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Drug and Addiction Treatment Centers | Promises

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There are no perfect parents. Even conscientious parents who seek to create the best possible home environment will make mistakes along the way and those mistakes will impact their children, just as they were influenced by their own parents. Does this mean that kids who grow up in a home where one or both parents abuse alcohol or drugs are doomed to suffer and repeat the mistakes in their own lives? Thankfully not. It is always possible to break negative cycles. Nevertheless, living in a home with a parent who abuses substances does create problems of which everyone should be aware.
Drug/Alcohol Abuse Leads to Chaos in the Home
When even one parent in the home is abusing alcohol or drugs, the home is significantly more likely to exist in a state of uncertainty and even chaos. The orderliness and predictability that should make home a safe environment are often sacrificed to the parent's addiction. Parents who abuse substances often experience severe mood swings leaving children to be unsure as to how mom or dad will be feeling/reacting on any given day. Household rules may be non-existent because the parent(s) simply is not dependable enough to set them up and uphold them. This state of uncertainty creates a deep sense of insecurity for children.
Kids Take Responsibility in More Ways Than One
Not only are expectations unclear and inconsistent, the lack of structure often means that children are left to take on greater self-reliance. Children may be responsible for keeping the house picked up, preparing their own meals and caring for their younger brothers and sisters. Sadly, addicted parents often blame their children for their own problem saying that if only the kids would stop fighting among themselves, do better in school or keep the house clean they would not be driven to drink or take drugs. Unfortunately, children are only too willing to accept responsibility for the addiction of their parents.
Negative Emotional Impact is a Reality
Even while kids join parents in blaming themselves for the family's turmoil, they also harbor deep resentment that their parent(s) are not willing to overcome their problem out of love for their children. The double-edged sword of self-blame and anger against parents strikes deep. On top of all the rest, children of substance abusing parents are often left alone for extended periods of time leading children to feel rejected and unimportant. Not surprisingly, children who grow up in such homes are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and difficulty in forming adult relationships.
Thankfully, Most Overcome
While the child who grows up in a home with a substance abusing parent experiences a range of negative impacts, it is not necessarily the case that he/she will abuse substances nor wind up with a gloomy future. It is always possible to break negative cycles. In fact, according to groups like Children of Alcoholics (COA) and Children of Substance Abusers (COSA), 75 percent of children form such homes do not abuse drugs or alcohol themselves and through sheer determination manage to overcome the deficiencies of their home life.

If you or a loved one is being impacted by drug abuse, call to speak with a Promises Recovery Specialist.

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How Does Parental Drug Abuse Affect Children

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There are no perfect parents. Even conscientious parents who seek to create the best possible home environment will make mistakes along the way and those mistakes will impact their children, just as they were influenced by their own parents.

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The theme of this book is everyone has a place in this world, some are just too scared to step up to the plate. This describes how each character needs to change in order to step up to their place that will bring them success in the future. For Heather, she needed to become courageous in order to get out of her mother’s house. Bishop needed to understand that he doesn’t always need to protect everyone. Dodge changed from being bent on killing someone to falling in love.

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Levine, Irene. "How Can I Get My Friend to Forgive Me for a Lie?" The Friendship Blog. N.p., 12 June 2015. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

Luden, Jennifer. "When Older Siblings Step Into Parents' Shoes." Arond the Nation. NPR, 10 Nov. 2012. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

Milmo, Cahal. "Paralysis Cure." The Independent. Independent Digital News and Media, 20 Oct. 2014. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

Tesoriero, Heather Won. "Siblings Raising Siblings." Time. Time Inc., 06 May 2001. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

"Anarchist's Cookbook." Disclaimer. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

"How Does Parental Drug Abuse Affect Children." Drug and Addiction Treatment Centers. NAATP, 15 Feb. 2016. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

"How Your Substance Abuse May Have Affected Your Child." Phoenix House. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

"How to Lie to Authority Figures." N.p., 19 May 2008. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

"Living with Paralysis." The Buoniconti Fund to Cure Paralysis & The Miami Project. Muller School of Medicine, n.d. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

"The Making Of A Car Bomb And Other Explosives." Bomb Facts. N.p., 09 May 2010. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.

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http://www.npr.org/2012/11/19/165494944/when-older-siblings-step-into-parents-shoes
http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,108827,00.html
When Heather moved out of her house, she would have done a lot of research on how to raise her sister and if it would affect her negatively. Although she knows that she would be a better parent than her mother, she would still want to be ready for all of the challenges that will come with being a parent. “”I hate her.”. . .She thought of Krista, raging away in the back of a cop car. Her stomach started to unknot. Now everyone would know the truth: how Krista was, and what Heather and Lily were escaping” (375). This quote comes from the scene where her mother is arrested while trying to get Lily back. Heather felt relief when she was gone because if her mother is in jail, she can’t hurt her sister.

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http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/how-can-i-get-my-friend-to-forgive-me-for-a-lie/
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-lie-to-authority-figures/
Bishop seems to be the type of person who always follows the rules no matter what, so he probably needed some guidance when he was presented with the Judge position. “”I told her to do it. I told them all to do it. I started the fire at the Graybill place”. . . His voice broke. He turned to Heather. His eyes were pleading and desperate. “I’m a judge”” (341). This quote comes from the scene when Heather is telling Anne that she lost her tigers. He is shown finally cracking under the pressure of keeping all his secrets. He was also probably very nervous about losing his two best friends, so he most likely did some very embarrassing research about different apologizing techniques.

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Heather would have come across this source during researching how to reduce the affect of her mother’s drug addiction on her sister. Heather would have wanted to become as knowledgeable about how to stand up to her mother even if she didn’t have the courage just yet. “She’d never see Bo again. She’d never see her mother, or Maureen, or the inside of that trailer again. . . Never again- the idea filled her with relief so strong, it almost turned her knees to water and made her trip. But she couldn’t cry, not yet. She had to be strong for Lily” (211). This quote describes how Heather felt when she  made the decision to move out of her house to protect Lily.

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http://articles.courant.com/2010-05-09/business/hc-hc-faq-know-your-bombs-0509.artmay09_1_significant-fireball-car-bomb-dirty-bomb
http://nineball.ve.carpathiahost.net/rat/old/cockbook1.1.txt

These sites he might have used when he was looking for ways to get revenge on Luke Hanrahan. “He was going to win Panic. He was going to do it for Dayna. He was going to do it for revenge” (15). This quote was one of the first thoughts we heard from Bishop. It was clear from the beginning that he as going to make Luke pay for causing his sister’s paralysis. If we read between the lines, we can see that he has not really accepted that even if he hurts or even kills Luke, his sister will not get better. He continues to terrorize the Hanrahan family throughout the summer. “Dodge scrolled down and reread the email he had sent a week earlier. The bets are in. The game is on. I’ll make you a trade: A sister’s legs for a brother’s life” (130). This quote is taken from the part right after Dodge goes to the mall with Nat. In that scene, we have some hope that he will decide to forgo his revenge plot in order to pursue Nat. However, our hope in his redemption is shattered once again.

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http://www.themiamiproject.org/paralysis-support/

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/british-doctors-on-brink-of-cure-for-paralysis-9807010.html

These are websites Dodge would have came across while researching his sister’s condition. Dodge would have been obsessed with finding a cure with his sister’s paralysis. He most likely would have spent all of his free time researching different treatments and doctors that might help her. “He hauled her legs into his lap. Massage was the only thing that would keep them from total atrophy, and he still insisted on working her calves everyday, even though she’d been saying for a long time that it was useless” (60). This quote describes the very close relationship he has with his sister. He thought he needed to step in as her protector and shield her from the devastating truth.

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Oliver doesn’t delve very deeply into Bishop’s past, but we know that he has an aversion to mindless danger. He tries to protect Heather and Nat the best he can because he doesn’t want them to get hurt for no good reason. He decides to keep his position in the game a secret until his lies catch up to him. Bishop eventually accepts that he can’t always control everything and that sometimes following in someone’s footsteps can lead to finding yourself.

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Dodge is first seen as the antagonist who will exact his mysterious revenge with no thought of the drastic consequences. However, his motivation behind his murderous plan somewhat credible. His sister was permanently paralyzed while playing Panic and Dodge is obsessed with making the man responsible pay. Even though he has feelings for Nat, Heather’s best friend, he won’t let them get in the way of punishing Luke Hanrahan. Nevertheless, when his revenge doesn't work out exactly as he planned, he is able to pursue his relationship with Nat. “He was standing in the water with Nat. . . One arm wrapped around Nat’s waist. They looked amazing together, like statues carved from different colored rocks” (407). This quote comes from the very last chapter of the novel, we see him finally happy and accepting of what the future brings.

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We first see Heather as a normal teenage girl with normal teenage problems. She was just dumped by her boyfriend and spontaneously decides to join Panic. Soon, we learn her life is a little more complicated. Heather has been neglected by her drug addicted mother her whole life and has stepped in as the main caregiver for her younger sister. She has learned how to survive in as best she can and this is what helps her outlast every other player in Panic. Throughout the summer, Heather gets the courage to stand up to her mother and learn to depend on herself instead of others. By the end of the novel, Heather is ready to face the aftermath of winning Panic and the many challenges that comes with raising a younger sibling on your own.

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Panic is a deadly game graduating seniors play to win a large sum of money. Heather is sick of being treated like she doesn’t matter, so she makes a life changing decision at the last second. Bishop is forced to control the game he has always hated while trying to protect the girl he loves. Dodge just wants revenge on the man who ruined his sister’s life forever. My favorite part of this novel was when Heather finally had the courage to stand up to her drug addicted mother and leaves the house to protect her little sister. I would give the book a four out of five because some parts of the book were unnecessarily added. However, overall  I would recommend this to anyone who likes coming of age books with multiple shocking plot twists.