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The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Bethesda Contested Divorce Attorney | Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein

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Are you in a contested divorce? Let our Bethesda contested divorce attorney help resolve your stress and find a solution.

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What type of divorce do I need? There are two types of divorces in Maryland. Watch a video on types of divorce.

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The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Divorce FAQs: Top Divorce Frequently Asked Questions

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What are the most common divorce FAQs? Here, we answer a lineup of the most important frequently asked questions about divorce we hear from our clients.

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7910 Woodmont Ave, Suite 1160
Bethesda, MD 20814
Phone: 240-395-1418
https://www.brandonbernsteinlaw.com/

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Documents to Bring When Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer

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Documents to Bring When Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer

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The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Documents to Bring When Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer | The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Contact a Bethesda divorce attorney to help you prepare your financial documentation for your divorce proceedings.

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The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Bethesda Uncontested Divorce Lawyer | Brandon Bernstein, LLC

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Are you and your spouse ready to end your marriage? Discuss your options with Bethesda uncontested divorce attorney Brandon Bernstein for free.

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Basic Steps in Divorce Cases

Once you have considered all the topics involving family cases, and you or your attorney has taken steps to file a family case, the opposing party (the party you "served") will have to file an Answer in order for the case to proceed. However, when a couple is in full agreement about the dissolution of their marriage and other issues, such as child custody, access and visitation, division of properties, and alimony, etc. (or no such issues exist), the Complaint and an Answer may be filed together.

At an early stage of court proceedings, the Court assesses the case, determines which services offered by the Court are appropriate, and establishes the case schedule. At a divorce hearing, a judge will either approve the arrangements that the couple already agreed upon, or, based on the facts presented, deliver an order regarding each issue brought forth in the case.

Divorce Filing Fees

$165.00 cash, money order, or check (payable to the "Clerk of Court").

Divorce Forms and Self-Help Packets

Divorce forms are available at the Circuit Court Family Department or the Maryland Judiciary website. Be sure to file all forms with the Family Department.

The Family Department maintains copies of the following forms:

Packet #7: Complaint for Divorce-Absolute (includes custody, visitation, and support)

Packet #8: Complaint for Uncontested Absolute Divorce (no property, no children, no alimony, or a signed Separation Agreement exists that addresses these issues)

Form CC-DR-050: Answer to Complaint/Petition/Motion

Form CC-DR-094: Counter Complaint for Absolute Divorce

Download the Joint Request to Schedule an Uncontested Divorce (PDF)
Download Joint Request to Schedule an Uncontested Divorce Hearing on the Grounds of Mutual Consent (PDF)

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Overview of how divorce cases are managed in the Circuit Court

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Changes Are Coming to Maryland Divorce Laws

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Changes Are Coming to Maryland Divorce Laws

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The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Changes Are Coming to Maryland Divorce Laws | The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Considering divorce? Contact a Maryland divorce attorney to help you understand Maryland's new divorce laws.

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Legally, divorce is divorce no matter how much money is involved. In practice, though, high-net-worth divorces tend to be much more complicated than ordinary breakups. Rules surrounding divorce are highly state-specific. This article will discuss issues that apply in general, but in any given state many (or even most) of these rules may not apply. Consult an attorney to learn how to proceed with a divorce in your specific jurisdiction, as the divorce code will range widely from place to place. Here's what you should know about splitting up a household with millions of dollars (or more).

What Is a High-Net-Worth Divorce?

There is no formal definition of a high-net-worth divorce. Historically, this has been defined as a split involving at least $1 million worth of assets, the same standard applied to an investor. The definition has expanded in recent years, though, since a million dollars isn't what it used to be. (As the median sale price for a house approaches $500,000, and many retirement accounts hold six-figure sums, even a middle-income household may have at least $1 million in assets to resolve.)

Today it's more accurate to describe a high-net-worth divorce as one involving several million dollars' worth of assets.

Why High-Net-Worth Divorces Get Complicated

No matter how much money you have, the same rules of divorce always apply. In general, this means that couples follow a few basic steps:

Identify and value all assets owned by each spouse individually and the household together;

Figure out the status of all assets, whether they are considered marital, separate (or "premarital") or something else;

Determine any third-party responsibilities that the parties will have (like child support, or if someone else has overlapping claims on marital assets);

For the assets that both spouses have a claim to, divide those assets as equally as possible.

Readers should note that this is a highly simplified summary, and does not address non-property questions such as child custody, but those are the basic steps for conducting a divorce.

For many people this makes divorce at least theoretically simple. When you are only trying to split up a couple of bank accounts, a retirement plan and a house, it's fairly straightforward to add up the numbers and divide them in half. In those cases much, if not most, of the complexity tends to be emotional. By definition divorce tends to involve parties with strong feelings, and often one or both will try to use the process to punish their soon-to-be-minted ex.

However, high-net-worth divorce gets particularly complicated. This can happen for many reasons, but the most common issues to watch out for are:

Because wealthy couples usually have more categories of assets, their divorces tend to involve more categories of rules. Splitting up a bank account, retirement account and single family home might involve just one or two sections of the divorce code. Splitting up trusts, foreign holdings and numerous plots of land will involve just about every section of the law, and this is before even considering the enormous complexity around third-party entities such as businesses and charitable organizations.

Introducing more sections of the law makes a proceeding more complicated on its face.

Because wealthy couples will often have more complicated finances, it's more complicated to apply the law. Assets may be harder to define, sometimes because they were made hard to define for tax purposes, or harder to value. (For example, couples may have assets like art and collectibles that can only be reliably valued at point of sale.) At other points in the process, because more sections of the divorce code apply, there are more opportunities for emergent complexity as different rules interact in weird or contradictory ways.

The process gets complicated simply because with so many different issues to resolve, almost inevitably some will prove difficult.

Jurisdictional Questions

High-net-worth households tend to have assets split across numerous jurisdictions. A wealthy couple will often own money, land and investments located in different states or even different countries. This creates problems because, again, divorce is highly jurisdiction specific. Each new state and country potentially introduces an entire new divorce code to the proceeding, multiplying the complexity.

Wealthy families often share joint and generational financial interests. This is especially true when long-lived trusts or other sources of family wealth are involved. It's not uncommon for siblings, children and other relatives to have a direct financial stake in the outcome of someone's divorce. Even worse, sometimes they have a direct legal claim to the disputed assets. This can magnify the complexity of the matter by introducing new parties and new questions of ownership.

Finally, because high-net-worth couples have more assets to divide, the process takes longer and involves more decisions. Every day that a divorce continues, and every time the parties interact, it creates the opportunity for questions and conflict to arise.

How to Manage a High-Net-Worth Divorce

It's impossible for one article to advise you on how to handle a divorce, especially one concerning millions of dollars. However, we can give you some general guidance. And the truth is, our best advice on high-net-worth divorce applies equally to all divorces. If you would like to make this process work at least a little more smoothly, we suggest:

Seek Counsel Immediately

Speak with a lawyer as soon as you start thinking about getting a divorce. This is a complicated issue, and even the most amicable split will raise difficult questions of law and taxes. Find a lawyer with expertise in divorce and financial matters, and ideally one who has access to good accountants. You need to understand exactly what you have and how the law applies. Doing this on your own might save money today, but it sets you up for many more problems in the long run.

Get a Good Lawyer, Not a Combative One

There's a difference between a good lawyer and an aggressive one. Many lawyers like to advertise themselves as fighters, pit bulls, or whatever other metaphor you'd like. And sometimes you do need someone who is looking for a fight. Your divorce is not one of those times. Find someone who is thoughtful, thorough and calm. It will save you trouble (and money) in the long run.

Do Not Forget About Debt

If you're getting a divorce, no matter how much money you have, make sure to think about your household's debt. Liabilities (the fancy term for debt) are assigned to married couples just like assets are. If your spouse brought their debt into the marriage (for example, say they had student loans), remember that you don't owe that money. If you took on the loans while married (like credit card debt) remember that they do owe some of that. Divide up debt just like you do assets, and make sure you only take your fair share.

When you split up, you aren't just dividing up assets as they are today. You're making plans for the future of yourself, your family and your finances. This means a lot of different things. It involves making sure that you properly anticipate the tax consequences of how you split up your assets. It involves looking at the potential long-term value of your assets, not just their current valuation. It definitely involves making plans for any children that you have, or any future risks that you personally would like to take. The best way to do this is by retaining a good financial advisor. You want someone who can help you think about the long term, not just the next few months.

Don't Get Back at Your Ex

If there's any single mistake that people make in the law, it's this. A lawsuit (any kind of lawsuit) is the wrong way to resolve a personal matter. Many people start a legal matter eager to get even with someone who has wronged them. They always end up stuck in a long, grinding affair all but deliberately designed to deny emotional closure. You may be tempted to use your divorce to stick it to your ex. Don't. It will only cost you more time, more trouble and much, much more money than it's worth, no matter how much they deserve it.

A high-net-worth divorce generally involves several million dollars' worth of assets. These proceedings can get complicated quickly, so make sure you get the right counsel.

Divorce, from a lawyer's point of view, is an entirely financial and legal matter. Whatever you choose to do with your personal life is your decision, just make sure you make the right plans for your finances once that tax status changes.

Regardless of your marriage status, a financial advisor can be a tremendous help. Finding a qualified financial advisor doesn't have to be hard. SmartAsset's free tool matches you with up to three financial advisors who serve your area, and you can interview your advisor matches at no cost to decide which one is right for you. If you're ready to find an advisor who can help you achieve your financial goals, get started now.

Photo credit: ©iStock.com/PonyWang, ©iStock.com/MilanEXPO, ©iStock.com/PeopleImages

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High-net-worth divorces involve at least one party with a minimum of $1 million in assets. Lets break down how it's defined and what you need to consider.

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A Closer Look at Maryland’s Divorce Process

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A Closer Look at Maryland’s Divorce Process

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The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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A Closer Look at Maryland's Divorce Process | The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Bethesda divorce attorney Brandon Bernstein helps you understand the divorce process in Maryland. Get the help you need with guidance today.

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COVID-19 Information Update

Statement from the Maryland Judiciary on Matters Concerning Children & Families
With schools closed and courthouses restricting operations to reduce exposure to COVID-19, custodians who live apart might be confused about changing family situations and their court orders. This statement is intended to clarify concerns you may have regarding these matters.

On April 13, the Governor issued Interpretive Guidance on custody and visitation. Divorced and separated parents who share custody of children are not prohibited from leaving their homes, as necessary to facilitate visitation or exchange of custody. This applies to all custody and visitation arrangements (e.g., court ordered arrangements, arrangements by agreement of the parents).

Topics on this page

Generally

Maryland law presumes that both natural parents are the natural custodians of their children. The law does not favor either the mother or father. This article is designed to give you general information on how courts decide custody and visitation rights in Maryland.

Either of the separated parents may petition a circuit court in Maryland for custody of a child. If the parties cannot agree about who should have custody, the court will grant custody either solely to one of the parents or shared between parents.

The law looks at the "best interests" of the child standard when deciding on child custody and visitation. The "best interests" of the child standard looks at certain factors to determine what is best for the child or children. All court ordered custody has two components, legal and physical.

Grandparents and others may seek custody, but the presumption in favor of the natural parents can make it difficult. Learn more about visitation and custody rights of non-parents.

Custody and visitation arrangements are never permanent. As situations change, a parent can always petition the Court to modify a Court order.

Read the law: Md. Code, Family Law Title 9

Types of Court Ordered Custody and Definitions

De facto Custody - De facto custody refers to who actually has custody of the child before the court is involved. " De facto" means "in fact."

Emergency Custody - If you believe there is an imminent risk of substantial and immediate harm to you and/or your minor child, you may wish to consider a request for emergency relief. The specific procedure to request emergency custody can vary from Circuit Court to Circuit Court; however, the emergency custody hearing usually takes place very quickly after filing the request. If you are granted emergency custody, this is a temporary order, and you will need to continue with your case until there is a final order providing permanent relief. While the emergency custody is temporary, it is not the same as temporary custody or pendente lite custody.

Joint Custody - Joint Custody is actually broken down into three categories: Joint Legal, Shared Physical, and Combination.

Joint Legal Custody is where the parents work together and share the care and control of the upbringing of the child, even if the child has only one primary residence. Each parent has an equal voice in making decisions.There are hybrid versions of joint legal custody where one parent may have "tiebreaking" authority (the final word in cases of disagreement), or each parent may have certain areas of decision making authority.

Shared Physical Custody is when the child has two residences, spending at least 35% of the time with each parent.

Legal custody involves the right to make long-term plans and decisions for the education, religious training, discipline, non-emergency medical care and other matters of major significance concerning the child's welfare. The court may order legal and physical custody in a number of ways.

Pendente lite custody - See the information about temporary custody below.

Physical custody involves spending time with the child and making decisions about the child's everyday needs, including where the child lives. The court may order legal and physical custody in a number of ways. Physical custody can sometimes be referred to as "parenting time."

Sole Custody - A person may be granted sole legal custody, sole physical custody, or both.

Split Custody (of 2 or more children) - Split custody means that one parent has sole custody of some of the children, and the other parent has sole custody of the remaining children. Split custody is easiest to describe in a situation where there are two children, and each parent obtains full physical custody over one child. Some of the factors that may point to this result are ages of the children and their wishes. Generally, the courts do not favor split custody.

Temporary Custody - Temporary custody is also called pendente lite, meaning "pending the litigation". To formalize custody before you begin litigation, you will need to file for temporary court ordered custody. Temporary custody will be based on the "best interests" of the child standard. It is not an "initial" award of custody. Instead it is temporary custody while you wait for the court to hold a hearing. To be awarded temporary custody you must file a request for hearing and an Order for Temporary Custody and Support along with your Complaint for Custody or Divorce.

Jurisdiction

" Jurisdiction" is the set of rules that decides which court hears a case. Jurisdiction is like an imaginary fence that divides legal cases into 2 categories. On one side of the fence are the cases that a certain court can decide. On the other side of the fence are the cases that the court is not allowed to hear. Usually "jurisdiction" is the reason one court must allow another court to hear the case.

There are two types of jurisdiction: personal jurisdiction and subject matter jurisdiction. The court must have both types of jurisdiction to hear a case. Personal jurisdiction, the power to require a person to appear in court, is discussed in the Service of Process section of this web site. In Maryland, subject matter jurisdiction to hear custody and visitation cases is with the Circuit Courts. If you have a custody case in Maryland, the Circuit Court is where the case will be filed and heard by a judge or magistrate.

A case can be filed in Maryland if:

1. The child lives in the state and

Maryland is the home state of the child (lives in state, goes to school in state) and

The parent has sufficient contact with the state (works, votes, lives, pays taxes in Maryland).

2. Even though the child is not in Maryland now:

Maryland was the child's home state within the last six months and

The parent filing for custody continues to live in Maryland

3. The child and at least one of the parents have significant connection with Maryland (live, work, go to school here) and in Maryland there are more records and witnesses to give evidence of the child's present or future care, protection, training and personal relationships.

4. The child is physically present in Maryland and was abandoned or emergency protection is necessary (an emergency means the child was threatened or a victim of abuse or neglect). Read the Law: Md. Code, Family Law § 9.5-201

"Best Interests of the Child" Standard - Factors the Judge considers

Regardless of any agreement you may have reached, the courts will look to determine the "best interests" of the child. They look at several factors. No single factor is most important. This is a list of some, but not all, of the factors, that courts will consider.

Primary Care Giver - Who is the person who takes care of the child? Who feeds the child, shops for their clothes, gets them up for school, bathes them, and arranges day care? Who does the child turn to when they get hurt?

Fitness - What are the psychological and physical capacities of the parties seeking custody? The court may also consider evidence of abuse by a party against the other parent, the party's spouse, or any child residing within the party's household (including another child).

Character and Reputation

Agreements - Is there a custody agreement already in place?

Ability to Maintain Family Relationships - Who will be best able to help the child keep family relationships? Who is going to let the child speak with their ex-mother-in-law, for example? Who will not penalize the child for any bad action on the part of the other parent?

Child Preference - The decision of the court may be reversed on appeal if the judge will not hear the child's preference. However, the judge may choose to interview the child outside the presence of the parents. Though it is rare, the court will hear from a child under 7 years, and a child as young as 5 or 6 years of age may be heard. The child's maturity, and whether the child can tell the truth from fiction will guide the decision whether a child may be heard. A child of at least 10 or 12 years of age is certainly entitled to have their opinions heard and given weight in legal proceedings about custody. Additionally, the court has the power to appoint an attorney for the child in contested cases.

Material Opportunity - Which parent has the financial resources to give the child more things?

Age, Health and Gender of Child

Residences of Parents and Opportunity for Visitation - How close do the parents live to each other? How close do they live to members of the child's extended family? Which parent lives closest to the child's school and social circle?

Length of Separation - How long has the parent been separated from the child?

Any Prior Abandonment or Surrender of Custody - Is there a history of one parent walking out and leaving the other parent to cope with the child and the home? Which parent left when you last broke up?

Religious Views - These will be important in the court's decision only if you can show that religious views affect the physical or emotional well-being of the child.

Read the Law: Disability - A party's disability is only relevant to a custody decision if the disability affects the best interest of the child. Md. Code, Family Law § 9-107

Read the law: Taylor v. Taylor, 306 Md. 290 (Court of Appeals 1986)

The best interests of the child also come up in the context of parenting plans. A parenting plan is a written agreement about how the parents will work together to take care of the child. Learn more about parenting plans.

Joint Custody Agreements

Parents can agree on some combination of shared physical and joint legal custody. One example of this is when there is one residence for the child, and the parents live with the child there on a rotating basis. The court looks very closely at Joint Custody agreements. The most important factor to Joint Legal Custody and Shared Physical Custody is the ability of the parents to talk about and reach joint decisions that affect the child's welfare. If parents are constantly fighting over religion or school, the court may strike down their agreement.
Other factors include:

Willingness to share custody;

Fitness of parents;

Child's relationships with each parent;

Child's preference;

Ability to stabilize child's school and social life;

Closeness to parent's homes (primarily a factor during the school year);

Employment considerations (e.g. long hours, extensive travel, etc.);

Age and number of children;

Financial status; and

Benefit to parent.

Additionally, the sincerity of the parties involved is important. The court will want to make sure that joint custody isn't being traded for concessions on other points. Another consideration is whether the grant of joint custody will affect any state or federal assistance programs. Currently, Welfare and Medical Assistance are affected based on the award of Joint Legal Custody. Be sure to check with your contact at any social service agencies before entering into an agreement or you may risk losing your benefits. This list is not meant to be complete, and the court will hear anything that they believe to be relevant.

What to do if you Agree

If you and the other parent have already come to a fair agreement on the custody and visitation issue, you may want to write your own stipulation and consent order. A stipulation is a statement describing the agreement that you have reached. A consent order is a draft for the judge to sign if the judge agrees to accept your agreement. This means that the court can enforce the agreement in the future.

If you choose to do this, you and the other parent should be as specific as you can to avoid future conflicts. You should ask yourself questions like these:

Who has legal custody?

Which holiday does the child spend with you?

What time and where may the other parent pick the child up?

What time should the child be returned home?

What is the procedure to follow if either of you are running late and won't be there on time?

How much notice should you be given if they are planning a vacation?

How far away may the other spouse move?

What you might think you can figure out as you go along could become a bitter disagreement later. The stipulations should state everything that you have agreed upon. You should not rely on verbal promises. If you both agreed on it, write it down (no matter how trivial it may seem now). Your agreement should be included with your Complaint for Custody, Complaint for Visitation or Complaint for Divorce.

Additionally, you should be sure to read this full section before proceeding to avoid having your stipulation and consent order ignored by the court or giving away rights of which you were unaware.

Unmarried Parents

If the parents are unmarried, the child is the child of his/her mother. For the father to claim rights to the child (including rights to custody or visitation), paternity must be admitted or established in court. For more information on unmarried people who live together, see the section on Unmarried Cohabitants.

A father can establish paternity by:

A court determination of paternity;

Acknowledging paternity in writing;

Telling others that the child is his;

Or by marrying the mother and then acknowledging himself as the father, either in writing or orally.

Once paternity is established, neither mother nor father is given a preference based solely on their gender. The Domestic Relations forms do not cover paternity actions.

You can read more about establishing paternity in the section on Paternity.

Incarcerated Parents

Maryland courts will generally not award custody or unsupervised visitation to parents who have been found guilty of first or second degree murder of:

The other parent,

Another child of the parent,

Or any family member residing in the household of either parent. Read the Law: Md.Code, Family Law § 9-101.2

What if we disagree about custody and visitation?

If you and your spouse are having trouble reaching an agreement, you should consider mediation. A mediator specializes in helping people reach an agreement that is fair and will last. The sessions are confidential. A mediator's role may be limited to custody. You may also ask to cover other issues such as marital property if you choose. Mediation is not appropriate in cases where there is a genuine issue of physical or sexual abuse of the child or one of the parties. It is also important to get a legal advisor for this process. The mediator's role is not to take sides, but to bring the two sides together. Additionally, if the mediator is not an attorney, the mediator may be unaware of some specific legal issues.

Court Ordered Mediation

The court has the power to order you and the other side to go to mediation.

This is true whether

Your case is just starting;

You are requesting modification of an existing order; or

You are filing a contempt action.

You should be aware, however, that if mediation is ordered by the court at the initial proceeding it will most likely prolong the legal process by stopping all other actions until the mediation is complete. The court will initially order two sessions. However, a mediator may recommend that the court order two additional sessions. You may decide to continue the mediation without the court ordering it. The court also has the power to order one or both parties to pay for the mediation.

Read the rule: Md. Rule 9-205

When the Custody Order Agreement is Violated

People go into courthouses everyday telling clerks that the parent has not returned the child at the scheduled time following visitation, and they don't know what to do. When a custody order is violated, the law requires the custodial parent/lawful custodian to first demand the return of the child.

For children under 16 years old, if the abducting parent remained within the state, it can be a misdemeanor. The person can be fined $25 or imprisoned for up to 30 days. If the abducting parent crosses the state line, it can be a felony. The person can be fined $250 -$1000 and/or imprisoned 30 days to 1 year. If the child has actually been stolen by the other parent, you should report this to your local police department immediately. The FBI can be called in to find the fugitive parent and the child as well.

The only exception to this rule is when the child is in clear and present danger (the victim of abuse or abandonment) requiring the non-custodial parent to save them. The non-custodial parent must be ready to prove this clear and present danger, and they are required by Maryland law to file a petition within 96 hours. In that event, both parents will need a lawyer.

Modification of Custody

When a parent seeks to change the custody order, it is that parent's burden to show the court why it should be changed. The court follows the notion of, "if it isn't broke, don't fix it." This is based on the idea that stability is best for the child unless you can show that there is something in the environment that will harm the well being of the child. This is not as simple as it may seem. You will have to show that your home will be better than the home of the custodial parent (not just as good). To do this you must show that there has been a substantial change in circumstances and that it is in the child's best interests to make the change you are proposing. If the two homes are thought to be equal, then custody will stay as it is. Remember, a temporary or pendente lite custody order is not a final order. You would not be required to show a substantial change in circumstances to have temporary custody changed in the permanent custody order.

Read the Law: Md. Code, Family Law § 1-201

Read the Case: Neuwiller v. Neuwiller, 257 Md. 285 (Court of Appeals 1970)

A child at least 16 years of age can seek a change in custody on his/her own. However, it will be the minor's burden to prove that a change of custody would be in his/her best interests at this time.

Read the Law: Md. Code, Family Law § 9-103

The court that made the original custody and visitation order retains jurisdiction to decide modification unless the parties and child no longer have close ties to the court and the court surrenders its jurisdiction. However, the court with original jurisdiction may refuse to hear the custody case if a child has been wrongfully taken from another state or taken without the consent of the person entitled to custody.

Taxes

Usually the parent with custody can claim the exemption for the child. However, the parents may agree to claim the child exemption on alternate years. In that case, the parent with custody needs to sign IRS Form 8332, Release of Claim to Exemption. Whether or not you are taking the exemption for the child, you may still file as "head of household."

Other Issues
Can a child have a say in a custody decision?
Courts will sometimes listen to the wishes of older children. Courts rarely take into account the wishes of very young children. Children who are 16 years or older may petition the court themselves for a change in custody.

Read the Law: Md. Code, Family Law § 9-103
When do grandparents or other relatives have custody or visitation rights?
Generally, the natural parents will have a presumptive right to custody. Only in cases where the parents are found to be unfit or there are exceptional circumstances, will third parties be granted custody. At any time after a divorce, grandparents may petition the court for visitation rights. See the article on Visitation and Custody Rights for Non-Parents.

Read the Law: Md. Code, Family Law § 9-102
What happens if the non-custodial parent refuses to return the child to the parent with custody?
If a child is under 16 years of age, it is unlawful to keep that child for more than 48 hours within the state of Maryland, or remove the child from the state of Maryland for more than 48 hours, after the lawful custodian has demanded the child's return.

Read the Law: Md. Code, Family Law § 9-304

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Statement from the Maryland Judiciary on Matters Concerning Children & Families With schools closed and courthouses restricting operations to reduce exposure to COVID-19, custodians who live apart might be confused about changing family situations and their court orders. This statement is intended to clarify concerns you may have regarding these matters.

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Maryland Custody Laws for Unmarried Parents: A Brief Overview

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Maryland Custody Laws for Unmarried Parents: A Brief Overview

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The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Maryland Custody Laws for Unmarried Parents: A Brief Overview | The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC.

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Unmarried fathers in Maryland must establish paternity for parental rights. Consult our child custody lawyer for guidance.

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Gray Divorce: Why Older Couples Are Splitting Up More Often

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Gray Divorce: Why Older Couples Are Splitting Up More Often

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When people think about retirement, they often imagine spending their golden years enjoying the life they've built with their partner. However, a growing number of older American adults are doing something completely unexpected for their age group-getting divorced. A 2021 report by the U.S. Census Bureau suggests that more and more couples over the age of 65 are calling quits, often after being married for years, if not decades.

This phenomenon, dubbed "gray divorce," is one explanation for the growing number of single-person U.S. households.

Why are so many older couples getting divorced? Whereas younger couples divorce because of incompatible parenting styles or difficult relatives, older divorcees are more likely to split due to empty nest syndrome, infidelity, and financial differences. Instead of fighting over custody of the kids, elderly couples are more likely to argue over pension plans and retirement savings. Divorce can take a massive financial toll, and older adults who are closer to retirement age-or already retired-have less time to recover.

At a Glance

How Common Is Gray Divorce?

One 2022 study looking at historical trends in gray divorce found that divorce rates among middle-aged and older adults have increased since 1970. Gray divorce was relatively uncommon in 1970 and grew only modestly until 1990. In 1990, 8.7% of marriages among people over age 50 ended in divorce. By 2019, that number had grown to 36%.

The researchers also noted that people over the age of 65 are the only age group with growing divorce rates. In contrast, the divorce rate among adults in their 20s and 30s has actually declined in recent years.

Generational Influences

Other factors that increase the risk for gray divorce include the number of previous marriages and the number of years a person has been married. Remarriages are less likely to last, and people who have been married nine years or less are more likely to divorce.

While length of marriage is a risk factor for gray divorce, many couples who split after the age of 50 have been in marriages lasting decades. According to statistics by the Pew Research Center, 34% of gray divorces are between couples married for at least 30 years, and 12% are between couples married 40 years or longer.

Factors Contributing to Gray Divorce

So why are many couples opting to split after weathering many of the challenges they've faced earlier in their relationship? The reasons why a long-term couple opts for divorce vary from one situation to the next. Some common factors that appear to play a major role include:

Empty Nest Syndrome

Kids leaving the home can create a big shift in a relationship, sometimes resulting in what is commonly called " empty nest syndrome." Couples may find that once their children no longer live at home, they have little in common outside of their roles as parents. This can make it hard to find closeness and connection, leading many adults to seek fulfillment outside their relationship.

"For many couples, the children have been the source of their connection," says Kimberley Best, RN, MA, a dispute resolution expert and founder of Best Conflict Solutions. "When the children are gone, some couples realize they have drifted apart and no longer have shared interests or a strong connection."

Financial Issues

Arguments over money can become more pronounced as couples near retirement age. It becomes harder to find common ground and maintain the peace, as people contemplate leaving the workforce. Financial infidelity-such as hiding bills, large purchases, debts, or secret bank accounts-can also affect the stability of a long-term marriage.

Infidelity

Cheating is one of the most common reasons for divorce at any age, including among older couples. Infidelity is a bitter betrayal. After spending a lifetime building shared memories with another person, watching it crumble down due to unfaithfulness can make it too difficult to repair the trust and intimacy a couple once shared.

Health Problems

Health challenges like a serious chronic condition can majorly strain a relationship. Some couples find that they're unable to handle health issues that emerge as they age.

Growing Apart

One of the most significant causes of gray divorce is the changes people experience as they age. Growing apart is the most frequently cited reason for divorce at any age. For older adults specifically, aging represents a big change, and people's priorities, interests, and needs may shift as they grow older.

Some couples might grow closer during this time, but others might find their values and priorities too different, leading some couples to choose separate paths.

Changing Expectations

Our expectations for what we consider a healthy, satisfying marriage have also changed over time. Today, couples are more likely to place a greater emphasis on how the relationship makes them feel, including whether it contributes to their overall happiness and fulfillment. When a relationship or a person's needs shift, it may no longer meet these criteria, which is why some people may opt to end things.

Societal Changes

Societal changes have also influenced this relationship upheaval. Older adults were often raised with the expectation that they would marry, have children, and grow old together. Today, many now recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all path to a happy life, and women have more freedom and financial independence to past generations.

"The majority of all divorces are initiated by women, and this is true for gray divorce as well," explains Kate Engler, LMFT, CST, a licensed couples and sex therapist at Three Points Relationships. "In the last 50 years, women have gained greater economic independence and have held and maintained their own careers. This has created more options for women on many fronts, including deciding to divorce."

As a result, people are less likely to stay in marriages that don't meet their needs, even if it means calling it quits after spending decades together. Engler notes that other factors such as increased life expectancy have also played a part.

"With increased life expectancy, many people-particularly women-look down the road at what remains of their life and think, 'Why would I want to spend these years in a bad marriage? I still have a life to live, and I want to be happy,'" she adds.

Financial Considerations in Gray Divorce

It's important to note that divorce can have serious financial consequences for couples that end their marriages later in life.

"Gray divorce can be financially devastating to both parties," Best explains. "Often people are saving for a joint retirement. This will likely be split with divorce, leaving people with far less income than they anticipated."

While divorce has economic impacts at any age, some considerations that are particularly significant for middle-aged and older adults include:

Dividing assets: This involves splitting up financial resources, possessions, and property that have been accumulated over the course of a marriage. This can include the shared home and any savings, investments, pensions, and other personal possessions. Laws about how these assets are divided vary by state, so they may become the source of considerable contention.

Retirement savings: Splitting retirement savings can affect how much each person has available to support themselves during retirement.

Healthcare costs: Gray divorce can also affect healthcare expenses. One spouse may lose access to insurance benefits previously provided by their partner, which can be a significant concern for older adults with increased health concerns.

Housing and legal expenses: Other costs associated with divorce, including housing expenses and legal fees, can add up quickly.

Gray Divorce Can Reduce Financial Security

Evidence indicates that a late-life divorce has a major effect on an individual's financial situation and well-being. For example, research has shown that gray divorcees have less financial security than their married or widowed peers.

While both men and women take a significant financial hit, evidence indicates there is a gender disparity in these effects. This risk is particularly high for gray divorced women, as they receive lower Social Security benefits, and 25% of them experience poverty.

On the societal level, older couples who divorce can create challenges for an already strained housing market. Finding housing that is affordable, accessible, and safe for the needs of an aging population can be particularly difficult.

Emotional and Psychological Impact of Gray Divorce

Gray divorce also has profound emotional effects. It's a significant life change at any age, but this transition can be especially difficult when it happens after a long-term marriage. Elderhood is often a point where many people feel settled but gray divorces can have their sense of security upended.

Grief and Loss

It's normal for people to feel a sense of grief and loss when they let go of a shared connection and the dreams and hopes they once shared together. For some, the loss of what was one of the most significant relationships in their life can feel very much like experiencing the death of a loved one.

Engler explains that people often experience what is known as "ambiguous loss," characterized by feelings of grief. This loss is considered ambiguous because while the person is still out there, they are no longer present in your life.

Stress, Anxiety, and Depression

The mental health effects of gray divorce are also important to consider. Some people experience a sense of renewal and freedom as they let go of a relationship that no longer serves them. Others, particularly those who didn't initiate the divorce, may be left struggling with feelings of stress, anxiety, or depression.

"When a lifetime partnership ends, they must find a way to readjust and rethink what brings them meaning, purpose, and connection," explains Michelle Feng, MD, Chief Clinical Officer at the behavioral healthcare team of Executive Mental Health. "Divorce can take away some of the built in structure of interacting with others that occurs as a couple and a family. Without it, we can feel aimless, not a part of the rest of society, and lonely."

Loss of Identity

A loss of identity might also be a consequence of gray divorce. People are forced to grapple with changes to their sense of self and find ways to redefine themselves outside of their marriage. A person's self-esteem and self-worth can also take a hit. They may be left struggling with feelings of inadequacy and rejection.

Loneliness and Isolation

Older adults are particularly at risk for experiencing loneliness as they grow older, and that risk can be heightened following a late-life divorce. One report found that one-third of people over age 45 and one-quarter of those over 65 are considered socially isolated.

Engler notes that loneliness is a problem she sees often in her own practice, particularly among men. "They typically focused their time and energy on work throughout their lives, often letting friendships lapse or they leaned heavily on their wives to maintain their social life," she says. "Once divorced, they find themselves without the skills or confidence to do it on their own."

Social isolation and loneliness are linked to a higher risk for health problems, including dementia, coronary artery disease, and stroke.

Health Effects

Gray divorce can also have a range of health effects. In general, marriage is associated with better health and greater longevity. Married people tend to be healthier and live longer than their unmarried counterparts.

In such instances, a low-quality marriage may actually lead to worse health outcomes. For people in unhealthy relationships, ending the marriage may ultimately have a positive impact on overall health and well-being.

Maintaining Health and Wellness During Gray Divorce

Gray divorce can be a major transition, but there are steps you can take to help maintain your health and well-being if you decide to split from your partner later in life.

Feng stresses that separation and divorce are highly personal. "Don't let the statistics make you afraid or drive you in a way that is not in line with what you want to do," she says. "It is easier now to get a divorce, although still difficult financially. But like any great lifestyle change, it will require a period of adjustment."

The experts we spoke to suggest taking the following steps to protect your well-being and help you thrive following a divorce:

Find Support

Having the support of friends and family is pivotal. Loneliness is a common problem for older single adults, so maintaining social connections outside of your marriage can help mitigate this risk.

Give Yourself Time

While divorce is difficult at any age, ending a long-term relationship might be harder to process. Give yourself time and grace as you navigate these complex emotions. It's normal to feel grief, sadness, anger, bitterness, and relief.

Set Boundaries

Create and maintain boundaries with your ex, as well as with kids and friends who may feel the need to express their opinions about the end of your relationship.

Practice Self-Care

The sudden change in your routine, relationships, and living situation can throw a wrench into your normal self-care routine. That's why it is important to make an effort to maintain routines and stick with your self-care goals.

Talk to a Financial Counselor

Because financial and economic changes are common after a gray divorce, consider talking to a financial professional. They can help you develop a budget appropriate for your new financial situation and help manage debt, so you're better prepared for your financial future.

Manage Stress

Divorce is stressful, and dealing with the changes you're experiencing can sometimes make it hard to cope. Look for relaxation techniques that can help combat symptoms of stress. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, mindfulness, and meditation are just a few you might try.

Cultivate New Connections

The reality is that your relationships will likely change after a gray divorce. You may spend less time with many of your shared friends or even lose those relationships altogether. That's why it's so important to seek out new social connections as you rebuild your life as a single person. This can involve making new friends, or it might even include eventually dating again, whether that involves casual dating or seeking a new long-term partner.

Resources and Support for Gray Divorcees

While divorce signifies the end of one of the most significant and long-lasting relationships in your life, that doesn't mean that you need to go it alone. There are a variety of resources and support networks that can help gray divorcees navigate the challenges that come from these later-in-life events.

"Finding support and community are critical during and after a divorce," Engler says. "Find a therapist. Find a support group. Find other people who have experienced divorce, understand what you have been through, and don't judge you."

A few options include:

Family and Friends

Friends, family, and loved ones can be one of your most powerful forms of support. In addition to offering practical assistance and guidance (since they may have experience with their own divorces), trusted friends and family members can also be a source of companionship and emotional support.

Mental Health Professionals

For divorcees struggling with the aftereffects of a divorce, a licensed mental health professional can be a valuable source of insight and support. Talking to a therapist can help you process your emotions, develop new coping strategies, and make a plan for how to deal with some of the challenges you will face during and after a divorce.

Financial Advisors

Since gray divorce has significant financial implications, it's important to work with a qualified financial planner or advisor. Look for someone with experience advising divorced clients, so you can receive the best possible guidance on how to budget, plan for retirement, and manage your debts.

Legal Experts

Talk to a divorce attorney to learn more about your legal rights and obligations as you navigate your divorce. Best also recommends seeking help from a mediator/conflict manager to resolve disputes that arise during a gray divorce.

"Mediation is a confidential, blame-free, nonjudgmental way to be heard, to listen to the underlying needs, and to try to design a way forward that works for both parties and their circles of influence," she explains. "If you decide being apart is best, you can work together with a mediator to decide how to do that."

Support Groups

Look in your area or check online for a divorce support group. You might join a more general group or one that is specifically geared toward older adults. This can be a great way to learn from others, gain validation, and build a sense of community with people who have similar experiences.

Online Resources

You may also find it helpful to explore online articles, forums, and organizations that offer information and advice regarding gray divorce. Reading stories about other people's experiences can be a helpful way to learn from the lived experiences of others who have been in the same place as you.

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Divorce rates are falling and will drop even further as marriage becomes an increasingly elite institution, a University of Maryland sociologist says in a new report.

Marriages are becoming "more selective, and more stable" for people under age 45, despite increasingly permissive societal attitudes toward divorce, according to Philip Cohen, professor of sociology.

"People are getting married later and are getting married after they finish college," he said in an interview with Maryland Today. "It's this idea of delaying marriage until you have a more stable economic situation and a more stable romantic relationship."

His analysis of U.S. Census data from 2008 to 2016 showed that it's not just a matter of age: While overall divorce rates dropped 18 percent, there was still an 8 percent drop even when findings are corrected for rising average age at time of marriage.

While divorce declined across the board, college educated couples saw the biggest drop. Meanwhile, other studies have shown that marriage rates have plunged for less educated, less affluent Americans, who face barriers to family stability, including personal debt and job insecurity.

Cohen's paper concludes that marriage is becoming an increasing component of social inequity.

"It's not really a good news story for the whole society," Cohen said.

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MD Supreme Court rules parents can’t waive child support

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MD Supreme Court rules parents can’t waive child support

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Parents cannot waive child support in a divorce and custody matter, the Maryland Supreme Court held Friday in rejecting both parents' united contention that their inability to waive child support violated their constitutional rights.

In a unanimous opinion authored by Justice Angela Eaves, the Maryland Supreme Court affirmed that parents may not bilaterally agree to withdraw child support and that the Anne Arundel County Circuit Court did not violate the constitutional rights of Erica Hall and Nicholas Houser when the trial court rejected their agreement to waive child support and arrears for their 6-year-old child.

Hall and Houser, who married in 2012 but have since separated, asked the high court in March to remand their case to the Anne Arundel County Circuit Court so that their agreement specifying no court-ordered child support could be incorporated. Counsel for the parents, both co-petitioners in the case, contended imposing child support when the parents agreed otherwise violates their rights as parents to make decisions about their child.

During oral argument and in the high court's opinion, Eaves pushed back on the parents' argument, writing that the legal obligation to support a minor child is also a moral one.

"The parties' argument that court-ordered child support violates their constitutional rights conflates the notions of parental rights and parental obligations," Eaves wrote. "The custody, care, and upbringing of one's child is a parental right, but child support ... is a parental obligation."

In its opinion, the high court wrote that the circuit court "did not in any way interject itself into the parties' decisions on how to raise [their child], or direct how any court-ordered child support must be spent" on the child, but rather "merely ensured that [the child] received access to the financial support to which he legally is entitled."

Though Hall and Houser argued the downward deviation was appropriate because Houser waived his interest in the marital home and he would be doing the majority of driving their son between locations, Eaves wrote that the parents failed to show why a downward deviation is warranted. As such, Eaves wrote, the trial court did not abuse its discretion in concluding that it was not in the child's best interest to receive no child support.

Mandy Miliman, counsel for Houser, said she and her client are disappointed but respect the high court's decision.

"We were fighting an uphill battle to begin with, but it was certainly an important one because the question for the court to determine was really what is the scope of a parent's right and the ability to make a decision that they believe is best for their child, versus the court's imposition of its own belief on how a child should be best supported," Miliman said in a phone call Monday.

Miliman said the parents believed the case and argument is an important one, where parents who are fit to make decisions on behalf of their children should be allowed to do so. She added that while the state also has an interest in ensuring parents support their children, she hoped this case would start the conversation for parents looking to enter into similar agreements.

Charles Muskin, counsel for Hall, said the impact of the high court's decision is far more reaching than it intended.

"They're basically saying that the legislature has the authority to tell parents what to do," Muskin said of the court. "We strongly disagree with [the Maryland Supreme Court's] position. As long as parents provide adequate care for their children, we see no reason how the state has the authority to interfere in any way."

The Maryland State Bar Association and Maryland Office of the Attorney General each submitted amicus briefs in opposition of the parents' argument, contending the trial court's child support order did not infringe the parents' fundamental right to direct their child's upbringing.

Martha White, partner at Wasserman White Family Law, said the court's ruling is in line with what Maryland law has long held.

"I think that the big takeaway is that if the parties are in agreement about a general charge of child support, great, but you've got to make sure that it makes sense with Maryland law," White said. "The court was not provided with sufficient reasons why this is in the child's best interest rather than the parents' best interest."

According to the opinion, Hall and Houser's case is an above-guidelines case, where their combined income exceeded $15,000 per month. The parties calculated Houser's child support arrears at approximately $41,708.

Miliman said her client has no plans to ask the U.S. Supreme Court to review the case, and Muskin agreed that his client does not have any plans to at least petition for review from the nation's highest court on her own.

What's left, Miliman said, is the fear that litigants in similar situations have lost all power.

"I think one of the unfortunate impacts of this ruling is that courts are most likely now going to sua sponte order child support even if it wasn't pled, and I think that's going to take away the ability of family law litigants to deliberately decide not to involve the courts in a child support decision."

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