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All of Erikson's stages seem important to me, but this first one is the most important to me.  When I was in the second grade, I struggled with anxiety as it was diagnosed back then because it wasn’t as big as it is now, but I had separation anxiety from my mom. When she would drop me off at school, I would get anxious and start to cry as I thought the 7 hours I would be away from my mom would be awful. I had to build trust with my teacher at the time and trust her when she said everything will be okay and you will get to see your mom at dismal. I also had to build trust with my mom when she would drop me off at school and knowing that she would put me up when the school day was over.

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In sixth grade, I wasn’t sure what sport if any I wanted to try. When I grew up, I played it all from soccer, t-ball, volleyball to tennis. I had a variety of things to choose from, I just wasn’t the most athletic kid ever. Tennis ended up being the sport I played until I graduated because my cousin played and inspired me to play but that’s beyond the point. I met a lot of new friends in sixth grade, some in which were super athletic. They told me I should try out for volleyball. I put my mind to it and agreed that if I can put extra work into it before the try outs that it might be possible, I make the team because at my school they did make cuts to the sixth-grade team. My parents weren’t for me trying out because they just knew how I was (not in a bad way), they just knew volleyball wasn’t the right fit for me, but they let me try out anyway. Come to find out I didn’t make the team, but instead the coach had offered me a manager position so that way I still felt included in the team with all my friends. As some might think I resolved this with shame, I really come out of this situation with autonomy.

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I am not sure why I remember this so clearly as I was in kindergarten, but I do. When people ask you when your first kiss was, many of us say high school or middle school. Well not for me! A kid dared me in my kindergarten class to kiss my "crush" at the time. I did and the teacher saw which lead to her having to talk to me and the boy and tell our parents. At the time and age I was at i didn't think or know any better, but this incident resolved with a talk with my parents which left me feeling guilty at the time, but now that I am way older, I am thankful for that talk as it taught me they weren't trying to make me feel guilty, they were just trying to get me to see the difference between what was right and wrong.

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During the third-grade school year, we had to take all the standard test the state requires you to take. I had previous trouble with my comprehension, but nothing too out of the blue they thought I needed more help. When my teacher would come around and see if we improved the score from the last time we took the tests, I always dreaded it as normally I never improved, and it made me get very discouraged. My parents and teacher at the time were very encouraging and even spent extra time to help me improve the next time. I led towards inferiority for resolving this problem, but with my parents and teachers help I resolved it with industry.

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Figuring out who you are and accepting yourself the way you can be hard. Epically when you are transiting from childhood to adulthood. For girls this is when puberty hits (and boys to but if you know what I mean). For me, I was not happy in my body at all. It seemed as though everyone around me was perfect by the way they dressed, did their hair and makeup, and everyone having a relationship around me. It got tiring at times as I kept trying to fit in and so all the dumb “funny” things my friends did. I went shopping one weekend with my grandma and I had a meltdown moment and told her I felt like I didn’t fit in and this led to her saying put out a few things YOU like and will enjoy wearing and you will feel comfortable in. Once this happened, I began to love myself even more.

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My senior year of high school, I got into my first ever serious relationship. This was in the mist of COVID-19. I was still learning things about myself and the world around me. Many always asked me why I would get in a relationship for my senior year because that is the “fun” year. I loved this man for three years, but it got bad. When I mean it, I mean my mental health. It took me awhile to reach out to get help but it was the relationship that was draining me and causing me to isolate as I was worried and focused on his happiness and not my own.

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I am very involved in my church that I attend and its atmosphere. With that being said, every other Sunday, I serve in the kid’s ministry there and when I say I love it, I mean it.  Being around these kiddos and teaching them about the Lord is something so powerful and I get to see these kiddos progress in their faith. I feel like I make my mark on these kids through generatively whether they know it or not.

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As we grow older, I feel as though I will be satisfied with everything I have accomplishment in my life. I am already super proud of myself for making it as far as I have in my life now. I have ego integrity for sure, there are no regrets and even if some come up the older I get, my accomplishments will outweigh the regrets by far.