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The Anxious Perfectionist: How to Manage Perfectionism-Driven Anxiety Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

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The Anxious Perfectionist: How to Manage Perfectionism-Driven Anxiety Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy [Ong PhD, Clarissa W., Twohig PhD, Michael P., Frost PhD, Randy O.] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Anxious Perfectionist: How to Manage Perfectionism-Driven Anxiety Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

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Perfectionism is destroying your productivity.

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How to Overcome Perfectionism: 15 Worksheets & Resources

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Techniques and therapeutic approaches to combat perfectionism .

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In this episode, learn the difference between healthy striving and paralysing perfectionism. Perfectionism - far from being a positive quality - can be a hindrance to your efforts in every domain of life. Tiff is an active perfectionist...

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nobody's perfect - how to overcome perfectionism

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‎Crappy to Happy: Nobody's perfect - how to overcome perfectionism on Apple Podcasts

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In this episode, learn the difference between healthy striving and paralysing perfectionism. Perfectionism - far from being a positive quality - can be a hindrance to your efforts in every domain of life. Tiff is an active perfectionist...

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Perfectionism and creativity often go hand-in-hand (ahem, hello imposter syndrome). Chances are if you're a creative person, you also struggle with perfectionism on a regular basis. It just seems to come with the territory. But guess what? There's an app for that! Because, of course there is. These four apps are great to have in your rotation so you can tackle whatever challenges your creative process throws at you; from creative blocks to brainstorming new ideas.

Download these four apps to help get a handle on perfectionism and foster creativity:

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't use Evernote. It really is the best app I've found that helps me organize my thoughts, keep track of new ideas, backlog creative projects and more. Plus, it syncs across all your devices so you're never without it at your fingertips. You can also invite collaborators to your notebooks and notes so you can keep your creative brainstorming organized and in one place.

Brainsparker is a free app that provides daily exercises to stretch your creative muscles. The app contains 200 cards featuring thought-provoking words and phrases; you simply shake your device to shuffle the pack and produce a new card. The rest, of course, is up to you. Sometimes you need a bit of randomness to generate the right creative ideas, and Brainsparker is great for getting your creative juices flowing without letting perfectionism get in the way.

If you have a cluttered desktop, Magnet is your new BFF. If you have a Mac, this handy app helps to declutter your screen by snapping windows into organized tiles. You can drag windows over the preset areas to automatically resize the windows, or use the customizable keyboard shortcuts. Once you start using Magnet to handle your windows management, you'll find yourself wondering how you lived without it.

No matter your creative goals -to boost self-confidence, shake off anxiety, refocus or simply be present-Simple Habit has an extensive library of meditations, all cataloged and easy to find. You'll love how each meditation is very specifically titled, making mindfulness something you can turn to for any occasion. Because sometimes the best way to handle perfectionism is to just nip it in the damn bud.
Main and featured image via our interview with Alex Noiret and Scotty Vance.

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4 Apps For Managing Perfectionism + Fostering Creativity - Glitter Guide

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Perfectionism and creativity often go hand-in-hand (ahem, hello imposter syndrome). Chances are if you're a creative person, you also struggle with perfectionism on a regular basis. It just seems to come with the territory. But guess what? There's an app for that! Because, of course there is.

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Perfectionism is the drive to appear, feel, and be perfect. Although society generally views perfectionism as a positive attribute, it also can have negative effects.

A perfectionist has "excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations." They insist on perfection and accept nothing shy of flawlessness. This can manifest as criticism of self and others and in attempts to control situations and people.

Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Perfectionism

Signs You Are a Perfectionist

If you're wondering whether you are a perfectionist, there's a good chance you are-at least to a degree. There's also a good chance you have some investment in being a perfectionist because of the positive connotations of the word "perfect."

Perfectionists are a lot like high achievers, but with some key differences. Here we share the differences, revealing ten telltale signs of a perfectionist - signs that you may be able to spot in yourself or people you know.

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionists, like high achievers, set and work hard to achieve lofty goals. While a high achiever can be satisfied with doing a great job and achieving excellence (or something close) even if their goals aren't completely met, a perfectionist will accept nothing less than perfection. "Almost perfect" is seen as a failure.

Being Highly Critical

Someone with a perfectionist personality is more critical of themselves and others than a high achiever. High achievers take pride in their accomplishments and tend to be supportive of others, yet perfectionists often spot mistakes and imperfections.

Feeling Pushed By Fear

High achievers are often pulled toward their goals by a desire to achieve them. They are also happy with any steps made in the right direction. Perfectionists, on the other hand, tend to be pushed by a fear of anything less than a perfectly met goal.

Having Unrealistic Standards

Another sign of being a perfectionist is setting goals that may not be reasonable. High achievers can set their goals high, enjoying the fun of going a little further once these goals are reached. Perfectionists often set their initial goals out of reach.

Focusing Only on Results

High achievers can enjoy the process of chasing a goal as much or more than the actual reaching of the goal itself. Conversely, perfectionists see the goal and nothing else. They're so concerned with hitting the goal and avoiding failure that they can't enjoy the process of growing and striving.

Feeling Depressed by Unmet Goals

Perfectionists are often less happy than high achievers. While high achievers are able to bounce back fairly easily from disappointment, perfectionists tend to beat themselves up and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations go unmet. They struggle to move on when things don't work out the way they had hoped.

Fear of Failure

Perfectionists have a greater fear of failure than high achievers. Because they place so much stock in results and become disappointed by anything less than perfection, failure becomes a scary prospect. And since anything less than perfection is seen as a failure, it makes it difficult to get started on anything new.

Procrastination

It seems paradoxical that perfectionists would be prone to procrastination since this personality trait can be detrimental to productivity. But research has found that a perfectionist person who isn't able to adjust to their situation or environment-called maladaptive perfectionism-is often more prone to procrastinate.

The reason for this is because, fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they become immobilized and fail to do anything at all. This procrastination can then lead to greater feelings of failure, further perpetuating a vicious and paralyzing cycle.

Defensiveness

Because a less-than-perfect performance is so painful and scary to perfectionists, they will often respond defensively to constructive criticism. High achievers, on the other hand, can see criticism as valuable information that will help improve their future performance.

Low Self-Esteem

High achievers tend to have equally high levels of self-esteem. This isn't the case with perfectionists. Although striving for perfectionism is associated with higher self-esteem, when someone with a perfectionist personality evaluates themselves critically, this contributes to low self-esteem instead.

Perfectionists can also be lonely or isolated due to their critical nature and rigidity pushing others away. This can lead to even lower self-esteem, ultimately having a serious impact on the person's self-image and overall life satisfaction while also impacting their relationships.

Causes of Perfectionism

Many factors can affect a person's chances of having a perfectionist personality. Perfectionism can be caused by:

A fear of judgment or disapproval from others

Early childhood experiences, such as having parents with unrealistically high expectations

Having a mental health condition associated with perfectionist tendencies, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

Pitfalls of Being a Perfectionist

Being a perfectionist is challenging because it's difficult to be perfect, or even of reaching a personal best. Another problem with perfectionism-and the reason you'll want to know if you possess perfectionistic traits-is that perfectionists actually tend to achieve less and stress more than high achievers.

Unhealthy perfectionism is characterized by an excessive focus on control. Perfectionists can become extremely picky and preoccupied with making sure everything is flawless, which can lead to attempts to control situations or people. This can take a toll on interpersonal relationships.

It can also contribute to higher levels of stress. The stress caused by perfectionism can then lead to feelings of anxiety and has been linked to a variety of negative outcomes, including low self-esteem, eating disorders, sleep disturbances, and psychological distress.

Recap

How to Overcome Being a Perfectionist

If you are a perfectionist and want to reduce some of its negative impacts on your life, there are a few things you can do. Strategies that can help you overcome perfectionism include:

Creating an environment where you feel accepted

Engaging in positive self-talk

Not comparing yourself to others

Practicing mindfulness to help you learn how to focus on the present without worrying as much about the past or future

Using techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), such as challenging negative thoughts

A Word From Verywell

Healthy perfectionism can drive people to perform their best, but unhealthy perfectionism can lead to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other issues that can affect quality of life. Perfectionists are often critical, driven by fear, have unrealistic expectations, fear failure, and are defensive when they face any criticism.

If you see some of these perfectionist traits in yourself, don't despair. Recognizing that a change may be needed is a very important first step. Once you recognize how these tendencies might be affecting you negatively, you can begin working toward taking a healthier approach that will still allow you to achieve your goals with less stress and negativity.

Frequently Asked Questions

How might perfectionism lead to anxiety?

Perfectionists often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and worry that they will fail to live up to their own expectations. This constant worry can contribute to feelings of anxiety, particularly when perfectionism tends to focus on being self-critical.

How can I help a perfectionist child?

There are a number of strategies that can help a child who exhibits unhealthy perfectionism. Parents and other adults should have reasonable expectations and focus on praising their child's efforts rather than outcomes.

It is also important to model healthy, positive self-talk that shows how you can be kind and compassionate to yourself, even when you make mistakes.

Is perfectionism a mental illness?

Perfectionism is a personality trait versus being a mental health disorder. That said, people with certain mental illnesses may have perfectionist tendencies. One example of this is individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Is being a perfectionist a good thing?

Perfectionism isn't all bad as people with this tendency often have a different way of assessing situations, which is tied to greater well-being. However, if your perfectionist tendencies are negatively impacting your life, this personality trait may not be a good thing for you.

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10 Telltale Signs You May Be a Perfectionist

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Perfectionism is the drive to appear, feel, and be perfect. Although society generally views perfectionism as a positive attribute, it also can have negative effects. A perfectionist has "excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations." They insist on perfection and accept nothing shy of flawlessness.

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For perfectionists of all types, whether children or adults, this practical guide explains myths about perfectionism and provides a new paradigm with practical steps to turn the negative into positive, build resilience, and develop optimism.

For Parents, Teachers, and Even Young Readers

Whether you're a parent, a teacher, or even a tween or teen, this readable book will guide you through the maze and struggle of perfectionism, helping you implement the strategies that will work for you.

Research-based, Everyday Life Approved

Perfectionism translates the research on goal setting, perseverance, mindset, and habits into tips and hacks for taming the perfectionist in all of us.

Perfectionism is the winner of the 2018 TAGT Legacy Award for the best book for parents of the gifted.

Lisa Van Gemert is an educator, widely-known speaker, and the former Youth and Education Ambassador for Mensa. An expert in the care and feeding of gifted children, she shares her expertise on her website, giftedguru.com.

"Finally, a book on perfectionism that delivers on its promise of managing the "never good enough" lives ... highly-readable and engaging ... marries theory and practice with exquisite clarity ... sound advice."
- James R. Delisle, Ph.D., Distinguished Professor of Education (Retired), Kent State University. Co-author of When Gifted Kids Don't Have All the Answers and 19 other books.
"Packed with practical ideas parents and teachers can readily implement to help those struggling with perfectionism, this book is the PERFECT resource to help adults teach and model happy imperfection."
- Ed Amend, Psy.D., Clinical psychologist and former Board member, Supporting Emotional Needs of Gifted
"Who better to write a book about perfectionism than a recovering perfectionist? Invaluable new insights on perfectionism ... a must-read for parents and teachers struggling to understand the young perfectionists in their lives."
- Lisa Conrad, Owner, Gifted Parenting Support, and Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT on Twitter.
"Lisa Van Gemert is your guide out of Perfectionland! She gives inspiration and a roadmap for a life filled with joy, while still pursuing your personal best. The stories and strategies in these pages can literally transform lives."
- Dan Peters, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and co-founder of Summit Center, and author of Make Your Worrier a Warrior: A Guide to Conquering Your Child's Fears and related books.
"I wish I had known these strategies in raising my own highly capable children. Full of commonsense advice for parents and teachers, and a good helping of humor, the logical strategies will be easy to try at home and at school."
- Jane Hesslein, M.A., Humanities teacher, Seattle Country Day School and former Board member, Supporting Emotional Needs of Gifted

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Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing "Never Good Enough"

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Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing "Never Good Enough" - Kindle edition by Van Gemert, Lisa. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing "Never Good Enough".

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Ease Perfectionism: Managing Our Own High Expectations

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You can teach him to sit, roll over, and play...

He can candle a birthday cake, lit a campfire, or so many other cool things...

But what if your dragon is always afraid of making mistakes?

What if he's too extreme and want everything to be PERFECT?

What if he's paranoid about every mistake he makes, no matter how big or small? What should you do?

You teach him how to accept mistakes and learn from them!

You teach him that mistakes are just part of life, and it's OK to make mistakes!

Get this book and learn how!

Fun, cute, and entertaining with beautiful illustrations, this is a must have book for children, parents and teachers to teach kids how to embrace mistakes, accept failures and learn to grow.

GET THIS BOOK NOW AND ENJOY!

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Help Your Dragon Learn From Mistakes: Teach Your Dragon It's OK to Make Mistakes. A Cute Children Story To Teach Kids About Perfectionism and How To Accept Failures. (My Dragon Books)

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Help Your Dragon Learn From Mistakes: Teach Your Dragon It's OK to Make Mistakes. A Cute Children Story To Teach Kids About Perfectionism and How To Accept Failures. (My Dragon Books) [Herman, Steve] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Help Your Dragon Learn From Mistakes: Teach Your Dragon It's OK to Make Mistakes.

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Perfection is the Wrong Direction | Isabella Fons | TEDxYouth@OTHS

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Your Guide to Processing Feeling Overwhlemed

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‎Popping Perfectionism on Apple Podcasts

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Perfectionism is the belief that whatever you do must have no error or mistake. You might even feel unworthy, less likable, or like a failure when you make a mistake. A perfectionist is constantly striving toward perfection with the belief that imperfection is unacceptable. This way of thinking can be detrimental to your health.

Causes of Perfectionism

Some factors known to cause perfectionism include:

Fear of failure

Feeling the need to please parents

Wanting to be admired or loved by others

Mental health problems like anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder

Feeling insecure or inadequate

Attachment problems with parents during early childhood

Being a previous high achiever

Treatment of Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be difficult to deal with, but it is treatable. Therapy can be used to overcome perfectionism by managing the root cause of perfectionist behavior. A mental health professional will use the multidimensional perfectionism scale to find out what is causing your perfectionism before going into therapy.‌

The types of therapy employed to overcome perfectionism include:

1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy. This type of therapy shows the perfectionist that perfection is not necessary in everything they do. It teaches them that errors are acceptable and should not stop them from pursuing what they want.

2. Hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy helps manage the "all or nothing" mentality found in most perfectionists.

3. Family systems therapy. Here, therapy is used to find out how perfectionism came up in the family unit and how it affected the subject as an individual.

Tips to Overcome Perfectionism

You can try to overcome perfectionism without relying on therapy. Some things you can do on your own to help manage your perfectionism include:

Note down the advantages and disadvantages of being a perfectionist. Whenever you find yourself falling back into perfectionism, take another look at the disadvantages and move on.

Set achievable goals for yourself. Setting attainable goals will keep you from pursuing unattainable perfection. This way, you can achieve your goals with the resources you have.

Set time limits for tasks and make sure to follow them. To avoid spending excess time trying to perform a task perfectly, create a realistic time limit and stick to it.

Avoid procrastination. Concentrate on the task instead of the end product. If you can break down your job into smaller, manageable bits to complete one step at a time, you may avoid overworking.

Remember that mistakes are not bad. Celebrate them.

Pursue different things that matter to you and make you happy. Avoid focusing on perfecting only one thing.

Signs of Perfectionism

A lot of people are perfectionists in specific areas of their lives. If you find yourself wanting to achieve perfection in most things you do, you might be a full-time perfectionist. Some clear signs that you might be a perfectionist include:

You cannot start a task until you are sure you can execute it flawlessly (procrastination).

You take much longer than others to complete the same task.

You see the end product as the most crucial part of a task.

You think a task is not done unless you think it is perfect.

Types of Perfectionism

There are three types of perfectionism. While the types have similarities, there are some key differences. The three types are:

1. Personal standards perfectionism. This type of perfectionism is primarily healthy because you are motivated to achieve your high personal goals. Thus, you have lower chances of burnout or stress. You are less likely to inflict self-harm due to stress from attempts at perfection. Other people might think your standards are too high, but that only gives you motivation.

2. Self-critical perfectionism. This type of perfectionism might cause you to feel intimidated or like you will never achieve your goals. The hopelessness this causes may lead to issues like anxiety disorders, stress, self-condemnation, and avoidance.

3. Socially prescribed perfectionism. Here, perfection is demanded by an outside source. This can come from a job or career that requires maximum precision, like a doctor or a lawyer. People in these professions are more likely to have thoughts of hopelessness, stress, self-harm, or even suicide. Individuals with high social or cultural expectations placed on them may also be subject to socially prescribed perfectionism.

Health Implications of Perfectionism

Research has found perfectionism to be linked to some mental health issues. Some of these mental conditions include:

Other lifestyle issues that may arise include:

Low self-esteem

Frustration

Procrastination

Relationship issues

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Perfectionism is the belief that whatever you do must have no error or mistake. You might even feel unworthy, less likable, or like a failure when you make a mistake. A perfectionist is constantly striving toward perfection with the belief that imperfection is unacceptable. This way of thinking can be detrimental to your health.

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Break free from anxiety and stress using this free evidence-based anxiety management app. MindShift CBT uses scientifically proven strategies based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

MindShift CBT is a free self-help anxiety relief app that helps you reduce worry, stress, and panic by following evidence-based strategies. Using CBT tools, you can challenge negativity, learn more about anxiety, develop more effective ways of thinking, be mindful, and relax.

If you are looking for anxiety, stress, and panic relief, you have come to the right place. Download MindShift CBT for free on your iOS device, learn more about anxiety, practice cognitive behavioral therapy, and reduce the amount of worry, panic, social anxiety, and discomfort from phobias that you experience.

The go-to app for anxiety management

MindShift CBT, the free anxiety relief app, comes with a clean and user-friendly design that allows you to learn and practice CBT strategies in an easy and intuitive way. We have specifically designed the app to be your free and portable go-to tool for anxiety management.

Learn about the different CBT strategies, including writing thought journals, challenging yourself with belief experiments, building fear ladders, and doing comfort zone challenges. Listen to calming audio to reframe your thoughts, practice mindfulness, and stay grounded. All of the exercises are presented in small chunks with plenty of supporting information to help you naturally integrate these strategies with the rest of your life.

To assist you, MindShift CBT includes additional features that help keep you on track. Stay accountable and track your progress with the check-in feature, which allows you to record and view graphs and journal entries. You can also set goals for yourself and get reminders. If you choose to, you can also easily export and share your data via email to streamline sessions with any therapists, counsellors, or psychologists you may be working with.

Give MindShift CBT a try and find relief today!

MindShift CBT is packed with loads of evidence-based and trusted features to help you with anxiety management. With this app, we hope that you will be better equipped to manage anxiety, find relief from panic attacks, overcome your fears, and hopefully, ease your own mind.

The app is completely free, so there is no harm in giving it a try and exploring the features for yourself.

MindShift main features at a glance:
* Clean, welcoming, and user-friendly intuitive design
* Evidence-based strategies and tools based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) designed for anxiety relief and self-management
* Daily check-in to keep track of your anxiety level and mood
* Easy to follow guides on learning about anxiety
* Facts and tips to overcome general worry, social anxiety, perfectionism, panic attack, and phobias
* Goal setting tools to keep you accountable
* Coping cards and statements to help you ride out your anxiety (and the ability to add your own!)
* Guided relaxation and mindfulness meditations to ground you and give relief
* Belief experiments to challenge the beliefs that fuel anxiety
* Tips and tricks for incorporating healthy habits into your life and minimizing anxiety naturally
* Sharing and data exporting (if you choose) to streamline sessions with your counsellor, therapist, or psychologist
* Finally: it is free to use!

So, download MindShift CBT on your iPhone or iPad device now, and get ready to take charge of your mental health and find anxiety relief. Learn to be more mindful, incorporate CBT techniques in your daily life, and stay accountable and motivated on your anxiety management journey.

Stay tuned for more updates, and let us know about any bugs, questions, feature requests, or any other suggestions. We are always looking to improve the app and we appreciate all of your feedback!

Thank you for all your patience and support! We have improved our app's performance and made it bilingual (French and English).
Switch the language of your device to French if you want to use MindShift in French.

So helpful!

I love this app, I use it as a personal mood journal. Only down fall is I wish it was easier to see how you've been overall the week. I only get it after I answered how I'm feeling. Over all 4/5 stars!

Used to recommend to all of my clients...

Sadly, an account creation is now necessary. Yes it's "free" but releasing this much personal information doesn't feel right for an app which was initially designed to be easy, user-friendly and ready instantly. It's seems generating data has taken priority over providing an amazing service. I will be looking for other options.

👍

It helps me write down why I'm feeling anxious and how I can work on getting less worried. It also has meditation and relaxation programs in the app. There are a few questions regarding anxiety and mental health that they answer. Overall, 10/10

Information

Seller

Anxiety Canada Association

Compatibility

Requires iOS 10.0 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad and iPod touch.

Languages

English, French

Copyright

© Anxiety Canada

Family Sharing

Up to six family members will be able to use this app with Family Sharing enabled.

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‎Break free from anxiety and stress using this free evidence-based anxiety management app. MindShift CBT uses scientifically proven strategies based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). MindShift CBT is a free self-help anxiety relief app that helps you reduce worry, stress, and panic by following...

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How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

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How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism [Guise, Stephen] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

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We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like "Never good enough!" and "What will people think?"

Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance we might think it's because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are "real"-we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.

There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn there are messages that tell us who, what, and how we're supposed to be. So we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.

Based on seven years of groundbreaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to one another and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.

Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection-the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy, and joy into our lives."

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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) [Brené Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W., Lauren Fortgang] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't)

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"I'd never been late for anything. I just knew this would be a bad day." When Penelope oversleeps, her daily routine gets thrown for a loop. From wearing mismatched socks to receiving her first-ever "B," will "Penelope Perfect" survive this imperfect day?

This encouraging story told in cheerful rhyme will speak to kids who deal with perfectionism or other forms of anxiety. The book concludes with tips and information to help parents, teachers, counselors, and other adults foster dialogue with children about overcoming perfectionism and coping when things don't go according to plan.

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Penelope Perfect: A Tale of Perfectionism Gone Wild

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Penelope Perfect: A Tale of Perfectionism Gone Wild [Anderson, Shannon, Kath, Katie] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Penelope Perfect: A Tale of Perfectionism Gone Wild

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The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life

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The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life [Ben-Shahar, Tal] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life

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Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control

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Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control [Somov, Pavel] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control

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Two fuzzy creatures are happily putting the finishing touches on their sandcastle when each of them thinks of something that would make it even better. As they work furiously to incorporate each new change, their tiny sandcastle becomes an over-the-top palace...but is it really perfect?

This latest book in the beloved series featuring the pals from Theodor Seuss Geisel Award winner You Are (Not) Small reminds us that perfection is in the eye―and heart―of the beholder.

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It Is Not Perfect (You Are Not Small) [Kang, Anna, Weyant, Christopher] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. It Is Not Perfect (You Are Not Small)

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"A highly appealing read. . . . Children will readily gravitate to this book." - School Library Journal Even Superheroes Have Bad Days

What do young superheroes do when they've blundered and bungled? They don't get mad; they get SMART! This fun follow-up to teaches kids another humorous lesson in overcoming adversity. "Ashamed Superheroes who goofed up somehow . . . First STOP . . . then CONSIDER what's best to do now." Whether they've nabbed the wrong guy by mistake or bashed into a planet while zooming through space, all superheroes 'fess up their mess-up, get on with their day, and keep on saving the world in the most super way!

Even superheroes sometimes slip up and err. And when that happens, do they say, "It's not FAIR?" or give up in despair? NO!

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Even Superheroes Make Mistakes (Superheroes Are Just Like Us)

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Amazon.com: Even Superheroes Make Mistakes (Superheroes Are Just Like Us): 9781454927037: Becker, Shelly, Kaban, Eda: Books

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Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life

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Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life [Doyle, Glennon] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life

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In a culture that values speed, efficiency, image, and busyness, some of us are aching for another way to live: more intentional, more connected. Simpler, slower, richer. Many of us have believed the myth that achievement and success bring us contentment, only to find it's actually things like connection and meaning, not success and achievement, that provide true peace and genuine happiness.

Present Over Perfect is bestselling author Shauna Niequist's motto for how to live a rich, engaged, and loving life in the midst of what often feels terribly messy and imperfect. Similar in format to Shauna's previous books, Present Over Perfect is a collection of essays that focuses on the journey from frantic and tired to connected and free. Many of us find ourselves busier than we want to be, missing the sweetest moments along the way. We end up resentful and distracted, full of regret and feeling disconnected. Present Over Perfect is a hand reaching out to a new way of living-full of grace, space, and connection.

As a wife, mother, friend, and writer, Shauna shares with vulnerability and transparency about the reality of living wholly present in our relationships with our families and the others we love and inspires readers to discover their own path to this more fulfilling way to do life.

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audiobook; audio; book; cd; christian; god; religion; personal; development

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religion / christian life / inspirational

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religion / christian life / spiritual growth

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religion / christian living / inspirational

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religion / christian living / spiritual growth

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religion/christian living - spiritual growth

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religion / christian life / inspirational

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religion / christian life / spiritual growth

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religion / christian living / inspirational

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religion / christian living / spiritual growth

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religion/christian living - spiritual growth

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Present Over Perfect [Shauna Niequist, Shauna Niequist] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Present Over Perfect

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When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism

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When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism - Kindle edition by Antony, Martin M., Swinson, Richard P.. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism.

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Overcoming Perfectionism: This information package is designed to help you understand what is helpful and unhelpful about being a perfectionist. The goal is not for you to give up your high standards altogether but to learn to pursue healthy high standards rather than unrelenting high standards that negatively impact your life. This package is organised into modules that are designed to be worked through in sequence. We recommend that you complete one module before going on to the next. Each module includes information, worksheets, and suggested exercises or activities.

In this module we will define perfectionism, identifying both the helpful and the unhelpful aspects of being a perfectionist, and identifying in what ways you might be a perfectionist.

In this module we will look at the underlying reasons for perfectionism.

In this module, we will explore what keeps perfectionism going and why it is so difficult to let go of high standards, even when pursuit of these standards has negative consequences for you.

In this module, we will be helping you weigh up the costs and benefits of staying the same and the costs and benefits of changing your perfectionism. We will also be telling you what will be involved if you decide to change your perfectionism.

In this module we will introduce some strategies for reducing perfectionism behaviours and we will encourage you to conduct some experiments to test out your beliefs and fears.

In this module we will be looking at challenging and changing the thoughts that keep your perfectionism going. We will be introducing strategies to identify and challenge your perfectionism thinking.

In this module we will focus on the unhelpful rules and assumptions that keep you caught in the vicious cycle of perfectionism.

In this module we will take a step back and look at the impact of perfectionism on your life. We will examine the tendency to over-evaluate the importance of achieving your unrelenting standards and offer you some strategies to create a more balanced life and a more balanced basis for judging your self-worth. We will then be looking at another way of thinking about perfectionism: as an overarching set of beliefs, or a mindset.

In this module we will put together all you have learned, so that you have a clear 'road map' of how to continue keeping your perfectionism in perspective.

Click the link above to download all modules in this workbook at once, as a zip file.

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Overcoming Perfectionism: This information package is designed to help you understand what is helpful and unhelpful about being a perfectionist. The goal is not for you to give up your high standards altogether but to learn to pursue healthy high standards rather than unrelenting high standards that negatively impact your life.

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12 Essential Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism 

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Sharon Martin, LCSW Counseling San Jose and Campbell, CA

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This post contains an affiliate link.

Do you have unrealistically high expectations?

Do you expect perfection from yourself and others?

Are you frequently disappointed that things don't go as planned?

Are you exceptionally hard on yourself?

Do you feel like no matter what you do, it's never good enough?
These are all signs of that perfectionism.
Perfectionists set impossibly high standards for themselves (and others), which leads to frustration, disappointment, and exhaustion. The bottom line is that perfectionism is hugely stressful and makes us feel worse about ourselves. We can strive for and achieve and hustle relentlessly, but it will never be enough because we can never meet our unrealistic expectations.

The alternative is to embrace our humanness - our imperfections and failings - and choose to be happier, healthier versions of ourselves.

Of course, once you've decided to lay aside your perfectionism, it isn't an easy undertaking. Your perfectionist thinking is probably well entrenched. So, I want to share 12 tips for overcoming perfectionism and being kinder to yourself.

Tips for overcoming perfectionism:

1) Instead of constantly feeling disappointed, set more realistic expectations.

As perfectionists, we set ridiculously high standards and unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others. And because these expectations are impossible to meet, we're constantly disappointed and frustrated. I know the idea of lowering your expectations can be hard to accept, but it does lead to greater happiness and more satisfying relationships. We ultimately have to realize that we're expecting the impossible from ourselves and we can't control and force others to meet our unreasonable expectations. So, if you're continually disappointed and upset with yourself or others, it's an opportunity to reassess and set realistic expectations - ones that you and others can reasonably meet.

2) Instead of criticizing yourself, practice self-compassion.

Perfectionists are notoriously intolerant of flaws and shortcomings, so we tend to be very hard on ourselves. But self-criticism is both undeserved and unhelpful. Everyone struggles and is imperfect. We all make mistakes and feel inadequate sometimes. Kindness motivates us to do better, whereas criticizing and shaming tends to be demotivating. Try to give yourself the same compassion that you would show to a friend or family member - a kind word, a treat, or an uplifting message when you're feeling down.

3) Instead of seeing mistakes as failures, adopt a growth mindset.

When we have an attitude of growth, we choose to see mistakes as a normal and helpful part of the learning process. The only way to improve at something is to try, fail, and try some more. Instead of trying to avoid mistakes and failures, reframe them as normal and an essential part of your growth.

4) Instead of defining yourself by your accomplishments, focus on your character.

Perfectionists tend to define themselves and their worth by their accomplishments. This leaves us always pushing ourselves to do more, be more, and prove ourselves. Accomplishments certainly have their place, but you're so much more than a Harvard graduate, best-selling author, volunteer of the year, or any other title or accomplishment. Your value as a person isn't dependent on being the best or earning it. You are worthy because of who you are, not what you've accomplished. Focusing on your good qualities, values, and strengths will help you reclaim your self-worth.

5) Instead of focusing on the outcome, enjoy the process.

Perfectionists measure success and self-worth by their achievements, but when we put so much emphasis on the outcome, we sometimes miss out on enjoying the process. Try doing things for the experience, for fun, or because you've always wanted to try them, not because you're good at them or to please others. Focusing on the process takes the pressure away from the results. It's not just about whether you win, or get a promotion, or are praised. Some things are worth doing, even if the outcome is imperfect.

6) Instead of trying to please everyone, be true to yourself.

When you focus on pleasing others, you disconnect from your authentic self. You start living your life to please others (for the "gold stars" and accolades) or to avoid conflict. This means everyone else's needs and wants come first and you minimize your needs, wants, and values. Maybe you became a doctor to make your parents happy or you invited your mother-in-law to live with you because that's what your husband wanted or you agreed to be chair of the committee because you didn't want to disappoint your mentor. People-pleasing is not only tiring and unrealistic, it isn't honest and true. So, you may be making others happy, but their approval can't quiet your self-doubt and anxiety because they still don't know the real you. When you express more of who you are and what you need, some people may be displeased; practice tolerating this because the alternative is to lose yourself and live as if everyone else is more important than you.

7) Instead of putting your needs last, be more assertive.

We all have physical and emotional needs, but they don't always fit into our image of being perfect. For example, many perfectionists don't like to ask for what they need, whether it's help or information or time off, because perfect people don't need anything. Denying your needs can have serious health consequences - physically and mentally. It also contributes to feelings of anger and resentment. Alternatively, you can practice using assertive communication such as "I statements" to ask for what you need and want. More information is available here:
How to Communicate Your Feelings
8) Instead of rigid, perfectionist thinking, challenge your negative thoughts.

As perfectionists, we often get stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, such as "I'm a success or a failure" or "I'm attractive or I'm ugly" when in reality there's lots of space in between these extremes. Other examples of perfectionist thinking (a form of cognitive distortions) are overgeneralizing, catastrophizing, and magical thinking. You can learn more on my blog:
13 Common Cognitive Distortions How to Challenge Cognitive Distortions
9) Instead of overworking, do some things imperfectly.

When we expect ourselves to do everything flawlessly, we're treating all of our tasks with the same importance. In reality, not everything needs to be done perfectly. Some things - like cleaning your kitchen or eating healthfully - don't have to be done perfectly in order for them to have value. Try leaving something undone or done imperfectly. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but it will get easier to tolerate and you'll discover that nothing terrible happens when things are imperfect. This will free up mental and physical energy for the things that matter most.

10) Instead of comparing yourself to others, know your worth.

We all know that comparing ourselves to others makes us feel worse, not better about ourselves. As a result of growing up in a competitive world, we internalize feelings of not being " as good as" or " not having enough ". We compare ourselves to others looking to see how we measure up. The problem is that comparison only works to validate our fears and self-doubts. And these comparisons are never fair because we don't have all the facts about anyone else's life; we only see the "airbrushed version" that they want us to see.

11) Instead of focusing on others, get to know yourself.

People-pleasing and perfectionism are like shields that hide and protect your true self. The more pleasing and perfecting you do, the more out of touch with yourself you become; you no longer know what you like, what you believe, what's important to you, or even who you are because so much of your time and effort is spent trying to be what others want you to be or an idealized version of yourself. "Finding yourself" can feel like a big endeavor (and it may be), but you don't have to do it all at once. Bit by bit, begin to explore and experiment, constantly checking back in with yourself to see how it feels. You might find these three resources helpful:
26 Questions to Know Yourself Better How Can Adults Find New Hobbies Know Yourself Better, Live Authentically, and Embrace What's Fun for You
12) Instead of being ashamed of your flaws, love your imperfect self.

When you recognize that trying to be perfect isn't going to make you feel worthy or lovable, you can relax and allow yourself to just be. You no longer have to prove your worthiness. Loving yourself unconditionally means you value and accept yourself just as you are right now, regardless of your imperfections and failures. You might find these ideas helpful:
22 Ways to Love Yourself More 9 Simple Ways to Love Yourself
Overcoming perfectionism means you choosing to accept yourself and enjoy your life despite its imperfections. You choose to let go of comparisons and the need to prove yourself. This is accomplished little by little - by being kinder to yourself, staying present-focused, and reminding yourself that perfection isn't your goal.

I hope these twelve tips for overcoming perfectionism will help you get started. For more support, pick up a copy of my book The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism: Evidence-Based Skills to Help You Let Go of Self-Criticism, Build Self-Esteem, and Find Balance. It contains dozens of practical exercises based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, mindfulness, and self-compassion.

This article was originally published on PsychCentral.com. ©2018 Sharon Martin, LCSW. All rights reserved.

Sharon Martin, a licensed counselor and psychotherapist in the San Jose area, specializes in helping adult children of alcoholics and others who struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, and self-criticism. She has a private psychotherapy practice in CA where she is available for online counseling. Sharon is also the author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism and write the blog Conquering Codependency for Psychology Today.

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12 Essential Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism - Sharon Martin, LCSW Counseling San Jose and Campbell, CA

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This post contains an affiliate link. Do you have unrealistically high expectations? Do you expect perfection from yourself and others? Are you frequently disappointed that things don't go as planned? Are you exceptionally hard on yourself? Do you feel like no matter what you do, it's never good enough?

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Have you ever been labeled a "perfectionist"? Or do you consider yourself to be one?

It's tempting to see perfectionism as a desirable or positive quality - it shows that we pay close attention to detail and get things right! In fact, obsessive perfectionism can do more harm than good. It can damage self-esteem, put a strain on our relationships, and, in extreme cases, it may even lead to serious health problems.

Research suggests that perfectionism is growing, with a rising number of people striving to perfect their lifestyles and themselves. In this article, we'll look at how to spot perfectionism, why it can be problematic, and how to overcome it.

Click here to view a transcript of this video.

What Is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a set of self-defeating thought patterns that push you to achieve unrealistic goals.

In his book, " The Pursuit of Perfect," Dr Tal Ben-Shahar explains that there are two types of perfectionism: adaptive and maladaptive.

Adaptive perfectionists want to develop their skills continually. Their standards are always rising, and they approach work with optimism, pleasure and a desire to improve. This is the healthier type of perfectionism - but, as we'll see later, it's not without its problems.

Maladaptive perfectionists, however, are never satisfied with what they achieve and, if something isn't perfect, they dismiss it. They may experience fear of failure, anxiety, unhappiness, and other painful emotions. In general, maladaptive perfectionists tend to exhibit the following actions and behaviors:

They have high, unrealistic goals.

They give up on tasks if they feel that they can't be the best or "win."

They view mistakes as failures and conceal them from others.

They spend an excessive amount of time planning or redoing work to make it "perfect."

They don't like taking risks unless a successful outcome is guaranteed.

They are overly concerned with what other people think about them and believe that, if their flaws are exposed, they will be rejected.

They don't handle criticism or feedback well.

They apply unrealistic standards to colleagues and are over-critical of their work.

If things don't go to plan, they can feel stressed and anxious.

They find it difficult to delegate tasks to others.

Note:

A 2018 Harvard Business Review article described adaptive perfectionism as "excellence seeking" and maladaptive perfectionism as "failure avoiding."

It also suggested that the latter has many more negative effects than excellence-seeking perfectionism, though research showed that neither forms improved performance. It concluded that perfectionism isn't a useful approach, period!

Is Perfectionism a Weakness or a Strength?

When the consequences of imperfection are small, however, it can be wasteful or counterproductive to seek or expect perfection. Learning to recognize when "good enough" really is good enough can save time and energy for when they're really needed.

Why Is Perfectionism a Problem?

When perfectionism gets out of control or becomes obsessive, it can harm you both professionally and personally. Let's look at some of the most common problem areas you might experience if you are a maladaptive perfectionist:

General Health

According to 2011 research from the Journal of Counseling and Development, perfectionism is linked to health issues such as eating disorders, depression, migraines, anxiety, burnout, and personality disorders. The quest for perfection can also result in decreased energy, increased stress, and relationship problems.

Self-Esteem

This can lead to a downward spiral of self-criticism, blame and self-sabotage. It can also trigger Impostor Syndrome, as you often find "evidence" that you're not up to the job. You also risk harming other people's self-esteem by trying to control colleagues' behavior and being over-critical of their performance.

Productivity

If you're a perfectionist, you may find that you avoid starting a new project until you've found the absolute best way to approach it. You might also get caught up in minor details or make others repeat tasks that have already been completed because they aren't exactly right.

Ultimately, however, this wastes time that could have been spent on other, more important tasks. It can also damage your relationships with others because of the knock-on effect that it has on team workflow. As writer and leadership expert Simon Sinek puts it, in almost every situation, "progress is more important than perfection."

Creativity

Warning:

Seek advice from suitably qualified health professionals if you have any concerns over your health, or if you're experiencing significant or persistent unhappiness.

Strategies for Dealing With Perfectionism

The following seven strategies can help you to mitigate the negative effects of perfectionism:

1. Challenge Your Behavior

If you think that you have a problem with perfectionism, start by challenging your behavior and beliefs. List some of the things that you do that must be "perfect." Perhaps you feel that you need to check your work multiple times before turning it in, or you like to create overly detailed plans before you start a new project.

Next to each behavior that you've listed, write down why you believe that this activity must be perfect. Perhaps you resist delegating tasks to a co-worker because you don't trust their ability. Or you stay late at the office to check their work when you could be relaxing at home or spending time on other projects.

Finally, think about how you might overcome these behaviors or beliefs. For example, could you delegate one task a day, then review it just once to make sure that it's been done correctly?

Tip:

Only challenge one perfectionist behavior at a time. Otherwise, you may feel overwhelmed. Evaluate the impact of every change that you make to assess the positive or negative effects that it has on your life and work.

2. Set Realistic Goals

Think about your most important life and career goals. Then, break them down into smaller monthly or yearly steps. Not only will this make it easier to reach your objectives, but you'll also experience the thrill of achieving these smaller goals.

3. Listen to Your Emotions

If you're feeling anxious or unhappy about a task, your instincts may be telling you that you're trying to achieve the impossible. Listen to them and adjust your targets accordingly!

Perfectionists are often prone to negative self-talk. If you catch yourself doing this, stop! Otherwise your thoughts may become self-fulfilling prophecies. Remember, positive thinking is often associated with positive action and outcomes. Try using affirmations or thought awareness to question your negative thoughts and inject some positivity!

4. Don't Fear Mistakes

Mistakes are part of life. They show that you're not afraid to push yourself and try new things.

In fact, novelist James Joyce called mistakes "the portals of discovery." That's because they can provide rich learning experiences that teach you far more than a flawless performance. So, next time you make one, accept it, learn from it, and move on!

5. Readjust Your Personal Rules

Perfectionists often live by a rigid set of rules. Your rules might be to check every email at least three times before you send it, or to never leave a crumb on the kitchen counter. But, while it's great to have high personal standards, they must be flexible and helpful, rather than unrelenting and unrealistic.

Identify one rule that you live by that's too rigid, and reword it to be more forgiving. For example, maybe you could reread only the most important emails before you send them.

6. Focus on the Bigger Picture

Perfectionism can cause "tunnel vision" - when you focus on one small part of something but ignore the rest. You might, for instance, obsess about getting a minor part of a presentation right, like the fonts or special effects, instead of concentrating on the substance and meaning that you are trying to convey.

Remember to keep your focus on the bigger picture. Your failings will seem much less significant and you'll reduce the urge to be perfect.

7. Relax - and Go With the Flow

The pursuit of perfection can make it extremely difficult to relax and be spontaneous. Instead, perfectionists prefer to maintain focus and to stick rigidly to their carefully laid plans.

But relaxation and spontaneity aren't just necessary for a healthy life. They can also improve your productivity and well-being. And you'll be better at keeping perfectionism under control if you're feeling rested, clear-headed and happy. So, take regular breaks at work. Get outside, be open to new experiences and new people, make use of relaxation techniques, and recognize when you need to switch off.

Most of all, don't allow perfectionism or fear of failure to stop you from experiencing new things. Be open to new ways of thinking, new people, and new experiences. You might just find that letting go actually boosts your well-being, your relationships, and your performance.

Key Points

There are two types of perfectionism: adaptive perfectionism (where you approach your work with optimism, pleasure and a desire to improve) and maladaptive perfectionism (when you are never satisfied with your work because it never reaches your unrealistically high standards).

Maladaptive perfectionism can be particularly harmful to your well-being. It can cause stress, depression and burnout. In fact, contrary to popular opinion, it can lower your productivity and reduce creativity.

There are several strategies that you can use to overcome harmful perfectionism, including:

1. Challenging your behavior and beliefs.

2. Setting realistic goals.

3. Listening to your emotions.

4. Not fearing mistakes.

5. Readjusting your personal rules.

6. Focusing on the bigger picture.

7. Relaxing and going with the flow.

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Have you ever been labeled a "perfectionist"? Or do you consider yourself to be one? It's tempting to see perfectionism as a desirable or positive quality - it shows that we pay close attention to detail and get things right! In fact, obsessive perfectionism can do more harm than good.

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Step 2: Tools to overcome perfectionism

Tool #1: Changing perfectionistic thinking
a) Realistic thinking

Because adults with perfectionism are often very critical of themselves, one of the most effective ways to overcome perfectionism is to replace self-critical or perfectionistic thoughts with more realistic and helpful statements.

It is a good idea to practise these helpful statements regularly. Even if you do not believe them right away, enough repetition will turn positive realistic thoughts into a habit, and help crowd out the negative self-talk.

Some examples of positive realistic statements

"Nobody is perfect!"

"All I can do is my best!"

"Making a mistake does not mean I'm stupid or a failure. It only means that I am like everyone else - human. Everyone makes mistakes!"

"It's okay not to be pleasant all the time. Everyone has a bad day sometime."

"It's okay if some people don't like me. No one is liked by everyone!"

b) Perspective taking

Adults with perfectionism also tend to have a hard time seeing things from another person's point of view. That is, they tend not to think about how others might see a situation. For example, you may believe that you are lazy because you are only able to exercise 1 hour instead of 2 hours every day. Learning to view situations as other people might see them can help you to change some of these unhelpful beliefs.

Going back to the "I'm lazy" example, you can challenge this thought by asking yourself the following questions:

How might someone else (e.g. a close friend) view this situation? Most people probably would not think they are lazy if they do not exercise 2 hours everyday. Kelly, my best friend, only has time to work out for 1 hour, 2 to 3 times a week, and feels pretty good about it.

Are there other ways to look at this? Maybe not being able to work out 2 hours every day is understandable given my busy schedule. Not being able to meet this standard does not mean I am lazy. Most people cannot do it.

What might I tell a close friend who was having similar thoughts? It is okay to only workout for 1 hour a day or less. Working out regularly, say 2 to 3 times a week, is good.

c) Looking at the big picture
Adults with perfectionism tend to get bogged down in details and spend a lot of time worrying about "the little things" (e.g. what font to use in an email). One helpful strategy to worry less about details is to ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does it really matter?

2. What is the worst that could happen?

3. If the worst does happen, can I survive it?

4. Will this still matter tomorrow? How about next week? Next year?

d) Compromising

This is a particularly helpful tool for dealing with black-and-white thinking. Compromising involves setting more realistic standards or being more flexible with your very high standards.

For example, if you believe that making a mistake during a presentation means that you are stupid, try asking yourself, "What level of imperfection am I willing to tolerate?" From there, you can try to come up with more reasonable standards that you are willing to accept. Because it is quite anxiety provoking when you first start trying to re-set/lower your standards, you can do so gradually, in steps. For example, the first step to more reasonable standards in this example might involve spending 3 hours instead of 5 preparing for a presentation, allowing yourself to make a mistake during 1 out of 5 presentations, or being okay with having fewer than 5 people praise your performance. Once you are comfortable with lowering your standards a bit, lower them some more. For example the next step might involve spending 1 hour preparing for the presentation, allowing yourself to make a mistake during 1 out 2 presentations, or being okay with not knowing what others think of your performance.

Tool #2: Changing perfectionistic behaviours

Having a problem with perfectionism is a lot like having a "phobia" of making mistakes or being imperfect - you are terrified of making mistakes. Facing fears in a gradual and consistent manner is the most effective way to overcome phobias, and is called "exposure". For example, the best way to overcome a dog phobia is to gradually spend time with dogs, to learn that they are not as scary and dangerous as you initially thought.

Similarly, overcoming your "phobia" of making mistakes or being imperfect involves doing just that-gradually and purposely making mistakes and coming across as imperfect. This technique also involves gradually putting yourself into situations that you usually avoid out of a fear that things won't work out perfectly.

Here are some examples to help you brainstorm items for exposure practice:

Show up for an appointment 15 minutes late

Leave a visible area in the house a little messy

Tell people when you are tired (or other feelings that you consider a weakness)

Wear a piece of clothing that has a visible stain on it

Purposely allow several uncomfortable silences to occur during lunch with a co-worker

Purposely be a few cents short for bus fare

Lose your train of thought during a presentation

Send a letter or e-mail that includes a few mistakes

Talk at a meeting without first rehearsing what you are going to say in your head

Try a new restaurant without first researching how good it is

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How to Overcome Perfectionism - Anxiety Canada

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Perfectionism, on the other hand, involves a tendency to set standards that are so high they either cannot be met or are only met with great difficulty. Perfectionists tend to believe that anything short of perfection is horrible, and that even minor imperfections will lead to catastrophe.

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Helping Your Child Overcome Perfectionism

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Children who have perfectionist tendencies exhibit a continuum of behaviors.

On one end of the spectrum are children who take pleasure from doing difficult tasks, setting high standards for themselves, and putting forth the necessary energy for high achievement.

On the other end of the continuum are those children who are unable to glean satisfaction from their efforts due to their preset, unrealistic goals. Since mistakes are unacceptable to them, perfectionism provides these students with little pleasure and much self-reproach.

Perfectionism appears to result from a combination of inborn tendencies and environmental factors. These can include excessive praise or demands from parents, teachers or trainers, observation of adults modeling perfectionist tendencies, and from parental love being conditional upon the child`s exemplary achievement.

Extreme perfectionism has been linked to performance and social anxiety, eating disorders, migraine headaches, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, and suicide. When behavior of this type affects normal development and social relationships, these children need assistance.

Some characteristics of children who are extreme perfectionists:

having exceptionally high expectations for themselves;

being self-critical, self-conscious and easily embarrassed;

having strong feelings of inadequacy and low self-confidence;

exhibiting persistent anxiety about making mistakes;

being highly sensitive to criticism;

procrastinating and avoiding stressful situations or difficult tasks;

being emotionally guarded and socially inhibited;

having a tendency to be critical of others;

exhibiting difficulty making decisions and prioritizing tasks;

experiencing headaches or other physical ailments when they perform below the expectations of themselves or others.

Gifted children, who are accustomed to excelling, are often perfectionists. Problems occur if they refuse to attempt a new assignment or do not complete their work because it may not be done flawlessly. The result is gifted children who are underachievers. These students are also susceptible to burn-out if they attempt to display exemplary performance in every academic discipline. (Gifted Children)

Parents may help children who exhibit extreme perfectionism in the following ways:

1. Provide unconditional caring and respect.

2. Provide a calm, uncluttered, and structured environment.

3. Avoid comparing children.

4. Give specific praise. (Effective Praise)

5. Avoid using words such as brilliant, genius, and perfect.

6. Use listening and other communication skills.

7. Acknowledge without judgment children's negative emotions such as frustration, anxiety, sadness and fear.

8. Ask children to keep a journal expressing their thoughts and feelings.

9. Help them understand that it is impossible to complete every task without making mistakes.

10. Encourage high standards, but explain that there is a difference between perfectionism and quality work.

11. Involve them in setting realistic standards for themselves.

12. Let them know that even if they fail at something, they are loved.

13. Challenge their belief if they call themselves a failure, and provide a more rational evaluation.

14. Help them prioritize tasks and to break assignments or projects down into manageable parts.

15. Teach them to revise, start again, and learn from their errors.

16. For those who procrastinate, change the goal from perfection to completion.

17. Provide support if they perform at a lower level than expected.

18. Help them learn coping skills such as positive "self-talk." (Encouraging Thoughts)

19. Encourage the use of self-control skills. (The Essential Skill of Self-Control)

20. Promote relaxation techniques such as listening to soothing music, counting slowly, taking deep breaths, participating in a hobby, walking, reading or something else that helps calm them.

21. Read biographies together of successful people who overcame failure, persevered and achieved greatness; for example, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, and Helen Keller.

22. Help them understand that saying disparaging things about themselves is detrimental to their well-being.

23. Create opportunities for success that will enhance their self-confidence.

24. Encourage constructive peer interaction through various activities.

25. Have them practice saying kind comments to others.

26. Meet with their teachers to promote a cooperative relationship.

27. Admit to making your own mistakes.

28. Model perseverance when faced with a difficult task.

29. Use constructive coping skills when dealing with disappointments.

30. Examine your competitiveness and, when necessary, decrease your emphasis on winning.

Children who suffer from extreme perfectionism need assistance from the adults in their lives. They may also need help from a professional therapist. The goal would be to reduce their perfectionist tendencies to the point of having them become an asset rather than a liability.

Note: To view all articles in parentheses, go to: http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherTips.html and click on the title of your choice.

By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

http://www.kellybear.com/

Used by permission of Leah Davies, M.Ed.

For more information about school and learning, check out the following books. Purchasing books from our website through Amazon.com supports the work we do to help parents do the best job they can to raise their children.
<recommended books about school and learning <all our recommended parenting books <additional articles about School and Learning Issues <Library of Articles topic page

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Children who have perfectionist tendencies exhibit a continuum of behaviors. On one end of the spectrum are children who take pleasure from doing difficult tasks, setting high standards for themselves, and putting forth the necessary energy for high achievement.

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Perfectionism makes even the smartest business owners get in their own way, which is why the Perfectionism Project is a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs.

Your host is Sam Laura Brown, perfectionism coach and founder of Perfectionists Getting Sh*t Done. With her conversational podcast episodes and relatable stories, Sam will motivate you to get out of your own way and help you feel less alone as you navigate the ups and downs of business.

Filled with practical advice, this podcast is for entrepreneurs of any kind who are ready to skyrocket their productivity levels and stop holding themselves back. Subscribe today to discover how to overcome perfectionism, escape the all-or-nothing mindset and stop procrastinating so you can become more productive and build a successful business.

For even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, follow Sam on Instagram @samlaurabrown or sign up for Perfectionists Getting Sh*t Done at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.

Perfectionism makes even the smartest business owners get in their own way, which is why the Perfectionism Project is a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs.

Your host is Sam Laura Brown, perfectionism coach and founder of Perfectionists Getting Sh*t Done. With her conversational podcast episodes and relatable stories, Sam will motivate you to get out of your own way and help you feel less alone as you navigate the ups and downs of business.

Filled with practical advice, this podcast is for entrepreneurs of any kind who are ready to skyrocket their productivity levels and stop holding themselves back. Subscribe today to discover how to overcome perfectionism, escape the all-or-nothing mindset and stop procrastinating so you can become more productive and build a successful business.

For even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, follow Sam on Instagram @samlaurabrown or sign up for Perfectionists Getting Sh*t Done at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.

Like my wisest best friend!

I'm not sure how it works, but Sam and I have a very similar internal world! When I started as a brand new real estate agent in 2018, Sam's podcast was what I was listening to on every drive to a showing, open house, or appointment. She has helped me through SO many aspects of developing my own business and I know I need to put on an episode when I start getting to hard on myself or too discouraged. Just a few minutes of Sam gets me back to feeling myself, and I'm forever grateful for the investment she's put into me without even knowing! Thanks so much, Sam, and I can't wait to continue growing my business together with you! Definitely easier to enjoy the journey :)

She gets me!

I just listened to episode 266 and it has blown my mind. I never considered myself a perfectionist growing up, but recently I've been realizing that all my issues stem from perfectionist thinking. When you talk about realizing that your procrastination issues stem from ideas of shame, it truly resonated with me. This really helped me better understand myself and I'm excited to hear more of your tips! Thank you!!!

Sam has been saving my mental health as a college student

And as a freshman in this crazy 2020! I feel so lucky finding out Sam's podcast, although I wished I found her sooner. She teaches new lessons/ideas/techniques that are very relatable, applicable and can perfectly explain why I feel the way I feel or do what I do as a HSP perfectionist. I am constantly learning new things from each podcast she makes and easily apply her techniques into my daily life. My breakdown moments appear less often since I started listening to her. I wish all college students knew about her podcasts, no matter if they're perfectionists or not. My vulnerable soul feels much balanced and calmer now. Thank you Sam, what you are doing is AMAZING! I will share her podcasts to my HSP groups on Facebook and other people. (In case you don't know, HSP stands for highly sensitive person/people). ❤️

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‎The Perfectionism Project on Apple Podcasts

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‎Perfectionism makes even the smartest business owners get in their own way, which is why the Perfectionism Project is a podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. Your host is Sam Laura Brown, perfectionism coach and founder of Perfectionists Getting Sh*t Done. With her conversational...

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‎About Progress is a podcast and motivated community that empowers women to take on radical growth via sustainable changes. Through remarkable interviews and teachings, our listeners tap into their inner go-getters to transform their identity, purpose, and productivity. "Progressors" are here for the...

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A podcast about overcoming perfectionism so you can do more of what you love. Your hosts are: Janine Adams, a Certified Professional Organizer, who is naturally good at good enough and Shannon Wilkinson, a Life Coach and recovering perfectionist who is learning to be better at good enough. Together they share tips, techniques and stories from their organizing and coaching practices, as well as their own lives, to help you find more peace, have less angst and take more action.

A podcast about overcoming perfectionism so you can do more of what you love. Your hosts are: Janine Adams, a Certified Professional Organizer, who is naturally good at good enough and Shannon Wilkinson, a Life Coach and recovering perfectionist who is learning to be better at good enough. Together they share tips, techniques and stories from their organizing and coaching practices, as well as their own lives, to help you find more peace, have less angst and take more action.

Good Enough to Get Unstuck

This has been such a delightful and helpful podcast that I tell all my friends of "my take aways" and encourage them to listen in so they can find their own take aways. Listening in has been a process of removing self-doubt and layers of misconceptions that have helped me to my "Ahh-ha" moments. I find myself saying: "If Duffy can do it, so can I"! Thank you for the thoughtful and honest discussions that help us get unstuck on what we know, but even better the process of discovering the things we never thought we were stuck in. Yay team! Thank you. Rob G

On Epi 3, will review again later

This seems to be a brand new audio effort for both hosts. I've listened to interviews of Janine (on other podcasts) and they were great.

I fast-forwarded through parts of Epi 2 because of hella loud lawn equipment. Seriously loud/distracting/unpleasant. Epi 3 better and I expect they will learn to turn off cell phones and avoid unrelated asides as time progresses. Will stick with it for a while...

Delightful and Inspiring

This delightful and inspiring podcast is much like a sit down with your wisest and friends. Thanks for the honesty!

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‎Getting to Good Enough on Apple Podcasts

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‎A podcast about overcoming perfectionism so you can do more of what you love. Your hosts are: Janine Adams, a Certified Professional Organizer, who is naturally good at good enough and Shannon Wilkinson, a Life Coach and recovering perfectionist who is learning to be better at good enough. Together...

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Raise those middle fingers up high because perfect is an effing myth! Gather 'round for badass guests, empowering conversations, and plenty of room to be our bold, imperfect selves brought to you by two proud recovering perfectionists, Jenna + Ashley of Eff Perfect.

Raise those middle fingers up high because perfect is an effing myth! Gather 'round for badass guests, empowering conversations, and plenty of room to be our bold, imperfect selves brought to you by two proud recovering perfectionists, Jenna + Ashley of Eff Perfect.

Full of fun, play, wisdom, and compassion

I have been listening to this podcast weekly for over a year. I never miss an episode and look forward to it every Monday! As a recovering perfectionist myself, this podcast truly speaks to me. I love how no matter what the topic, it offers powerful (and empowering!!) guidance on how to get curious about my thoughts and behaviors (even the ones I despise), grow and change in service of my highest aspirations, and cultivate compassion for myself and others. This podcast is my therapy and my joy because Jenna and Ashley are bright, sharp, playful souks. They have THE BEST sense of humor, infusing this podcast with huge amounts of laughter (and laughter is the best medicine). I am eternally grateful for the wisdom these two women share with the world every week.

Realistic Empowerment ✨

These 2 women! I feel like we are sitting around drinking wine - or coffee or lemonade 'cause we don't judge - and they are sharing the best sista-friend support to help me live just a little better each day. Screw you perfectionism!!!! Ash & Jenna are here to help us all shine our lights brighter!!! Middle fingers up!! 🖕🌟🌈🌻❤️

Compassionate & competent

The hosts of this podcast are very refreshing to listen to! They don't claim to know everything and you can tell they walk the walk just as much as they talk! It's a great forum for anyone who wants to work on growth and self improvement with guests and topics that teach the listener something new OR reframe an old concept into a more relatable construct.

Keep doing what you're doing Ashley and Jenna! I love working on my perfectionism alongside you two!

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‎Middle Finger to Perfection on Apple Podcasts

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‎Raise those middle fingers up high because perfect is an effing myth! Gather 'round for badass guests, empowering conversations, and plenty of room to be our bold, imperfect selves brought to you by two proud recovering perfectionists, Jenna + Ashley of Eff Perfect.

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Anxiety in Children - 10 Practical Strategies to Help Kids Manage Perfectionism 

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by Karen Young

An anxious mind is also a beautifully creative, imaginative mind. This is a great thing, except for when that imagination and creativity is being used to imagine outcomes that feel unbearable, however unlikely they may be. These thoughts of what 'could' happen, drive self-talk, which in turn directs behaviour towards doing whatever is necessary to avoid a bad outcome. Hello perfectionism.

When perfectionism takes hold, it's not so much with a gentle, 'I'll be over here in case you need me', kind of way, but more in a, 'oooohhh let me stay with you and protect you and never let you go', kind of way. Perfectionism can be relentless, and although it can be helpful, it can also be suffocating - and so exhausting!

Just to be sure ... What does perfectionism look like?

As with everything our children do, something is only a problem if it's causing a problem. The behaviours that drive perfectionism might be different depending on the child, but here are some of the common ones;

Refusing to try anything new or unfamiliar (to avoid failing or making a mistake).

Difficulty completing work, or being slow to finish (because of constant checking or repeating to make sure there are no mistakes).

Procrastination - because it's easier sometimes not to start than to face the possibility of failure.

More likely to ask for help rather than try it themselves first. Asking for help is a strength, and we don't want to discourage that, but if the request for help is driven by a fear of getting it wrong, it can be stifling and get in the way of being brave and taking life-giving risks.

Giving up or becoming distressed, angry, irritable or upset if they make a mistake, or if they believe that whatever they are working on might be less than perfect.

Tendency to think in all or nothing terms - if it isn't perfect, it's bad/wrong/stupid.

Tendency to be self-critical.

There's something about perfection that doesn't feel that perfect. Actually, it can feel kind of ... awful.

There will always be parts of us that shimmer and parts that feel creased and imperfect. We need all of them. Failing and falling are a part of being human so the avoidance of them is an impossible task. It's also a potentially damaging one. The chase for perfection quite often comes with self-criticism, fear of negative evaluation, and a propensity to feel shame when things don't work out as planned. In short, perfectionism tramples over whole-hearted living, it suffocates healthy risk-taking, it halts progress so wrinkles can be smoothed out (and out and out), it limits discovery and it stunts growth.

Not only is the chase for perfection a hopeless, tiresome one, it's also vastly unnecessary. If only our kids could know how beautifully 'everything' they are because of their imperfections, not despite them.

But everything has a flipside.

Perfectionism can hold children back, but beneath perfectionistic tendencies will be the makings of great grit, determination, and a fearless chase for the things that feel important. The key is to nurture these traits, while at the same time turning down the behaviours that stifle them. That's where you come in.

1. Let it be about being brave, rather than being right/ brilliant/ excellent (because brave is all of those things).

2. Provide opportunities for failure.

3. Encourage self-compassion. It's not the thought that does damage, it's the way they respond to it.

When children have rigid ideas of how things (or they) 'should' be, trouble can strut in like a rock star to a stage. The antidote to this is self-compassion. When children (or any of us) respond to setbacks with self-compassion, the way forward is easier. Self-compassion requires courage. It involves acknowledging the parts of ourselves and our story that feel difficult, and moving towards them with acceptance and an open heart. To exercise self-compassion, we first need to avoid the tendency which is wired deeply into many of us, to blame, avoid, and distract. These are completely understandable responses - it's how we protect ourselves from the pain of disappointment, but they can keep us stuck. Research has found that self-compassion turns down the volume on perfectionism. Kristen Neff, a leader in self-compassion research has identified three parts to self-compassion:

* self-kindness - as opposed to self-criticism. 'I made a mistake. That's okay. I'll get it next time,' or, 'That didn't turn out the way I thought. What can I learn from this?';
* connection to our common humanity - seeing our experiences as part of being human, rather than a sign of our own deficits or failings. Nurture this by encouraging open, non-judgemental, compassionate conversation about mistakes and setbacks (yours and theirs);
* mindfulness - letting painful thoughts and emotions come and go, rather than attaching more meaning to the thought or feeling than it deserves.

4. Here's how I see you. (And I love what I see.)

Like the rest of us, kids can take their results as a reflection of themselves. Help that image to be a strong, nourishing one by helping them focus on the process rather than the outcome. 'I love how hard you worked on that. You had some great ideas for your assignment.' Validate their point of view, 'You want to do well in this don't you', and then offer another one, 'I can see how hard you're working.' By doing this, they can discover that imperfection doesn't change the good in them. They can make mistakes and be hardworking, determined, brave, and strong. Imperfection is something that happens at one point in time and it doesn't cancel out how great they are.

And finally ...

As parents, it's important that we also keep our own tendencies towards perfection in check. Kids will always learn more of what we do than what we say. When we, as parents show our children that we lovingly accept the ebbs and flows that will come with their adventure through childhood, through adolescence and into adulthood, we give them the power to do the same. This freedom is life-giving, and will flourish their capacity to explore their place in the world, learn from their mistakes, and find what lights them up from the inside out.

A Book for Kids About Anxiety ...

'Hey Warrior' is the book I've written for children to help them understand anxiety and to find their 'brave'. It explains why anxiety feels the way it does, and it will teach them how they can 'be the boss of their brains' during anxiety, to feel calm. It's not always enough to tell kids what to do - they need to understand why it works. Hey Warrior does this, giving explanations in a fun, simple, way that helps things make sense in a, 'Oh so that's how that works!' kind of way, alongside gorgeous illustrations. (See here for the trailer.)

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Anxiety in Children - 10 Practical Strategies to Help Kids Manage Perfectionism - Hey Sigmund

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An anxious mind is also a beautifully creative, imaginative mind. This is a great thing, except for when that imagination and creativity is being used to imagine outcomes that feel unbearable, however unlikely they may be. These thoughts of what 'could' happen, drive self-talk, which in turn directs behaviour towards doing whatever is necessary to...

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Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse | Thomas Curran

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Why Perfectionism Isn’t as Good as You Think

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Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can motivate you to perform at a high level and deliver top-quality work. On the other hand, it can cause you unnecessary anxiety and slow you down. How can you harness the positives of your perfectionism while mitigating the negatives? What measures or practices can you use to keep your perfectionism in check? Should you enlist the help of others?

What the Experts Say
"A lot of perfectionistic tendencies are rooted in fear and insecurity," says Matt Plummer, founder of Zarvana, the online coaching service that helps workers become more productive. "Many perfectionists worry that if they let go of their [meticulousness and conscientiousness], it will hurt their performance and standing." And so they cling to their perfectionism even when it's counterproductive. If this describes you, take heart. Reining in your perfectionistic propensities is not as hard as it sounds. "It's about rechanneling a strength of yours rather than aiming for a lower goal." Your aim is to take "some of the pressure off yourself," says Alice Boyes, a former clinical psychologist and author of The Healthy Mind Toolkit and The Anxiety Toolkit. Of course that's easier said than done. But the fact remains, "if you genuinely want to be a high achiever, you're bound to do some things imperfectly." Here are some ideas of how to let go of your penchant for perfectionism.

See the big picture
As any perfectionist will tell you, being perfect isn't easy. Your diligence "takes a lot of effort," and your attention to detail is "incredibly time-consuming," says Plummer. Of course, as a perfectionist you're never going to aim for merely adequate - nor should you. But you must also " recognize the opportunity cost and time" of your behavior. "Ask yourself: Am I using my time wisely? Am I being productive?" He recommends focusing on "maximizing the impact" of your work. "You can spend an extra three hours making a presentation perfect, but does that improve the impact for the client or your organization?" Boyes concurs. "Shift your mindset," she says. You're going to be "less perfect about some things, so you can concentrate on what's important." If you're continuing to tinker on an assignment that most others would consider complete, try to " recognize that just getting it done " is a decent goal. "There's a point of diminishing returns" when it comes to sweating the small stuff and nitpicking niggling details.

Adjust your standards
Managing your perfectionism also requires you to "calibrate your standards," says Plummer. Say, for example, you're grinding out an important memo for your organization. He suggests showing your efforts to a colleague or supervisor early in the process. You may discover it's "already good enough" and "that task you thought could take 10 hours could really take only five." Don't be shy or embarrassed. "It's your first draft," says Boyes. And even if you need to continue to work on it, the "feedback you receive will help you improve." Keep in mind, too, that this memo needn't be worthy of a Pulitzer. "What you're saying doesn't have to be the final word, it just has to contribute something useful."

Create a checklist
The pursuit of perfection is a bit like wandering on an aimless journey, says Plummer. "You keep walking and walking, but you're not sure that you're getting any closer to your destination," he says. Similarly, "a perfectionist is always going to want to keep working [on a given assignment.] But the end result is rarely satisfying." So, rather than toil "in search of this amorphous goal of perfection," he recommends, "creating a checklist" for each task. Say, for instance, you're working on an important client pitch. The perfectionist in you might fret over the font choice and sweat every semi-colon. But with a checklist that reminds you to confirm you've spelled things correctly and to eliminate basic editing errors, you needn't endlessly slog. "You're following a process with discrete and measurable goals," he says. Once you've ticked off the items on your list, "you're done."

Break the cycle of rumination
Many perfectionists have a proclivity to ruminate - repetitively mulling over a thought or problem without ever coming to a resolution. "It's related to anxiety," says Boyes. People who ruminate tend to be "less forgiving of themselves." It's unhealthy, and it's unproductive. "Don't confuse ruminating with problem-solving." Instead look for ways to disrupt the cycle.

Identify your triggers. The first step in conquering this habit is to "learn to recognize when you're ruminating," says Boyes. Figure out what sets you off. Make note of the situation: where you are, the time of day, and who's around. "Find your consistent patterns," then think about ways you might steer clear of or control those factors.

Don't trust your first reaction. If you're dwelling on a past event, such as an interaction with a colleague, be cautious. You might not have an accurate read of the situation, says Boyes. When you ruminate, "you tend to focus on all the bad things," she says. "So you can't trust what your ruminating mind is telling you." Try hard to get perspective and give yourself time and distance before taking action. You might be "blowing it out of proportion."

Seek a diversion. "Distractions are useful," says Boyes. "Do something that is cognitively absorbing but that's also tedious and doesn't induce anxiety, such as filling out an expense report." Often spending just 10 minutes on a mundane but practical task like that "breaks the chain" and keeps you from "spinning your wheels."

Think positive. Ruminating often leads to "avoidance" of certain tasks, notes Boyes. "There's a feeling of, 'If I can't do it perfectly I won't bother,'" she says. To combat this idea, she recommends reflecting on times in your past when you tried something new. "Think about the successes you've had," she says. By reminding yourself of the pathways that led to your accomplishments, you'll be able to see that you achieved a meaningful outcome despite not being "100% certain of success" in advance. This helps you "learn from your experiences," she says.

Get perspective
You may find it "helpful to talk to someone about your tendencies," says Boyes. That person could be "a boss who's willing to engage with you emotionally, a friend, sibling, mentor, or spouse." Be honest and open. Tell this person that you're working on getting better. "Say, 'I give you permission to let me know if I'm being too fussy/high maintenance/finicky'" about a given topic. Make it clear that you want to hear how you come across. "Say, 'I may get defensive, but I promise to think about what you say.'" And be sure to make good on that pledge.

Monitor your progress
As you're working on moderating your perfectionist tendencies, Boyes recommends undertaking "a weekly review" in which you reflect on your progress. Try to get some "psychological distance" and ask yourself, "Was there anything I avoided this week due to fear of making mistakes? Were there any instances where my perfectionism was not worth it? Were there any times this week when I took action, even when I felt uncertain, and ended up moving things forward?" Your objective, says Plummer, is to "learn where perfectionism has a positive impact and where it does not." Remember, you're not fundamentally "changing course"; rather, you're, "redirecting your personality."
Principles to Remember Do

Learn to recognize the point of diminishing returns when you're aiming to complete a task perfectly. Sometimes just getting it done is a worthy goal.

Reflect on your progress. Identify examples of when you successfully moderated your perfectionist tendencies.

Calibrate your standards. Oftentimes what you're writing or saying doesn't have to be the final word, it just has to contribute something useful.

Don't

Mistake ruminating for problem solving. When your mind is twisting and turning, seek out distractions to break the cycle.

Toil in pursuit of an amorphous goal of perfection. Create a checklist that ensures you follow a process with measurable targets.

Go it alone. Ask others - a trusted colleague, friend, or mentor - for perspective and support.

Case Study #1: Shift your mindset and get comfortable with imperfection
In the past, Stacy Caprio's perfectionism led her to avoid certain tasks. "I never wanted to start something unless I knew exactly how to do it," she says. "It was a roadblock. It literally stopped me from doing new things."

Earlier in her career, she worked for an online marketing agency. One of her tasks was to add tracking tags to client websites, which would allow her organization to gather more information about their customers' revenue and sales.

Stacy had never added a tag before and was petrified of doing it wrong. "I wanted my work to be good, and I wanted to be seen as doing a good job," she says. "I didn't want to mess up."

Instead of trying and risking imperfection, Stacy busied herself with email, building ad sets, and working on other marketing campaigns.

Her avoidance of the task didn't keep her from ruminating on it, though. "I thought about it constantly," she says. "Every time I have something new to do, it doesn't go away for me. It was at the top of my to-do list."

Still, she couldn't force herself to try. She realized a shift in mindset was in order. "To get this in check, I needed to make it clear to myself that getting it done was more important than making it perfect."

The turning point came when she happened upon a series of blogs by published authors. "Writers talked about that first step of getting a draft on paper," she says. "The first draft is usually terrible. But then they go back and edit and rework it."

Learning more about the writing process helped her gain perspective on her situation. "I had to give myself permission to know that the first one was not going to be great; it might not even work," she says. "But I will get better."

Eventually, she plucked up her courage and took a shot. Her first one was fine; her second one was an improvement. Her third attempt was great.

Today Stacy is her own boss. She runs a website devoted to inspiring side hustles, her.ceo. She has learned many lessons about battling her perfectionist demons. "Just because I think something is perfect doesn't mean it is," she says. "I likely need feedback from others, especially customers, so that I can change the product over time to keep making it better."

Case Study #2: Seek support and perspective and focus on the big picture
Flame Schoeder, a professional certified coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, admits she is a "recovering perfectionist." While her perfectionism has helped her excel professionally, it has also contributed to feelings of insecurity.

Earlier in her career, for instance, she noticed that she sometimes had the tendency to "freeze up" when talking to clients. "I'd get so in my head," she says. "I'd have something to say and then I'd think, 'That's not a smart enough or insightful enough comment,' and so I wouldn't say it."

A similar thing happened when she had a big client proposal to write. Beginning the project was hard because she "had a ton of self-doubt."

The solution: "I realized that all I needed to do was ask for help," she says.

Flame discovered that reaching out to a friend or colleague and "talking through ideas" helps her see that she does indeed have something to offer. Now she does this every time she's having difficulty getting a project under way. "It needs to be someone who knows that I am a perfectionist and knows that I get stuck," she says. "They give me the solid ground and the creative energy to start moving."

Colleagues also give her perspective on her work. Recently, she was working with a team on a marketing pitch for a restaurant brand. The pitch was for a new client, so "there was some uncertainty" about what this client would like or dislike.

Flame and another colleague - a fellow perfectionist - hemmed and hawed over the proposal. "Perfectionists tend to focus on what needs to be fixed and we negate everything that's good," she says. "The two of us went over and over the details and reworked things."

Finally, Flame asked her colleague a critical question: Is this pitch good enough for the client? "And we both had an 'ah-ha moment' that it was," she says.

They submitted the pitch, and the client loved it. "The client never saw that anything was missing," she says. "They saw the creativity, the polish, and the finesse."

This approval was a powerful signal to Flame. "I try to remind myself that I am not dealing with life-or-death situations. It's just marketing."

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Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can motivate you to perform at a high level and deliver top-quality work. On the other, it can cause you unnecessary anxiety and sometimes annoy your colleagues. How can you harness the positives of your perfectionism while mitigating the negatives?

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In today's episode, we are talking all about how to manage Perfectionism. I am so honored to have Monica Packer on the podcast as this week's guest, as she has such an inspirational story about how she was impacted by perfectionism and what steps she is taking each day to take her life back from Perfectionism. This episode is jam packed with tools and strategies to demonstrate how to manage perfectionism in your life.

In this episode, Monica answered the below questions and delivered some incredible insight into how to manage perfectionism in areas I myself had never considered.

What is perfectionism and how has it impacted your life?

What did perfectionism look like for you personally?

We often praise people who are "perfect." What are your thoughts on this?

At what point in your life did you realize you were a perfectionist?

What did perfectionism look like for you personally?

How long had you experienced perfectionism?

What was your experience with overcoming perfectionism?

What advice do you have to those who experience perfectionism?

Were there any roadblocks/setbacks etc to this journey for you?

If you are early in the process of learning about perfectionism or you are well aware of your perfectionistic characteristics, I am sure you will benefit from this incredible interview.
For more information on Monica, visit:
Instagram: @aboutprogress

Facebook: @aboutprogress

Website: aboutprogress.com

Before we go, I want to remind you that ERP School for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is available for purchase until October 1, 2019! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Click HERE for more information and to purchase.

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Ep. 120: How to Manage Perfectionism (with Monica Packer)

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In today's episode, we are talking all about how to manage Perfectionism.&nbsp;I am so honored to have Monica Packer on the podcast as this week's guest, as she has such an inspirational story about how she was impacted by perfectionism and what steps she is taking each day to take

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Perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait that increases your chances of success, but it can lead to self-defeating thoughts or behaviors that make it harder to achieve goals. It may also cause stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. People who strive for perfection out of feelings of inadequacy or failure may find it helpful to speak with a therapist; this can often help people manage excessive self-criticism.

What Is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is often defined as the need to be or appear to be perfect, or even to believe that it's possible to achieve perfection. It is typically viewed as a positive trait rather than a flaw. People may use the term "healthy perfectionism" to describe or justify perfectionistic behavior.

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth.

Brené Brown, a writer and research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, distinguishes between perfectionism and healthy behavior. She says, "Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth." She explains that perfectionism is used by many people as a shield to protect against the pain of blame, judgment, or shame.

Signs You Might Be a Perfectionist

Most people engage in perfectionism from time to time or in certain areas of life. People who are nearly full-time perfectionists may feel the need to achieve perfection constantly. They might also:

Not be able to perform a task unless they know they can do it perfectly.

View the end product as the most important part of any undertaking. As a result, they may focus less on the process of learning or completing a task to the best of their ability.

Not see a task as finished until the result is perfect according to their standards.

Procrastinate. People with perfectionism may not want to begin a task until they know they can do it perfectly.

Take an excessive amount of time to complete a task that does not typically take others long to complete.

Examples of Perfectionistic Behavior

Most people want to achieve success, but working hard to reach your goals does not always indicate perfectionistic behavior. People who are perfectionists typically believe that nothing they do is worthwhile unless it is perfect. Instead of being proud of their progress, learning, or hard work, they might constantly compare their work to the work of others or fixate on achieving flawless output.

Even when people with perfectionistic traits get their desired results, they may still be unsatisfied. They may feel that if they truly were perfect, they would not have had to work so hard to achieve their goals.

Some examples of perfectionism include:

Spending 30 minutes writing and rewriting a two-sentence email.

Believing that missing two points on a test is a sign of failure.

Difficulty being happy for others who are successful.

Holding oneself to the standards of others' accomplishments or comparing oneself unfavorably and unrealistically to others.

Skipping class or avoiding a chore because it is pointless to make an effort unless perfection can be achieved.

Focusing on the end product rather than the process of learning.

Avoiding playing a game or trying a new activity with friends for fear of being shown up as less than perfect.

Types of Perfectionism

A few distinct types of perfectionism are thought to exist. While these types share similar behaviors, their motives and outcomes often differ.

Domains of Perfectionism

Perfectionism can impact many areas of a person's life, and these areas are often referred to as domains. Sometimes, perfectionism affects only one domain, while other times, it impacts multiple domains. Below are some areas of life perfectionism can affect.

In the workplace or at school: People who are perfectionists in school or at work may take longer than others to complete a task. They may also avoid starting a task they do not feel confident in. This is often due to a desire to complete the task perfectly.

Intimate relationships or friendships: Perfectionism can cause people to place their unrealistic standards on their loved ones, bringing extra stress and pressure into the relationship.

Physical activity: Sports and athletics often encourage or exacerbate perfectionism. In individual sports, such as gymnastics or track, perfectionism may be especially prevalent, since the athlete is often competing against oneself.

Environment or surroundings: This may include the need for one's house or yard to be immaculate at all times. It can cause an individual to spend large amounts of time and energy keeping their immediate surroundings tidy or in line with their aesthetic standards.

Hygiene and health: Ironically, this type of perfectionism may cause health issues. For instance, someone may stop brushing their teeth because they failed to do so once. This type of perfectionism may also lead to eating disorders like orthorexia nervosa, in which individuals feel compelled to stick to a rigidly healthy diet.

How one speaks or writes: When a person is perfectionistic about how they speak or write, the quality of their speech or writing may decrease. It may cause them to speak very little or to avoid writing for fear of making a mistake.

Physical appearance: This type of perfectionism can cause someone to worry excessively about their personal grooming or style. They may take hours choosing what to wear or how to style their hair. Perfectionism surrounding physical appearance can also lead to eating disorders or exercise addiction.

What Causes Perfectionism?

Many factors can contribute to whether perfectionism develops. A few include:

Frequent fear of disapproval from others or feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

Mental health issues like anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). While a correlation between OCD and perfectionism has been found to exist, not all people with perfectionism have OCD, and not all people with OCD are perfectionists.

Having a parent who exhibits perfectionistic behavior or expresses disapproval when their children's efforts do not result in perfection. Some parents may encourage their child to succeed in every area or push perfection on them to an extent that can be considered abusive.

An insecure early attachment. People who had a troubled attachment with parents when they were young may experience difficulty self-soothing as adults. They may have trouble accepting a good outcome as good if it's not perfect.

People with a history of high achievement sometimes feel overwhelming pressure to live up to their previous achievements. This often leads them to engage in perfectionistic behavior. Children who are frequently praised for their accomplishments may feel pressure to keep achieving as they age, which can also cause perfectionistic tendencies.

If you feel you may have traits of perfectionism that cause you daily distress, know that perfectionistic behavior and habits can be changed. It is possible to learn healthier attitudes about your goals and standards with the help of a trusted, compassionate therapist.
References:

1. Flett, G. L., Heisel, M. J., & Hewitt, P. L. (2014). The destructiveness of perfectionism revisited: Implications for the assessment of suicide risk and the prevention of suicide. Review of General Psychology, 18(3), 156-172. doi: http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/gpr0000011

2. Hasse, A. M., Prapavessis, H., & Owens, R. G. (2013, June 24). Domain-specificity in perfectionism: Variations across domains of life. Personality and Individual Differences, 55(2013), 711-715. Retrieved from http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.719.5924&rep=rep1&type=pdf

3. Rettner, R. (2010, July 11). The dark side of perfectionism revealed. Retrieved from http://www.livescience.com/6724-dark-side-perfectionism-revealed.html

4. Scutti, S. (2014, September 26). Perfectionists, especially doctors, architects, and lawyers, are at higher risk of suicide. Retrieved from http://www.medicaldaily.com/perfectionists-especially-doctors-architects-and-lawyers-are-higher-risk-suicide-305256

5. Szymanski, J. (2011, October 3). Perfectionism: Healthy or hurtful? Retrieved from http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/10/is_perfectionism_helping_or_hu.html

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Perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait that increases your chances of success, but it can lead to self-defeating thoughts or behaviors that make it harder to achieve goals. It may also cause stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

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** Best of 2018 Award Winner ** - Apple

** 2017 App of the Year ** - Apple

** Happiest App in the World ** - Center for Humane Technology

Calm is the #1 app for Sleep, Meditation and Relaxation. Sleep better, relieve stress, lower anxiety and refocus your attention. Explore an extensive library of guided meditations, Sleep Stories, breathwork, exclusive music and stretching exercises.

Invest in your mental health and choose a guided meditation session that fits within your busy schedule. Add Calm to your daily routine and join the millions experiencing the life-changing benefits of practicing mindfulness. Beginners, intermediate and advanced users can all find their home in Calm.

Let relaxing music and calming sounds help you meditate, focus and sleep better. Sleep Stories are bedtime stories that are guaranteed to lull you into a deep and restful slumber. Pick from 100+ exclusive Sleep Stories, featuring well-known talent such as Matthew McConaughey, Stephen Fry, Rosé, Jerome Flynn and P!nk.

Calm is recommended by top psychologists, therapists and mental health experts. Take a deep breath and find your Calm.

CALM FEATURES

MEDITATION & MINDFULNESS
* Meditate with seasoned experts, regardless of your experience level
* Introduce mindfulness into your daily routine and learn to calm your mind
* Mindfulness topics include Deep Sleep, Calming Anxiety, Managing Stress, Focus and Concentration, Breaking Habits, Happiness, Self-Esteem and so much more

SLEEP STORIES
* Sleep soundly listening to bedtime stories for adults and children alike
* Wonder - Join Matthew McConaughey on a dreamy story about the mysteries of the universe
* Blue Gold - Journey through the sleepy village of Provence with master storyteller Stephen Fry
* The Nordland Night Train - Travel up the scenic coast of Norway aboard a remote railway
* Happy Little Zzzs - Drift off to the soothing brush strokes of beloved painter Bob Ross

RELAXATION & STRESS RELIEF
* Learn to relax and lower stress with daily meditation and breathing exercises
* Focus on a goal with Dailies - Reduce anxiety with daily 10-minute original programs like the Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt, the Daily Trip with Jeff Warren, or the Daily Jay with Jay Shetty
* Shift your thinking and find your calm through inspiring stories with Wisdom
* Daily Move: Mindful stretching and movement to relax your body during the day

ALSO FEATURING
* Daily Streaks & Mindful Minutes: Track and celebrate your progress
* 7 and 21 day mindfulness programs for both beginner and advanced users
* Music: Exclusive music engineered to help you focus, relax or sleep
* Soundscapes to sleep: Ocean waves, Heavy Rain, Camp Fire, Babbling Brook and more

Calm saves your meditation and sleep sessions to your Apple Health app.

Subscription pricing and terms:
Calm offers an auto-renewing monthly subscription at $14.99/month and an auto-renewing yearly subscription at $69.99/year to provide you with unlimited access to the Calm Collection while you maintain an active subscription. Calm also offers a Lifetime subscription for $399.99 which is paid for by a one-off upfront payment with unlimited access to the Calm Collection forever.

Payment will be charged to the credit card connected to your iTunes Account when you confirm the initial subscription purchase. Subscriptions automatically renew unless auto-renew is turned off at least 24-hours before the end of the current subscription period. Your account will be charged for renewal within 24-hours prior to the end of the current period, and the cost of the renewal will be identified. You may manage your subscription and auto-renewal may be turned off by going to your Account Settings after the purchase. Any unused portion of a free trial period, if offered, will be forfeited when you purchase a subscription, where applicable.

Read more about our terms and conditions here:
Terms of service: https://www.calm.com/terms
Privacy policy: https://www.calm.com/privacy

Calm is the #1 app for sleep and meditation. Discover a happier, healthier you through our meditations, Sleep Stories, music, and more.

Calm is for anyone, whether you're brand new to meditation or a seasoned expert. It's also for anyone who needs a mental break, a soothing sound, or a peaceful night's rest. Our guided meditations are available in lengths of 3 to 25 minutes, so you can choose the perfect length to fit your schedule.

We offer a new 10-minute Daily Calm every day, Sleep Stories narrated by well-known voices like Matthew McConaughey, a music library with exclusive tracks from top artists like Keith Urban and Disney, short videos with mindful movement and gentle stretching for every body type, Masterclasses taught by world-renowned experts in the field of mindfulness, soundscapes and nature sounds to use during meditation or to help you sleep, breathing exercises to help you relax, and more.

With over 100 million users worldwide, we're having a positive effect on more and more people each day. Take a moment to prioritize yourself today, and enjoy the app.

Editors' Choice

Take a deep breath. That phrase greets you whenever you open Calm. It's both a call to action and a defining feature of the app's approach to meditation: You're going to get through this, and all you need to start is a moment. In the increasingly crowded field of apps for meditation and mindfulness, Calm stands out for its ease of use and attention to (soothing) detail.

Has become better with years

Calm has always been a good app. As they grew, so did frustrating tech issues but they seem to have solved those and have added to their programs. It's as if they have beautifully sculpted the app with time. I really appreciate the choices given when I open Calm. Sometimes I need a moving meditation. Sometimes I need the wisdom Sometimes a little humor and sometimes only Tamara's calming voice will do. I really appreciate the meditating sounds of soft rain or a washing machine or waves ebbing & flowing. But my very tough Working K9 will only calm when going through his annual vet visit with blood tests and shots and such to Baby Shhh and it works every time. So I guess if Calms me and my dog, I have to give it five stars. I love the breathing part. I use it almost daily. Not a fan of the music but the sleep stories are the best and I love that I can use the search bar and find one of my favorites I may be in the mood for such as a dream over Paris or the history of the Library at Oxford or the train stories. Also the narrators offer excellent choices and their are certain ones whom I just need to hear at hard times because their soft melodic gift of storytelling puts me right out. I really appreciate the variety. I have had the Calm app I believe since not long after it launched and as others have come and gone and Calm has had its own growing pains, it's the one with which I remain. So, thanks Calm, from my Tough Dog and I both.

So sorry for the trouble you've experienced! Please try leaving the app open on the loading screen, as this should allow the app to fully load. Upon subsequent app launches, the app should then load normally without any delay on the "take a deep breath" screen. If you are experiencing issues on an older version of the iOS app, please update to the latest version, then follow the steps above if you experience any loading issues.

𝔸 𝕗𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕕

Felix has a stunning, soothing, and low pitched voice. He should be added because a lot of people love his voice. And it could amplify the app's popularity among stays. It's a good idea. But it's not necessary. If your app is a voice-over, then you should use the same pitch as the voice, or even a lower one. The same goes for the text. A Felix has a stunning, soothing, and low pitched voice. He should be added because a lot of people love his voice. And it could amplify the app's popularity. Felix gets a load of support. If Felix's voice can help a 10 year old with autism calm down, it can help your users too. So it's good to have him. You can even add a Felix to your text messages if it helps your customers. This is an excellent idea and one that I've seen in a few places. I like this idea, because Felix has a stunning, soothing, and low pitched voice. He should be added because a lot of people love his voice. And it could amplify the app's popularity. Felix gets a load of support. If Felix's voice can help a 10 year old with autism calm down, it can help your users too. We have a ton of users that love Felix. His voice is amazing. That's why we'll be adding him to the list. Maybe you want to add Felix because he has this video series that is intended for people who can't sleep.

Data Used to Track You

The following data may be used to track you across apps and websites owned by other companies:

Data Linked to You

The following data may be collected and linked to your identity:

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‎** Best of 2018 Award Winner ** - Apple ** 2017 App of the Year ** - Apple ** Happiest App in the World ** - Center for Humane Technology Calm is the #1 app for Sleep, Meditation and Relaxation. Sleep better, relieve stress, lower anxiety and refocus your attention.

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Are you in search of a simple prompt journal app?
Or do you need a guided gratitude journal with I am affirmations?
Do you also want manifestation apps with a vision board and dream board for manifestation and law of attraction practice?

You need the Gratitude app which seamlessly blends 4 amazing features in one app:

1. Guided gratitude journal with prompts
2. Positive self affirmations
3. Vision board to manifest your goals
4. Daily zen section with motivation quotes, stories, articles to stay focused on your goals and mental health.

∆ GRATITUDE JOURNAL
Write about what you are grateful for fast and easy and make it a part of your morning routine. You can set up 3 journaling reminders. Our prompt journal app sends notifications with journal prompts like 'What made you smile today' or 'What was the best part about today'. You can use these guided journals prompts to think about new things to be thankful for and add images to your journal entries. You can also reflect on your days. Here is how to use the manifestation journal:

- use the journaling prompts to know what to write about if you are out of ideas. A good start is to write 3 good things that happened in the day.
- create memories by adding photos to your thankful prompted journal
- set daily journal colors to reflect the mood and use our daily journal free app as a mental health tracker too
- set my gratitude journal reminders

◆ POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
The next section is writing/reading positive affirmations for some pick me up motivating self talk. You can discover new affirmations or create your own to practice positive self-talk. Examples are I am worthy, or I am enough. Here is how to love yourself with some positive self-talk and self love:

- pick up to 5 life values that are important to you
- arrange to life values in order of importance
- you will get free affirmations for each life value
- add any affirmation to "my affirmations" by tapping the + icon
- practice positive affirmations daily by reading or listening to them
- edit the affirmation text, background color, add images as backgrounds and more.
- set affirmations reminders

◉ CREATE VISION BOARDS
Our daily gratitude journal and affirmations app also allows you to create a vision board to focus on your goals and dreams. The vision boards are a great manifestation tool that help you stay focused on your life goals as well as to practice the law of attraction. Here you can:

- pick a goal and create multiple vision boards
- add photos to your vision board
- generate reals based on the section of your vision board

● DAILY ZEN
Visit our Daily Zen section whenever you need daily motivation, happiness reminders, gratitude, and inspiration. There you can discover daily motivation quotes, stories, articles, tools, and more self-help content!

Most of our users have made a morning routine to write their zen journals, practice affirmations, and visualize. The gratitude app is a great diary journal tool to focus on the positive, become more mindful, and live a purposeful life with intention and positivity.

Happiness is with you!
► Download this prompt journal and affirmations app now for FREE.

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Privacy Policy: https://www.notion.so/Gratitude-App-Privacy-Policy-40195d1e9f51499c82dc8f7d06ab2a1c
Terms of Use: https://medium.com/@priteshsankhe/terms-and-conditions-c7a676f5d884

Version 3.11.55

Vision board with an improved experience
Get your vision board sections widgets on your Home Screen
'Help me out' button to give you random journal prompts
New 21 Day Self-Love Course
Write to us with any feedback at priteshsankhe@gratefulness.me

Greatness starts by being grateful

I am so thankful for this app. I'm also very grateful to the team who developed it and who constantly updates it to a positive direction. This app's free feature is great in which I started with. But I decided to purchase the membership because I enjoy uploading photos and keeping traceable record of my journey of gratitude.
I started this app when I started reading the book, "The gift," by Rhonda Byrnes.
I recommend this app to go alongside that book because it easily allows you to record your day to day grateful practices. The book had 28 days to practice gratefulness. And both the book and this app has allowed me to transform my life to the better. 2020 has not been a kind year to many , but to practice being grateful even for the small things go a long way. I still practice writing down my daily blessings in this app despite finishing the book weeks ago. I also love the fact that they offer reminders, quotes and challenges to keep you engaged to being grateful. So thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!

Hey Nina! Thank you so much for your wonderful and inspiring review 😍 I am glad to see that you have been working on empowering yourself on your life journey. Gratitude app was built out of a personal need. And, with constant practice, gratitude brings happiness around. Thank you for liking the features like reminders, quotes and taking the challenge. I wish you a wonderful journey ahead. Lots of love and be safe ❤️

A diamond in the rough

I was looking for a simple way to be more mindful and grateful when I stumbled upon this app. It's awesome. The free version may be perfect for you to add a bit a positivity. If so, use it, in these troubling times it's hard to remember all the good things in your life. I got the subscription as I love the fact that is synced across devices and you can add more pics. I was just looking for a easy way to journal my thoughts but this little gem has so much more: from reminders, gratitude prompts, daily inspirational quotes, and even ways to make your own affirmations to help you focus on the the positive and your resiliency. Even if you only use the free version, please use it. The positivity and kindness that come from mindfulness, no matter how small, will create a tiny ripple in the sea of chaos. And who knows, maybe that one ripple will be the only thing that another person has in their life. We never truly know just how we affect people. Let's try and make sure it's kindness, empathy and compassion we spread.

Hey, this is so lovely 😍 Thank you so much for your wonderful review 🙏 I shared your review with my friends to inspire them. I am so glad to see you found my app meaningful. This app was built out of a personal need. You are right about the free version of the app. They are perfect to build a habit of practising gratitude. I am glad that you found the features inside the app helpful. I really liked what you have said in the last lines of your review 🙌 I wish you a wonderful journey ahead. Lots of love and be safe ❤️

Simplicity,positive,motivational and hooked

I originally bought a journal on sale a month ago but have not touched it. I also have a daily motivational that I sent a quote to my health coach. And she replied using the referral. I was intrigued cause she is always upbeat. I was hooked. What I love is it only asks what made you smile or "I am so grateful because". So many apps ask your mood and if you are sad. Angry. Depressed then you expound on negative. And I stayed in mode and was never consistent so stayed sad
Life is full of many difficult but wonderful opportunities and I learned to look at situations as a blessing and what Am I to learn from this
I am a 70 year old female still working. Full time and I slipped and fell a week ago. I am so grateful that my bruised muscles are healing and I have paid time to be off. This again makes me stop and reflect the small things
I had always dealt with depression and anxiety thru life and it was consuming me
This app has been a godsend because it does not allow any negativity. Only asks about the positivety
Another great asset is the simple daily zens that I sometimes forward is not sent with Advertisements etc like my motivational app is
Simplicity Oh my goodness, as I am writing this a quote just popped up saying"a negative mind will never produce positive results "
How true. Stay positive. Look for the good and life will give you laughter and smiles. Thank you thank you

Hey, I wish you keep spreading happiness and sunshine in your life 😊 Thank you so much for this amazing inspiring review 😍 Being grateful makes you happy, it helps us calm our mind and focus on the positive things around us. I am grateful that you stumbled upon my app and have been practicing gratitude 🙏 I wish more power to you to cope with your depression and anxiety and be cheerful always 😊 I truly loved your quote which you have shared here 'a negative mind will never produce positive results'. I wish you lots of happiness and love in life ❤️. Thank you again 🙏

The developer, Hapjoy Technologies Private Limited, indicated that the app's privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer's privacy policy.

Data Used to Track You

The following data may be used to track you across apps and websites owned by other companies:

Data Linked to You

The following data may be collected and linked to your identity:

Data Not Linked to You

The following data may be collected but it is not linked to your identity:

Privacy practices may vary, for example, based on the features you use or your age. Learn More

Information

Seller

Hapjoy Technologies Private Limited

Compatibility

iPhone

Requires iOS 11.0 or later.

iPad

Requires iPadOS 11.0 or later.

iPod touch

Requires iOS 11.0 or later.

Mac

Requires macOS 11.0 or later and a Mac with Apple M1 chip.

Family Sharing

With Family Sharing set up, up to six family members can use this app.

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‎Are you in search of a simple prompt journal app? Or do you need a guided gratitude journal with I am affirmations? Do you also want manifestation apps with a vision board and dream board for manifestation and law of attraction practice? You need the Gratitude app which seamlessly blends 4 amazing...

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The Official app of Noisli.com - The background noise and color generator for working and relaxing. High quality ambient sounds to help you focus while working, relieve anxiety, help during your meditation or yoga classes, or just to relax while reading or before going to sleep.

Noisli is mainly used to drown out annoying noises in order to better concentrate and to enhance productivity, or to create a pleasant audio environment for relaxing or sleeping.

You're working from an open office, have loud co workers and can't focus? You're working or studying from home or in a library and nothing gets you motivated? You're continuous travelling on plane or train and need a quick power nap?
Noisli makes your life a little easier and keeps you sane during long office hours or intense study sessions.

PRESS & MEDIA QUOTES
The Next Web - "The perfect tool to help get you more productive in the comfort of your own home"
Time - "Noisli helps you tackle busywork"
FastCompany - "12 Tech Tools Productivity Experts Can't Live Without"
Cnet - "Relax during your stressful workday with Noisli. It is pure simplicity"
LifeHacker - "Noisli Generates Background Sounds to Keep You Creative and Relaxed"

The app is also useful in many other situations, such as helping with insomnia, relaxing while reading, reduce stress, soothe headaches and migraines or at the spa, during massaging sessions and for parents to help your baby fall asleep. Noisli is also used to mask Tinnitus and to help with ADD and ADHD. With Noisli you can improve your health and feel better.

The service is already being used all over the world by coders, programmers, bloggers, writers, students and translators during work or by teachers during creative writing classes.

HOW IT WORKS
Mix different sounds and create your perfect sound ambience tailored to your personal need and taste. Activate one or more sounds and adjust the volume slider to create an always different and pleasing sound environment. With Noisli you can boost your focus and enhance your productivity or just lay back, listen, and enjoy falling asleep.

SOUNDS
Rain, Thunderstorm, Wind, Forest with Birds, Leaves, Water stream, Seaside with seagulls and relaxing waves, Water, Fireplace, Summer night with owls and crickets, Fan, rumbling Train, Coffee Shop, White Noise, Pink Noise, Brown Noise.

ALWAYS WITH YOU - OFFLINE SOUNDS
The Noisli app lets you play all of the sounds offline and therefore you can always enjoy its features and benefits also while travelling on a plane or commuting on a train, or during any other activity with no need for an internet connection.

CREATE AND SAVE YOUR WONDERFUL COMBOS
Play and Mix the Sounds together and find your Favourite Combos - Save and Replay them whenever you like.

SYNC
Now you can sign up for a free Noisli account and have your wonderful Combos always in sync on all your devices. A network connection is required to synchronise.

TIMER WITH FADE OUT FUNCTION
With the Timer function you can take advantage of efficient time management methods, such as the Pomodoro Technique, to be more efficient and productive while cutting out distractions and prevent burnouts. Use the built-in countdown timer function during work, study or creativity sessions or simply use it as a sleeping timer for taking a relaxed nap or while falling asleep.

BACKGROUND AUDIO SUPPORT
You can enjoy the wonderful sounds also while using other apps or while surfing the web.

FOLLOW US
Like it: https://facebook.com/Noisli
Follow: https://twitter.com/Noisli
Website: https://www.noisli.com

Version 1.1.4

This app has been updated by Apple to use the latest Apple signing certificate.

We heard your precious feedback and we got rid of a few annoying bugs and done some under the hood improvements.

Thank you for supporting Noisli!
Drop us a line at hello@noisli.com if you have any questions or feedback or you just want to say Hi!
If you are happy with Noisli, please keep sharing the love and tell others about your experience. We will send you good karma.

Amazing app yet this app needs app blocker

I am impressed how simple this app to use. Not like other applications this is far more simpler to use, you do not need an account to sign up, all you need is to pay for the app which is not too expensive. I'm not big fan of subscriptions because other developers is making others pay per month. Why not per year?
People has to continue working to make money.

Also as for your extension, I was kind of feeling disappointed because you're doing subscriptions too, as long you are not demanding for money. For the rational reason I think your doing this to keep your applications from having any problems, especially from us customers using your app.

As customer of these applications, instead of pressuring the developers to push themselves to work hard. Work smart than hard because it will be difficult to tackle onto difficult tasks, although I suggest breaking down the difficult tasks into steps to complete a harder task to improve this application.

One more thing before I go. Do you mind adding an app blocker to keep myself and others from being distracted? Since social media, and the internet is source of my distractions I'm mostly on my iPad than my laptop. I think it would be smart if you add an app blocker, since I already paid for this when I got the app. Could you add the app blocker for people who already paid for the app?

Almost there

I'm quite pleased with this well designed app and it's meditative nature sounds except for the thunder sound which is not realistic sounding and the fact that the app stops playing if you try to add some background music from iTunes, Pandora or other music player apps. Simultaneously playing two separate sound apps together technically IS possible on an iOS device as other ambiance apps can do it or they have an "add background music" feature (the Coffitivity coffee shop app can do both) - so it somewhat disappointed me to discover that Noisli could do neither. Add that feature guys and improve the thunder sounds and I'll give you 5 stars!

Pretty good, not great

This app is very user friendly, I love that you can make your own combos, its cute and simple, However, the sample tracks are just ok, I wish there were a few more and some need to be improved. Saving a combo is not super clear and I accidentally deleted a few before I figured it out. Also I love the timer, I wish there was an alarm option at the end of the timer, to wake up after or simply dift into silence.

The developer, Noisli Labs UG (haftungsbeschrankt), has not provided details about its privacy practices and handling of data to Apple. For more information, see the developer's privacy policy.

No Details Provided

The developer will be required to provide privacy details when they submit their next app update.

Information

Seller

Noisli Labs UG (haftungsbeschrankt)

Compatibility

iPhone

Requires iOS 7.0 or later.

iPad

Requires iPadOS 7.0 or later.

iPod touch

Requires iOS 7.0 or later.

Family Sharing

With Family Sharing set up, up to six family members can use this app.

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‎The Official app of Noisli.com - The background noise and color generator for working and relaxing. High quality ambient sounds to help you focus while working, relieve anxiety, help during your meditation or yoga classes, or just to relax while reading or before going to sleep. Noisli is mainly us...

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Manage any team project or task thanks to Trello's boards, cards and checklists. Improve collaboration and productivity-join our community of 50 million registered users!

Organize anything with anyone-for free!

Trello is a visual tool for organizing your work and life. Join more than 35 million registered users to organize all your projects at work, at home, or anywhere in between.

Whether you're planning a website design project, vacation, or company off-site, Trello is infinitely customizable and flexible for your every need.

With Trello you can:

**TACKLE TO-DO LISTS WITH EASE

* Get more done with Trello's customizable-yet-simple boards, lists, and cards.
* Go from idea to action in seconds by creating cards and dragging them across the board to follow your project's progress.
* Add checklists, labels, and due dates the way you see fit and give your projects the fuel they need to get across the finish line.

**MINIMIZE THE MENTAL LOAD

* Free your brain from remembering every planning detail.
* Add Power-Ups like a Calendar view of your due dates or add locations to cards to get a Map view-your project will take on a whole new perspective.

**STAY IN THE KNOW - EVEN ON THE GO

* To stay organized no matter where you are, turn on notifications and stay informed when cards are assigned, updated, and completed.
* Trello works offline! Add information to your boards and cards at any time and it will be saved for when you need it. We got your back.

Trade in your sticky notes (and mental notes) for Trello's digital boards. Get started for free today!

For more ideas on how to use Trello, visit: www.trello.com/inspiration

We value transparency and will ask for permissions to access: Camera, Microphone, Contacts and Photo Library Usage.

Bye bye bugs! We've fixed up a few things for better flow so you can keep on being productive (and awesome).

Mobile App deficiencies not clear

I've been a big fan of trello for a long time. Long before Atlassian acquired them, which I have mixed feeling about. Atlassian development is painfully slow and now so will TRELLO's. That said one of the big most recent complaints is that there are all sorts of docs about how to do this and that, and not one of them that I've found tells you WHERE you must be to see that, at all.
Example. There is no way via tbe mobile app to leave a guest board. But it's very easy on a desk. I found this out the hard way, and on my own. No docs mention this. When I asked for help NO ONE bothered to ask, or mention that I could easily accomplish this on a desk, where I RARELY go to use trello. When people can't find something and you should know it's different in different places, that's question number 1. "How are you accessing the tool?" followed by "what you're looking for may only be available via the desktop app or browser" all frustration would have been abated by that simple response or addendum to docs.

Hi Macelin, thanks for the review. We're sorry to hear you're running into issues with Trello. Would you mind reaching out to us on our contact form please? We'd be happy to help investigate this with you further - https://trello.com/contact‌‌‌

Pretty good but could be better

Good overall but there a few seemingly minor-to-add things that would be significant quality of life improvements. These are what's missing that I think wouldn't be hard to add that would be big improvements: ability to sort by due date on the app (this one is hugely irritating since this feature is available on the browser version), ability to select a default auto sorting (like to always have it sorted by due date instead of having to resort it every time after adding new cards), ability to set the times that reminders are sent (as it is it's just auto set to send a reminder 24 hours before the due date set, and that's not useful for a lot of things that I need reminders for in school). It would be nice if there was a setting that marked cards as completed in the due date box when they are moved to my "Done" column area, instead of needing to manually do it. It would also be nice if the icon for the checklist on the collapsed cards wasn't checked off unless all the items on the checklist are checked off; it's counterintuitive for the box to be shown checked off when I don't have anything checked off on the checklist. Would be easier to manage what's done and what's not visually if the box were not checked until the checklist is completed. I still have to supplement this app with other reminder apps and google calendar and tasks because of the lack of ability to set reminders at specific times/days.

Can't live without it

Trello has run my life for more than 5 years. The tool is so flexible and simple at the same time, the main limitation is your imagination. Recently the AI has started to make itself more obvious and helpful to my workflows. I'm enjoying an app that has been a core part of my life mainly in the past on web/desktop, now across web, phone and tablet even more than I have ever enjoyed it before. I have used similar and arguably more power tools like AirTable extensively. I might find my way back to that tool for some use cases, maybe such as programming integrations... but Trello is my home for what to do next, quarterly and yearly planning, goals, ideating, basic project management and recently it has sort of evolved into a personal diary of the day gone past. If I could ask one thing of the Trello team, it would be to have the power to turn off/toggle features/UI elements per board. Everything from labels, to activity, due date and members. This would make the tool comparable to airtable where you can customize the noise/size of each card to minimize unnecessary visual data overload per the specific task/data set you are utilizing the tool for. Thanks Trello Team. 💕💕 Trello so much, I even bought the yearly gold subscription even though I don't need it.

The developer, Trello, Inc., indicated that the app's privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer's privacy policy.

Data Linked to You

The following data may be collected and linked to your identity:

Privacy practices may vary, for example, based on the features you use or your age. Learn More

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Languages

English, Czech, Dutch, Finnish, French, German, Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Norwegian Bokmål, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Simplified Chinese, Spanish, Swedish, Thai, Traditional Chinese, Turkish, Ukrainian, Vietnamese

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‎Organize anything with anyone-for free! Trello is a visual tool for organizing your work and life. Join more than 35 million registered users to organize all your projects at work, at home, or anywhere in between. Whether you're planning a website design project, vacation, or company off-site, Tre...

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Wellbeing For Children: Confidence And Self-Esteem