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your eyes were nothing special, just plain out color, honestly.

but when i stare into them— i get lost.

kind of like the “lost” that feels exactly like being found.

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love is not just a “feeling.” it is not just butterflies and a quickening heartbeat.

love is cleaning up vomit off the bathroom floor when they were too sick to make it to the toilet. love is bringing you Tylenol when you are too sick from the flu to get out of bed and get it yourself. love is waiting in the Emergency Room for someone for four hours even when you knew they only had a common cold. love is literally crying on each other's shoulders and wiping the tears from each other's cheeks. love is holding their hair back when you had a little bit too much to drink. love is rushing home to each other just to tell one another about your plain old boring day.

love is spending those days just cuddling on the couch eating soup and watching Netflix and being perfectly content with that. love is staying up until 2.am talking about everything and nothing at all. love is showing someone your darkest and rawest feelings and getting nothing but a listening ear and an understanding mind in return. love is when you work so hard just to make sure that the other person is comfortable and taken care of. love is washing their dirty laundry and doing each other's dishes.

love is motivating you to do well in college and praising you when you did well on your finals. love is massaging legs after they worked all day.

love is more than just a “feeling.”

— thank you for always reminding me of what love tastes like.

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all i want from you is honesty.

there will be days when you will feel us drifting apart and that’s okay because i don’t believe that you can love someone all the time.

there will be times when your words will pierce right through my chest, bruising my heart and forming scars and that’s okay because i want you to be as real with me as you can, i don’t want you to dip your words in pleasantries or milk and honey. i don’t need you to save me, i don’t need you to complete me in any way.

but i do want you in my life because you make breathing worthwhile and easy.

maybe we will prick each other, drive one another to the edge, have our rock-bottom moments and that’s okay because we can always love each other through poems, written letters, and our very own stories.

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so... what do you say, love? any changes?

i’m sure by now you’ve spotted some different things, maybe more than you thought it would be. i won’t say that i’m complicated but i’d say that i’m quite a complex person and i’m sure you would agree to that, wouldn’t you? 🥰

some opinions might have changed, some others stayed the same. regardless, i truly hope that the new sides you’ve seen would still be, at the very least, acceptable. `nervous chuckles`

but yeah, our fourth month, what do you think of me? any changes? if there is, and if it’s negative, please file a report on my kkt because i’d be attending to it with open arms and several kisses. and if it’s positive, please also file a report on my kkt because i’d like to hear more about it, of course, it comes with huggles and kithes. xoxo.

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well... honestly i’m not sure of what to say here so... nervous chuckles intensifies. jokes aside, happy 4th 9th! another milestone we’ve yet achieved. it’s been a long journey filled with good things and hardships of our own. over the past four months, we’ve come to unravel ourselves and pry deeper into each other’s individuals. some are old, some are new. some are ”ha, as expected” while some are ”wait, what? why? eh?” it’s quite inevitable, yeah? the more time we spend with one another, the more we get to learn about us, about me, about you. we are both, considerably, pretty bad at expressing our thoughts (sometimes feelings). i, for one, am always scared of saying or showing too little— i know it sounds like i’m giving excuses or what not but yeah, i’m not asking you to understand me on this part but i just want to let you know (which you’ve probably already knew) that yeah i am this insensitive, ignorant, and apathetic. i’m sure by now you’ve seen these antics of mine creeping out, being reflected on my actions and even my words as well. i’m trying to work on it and if it gets too much or out of control, please let me know? i’d like to know what you like, how you want things to be, your visions, your thoughts, or in general— you. it might sound very childlike but i’d like to know things even down to your favorite colors or just simply, any random ramblings at all. it feels nice getting to know more about you, and it’s cute whenever you tell me things on your own accord, it makes me feel involved and that you remember me, i love it.

and yeah, albeit our good sides, i have to say that my flaws can be too much at times. i know how badly it can affect others unknowingly and i’m always too late to notice this. please help to keep me in track? don’t let me stray away too far. don’t let me go. i know it might sound like i’m asking you to do things but i am just genuinely asking for your help because i know i can’t do this part on my own.

realistically speaking, the road ahead might be uphill, it might even be more surprising than the ones we’ve been on so far, but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i wish only the best for us, and if somehow we need to go through the cracks then i’ll gently let out my hand— whenever you feel like you want to grab ahold of me, i’m always there. on days where i don’t seem like myself, please gently coddle me? i know it might sting but on the other side, you can always flick my forehead after the storm had passed.

i don’t really like talking about the future. it’s full of uncertainties and the unexpected. yet, i want one— and you’ll always be the one i’d write a future with. we don’t know what awaits us, we might not know what other thing we’ve yet to stumble upon but yeah, as long as you, me, us, we, are putting in our best effort with honesty and opening up to one another, i certainly have faith in us.

here’s to us and creating more memories! well.... and to just live our own story in our own ways. i love you, Ginny. thank you for everything ♡

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with love,
Lowell Irvine Winchester.

— minatozachi.