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-trapped

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Hello, its me! you know who I am, right? 

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Hello, its me! you know who I am, right? 

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first, thankyou for coming; for reading this long paragraph about something non-sense. If you're here, i do really love you, really.
people always said that Im the quite one; aloof, too much to handle, and hard to understand. some of you may takes a lot of effort just to have a normal convo with me. well, thankyou, my dearest. thankyou for try harder for me. thankyou for not giving up on me. its not that I dont wanna tell you. but for me, its easier to write down my feelings, than say it out loud. some days are just very hard, rough, and unbearable that I dont wanna verbally spill a bit about that. sometimes, it feels like theres is no words could describe what i feel perfectly. my thoughts are tangled, and i have no idea how to spell it out. remember those aesthetic Pinterest quotes that said "quite people have the loudest mind" ? believe, love.. they right. this voices inside my head is too loud, that i dont know which one i should say first. so, trough these words, i hope you happily dive deep into me.
XOXO

PS: i would love if you text me first, before you call me.

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Us in a king-size, keep it a secret
Say I'm your queen, I don't wanna leave this

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-shades of heaven

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we getting bigger

as we're all getting older

is it too much

if i wish for the bond gets stronger?

we're all go different path in life

layers of veil we have to uncover

a whole world to discover

one, living out of town with partner

one, sail along the reaches of a river

the other, fly further across the border

both looking for a better future

there's one, stay here; safe in the lovely arms of a mother

the eldest, surround with bestfriends; feels happier

a younger one, is just become an ambassador; busier than ever

this one, get lost in her little bubble; daydreamer ; somewhat overthinker

but they say blood is thicker than water

no matter how life made you go wander

we always find a way to come back to each other

circumtances doesn't matter

when its Ied, when its new year eve

that times when the family gather in a grieve

in the holiday season that lingers

or those weekends when you come over

the night is merrier

when we fill the air with blather

take a rolls of picture

small talk about your lover

tell about the bustle that made you a hustler

play Monopoly when sleepover

and Uno cards with a laughter

every second spent, I treasure

since I know, it won't be last forever.

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Tuhan, maaf kalau aku semaunya
dengan doaku yang tak seberapa
mana usahanya juga gitu-gitu aja

tapi Tuhan, tolong buat aku kaya
tidak perlu jadi crazy rich surabaya
nanti aku jadi jumawa
janji tak akan banyak gaya
apalagi foya-foya
apa nanti kata Mama?!

Tuhan,aku hanya ingin berkarya
walau hasilnya tak secantik Candramaya
buat aku bisa ikut lokakarya
biarkan diri ini mewarnai sendiri dunianya

jadi Tuhan, kayakan aku secukupnya
beri tau aku bagaimana harus berupaya
agar aku punya daya
untuk beli art supply, yang butuh banyak biaya

--ditulis sembari menangisi harga satu tube cat Rembrandt

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old love. warm like first day of summer. and just like summer, it came to and end. but always came back. is that why they called it summer love?

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-clandestine