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Stage One is from newborn to toddler age and is where the child learns to trust or mistrust. This will happen by how the caregivers provide for the child, are available to the child, and how the child feels with the caregiver. Failure in this stage means the child will resolve to have more issues of fear, mistrust, suspicion, anxiety and unpredictable. My Jorga ended this stage with Trust, for me, her mother. She has slight mistrust for her dad, my husband, though he was there every day, too.

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Stage Two is 18 months to 3 years. In this stage, a child will learn a sense of control and independence. On the more positive Autonomy side, potty training may be a product of this stage, as well as, exploring their limits, taking over control of their choices, becoming assertive and increasingly mobile. On Shame and Doubt side, we see children that are controlled, criticized, overly dependent on their caregivers, not allowed to assert themselves, have feelings of inadequacy and lack self-esteem. Jorga was fully successful at this stage when she was 3. However, after some mean-girl/bully issues in Kindergarten she regressed to Shame and Doubt. She is/We are working daily on this, even though she knows she is amazing!!

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Stage Three is from ages 3 to 5. This is where the child will begin to assert themselves, have more social interactions and do more direct play. Many will view this behavior as aggressive or assertive, however the child is learning and exploring their interpersonal skills, developing initiative. If the child is being constantly criticized or made to feel like a bother, they will develop a sense of guilt and self-doubt. I believe my Jorga was fully successful at this stage. She was never overpowering.

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Stage Four is from ages 5 to 12. Oh the joyous years of education, reading, writing, math, etc. Social interactions are very important to the way they will develop and grow. Pride in completing tasks, getting good grades, making friends and the high of winning approval is a highly motivating factor in a child's development. Learning to handle a barrage of academic and social obligations and expectations can be taxing on any child. If successful, they will end with a sense of accomplishment and competence. If unsuccessful, they will end with a sense of inferiority. My sweet girl never feels like she is enough, for others. No matter how much I remind her, talk with her, cry with her, she feels inadequate.

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Stage Five is from ages 12 to 18. Oh the scary, daunting and formative teen years! Children are exposed to new opportunities, changes, experiences, friends, groups, and searching for their personal identities, as their body image begins to transform. Inability to create a sense of identity within their community can result in an identity crisis, confusion, insecurity, unsureness, and a poor sense of self. Success will lead them to stay true to who they are, increased independence, having a strong sense of control and heightened self awareness. Jorga is 2 years in to this stage and killing it! She has found a family in Color Guard/ Marching Band that she can fully be her genuine self. Oh, the joy in her face has returned and makes this momma proud.

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Stage Six is between the ages of 18 and 40. In young adulthood, we are starving for personal and intimate relationships. Positive outcomes of healthy, happy relationships that are secure, meaningful and long-lasting. Those with a poor sense of self, fail to form bonds may end with loneliness, isolation and depression. I see some isolation tendencies in her, however she is great at putting herself out there, trying new things and making friends.

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Stage Seven is between the ages of 40 and 65. This is the ages of middle adulthood, where we stress and worry about our need for life to continue through our children and the impact we leave here, our mark on the generations to come. Alternatively, we may feel we have not made a dent in the world with little to no impact, unproductive, disconnected, an outsider. I fear stagnation for her, as avoiding drama and people seems to be easy for her. She is so much stronger than I ever was, so I see her succeeding in this stage as well.

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Stage Eight is from the age of 65 to death. This is a stage of reflection, slowing down, becoming less productive and thinking about our life's accomplishments. Integrity is a "sense of coherence and wholeness", according to Erikson. We prepare to meet our end with peace, wisdom and happiness. Failure at this stage would lead one to have much regret, be bitter, frightened, a sense of not having lived well....despair. Integrity 100%! She will make a huge impact on the community around her. I know she will hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" when her time comes.