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Marilyn's relationship was very poor and the way she treated her mother is almost the same way she was treated by her kids for example her mother wanted her to be a house wife and not go to school but she went to school and met James.
her not fulfilling her mother demands had gave her power to make her own decisions. With all the conflict she's angry at her mother but she is willing to only remember her cooking/cookbook. (Page 51) Marilyn didn't know a single thing about her the same way her mother didn't know much about her, I feel like the way she treated her mother is the main reason why her relationship is so poor with her family. Marilyn had given diaries to Lydia her whole life but when she opens them up she doesn't see a word in there this just shows on how little she knows about her own daughter. Even James hid her daughters life from Marilyn, when James read about Lydia and the intimae details he hid that and Marilyn had no clue about it. At Lydia's funeral she didn't know almost anyone as the conflict with her mother shows that she never took action to spend time with Lydia to learn something about her. In todays world of age we live in our parents grow us up in a different era and the era you grow you're kids will be different you can't grow you're kids the same way you're parents grew you. Lydia's death had caused Marilyn to be influenced by her mother and she starting taking action to remember her mother a little better. Everybody affected might find themselves in a difficult situation when Marilyn and her mother defy. If her mother thinks that Marilyn's activities go against her expectations or ideals, she may feel hurt, upset, or disappointed. On the other side, if Marilyn believes that her mother is overbearing or restricting, she may feel misunderstood, confined, or rebellious. Although disobedience can lead to conflict between Marilyn and her mother. Our final conclusion is the way Marilyn treated her mother is what she became and that let her take her own decision and actions with less morals and respect.

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A rustle, as if the policeman has turned the page of a notebook. Then: “What was the nature of your relationship with Lydia?” The sound of his sister’s name in the policeman’s voice, so crisp and official, as if it were nothing more than a label, startles Nath. It seems to startle Jack, too: there’s a sharpness to his tone that wasn’t there before. “We were friends. That’s all.” “Several people said they saw the two of you together after school in your car.” “I was teaching her to drive.” Nath wishes he could see Jack’s face. Didn’t they know he must be lying?

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It struck her then, as if someone had said it aloud: her mother was dead, and the only thing worth remembering about her, in the end, was that she had cooked. Marilyn thought uneasily of her own life, of hours spent making breakfasts, serving dinners, packing lunches into neat paper bags.

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How does conflict influence an individual’s decisions and actions? 

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How does conflict influence an individual’s decisions and actions? 

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Marilyn had given Lydia her first diary the Christmas she was five, a flowered one with gilt edges and a key lighter than a paper clip. Her daughter had unwrapped it and turned it over and over in her hands, touching the tiny keyhole, as if she didn’t know what it was for. “For writing down your secrets,” Marilyn had said with a smile, and Lydia had smiled back up at her and said, “But Mom, I don’t have any secrets.” At the time, Marilyn had laughed. What secrets could a daughter keep from her mother, anyway? Still, every year, she gave Lydia another diary. Now she thinks of all those crossed-out phone numbers, that long list of girls who said they barely knew Lydia at all. Of boys from school. Of strange men who might lurch out of the shadows. With one finger, she tugs out the last diary: 1977. It will tell her, she thinks. Everything Lydia no longer can. Who she had been seeing. Why she had lied to them. Why she went down to the lake

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"He had never felt he belonged here, even though he'd been born on American soil, even though he had never set foot anywhere else. His father had come to California under a false name, pretending to be the son of a neighbor who had emigrated there some years earlier."

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But only one person made James feel welcomed and that is Marilyn, While she was a student she attended a class that James was the professor. They made out just like in the movies. At first James was trying to keep it professional and remind Marilyn that he is her professor and she is his student. But in the end James felt like a miracle happened every time Marilyn kissed him, opened his arms and crawled into them. Going to her made James feel welcomed and perfectly at home as he never felt in his life before.

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Marilyn sat off to the side. When Professor Lee came into the room, she didn’t look up. Instead she wrote the date carefully in the corner of her notes, looping a demure S in September, crossing the t in a perfectly horizontal line. As he began to speak, her cheeks went hot, as if she’d stepped into summer sun. She was positive she was bright red, blazing like a lighthouse, but when she finally looked around, out of the corners of her eyes, everyone was focused on the lecture. There were a handful of other students in the room, but they were scribbling in their notebooks or facing the podium up front. No one noticed her at all.

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They won’t have another chance; in light of Nath’s high grades and the tragic situation, the principal will exempt him from the last three weeks of school, and Nath himself will decide not to attend commencement. Some of the neighbors circle the Lees, squeezing their arms and murmuring condolences; a few of them pat Hannah on the head, as if she’s a tiny child, or a dog. Except for Janet Wolff, her usual white doctor’s coat replaced by a trim black suit, James and Marilyn don’t recognize most of them

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So Marilyn met James at school and James was the professor of the class that Marilyn was studying in. She had a crush on him as James used to speak her cheeks would turn red "her cheeks went hot, as if she'd stepped into summer sun."
The reason Marilyn married James was she wants to distinguish herself and to stand apart from other people. - her mother. James big reason was he wanted to blend in as it wasn't easy for him but when he met Marilyn he had got a opportunity. They had a intimate relationship before marriage and during there dating phase I would say this could maybe play a roll in her decisions on marrying Mr. Lee her life felt more easy for her at the time so nothing was in her way.

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"As may approached, she cooked lavish meals after lavish meal." Why would Marilyn start cooking lavish meals not once but on a daily routine? Well I believe is that after her mothers passing the conflict in her life and the grieving she could remember her mother as a cook and as someone that made food so she carried on her duties by cooking and making sure her will lives on. The conflict in her life made her change by taking cooking as a role in her life we don't know if she really enjoyed it or not. From the text in page 52 she values cooking a lot and I feel like after her mothers death she took more action to value it the conflict in her life made her decide her decisions and shape who she is. In the world we live in today we can see this a lot people's close ones pass away and they want them closer so they take something from there loved ones lives and keep it close with them. The value of cooking changed after her mothers death so it does revolve around our main question. Decision avoidance she didn't try avoiding her mothers cooking when she maybe could of.

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For a second, it resembled her mother. Is there anything that gives you a deeper sense of satisfaction? Certainly her mother would have said no, no, no. She thought with sharp and painful pity of her mother, who had planned on a golden, vanilla scented life but ended up alone, trapped like a fly in this small and sad and empty house, this small and sad and empty life, her daughter gone, no trace of herself left except these pencil-marked dreams. Was she sad? She was angry. Furious at the smallness of her mother’s life. This, she thought fiercely, touching the cookbook’s cover. This is all I need to remember about her. This is all I want to keep.

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Always cookies in the cookie jar! the paragraph read. Is there a happier symbol of a friendly house? That was all. Her mother had felt the need to highlight this. Marilyn glanced at the cow-shaped cookie jar on the counter and tried to picture the bottom. The more she thought about it, the less sure she was that she had ever seen it.

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And then, in the kitchen, she discovered her mother’s Betty Crocker cookbook, the spine cracking and mended, twice, with Scotch tape. On the first page of the cookie section, a deliberate line in the margin of the introduction, the kind she herself had made in college to mark an important passage. It was no recipe. Always cookies in the cookie jar! the paragraph read.

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Evidence

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Evidence

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2) How does her own relationship with her mother shape her outlook?

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2) How does her own relationship with her mother shape her outlook?

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3) What were her reasons for falling in love with James?

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3) What were her reasons for falling in love with James?

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1) How do Marilyn and her mother view the act of cooking?

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1) How do Marilyn and her mother view the act of cooking?

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As May approached, she cooked lavish meal after lavish meal: Swedish meatballs, beef Stroganoff, chicken à la king — everything James and the children liked best, everything from scratch, just as her mother had taught her. She baked a pink birthday cake for Lydia and let her eat as much as she wanted. On the first of May, after Sunday dinner, she sealed leftovers in Tupperware and put them in the freezer; she baked batch after batch of cookies. “