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Moving Past Divorce | Counseling, Consulting & Seminars (RI & MA)

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The holidays are quickly approaching, and while for most people it is one of the best times of the year, for those who are co-parenting it can create some challenges. Navigating the holidays while also co-parenting can be difficult and may leave you with feelings of anxiety or stress concerning the season as a whole. You want to be able to enjoy the holidays, and also ensure that your family enjoys it as well. Here are some helpful tips that can help you and your children have a wonderful holiday.
The Kids Are The Priority
The most important thing to keep in mind during the holidays is that the children should come before anything else. When you are co-parenting, there is always the worry that your kids are not going to have the same experiences as they would if you were still with their other parent, and the holidays are an important time to keep this in mind.

For example, when you are co-parenting your children may have to squeeze 3-4 family gatherings into one day, half of which are with you and the other half with their other parent. This is hard on you, because for some of your gatherings you may not get to bring your children, or you'll have to spend a portion of it alone, but consider how this is going to impact your child.

When kids are taken from house to house to say hello, have some food, then move on to the next family member's home they are getting very little time to actually enjoy their family. Additionally, this takes away from their overall experience on the holiday. Instead of making memories with loved ones, your kids might have an exhausting and chaotic experience.

Over time, this can create resentment and distaste for the holiday itself, which is the last thing that you want. This same rule applies to other aspects of their holiday experience. When you are making plans and scheduling the day, it is very important to put their best interest first. How exactly you go about this will depend on your specific situation as well as the relationship you have with the other parent, but you both should prioritize compromises that benefit your children most.
Be Flexible
It can be very difficult to sacrifice parts of the holidays that you love and cherish in order to appease everyone in the situation, however, it is also important to make sure that you are being flexible. As much as you want to spend time with your kids on Thanksgiving or Christmas, so does their other parent and their family members.

It is also important to be flexible if everything does not go exactly as planned. Oftentimes things come up, and you may have to rearrange your schedule in order to ensure that everyone still has a good time. For example, perhaps their other parent's parents come into town unexpectedly, and they want to see your children. Creating extra time for your kids to visit with them may take away from some of the time you were supposed to spend with them, but it is important that they don't miss this opportunity to see their grandparents.

You may also have to be flexible about what is allowed when you are not around. While you may not agree with some of the rules or lack thereof that their other parents and their family allow when you are not around. However, you, unfortunately, cannot control what goes on when you aren't there, and setting rules with your children before they leave you is only going to create tension.
Coordinate Gifts
When you are co-parenting, children can sometimes receive duplicate presents if there isn't enough communication between both parents as well as extended family members. It is very easy for the holidays to become excessive, even in a home where parents are buying gifts together, but co-parenting can make it a lot easier for this to happen. This can especially be an issue when parents try to "outdo" each other when it comes to expense and quantity.

We all want to spoil our children, especially when we feel like there is something missing from their family dynamic. However it is also important to teach children good habits, and spending an excessive amount of money during the holidays can give them the wrong impression. It is a good idea to sit down with their other parent and discuss what you are going to purchase for your kids. Consistency is key in this scenario, so setting spending guidelines for each other can be very helpful as well.
Take Care of Yourself Too
While your children should be the priority during the holidays, don't forget to also take care of yourself. This time of year can easily become overwhelming, from all of the planning to the financial burden of gifts and other holiday-related activities, so self-care is important. You want to pay attention to your physical and mental health at this time because the better care you take of yourself the better you will be able to take care of your children.

If you are co-parenting as the result of a divorce, you probably had a divorce lawyer help you establish all of the rules and expectations for each party. However, the use of a mediator doesn't have to stop at the legal stage of the separation, and many co-parents benefit from help throughout the rest of their children's lives. Utilizing a divorce coach or therapist, or even a close friend you both trust as a mediator can be extremely helpful for your own sanities as well as for your kid's holiday experience.

The holidays can be a wonderful time of year, but they can also make the new adjustments you are going through seem even more difficult. You may have to spend some of your time away from your children, and that can be extremely stressful and sad to experience. If you are worried about these kinds of feelings, confide in a close family member or friend who will be at the event you are going to without your kids.

Having someone there who knows what you are going to do will make you feel more comfortable. You can also seek advice from a therapist about ways to cope with this adjustment and the absence of your kids during the holidays. Even if it is only for a few hours, you want to learn ways to enjoy the holidays for yourself even when the circumstances are not ideal.

Roni Davis is a writer, blogger, and legal assistant operating out of the greater Philadelphia area. She writes for a divorce mediation attorney

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Co-Parenting During The Holidays - Moving Past Divorce | Counseling, Consulting & Seminars (RI & MA)

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The holidays are quickly approaching, and while for most people it is one of the best times of the year, for those who are co-parenting it can create some challenges. Navigating the holidays while also co-parenting can be difficult and may leave you with feelings of anxiety or stress concerning the season as a whole.

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When co-parenting during the holidays, remember to collaborate and communicate with your ex-spouse.

Categories: Children's and Parenting Issues after Divorce

Going through a divorce brings up intense emotions in families, but co-parenting during the holidays brings up even more intense feelings of sadness, guilt, regret, and anger. The true spirit of the holidays of love and kindness can easily be lost while one is flooded with negative emotions. It is really important to remember what holidays mean to children and to extended members of the family. Holidays and special days often have a history, traditions, and stories attached to them. During the divorce process, many of the losses come into sharp focus resulting in the emotional thermometer hitting the highs. With time and healing, some families are able to overcome these negative emotions and combine certain celebrations and invite the other parent. However, it is often too painful and confusing to do this at the earlier stages of divorce.

As you plan for the holidays, always avoid any situations where there is a potential for tension and conflict in front of the children. Here are some cooling and comforting tips to navigate co-parenting during the holidays mindfully and buffer the children from the harshness of intense emotions:

Co-Parenting During the Holidays: 5 Tips for Keeping Your Cool

1. Do not make your children choose between mom and dad.

By and large, parents and children benefit when holidays and special occasions are shared equally. A lot of how holidays are split also depends on the ages of the children, the distance between the parents' homes, and whether travel is involved.

2. Collaborate as parents to plan the logistics ahead of time.

When co-parenting, it helps to establish new traditions by including your children's wishes and getting the cooperation of extended family members. Children often do not have much control over the parenting plans and scheduling, so giving them control over the activities and traditions helps them look forward to the holidays rather than dread the changes.

3. Give the children a sense of continuity despite the inevitable changes that come with divorce.

Some of the family traditions may need to change with the divorce while some may not need to be changed. Allow the children a chance to talk about their feelings and desires, and acknowledge their difficulties while providing them with structure and hope for the future.

4. Communicate clearly in words, and non-verbally, the spirit of the holidays.

Love, peace, and giving are central to most holidays. For parents who are co-parenting, when the children are spending time with the other parent, the holidays can bring up unbearable sadness or loneliness, but remember that it's important for your children to have experiences with both parents. Let your child know that you will be thinking about him/her, and that you will be OK. Don't put yourself and your children in a situation where your children feel any responsibility for your emotional well-being. You may be tempted to say, "I'll miss you so much, I just don't know what I'll do." Rather say, "I know you'll have a great time with your mom/dad and I can't wait to hear about it." Plan ahead to have your family and friends around and take care of your own emotional needs at this time. You want your children to be free to enjoy their holiday with the other parent and not worry about you.

5. It takes a village to raise children, so help them see the community of support they have, especially during the holidays.

Help them connect with siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, peers, and their school, and prepare others ahead of time to focus on the true spirit of the holidays. Use the community support yourself to remember that you are not alone while co-parenting during the holidays.

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Co-Parenting During the Holidays: 5 Tips for Keeping Your Cool

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Categories: Children's and Parenting Issues after Divorce Going through a divorce brings up intense emotions in families, but co-parenting during the holidays brings up even more intense feelings of sadness, guilt, regret, and anger. The true spirit of the holidays of love and kindness can easily be lost while one is flooded with negative emotions.

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"The most wonderful time of the year" has the potential to become not so wonderful when parents who share custody of their children don't have a mutually agreeable holiday plan in place. This isn't the time for arguments over who's getting which day or who's buying what gift; a carefully thought-out plan can help you avoid tension and uncertainty so that all of you - most importantly, your kids - can enjoy a drama-free winter break.

When deciding how to schedule time and collaborate during the holidays, co-parents should take a number of factors into account: the children's ages, family traditions and religious beliefs, how well the parents get along, and the kind of relationships the parents have with each of the children (it's important to respect the traditions that are important to each of them). You might also want to factor in what happens during other school breaks during the year. For example, if one parent traditionally takes the kids on a vacation during spring break, then perhaps the other should get the bulk of winter break.

Looking at the big picture can help you see the logical plan for your family.
Setting a Sensible Schedule
Co-parents typically choose to manage the holiday season one of two ways:

1. Alternating years. One parent keeps the children for the entire winter break in odd-numbered years; the other parent gets them for the entire break in even-numbered years. This approach enables each parent, in their designated years, to plan a lengthy trip or schedule activities throughout the break period without needing to worry about giving the other parent equal time. It tends to work best when neither parent has a strong affinity for the season. Perhaps their religious traditions are celebrated at other times of year; a family may have already celebrated Hanukkah, for example, which often falls before winter break.

The downside of this type of arrangement is that one parent is deprived of holiday time with the children during the parent's "off" years. This causes many co-parents, especially those who place a high value on holiday traditions, to take a different approach.

2. Equal time. Often, co-parents divide winter break in half, which typically gives each of them a week to celebrate the holidays or take a trip with their kids. They may alternate years when considering who takes the first week versus the second, since Christmas usually falls in the first. Parents may also choose to split the time by day, particularly when it comes to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. By each taking one of these important days, both parents, as well as the children, get meaningful Christmas time together each year.

In situations where co-parents get along, a third possibility arises: giving the children time with both parents together. For example, children who believe in Santa and cherish Christmas mornings might appreciate having both parents present in those festivities. In fact, children of any age might appreciate a visit by their other parent, as long as the experience remains amicable.
Buying Gifts: Together or Separately?
If your winter break includes a gift-giving occasion, it makes good sense to collaborate with your ex-spouse so you don't duplicate gifts for your children or inadvertently neglect to buy the gifts they wanted most because you assumed the other parent was buying them. In a Santa situation, discuss who is responsible for that experience. Will it change year to year based on who has the kids on Christmas, or will you work together?

The more collaborative you can be, the better. However, if you absolutely cannot work with your ex-spouse, then it's important to work through counsel to determine who will be responsible for what so you don't put your children through undue awkwardness or stress.

You may also want to consider taking your children shopping so they can buy a holiday gift for the other parent. It teaches children not only about giving, but shows that you encourage kindness towards your ex-spouse.
Making the Plan Official
Your holiday plans should be set forth in the custody settlement agreed to in your divorce. The settlement should specify how school holidays-winter break, spring break and the long weekends of Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc.-will be spent and apportioned from year to year. You may want to address what will happen on specific religious holidays your family honors that aren't included in the school schedule as well. If you decide to continue the regular parenting schedule during a school break, then you should provide such in your agreement. Not doing so leaves the door open for the other parent to later ask a Court to decide whether it should be split or alternated.

Also take your children's ages into account. Phase-in provisions can be included in regular custody schedules, as well as holiday schedules, when young children are involved. For example, your settlement might set forth one arrangement covering the holidays from 2019-2023, with a different arrangement starting in 2024.

Our advice to co-parents is to sign an agreement that makes sense for your family and then put it in a drawer and live your lives. Try to be accommodating toward each other, working together and adapting as things may change. As long as you agree, you can adjust or change schedules. When you can't agree to such modifications, a well-considered and negotiated settlement agreement provides the certainty of a schedule around which you can plan.

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"The most wonderful time of the year" has the potential to become not so wonderful when parents who share custody of their children don't have a mutually agreeable holiday plan in place.

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Karen Covy, Chicago Divorce Coach and Recovering Attorney

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12 Tips for Surviving Divorce During the Holidays

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Surviving divorce during the holidays (especially when you have kids!) can be a challenge. Here are 12 tips to make your holidays brighter.

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Divorce and the holidays can make for a challenging season. It is hard to celebrate when your world is crumbling. Experiencing intense anger, fear, or hurt will stop even the sunniest of personalities from bubbling over with Christmas cheer.

Divorce and the Holidays: You Can Choose to Stay In and Nurture Yourself

Perhaps this is the year that you sit out the frenetic round of parties. Most people know that divorce can be a very traumatic experience, and they'll understand if you're not up to participating in festivities. Pick what is most meaningful for you and let go of the rest. When invited to events, feel free to say that you are unavailable and cannot attend. Explanations are not required.

You can choose to curl up on the couch and catch up with reading, or watching classic television specials, or binging an entire season of an entertaining show on Netflix instead of trying to make small talk at one cocktail party after another. It is fine to have downtime, recharge your emotional batteries, and get ready for what lies ahead in your divorce proceedings. Do what is best for you - and don't feel pressured into attending events that are more duty than fun.

Divorce and the Holidays: You Can Also Choose to Go Out and Have Fun

Extroverts, such as myself, may choose to have an active holiday season. Many of us get a big energy boost when being around others, which aided me during my own divorce. Keeping busy is a way to avoid dwelling on your situation and heading down a long, dark tunnel of grief or anger. There are plenty of fun distractions during the holiday season to help take your mind off divorce and to reduce stress.

However, not being paired up anymore can feel lonely or awkward, and those feelings may tempt you to forego going out altogether. Some newly single people feel more comfortable being in places where it is not apparent they are by themselves. There are various ways to feel connected to others when attending events alone. One is enjoying concerts (often free) in different settings, such as churches. Another is being part of a crowd awaiting the lighting of a town square or tree. For me, it was thrilling to see a dark Oxford Street in London spring to life with thousands of Christmas lights and live music. Sharing this exciting experience with so many others kept me from feeling lonely during my divorce.

Divorce and the Holidays: Consider Hanging Out with Single Friends and Co-Workers

A woman I interviewed suggested hanging out with single co-workers of different ages. The twenty-somethings she works with are not yet married, and her buddies near retirement age have been married for so long that their spouses are fine with them having a bit of fun without them. She was surprised how much" spunk and energy" some of these 60 to 75-year-olds have and enjoys their company - including during the holiday season. While you were married, you may not have paid much attention to socializing with colleagues. Let them know that you would like to join their get-togethers.

See what your single friends are doing and accompany them to holiday gatherings. My divorced friend and I are willing to go to each other's events, and can deflect unwelcome questions or prying from acquaintances if necessary. My married pals will meet up during the day and are happy to indulge in decant Christmas desserts and lattes.

Your Family Can Help Fill a Gap

During divorce and beyond, many people I talked with said that they spend holidays with family who may live nearby, across the country, or even in another country altogether. They feast a large part of the day and partake in other activities that may bring back happy childhood memories or create brand-new traditions. These individuals explained that their families helped to fill a gap - keenly felt on special holidays - left by a departing spouse.

After my divorce, my two sons and I went away for several Christmases. I am an only child and my parents are deceased. Getting away helped my family of three start new traditions post-divorce as well as end the ones that no longer fit our family. If you have children, consider asking them which traditions they feel are the most meaningful or fun and plan to continue them. Ditch the other ones.

Look for the Upside

There are perks to going through a divorce and the holidays. I am no longer spending hours in the kitchen instead of spending time with my kids. My motto is simple, quick, but elegant. I get quiche for brunch from a fabulous bakery. A few delicious foods, instead of the large spread I did when married, is quite satisfying for a Christmas dinner. The three of us go to a movie both on Christmas and New Year's Day. We are entertained by a film instead opening a lot of presents post-divorce. Stockings and a few items to unwrap is all we need.

Look for the positives during or after divorce and the holidays and you will find them. Focusing only on sadness and loss leads you to have such a negative outlook that you'll be unable to recognize the silver linings that came with your divorce.

For example, I used to give extravagant Christmas parties for my husband's colleagues, clients, and friends. I spent days shopping, baking, cooking, and cleaning up afterwards. It was a nightmare - and I am so glad that those days are over. I did not realize how much all that work drained my energy, plus attending endless cocktail gatherings when I would rather have been home with my boys. Divorce taught me to be with those that I cherish and to celebrate holidays in a way that is most meaningful - to me and to my children.

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Divorce and the Holidays: How to Survive this Holiday Season

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Divorce and the holidays can make for a challenging season. It is hard to celebrate when your world is crumbling. Experiencing intense anger, fear, or hurt will stop even the sunniest of personalities from bubbling over with Christmas cheer. Perhaps this is the year that you sit out the frenetic round of parties.

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This Tuesday, Dec. 21, is the winter solstice, which of course, marks the beginning of the winter season and is the shortest day of the year. This magical changing of seasons has been celebrated for years, with traditions and rituals that honor the rising winter sun. If you'd like to celebrate the occasion yourself this year, incorporating some yoga poses for the winter solstice into your day could be the perfect way to honor and respect all that nature does for us.

All around the world, people celebrate the winter solstice in different ways. In England, for example, you can see the beautiful solstice sunrise from the ancient Stonehenge rocks, and people often play instruments and participate in yoga flows as they wait for the sun to come up.

TBH, nothing sounds more marvelous than partaking in this sacred ceremony, but since a last-minute flight to England just isn't exactly in the cards right now, these at-home yoga sequences for the solstice will definitely do.

The power of mindful movement and expansive breath can truly do no wrong, and it's the perfect way to honor the changes taking place in the natural world, especially with the arrival of a solstice. Instead of resisting the extra darkness that this day brings, open your heart, welcome the change, and turn inward with intention to allow your body to adapt to this sacred time of year. Whether you've never done yoga or a yoga pro, you'll be able to follow along to this yoga sequence for a peaceful and powerful start to the winter solstice. Consider lighting a few candles before you begin to set the mood.

When the winter solstice arrives, try this yoga flow to slow down, let go of what no longer serves you, and create the space to breathe.

After you've finished your relaxing yet energizing yoga sequence, continue to take a few moments to yourself by journaling, making a cup of tea, going on a walk outside, or reading a book. Ease back into the world slowly incorporating gratitude throughout the rest of this year's winter solstice.

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20 Yoga Poses For The Winter Solstice That'll Cleanse Your Mind & Body

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This Tuesday, Dec. 21, is the winter solstice, which of course, marks the beginning of the winter season and is the shortest day of the year. This magical changing of seasons has been celebrated for years, with traditions and rituals that honor the rising winter sun.

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The biggest challenge for the holiday season is finding the perfect gift for your loved one and surviving the Christmas binge. With only 7 days until Santa officially comes, here are 7 vital tips to make it through the last week of holiday madness.

You can do it...with a healthy spirit too.

1. Up Your Water Intake

There is no denying that your alcohol consumption is higher during the holidays. Ensure that your blood doesn't become a wine stream by drinking more water. Keep a glass by water on your bedside table to drink first thing in the morning and carry a water bottle with you at all times. We love this collapsible bottle from our healthy gift guide!

2. Be Nice, Not Naughty

When you have a Scrooge in your presence it is a real downer, so don't be one yourself. Christmas is as good a time as any to be in a good spirits. Be compassionate with others and yourself. Smile often, laugh a lot. And if you need, it utilize aromatherapy to change your mood. Dealing with difficult co-workers

3. Pull an All-Nighter (Sleeping)

Leave the staying up all night to Santa. There is only so much partial shut eye you can get before your body shuts down on you. Give the excitement of Christmas a break and give your body and mind a few full nights of rest. Tips for better sleep.

4. Fuel Up on Something other than Cookies

Whoever decided that sending sweets is a good gift idea is sorely mistaken. Cookies and chocolates are constantly in your face from the grocery store to your office, but don't let all the icing and sprinkles fool you. You don't have to ignore them all together. Just eat smart! Indulge in one large snowman cookie or 2 small snowflakes and enjoy every bite of the portioned control holiday-themed treat.

5. Seek out Vitamin D

The sun has taken cover and your immune system has gone into hibernation. Cure a host of seasonal ailments by adding a vitamin D supplement to your menu (ie egg yolks, salmon, shitake mushrooms) or bust out your bikini and sun bathe in the snow.

6. Fit in Fitness this Christmas

Whether you are busy or bored, your fitness routine normally takes a major dip this time of year. We recommend completely changing your fitness routine during the holidays so that you force your body to adapt to something new, stay enthusiastic about fitness and keep burning off that eggnog. At a loss on what to do?

7. Veg Out

Take this time to kick your feet up and actually relax...but also eat your vegetables. Get in the habit of eating a plate that is ¼ lean protein, ¼ whole grains and ½ veg now so that you don't go into veggie shock when the New Year comes. Let's just say you should make an effort to remain familiar with the word lettuce.

What are your healthy tips for Christmas week? Share them in the comment section below.

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7 Health and Wellness Tips to Survive Christmas Week

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The biggest challenge for the holiday season is finding the perfect gift for your loved one and surviving the Christmas binge. With only 7 days until Santa officially comes, here are 7 vital tips to make it through the last week of holiday madness. You can do it...with a healthy spirit too.

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On the first day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: LETTING GO

I'm letting go of the 'perfect Christmas' myth and appreciating that it exists only on the television and in my dreams. I'm going to work on enjoying this holiday with all its imperfections and chaos.

On the second day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: ASKING FOR HELP

I don't have to 'do it all' this Christmas and then feel overwhelmed and resentful. Instead, I am giving myself permission to share the work-load and to ask my family and friends for help.

On the third day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: NO MORE PLEASING

I'm giving up on the notion of trying to please everyone this Christmas. It is an unachievable and totally impossible task.

On the fourth day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: BODY ACCEPTANCE

Everyday, I'm working on showing acceptance and gratitude for the body I have. I will stand tall, smile and wear clothes that I love on Christmas Day.

On the fifth day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: MAGIC

If I'm spending time with young children (my own or otherwise), I'm going to pause to embrace the fun and wonder of Christmas through their eyes.

On the sixth day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: CONNECTION

I'm going to take care of myself if I feel lonely. I'll be proactive and reach out to friends, neighbours, family or maybe I'll volunteer. I'll also be compassionate and self-caring towards myself if these things aren't possible right now.

On the seventh day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: HUMOUR

I'm working to see the funny side of things and remembering that humour can be a wonderful easer of tension.

On the eighth day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: NO DIETING

I am not depriving myself or labelling foods as 'forbidden' this Christmas, as I know this leaves me feeling miserable, and more likely to binge or over-eat later on. Instead, I'm going to eat with awareness and savour every scrumptious mouthful without guilt.

On the ninth day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: TIME OUT

I'm taking some time out for myself when things get hectic. I might go for a walk or take some fresh air. Maybe I'll go and read my new book for half an hour.

On the tenth day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: DRINK AWARENESS

I'm choosing how much alcohol I drink, showing awareness for its affects on my mood and inhibitions.

On the eleventh day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: VALUING TIME

I am not being pulled onto the material train, feeling pressurised to buy loads of stuff that we don't need and then worrying about paying it all off. I know that spending time with friends and family, whilst creating memories is more important.
On the twelfth day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: SELF-FORGIVENESS
I am regularly forgetting all the above and returning to my old ways of coping. However, I am being kind to myself and showing self-forgiveness. Like everybody else, I am a work in progress. I am trying to keep perspective and remembering that Christmas Day is only one day of the year!

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On the first day of Christmas I gave a gift to me: LETTING GO I'm letting go of the 'perfect Christmas' myth and appreciating that it exists only on the television and in my dreams. I'm going to work on enjoying this holiday with all its imperfections and chaos.

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When the days get shorter, the sun shines lower in the sky, and the weather gets colder, people often experience a drop in mood. For some, the change is serious: They have difficulty getting up in the morning and feel lethargic much of the day. They crave sunlight and certain foods, and have to fight the urge to burrow under the covers until spring comes.

These are all symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. SAD is seasonal mood disorder that usually erupts in October and November, when the days become shorter, and typically remits when spring approaches. SAD can look and feel much like depression, but it has a seasonal pattern-usually beginning and ending with fall and spring, and tending to happen similarly in consecutive years.

Here are 10 common symptoms of SAD:

1. Depressed mood most of the day nearly every day.

2. Loss of interest in things you used to find interesting or enjoyable.

3. Changes in sleep patterns-primarily oversleeping.

4. Low energy and lethargy.

5. Difficulty with concentration and focus.

6. Feeling anxious or irritable, or having difficulty managing stress.

7. A reluctance to engage with others and a desire to be alone.

8. Decreased libido and sexual desire.

9. Craving sunlight.

10. Craving carbohydrate-rich foods (and resulting weight gain).

If you think you might be suffering from SAD you should consult a mental health professional. In addition, there are a number of things you can do to ease your symptoms:
1. Try light therapy.
SAD is fundamentally about a lack of light (and not the lower temperature). You should prioritize getting outside on sunny days as much as you can. But aside from that, light boxes, lamps, and visors can provide up to 10,000 LUX of light, functioning as a "sun replacement." Light therapy has been shown to be very effective for treating SAD. Be sure to get your device from a reputable company and to follow the "dosing" guidelines.
2. Maintain a steady sleep schedule.
Since SAD often induces sleep disturbances and disturbances in circadian rhythms, it is important to maintain a relatively strict sleeping schedule.
3. Spend time outdoors.
SAD can make you want to hibernate and lock yourself indoors until spring. Spending time outdoors and in nature combats this desire and restores mood and energy levels.
4. Go on vacation (as therapy).
Winter vacations to sunny climates can be an important way to alleviate the symptoms of SAD and break up the long winter. (Plus, it's easier to justify a vacation if it counts as therapy, too.)
5. Eat a balanced diet.
Craving carbs can make you gain weight, which itself can contribute to a bad mood and negative outlook. Try to find a balance between indulging your craving for carbs and eating sufficient amounts of protein and vegetables, while not going over your normal caloric intake. It is natural to gain a few pounds over the winter but the only way to make sure it doesn't become more than that is to be mindful of your food intake.
6. Medication.
Many people who suffer from SAD take antidepressants seasonally, starting in the fall and then weaning off of them in the spring. If you think you could benefit from antidepressants, make an appointment with a psychiatrist or your primary-care physician.
For more ways to increase your emotional health, check out, Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other Everyday Hurts (Plume, 2014). Copyright 2015 Guy Winch

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10 Signs of Seasonal Depression (and 6 Ways to Fight It)

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When the days get shorter, the sun shines lower in the sky, and the weather gets colder, people often experience a drop in mood. For some, the change is serious: They have difficulty getting up in the morning and feel lethargic much of the day.

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If shorter days and shifts in weather zap your energy and make you feel blue, you've got classic symptoms of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) - a form of depression triggered by changes in daylight and weather that occur primarily in the fall and winter.

Why do some people get SAD? Experts aren't certain, but some think that those seasonal changes disrupt the body's circadian rhythm, the 24-hour clock that regulates how we function during sleeping and waking hours, causing us to feel energized and alert sometimes and drowsy at other times.

Another theory is that the changing seasons disrupt hormones, such as serotonin and melatonin, which regulate sleep, mood, and feelings of well-being.

Whatever the causes of one's SAD may be, the signs and symptoms typically can include:

Feelings of depression that happen most of the day, every day, in a seasonal pattern

Having tiredness or low energy

Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy

Changes in appetite or weight gain

Sleeping too much

RELATED: 11 Ways to Chase Away Warm-Weather Seasonal Depression
How Common Is SAD?

About 4 to 6 percent of people in the United States have SAD, according to the American Academy of Family Physicians. And as many as 20 percent may have a mild form of it - often called the " winter blues " - that starts when days get shorter and colder, the organization adds.

Women and young adults are more likely to experience SAD, as are those who live farther away from the equator. People with a family history or diagnosis of depression or bipolar disorder may be particularly susceptible.

"It is important to treat SAD, because all forms of depression limit people's ability to live their lives to the fullest, to enjoy their families, and to function well at work," says Deborah Pierce, MD, MPH, a family medicine specialist at the University of Rochester Medical Center in New York.

To help manage SAD, here are a few options you might want to consider.

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If you tend to get the "winter blues," you may have seasonal affective disorder. Therapy, medication, and light boxes could bring relief.

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Standing in my ice-cold garage, next to the water-softener unit, hair-dryer in hand, I reminded myself of the personal mantra I had adopted just days before:

"Embrace the winter," I had told myself. "Embrace it."

This was not a flippant decision on my part. Winter might be the highpoint of the year for deer hunters, snowmobile enthusiasts, and would-be college hockey forwards, but these barren months between Christmas and Memorial Day often leave me feeling as if I'm walking through some of the most woebegone settings from the darkest pages of the Old Testament. Sure, winter begins with that cozy sense of novelty. The silencing effect of the first snow. The nestled coziness that hits you when you swaddle yourself next to your loved one in a thick, fuzzy blanket. A little Bing Crosby or Frank Sinatra crooning about Bethlehem and pine branches. It's great at first. But something happens to the snow after we put away the tree and shove the holiday tubs back into their dank corners in the garage. Abruptly, that blanket of religious joy becomes a harbinger of the long slog which awaits us. In 2011 winter covered us in a three-and-a-half inch sheet of solid ice. Footnote Three years later the heavens visited upon us the heaviest snowfall since the blizzard of '78, and the year after that we dug out of another foot of snow. Even when the skies hold off on the precipitation-as they did for the next two winters-daily life transitioned into a routine obstacle course.

Taking the dogs out meant finding pants, hunting for shoes, trundling on a coat, knocking the ice out of the frozen tether clasps, latching them onto Fido's collar while a stout north breeze tears a layer of flaky, dead skin off my cheek. Every doorknob, the edge of the trashcan, even the lip of my computer promised that sharp static shock of pain which always-always-elicited an exaggerated flailing of the hands and muttered profanity. Driving to the store requires a pre-mission checklist rivaling a space-walk. After spending the summer washing, waxing, and detailing your car, you surrender it to the ice and salt and filth which coats it forming the scaly hide it wears until the spring. Everything is harder in the winter. Everything is a chore. Winter is work.

I remember when winters were even worse. When I was younger and poorer I burned firewood and spent many a frozen weekend lugging a chainsaw down the side of a ravine, hacking away at a fallen ash tree, and shouldering the rounds back up the hillside to the bed of my pickup. I spent many more hours outside the back door, forcing a splitting wedge into the crack I'd made across a red oak or cherry round, throwing my body out of joint as I dropped the blunt end of my maul onto the wedge's top. There were the frequent battles with the mouth of my wood stove, as it rejected the piece of hickory I doggedly forced inside it. I still bear the half-moon scar from the bloodiest battle, when the top of my hand settled into the white hot edge of the stove.

My 21st century woes pale, however, compared to what my late grandparents endured. They were sharecroppers, until they finally bought the land they tilled in the early '60's. Consider that, for most of their lives, they got along without running water. A late night "call of nature" meant bundling up for a trip to a freezing, putrid outhouse (or a night breathing that odor wafting out of a chamber pot). The simple things...a pot of coffee...a bath...all came at an enormous expense of labor and time. And they lived through those longs months without any of the electronic and digital creature-comforts we turn to in our boredom. By the time the spring thaw opened the pores of the earth, they must have welcomed the suffocating load of hard work ahead of them with raised hands and deep gratitude.

To what degree human beings and winter are symbiotic and natural is a debate beyond my pay-grade. Obviously plenty of cultures both North American and European have proven for centuries that human beings can adapt to brutal conditions the dark months throw at them. But adapting and thriving are not the same thing. That becomes the fundamental question to this notion of "embracing" something as alien as the winter: how does one thrive?

I could move, of course. It's not impossible. Moving is also not practical...at least not now. I could also pick up ski-jumping as a hobby, but something tells me that the ensuing medical bills would savage my credit score. I could study the ways of Inuit, perhaps spending weekends in my back yard igloo. Or I can just accept winter for what it is: the four month stretch where the northern half of the world averts its eyes from the sun like a red-head on a Caribbean beach.

Winter is hard...yes. But when those spring breezes come, I'll be all the more appreciative. And when that thick layer of steaming humidity sets upon us in June and July, when the heat and moisture makes breathing a high-impact workout routine, I will draw in that scorching air with long, happy, and pleasantly defiant breaths.

For now, however, winter rages on. More snow will come, I think. I get the sense we're in for one of those seasons. But when I trudge those two goldendoodles out to the porch and pick another fight with the sharp winds, the biting temperatures, the fidgeting dogs, and frozen clasps...I will find it within me to embrace it. I am a Hoosier, after all, and all the headaches of winter come with the pedigree.

[author title="About Donovan Wheeler" image="http://nationalroadmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Me-Profile-150x150.jpg"]Wheeler proudly teaches AP Literature and AP Language to some bright and lovably obnoxious kids in a small college town. He also contributes to the craft beer website Indiana on Tap and writes for ISU's STATE Magazine. He started learning to play guitar last fall, but he remains terrible at it.[/author]

Footnote

That winter seven of us hunkered down in the house like vassals waiting out a barbarian siege. On the sixth day-low on supplies (especially beer)-we ventured into town. Upon returning, the power had gone out. One of those pathetically American "garage door" families, we found ourselves locked out of our house. Hoping the garage door was somehow not connected to the lift motor, I got out of the SUV and tried to throw the door open. While I never moved the door, I did flop onto the ice repeatedly, trying all the while to still the anger inside me while all the kids howled from inside the car. Hoping again that the back door the garage would be unlocked, I tried to work my around the south side of the house. Every third step came with a complementary face-plant onto the ice. When-after the fourth of fifth fall-I felt myself sliding away from the house, down the gentle hillside to our neighbor's low grounds, I grunted in a panicked death grunt, terrified that I would spend the next eight weeks living among the rabbits eating rotten walnuts until the thaw let me come home. After crawling back to the car, I sat in the driver's seat staring at our impenetrable home, dreaming of the warmth inside those walls. On a whim, I pushed the garage door button. The door lifted. The entire episode spanned maybe twenty minutes. Return to Paragraph

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Standing in my ice-cold garage, next to the water-softener unit, hair-dryer in hand, I reminded myself of the personal mantra I had adopted just days before: "Embrace the winter," I had told myself. "Embrace it." This was not a flippant decision on my part.

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What is Norway's friluftsliv and will it help you enjoy winter? - Lonely Planet

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Norway has strong outdoor traditions, even in the depths of winter. In a country where winters are stubbornly long and dark, they've learned to embrace the...

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What Scandinavians Can Teach Us About Embracing Winter (Published 2020)

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In the pandemic, rather than feeling depressed that the arrival of cold weather will mean you’ll be isolated indoors, try adopting a positive winter mind-set.

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People in the the United States and some other parts of the world marked the end of daylight saving time this past week with the ritual grumbling over early sunsets and worrying about the long winter ahead. In order to better prepare for the months ahead, Rolling Stone sought the advice of Cecilia Blomdahl, who saw the sun set for the last time this year on Oct. 27 and won't see it rise again until March 2023.

Blomdahl, a resident of the Norwegian archipelago of Svalbard near the North Pole, is known for her TikToks chronicling her life in a cabin on the tundra. Some of her most popular videos, racking up millions of views each, document the island's seasonal extremes. At such a high latitude, by this time of year, the tilting of the earth's axis has tipped Svalbard so far into darkness that the sun doesn't cross its horizon, no matter the time of day. Between mid-November and late February, Svalbard will be so far in shadow that daytime there will be a total blackout, as dark as midnight, 24 hours a day. The four sunless months, where temperatures average in the teens, are known as the polar night.

It is Blomdahl's favorite time of year.

Blomdahl, 32, arrived in Svalbard in 2015 on a lark. A few colleagues from the hotel where she worked in her home country of Sweden decided to move there, and Blomdahl, having already lived in London, Sydney, and Miami during her adult life, was ready for her next adventure. "At that point, I had never even heard about Svalbard, I did not know it existed," she says. "I was like, that sounds exciting. Polar bears! I decided to just come here and work for a little bit. And then I never left."

While living in Svalbard took some adapting, Blomdahl has always loved the winter. She finds the midnight sun - the period of summer opposite the polar night where the sun is up 24 hours a day stressful, "like a long psychosis," she tells Rolling Stone. "For me, the endless daylight is a little bit mind-crazy," she says. "You can never get out of it. It's a lot more intense. I love polar night so much more because it comes with such a feeling of coziness and community. And it's a lot easier on the body."

When Blomdahl first began posting on TikTok in late 2020, her videos resonated with people looking to indulge their escapist fantasies during the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown. Her early viral hits, like an 18-second video showing polar bear tracks beneath the Northern Lights, soon gave way to day-in-the-life content as viewers expressed fascination with her remote lifestyle. On her channel, she describes working in the only women's retail store on the island, preparing kefir for breakfast, and how she renovated the cabin she purchased three years ago with her boyfriend, Christoffer, so that they can shower on site. Commenters often ask about the Svalbard dating scene - she met her partner while working as a booking manager for a restaurant in the island's main village of Longyearbyen.

With a background in wildlife and drone photography, Blomdahl excels at capturing the majestic scenery outside her door, like the glaciers and fin whales in the fjord she can see from her porch. But viewers also flock to her more mundane content, like videos starring her finnish lapphund, Grim, tutorials on how she makes her bed, and vlogs of her going to her manicurist in town. Blomdahl's voiceover is upbeat and guileless, totally lacking in any affectations one might associate with TikTok voice.

"My name is Cecilia and I live on Svalbard an island close to the North Pole," she says at the start of each video, oftentimes in one breath. Recent posts have delved more into the quirks of living on the island, like rules against owning cats - too big a risk to the ecosystem - and a requirement that pregnant people fly to mainland Norway from the lone airport one month before their due date. The combination of lifestyle and adventure content works, drawing a fandom of more than two million followers and 48 million likes to her page. About a year ago, Blomdahl and Christoffer quit their day jobs to dedicate themselves full time to her social media channels.

As the seasons shift, Blomdahl, who seems to be consistently chipper, celebrates the changes to her routine. When sunsets finally returned after the summer of round-the-clock brightness, she posted a video declaring September the start of " home cinema season," and cheered that it was dark enough outside to watch movies on her cabin's screen projector. A month later, videos of her preparing for the start of the polar night, which began Oct. 27, drew millions of views. In the posts, she and Christoffer clean house, hang string lights, do laundry, light candles, and take in some of the final sunsets of the year. The scene is ultra cozy - a dimly lit Scandinavian-style living room with a fire burning, wood stacked nearby, and a darkening sea visible through the windows. It's a vibe Blomdahl could teach a masterclass in - "Our whole life is hygge," she says at one point, referring to the Danish word evoking coziness and comfort - and we asked her to do just that.

Here, Blomdahl offers Rolling Stone her best tips for thriving during winter, which for many can feel like a polar night even if they still see the sun every day. She says more people should embrace the season. "I really think it is a matter of how you go into it," she says. "There's so much beauty in the darkness."

Get the right light

"Since we don't have any natural light at all during the polar night, you would be surprised how dark a house gets. It's really difficult to light up a house [during the day] when there's no real light at all. So make sure you have enough lighting. Try to find that yellow light, because white light is quite harsh on you, it's going to make you feel tired. String lights are the best thing in the entire world. I don't know why it's such a mood booster but there's just something magical about it. We have them lining the entire ceiling. They're just around a copper wire. It costs almost nothing and it brings you so much joy.

"For mornings, wake-up lights are life-changing. It wakes you slowly with the [simulated] sunrise, and I definitely need that help. I'm a master sleeper. I always sleep at least nine hours, and I could knock out 12 If nobody woke me up. So for me, a wake-up light has been genius. We also installed Philips Hue [smart lights], so now we put the whole house on automation so in the morning everything is just gradually getting lighter. It's so much easier to get out of bed if it's already nicely lit. I definitely make a point of trying to go to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time."

Forget spring cleaning. Try solstice cleaning before you hunker down

"In the winter here, everything is in this beautiful kind of dim lighting. So I need to make sure I clean the entire house, because I probably won't see that kind of dirt later. I also like the feeling of preparing myself. It's a mental thing. We also change out our duvets from summer duvets, we start to shift out our shoes. Because it's going to get slippery outside, we bring out gear like crampons, and we put all of our headlights by the door, because now every time we go out anywhere, we're going to need a headlight. We buy a bunch of wood and fill up the racks with it, basically just doing all of that winterizing."

Make sure you're warm when you're inside

"It's good to keep your house at a temperature that makes you comfortable. During winter, we have the house at 22 degrees [celsius, or over 71 degrees F]. I wear long sleeves, a lot of turtlenecks, and there are a lot of socks everywhere, so you have them. All of the houses here are built on stilts, so there's always air flowing underneath. You would never be here without proper slippers because the floor is super, super cold. All the little things play into how you feel. If you're walking around and feel tired and cold, that's not nice."

Lean into 'you' time

"It is such a calm time of year, it's a great time to focus on yourself. You have this super intense period of the summer you're out socializing, you're doing so much. Now you have this time where you can really just relax, read a lot of books, do things that make you feel good, and recharge your energy.

"I make sure to do everything that I like, even more during this time of year, almost to fool myself. Maybe I will watch a Christmas movie in the morning. Really make sure to take control of your day and do all of those things that make you happy and try to have a good mindset going into it and see what changes."

Get outside - but dress for it

"My biggest advice during winter: go outside. You can do everything that you can in summer. All you need is a headlamp and good layers. Coming from Sweden, it took me two years to understand how I should actually dress to stay warm. In Norway, you grow up knowing that you should wear wool. in Sweden, where I come from, for some reason they didn't teach me that, so I was always a bit cold. But here, all you need is really good layers of wool. Layer it on, go outside, and it's going to be so nice. There's so much you can do! You can look at the stars. You can go for a nice hike. You just need to not be scared of going outside."

Eat well - but not all broccoli

"It is such a different time of year, you have to think about things differently. During summer, we're out all the time, you get this free vitamin D, this free boost of energy. In the winter, there's nothing helping you, so I'm so much more rigid like, I've got to eat my vegetables, I have to take my vitamin D pills. But it doesn't only have to be healthy food. Give your body all of this coziness. Make cinnamon buns, because it really is worth the whole vibe of making winter cozy. I will definitely allow myself to drink a lot more coffee during the polar night because I probably will need it. I won't limit myself. But I also definitely try to make a point of getting all of those vitamins in, because you will feel a difference."

Move around

"In the winter, I really do work out, because I notice it so much quicker if I don't. You will feel tired in a different way. I love going for walks with my dog. That is the perfect free exercise. Just make sure to enjoy it. I feel like a lot of people are like, 'Oh no, I have to walk my dog.' I love walking him. It's the best time for him, and I get a free 40-minute walk in the fresh air. I also go to the gym, and I bought [a stationary] bike. I'll just sit on it for 30 minutes some days. It's a good way to get moving. But if I had to choose between going outside versus working out here I would take fresh air. It's an accomplishment, going outside. I always say, when I start to get really tired of polar night, I go into the night because it opens up that dark world a lot more. From inside, it looks worse than it is when you're outside. It's always nicer when you just go outside."

If you're struggling, talk to someone

"I think therapy is so good. Sometimes you really need help sorting out your thoughts. Last winter, I had the only polar night where I felt like it was difficult on me. I'm a person who has a very sunny mindset, so it was interesting to see the effect that polar night had on me. I had just started my business, so I was really stressed, and that kind of broke me down. I wasn't following my schedule, I was overworked, and I straightaway saw the result of it. I had anxiety, I was having a really hard time trying to get up [in the mornings]. It was so important to me to see that if I don't take care of myself, I will start to deteriorate. I need to really make sure that my schedule is good, that I'm doing things that make me feel good, that I am doing my exercise sets. I did a few therapy sessions at the time, which I thought was really, really good. Because you need somebody to talk to, to kind of guide you through your thoughts. Just always make sure to talk to people if you feel like it's heavy, because you can definitely work through it."

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8 Tips for Embracing Winter From a TikToker Who Lives in the Polar Night

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People in the the United States and some other parts of the world marked the end of daylight saving time this past week with the ritual grumbling over early sunsets and worrying about the long winter ahead.

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Culture
One of the most common questions we come across in Denmark is visitors or new transplants asking, "what does mean?" But hygge isn't just a word; it's a concept, and as such, there's really no direct translation.

Hygge definition: What does hygge mean?

If we had to give you a few sentences to define it, we'd say:

How to pronounce hygge?

How to hygge?

There are so many ways to hygge, but there is one essential ingredient: candles! Check out our Illuminating Candle Guide if you want the specifics.

Other suggested ways to hyyge:

Play relaxing music

Cozy up with a cup of tea under a soft blanket

Read a good book

Relish in quiet company or tranquil solitude

Though hygge is often used to describe the way Danes survive winter (and it most definitely is the way we survive winter), being hyggeligt isn't limited to the cold months.

Winter Hygge

Perhaps the time when hygge is most needed, winter in Denmark is dark, cold and windy. So combat it with warming food, alcohol (or hot chocolate; you do you), candles, wool blankets, and lots of small gatherings with your friends.

This hygge can take place in a small restaurant or in the home. Extra points over Christmas, when hygge goes into overdrive.

Spring Hygge

Spring in Denmark can vacillate between absolutely lovely and absolutely abysmal. Likewise, hygge at this time of year can fill a fairly wide space.

When it's cold, go with winter hygge. When it's not so cold, spring hygge looks like garden parties with lots of flowers, light colors, and taking shelter from the rain in a cafe.

Summer Hygge

Ah, the hygge of summer. So simple, so free. Barbecues in the backyard or park, bonfires on the park, ice cream along the beach, strawberries. Now doesn't that sound nice?

Autumn Hygge

Autumn hygge looks a lot like winter hygge except that you're not quite as cold. Expect old fashioned apple cake, cinnamon, heavy jumpers and your number of dinner party/coffee date invitations to increase, because Danes will be sliding into the warm glow of peak hygge season...

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A breakdown of the meaning of the untranslatable Danish word hygge and why it means so much to the culture. Hygge is about cosiness and surrounding yourself with the things that make life good, like friendship, laughter and security, as well as more concrete things like warmth, light, seasonal food and drink.

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How To Manage Family Stress During The Holidays | TODAY

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How to Cope with Grief During the Holiday Season

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The holidays can be a season of warmth, joy, giving, and memories. However, for people living with mental health challenges, The holiday season has the potential to be a time of significant challenge, stress, and anxiety.

Oftentimes, those living with Mental health challenges experience worsening symptoms during the holiday season brought on by me additional stress.

In fact, nearly 64% of people living with a mental health concern report struggling more with symptoms during the holiday season.

When you couple these conditions with the added restrictions of living in a post-pandemic world, this holiday season has the potential to be one of the most stressful times of the year.

No matter your situation, you don't have to simply surrender to the stress of the holidays and the pandemic.

There are coping strategies and tools we can all use to reclaim the joy of the season.

One of the most effective ways to understand the importance of mental health is to think of your mental health as a cup filled with water.

Pushing through the holidays without making time for self-care is like taking a pencil and poking a hole in the cup.

With one or two holes your cup leaks, but it is able to hold water. However, as you put more holes in the cup, water starts leaking everywhere.

Add a few more holes and your cup will simply be a collection of pieces sitting on the table. It certainly won't be able to hold water, and it may not even seem like it was a cup once upon a time.

Do you really want to spend the holidays feeling like a broken and shattered shell of your former self?

How To Make The Most Of Your Mental Health

Don't Bottle It Up

The holidays are an emotionally charged time of year.

Financial stress, more time around family, and the hustle and bustle of the season are just a few of the potential stressors that can make the holiday season a mental health challenge.

Our brain is able to better process our emotions when we let them out.

Having a support system, someone you can talk to, or even light exercise is a great way to let your emotions out.

Meditation And Affirmations

Meditation is a wonderful way to relieve stress, enjoy the moment, and stay focused. Not to mention, meditation can be done quickly and easily no matter where you are.

One of the easiest ways to meditate is to head over to YouTube and search for a meditation to get started.

For example, if you're feeling stressed simply search for "meditation stress relief". You'll find dozens of videos that will walk you through meditations designed to reduce stress.

Remember Moderation

Sweet treats and adult beverages are plentiful during the holidays.

However, the trick to maintaining a healthy mindset during the holidays is moderation.

Willpower is like a muscle, it tends to wear down the more we use it. So, enjoying a Christmas cookie every now and again may help you say no to a plate full of sweet treats later on.

Making healthy choices during the holidays not only keeps us from packing on the pounds, it helps keep our mental health and check as well.

Making healthy food choices can help keep motivation and energy at optimal levels.

Get Sleep And Exercise

It can be tempting to stay up late or skip going to the gym to squeeze in a little extra holiday shopping. However, sleep and exercise are 2 of the best ways to combat the natural stress of the holiday season.

Getting the proper amount of sleep helps to reduce stress, increase energy as well as your overall physical and mental health.

During the holidays, it's common to feel too tired to exercise. But, when it comes to stress and your mental health, regular exercise can be your best friend.

The endorphins released during exercise help to reduce stress, anxiety and improve physical and mental health.

Plan Ahead

Planning ahead can minimize the stress of the season. It is a good idea to use a calendar to schedule all of your holiday events.

If you have to go shopping or run errands schedule them at a time when the stores will be less crowded.

If sadness strikes during certain times of the season plan gatherings with friends on the same day to boost your mood.

The stress of the holidays is typically manageable and usually passes when the season is over. However, for some, the stress becomes more than they can handle on their own.

Here are some signs that the stress is too much, and you may need to get help from a professional:

Difficulty sleeping

Appetite changes with weight loss or gain

Trouble getting out of bed due to mood

Difficulty concentrating

Loss of interest in things you usually enjoy

Unable to perform usual daily tasks

Thoughts of self-harm or death

Let's recap what you can do to promote good mental health this holiday season.

Take Time for Self-Care - Caring for yourself puts you in a position to make it through the holidays with better mental health. Proper self-care means you will also be able to better support your family and loved ones.

Meditation and Affirmations-Meditating and using affirmations are simple, quick, and effective ways to help reduce stress during any time of year.

Find the most effective self-care strategies for your needs.

Enjoy in Moderation - Strike a balance between going to every holiday party, eating too many cookies, or buying expensive gifts for everyone on your shopping list.

Sleep and Exercise-Don't skip the gym or stay up too late. Getting plenty of sleep in regular exercise helps with many areas of our physical and mental health.

Plan Your Activities-Structuring your days to avoid crowds, stress, and spend time with friends is a great way to minimize holiday stress.

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How To Manage Stress And Your Mental Health During The Holidays - Comprehensive Behavioral Health Center

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The holidays can be a season of warmth, joy, giving, and memories. However, for people living with mental health challenges, The holiday season has the potential to be a time of significant challenge, stress, and anxiety. Oftentimes, those living with Mental health challenges experience worsening symptoms during the holiday season brought on by me additional stress.

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Get advice for helping a special needs child through this chaotic time of year.

As parents, you want to make the holidays as jolly as possible for your kids. Keeping children with special needs merry, though, can be challenging. The hubbub of family celebrations and parties can overwhelm those with sensory issues; others might find the break in routine unsettling (and meltdown-inducing). It's also not very joyous for a kid with delays to open up a present that doesn't fit his developmental stage.

Happily, there are plenty of strategies that can help kids with special needs have just as much fun as any kid. Parenting bloggers share the tactics that have enabled their kids to have truly happy holidays - and peace, too!

1. Help kids prepare

"My autistic son thrives on routine and feeling informed, which makes the chaos of the holidays hard for him," says Shannon Des Roches Rosa, mom to Leo, 12, and blogger at Squidalicious. "A visual schedule helps him understand why and how his routine will change, allows him to focus on the fun to come and lowers his anxiety over being in a different place with different people."

She uses apps like ChoiceWorks to create visual schedules and makes paper ones, too. "We include pictures of the people we'll be seeing," explains Rosa. "We'll also use icons of Christmas trees, presents and turkey dinner. Then Leo can relax and get into the holiday spirit!"

Read our article on the Best mobile apps for kids with special needs.

"The truth is, it can be difficult to pick the right gift for any kid. Add in special needs and things get even more difficult," says Katy Monnot, mom to Charlie, a 5-year-old with cerebral palsy.

"I email each set of grandparents a list of suggested gifts. I'll include a tried-and-true one - something Charlie's seen before and loves or something similar, plus a book because kids needs books, and a gift that addresses one of the goals he's working on."

When one of Charlie's therapists set a goal for him to use both hands during play (since he tends to favor one hand), Monnot requested a box of instruments with a tambourine and cymbals to encourage the use two hands. "This works out great for everyone," she notes. "The grandparents know that at least one of their gifts will make his eyes light up, and I know that at least one of their gifts will encourage him to try new things. It's a win-win."

Read our article on Tips for buying toys for special needs children.

3. Hire a (sitter) elf to help

"A couple of years ago, when our family was invited to a Hannukah party, the first thing we did was book a babysitter to take along with us," says Jana Banin, mom to 6-year-old Zack, who has autism. "We knew the noise and crowded space would be too much for Zack - and we wanted to make sure he had a good time and we did, too."

Banin, who blogs at I Hate Your Kids (And Other Things Autism Parents Won't Say Out Loud), knew her ploy would help: "The sitter could play with him, make sure he didn't grab a cookie from someone else's plate and make sure he didn't wander out onto the street. The evening was a success! Zack and [the babysitter] checked out all the different food, snacked, curled up on the couch as he played his iPad. Since then, we bring our sitter with us to parties."

Look into hiring a special needs sitter for your child this holiday season.

4. Teach other kids about your kids

To help other children understand her daughters Evangeline and Polly, who are both 6 and have Down syndrome, Gillian Marchenko sends out an educational e-mail about kids with special needs to families they plan on visiting during the holidays. It includes pointers such as:

Your friend might need more time to answer questions or finish an activity.

Some kids with special needs can be focused on one topic; even though it can get annoying, it makes him feel special when you listen and appreciate the things he loves.

Kids with special needs are often made fun of or bullied. Be brave and defend your friend.

As Marchenko says, "Friends and family are grateful for the advice."

Need tips for talking to a child about special needs? Check out our article on Teaching your child about peers with special needs.

5. Let go of your expectations

"My son Gavin has cerebral palsy and when he turned 2, I wrapped every present and couldn't wait for him to open them on Christmas morning," says Kate Gallagher Leong of Chasing Rainbows. "It was one of the worst mornings of his little life. He has issues with fine-motor skills and forcing him to use his hands to rip open the paper was more like therapy than Christmas. That's when I realized I shouldn't project my Norman Rockwell Christmas onto my child. The following year, every toy was out of its box and ready to play with, making a bright and inviting display under the tree. The look on Gavin's face as he moved from one toy to the other made it the best morning of all our lives!"
Ellen Seidman is a magazine editor and the writer behind Love That Max, a blog about kids with special needs who kick butt.

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5 ways to make the holidays happier for children with special needs

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As parents, you want to make the holidays as jolly as possible for your kids. Keeping children with special needs merry, though, can be challenging. The hubbub of family celebrations and parties can overwhelm those with sensory issues; others might find the break in routine unsettling (and meltdown-inducing).

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Articles | Constellation Health Services

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By admin

Plus, Fun & Safe Holiday Activities

This time of year is usually filled with joy-parties, parades, music, and family gatherings. However, 2020 will look different as we all try to create cheer and memories for our children amid a pandemic. The challenge is heightened for parents of children with autism spectrum disorders, ADHD, and other developmental delays.

Though, silver linings come in all shapes and sizes. A typical year might be challenging for some children with special needs. Events that feature loud noises, big crowds, and bright lights can be overwhelming, so this year might be an opportunity to enjoy the holidays in a new, "quieter" way.

We're here to help you make the most of the holiday season and give your kids memories that aren't influenced by the challenges of a pandemic.

Below are a few tips and activity ideas to make the season a little brighter for parents and children with special needs. Depending on what state you live in, there are various COVID-19 restrictions. This article provides some "general" ideas for activities. Please check with your local businesses and networks to know what is open.

Tip: Give Yourself a Break

Before you think about activities, take a breath, and give yourself a break. Your child might not "get" the holidays or appreciate all you do, but focusing on the positive will benefit you and your family. Remember, you have the power to change your perspective or how you react to a situation.

Visit a Local Nursery

Instead of making the trek to a possibly crowded mall or retail store, visit a local nursery where lights and greenery create a cozy wonderland.

Holiday Light "Night Walks" or Neighborhood Drives

Call a walk to look at holiday lights a "night walk," and your kids might see it as a memorable adventure. Pack up the hot cocoa and pass out some flashlights. Neighborhood walks are casual; you can walk away when you need to, and they don't have to involve crowds. The same applies to a drive around the neighborhood. Talk to friends and use community resources to find neighborhoods and sights that might be of interest.

Visit Holiday Displays During Off-Hours

Take a stroll to view holiday displays and window decorations during off-hours and make the moment more intimate. No crowds, just a wide-eyed child. Think about visiting the displays first thing in the morning when no one else is up.

Tip: Make Adjustments

This year isn't like most. If you're the type of family that goes big every holiday season, that's probably off the table in 2020. Instead of a day spent shopping and taking pictures with Santa or going to dinner, then the Nutcracker, think smaller scale and avoid the crowds.

Holiday Scavenger Hunt

Delight with a game that takes everyone outdoors on an adventure. A holiday scavenger hunt can bring some variety to your holiday. Customize your own game or print out cards at Play Party Plan, and get tips on how to execute a fun holiday hunt.

Create Special Wrapping Paper

For the children who enjoy sensory play, find a big roll of paper, washable pens and paints, and let your child explore. Then, use the paper to wrap gifts for the family. Your child will feel special because they provided their personal touch to the gifts.

Loosely Wrap Gifts

Some children struggle with dexterity. Make their gift-opening experience 100-percent enjoyable by loosely wrapping gifts and limiting use of tape and ribbons.

Tip: Take Two Cars

Taking two cars on an excursion will benefit the entire family. If you need an escape plan for your child with special needs, you have it. Having another vehicle allows the rest of the family to stay and enjoy their time if they want.

Give a Special Tree, Menorah, or Kinara

Scenario: Your child wants to decorate group ornaments by type. That control could interfere with siblings' share in the fun. If so, give the child his/her own tree and let their vision soar.

Scenario: Your child likes to blow out the menorah or kinara candles, interfering with candle lightings. Go electric or give the child his/her own fireless candles.

When it comes down to it, the holidays are a great time to spend with people you love. Your family circle may look smaller this year, but it's no less meaningful. Enjoy the simple stuff.
More Resources: Resources for Parents of Children with Special Needs During COVID-19 3 Advantages of ABA Therapy for Children
Happy holidays from the Constellation ABA and SBT teams!
Constellation School Based Therapy & ABA has partnered with private and public schools, school districts, and early childhood development programs for over 20 years to provide evidence-based behavior, occupational, physical therapy solutions, and management consulting services in Connecticut. We also offer in-home applied behavior analysis (ABA) in Connecticut as an evidence-based approach for autism treatment. Through our customized programming, we work with children to improve development and focus on expanding cognitive, language, and adaptive skills. .
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Ways To Enjoy The Holidays With Children With Special Needs

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Back to articles By admin Plus, Fun & Safe Holiday Activities This time of year is usually filled with joy-parties, parades, music, and family gatherings. However, 2020 will look different as we all try to create cheer and memories for our children amid a pandemic.

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Holidays can be fun, but they also can add stress to the lives of children with special needs. There are steps you can take to make sure you and your children get the most out of this holiday season with these 9 tips:

Tip #1 - Make a plan for the holidays and share it with your family. Create a schedule for your family's holiday activities and post it for your child to see. You may need to use pictures to help a young child. Talk about the schedule with your child, so he or she can anticipate what will happen. Review the schedule weekly. Also discuss the schedule with others in your home, so they understand what is going on and how they can best support your child with special needs, so everyone can have a fun holiday.

Tip #2 - For holiday gatherings, give your child a job and a schedule. Ask your child to help collect coats, give out treats, or greet arrivals. Rehearse the plan. Give your child a schedule for a festive occasion so he or she knows what to anticipate.

Tip #3 - Maintain routines as much as possible. There may be special activities for the holidays, but try to keep your child's schedule as close to "normal" as possible.

Tip #4 - Eat healthy foods and know how new or special foods impact your child. During the holidays there are all sorts of fun foods and treats to enjoy. Some children are more affected than others by dietary changes. Pay attention to your child's moods and how diet and situational changes may be impacting him or her. Bring along with you food that is familiar to your child if you think it may be needed.

Tip #5 - If your child is sensitive to unfamiliar smells, help manage them. You can add a little cinnamon to play compound to help a child experience this smell minimally. Ask guests visiting your home to not wear heavy perfumes if your child is sensitive to them.

Tip #6 - Get your child into the spirit of the season through gift giving. Gift giving provides an opportunity to practice social skills. Help your child make a gift for someone else, and practice how to give the gift to that person.

Tip #7 - Take breaks when needed. Sometimes children need a break from the hubbub of holiday activities and busyness. Fill a bag or backpack with a few favorite toys, games or activities. If you see your child is getting stressed, get out the bag and find a quiet spot to get them out.

Tip #8 - Do not allow presents to be a hindrance to enjoyment. Some children with special needs find it dis-orienting to unwrap things that are new and unfamiliar to them. If that is the case for your child, wrap a few favorite toys for your child to unwrap. Children who have trouble with fine motor skills may find unwrapping some gifts frustrating. You can adjust packages to their comfort level by loosening ribbons and paper. And ask others who give your child gifts to be aware of his or her needs.

Tip #9 - Give your child the gift of your attention. Holidays can be busy for grown-ups and children. Make sure you spend a few minutes of quality time with your child. Give him or her your full attention. Practice active listening, where you listen to what your child is saying and then repeat it back to them to demonstrate that you were listening.
About the Episcopal Center for Children The Episcopal Center for Children is a private nonprofit, nondenominational day treatment facility for emotionally troubled children and their families from the greater Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. Accredited by the Joint Commission, the Center offers a day treatment program for children who are 5-12 years old, and focuses on enabling children to return to the public school and the community, while being able to re-engage with their families and build a positive future for themselves. More information is available at www.eccofdc.org.

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9 Holiday Tips for Children with Special Needs

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Holidays can be fun, but they also can add stress to the lives of children with special needs. There are steps you can take to make sure you and your children get the most out of this holiday season with these 9 tips: Tip #1 - Make a plan for the holidays and share it with your family.

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Top 200 Christmas Songs of All Time 🎄10 Hours of Classic Christmas Music with Fireplace

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Christmas Special | A Cosmic Kids Yoga Adventure!

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Kids Yoga For The Holidays 🎄 Yoga Club (Week 20) | Cosmic Kids

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Easy Seated Yoga Chair Holiday Workout | 25 Minutes | Beginners & Seniors Friendly Home Workout

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Stress Relief Yoga - Relaxing Holiday Stress Management Flow :D

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Having a Calm and Peaceful Holiday Season

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Having a Calm and Peaceful Holiday Season

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A Short Meditation for Coping with Stressful Conversations and Dynamics to Enjoy the Holidays

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Managing Grief During the Holidays (podcast)

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Managing Grief During the Holidays (podcast)

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Managing Grief During the Holidays With Gina Moffa

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Listen to this episode from Live Happy Now on Spotify. With the holiday season now officially in full swing, there are a lot of emotions swirling around. And one that often isn't discussed during this time of year is grief.

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9 Tips for Dealing With Grief & Loss During the Holidays (article)

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9 Tips for Dealing With Grief & Loss During the Holidays (article)

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Grieving the loss of a loved one is a deep and difficult challenge at any time. The holiday season can magnify our sense of loss and sorrow - especially this holiday season, marked by a still-raging pandemic that has taken hundreds of thousands of lives and left millions bereaved.

Seasonal events can be painful reminders of the absence of loved ones. At the same time, they can also be comforting rituals where we connect with family and friends, focusing on good memories and trying to recapture our sense of joy. If you are mourning the loss of loved ones this season, here are some important things to keep in mind.

1. Only do what feels right

It's up to you which activities, traditions or events you can handle. You are not obligated to participate in anything that doesn't feel doable. Create realistic expectations for yourself and others, but above all, be gentle with yourself.

On the other hand, if holiday activities are a good distraction that bring joyful feelings and good memories, go all out. Get out every decoration and bask in happy memories. Immerse yourself in holiday movies that always have happy endings.

It's all OK - there is no one right way to do this. All you need to do is get through the day or week or season, in a healthy way that is comfortable for you. Try not to focus much further ahead than that.

2. Accept your feelings

Everyone takes his or her own path in grief and mourning. Some may try to avoid sad feelings; others will be bathed in tears. Some feel bad that they aren't up to enjoying a holiday; others feel guilty because they are feeling joy.

Accept whatever you are feeling, as well as the inevitable ups and downs. You may feel peaceful one moment and gut-wrenchingly sad the next. If you stay in tune with your own needs, you'll know how to get through the holiday without judging yourself or others.

3. Get support

Talk with loved ones about your emotions and mental health needs. Be honest about how you'd like to do things this year - if you want to talk about those who have passed, then do so, and let others know it's OK. If you participate in a holiday activity, let people know you may bow out quickly if it's too much for you, and, if possible, have a friend on standby for support.

Be aware if you are sinking into depression, anxiety or complicated grief (a psychological condition that involves prolonged, very intense grief that interferes with daily functioning). Seek professional help from a physician, therapist or counselor via telehealth.

You can also look into virtual support groups or other services available through your workplace or house of worship, or connect with friends or others who are grieving via online communities such as AARP's Grief & Loss community and Family Caregivers Discussion Group.

4. Focus on the kids

Many holiday activities place special attention on children, and it often helps to zero in on their needs. Realize that your choices around getting through the holidays may affect the children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews in your family. If you withdraw, they may not understand why you don't want to join family festivities. Perhaps you can allow yourself to absorb their joy by participating in activities that are important to them and excuse yourself when you reach your limit.

5. Plan ahead

Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual holiday. Plan comforting activities ahead of time so you have something to look forward to, rather than building up dread of the pain that the holiday could bring.

New activities without specific memories tied to lost loved ones might be easier. But remember that familiar traditions might be comforting as well, even if you have to adapt them for this year's circumstances.

6. Give

In times of grief and loss, when we may feel paralyzed by sheer emotion or negative feelings (sadness, anger, resentment), the biggest comfort may come from giving to others. Taking action that makes a difference can help widen our perspectives.

For example, you can honor a loved one you've lost by making a donation in her name to a charity or cause she cherished. Or you can buy something that symbolizes the person, or what you shared with him, to donate to a needy family.

Also try channeling negative energies in positive ways that create good in the world. Give of your time and talents. Volunteer to help people in a way that relates to what caused your anguish. If, say, you've lost someone to suicide, volunteer for a depression or suicide hotline. If a loved one succumbed to COVID-19 or another disease, give money to a local hospital or participate in a clinical trial.

7. Acknowledge and honor those who have passed

It can be helpful to participate in a holiday ritual in memory of someone you've lost, especially if it relates directly to his or her interests. Here are some ideas.

Light candles.

Talk, write about or post on social media about the person.

Donate children's toys or books through a charity such as Toys for Tots.

Dedicate a prayer or religious service to the loved one's memory, such as a Catholic Mass or Jewish Kaddish.

Plant a tree in memory of the deceased, in your own yard or in a forest (through a group like the Arbor Day Foundation).

Make a card or write a holiday letter with the person's picture.

Place the deceased's photo or a significant item of his on your Christmas tree or among holiday decorations.

8. Do something different

The holidays are already very different this year; losing loved ones with whom you've long celebrated can make it feel like these annual celebrations will never be the same again. In a way, they won't, and accepting this will help you manage expectations. But remember that different doesn't have to mean bad.

If you can, embrace the difference. Plan novel activities (especially helpful the first holiday season after the loss) that create new memories. Hold a virtual family gathering, change the holiday menu, or have a meal delivered from a grocery store or restaurant. Many families return to their usual rituals the following year, but some enjoy incorporating these fresh experiences into holiday routines permanently.

9. Skip it

If you feel that it will be too much for you and you'd like to simply opt out of participation in a holiday, let family and friends know. But plan comforting alternative activities for yourself, and let someone know what you will be doing. It's a good idea to make sure someone checks in with you regularly, especially on the real holiday.

The bottom line: Grieving is a very individual and personal journey. No one can tell you how to grieve or how long it will take. I've lived through the loss of Mom and Dad, my niece Shaelee and my sister Karen, all around the holidays. I've survived by taking my time, doing what feels right to me, seeking support, living in the moment and honoring my loved ones.

Life may never be the same, but you will get through this, and joy will surprise you when it bubbles again - I promise.

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9 Tips for Dealing With Grief and Loss During the Holidays

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Grieving the loss of a loved one is a deep and difficult challenge at any time. The holiday season can magnify our sense of loss and sorrow - especially this holiday season, marked by a still-raging pandemic that has taken hundreds of thousands of lives and left millions bereaved.

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Decrease Stress During the Holidays (YouTube video)

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Decrease Stress During the Holidays (YouTube video)

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5 Ways to Decrease Stress During the Holidays

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Managing The Stress Of Your Children During The Holidays

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Listen to this episode from Real Talk For Real Teachers By Conscious Discipline on Spotify. What was your experience as a child during holidays? Do you find them stressful now? How do we help students prepare for extended holiday breaks? The holidays can bring stress and disruption to daily routines.

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Do your shoulders instantly tense up with the thought of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season? Does your heart skip a beat when you think about spending the entire day with your extended family during the most wonderful time of the year? Does the thought of a revolving balance on your credit card from overspending keep you up at night?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're not alone. Money and family responsibilities are some of the top sources of stress in America.

Before the stress of the holidays sneaks up on you, read on to learn how to enjoy your most stress-free holiday season yet.

Holiday stress can affect anyone, even children. There are a lot of expectations around the holidays. Many people associate the holidays with social gatherings, rituals, and happy memories. These expectations can lead to stress.

It can quickly become overwhelming to make every meal award-worthy and every wrapped gift look perfect. Finding the time to attend every party, or feeling like you haven't been invited to enough parties can cause stress. When you add the financial burden, travel, and visiting family members, stress can start to pile up. There's also a desire to cram in every tradition and event to make sure each day is memorable.

Finally, the holidays can also be a difficult time of the year for people who have lost friends and family members. The memory of their loss can add to other sources of stress and hurt even more.

There are many simple ways to deal with holiday stress, but first you need to understand your stress triggers. Do certain situations cause you to feel stressed? When you feel stressed, pause and think about what's causing it. The activity you're doing at the time may not be the cause of your stress. Once you understand what triggers your stress, use these six simple tips to de-stress.

1. Plan Ahead

Finding time for all of your holiday activities can be tricky. On top of your holiday commitments, you may also have to deal with increased traffic, especially around malls. Or you may feel extra pressure to get ahead of work so that you can take time off to travel.

Creating an action plan can help to relieve stress. Write down all of the things you need to do so that you can prioritize the things that are most important. You will also be less likely to forget something if you have a list.

2. Put Yourself First

With such a huge focus during the holidays on giving, it can be easy to forget to give back to yourself. Taking care of yourself will improve your mood and make it easier for you to take care of others.

Set aside some time to do things you enjoy. Find time to exercise, plan a dinner out, or just get a few minutes of fresh air. And don't forget the importance of a regular good night's sleep.
Read more: Exercise as stress relief "
3. Keep Your Finances in Check

If you're worried about your spending and how it will affect you after the holidays are over, be realistic about what you can afford to spend. The sentiment behind a gift is more important than the cost.

Create a budget and stick to it. Spend only what you can afford, and if you don't have the ability to spend anything, bake a treat or offer your talents and time to your friends and loved ones.

4. Honor Loved Ones You Have Lost

It may be difficult to celebrate the holiday season if you've lost someone dear to you or distance makes it difficult to spend time together.

Spend this holiday season reflecting on special memories and how you will honor the person you lost by doing something meaningful in their honor. If you're unable to spend time with loved ones, volunteer your time to a local organization where your smiling face could change someone's day. Their smile could most certainly warm your heart.

5. Indulge in Moderation

Indulge in foods that you may only have once a year, but don't forget the importance of healthy eating as well. A glass of eggnog or five sugar cookies for breakfast isn't going to completely derail your eating plan. But it's not a realistic way to eat every day during the holidays. Not only will it leave you feeling ill, but also the pounds will quickly sneak up on you. Everything in moderation is key this time of year.

6. Don't Be Afraid to Say No

It's okay to say "no," and the more you say it, the easier it will get. Say "yes" to the events and things that you know will bring you joy. Say "no" to obligations that you know will cause you heartache and disappointment. If working a few extra hours of overtime will make you happy so you can treat your mom to her first new television in twenty years, do it. But if your neighbor that you're not too fond of invites you to a holiday party, feel free to decline. You'll be happy that you did.

If you've tried the tips above and your mood hasn't improved, speak to your doctor. Just sharing your feelings with your doctor may help you feel better. If not, your doctor can discuss prescription medications or other treatment plans that might be able to help.

When it comes to stress, it's important to listen to what your body and mind are telling you. If a situation is too stressful, ask yourself why it's stressful and what you can do to better manage your stress. Not only will this help you to deal with holiday stress, but it can also help you better manage stress throughout the year.

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Holiday Stress: Causes, Management, and More

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Do your shoulders instantly tense up with the thought of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season? Does your heart skip a beat when you think about spending the entire day with your extended family during the most wonderful time of the year?