting with a therapist may help work through feelings. A counselor or mediator at school may work with your child alone or together with the bully.

Other things that may prevent future cyberbullying:

Block the bully. Most devices have settings that let you electronically block emails, messages, or texts from specific people.

Limit access to technology. Although it is hurtful, many kids who are bullied can't resist the temptation to check websites or phones to see if there are new messages. Keep the computer in a public place in the house and put limits on the use of cellphones and games. You might be able to turn off text messaging services during certain hours, and most websites, apps, and smartphones include parental control options that give parents access to their kids' messages and online life.

Consider monitoring your child's social media use. Programs and apps are available that can monitor kids' social media accounts and alert parents to any inappropriate language or photos. Some can give detailed reports of a child's browsing history and tell a parent how much time they spent online and on each site. Consider your child's age and digital behavior when deciding whether to monitor devices. Then, if you choose to monitor, talk to them about it and explain why it's important.

Know what sites your child uses. This is your chance to encourage kids and teens to teach you about something they know well - technology! This shows your child that you are interested in how they spend their time online, while helping you understand how to best monitor their online safety.

Be part of your kids' online world. Ask to "friend" or "follow" your child on social media sites, but do not abuse this privilege by commenting or posting anything to your child's profile. Check their postings and the sites kids visit, and be aware of how they spend their time online.

Put it in writing. Write smartphone and social media contracts for your kids that you're willing to enforce.

What Else Should I Know?

What if it's your kid who's behaving badly? While that can be upsetting, it's important to deal with the problem and not expect it to go away. No matter what's causing the bullying, tell your child that it's unacceptable. Set and enforce consequences if it continues. If needed, talk with teachers, guidance counselors, and others who might be able to help.

As always, be a role model for your kids. Help them understand the benefits and dangers of the digital world. If you don't get upset and use angry words in your own posts and replies, they're less likely to. Talk about healthy ways to respond - or not - when you disagree with others.

You can learn more about how to stop bullying at Stopbullying.gov.

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Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass or target another person. Here are some suggestions on what to do if online bullying has become part of your child's life.