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We stand before you today to honor our friends the rocks.
Rocks are a valuable resource in our community. They provide salt, honor our good English statements, and they marry people every day (rule of three). Based to our extensive research, minerals commit 80% more felonies than rocks (logos). according to our calculations, rocks are extremely helpful with salt intake and provide the necessary nutrients for all living things (credibility). Please help with the inclusion of rocks in our community. We have recently noticed that there has been discrimination against rocks. You can do it!(you: inclusion)

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Rocks are incredible, you can even say rocks rock! Here in Pittsburgh we have incredibly beautiful rock formations all over. (Ethos) Even 5 out of 6 people report looking at astonishing rocks because they are just so beautiful to look at. (Logos) Even once my friend was sick in bed and I gave them rocks that I found. They felt better instantly because it took there mind off of being sick. (Pathos)

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Team Rocky Horror Picture Show: WHY WE NEED ROCKS

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Team Rocky Horror Picture Show: WHY WE NEED ROCKS

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Rocks, simply the best things to happen to us on Earth. They are the best companions pout there. They they physically can’t leave you unless you give them a big ol chuck. (PATHOS) They can’t judge you mostly because they don’t have mouths. Studies have shown that by students having a rock by them at all times, has increased grade by 38.276%. Even my pediatrician said that it decreased my weight by a whole 84 pounds. (LOGOS) That’s astonishing. And why wouldn’t you want to give one of the poor adorable things a home? (PATHOS)

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The rock. Always there, always reliable.(logos) One beautiful rock can be turned into multiple. The rocks are all over, there might be one right next to you. They can be turned into collections, or be sold for a fortune.(logos) The rock, used for all different purposes. The poor rock, one of the most underrated collectibles, needs some praise.(Pathos) Most rocks come from great big mountains that could be famous.(Ethos) Get your rock before everybody takes the fortuned ones.(Kronos)

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The rock is the new sliced bread! This mind blowing invention is the next wheel! If you don’t hop on this invention now you might never be able to(band wagon)(kronos). Our studies by advanced rockhappyologists say that rocks make people 1,000,000 times happier(ethos)(logos). Our brand of rocks is the original, the best, and the coolest(assertion)(rule of 3). Our rock is all natural, free shipping, and only 30 dollars for the luxury of this rock(rule of three)! Don’t you want it (bandwagon)?

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Hello children of Pittsburgh,
Imagine its a rainy day and you want to go outside but your mom says no. (Emotion) Introducing the rock umbrella 2 billion, brought to you by Ethaull. (credibility) This all new rock umbrella 2 billion has been proven to increase your happiness by 34% every time you use it. We even have Lebron James say it is the best thing since sliced bread.  (Credibility) If you want to be like the cool kids on the block get the Rock umbrella 2 billion now before you ARE LEFT OUT.(bandwagon, Cronos)

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We stand before you today to explain the pain of rocks.(personification)We are already  destroying our earth, our home, your future grandchildren with never have the beauty of Mother Nature. (Pathos) If  we destroy (jargon) one of the four elements, who knows what will happen our earth could crumble. (Exaggeration). Rocks have the right to be mad, they were here before us, if you take away there home you are a cold blooded monster. As a geologist, rocks are very important part of the ecosystem. They are also a home for animals. (Evidence)

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This never happened Sally just wanted to get rid of rocks!!! Rocks are the cutest,calmest and most beautiful thing in the world. (Rule of 3). It would be the wrong to abandon and take the rocks home. These rocks are innocent and are in need of love. Rocks will make your children very happy. (Pathos).

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Rocks, such a marvelous thing. They can be big or small, sharp or dull, jagged or smooth (adjective). The variety is all around. We could only have seconds before they are lost to time, they are so valuable to this world and its past formation, we cant forget them. Rocks are a beautiful thing, people travel miles to see The Grand Canyon, Mount Everest, Stonehenge, all of which are rocks (Rule of three) . And most importantly, our dear earth, is made of rocks. Maybe the rock thrown at the car was thrown by a person, if we ban rocks there will be no more pet rocks. Wanna join team rock?

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As a Geologist with a PhD in magnificent mineral formations, rocks are the most magnificent and beautiful object you can have in your home. (Ethos) 76% of people prefer to have a stunning rock with them to watch over them and protect them from the monstrous coronavirus.
(Logos and pathos

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Members of our benevolent community, We stand before you today pleading for your help. Together we need to stand together fighting to keep the rocks. Our whole world revolves around keeping them safe. If we get rid of them we are taking away a home for thousands of animals.

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Have you been feeling down lately? Well we have just the solution for you.(pronouns) Pick up your Radical, Radiant rock Today!(alliteration) Having a rock in your house hold increases happiness and confidence 10 fold. 9 out of 10 geologist recommend having a rock in your home to significantly decrease sadness and heart disease by 95%, and as a geologist my self, I can confirm this is accurate.(credibility)Stop by your local field and pick up a rock or you will for sure regret it.(appeal to practical consequences)

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These rocks are very important, and to show this we interviewed the famous scientist, who is made of rocks. (Ethos).
“Our survey shows that these rocks increase happiness by over 50% (Logos), and if you get them within the next hour you get two for the price of one.” We also interviewed the famous celebrity, the rock. “I bought this rock for my other rocks, and their happiness by over 50%! It really works as advertised!“ (Ethos) Now that you heard how well it works, would you really like to let your family down again, for just not buying a rock? (Pathos+Rhetorical question) If you got to the site Rocks.rock.com, and use code “THEROCK” you get a 20% discount. Get one now, and enter a special raffle to get a limited edition rock (Kronos). These rocks work for anything, and can even make plants grow faster because of how happy they are. They also can evaporate depression! Get one now, for the rocks! Remember this, Rocks.rock.com. (Repetition)

We can make the world happier one rock at a time! (Slogan)

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Team Rocky Balboa by Daniel, Elina, Anvi

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Team Rocky Balboa by Daniel, Elina, Anvi

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This rock can change your life.(assertion, pronouns) It’s been a Rocky Balboa foundation since the attacks from the sticks.It all started, in 1333 BCE, when the sticks, paper, and scissors(rule of 3) attacked and innocent pebble, but Rocky Balboa saved the day by rescuing him. (Anecdote) Do you want to save your loved ones from impending danger?.(rhetorical question, adjective, connotation, ancedote) Get your Rocky Balboa right now, 50% off. 9 out of 10 police recommend getting yourself a Rocky Balbos. (Ethos and logos)

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Have you always coveted a pet, but you didn’t want to assume the responsibilities? (Rhetorical questions and pronouns) These geological formations (Jargon) are the perfect pet for you! Get a rock. If you buy one, it will be your best friend, supportive pet, and the brightest light in your life (Rule of 3)! These really radical rocks (Alliteration) help me connect to nature, and make my heart full. Every morning when I wake up and see the loving googly eyes of my rock upon me, I feel tears well up in my eyes, a lovely sensation in my body, and my heart sings. (Exaggeration and Pathos) Studies show that if you start your morning off well, you will have a successful day. (Logos) Waking up to see my rock every morning makes every day a great day, and yours can be too! Buy a rock.

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Instead of listening to a near by neighbor listen to a geologist.(ethos) Rocks are very important to the every day life of an American or any human that lives on Earth (assertion). According to several geologists, rocks form the entire crust and mantle of Earth and let us live our normal lives. We used rocks to create basic tools when we were Neanderthals and rocks helped us hunt and survived. We still use many rocks today including many valuable gemstones that resemble beauty  and wealth. They also help with important things, including diamond tip drills and buildings(ethos and logos). Rocks have become so useful now that we no longer use the saying “dumb as a rock” because it s actually a very smart idea to use them.

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Rocks, an magnificent specimen of pure prosperity(exaggeration, adjectives). One of the 8 wonders of the world, rocks are the most valuable item you can obtain. These warm bundles of joy have been taking the internet my storm. Many figures like Drake, Lebrun James, and Mr. Beast have been hoarding these majestic items. Top geologists say that “rocks are the most valuable item a person can every obtain”(credibility, evidence).  You should buy rocks!

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Dear the gracious citizens of Allegheny County, we stand before you to declare, for your safety, that ridiculous rocks result in only pain and suffering. The rocks flood and torment roads, cities, and innocent people, like you and your family. Before time runs out, listen to us, The PHDs of Geology, and stand against the reckless rocks.

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Dear fellow members of this beautiful Pittsburgh community, I want to stand for inclusion of rocks. These Harmless and remarkable rocks aren’t hurting anyone, in fact they enrich our environment. (Logos, pathos) This community thrives on the beauty of area and these natural stones. Geologists claim that rocks clearly enhance everyone’s opinion of an area. (Ethos)

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People of Pittsburgh, (ethos) we (pronouns) have gathered you here today because of an abnormal (adjectives) drama. (Pathos) We would like your help to keep the magnificent and beautiful rocks of Pittsburgh. (Pathos) Just imagine, you have a big presentation for your job interview tomorrow and you haven’t practiced it at all. You (pronouns) are incredibly stressed, but notice the rock in your house with its beautiful patterns and minerals inside of it.

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Ladies and gental men we are here to spread awareness about the misinformation spread about our dear rock friends. (Personification, figurative language) They have been speaking fowly of our comrades. These wonderful rocks are just coming to pay us a visit, and do not want to cause any harm. We need your help to protect these beautiful creatures.(Alliteration, Emotion) In fact, 9/10 physicist say that they don’t have any control over there actions.(ethos)

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We stand before you as advocates for the rock community. They are building blocks of the foundations of our existence(exaggeration). Everybody loves crystals. They come from rocks and are a beautiful sight to(facts). 99.99% of people think having rocks improves our quality of life(facts). Let me tell you a story of how a rock saved my friend Suleiman's life. He was walking in the Grand Canyon and tripped on the vile creature called a stick. He tripped over the side but a boulder stopped him from falling to his demise. He safely climbed out of the Grand Canyon and lived to see another day(anecdote).

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Greetings teens, tweens, and all rock fans!  ( rule of 3) The new and improved ROCK-Z is back with all new serotonin boosting technology, and the hottest gossip on the block!

Look at Sam! He used to be a LOSER in his school, unable to catch up with all the newest trends and gossip. This was him before. and this is him now after buying the ROCK-Z! He is the coolest kid in school and has the trendiest slang! (Anecdotes)

And we want to do our part in the upcoming New Years celebration, so for the next 2 days all the rocks available in our store will be 30% off! (Bargain)

Is that not good enough for you? ( rhetorical question) Order now and receive a baby ROCK-Z as a bonus! ( bargain)

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Rock are a 2023 essential. They’re not just lifeless objects they're multi-purposed in day to day life. Their uses vary from from decoration purposes, gifts and more.  Rock usage is only limited to your imagination.  Studies have proven that people that own rocks have more stable mental health in comparison to those that lack rocks in their life. (Ethos) Therefore, buy the rock in the link below before they run out! (Kronos)

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Do you need a friend that rocks (rhetorical question)? Well we have the match for you (inclusion). This awesome, talking, multicolor pet is Dwayne ( groups of 3). Dwayne is clinically proven to help with depression and addiction (evidence, Jargon). My friend Lex was recently battling his addiction to trees. Dwayne helped him get out of that situation. Without Dwayne, Lex could still be licking trees (anecdote). This is rated #1 in the country by many doctors and therapists (credibility). Get your rock today at Dwayne.com today. (We have free delivery)