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"My brain has better things to think about. It's a shame. Mr. Stetman seems like a nice guy" (Anderson, 39)

Melinda feels slight remorse that she doesn't pay attention in Algebra. She thinks her math teacher seems alright, she just doesn't have enough energy to give him the attention his lesson deserves.

Pride
"Rachel and I looked the best. We had used baby-sitting money to rent black satin capes. We rocked" (Anderson, 40)

In this moment Melinda feels proud of the effort her and Rachel put into their costumes and how they turned out.

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"I just thought of a great theory that explains everything. When I went to that party, I was abducted by aliens. They have created a fake earth and high school to study me and my reactions. This certainly explains the cafeteria food. Not all the other stuff, though. The aliens have a sick sense of humor"

Even though she hates her school and having a hard time making friends, she is still has her own sense of humor in her head trying to make a little laugh out a a situation. he was embarrassed at the pep rally not long ago and still is making a joke in her head, this shows that she still has a sense of humor underneath her sad exterior.

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"The interim reports came today. Listen to me, young lady. I'm going to say this once. You get those grades up" (Andrewson 35)

She is probably feeling very fearful at the time that her own parents are drifting farther and farther away from her. This, in turn, she feel even lonelier and distant from trusted people that she might be able to open up with.

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"If I drop out of high school, I could be a mime." (Anderson 33)

Halse Anderson's use of the word "mime" suggests that she is feeling a trait of happiness like mimes. She feels that she puts smiles on other's faces.

Sadness

"Why is it so hard to make friends here?" (Anderson 34)

Halse Anderson's use of the word "hard" and "friends" hint me that she is having a very hard time making NEW friends at her new school. She is probably struggling because she can't relate to other's around her.

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"My throat squeezes shut, as if two hands of black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe... For a minute she looks like she'll defend me. No, no, no, she won't." (Halse Anderson 28)

A girl in the auditorium has just singled Melinda out as the "girl who called the cops". Everyone stops to stare at Melinda and she is left stranded, helpless. Heather, who reaches out but pulls her hand back, chooses to stay out of the situation. Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "no, no, no" emphasizes the importance of reputation to Heather, and how because of this she is left in this situation alone.

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"I plan disaster drills. How would we escape if the chemistry lab exploded? What if an earthquake hit Central New York? A tornado?" (Halse Anderson 38).

Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "I plan disaster drills" suggests that Melinda has a depressed part of her that only can see the terrible things in life. She only focuses on the worst possible scenarios, such as tornadoes, earthquakes, and explosions to name a few. She only seems to see the dark and sad parts of life.

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"Her enthusiasm makes me itch, but sarcasm would go right over her head" (Halse Anderson 27).

In this quote, the author's comparison of Heather's enthusiasm to "itching," a typically irritating occurence, demonstrates Melinda's irritated feelings towards Heather's peppiness. Also, Melinda cannot do anything to change Heather's feelings, mentioning that "sarcasm" would not affect her.

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"Aren't you the one who called the cops at Kyle Rodger's party at the end of the summer?... My throat squeezes shut." (Anderson 28)

At the pep rally Melinda receives a lot of mad looks and people are upset at her. The words "squeezes shut" suggests that Melinda is nervous/uncomfortable and does not know what to do.

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"I pull my lower lip all the way in between my teeth. If I try hard enough, maybe I can gobble my whole self this way." (Anderson 39).

Melinda wants to leave the situation she feels trapped in by simply consuming herself to avoid it. Anderson's use of the words "gobble my whole self this way" implies that she feels anxiety due to the situation she gets placed in, and desperately wants to leave by any means possible.

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"I wear basic Dumpster togs- smelly gray turtleneck and jeans.  I just this minute remember that I need to wash my hair." (Halse Anderson 39)

Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "dumpster togs" suggests that Melinda struggles with severe self-consciousness and insecurities.  One can gather this after observing Melinda critically describe her blunt disdain for her personal clothing and style.

Insignificant

"This closet is abandoned- it has no purpose, no name.  It is the perfect place for me." (Halse Anderson 27)

In this quote, Melinda articulates her belief that she fits perfectly into a closet with "no purpose" and "no name". In this, she implies her own personal purposelessness and general insignificance.

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"I turn a corner, open a door, and step into darkness. I hold the doorknob, but Mr. Neck does not touch it. I hear his footsteps lumber down the hall." (Andrewson 25)

She feels like she actually needs to get out of the way of her problems by completely avoiding them entirely. I think the dark closet represents her uncertainty and how she is sort of taking a step away from reality into a place she can call her own since her room does not feel like her own. She is driven into the closet because of the fear that she experiences trying to get away from Mr. Neck.

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"I wish my face in the sink until there is nothing left of it, no eyes, no nose, no mouth. A slick nothing." (Halse Anderson 45)

Melinda waits inside the bathroom to avoid Heather after overhearing her conversation with another girl saying she was "creepy". She decides to wash her face until "nothing" is left. Halse Anderson's use of the word "nothing" suggests that Melinda has "washed her emotions".

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"By the time I find it, the period is almost over. I'm dead. I try to explain it to the librarian, but I keep stuttering and nothing comes out right" (Halse Anderson 24).

The author's use of the phrase "I'm dead," which is commonly spoken when someone is in trouble, demonstrates Melinda's nervousness and anxiety at having gone to the wrong study hall location. Furthermore, the words "try," "stuttering," and "nothing comes out right" portrays Melinda's anxiousness because they show she is unsure of how to explain her predicament to the librarian. Also, stuttering usually occurs when one is nervous.

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"When people point at me or whisper as I walk past, I wave to imaginary friends down the hall to hurry and meet them" (Halse Anderson 33)

Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "I wave to imaginary friends" suggests that Melinda has no one there for her. She has to make up her own "imaginary friends" to hold her up while others say harsh things about her and turn their back on her.

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"My throat squeezes shut as if two hands of black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe."(Anderson 28"

Here Melinda is overcome with such panic that she physically shuts down. The author's use of the words "clamped on my windpipe" suggests that Melinda feels trapped or suffocated. The comments obviously brought up a bad memory with such weight that it even affects her physically.

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"I don't know what to do. I try to soak up the nail polish, but i make the stain bigger." (Halse Anderson 34)

Melinda is at heather's house when Heather has a big outburst and says somethings about Melinda and school and Anderson's use of the phrase I don't know what to do shows that she was in shock of what Heather said, especially when she usually has an answer to everything.

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"I knew I would not get an invitation. I would be lucky to get n invittion to my wn funerl, with my reputation" (Anderson 41).

Its Halloween and Melinda does't have anyone to go trick-or-treating with. She hears Rachel talking about how she is going to a party thrown by one of the exchange students host familes. Anderson's use of the phrase "I knew I would not get an invitation' represents how lonely and unwanted she feels with no friends.

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"She's creepy. What's wrong with her lips? It looks like she's got a disease or something..." I hide in the bathroom until I know Heather's bus has left. The salt in my tears feels good when it stings my lips." (Anderson 45)

In this situation, Melinda seems to be upset or jealous by the fact that her friend Heather is joining a group and the new group thinks Melinda is weird. The words "tears" suggests that Melinda is crying about this instance.

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"IT is in the hallway. IT goes to Merryweather... IT is my nightmare and I can't wake up." (Anderson 45).

Melinda describes this "IT" subject, and compares it to a nightmare she cannot wake up from. Considering nightmares are usually fear-centered dreams, it can be assumed that Melinda views "IT" as a source of fear.

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"My plan is to walk toward the auditorium with the rest of the crowd, then duck in a bathroom until the coast is clear" (Halse Anderson 26)

Andersons use of the phrase "coast is clear" is almost a sigh of fear and hiding. Melinda seems she is hiding from something, she seems to have a fear of the large crowd. She wants to escape them because she enjoys being alone.

"Here people don't even know i exist" (Halse Anderson 34)

This relates back to how she is avoiding them. Im sure soon she will realize the reason why people don't know how she exists is because she hides in fear of what will happen if she stays open to the crowd.

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"If i ever from my own clan, we will be the anti cheerleaders" (Halse Anderson 30)

In this moment Melinda was just knocked down 3 rows of bleachers after the pep rally, and her use of anti cheerleaders and the scenario that went down before this quote shows that she is kind of annoyed or irritated.

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"IT sees me. IT smiles and winks. Good thing my lips are stitched together, or I'd throw up." (Anderson 46).

While Melinda walks in the hall, she sees someone and does not enjoy the interaction. Halse Anderson's use of the words "throw up" suggests that Melinda feels disgusted by the person's gestures towards her when their eyes meet.

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"This closet is abandoned, it has no purpose, no name. It is the perfect place for me" (Anderson 26).

Anderson's use of the word "perfect" shows us that Melinda feels safe in this old abandoned janitors closet.

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"Two hands of black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe." (Anderson 28).

The visual within this phrase allows the reader to feel the alarming panic and anxiety that is present in Melinda. Anderson presents this imagery of a panic attack, the two hands crushing the windpipe.

"I am getting better at smiling when people expect it" (Anderson 32).

This quote hints at the sadness and depression Melinda feels on a day-to-day basis. She has mastered the art of masking her pain with a smile, for the sake of others and herself. Later in the book, she says that she is a good actor, because she has a whole range smiles, which also points to her depression, and feeling the need to hide it from others,

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"I knew I would not get an invitation. I would be lucky to get an invitation to my own funeral, with my reputation" (Anderson 41).

Melinda is all alone on Halloween watching the trick-or-treaters walk by. She mentions that Rachel is going to a party with one of her friends that Melinda is not invited to. Anderon's use of the phrase "I knew I would not get an invitation" shows that Melinda knows that she is alone and has no friends.

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"My parents declare that I am too old to go trick-or-treating. I'm thrilled. This way I don't have to admit that no one invited me to go with them" (Anderson 39)

Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "don't have to admit" suggests that Melinda is embarrassed that no one wants to go with her by showing her trying to hide this from her parents. This idea is only strengthened by Anderson's word choice, using vocabulary with negative connotations like "admit," showing that it is something Milinda wishes not to say.

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"The girl pokes me harder. ' Aren't you the one who called the cops at Kyle Rodgers party at the end of the summer?' A block freezes our section of the bleachers. Heads snap in my direction with the sound of a hundred paparazzi. I cant feel my fingers. I shake my head. "(Anderson 27-28)

This shows Melinda getting very scared of the question and because she is at school with a bunch of people around her where she is trying to make friends and blend in, now she is faced with this question and answers with no, but people already know its her and one girl calls her an "🤬" because their brother got fired and arrested at the party. "I cant feel my fingers" this is a extreme sign of fear because everyone in the section of the bleachers is staring at her, and the fact that  she is already kind of shy as it is.

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"I don't know what to do" (Anderson 34).

Anderson's use of this phrase shows how Melinda was confused in this situation with Heather crying. She didn't know what to do or how to help. Being as quiet and shy she is it may have been difficult for her to deal with her friend and these emotions. It may have been uncomfortable.

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"Why is it so hard to make friends here? Is there something in the water?... Here people don't even know I exist. I get squished in the hall and I don't belong anywhere and nobody cares" (Anderson 34)

Melinda tells Heather that they they are nobody and then goes on to ask why it is so hard to make friends at this new school. Then, Melinda goes on to express how she feels like a nobody here. Laurie Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "I don't belong anywhere and nobody cares" shows that Melinda is angry that nobody cares about her at her new school.

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"IT sees me. IT smiles and winks. Good thing my lips are stitched together or I'd throw up" (Anderson 46)

Halse Anderson use of the reoccurring word "IT" describes and shows Melinda's disgust. When Melinda sees whoever "IT" is, she clearly states how "Good thing my lips are stitched together or I'd throw up". Thus cementing Melinda's disgust.

"Deprived of Victim, Mom and Dad holler at each other. I turn up my music to drown out the noise" (36).

Melinda's use of the name "deprived" and "victim" expresses how tired Melinda is. When she turns to her music to drown out her shouting parents, she becomes unfazed. Unfazed as if this has happened many other times before. And she is tired of it.

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"You don't understand, my headvoice answers. Too bad she can't hear it. My throat squeezes shut, as if two black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe" (Anderson 28).

Andersons use of the phrase "my throat squeezes shut" shows how Melinda is hit with fear when she is questioned with being the one who called the police at a party. She is frightened enough that her throat closes up to where she can't say no or answer the question.

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"It's the most hopeless idea I've ever heard."
(Anderson 35) Melinda doesn't feel like Heather plan will work out how she wants and when Heather gives an idea she turns in down in her head. Saying it's "hopeless right away shows how she has discouraged down point of view belive that things wont work out.

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"My stomach is killing me. Her room isn't big enough for this much emotion. I leave without saying goodbye" (Anderson 35).

The phrase "her room isn't big enough for this much emotion" describes Melinda's belief that her feeling of guilt is too much for her and Heather. She believes that her feelings are too bothersome which prompts her to leave.

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"I checked out a book from the library, Dracula...I settle into my nest with a bag of candy corn and the blood-sucking monster" (Anderson, 41).

Halse Anderson's use of the words "I settle into my nest" suggests that Melinda feels safe because they illustrate a moment where she is finding comfort.

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"These are our role models--the Girls Who Have It All. I bet none of them ever stutter or screw up or feel like their brains are dissolving into marshmallow fluff. They all have beautiful lips..." (Anderson 30).

In this moment, Melinda feels jealous of the cheerleaders that are poor role models, but are rewarded regardless with perfect looks and good grades. Anderson's use of the phrase "the Girls Who Have it All" shows that Melinda thinks that they are perfect in every way while she is falsely accused and mistreated for ruining a party.

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"Me: "We are nobody." " (Anderson 34)

Halse Anderson's use of the word "nobody" while Melinda is talking to Heather suggests that she thinks they are irrelevant and don't matter to anybody or anything causing her to feel sad.

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"We are nobody" (Anderson 34).

Melinda has a very low sense of self-confidence and doesn't consider herself worthy or important. In one of the few times she speaks in this novel, she says "We are nobody" which suggests she feels overlooked and unimportant. The word "nobody" suggests Melinda doesn't even feel like a whole person, she feels unloved and unwanted.

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"I pull my lower lip all the way in between my teeth. If I try hard enough maybe I can gobble my whole self this way" (Anderson 39).

Melinda is up at the board trying to solve a math problem and Rachel is asked to help her. Melinda does not know how to do the math problem and watches Rachel do it. The phrase "gobble my whole self" suggests that Melinda feels embarrassed because wishes she could just disappear. When people are embarrassed, they often want to remove themself from the moment, and Melinda displays this desire. Melinda's action of biting her lip also suggests her embarrassment because it shows that she is uncomfortable in this situation.

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"Ms. Keen is our teacher. I feel kind of sad for her. She could have been a famous scientist or doctor or something. Instead she's stuck with us" (Anderson 37)

Anderson's use of the phrase "Instead she's stuck with us" details how Melinda feels pity for the teacher, having so many talents and ending up teaching ungrateful students.

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Disconnected with herself - Jacob Robello

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Disconnected with herself - Jacob Robello

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Why can't I figure out how to do that? ... A little whisper of Melinda would be nice (Anderson 33)

Here Melinda wonders about why she cannot recreate her room to match her personality like Heather has. Anderson writes "Why can't I figure out how to do that?". This shows how she longs to know how to best represent herself, but cannot figure out a way to do this like Heather has. This makes her feel not in touch with her emotions.

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"I am prepared. I refuse to spend the night moping in my room or listening to my parents argue. I checked out a book from the library, Dracula, by Bram Stoker" (Anderson 40).

Halses Anderson's use of the words "Prepared / refuse" suggest that she is determined to not spend her time moping around or listen to her parents argue. Melinda presents how determined she is by checking out a book for herself to be pre-occupied.

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"l'm dead. I try to explain to the librarian, but I keep spluttering and nothing comes out right."

Melinda is in fear she will get in trouble from the librarian shown in the line "I'm dead" suggesting she feels stuck or in so much fear and shock she could die or fall over. She's also confused trapped, she often has many things on her mind but can't figure out how to say them she''ls trapped by hear inability to communicate what she fells. In the lines " keep spluttering" shows shes repeatably tries to speak. "Nothing comes our right" suggests how after multiple attempted she can't find a way to express her though as she intended them.

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"We are nobody" (34)

Melinda is listening to Heather complain about how non one at her new school cares for anything. Halse Anderson's use of the word nobody suggests that Melinda has already lot hope in finding a clan, and doesn't mind being alone.

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"I would be lucky to get an invitation to my own funeral, with my reputation" (Anderson 41).

In this quote, Melinda is feeling unwanted. By including the word "lucky" she expresses that she feels nobody would even want her to be at her own funeral, and its unlikely she'd get invited.

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"You don't understand, my headvoice answers...my throat squeezes shut, as if two hands of black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe" (Anderson 28).

Anderson's use of the word "clamped" to describe the constricting feeling of Melinda's overwhelming fear. She is confronted and accused of calling the police at a party and it triggers a memory she desperately wishes to forget.

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"I can't tell them what really happened. I can't even look at that part of myself." (Anderson 28)

Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "I can't even look at that part of myself" during the pep rally suggests that Melinda is in pain thinking about that moment due to how impactful and hurtful it is to her.

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"I pull my lower lip all the way in between my teeth. If I try hard enough, maybe I can gobble my whole self this way" (Anderson, 39).

Melinda is standing at the front of her algebra class in this moment, and Halse Anderson's use of "maybe I can gobble my whole self" suggests that Melinda feels nervous or self conscious because she wants to make herself disappear from this situation.

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"This closet is abandoned-- it has no purpose, no name. It is the perfect place for me" (Anderson 26).

Halse Anderson's use of the word "perfect" illustrates how Melinda is at home in her new room. This also may suggest that she feels more comfortable in an empty, abandoned closet in her high school than in her own room. Melinda labeling this new spot as her "burrow," may be foreshadowing a point later on in the book where she feels distressed so she escapes to her "burrow."

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"I keep stuttering and nothing comes out right" (Anderson 24)

In this moment we see Melinda stressed and overwhelmed. She showed up late to class because she did not know where is was so we can imagine she was panicking and the word "stuttering" helps to suggest she was not calm but instead worked up and stressed.

"If I ever form my own clan, we'll be the Anti-Cheerleaders." (Anderson 30)

Here Melinda is showing hatred as she is judging and talking bad about the cheerleaders. The use of the word "anti-cheerleader" shows clearly how strongly she feels against them.

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"I hide in the bathroom until I know Heather's bus has left. ...I wash my face until there is nothing left of it, no eyes, no nose, no mouth" (Anderson 45).

After Siobhan makes a rude comment about Melinda's lips, she feels extremely embarrassed and decides to hide in the bathroom. Halse Anderson's use of the words "until there is nothing left of it" suggests how ashamed Melinda feels of her features and the embarrassment she feels when she hides in the bathroom. This also shows how much she wants to disappear after Siobhan's hurtful comment.

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"Heather has found a clan—the Marthas. She is a freshman member on probation. I have no idea how she did it. I suspect money changed hands. This is part of her strategy to make a place for herself at school. I am supposed to be tagging along. But the Marthas!" (Anderson 42).

Halse Anderson's use of the words "But the Marthas!" suggests that Melinda was surprised that Heather has found herself involved with the Marthas and that this also shows Melinda is doubtful about tagging along with Heather.

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"You don't understand, my head-voice answers. Too bad she can't hear it. My throat squeezes shut, as if two black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe." (Anderson 28)

Melinda says this in response to someone recognizing her and remembering what she had done in the past. She quickly curls up and wishes to disappear. She has become fearful due to people remembering what she has done. Anderson's use of "You don't understand, my head-voice answers" shows how even though Melinda wants to defend herself she is too scared to respond to the people who are angry at her.

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"These are our role models - The Girls Who Have It All. I bet none of them ever stutter or screw up or feel like their brains are dissolving into marshmallow fluff. They all have beautiful lips, carefully outlined in red and polished to a shine" (Anderson 30)

Melinda's detailing of how perfect the cheerleaders are in comparison to her suggests that she is jealous of the life that these people get to lead while she is stuck in the gutters. Anderson's use of the name "The Girls Who Have It All" shows how Melinda dislikes the cheerleaders because she feels unjustly hated by the school while the cheerleaders are so popular

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"Calm down, calm down. Its OK. Don't get upset" (Anderson 24).

Halse Anderson's use of the phrase calm down. Shows that Melinda feels worried or scared, then thankful. The librarian see’s that Melinda is struggling and tells her that she will be marked present and “There is no need for tears' ' (Anderson 25). Melinda then feels thankful because that is the first teacher that understood her problems.

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"She has red laser eyes that burn my forehead... I just this minute remember that i need to wash my hair... The class giggles as we walk back to our seat" (Anderson 39).

In this moment, Melinda is embarrassed because she is self-conscious that her peers are judging her when she stands in front of the class. She comments on her unflattering appearance, and is also embarrassed when Rachelle solves a problem that she could not. Halse Anderson's use of the phrase "red laser eyes" shows how Melinda feels judged and intimidated by Melinda, making her feel embarrassed of her own condition.

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"My throat squeezes shut, as if two hands of black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe" (Anderson 28).

The use of the phrase "clamped on my windpipe" explains Melinda's inability to speak up for herself. This feeling is often showed with fear. The situation was terrifying for her and that resulted in her anxiety.

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"I crumple it into a ball and take out another sheet. How hard can it be to put a tree on a piece of paper?" (Anderson 32).

Melinda tries to draw a tree in this moment, and Halse Anderson's use of the word "crumple" suggests that Melinda feels frustrated because "crumple" is an aggressive word. The rhetorical question also suggests that Melinda is finding drawing a tree difficult.

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"We raced through the night, a clan of untouchable witches" (Anderson 40).

Halse Anderson's use of the word "untouchable" suggests that Melinda felt more safe and confident when she was still friends with Rachel. It also seems that she thought she could Conquer the world just as long as Rachel was on her side.

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"It takes more now. I look Mom square in the eye, then rinse my plate and retreat to my room" (Anderson 36).

In this moment Melinda is being snarky because her parents are giving her a hard time about her grades in school. Apparently she used to be a top student so her grades are a shock to her parents. Halse Anderson's use of "I look my Mom square in the eye" shows how Melinda's facing off her parents; she's not just politely listening to them but knowingly talking back.