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Growing up I considered myself popular or cool however you want to look at it. I had a few older brothers, most of the time I would had the hang out with them because they had to watch me. I got to see what the older kids were doing. The things they were doing was bad. Things such as selling drugs, smoking weed, drinking, fighting. But the girls loved being around them. Those things were cool in the hood. I like girls so I figured out what they were attracted to. Girls liked the drug dealers, sports guys, well dressed guys. So once I was able to go places without my older brothers a applied the things I learned from them and showed my friends that was my age. I didn't have to sell drugs, my parents and brother took good care of me. I was great at sports and well dressed. All I wanted was the girls at that time. Now going into high school my swag was on 1000. Most of the students already knew me from hanging with my older brothers. A lot of the older students didn't like me because the girls did. So I fought a lot my freshmen year. That was one of my con's, another con was that I found myself competing with myself. For example if someone I didn't like had the same sneakers or shirt I wouldn't wear them again. I would make someone buy me something new. My friends would ask me why I don't wear things anymore, I would say cause i got it like that or some BS like that. Most of my friends was less fortunate so I would give them my things that I didn't wear anymore. Being popular made me keep up with an image just to impress others. Once I started doing things for myself, I stop caring about what other think.

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Growing up in the Perry Projects in the late 60’s early 70’s I found myself starting in the rejected crowd due to the color of skin.  When I was 7 years old, I finally became somewhat part of the poplar crowd, everyone know the “white girl”(no offense by this statement), but there were only two white families that lived in the project at this time.  We later moved to Jewett Parkway where I found myself once again part of the rejected crowd.  The only difference was it did not take long to become part of the average crowd, we all went to the same school or were part of the afterschool programs.  Most of the children from Jewett went to the same school and we had to bus to and from Build Academy. In the late 70’s we once again moved to be closer to my job, in the Langfield Projects. I once again became part of the rejected crowd due to the color of my skin.  There were only 4 families that lived in the Langfield or Kenfield Projects.  Once again, a lot of the children went to Build Academy or school#82 which was right behind the projects.  After grammar school I became part of the popular crowd, this was because everyone that lived in the Langfield/Kenfield Projects went to Kensington High School.  In the year 1985 we once again moved this time to the Westside of Buffalo.  I was once again part of the rejected crowd, this time it was because I switched High School. I went from a school with no rules to a school with a lot of rules Lafayette High School. I found myself adapting to the new ways of school and life.  I was part of the rejected crowd most of my life and the pro’s of being part of this crowd is I had to find myself and learn to become a better person because I did not care how people saw me or what they thought about me.  The con’s to being part of the rejected was watching everyone hanging out and having fun from the outside.  I believe this has taught me be become a strong independent person.

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I'm not to far out of high school but growing up I was kind of average. I was really shy, kind , and sweet spirited but I did have a group of friends. I was a honor student even though a lot of my friends weren't but that didn't stop me from being friends with them. I did however get called a few names for being taller than everyone else and caring a little more about school. I was popular enough for some people and my junior and senior year was a little rough because I didi play plenty of sports and was in quite a few musicals but I still was popular. I wouldn't change the things I accomplished in school for anything but I would change the people. They build those thy felt under them and those they felt weren't educated enough or didn't have nice clothes. I went to an arts school so if you weren't;t the best at your talent you were seen funny. I feel bad for those who had it worse than me because you have to look at the brighter side which was hey you'd never see these people again . I graduated. with great grades and plenty to put on my college application I never looked back because going back meant going back to those feelings of never being enough to those around me. Today I stand tall and I know that loving you comes first and being you is the best thing you can be for you.

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Growing up, because i was "Controversial" (A mystery, mean to outsiders, Quiet, home alone child) I guess it made me popular. Cons of popularity, people awesome your lifes good when its not. Being popular was weird for me; I had a traumatizing childhood and also was a only child, so people always trying to talk to me or be in my space gave me serious anxiety problems. I was the goalie on my soccer team, competed in swimming heats and was a power forward on the basketball team which contributed to my popularity, I'm guessing. If you would ask any of my teammates today how i was they would tell you I didn't talk much in the locker rooms or at practices and always seemed like i was in deep thought. Cons of being controversial: Things that made me controversial was that my mom was 17 when she had me so by team i became a teen myself she was still pretty young and because i was old enough im guessing she thought she can recapture you teenage years that lost, meaning she was never home. My father was absent in my life majority of my childhood, but when he did come around it seemed as although his whole life purpose was to destroy me hoping that would destroy my mom. He was highly verbally abusive to me which stalled my ability to find my voice/confidence. The pro about being popular was always getting invited to participate in things, not having to deal with bullies, breezing through school. The pros about being controversial is always shocking people, being that small dog that always come on top. Being both controversial and popular allowed me to mature fast, gain experience and the skills to protect my space and if I chose to start a new venture i know i can make a post and a ton of people that would support. Today because of the events in my life that made me controversial i still have trouble letting people in and not be such a mystery, but i'm working on that.

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This quote by Halle Selassie speaks to my life as it relates to the foundation of the social development of my childhood, "A house built on granite and strong foundations, not even the onslaught of pouring rain, gushing torrents and strong winds will be able to pull down."
I know that the foundation of my identity as a person of African descent was solidified as a child. I was taught African history, lived in a community that exuded black pride, and has peer interaction that exemplified love, respect, sharing, caring for your neighbor, and fun. For example, I bonded and played with two cousins who were close in age (I was 6 yrs. and they were 7 yrs. and 3 yrs.). We were constantly together for family occasions and playtime. Often we'd explore the neighborhood for items to build things to play with (we built a go-cart with wheels). Additionally, we played on the playground, rode bikes, created games, taught the youngest cousin how to tie her shoes, etc. Our family taught us how to share and solve problems. We often chose to compromise when one of the others had a different idea ( except for the few times when our parents had to step in). Therefore, I was use to sharing, getting along, and peacefully handling conflicts. These attributes continued in my early years of school (K-3). I attended my neighborhood school that was predominately African-American and the same standards that I was raised with was reflected through my teachers and most of my peers.  I would have considered myself "average" with some kids liking me and others who didn't. My parents instilled in me the value of a quality education and I took that seriously as a child. Consequently, I was quiet, had one friend, focused on my work, and didn't fool around with others who chose not to stay on tasks. I was openly acknowledged for my positive choices and academic achievements. I believe this is what drove my peers to dislike and ultimately "reject" me. I was often excluded from their circles at lunch, work groups, recess, and being selected on their play teams. However, it didn't initially bother me much since I had one friend that I could confide in. My emotional state began to shift when they began calling me negatives names and this led to me being chased home  by a peer who wanted to fight me.  After running home crying for two weeks my two sisters locked me out of the house (I'm age 7) which forced me to fight the girl. Needless to say, I beat her up and she never bothered me again (this would be the first of two lessons in standing up for myself). Moreover, this experience deeply bothered me since I desired the acceptance of my peers. So, as a result I retreated within, briefly isolating myself from the one friend I had. My family continued to affirm me with encouraging words and my one friend hung with me as I navigated this process of low self-confidence. I went on to finish attending this school through third grade without incidence along with my one true friend.
At the end of third grade my family experienced a personal tragedy which prompted our move to the west side of Buffalo.
Our move immersed us in a rich Latin culture that we were unfamiliar with, but later came to value and respect. Therefore, I was initially withdrawn and wasn't receptive to establishing friendships in the neighborhood or at my new school.
I entered Holy Cross Catholic School in the fourth grade. I found myself surrounded by peers who didn't look like me (3 others) nor share my values. I continued to remain quiet and withdrawn, yet I remained focused on my work and remained academically sound. Moreover, my self-esteem was starting to plummet because I was the tallest person and most physically mature of all my peers. My isolation caused my peers to "reject" me perceiving that I was weak. Of course, this made me a target for teasing. The name-calling began and continued for several weeks on my walk home (by an African-American male classmate) before I responded. I remembered what occurred the first time I encountered this and finally worked up enough nerve (with my heart pounding) to confront this beast. Therefore, as he walked behind me on my way home, spewing his negative rants about me, I  abruptly stopped, turned around (to his shock) and began to tell him who I was and what I would do to him if he didn't leave me alone. He stared at me and said, "Now I finally see who you are and what you are made of, can we be friends?" I was so livid with him that I shouted, no! (we later became friends by the end of the year).
My experiences of learning to stand up for myself helped me to empathize, protect, and gain friendships with two  other schoolmates who were bullied.
Standing up for who I am continued to be a pattern throughout my attendance at a predominately white girls' high school to the present. However, by that time and currently I have mentally returned back to the foundation of my upbringing and identity. Instead, of initially running and avoiding the wind of peer rejection (that sought to break me), I was ready to confidently stand firm in who I am welcoming its arrival.
The pros of  peer rejection were:
*It allowed me grow more into who I am.
*Increased my focus and analytical thinking skills.
*My decisions became clearer without outside influence.
*I'm comfortable in my own skin and I reach out to other when I desire connection.
The cons of peer rejection were:
* Too independent (I had to learn to receive assistance from others).
*Socially awkward.
Overall, my experiences with peer rejection has made me more rooted in who I am. I am still quiet, focused, analytical, and selective of those I call friends. Just like a strong physical structure, I can now carry the weight that's been placed upon me.

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In my childhood, I saw myself in the average group. I was a studious and friendly girl. I was friends with everyone. I had different groups of friends from different social classes, different ages, and different tastes. I think I was very open to making friends regardless of what group they belonged to. I have always been very friendly, and I like to meet people without judging them. When I analyze my friends' groups in those times, I only think that I could have many friends different than me, but that I never lost who I was. I never thought about changing my personality just to fit into some group. Of course, many things about me perhaps did not fit into any group, such as my religion, a strict mother, and rules in my house, but I do not remember having difficulty with that. I think that my real friends accepted me as I was and saw in me that I did not judge them despite our differences. But above all, learning to accept me as I am, I think, was the key. It is something I keep learning.

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What do I remember about my childhood? Well, I was average despite being shy and quiet. I remember being a sweet, kind, shy girl with a strong character.  I was always with a small group of friends who did not have the same level of education as me; For example, I was the girl who had good grades, the one with great honor. My friends did not have good grades, and they used to skip class. Believe it or not, sometimes it was one of my disadvantages since I was called by name as "book eater, nerd, etc." I remember two girls who always teased me and made fun of me for being a quiet girl, the way I dressed, my shoes, or just for being of low economic level. They always called me names or looked for some excuse to fight me; I simply ignored them. I was raised mainly by my maternal grandparents; they were very strict and did not like me to get into trouble.

I said enough, and on one occasion, I faced them(the girls) and had to fight one of them. Since then, I haven't let anyone else try to humiliate or tease me if a girl wanted to fight; I fought with them. As I said at the beginning, I was a sweet person but with a strong character. I would say that the pros I got for being with this group of friends were being able to make friends socialize more since I was, and I am still that person, who, if you don't talk to me, I won't speak to you either. My cons have been; people have found me antisocial or arrogant because of my way of being. But after meeting me and talking to me, they realize that it is just the opposite. Since I was a child, I lived sad moments and painful experiences, which made me a strong person and difficult to trust people. Despite all I have gone thru, people who have had the opportunity to know me, know that I am a kind person and, above all, I like to help in any way I can. Life has taught me that no matter your financial status, the real value of a person is in their hearts. By the way, never allow other people's bad vibes or opinions to affect you.

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Thinking about my childhood, I think I was in the average group .  About the pros and cons I don’t think being average has a cons . But I can say it has a lot a lot of pros. One of them could be having no pressure to fit the mall or the standers to be popular second is feeling comfortable to be yourself because that way you connect with other people and you can talk to everyone. And my keys because my group was so social even though we’re not we’re not popular we get along with most of the people and we were on our own world and we did have fun a lot not noticing those types of things. Being in this group help me can make connections because I used to talk with almost everyone and help me have a bear a better environment specially a healthy one and a fun one. I remembered a girl who was in those groups but it was more of her decision people try to talk to her got along with her but she was very mean to all the boys eventually people got tired of trying and start rejecting her that must have felt lonely but even worse that was her own decision.

Me in School in my own world, having fun.

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In my life I was in two groups. Let me explain.
In school I was average, my peers I hung out with were also average. We did what was right as far as, keep up our grades, following the rules and we did not let others persuade us in doing anything we would regret later. I was easy going and tried to keep peace with everyone. The pro to that is I am able to look back at my life and have no regrets and it helped make me the person that I am today. I still practice keeping peace with all men so that I can live a peaceful life. I have no cons being average because being average puts you in the position of being your own person.
Now with  my family I was popular. I am the daughter, niece, and cousin that everyone can call on for support. I am always there to lend a helping hand, the go to person, the one who can connect us all together when needed. The pro to this is I get to know everyone, to know what makes them who they are, and to show my love for them all. The con to this is that sometimes your strength gets a little weak, and you need to stop, rest, and pray for more strength to be able to keep on going. But this has also made me become the woman that I am today. To appreciate life and those that God has placed in your life. I am able to be effective on my job and in the community and to do it with love.
In my conclusion; since the beginning of time people have been put into groups; Jews and Gentiles, Blacks and Whites, Good and Bad and all of this plays a part on how we look at others, but most of all how we look at ourselves.  I  must first let you know how I feel about myself. I am blessed and grateful for who I am, who I have become, and who I will be. No one has a perfect life, but we learn how to adapt and accept the life that was given to us. No matter what group others try to categorize us to be in, We are all individuals who must learn to LOVE YOURSELF!!!

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Believe it or not. Kids that are not excepted into every group may like to be alone... Not everyone is a people person. Some kids rather be alone, like some people enjoy their own company and do not like to be bothered. I have some campers in the center and in my classes that perfer to be alone. They get their work done faster and do more with their time. Like I have students that are not popular but are not rejected. They are in the middle. As I grew up, I befriended everyone and did not judge anyone's differences. I am still that way today. I stay neutral and enjoy everyone's company because everyone has something unique in them. I have always been a strong believer that everyone's different and there is something different to learn from. My grandma always taught me to treat others with kindness no matter how different they are and I have always kept that in my heart. I have went through being rejected and excepted and always managed both feelings well. I teach my kids the same thing my grandmother taught me. Some people will love you some people will hate you for no reason that is just life. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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It is always great to be the most popular person in school but that has its advantages and disadvantages. Being popular consists of having to show perfection in almost everything you do. While still feeling hurt about what can be going on at home, with a family member or even your grades. Being popular can effect grades and your mental state as you grow up, anything can happen expecially when children hit high school or even college. As children change schools, popularity chances and that can mentally hurt child growing up from everyone loves me to no one knows me.

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Growing up, I would say I was some what popular maybe even just average. I was never rejected, neglected nor controversial. I was just being me I spoke to everyone. The only time I became Average is when I would keep to myself and read a book. I was always out going wanted to play in every sport being the Tomboy I was communication was not a problem for me. But speaking in front of the class was another story that was not going to happen and I still can't do this no matter how hard I try. There was a girl that was in almost every class I had that people would pick with because of her religious beliefs. She would carry he bible every where with her. People would neglect that fact she would be in class with us, reject her as a partner in class she kept to herself would not look at anyone or rise her hand in class anymore for fear of what someone would say. I Believe If I would have stepped up and maybe made her feel wanted she would have never tried to harm herself.

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The time period I grew up in  had a lot to do with my social development. It was a time like now, with  racial inequalities. The difference is that back then it leaned more to the doing nothing  to fix it ,sweep it under the rug type thing.
We moved into a house my parents saved up to buy. I soon became the "rejected peer", I was poor,(common knowledge because I went to the same school, we moved from the projects. I was Italian, they were all Polish. They all grew up together I was an outsider. They didn't let me forget it either, no matter how I tried, Of course I didn't have the clothes or things they had . So I was teased,bullied and omitted, totally rejected from the new crowd, My old friends hated the kids at the new house , so they stayed away, Rejected but yet again, I became withdrawn ,antisocial and over sensitive, This caused me more problems then I could ever imagine, I was sexually abused by  a family member who I thought was helping me get through this awful time,boy
i was wrong.
This effected my development immensly. With no one to talk to ,(they wouldn't have believed me anyway so I was told". My parents seeing me withdraw signed me up for little league cheerleading. This helped me start with a clean slate amongst new peers So I started with a new group of friends promised myself I wouldn't go back to the person I was and worked on improving myself mentally,physically and socially. I still have trust issues when it comes to getting to  close  to friends,but I have a great support system with my adult peers.
THE PROS ; I learned too be a stronger person and did the same for others. It guided me along the way of what not to get caught up in. I can relate to how our students are dealing with their baggage filled lives. I have come out of the shadows and am moving ahead.
THE CONS;
I left a lot a friends in my shadow. The painful memories although they made me stronger  are still with me. I didn't finish college the first time . I didn't think I was smart enough or able to have real friends.

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Human development has a lot to do with culture, social status, education, available resources, and the environment they were raised in. Growing up, I was not popular, not rejected, not controversial, or neglected. Overall, I think I’m average. I was somewhat introverted since I like my own space and would do a lot of mental thinking before saying something. The positives of being average is you deal with less peer pressure. You get to observe other peoples’ interaction and see their character. You get to know their behaviors from other perspectives. As for the negatives of being average is that people think you’re hard to work with. Furthermore, they assume your character before knowing you. Maybe an easy target to bully. Since observing people and their interaction, I did pick up some of their characteristics to use for the social development. For instance, communication skills. I used to be afraid of speaking up and giving presentations. After observing how others present their presentations, it motivates me to be like them. They said practice makes perfect; therefore, I would practice until I would not stutter. I used to know a girl who falls in the category of rejections and neglections. She’s very quiet and would hold little eye contact when communicating. Unfortunately, she was bullied by her peers because of her low self-esteem.