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"To fall in love first rather than years later, (Lahiri, 298)" Here Ashima remark on her son and daughter getting married and how they assimilated t the american way of falling in love rather than the Bengali way she went through were she got married and fell in love afterward.

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"Without people in the world to call him Gogol, no matter how long he himself lives, Gogol Ganguli will, once and for all, vanish from the lips of loved ones, and so, cease to exist" (Lahiri 308) Rather you like your name or not your name contributes to your identity. Like your name being changed can cause a reinvention of your self and when your orginal name disappears your previous self is gone causing your identity to lack personally. Like when Gogol changed his name he felt more confident and like a new person with the intentions of abandoning your past self.

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"Only she is not Mrs. Ganguli. Moshumi has kept her last name...Moshumi Mazoomdar, the name printed at the top of footnoted articles on French feminist theory in a number of prestigious economic journals that always manage to give Gogol a paper cut whenever he tries to read them." (Lahiri 242-243)
Moshumi keeps her last name because it is attached to her identity and accomplishments. By keeping her name rather than changing it to her husband's, she is retaining her own individual identity after marriage. Often, women are minimized to be an accessory to their husbands after marriage, especially in the past when this takes place. Moshumi values the individuality her identity, and wants to keep her invidual life even after she is married.

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"From the beginning he feels useless. Moushumi makes all of the decisions, does all the talking.He is mute in the brasseries where they eat their lunches, mute in the shops where he gazes at the beautiful belts, ties, paper, pens; mute on the rainy afternoon they spend together at the d'Orsay"(Lahiri 246) Moushumi and Gogol spend time in France where he feels very alienated and out of place. He feels as though he is suffocating because Moushumi fits right in the French atmosphere while he can't even order something by himself.

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"They are an intelligent, attractive, well-dressed crowd. Also a bit incestuous. The vast majority of them knowing each other from Brown...There is the usual academic talk around the table, versions of the same conversation he can't participate in..."(Lahiri 252). Around Moshumi's friends, Gogol feels as if he doesn't fit in, considering most of them have known each other for years. Even though Moshumi's friends try to be friendly, he can't seem to warm up to them because he knows he's seen as an outsider who is just Moshumi's husband. He feels "alienated" and almost irritated when he begins to find out more about Moshumi and her life before him, making him realize they don't know each other as well as he though.

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"They are not willing to accept, to adjust, to settle for something less than their ideal of happiness. That pressure has given way, in the case of the subsequent generation, to American common sense." (Lahiri 294) Even though Gogol's marriage to Moushumi turned sour, Ashima is grateful that her son took action and divorced her. In Ashima's culture, it would have been his duty to stay married, but Gogol has assimilated into the American way of not settling for an unhappy marriage.

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"Which is when Gogol announces, 'There's no such thing.' 'No such thing as what?' Astrid says. 'There's no such thing as a perfect name. I think that human beings should be allowed to name themselves when they turn 18,' he adds. 'Until then, pronouns'" (Lahiri 261). Gogol has completely abandoned any beliefs of his parents and those around him. He has completely embraced his own thoughts showing how he has aged, developed, and come up with his own set of ideals.

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¨ It´s not the type of wedding either of them wants. They would have preferred the sorts of venues their american friends choose... But their parents insist on inviting close to three hundred people ans serving Indian food and making parking easier.¨ This speaks volume to identity in my opinion. Gogol and Moushumi both want a more American wedding while their parents want a more Bengali one. This shows how being in America affects their identity and makes them push for more american norms over their Bengali norms .

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"His mother and Sonia and Sonia's new boyfriend, Ben, had come, along with Moushumi's parents and brother, and they had all celebrated the holiday together in New York, crowded together in Gogol and Moushumi's apartment. It was the first time he had not gone either to his parents' or to his in-laws'for a holiday. It felt strange to be hosting, to assume the center of responsibility."(Lahiri 289)
This is the start of a tradition where Gogol would host Thanksgiving/holidays with Moushimi for his family. He feels odd hosting but it is the start of the tradition (until Moushumi messes it up).

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"He looks over at Moushumi's side of the bed, an untidy pile of books and magazines at the end of the table..." (Lahiri 286) He feels alone in his own home without Moushumi there to be with him. He became dependent on her in their relationship, and their dynamic defines his life by this point in the book, so when she isn't there for him he feels alienated.

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"Part of him knows this a privilege, to be here with a person who knows the city so well, but the other part of him wants simply to be a tourist, fumbling with a phrase book, looking at all the buildings on his list, getting lost" (Lahiri 247)
While on his first vacation to Paris with his new wife, Moushumi, Gogol begins to grow increasingly uninterested and bored when they visit her favorite bistros, shops and especially when they visit her French friends. Gogol recognizes that he should feel absolutely delighted to be touring through a new city with someone who knows the city best and more importantly, his wife, but he can't help but feel the urge to venture through the city on his own and visit attractions that he wants to visit.

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"Without people in the world to call him Gogol, no matter how long he himself lives, Gogol Ganguli will, once and for all, vanish from the lips of loved ones, and so, cease to exist" (Lahiri 308). Your name is a huge part of who you are. Therefore if you change your name, you're not only changing what people call you but also changing yourself to this new person.

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"They would have preferred a sit-down dinner, jazz played during the reception, black-and-white photographs, keeping things small. But their parents insist on inviting close to three hundred people, and serving Indian food, and providing easy parking for guests. Gogol and Moushumi agree that it's better to give in to these expectations than to put up a fight." Nikhil and Moushumi have drifted away from their Indian culture. Even though they didn't, they wanted to break the important Indian traditions for a wedding and have a typical American wedding.

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"Until now, he has continued to call Moushumi's father Shubir Mesho, and her mother Rina Mashi, as he always has if as if they were still his uncle and aunt, as if Moushumi were still a sort of cousin. But by the end of the night he will become their son-in-law and so be expected to address them as his second set of parents, an alternative Baba and Ma." (Lahiri, 238) The connections of family are very important. So important, for Bengali culture, that there is a change in names. This is often true for other families, the closer your connection grows the less formal and more personal names become. This is a significant symbol of the deeper roots in which families sustain (blood or not).

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"They would have preferred a sit-down dinner, jazz played during the reception, black and white photographs, keeping things small" (Lahiri 234).

Though they ended up agreeing with their parents and choosing an Indian style wedding, the original idea that they were set on were much more traditional to America.

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"He turns to the first story"(Lahriri 309)

This may be a small quote but to me it meant a lot. I think it kind of shows the fact that he's come to one with his name instead of like, not liking it and somewhat hiding it by opening up this book it shows how important his name is to him.

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"Relax, the perfect name will come to you in time." (Lahiri 261) This quote said by Edith, is the starter of the conversation that enables Gogel to speak up about his name. This dumb comment said by Edith infuriated Gogel because he has struggled with the ideology of finding his "perfect name" his whole life. Gogel then has a coming of age moment by explaining to his friends that there is no perfect name for anyone, thus, having a breakthrough and overcoming his self consciousness regarding his name.

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"And yet it was for him, for Sonia, that his parents had gone to the trouble of learning these customs. It was for their sake that it had come to all this (Lahiri 305)." Gogol finally recognizes his parents efforts to assimilate into American culture for their children. He realized they celebrate holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving along with their traditional holidays so that he and Sonia can feel comfortable and included in America.

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Tradition is a difficult topic for Gogol. He didn't participate in as many Indian traditions as his mother and father did. He lets his parents plan his wedding and include more of their culture. "Their parents insist on inviting close to three hundred people and serving Indian food." Gogol lets his family plan their wedding because he wanted to stick to tradition for the first major time in his life.