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Emotion management is crucial in my role as a Contact Centre Agent for Service Ontario, Social Assistance. I work closely with callers who are upset, frustrated, or stressed about their financial situation, about being made to wait, or about who knows what else. Although I deal with a lot of frustrated and upset callers, I have to make sure that I stay calm, cool, and professional, and most importantly neutral, at all times.

There comes a time when a call is just too difficult and too upsetting for the Agent. It could even be that the Caller is experiencing a traumatic event, in which case they have probably lost all form of rational thought and will speak to you in the most aggressive and disrespectful way. I have to work through the aggressive and disrespectful call and provide a professional response.

Even though I feel stress, frustration, and sympathy internally, I have to keep my emotions under control and my professional tone for the entire interaction. This guaranteed that we uphold our value and our commitment to consistently and respectfully serving all callers, regardless of how difficult and upsetting the situation is.

I have to keep my professional and personal emotions apart, which is another excellent example of feeling and controlling emotions in the scope of work-related activities. -Saron Woldeyesus

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When I first started looking into emotion management, it sounded like a pretty academic term, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that we do it constantly. At its core, I see it as the invisible work we do to keep our outward reaction in line with what a situation expects from us.

I find myself doing this the most when meeting new people. Being myself in a new environment can be rewarding, but it’s also high-pressure(or maybe that's just because I'm an introvert). There are definitely days when things feel sideways, and I can't let it show in the room I'm in.

So, I perform a bit of masking and sometimes force myself to put on a calm, collected, and optimistic face. I find this active choice to shift from what I’m actually feeling to what the situation needs me to project, or more so, who I need to be in the moment, helps make it real. It isn't so much about being fake; it is more about maintaining an internal environment.

Looking back, it’s interesting how much energy goes into managing our emotions to make sure we show up a certain way to the people around us. We are always adapting our internal state to match our external roles. Social structures are clearly a huge part of how we navigate our daily lives, whether we deny it or not.

Deezy

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I think we all need to practice emotion management in our daily lives.For example ,at work,if we meet a difficult customer,we need to stay calm and exlain things patiently instead of losing our temper. In our personnal lives, we also face many stressful situations, so it is important to conyrol our emotions and think carefully before reacting,When we disagree with family members or people we care about, we should try to understand their perspective and communicate rerspectfully. As an adult student, I also use emotion managements or exams. Instead of giving up, I try to star calm and focus on solving the problem. Overall, emotion management helps us maintain healthy relationships and make better decisions.

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This actually happened a few months ago during the previous semester. There was this kid who happened to be a 1st year like myself who at first "allegedly" called someone the "n-slur." This was alleged to me because I didn't want to accept the fact in that moment that could've been true, and also because he was not black. In that moment, I regulated my emotions and did not want to act on anything. However, this happened 5 more times and after I found out he picked on one of my friends, I confronted him in a manner that even took myself by surprise. Obviously going all ballistic on someone who is practically a stranger is the last thing I would've done, but despite him doing something bad, I personally think I didn't say or do anything unethical to him back was simply because it was the right thing to do.

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One situation where I have had to engage in emotion management is while working as a bartender and server. During a shift, I sometimes encounter rude or disrespectful customers who may complain, speak aggressively, or blame me for things that are outside of my control. In those moments, it can be frustrating and upsetting, but I know I cannot respond the way I might want to. In the service industry, there is often an expectation that "the customer is always right" so I have to remain polite and professional regardless of how I feel. What makes it challenging is that after the interaction is over, I do not have much time to process it. I have to put a smile back on my face, walk over to the next table, and act as though nothing happened. This is an example of emotion management because I am actively controlling and suppressing my emotions in order to meet the expectations of my job and provide positive customer service.

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I would argue that we are constantly engaging in emotion management! I practice managing my emotions in my personal relationships when my nervous system is triggered. I also practice emotion management at work when providing customer service. Conflict with my coworkers also requires emotion management. I have three cats that often wake me up in the middle of the night via chaos, requiring emotional management to just give them a little kiss and kick them out of my room. I think we are constantly managing our emotions. Different social roles expect different levels of emotional management. For example, what might be appropriate to express to your friends would not be appropriate to express in a professional environment or at a dinner with your coworkers.

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During middle school, that was supposed to be a place to learn and hang out, but it often felt like I was in a constant battle. During recess, there were whispers, and I would get picked on or excluded for no reason. It was exhausting, and honestly, it really hurt. There were days I just wanted to disappear or scream back at them.

That was when I had to learn how to manage my emotions, even though I shouldn't have been put in that position in the first place. The anxiety I got every day walking through those doors made me learn to take deep breaths and regulate my emotions so I wouldn’t get mad immediately if someone said something mean to me or burst into tears in front of everyone. I kept my head up, refused to give them the reaction they were looking for, and reminded myself that their words didn't define who I was.

As I got older, my environment at school also improved. As we matured, some of the individuals who were mean to me in middle school apologized for how they treated me, which I know takes a lot of courage and humility to do, so it meant a lot to me. My experiences led me to learn how to regulate my emotions and understand the importance of thinking before acting.

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engage in emotion management?

One situation in which I have had to engage in emotion management is while working in customer service. There were times when I felt stressed, frustrated, or exhausted, but I still had to present myself as friendly and positive when interacting with customers. Even if I was having a difficult day, I was expected to smile, remain professional, and provide good service.

Another example is when I am around friends or family members while dealing with personal struggles. There have been times when I felt overwhelmed, anxious, or upset, but I did not want others to worry about me. Instead, I acted cheerful and told people that everything was fine even when I was having a difficult time. In these situations, I was managing my emotions in order to meet social expectations and maintain positive interactions with others.

This can be connected to Goffman's concept of impression management. People often try to control how others see them by presenting a certain image of themselves. In my case, I sometimes present myself as calm, confident, and happy even when I may be feeling something completely different internally.

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Week 5 - Emotional Management at workplace. 

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Week 5 - Emotional Management at workplace. 

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One situation I experienced where I had to engage in emotion management was during a particularly busy day in my current role as a regional manager and valuation specialist. On that day, the workload was unusually high, and I was responsible for handling multiple tasks at once while also coordinating with different team members. The situation became more stressful because several employees were not fully cooperative and often relied on management for answers to questions they were trained to handle independently. Instead of attempting to resolve issues through proper internal communication, they would directly escalate them, which added to the pressure and interruptions throughout the day.

During this busy period, I experienced feelings of stress and frustration due to the constant demands and the need to manage multiple responsibilities at the same time. However, despite these emotions, I consciously regulated my reactions and maintained a calm and professional attitude when interacting with team members. I ensured that I responded in a supportive manner rather than expressing frustration or becoming aggressive, as maintaining a positive and functional work environment was important for overall team performance. This situation reflects the concept of emotion management, where individuals control and adjust their emotional expressions to meet workplace expectations. In this case, I had to manage my emotions carefully in order to remain professional, avoid conflict, and ensure that the work environment remained stable and productive even under pressure.

-Janvi Patel

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As a parent, I practice emotion management on a daily basis. Parenting requires me to stay calm even in difficult situations when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed. When my children are upset, arguing (which happens very often), or having a difficult moment, I cannot allow my emotions to dictate my response. Instead, I try to manage my own emotions first so that I can respond to my children in a way that helps them feel safe, understood, and supported. Emotion management can come about in different ways, depending on the situation. Sometimes it may mean taking deep breaths, lowering my voice, using humour to lighten the mood, or taking some space to emotionally regulate.

It is very important to model emotional control because children learn by example, therefore showing them how to manage frustration or stress helps them internalize healthy ways to respond when they experience their own difficult moments. Even when I am dealing with my own worries, school responsibilities or everyday pressures, I try to maintain a calm environment for my children. This does not mean pretending that everything is perfect, but it does mean I need to be mindful of how my emotions can affect my response and to ensure my children never feel responsible for my emotions. To me, this is a strong example of emotion management because I am in a constant balancing act with what I feel internally and how to mindfully express my emotions.

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Week 5 Activity. Emotional Management - Volunteer

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Week 5 Activity. Emotional Management - Volunteer

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One situation where I had to engage in emotional management was when I served as a youth leader and a kids leader at church. In that role, I was responsible for over 30 youths per leader and 15 kids, depending on the week. I had to guide them and teach them, which meant I had to stay calm, patient, and consistently respectful even when situations became frustrating or, perhaps, overwhelming. As everyone knows, children are not always the most behaved, and may not listen all that well, so when they didn't follow rules or listen quickly to instructions, I had to manage my reactions and my expectations of the children to ensure I was understanding and capable of dealing with it gracefully.

There were for sure times when I felt annoyed, stressed, and tired, especially because we would sleep at 11 and wake up at 4 to set up and get everything ready for the day. Mixing that with personal day-to-day problems and work, it was a recipe for disaster without managing my emotions. No matter what, I was not going to allow myself to show this in a negative way. My father always told us, as a surgeon who works 16 hours a day, to come back to 5 kids, he had to tell himself not to get frustrated constantly or to shout. This is something I learned from him and maintained in my internships and volunteer experience. It meant I had to set the tone for the group and respond with patience instead of anger or frustration.

I also had to manage my emotions when dealing with conflicts between kids or when someone was acting out. Even if I personally felt upset by the behaviour, I had to prioritise keeping the environment safe, respectful, and welcoming. This experience taught me that emotion management is important in leadership because people often look to you for stability, especially when they are younger or still learning how to manage their own emotions.

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The situation that stands out the most to me is one day when I was working at Canadian Tire in customer service. Since I work at the front of the store, I interact with many customers throughout my shift. On this day someone I have a bad history with walked into the store and I saw them before they saw me. I felt immediately panicked and I wanted to run away and hide. Despite my feelings, I knew my job is important and I could not just leave the  customer service counter. Instead, I crouched down and stayed out of sight while continuing to watch the exit. This gave me some time to regulate my breathing and calm myself down. Luckily I also had some coworkers who knew about this situation, and having their support helped me manage my emotions.

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When I worked as a Child & Youth Worker I had to deal with emotional management daily with different ages of children and/or teenagers in a group home. As soon as I was on the floor monitoring and mentoring, I had to keep my own personal emotions and opinions to myself. When dealing with the emotional behaviour of the youth, you have to stick to the policies that the workplace has in place on how to handle certain situations. I personally would not agree with some of the policies in place as it does not always apply to every youth.

As youth get older, and their hormone levels begin to increase, sometimes they're not able to process their emotions or behaviour as well as another youth the same age. Resulting in behavioural issues. An example would be lashing out and being aggressive when they don't get their own way. You come across youth where the circumstances they were brought up in are the source of their emotional and behavioural issues; and you could never blame it on them. However, I had to stick to my "guns" and ensure the youth are following the rules for a safe and respectful environment within the group home.

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When I was in high school I was on the cheer team. There was a lot of conflict between myself and my team mates as they would often call me names and start rumors about me. This made me feel angry and as though I wanted to lash out. But I knew if I did that I would get kicked off of the team. So instead I had to take deep breathes, and remove myself from situations. This allowed me to stay calm and manage my emotions.

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At the restaurant I previously worked at I had to engage in emotion management often. It is a common occurrence having to manage complaints from customers, but sometimes customers elevate situations. In a particular instance, a man was attempting to get a table for him and his family. He had insisted he booked a reservation, but there was no reservation in the system. We were fully booked for the night and there was not a single table we could offer him. The host looked multiple times in the system and even looked on different days to see if he had made an error. The man got agitated with each question the host asked. He began to insult the host’s intelligence and made other rude comments. I went over to the host stand, as he had made her visibly upset. I calmly informed him that everything our host had done was the correct procedure and that it could have been a mistake on the website’s end or his end and that bringing a teenage girl to tears would not make a table appear for his party. The man continued to make some distasteful comments and I requested that him and his family leave the restaurant. He demanded to speak to a manager and I informed him she wasn’t currently here but I would be more than happy to provide her email.

It took emotion management for me to calmly interact with this man as he was being rude and aggressive for a mistake that was not due to any of the staff working. It was a challenge some days to not engage in the same behaviour you would be presented with, especially when they insult the staff as people. In order to be able to remain calm and professional while I was serving I often had to engage in emotional labour. After this particular instance, and many others I went into the walk-in freezer and screamed for roughly two minutes to release my frustration. This was my go to method while on shift. Outside of work I would lift weights and meditate to ensure I was regulated when going into my shifts.

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In my workplace, there are some co-workers who like to monitor my work. nit pick everything I work on and escalate small mistakes to management in order to appear superior or gain “brownie points” with management. There is one co-worker who is 26 years old and I am 33 years old. She speaks to me in a very condescending combative way. Inside, I feel very defensive, angry and triggered emotionally. I feel like “you are much younger than me with a lot less professional experience, how do you have the nerve to speak to me in this way?”  I feel like I want to defend myself or fight with her. In a work place, you always need to protect your own reputation and take emotion out of any responses because that is what is expected of you. Instead of arguing or trying to prove myself, I manage my emotions and respond in a purely professional facts based manner. If I were to react instead of calmly respond, I’d risk damaging my own reputation, losing my income, and damaging my career progress.

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The one time I really did need to manage my emotions was at work when my boss was critiquing me for tasks I did incorrectly. The worst part was that another manager had previously told me to do just that. My employer was angry and said to me not to do it like that again. I didn't like it because I was being blamed for executing my orders, and I was also friends with the other manager, so it was awkward. Although I was upset, I was able to keep my emotions in check and to remain respectful. Rather than fighting and getting upset, I listened to my boss and took the advice. Later, I spoke to the other manager to explain what the proper procedure was. This experience demanded emotion management, as I felt I was unfairly criticized and had to keep my frustration at bay and stay professional.

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Week 5 Backpack Activity: Visshnee Thirikaran

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Week 5 Backpack Activity: Visshnee Thirikaran

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One situation in my life where I had to engage in emotion management was while working at Tim Hortons during busy rush hours. There were times when customers became frustrated about long wait times or mistakes with their orders. Even when I felt stressed, overwhelmed, or annoyed, I had to remain calm, polite, and professional. Instead of showing my true emotions, I managed my feelings by staying patient and focusing on providing good customer service. During these moments, I also remind myself that I can control my own emotions but not other people’s emotions, which helps me stay grounded and not take things personally. This experience reflects emotion management because I adjust my emotional expressions to meet workplace expectations. Working at Tim Hortons has taught me how to regulate my emotions in challenging situations.

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I have so many experiences with this because of the kind of job I have. I work in returns and exchanges at Canadian Tire which is not the best place on earth to return something. The policy I have to follow is not returning anything that has been opened or used, which I know upsets a lot of customers and honestly if I was a customer I’d be upset too. However there are so many people that will freak out when I tell them the store policy. So many times I have had people swear at me, I have been screamed at, or I’ve just been insulted by people who do not agree with the policy. When this happens I do my best to remember to not take it personally, I know the person isn’t really mad at me they are just frustrated about not getting their money back and that helps me stay calm and not yell back or break down in front of people, and honestly I find that when I let a customer know that I’d love to give them a refund but I’m not able to and I listen to everything they have to say, it usually keeps the citation under control. So I’m constantly having to use emotional management skills everyday at work so that I am able to help customers to the best of my ability.

- Olivia Dixon

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One situation in my life where I had to engage in emotion management was while working at a nursing home. There were many moments where residents were upset, confused, or emotional, and even if I felt stressed or overwhelmed, I still had to remain patient, calm, and caring. Working in that kind of environment meant managing my own emotions so that residents felt safe and supported. There were many times residents became frustrated or repeated the same questions many times because of memory loss or confusion. Even if it was an emotionally draining and demanding job, I had to continue responding kindly and respectfully instead of showing other emotions like frustration or sadness. That experience helped me understand emotional management because I often had to control my true feelings and display emotions that matched the expectations of the job. In a nursing home setting, workers are expected to provide emotional support and comfort, even during stressful situations, which requires a lot of emotional self-control.  - Jayda Tripp-MacDonald

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Emotional Management - W5 Madeleine Rose

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Emotional Management - W5 Madeleine Rose

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I have had many experiences where I have had to use emotional management in my life. Wether being at work, in relationships, in friendships, with strangers, etc. I would say the best example that comes to mind is in my career working in different homeless shelters I have experienced being a witness and 'first responder' to an overdose or mental health crisis. When you are exposed to these kind of situations you have no time to fall into the emotional side and you have to deal with the danger infront of you in order to support and sometimes save the other person. I was working with an individual who overdosed on fentanyl in the main area lobby of the shelter, I had to act fast to administer naloxone and call 911. I was also required to perform chest compressions and place the individual in the recovery position until the paramedics arrived. I have had similar experiences since then and every time I have had to engage in emotional management skills to keep myself and others safe.

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I recently ended a three-year relationship. It was very sad, even though it was ultimately what I needed to do, but the next day I had to go to work. While I was not breaking down in despair, I was feeling off, and didn’t really want to do anything that day. I went, though—because of some (likely socialized) internal pride about not missing work—and it was pretty uncomfortable. The interesting thing is, I have a decent amount of downtime at my job (it was a slow day at the movie theatre), and I’m close with several of my coworkers, with whom I could’ve genuinely shared my feelings, and they would’ve wanted to listen and talk; but despite telling them about the breakup, I insisted, and felt an irrational pressure to continue insisting, that I was okay, that “it was my decision, so I’m not too torn up about it.” Where did this resistance come from? Why, despite the friendly environment, did I still want to maintain a cool facade when in reality I was feeling terrible? It would be one thing if I were expected to be corporately content for the customers’ sake—then I would push through and make it to the end of the day—but I didn’t even have to! This suggests that the pressure to regulate one’s emotions in social settings is even stronger than I initially thought. Unconscious gender dynamics might be at play here; it might not be “masculine” to be vulnerable or emotional in that way. But if I were asked, I would say I don’t believe in that stuff. Yet this is how I found myself behaving. It’s strange, but it’s also a helpful skill, in case it’s ever truly necessary.

--Graham

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I studied very hard for one of my tests. As soon as I started looking at the questions, I could feel my anxiety rising because I was scared to mess up a question and get it wrong. I could feel myself getting overwhelmed, and I felt my heart beating fast, but I knew I had to stay focused in order to continue to try my best. Instead of panicking, I calmed myself down and focused on the easier questions first. Even though I was nervous inside, I had to control those emotions so I could concentrate and finish the test properly. I had to regulate my anxiety and present a calm, focused attitude in a stressful situation.

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My parents are divorced and I prefer to stay at my dads but every so often when I go and visit my mom and my sisters I have to engage in emotion management. My mother tends to be unintentionally mean towards me and my siblings, so I want to make sure that if I have any harsh opinions or if I am feeling extremely upset towards my mom I need to make sure that I keep my feelings and possible hurtful thoughts to myself and unleash it to my best friend or my dad. They tend to help me destress and regulate my overwhelming emotions by allowing me to share my opinions in a judge free zone and gives me feedback on things that I might’ve taken the wrong way.

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When I worked as a floor sales associate at a Beer store, I had to deal with emotional management daily, working face to face with people from multiple walks of life, struggling with different social issues. In the particular area of the store, our most common customers were older men dealing with alcoholism. As a young, freshly 18 year old girl, every day I entered my shift with a fresh attitude and happy face, as you do in retail settings. My training taught me the ins and outs of selling beer, the store's policies and how to work independently while handling various retail situations. This I had no trouble with; however, I was dealing with a lot of inner turmoil due to the realities of where I was working. While I can say that many of my customers and I had positive interactions, it was difficult to cope with the distress caused by the bad ones. As many of the customers were struggling with severe alcoholism, impulse control and the amplification of their negative emotions, as well as their struggles to regulate speech and behaviour, were often directed to employees of the store, including me. When they were sober and dealing with withdrawals, these customers were highly irritable and prone to lashing out at us. Some examples I can recall on an everyday basis were insulting comments, yelling, straight-up slurs, customers throwing objects and various threats. An issue that was especially challenging to deal with was the sexual harassment, as the only young woman in the store.

Something that helped me overcome this was being mindful of customers' circumstances and remembering the reality of their struggles. To take the blame out of the situation was a matter of my emotional liberation as well as theirs. Since their circumstances were not their fault, their behaviour towards me wasn't mine. As a young woman entering the workforce for the first time, I found it hard to depersonalize these situations, but actively practicing empathy was a powerful step. This helped me stay in my job and overcome my issues while adhering to store policy and being the best I could be given my circumstances.

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A situation in my life when I had to manage my emotions was when I was at work and my grandpa was in surgery having a major surgery. At my work, you are not allowed your phone at all no matter what unless you are on break or punched out. So my whole shift I was thinking about my grandpa and how his surgery was going and I could not pay attention to what I was doing at work. Eventually I realized me thinking about it the whole shift and not being able to work properly was not going to help anything so I put my emotions to the side and I kept working and I was still thinking about my grandpa but I was doing my work to my full potential at the same time.

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A situation in my life in which I have had to practice emotion management occurred during family gatherings when there has been arguments or tense discussions among family members. For instance, there has been times when a discussion became awkward or more intense because it touched upon sensitive issues of a person's life. In those circumstances, if I feel stressed, annoyed or frustrated and I do not agree with something that is being discussed, I will do my best not to reflect those emotions outwardly.

I might display a neutral/calm face, listen, but do not cut into the conversation and I try to guide the conversation to avoid a heated one. I knew that if I expressed myself truthfully about how I feel, the conversation might become more uncomfortable, so, I managed how I externalize my feelings to comply with the social expectation of a peaceful gathering. this situation was an example of emotion management because i have to actively control and regulated how i displayed my feelings and this is not the same as how i actually feel so i have to adjust my presentation of how i feel towards a certain social setting particularly as i felt I would create an un comfortable atmosphere if I had shown how i felt.

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One situation in my life where I have had to use emotion management is at school because of my hearing disability. Sometimes it is difficult for me to hear or fully understand teachers, class discussions, or instructions, especially in noisy classrooms or during fast conversations. This can make school stressful and frustrating because I may need things repeated or explained differently.

There have been times when I felt embarrassed or anxious about asking teachers or classmates to repeat themselves because I did not want to feel different from everyone else. Even when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed, I try to stay calm and focused in class. I continue trying my best, use my accommodations and technology, and ask questions when I need help.

This is an example of emotion management because I often have to control my emotions and stay positive even when school feels challenging because of my hearing disability. Instead of showing my frustration or giving up, I try to manage my feelings so I can continue learning and participating in school.

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In my work, I have had to deal with emotion management a lot. I work customer service amongst other things at Petsmart, and safe to say I deal with a lot of angry customers. I think that the most common is customers who are looking to buy an animal, but are not well enough informed to own the animal. Us as workers reserve the right to deny a sale of an animal to a customer if we do not think that the animal will live a beneficial life with the customer. So, when we do make that tough decision, we receive a lot of angry comments from said customers even accusing us of "not knowing what we are talking about" which can really drive up emotions. It is easy for adrenaline to rise when someone questions your knowledge especially when it comes to something you believe you are particularly well-informed of, so I have to practice a lot of emotional management with these customers as to not deviate from Petsmart's expectations. I have been told by many of my coworkers that I am one of the best at the store for managing this, however it does still get on my nerves very often.

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When thinking of emotion management I find the best case where I had to practice this would be working as a timekeeper for junior hockey. As a time keeper it was my responsibility to organize game logistics prior, during, and after the game with both refs and teams. Partly due to the high level hockey being played, oftentimes coaches and their players would create situations upon which are often provoking or may raise one's emotions and I found many times I wanted to say something or respond in a certain way of my choosing. As the person who is supposed to also be almost like a mediator between refs and the teams I was required to exhibit and perform emotion management. As someone being employed and paid I had a duty to act in a mature and professional manner and keep my feelings and emotions separate from my job as I am supposed to be an unbiased party which can be challenging at times due to the conflict that occurred far too often. The scenario I often found came up the most would be when players ended up in the penalty box after a scrum and they would attempt to get to the other teams players both verbally and physically. I would have to manage my feelings towards the situation as I would often know the people fighting and I had to ensure regardless of the words said or actions taken either against me or anyone I knew that I had handled the situation without my feelings of anger or discomfort prevent me from keeping things professional and maintaining both separation of the players and control over the situation in an unbiased and orderly matter.

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One instance in which I had to practice emotion management occurred during my work at Tim Hortons. Customer service required me to stay calm, polite, and respectful of customers who were at times angry, impatient, or rude during peak hours. No matter how stressed out or frustrated I might be, I still had to stay calm, professional, and respectful by smiling and continuing to serve them despite the fact that I might be anything but cheerful or relaxed.

My experience can be considered an example of emotion management since in such situations, one is expected to control and regulate one's own emotions to align with job requirements. Instead of letting me be myself and express how I really feel in such instances, I managed my emotions to be what I should be to fit into the role of the customer service provider.

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As an international student, homesickness is something I have genuinely had to learn to manage and it has been one of the most challenging and ongoing parts of my experience here. When I first came to Canada from India on my own, I truly believed I was ready for everything that was coming my way and those first few months were honestly filled with so much excitement and happiness. However it did not take long before homesickness hit me and everything just became overwhelming and hard to deal with.

The moments that hit the hardest were during the festivals like Diwali or family gatherings back home.When I think about it I am just a video call away but the reality is that it is thousands of kilometers and that distance hits differently than I expected. During those times all I wanted was to drop everything and go back to my parents but that was never really an option.

The toughest part for me has been not being able to see my family for three years and whenever we are on a video call I work really hard to seem fine and act normal because I don’t want them to worry about me.

Even after feeling all the mixed emotions, I still have to wake up the next morning, go to class and act like everything is completely fine, even when there's always this pressure to look like I am doing okay, especially when everyone around me seems so happy. While I am questioning the decision of coming here.

I often think about where my home is now because when I went back that one summer, things felt different and the life I have been building here for three years has quietly become a part of me.

Tvishaa Desai

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There are a lot of situations in life where emotional management and emotional labour are needed in order to understand and solve the situation. Talking about my personal life, there was a time when I was living with my partner for a long time, and I took the most difficult decision of moving out and continuing my study in a different province. The sudden change and concept of resocialization really changed my life because of stress, anxiety, emotional instability, feelings of loneliness and totally different environments. The burden of adjusting to a new environment doubled when my partner did not fully understand how difficult the move was for me, and it was a really hard but important decision for me. I wanted to give some time to the relationship and myself in order to understand what was right and wrong or how I feel when circumstances change and become more difficult in life. The differences in opinion challenged my goals, motivation, and emotional well-being. I wanted to get away with the feeling of emptiness and being unproductive, and until now in many conversations, directly or indirectly, my decision of moving out is criticised through comments which make me question myself and lead to feelings of guilt, poor decision-making, stress and emotional conflict.

I often think no one understands a person or tries to understand one from their perspective; everything seems so conditional even though there is an idea that unconditional love exists in this socially constructed world. Even now, I continue trying to make my partner understand my emotional difficulties, but I often feel unheard and misunderstood. I try to regulate and manage emotions through deep conversations and open communication, but it seems that my efforts are temporary and situational because the same criticism and misunderstandings return and make me question myself; why my perspective is not fully understood despite putting in all the effort?

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There are many instances in which I have had to engage in emotional management. One particularly significant experience is my current job as a waitress. During a shift, I interact with dozens of customers from all walks of life, backgrounds, and cultures. There are various challenges that I experience on a daily basis, and in order to effectively do my job, I must be able to control my emotions.

One example of a situation in which I exhibited emotional management was during my communication with a customer. I took their order, and they told me that they wanted rye bread instead of white bread. However, after reading the order back to them, I mistakenly mentioned white bread. The customer became upset because, from their perspective, they had clearly said “rye.” What I did not explain to the customer was that, because of the language barrier between us, I genuinely had difficulty understanding him.

Toronto is a multicultural city, meaning people from many different backgrounds and cultures live here. In addition, Toronto and the Greater Toronto Area are home to many immigrants. I myself am the child of someone who immigrated from another country. As a person who was born in Canada, English is my first language because the educational system in this country teaches children English from a young age.

In The Social Construction of Reality, Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann state that, “The reality of everyday life is taken for granted as reality” (Berger & Luckmann, 1966, p. 4). In other words, what is considered a “social norm” or “normal” in society is only viewed that way because people collectively accept it as such. In this case, because of history and colonization, English is my first language, but it was not the customer’s first language. As a result, my understanding of “rye” sounded like “white.” This does not mean that either person in this scenario had poor communication or comprehension skills. Rather, it demonstrates that the English language can sound different depending on the individual speaking it. The belief that English should sound a certain way when spoken is a socially constructed idea that can be harmful. This is why, regardless of how I interpreted what the customer said, emotional control was imperative in handling the situation professionally.

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A situation in my personal life where I have to engage in emotion management is whenever I am out in public. I have really bad social anxiety and in order to cope I have to use emotional management skills I have learned through attending therapy. When I am in public I tend to feel scared, paranoid, and overall, just anxious. In return I cope with emotional management strategies such as fidgeting, rerouting my thinking patterns, and removing myself from some situations when necessary.

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I work at a golf course and resort as an events coordinator, and although I am thankful to have a job that I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to each day, there have been situations where guests became frustrated due to delays, booking issues, weather affecting events, or problems during golf tournaments and special events such as weddings. Even when I felt stressed or believed the situation was outside of my control, I still had to remain calm, polite, and professional while helping resolve the issue. I had to manage my emotions so guests felt heard and respected, which is especially important in hospitality work.

In addition, I am responsible for organizing, planning, and running events, which often requires balancing the expectations and needs of many different people at once. When complaints arise, I do my best to remain open-minded and create an understanding environment where guests and cottage owners feel listened to and respected. I have also dealt with situations involving guests whose behaviour made others uncomfortable. In those situations, I have had to manage my frustration while still remaining stern and professional in addressing inappropriate behaviour.

Abigail

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Gabriella Pershad - Emotional Management

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Gabriella Pershad - Emotional Management

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I once had to practice managing my emotions while working a particularly stressful shift in customer service. Even though I had no control over the lengthy wait, a client grew irate and became combative with me. I was defensive, nervous, and irritated on the inside, but I knew that responding emotionally would probably make things worse.

Rather, I had to deliberately control my feelings by remaining composed, speaking courteously, and demonstrating compassion for the client. Even though I didn't directly create the problem, I concentrated on keeping a cordial tone, paying close attention, and expressing regret for the difficulty. Following the encounter, I came to understand that emotion management entailed regulating my external emotional responses in order to adhere to workplace standards and maintain a professional atmosphere.

I learned from this experience that people frequently control their emotions in different ways depending on the social context. Certain positions or situations need people to show themselves calmly and professionally even while they are internally anxious.

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One situation in my life where I had to engage in emotional management happened about two years ago during a championship golf tournament. At the time, I was 17 years old and competing against women who were around 20. Qualifying for the championship had taken a lot of physical practice and mental dedication, so I was extremely proud of myself for making it there. A few holes into the round, I was playing really well, but one of the girls in my group told me that the others thought I was “bunny hopping” on the green while lining up my putts. After that comment, I became very aware of everyone watching me every time I putted, which made me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. Throughout the round, one of the girls continued making comments about me, and instead of focusing on my game, I became focused on what others thought of me. Eventually, the pressure and emotions started affecting my performance. On one par 3 hole, I got stuck in the lip of a bunker and it took me several shots to get out. While this was happening, an older man watching the tournament said, “Only people who know how to golf should be playing in this tournament.” Hearing that completely broke my confidence, and I started crying and blaming myself. After that experience, I struggled with a lot of anxiety during golf tournaments. However, my grandparents and close friends constantly reassured and supported me during difficult moments. Their encouragement helped me manage my emotions in a healthier way and reminded me that one bad experience does not define my abilities. Looking back, this experience taught me the importance of emotional management, resilience, and surrounding yourself with supportive people who create a positive and safe environment.

Maddie Nelson

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One recent situation where I had to engage in emotion management was when I interviewed for my current job. I do not like dressing up and usually wear jeans and hoodies, I also am a very nervous person with lots of stress and anxiety. For this interview I did not want my first impression to be an unprofessionally dressed person full of nerves. I made sure that I wore nice pants and a blouse and tried my best to hide the anxiety I was feeling, through speaking loudly, not using filler words, and sitting properly/confidently. Now that I have the job, I have become more relaxed, but I still feel like I have to put on a show every time I have to go into work.

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One situation in my life where I had to engage in Emotion management was working at the daycare. There were times when children would become upset, refuse to listen, or act out during busy parts of the day, which could sometimes feel stressful or even overwhelming. Even when I felt frustrated or tired  I had to remain calm, patient, and caring because the children depend on me to create a positive and safe environment. I also had to reassure parents and communicate professionally, even on difficult days. This experience demonstrates emotion management because I had to control and adjust my emotions to meet the expectations of my job and support the children efficiently.

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One unforgettable experience I had with emotional management came after my dad’s passing. The news came as a shock, and the impact was so profound that its effects lingered for months in my heart (this is not to say I have completely forgotten about him, but the pain is no longer as severe as it was when it happened). This incident helped me understand grief. There are no words to explain it unless it is experienced. I lost my joy. I found that I could not laugh, and when I did, it was not heartfelt. I didn’t need to tell anyone that something terrible had happened to me; they just knew when they saw me. Returning to work was the most difficult because I had to be careful not to make any errors when administering medications and caring for my patients. Sometimes I went to the bathroom just to let my emotions out with tears. During this time, I found “Tears” to be a powerful tool in dealing with grief because it gave me so much relief. And of course, I had amazing co-workers who understood what I was going through and offered words of encouragement and engaged me in different topics to keep my focus away from my loss throughout that critical phase of grief.

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I am going through a tough time right now where I think I am engaged to emotion management, so I work 30+ hours in a busy store. I am dealing with my family, mental health, anxiety, minor memory loss, my studies, and my career. Recently, I argued with my mother, who thinks late-night outings are bad and I should be home by 7 pm. My parents do not have issues if I am working till 11 pm or midnight; they are okay with that, but the moment I say that I am going out with my friends, suddenly their behaviour will be change and cross-questioning will get started. Anyways, arguing with my mom went so far that I have given up on her and given up on trying to make her understand that I am 23 now and I can do whatever I want without any permission. It's been 3 days since the argument. I am still crying, not knowing how to deal with this or how to overcome it. It's something that I am going through right now with controlling my emotions sometimes, and sometimes crying like hell.

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A situation where I consistently have to practice emotion management is at work. Working at a very busy Starbucks, it can get extremely overwhelming very quickly. Emotion management is something I must implement in nearly all aspects of the job, both when dealing with my coworkers and customers. As a store, we have been dealing with a huge number of call-offs lately, leaving the floor scrambling for coverage, which we can never find. This leaves those of us working extremely stressed and it can be very frustrating as someone who has never called off and tends to do my best at work, to see others not have the same work ethic. At times I want to express my frustration to those individuals, however I practice emotion management by staying focused on my own work, and doing everything I can to ensure a smooth shift for myself, my coworkers, and the customers’ experience. Additionally, many of the customers we serve on a daily basis are not exactly easy to deal with. Starbucks is not known for being particularly affordable, and it is incredible the amount of times I am blamed for the prices- as if I have any say whatsoever in the prices. I will also consistently have people coming up to me asking where their drink is, or asking me if this drink is theirs- as if I have any clue what their drink is. I think that many people are often unaware of the fact that other people’s drinks could be prioritized ahead of theirs, either due to simplicity or order timing. There are many times when people who have just placed their order will come take the first drink I call out, oblivious of the name that I called or the appearance of the drink. Just yesterday, I called out a drink for “Katherine”- a mocha cookie crumble frappuccino- and a man who had just gotten to the end of the bar after placing his order picked up the drink and asked me if this drink was his. His name was Mark, and he got a hot latte. Sometimes I wish I could just beg people to use their critical thinking skills and to be aware of other people for once, but that is not professional. So instead I smile, and ask him what his name and order was, so I can check on the status of his coffee for him. There have also been more serious situations at my store, involving mental health crises or different complex situations that require intervention or de-escalation work. It can be difficult in those situations to not panic, especially because none of us are trained in those areas, however I have been able to remain calm and regulate my emotions in order to get people directed to the help that we cannot provide at Starbucks.

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I have had to engage in emotional management in my personal life. My entire life my parents have been over protective over my brother and I and I am not saying that it was a bad thing because they did protect me from a lot but I was also shielded from a lot. Due to this, my parents and I butted heads a lot on many things and there have been moments where I have wanted to blow up at them but I pulled myself together, remained calm, and composed myself to try to explain my point again as my parents are not very fluent in English and I am not as fluent in Cantonese as I used to be as a young child, so there is a slight language barrier which, at times, can be frustrating. One example is where I was going for post-secondary. My parents wanted me to stay home and study at the University of Guelph while I wanted to move and come study at Trent. It took a very long time and much emotional management to convince them to let me go without yelling or breaking the relationship.

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As a mother, I always have to manage my emotions when I am parenting my child. I am also a single-mother, so 98% of the time, it is only me doing the emotional labour. I do my best to ensure that when my child is not having a good day, when she does not get what she wants, when she is refusing to not do what I have told her to do, I am not a reactive parent. Sometimes my child knows what is best for her in moments that I may not agree with. In those situations, I have to manage my emotions and allow her to make those decisions for herself. Because what I may think is good for her might not be good for her at all. So I must trust in her ability to make her own choices. It’s not going to be right all the time, but then when she is stuck, she can always come to me for help.

Hannah Slessor

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Callum Fohshow

One situation that I had to show emotion management is when my Nursing Community Clinical Group went to Honduras as part of our Community Outreach in a different country. Our CI (Clinical Instructor) liked to be negative and beat down on her students consistently, even when it was unnecessary. There were many times where she had become rude or disrespectful with something that was not done perfectly correct, even when it was done to her standard (she changed the goalpost everytime she spoke).

One time, we were having a daily meeting on a rooftop in a hostel in Tegucigalpa, with my peers and I giving feedback on the day. These meetings including time for reflection, advice, and speaking candidly on events or feelings. One of my peers and I were speaking about something important that had happened and were reflecting to our group, when she stops us abruptly by answering a phone call in the middle of the sentence. She then proceeds to have a full-blown phone call while we all sat in silence and looked at eachother with mixtures of confusion, shock and amusement that a lady with such strict rules would break her own rule of no phones during these times, as it was distracting.

When she was done with her phonecall, she stared at us like we had 18 heads (out of confusion maybe), and proceeds to yell at us (me and my peer) infront of others in the group about how WE were the unprofessional ones for stopping the conversation and being nosy about things that "did not concern us" when we asked about why she did that. Moral of the story, I had to control a lot of my emotions when around her because she was not conducive to a healthy emotional mindset by staying professional while being very frustrated internally, not being able to speak up in fear of retalliation.

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For work, I am a cook. I have worked in several different kitchens and have had the opportunity to interact with lots of different personalities and people that come from multiple different societal backgrounds and cultures throughout my career. With this wide range of relationships I've had and how restaurants are run in general, with its fast pace and high intensity. Emotions often begin to flare up easily and can escalate into disputes between co-workers. I have seen multiple arguments between coworkers and have been in a handful myself. I've had to engage in managing my emotions to diffuse situations and deescalate disputes. As I've seen an argument that starts with work disagreement lead into serious conflict such as physical contact and job termination. In a stressful workplace environment such as a kitchen I have learned over the years that it is essential to stay composed and present in the situation as it can be easily forgotten that at the end of the day everyone is trying their hardest to do their job and majority of these conflicts can be resolved with a simple solution and conversation rather than in argument.

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One situation in my life where I have to provide emotion management is when I am at work. There has been many times when customers will be rude, disrespectful or impatient with me. This then leads me to feel super frustrated but even when I feel these emotions, I have to stay professional while helping them so I do not cause conflict or problems at work. I normally will then manage my emotions by controlling my tone of voice and my facial expressions. This is an example of emotional management because I am adjusting my own emotions to fit social rules and maintain professionalism at work.

-Skyler Findlay

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Every single day, often multiple times a day, I engage in emotional management. As a Child and Youth Worker, I am constantly monitoring, managing, and regulating my emotions in order to effectively support the youth I work with. At this point in my career, I would even consider myself highly skilled at it.

Emotional management is not only something I practice, but something I actively teach. I help students develop skills for self-regulation by modeling and guiding them through co-regulation first. As discussed in the module, co-regulation is essential before individuals can independently manage their emotions.

Many of the students I work with have not yet developed emotional management skills due to their experiences at the micro level (such as family or immediate environments). Within the school setting, the meso level, they are exposed to new behavioural norms and begin to observe, learn, and integrate these expectations into their own lives. In my role, this means I must consistently manage my own emotional responses, even in stressful or crisis situations, in order to model appropriate regulation.

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I’ve worked various customer service jobs and am forced to engage in emotion management on a regular basis. When it comes to a specific situation, I think the time I had to try my hardest to regulate my emotions was when my workplace had a power outage on a busy night. There were only about 3 of us working, so trying to explain the situation to each customer was quite overwhelming. What made the situation more overwhelming was that many customers were not very understanding. It can be quite difficult to manage your emotions when you have customers practically in your face, but it is a skill that is needed in customer service jobs. - Madeleine Fargo

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Emotional Management working in Shelters

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Emotional Management working in Shelters

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Up until a year ago, I was working with individuals struggling with mental health and housing instability at a women’s shelter. This job required continuous emotional management, as I was confronted with stories that were generally very emotional, sad, or terrifying. Some of those stories or individuals I could relate to, which was very confronting. Consequently, it was part of the job to manage my emotions in order to not let personal feelings affect interventions, services, or my judgment. At times, this meant holding back frustration surrounding participants' aggressiveness or misconduct; at other times, it meant holding back tears and empathetic feelings.

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I was working at Walmart during the Covid pandemic. During the first week of the COVID lockdown, all the rules for the lockdown were new and the province had a strict mask mandate. All employees at Walmart were mandated to make sure everyone including customers was wearing a mask.  I was attending college and working at the same time, so I was dealing with anxiety of this virus, school and following the public health laws at work.  At times I was dealing with customers that refused to put on a mask and most of the time using profanity or derogatory terms towards me and my coworkers. Although sometimes I wanted to say something back, I always made sure to keep quiet and think before I spoke.  Sometimes the customers will say things to antagonize us, but I always remember I can’t let people get me out of character and I will remain calm; plus also to remember that I cannot take those words personal.  This is an example of emotional management because I could’ve reacted and get into verbal conflict with the customers, but I remain calm and I kept my emotions in my head.

Reacting to the customers during these conflicts could’ve got me fired, so it wasn't worth it.

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Emotion Management: Work and Residence-living

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Emotion Management: Work and Residence-living

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Two situations that demonstrate my recent engagement with emotion management include my workplace and my living arrangement during the school year.  I work as an overnight Merchandiser at a large home improvement retail store.  The work is fast-paced and highly physical with lots of lifting and moving heavy objects.  We are often understaffed and, on these nights, it feels like we are pushed to deliver all the work as if no one is missing.  I often feel overtired and frustrated and when I am irritated or stressed, I hide these feelings to avoid conflict and keep the shift running smoothly.

I also experienced something similar living in residence last year which was my first year living away from home.  Adjusting to living with roommates, being around so many people all the time, managing noise and disruptions and dealing with homesickness all required emotion management.  There were many times that I felt overwhelmed and anxious, but I presented myself as completely fine to avoid conflicts and keep my living situation positive.  In both situations, I had to manage my emotions internally so that they conformed with what I believe is expected externally which are good examples of managing emotions to fit social norms.

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One situation where I had to engage in emotion management was during my co-op placement when I was working with young children and one of them became very upset and started crying and yelling during an activity.

Even though I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and unsure of how to calm the situation quickly, I had to stay calm, speak in a gentle voice, and show patience so I wouldn’t escalate the child’s emotions further. I also had to keep a positive and caring expression, even though internally I was a little stressed and nervous about handling it correctly in front of other staff and children.

This is an example of emotion management because I had to control and adjust my outward emotional expression to match what was expected in that workplace role. Instead of showing frustration or anxiety, I performed calmness and reassurance in order to maintain a supportive environment for the child and follow professional expectations.

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A certain situation in my life where I had to engage in emotion management was while working at my job as a server. Although I have become better with managing my emotions because I have worked at this job for 6 years now, it can still be difficult in some situations. Even when I feel stressed, overwhelmed, burnout and tired during a busy shift, I still need to appear friendly, patient and positive towards the customers I am engaging with. There are times when my entire section needs my attention, customers become impatient and mistakes happen because of the fast-paced environment. I still have to present myself as friendly, calm, and professional. For example, there have been numerous situations where customers were rude, complained about wait times, and blamed servers for issues made by the kitchen staff which are out of our control- like delays, or missed modifications on meals. Even if I feel upset or irritated, I have to smile and apologize and continue with my shift. This experience connects to emotion management because I am changing and controlling my emotions to meet expectations that my boss has of me. Managing emotions can be mentally exhausting over time because this is a repeated task that is done unconsciously.

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One situation in my life well I was working, was at a restaurant. It was fathers day and crazy at work, I had to deal with some many customers and different tables to help at a time, it was already hard since it was so busy and I have to help other servers at the same time. In this situation a table was unhappy with the wait time and get upset with me, so I had to be respectful and understanding as if I was in their situation rather than getting upset by them being frustrated at that time. So I had to react with explaining about the wait time and apologizing to the customer so they would be satisfied in the end. This was a hard situation because you have so many people to help and make sure are happy that it was hard to not just get upset and frustrated with that table that was complaining. So in this situation I had to stay positive and keep it professional even though I was all over the place and helping so many others at the same time of the complaining table.

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One situation in my life where I had to engage in emotion management was during a stressful group project at school. One group member was not completing their part of the work, and it became frustrating because the rest of the group had to take on extra responsibilities close to the deadline. Even though I felt annoyed and stressed, I tried not to show those emotions during meetings because I did not want to create conflict or make the situation worse.

Instead, I stayed polite, encouraged communication, and acted calm even when I was frustrated internally. This is an example of emotion management because I had to control and adjust my outward emotional reactions to fit the social expectations of teamwork and professionalism. Sociologists explain that people often manage their emotions in social settings to maintain relationships, avoid tension, or meet expectations connected to certain roles.

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In the restaurant setting with high pressures, thin margins, and personalities, emotions are abundant. There is a wide spectrum of emotions. You can see somebody be a complete sweetheart and then the next second that same person can switch up on you. I learned to control what I can control. The stoic mentality of controlling your reactions to certain stimulus helped. Of course, at first, I would react to those reactions. Now, I just read the situation and then laugh at the situation. There is a good chance that the pissed off person might cool off. Also, I do keep in mind that excessive stress kills. So, keeping a cool head is just a healthy thing to do. Being professional in a workplace is about being cool, calm and collected. It is easier said than done. Sometimes, as a sick joke, we would try to piss each other off to see who would lose their cool first. The person who loses would sweep the floors or something like that.

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One situation in my life where I had to engage in Emotion management was working at the daycare. There were times when children would become upset, refuse to listen, or act out during busy parts of the day, which could sometimes feel stressful or even overwhelming. Even when I felt frustrated or tired  I had to remain calm, patient, and caring because the children depend on me to create a positive and safe environment. I also had to reassure parents and communicate professionally, even on difficult days. This experience demonstrates emotion management because I had to control and adjust my emotions to meet the expectations of my job and support the children efficiently.

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Working 4 years at a restaurant, emotion management is key because of the stressful, fast-paced environment, mixed with management making stupid calls, and the rich people walking in who seem to know better than the staff working there. The fast-paced environment creates lots of stress where you become easily irritated, leading to management of supervisors making dumb calls and getting upset at you for challenging them. The hardest part is that you can't talk back or become outraged or you might get fired, so learning to deal with emotions and separate work from home is key. Restaurants also a very social place, which means lots of different attitudes, pressure, emotions, energy levels, priorities, and preferences from different customers. I’ve had many people yell at me, and never once have I yelled back, because I can't get upset, because working in that environment is also an embarrassing ritual where you will get made fun of for lashing out.