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My Lobotomy by Howard Dully is a story that takes the reader on an emotional rollercoaster. The story begins by discussing Howard’s family life, including his father, mother, step-mother, step brothers, and grandmother. The reader not only sees the hardships within the family, but we get to see how these hardships (especially with his step-mother Lou) influenced the decision of the surgical lobotomy. Many questions the reader may ask during this book is why did this happen, when did this happen, how did this happen, who let this happen, and how does this affect Howard ( a TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY at the time of his lobotomy)? The book continues to answer these questions as Howard takes us along with his own personal stories at different times in his life from his perspective, his family’s perspective, and his own exposure to these facts and answers after these events occurred. Imagine having a procedure without your knowledge that changed your life entirely and becoming more of an outcast, an alcoholic, never knowing the answer to any questions, and never feeling loved by anyone? We, the reader, get to see how Howard’s life turns upside down at twelve years old all the way up to fifty-six years old when he discovers the closure and answers he needs. This book seems to be a reflective and therapeutic tool to help Howard overcome the reality of his lobotomy at twelve years old and raise awareness for those who have suffered personally or in the family of someone who has suffered from a lobotomy.

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The main themes of this book include identity, peace, and courage. Howard was a kid that always felt somewhat of an outcast, whether that was in his school setting or in his family life. He never felt loved by any member of his family and because of this lack of empathy and nurturing, he never felt that he was good enough. Even before his lobotomy at twelve years old, he did not feel that he was truly respected and loved by anyone. What does this lack of love and nurturing do to a boy? It makes their identity diminish and causes them to lose themselves. This was something that Howard struggled with entirely and something that he continued to struggle with after his Lobotomy. Many of the quotes from his book claim “What was I doing” or “Who was I” showing that many of his actions in his life didn’t feel like himself. The only time he truly felt an ounce of himself was when he finally got the closure and peace he needed when reconvening with other families disrupted by these lobotomy procedures. This needs to be the next theme of peace. This book could be argued is the opposite of peace, some could say a warzone. Howard was constantly on high alert and felt like he was always under fire. I feel that the writing of this book and the research that went into this book helped Howard find that peace. After finishing this book, I myself even felt a little bit of peace for Howard because he wasn't alone. He had a whole community of people behind him, supporting him, which is something he NEVER had. Being able to revisit the situation that happened to him is one that takes courage. Not only did Howard learn, read, and revisit letters and pictures from his lobotomy, but he even had to revisit and interview people that he may have never wanted to talk to (his dad). This is exactly why I think courage is a major theme of this book. He was able to take an awful situation and use it to spread awareness and support for those who may be struggling with a similar situation. This story is definitely one that breaks your heart, but because of Howard’s courage, we are able to build it back up again.

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After reading this book, I was very intrigued to learn about the doctor (Freeman) and the history of lobotomies. This video includes photos, videos, and even interviews of Howard Dully from his film that premiered years ago. It was so interesting to hear and see the person who actually suffered from this.

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My personal reflection of this book includes many different emotions. I personally could feel my jaw dropping for the first 100 pages of this book when discussing Howard’s home life and lobotomy procedure. The amount of trauma and hardships that Howard had in his life almost made it so that he would fail. It was not fair and quite frankly, made me very upset. I felt pity for Howard because he never had a healthy home life or life for that matter, even from the start of his life. He was automatically brought into a world of chaos and was bound to fail. He acted as a young boy and portrayed behaviors that many young boys displayed, but instead of being told to stop in a healthy manner or building a connection with him to see why he was acting this way, he was forcefully given a LOBOTOMY AT TWELVE YEARS OLD. Just typing this out makes me outrageous. I work at a daycare and many of the kids have done some form of behavior that Howard showed, but I have NEVER even THOUGHT that my first solution would be a lobotomy. On top of this, he was never loved or cared for. I despise Howard’s dad and his mindset that he shows towards anyone. It is narcissistic behavior and quite frankly, was the main issue that caused hardships at home. I could talk about this book all day and rant nonstop. Something I do know is that Howard is one of the bravest people I have come upon and seeing him be able to revisit this traumatic experience, revisit narcissistic behaviors (his dad), and raise awareness among others are just three things that I truly admire about him. He truly was born to fail in this society and I am glad that he was able to find himself and his way in this world.

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The biggest connection that I felt from this book that relates to this class is the behaviors that Howard portrayed when he was younger. He was one who would be called the “troublemaker”. He expressed that he would sometimes joke around in a negative light, if he didn’t enjoy something (like school) he would stop trying, he stole a couple times, etc. Not only do these behaviors make complete sense that they occurred because he was not loved, cared for, or given attention at home, but these are behaviors that many young boys and even girls may have shown. This book's biggest lesson to me that relates to this class is to recognize these behaviors and try to think of WHY this is happening. With Howard's story, his step-mother and father did not care to even take accountability for why these behaviors might be happening. If they actually cared and looked into these behaviors, they would realize that may Howard had ADHD or just needed some form of love and care at home. As a future educator, it is vital that I recognize behaviors and try to find healthy and non harmful ways of finding solutions for these concerns whether that consists of observing behavior to see if the student needs an IEP, exploring family life, just asking the student questions about what THEY may think is going on, etc. Howard’s case is one that helps us realize the wrong way to go about observing behavior.

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I do not have any super personal connections to this book, but some of the behaviors that Howard portrayed when he was younger reminded me of my brother. Instead of jumping TO A LOBOTOMY, my parents helped him by providing him with love and care, seeing if therapy helped, and even helping him gain access to an IEP. It makes me wonder that if Howard's parents did that, would he have had the same reaction as my brother? Would he have been saved from all that trauma and pain?

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This next article includes information about the doctor who performed Howard’s lobotomy and continued to perform hundreds of lobotomies on other patients. This article helped me dive deeper into Dr. Freeman and discover how he became the lobotomy-obsessed doctor.

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Walter Jackson Freeman II | American neurologist

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Walter Jackson Freeman II, (born November 14, 1895, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.—died May 31, 1972), American neurologist who, with American neurosurgeon James W. Watts, was responsible for introducing to the United States prefrontal lobotomy, an operation in which the destruction of neurons an…