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My  project title is “El Espiritu Vive Aun,” or “The Spirit Still Lives,” is meant to be ambiguous in that it could refer to the spirit of resilience and resistance in the Latine community lives on, the spirit of hatred and fear lives on, or that aun, after everything, the spirit lives on; whether that is the spirit of strength or fear is up to the interpreter.

Although it has not been realized, like its little, it lives on. Through this Padlet and through me.

This class has become a core memory of my Williams experience. The class provided a warm and welcoming environment even on the coldest of days. It was truly an honor to learn, imagine, and create alongside my peers. It was professor Rosario that provided all the necessary ingredients to make this class feel like a safe-haven.

I am not upset nor am I disappointed that my installation never came into fruition. Creating this Padlet has made me reflect on my growth in Archival Storytelling 410. My final project has been realized through me. At the heart of my Pachamama installation is the notion of healing in community. And that is exactly what I did. It took me from the beginning to the end of the semester to heal from the heartache I adopted of Latine students past and present. I was stubborn, inflexible, and held onto hatred. Through the help of my professor, my classmates, the Panelists, and la Pachamama, I was able to slowly heal. No longer did I feel the need to play savior and face aggressors head on. Instead I have chosen that protecting my peace is the strongest form of resistance I can possibly display. Furthermore, this journey has nurtured a relationship between la Pachamama, bringing me closer to my indigenous roots and all the more curious.

For this, I am grateful.

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Professor asks us to design our own final

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Professor asks us to design our own final

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My interpretation:
The collective is at the precipice of crashing and burning. Although each holds the capacity to accomplish their ambitions, the collective needs rest and to take care of themselves before they can think about the future.

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Professor has us pull Medicine Tarot Cards

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Professor has us pull Medicine Tarot Cards

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Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through the Ways of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

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It is announced that the final project format will be amended

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It is announced that the final project format will be amended

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Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988).

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Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988).

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Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988).

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Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988).

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Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988).

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Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988).

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Beginnings of the crochet grass (unfinished)

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Beginnings of the crochet grass (unfinished)

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Water/ waves to surround the patch of grass

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Water/ waves to surround the patch of grass

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Crochet Coca Leaves; offering for la Pachamama

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Crochet Coca Leaves; offering for la Pachamama

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I find scrap yarn at the Williams Fablab and collect some yarn from friends

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Passage I wrote when thinking about how to write my midterm; helped me decipher my feelings

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Passage I wrote when thinking about how to write my midterm; helped me decipher my feelings

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While my project is currently undergoing structural change the heart of the matter is still there; I want to honor the pain of the Latine students before me. The historic maltreatment of Latine students on campus has been swept under the rug for too long. The current racial tension on campus has been swelling and communities have been on high alert- rather- we have been alert since 2016. It has become second nature to us- marginalized groups- to constantly be on edge. I fear this is just the beginning. The progress marginalized groups have worked so hard for, the space we have cultivated for ourselves in a hostile environment is under siege. It is becoming increasingly difficult to survive under the suffocating hand of U.S politics. After repealing Roe v. Wade, we asked what is next? Affirmative action. After stripping women of our right to bodily autonomy, the United States has moved on to ensuring that underrepresented minorities are barred from higher education. The acts of hatred that have been becoming more frequent on the Williams campus are stepping stones to something bigger; we all feel it, the fear that has begun to seep further into the marrow of our bones. It is anything but a coincidence- I feel- that as the class and I began to investigate the state of affairs at Williams College in the late 1990s following the instatement of affirmative action, we are now living in fear affirmative action will be repealed in its entirety rather than being amended.

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Mayel and I decide to work together at her apartment 

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Mayel and I decide to work together at her apartment 

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Excerpt from The Artist Statement of My Midterm November 11, 2022

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Excerpt from The Artist Statement of My Midterm November 11, 2022

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When I first saw the printed sheet filled with slurs, I just stared at it because of course this happened and of course this information was stuffed in an old box and hidden away in the back of some stuffy corner on the fourth floor of sawyer.

I began to imagine all those students coming to Williams on the false premise that all they needed to do now, after working endlessly to get into a school of prestige like Williams, was to get their degree and get a job. Instead, they were driven out. How far does one have to push to give up on their dreams? How much hatred had to have been bred on this campus towards children who just wanted to get an education for themselves- for the benefit of those that sacrificed it all for them to be able to even step foot in an institution like Williams?

I was angry.

I felt like if I just put them back in the box and didn't do anything then I would be contributing to the erasure of Williams’ mistreatment of Latine students. I would be helping Williams hide away these artifacts out of shame and helping Williams foment the rhetoric of the utopian “purple bubble.” A fantastical notion pushed onto students and parent alike, that Williams offers a splendid degree of shelter against the “real life.” The reality is that the safety of the “purple bubble” truly only applies if you are the kind of student this PWI was built to house: White and relatively well-off.

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"My Entry point" class exercise October 19, 2022

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"My Entry point" class exercise October 19, 2022

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It's cold and it's dark and my mother is in distress, I- am in distress. The heat is off in the apartment and my brother is asleep, cuddled close to my mother who is pregnant and scared. My father's shift at the gas station ends around 3 in the morning and my mother cannot sleep. She wants her husband. The roads are glazed over with ice and the snow will not stop though it has already reached record heights.

It is cold, and dark, and so silent. And my mother just wants her husband to come home. He should have been home already. She sits on the apartment’s small couch, dressed in her winter jacket, watching the door and trying to keep my brother as warm as she can. The phone rings. My father was robbed at gunpoint and he has called my mother to let her know that he will be home soon, but first, he has decided to chase the man down to recover the cash stolen from his register-or, his boss’ register to be exact. It was no wonder the owner of the gas station loved my father so much. And his dedication to being a dependable, honest to god hard worker.

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Having a conversation with Mayel about our projects at Goodrich then going for a drive.

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Having a conversation with Mayel about our projects at Goodrich then going for a drive.

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empty frames meant to represent all the Latine students that dropped out of Williams due to the unwelcoming environment

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The goal was to take up space, honor those that were driven out of Williams simply for being Latine. A stool is shown holding up a locked box with an opening at the top. The installation was meant to be interactive. I would write an open letter to all the Latines driven to drop out of Williams and the audience was encouraged to do the same or write how this installation made them feel.

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After subjecting the class to my sub-par presentation, I was utterly terrified. I was disappointed in myself and embarrassed at how underdeveloped my project was.

Then Luiza offered me feedback. She gave me permission to let my project become a work of "craftivism." Luiza saw the conflict between my head and my heart. She knew I felt strongly about using this project as a way to call-out Williams on its disturbing past and honor the hardship minorities faced on campus. But she also saw how much more personal and "me" this latest sketch of a Pachamama alter was.

Luiza gave me the final push that allowed me accept I wasn't happy with the initial project I set out to do.

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Writing entry I made on my phone while Mayel drove us to get food. (We both hadn't eaten all day from all the stress)

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Writing entry I made on my phone while Mayel drove us to get food. (We both hadn't eaten all day from all the stress)

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It was easy for me to fall into a state of anger and thus the project began to run from me and while I was progressing in my work- as stubborn as I am- it still did not feel right.

I was ignoring myself in order to take on the impossible mission of having people repent for the transgressions they had made against my community. That is not possible. I had not stopped to question what felt so off about my project and part of it was because I was afraid to look back and lose the progress I had made.

It was not until Luiza gave me permission to let my project become a work of “craftivism” that my resolve cracked. Then, I was challenged by Mayel, she seemed to understand something I wasn’t or hadn’t let myself. It was Mayel that made me realize that the driving force behind my project had been anger.

Perhaps it was quite obvious to others but to me that is when I began to unravel and felt that I could not properly honor the Latine alumni of Williams with my work if my methods were to invoke remorse- at least the current version of myself is unable to. I felt guilty, I felt as though if I let go of this and if I didn't shove these images in people’s faces I would be backing down from my word, my silent promise to the Latine alums that I would obtain a certain justice by hold space for them in the present as I could not in the past.

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Midterm Presentations; November 9, 2022 

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Midterm Presentations; November 9, 2022 

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Professor instructed us to come to class with what we had. Present our ideas and ask the class for feedback.

The day before presentations I had 2 midterm exams back to back. I had spent the entire week balancing midterm assignments and studying for the exams that I will ill-prepared. I had so much information and I was stuck on how to honor and present it. This class was terrifying, but it also was instrumental.

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Brainstorming after-class and waiting to meet Mayel at Goodrich

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Sketch done right after response exercise

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Initial Sketch of Pachamama installation

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Initial Sketch of Pachamama installation

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During my exercise, I had the most to say about the comment about women, it was such a loaded and nasty remark especially given the time it was written. After writing my thoughts down for that particular slip of paper, I began this sketch.
The initial plan was for each slip of paper to have an installation to go along with it but this was the only instance in which I was quickly inspired.

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"What's my unique positionally on my topic?"

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My notes during Archival studies 410 the day we had Macarena as a guest speaker.

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Guest Speaker for class: Macarena Hernandez, November 2, 2022

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Guest Speaker for class: Macarena Hernandez, November 2, 2022

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That day was a turning point for me as Macarena reassured that I could tell a powerful story for myself. Prior I held onto the notion that I wanted my project to be direct and free from any sort of lens that would blur the message for the public. (rather than tint the windows I wanted them polished and clear as day so people had to confront Williams' ugly past without any sugarcoating.

This day, I was inspired by Macarena's story and how she was able to strike up a balance between honoring herself and honoring her stories.

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A sneaky selfie I took of myself and the mocktail the panelists bought for me to send to a friend updating them on my night as I had to cancel our meet-up.

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"Sorry I'm with the Vista panel. I have infiltrated the inner circle!" (9:44 pm)

" Now im having drinks with the latinas that ran the huger strike of 1993." (10:02 pm)

sent image along with the text: "There people are too cool and I am too young so tired but doing reporter work, can't keep up with these older women!" (10:04pm)

Mayel was also with me, we spoke with the lovely panelists for hours and late into the night. They recounted the hunger strike and the work they did. Certain names were brought up, pictures shown, tidbits of information as to who had a crush on what guy apart of the strike were even shared. This evening is a memory I will cherish.

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Memorial of the things stolen from a Latine student, hate speech left in the place of that student's things. There is a chest meant to collect peoples reactions to the mini memorial.  This is meant to be next to the installation I drew to the left of this post. The "Dear estudiante," at the top of the page was meant to hold space for the idea that I wanted to write a letter to this particular student and have it be a part of the alter. The victim was never identified nor was the bigoted thief ever punished or identified.

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An exercise in interacting with the archives in my unique way (writing what first comes to mind)

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I wanted to recreate the scene of the crime essentially. I wanted to have one desktop computer in sawyer near the research commons when you walk past the main desks, to be taken out of use and a part of this installation. I wanted to have this in Sawyer, where this act of hate occurred, and I wanted it to take up space.

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Professor Raymond Bake; Vocal Hypo(Critic)

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Professor Raymond Bake; Vocal Hypo(Critic)

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Criticizes Latine for deciding to hunger strike in hopes of having their needs met and voices heard as it was "not the best mechanism."

Claims "we can de better," referring to himself as apart of the group advocating for change although he did nothing to support Latine students.

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Williams faculty members ridicule the Latine community by comparing their resistance against institutional racism as

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Williams faculty members ridicule the Latine community by comparing their resistance against institutional racism as

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"a child trying to get back at his parents after a disagreement."

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Administrators and students protect systematic racism by describing Latine students' fight for equality as

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Administrators and students protect systematic racism by describing Latine students' fight for equality as

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"an ill-conceived unwarranted blow at the history department and the administration. [referring to the hunger strike]"

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Students and administrators disrespect and patronize strikers, labeling the hunger strike as 

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Students and administrators disrespect and patronize strikers, labeling the hunger strike as 

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"a childish immature act on the part of the Latino students to force the faculty and administration into giving them their bottle."

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30th Anniversary Hunger Strike Panel; October 28, 2022

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30th Anniversary Hunger Strike Panel; October 28, 2022

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The panel began just as I ended my work shift. I couldn't understand them well over zoom so I ran to Griffin where it was being held. They ended up only having time for one question and I was chosen.

I ask them about the slips of paper with hate speech in Sawyer, they did not hear of it, I show them photocopied documents. This prompted the panelists to open up about campus reactions to the hunger strike as well as how students and faculty/administrators alike expressed opposition to their cause.

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Alumni Panel: Commemorating 30th Anniversary Hunger Strikes that Led to Latino/a Studies at Williams

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Archival Studies Project Thoughts (in class) October 21, 2022

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Archival Studies Project Thoughts (in class) October 21, 2022

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My gut reaction to the scanned image of the hate speech is to display them, to have Williams confront what it was. I wanted students- particularly those who are legacy kids- to interact with the truth of what Williams was in the past and how these themes continue today.

I realize now what I really wanted was for the Williams alums of 1993 that created these hateful slips of paper, and the Williams alums who agreed with those messages to repent. Its almost like I wanted to publicly humiliate them like how they publicly threatened minorities at Williams. I wanted my project to be provocative, I wanted people to be appalled by what happened at Williams and realize its still happening today. I wanted to school to be embarrassed, I wanted them to have to speak on how terrible and unsafe Williams was for minorities not too long ago. I wanted to expose the dirty secret of the student(s) who wrote those messages and invoke feelings of shame and remorse, to remind them that they cannot simply pretend that it never happened.

I was seeking vindictive justice because the student(s) who wrote those notes, carved them into the desks of Sawyer, who stole a hispanic man's walkman and computer discs (his homework!). I know that now. I wanted those alums who helped create such a hostile environment on campus for minorities to be chastised- not only by me and my project- but by those who would see my project and feel the same way I did.

But I cannot control how others feel. I cannot be certain that those alums would even see it, or, if they did see it, how would I know that they would feel remorse rather than a twisted sense of pride because they're still raging racists, homophobes, and antisemites?

What I wanted was for people to feel remorseful. Perhaps even own up to their actions after all these years and apologize. This may make me sound naive but really what I wanted was closure for all parties involved. Some may say this is naive and they wouldn't be wrong, but I think my feelings were justified. Feasible? Perhaps not. But to me, it means my fighting spirit has not yet been subdued by all the hatred and pain in world.

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Image shared with me by Linda Ponce De Leon

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Collage shared with me by Linda Ponce De Leon

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Image shared with me by Linda Ponce De Leon

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Image shared with me by Linda Ponce De Leon

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Linda Ponce de Leon (left) and Tanya Nunez standing next to their younger selves in a video recorded where they speak about the hunger strike.

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Linda Ponce De Leon's Photomyne album shared with me

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Want to scan old photos, slides, or negatives of your own? Visit photomyne.com and explore the entire app suite to find the one that's best for your old memories.

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Marcela Peacock Collection
MC292
"Vista/Latinx"
Box 19; folders 432-452