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The Potty Training Guide - Starting Reception

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Potty training is an important milestone in your child’s development. We understand that all children develop at their own pace, but research shows it’s best for your child’s bowel and bladder health to stop using nappies, including reusable nappies, pull ups and training pants, between 18 and 30 months.

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The two most important skills that children need to start school is potty training and getting dressed. These links help parents achieve these vital skills.

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Helping your child write their name is a great first skill.

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There is no set answer to this question, all children are different. They will be ready to begin to learn to write their name at different ages, and that's okay!
How to teach a child to write their name

Teaching children to write their name starts a long time before they actually have a go at forming the letter shapes. We've broken it down into three stages below to help you support your child as they learn to write their name.

Step one: Develop pre-writing skills

Support your child to develop an understanding of the link between speaking and writing:

When you read a story together, point to the words as you say them.

Notice and read signs when you're out and about together.

Explain that you're reading, for example, when you follow instructions in a recipe or on a food packet.

Help your child begin to recognise their own name and it's importance; maybe make a sign for their bedroom door, show them as you sign their name in a birthday card or label their clothes for nursery.

To develop gross motor skills: Provide lots of physical play activities, such as climbing, swinging, and ball play.

To develop fine motor skills: Provide play activities which use hands and fingers, such as playdough, construction sets and jigsaws.

Build your child's confidence and enjoyment in making marks and drawing:

Provide opportunities for your child to use different types of tools for drawing and making marks: pens, pencils, crayons, chalk, paint, or even a stick in mud. If possible, make some of these available for your child to use when they choose. Chunky crayons and pencils are good to start with as they are easier to hold, and felt pens will enable your child to make more satisfying marks than a pencil.

Ask your child to tell you about their drawings and offer to write their name on them.

Give them lots of positive feedback to encourage all their attempts at drawing and writing.

Step two: Encourage drawing and early writing

If you give your child lots of the experiences above, some (not all) will become interested in writing their name independently. They may have a go at writing their name, or other words, in emergent (play) writing. If they do, give them lots of encouragement to continue practicing writing in this way. Don't worry if it looks more like a squiggle than their name! For those that don't, keep providing lots of different opportunities for drawing and mark-making and continue to praise and encourage them.
Remember, all children are different. They will be ready to begin to learn to write at different ages, that's okay!

Step three: Introduce name writing

You could start to introduce name writing to your child when they are:

comfortable using a pen or pencil for drawing small marks, such as lines and circles,

using drawing to represent real things, such as people,

and are interested in their name.

If your child attends childcare or school, talk to their key person or teacher first to find out strategies they are using, and whether they think your child is ready.
Learning to write their name:

Write your child's name for them to copy, talk about the shapes, and sounds the letters make as you write the letters, and invite them to copy you one letter at a time.

Start with just the first letter.

Make sure you use a capital for the first letter only.

Praise your child's attempts to write the letters... it will take lots of practice to get it right!

Once they start school you could ask if the school has any handwriting guidance. It will help your child if you teach them in the same way as their teacher at school.

Tips to support your child with writing their name

Some letters are much harder to form than others, don't worry if your child chooses to leave out some of the tricky ones to begin with.

Writing your name for a purpose makes a lot more sense than just practicing writing your name, so encourage your child to sign birthday cards and pictures.

Try not to compare your child with others, or pressure yourself or them, there is no requirement for children to write their name before they start school.

Continue to encourage free drawing and the other activities in Steps one and two, as this is a good way for your child to express themselves through the marks they make.

Writing in reverse, for letters such as b and d are very common, even up to the age of 7, so don't worry.

As children's muscle control develops, the way they hold a pencil will change from using their whole fist to a tripod grip, for some children this may not happen until they are 5 or 6-years-old.

To help you understand how tricky learning to write is for your child, have a go at writing with your non-dominant hand!

Remember... the activities in steps one and two are the most important things you can do to help your child learn to write!

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When should my child be able to write their name?

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Children need to be able to dress themselves before they start school. They need this skill so they can change for PE, put on their coats at playtime and be independent.

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Learning conversations: 3 to 5 years - Best Start in Life - NHS

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Help your child learn new words and build conversations by chatting about your day and talking together—they’re growing their language skills with every sentence!

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Knowing how much time pre-school and young children should spend on screens and tablets is a tricky decision. This is a helpful guide for parents to make the right decisions.

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Screen time for babies and toddlers: how much? | NCT

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Many parents and caregivers use smartphones or tablets for babies or young children as an opportunity to get on with other things. Or they might find watching TV together is something fun or relaxing to do when they’re tired.

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Starting school can be hard for children and parents. This guide provides support.

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If brushing teeth is a difficult habit to form, use this useful link.

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Brushing kids’ teeth and visiting the dentist - your questions answered by The Singing Dentist

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The Singing Dentist Dr Milad Shadrooh answers parents’ burning questions around oral health, toothbrushing and taking young children to the dentist.

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Getting a good bedtime routine is vital for children but its also means parents get their own time too.

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A good sleep is so important for your child's physical and mental health and for you, but we all know they sometimes resist it.
That's why having a clear bedtime routine that's easy for your little one to follow is so important...though this is sometimes easier said than done.

If you're looking for advice on how to establish a bedtime routine, the quick video below will give you a great place to start.

Video Transcript Video Transcript

It's bedtime, and your child is practising their new fave word - no! "No", they won't go to bed. "No", they won't close her eyes. No, they won't stop screaming the house down.

Is anyone in the family ever going to sleep again?

A good sleep is so important for your child's physical and mental health and for you, but we all know they sometimes resist it.

Struggles at bedtime happen. Of course children love fun, stories, and cuddles with their family more than they love going to bed.

Sleep problems can happen at any age. They're most common between the ages of three and six, and for some children, it may take a while to get them settled without a struggle.

So how can you get to stress-free bedtimes?

Create a clear bedtime routine that's easy for your little one to follow.

Do the same relaxing things in the same order, at the same time every night. Like a warm bath, dim the bedroom lights, and read a story quietly together. And make sure there's no TV or tablet on in the room when they're going to sleep.

Be prepared for bedtime to be challenging and think about ways to hear "yes" more than "no".

What about a homemade reward chart for when bedtime tasks are fuss free, or give them their choice of bedtime story? Help your little one to notice when they're tired by talking to them in simple words: "You look sleepy"; "Those yawns tell me it's bedtime. "You know the signals that they need sleep - yawning, rubbing their eyes, maybe getting emotional.

Talk with your child about these signs, so they know it's time for bed, time to sleep, and that sleep will help them feel better.

Are bedtimes always going to be perfect? No! Are they going to get better? Yes, yes, yes - PLEASE, yes!

Why do children struggle with going to bed?

Children's sleep is important for their physical and mental health and development, as well as your own mental health as a parent.

However, a lot of times, getting them to go to bed and go to sleep is a struggle. This is because fun with the family, stories and cuddles are all often more appealing to children than tucking up into bed.

Struggles to get children to settle can come at any age but are most common between the ages of 3 and 6.

You can find all of the sleep advice for children on our website in one place by clicking here.

Tips for settling children at bedtimes and setting a bedtime routine

1. Create a clear, easy to follow bedtime routine.

Do the same relaxing things in the same order, at the same time every night. These could include a warm bath, dimming the bedroom lights, and reading a story together quietly.

Try to avoid screens for an hour before bedtime, and make sure there's no TV or tablet on in the room when they're going to sleep.

2. Be prepared for bedtime challenges.

If you think about sticking points in advance you can pre-empt the things they'll say 'no' to. How about encouraging them by making a reward chart for when bedtime tasks are fuss-free?

If they know from the start that a drama-free toothbrushing means they can hear their favourite story, they are more likely to co-operate.

3. Help them to recognise when they may be sleepy.

Talk to them in simple words to help them spot the signs themselves. You could say 'You look sleepy' or 'those yawns tell me it's bedtime.'

Look out for these signals yourself, whether it's yawning, rubbing their eyes or getting emotional. Talk with your child about these signs and how sleep will help them feel better.

Created with help from child psychologist Dr Claire Halsey and child development researcher Dr Michelle Peter.

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Baby and toddler bedtime routine: Top tips for parents

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Expert advice on how to establish a bedtime routine with your toddler including when to start getting ready for bed and how to make it a positive experience.

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Help your child eat healthy and well here.

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Five tips for helping your kids to eat healthily all year round - BBC Bitesize

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Handy hints to help you get your kids eating more healthily, even if they are fussy eaters! With expert advice from parent and nutritionist Priya Tew.

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Help your child be ready for school with the important step.

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Getting dressed by yourself: How to teach your child

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Getting ready together for the day with your child is a great way to encourage them to form longer descriptive sentences.

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Children can and should do this skill independently before they start school. Use this guide to help.

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Nap times

Once your child has stopped using nappies in the daytime, it's time to think about nap times.

Learning to sleep without a nappy on at naptime and use the potty when they wake up, will help prepare your child for being dry at night.

Tips for managing nappy-free nap times:

Just before nap time, help your child use the potty or toilet, so they are more likely to stay dry.

When you notice the nappy is staying dry at least some of the time, stop using a nappy at nap time.

Accidents are common during the first few months. Use a waterproof sheet or similar underneath your child, to protect their sleep area.

Lots of children need to use the potty when they wake so help them to do this.

Using praise and rewards to motivate your child

Research shows that rewards such as sweets or sticker charts may help your child initially, but they can stop working quickly.

For most children, encouraging and supporting them to be as independent as possible is the best way to motivate them.

Tips for keeping your child motivated:

Give your child plenty of encouragement and praise their efforts. When your child uses the potty or manages to stay dry, even if it's just for a short time, tell them how pleased you are.

Try to stay calm when accidents happen and do not make a big fuss.

Give your child the opportunity to do things for themselves as far as possible. This will help them to feel in control, positive and relaxed about the process.

Use favourite toys, books or songs to help them feel comfortable on the potty.

Try to avoid prompting or asking your child too often. Instead, wait until you think they need to go and then direct them gently, e.g. "it's toilet time" or "let's get that wee/poo in the potty!"

Be clear, confident and consistent so your child knows what you are asking them to do.

Managing potty training accidents

It is normal to have lots of accidents at the beginning and they are an important part of the learning process. This is a big step for your child, so be patient and encourage them.

Tips for managing accidents:

When your child has an accident, clean it up together and remind them to use the potty next time.

Do not shame or punish your child about accidents, as stress and upset can make it harder for you and your child to learn together.

It's important not to pretend an accident hasn't happened. Help them get clean and dry as soon as possible and involve your child in this process. Gently explain that you want them to use the potty next time.

Potty training out and about

When you first stop using nappies, choose a time when you can stay home with your child for a few days, so you can do some one to one learning with them.

Tips to make your first trips out easier to manage:

Don't forget your potty and spares of everything just in case!

Make trips out short to begin with.

Dress your child in clothes that are easy for them to push down and pull up again.

Avoid putting your child back in a pull up or nappy for outings. This will confuse them and undo all that learning.

A travel potty and washable car seat cover can come in handy.

Using the toilet away from home is a good thing for your child to get used to. Talk to them about things like how the flush at the supermarket is different from the one at home or nursery for example.

We have an excellent range of products to help with this stage including portable potties and car seat covers.

Potty training at nursery & pre-school

Many children spend part of their day being looked after by someone other than you and away from home.

For potty training to go well, your child needs a consistent approach to help them learn what they need to do whether they're at home or in childcare.

As soon as your child starts attending the setting, communicate about their bladder and bowel health. Ask the staff to tell you about the child's poos, so you can keep track and avoid constipation.

Find out what they are offered to drink to you can supplement appropriately at the beginning and end of the session. If the setting will only offer water, and your child is reluctant to consume enough water, talk to staff. Offer to supply juice or squash for them to dilute; it is vital for your child to stay well hydrated when they are away from home.

Start conversations about potty practice as soon as your child can sit up. Settings may regard potty training as something to attempt when the child is older; share this information so they too can see the benefits of potty practice.

When you are thinking about stopping using nappies, plan with the staff. Agree dates together with your child's caregivers so everyone is ready to support them. Time what you are doing at home to fit in with the setting.

Avoid starting to wear pants when the child is about to change rooms at nursery - that will be a big enough upheaval for them.

Tell the staff about the language you use at home for wee and poo.

Talk to the staff at the beginning and end of each session so everyone knows how things are going both at the setting and back at home. Use our potty training record so staff can keep track of their progress.

More information and free resources for childcare settings to support potty learning.
Getting dry at night

The age at which children become dry at night varies hugely. For some, it follows on quite quickly after achieving daytime dryness. For others, the wetting carries on after the age of 5 and treatment will be advised.

It is not your child's fault if they wet during sleep.

There are however lots of things you can do to gradually work towards night time dryness including:

Help your child get into the habit of using the potty or toilet at bedtime.

As well as making sure they are drinking plenty during the daytime, work on a good bedtime drinking routine as well. STOP drinks one hour before bedtime, every night, and no more after that till morning. Our Wee Checker has information on how much children should drink for their age.

Prepare your child for sleep. Unwind with a book or listen to music with the lights turned low. NO screens - so no TV, iPad, computer games in the hour before sleep, or the brain will get the wrong message!

Avoid lifting - in other words waking your child to take them to the toilet - if you want to work on stopping bedwetting. It might keep the bed dry, but it encourages the child to wee during sleep as they don't really wake up.

If your child is still wetting the bed when they are 5, see our Advice for Children with Night Time Wetting factsheet for more information and help.

Common potty training problems

Taking your time leading your child through the preparation and practice stages should help to avoid the most common potty training problems.

If you feel as though it's all gone wrong and they're just not getting it, it's ok to stop, go back to the preparation stage and start again.

Could they be constipated?

Constipation affects 1 in 3 children and is especially common in under 5s. Your child may be struggling because they have some underlying constipation that was there before you started potty training.

So stop, treat the constipation and then try stopping the nappies again once it is all under control. Carry on with potty practice - this in itself is an important part of constipation treatment.
Are they drinking enough?
Sometime the bladder misbehaves and we realise that our child is simply not drinking enough.

Once again, you don't have to go right back to the beginning, but go back to the potty practice stage while you increase your child's fluid intake.

Try not to panic if it seems as if they just aren't getting it. Some children take longer to learn, and just need more time.

Reassure your child that their wees and poos will learn to go in the potty, they just need more practice!

Get more information and help with common potty training problems.

FAQs

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Potty training: how to start & best age to potty train - ERIC

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We've broken down potty training into 3 easy steps: preparation, practice and perfecting those skills! Use our step by step guide to help your toddler become toilet trained.

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Many of the resources on this padlet come from this website but it has lots more to be explored.

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Preparing for school - Best Start in Life

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Boost your child’s school readiness with everyday activities. Find practical tips for preparing for school and building confidence at every stage.