# data[].attributes.body
Walking through the streets of the town I’ve lived in since I was 5 years old I look around, and see only smoke rising up from the buildings surrounding me. This is the outcome of the gnome attack that cost me my family and friends. My names Peter and I’m the only one left in this town.

# data[].attributes.headline
On the survival of a Garden Gnome attack

# data[].attributes.subject
On the survival of a Garden Gnome attack

# data[].attributes.body
When you find yourself under siege from these small, stately creatures your best defense is your feet. Strong yet small and susceptible to bashing, these gnomes are the sole variety that are aggressive. They are holding a grudge against us because of their useless role in modern society. If they attack bring out your iron-toed boots for all out war against these tiny monsters.

# data[].attributes.body
Rick was always hanging around the old farm during lunch. You could see it, and him, off in the distance while some kids smoked cigarettes under the bleachers. I remember eating my bologna sandwich one afternoon noticing him wandering his way over there. Little did I know this would be the last time I would see Rick...as Rick.

# data[].attributes.body
"Shhhhh! did you hear that?" asked ben
"Nah bruh, i think you need some rest" said Calvin sarcasticly while he scratched the back of his head. Suddenly there was a large rustle in one of the closest bushes to the left of them. Now the boys were scared and wondered why they thought to go on a walk at midnight on the "day of the darkness" whatever the hell that means. And why did aunt sally even say it like that, she basically choked on nothing when we said we wanted to go on a walk. Anyways it doesn't matter now. What the boys didn't know is that they should have listened to aunt sally. because that was the last time those boys would ever see anyone else again, they will be cursed to walk the earth never dying and always in pain from the people they miss, and of course that weird mutated hand.

# data[].attributes.headline
There was a garden filled with headless gnomes... The garden was surrounded by a tall black brick fence. This garden was overgrown and filled with junk and gnomes. Some would argue that the gnomes were junk but others cherished them... The gnomes would end up in the garden from being thrown over the fence. Then at night they would find there head that broke off and put it back on and go out for attack. No one ever knew who had been attacked there would just be deaths.

# data[].attributes.subject
There was a garden filled with headless gnomes... The garden was surrounded by a tall black brick fence. This garden was overgrown and filled with junk and gnomes. Some would argue that the gnomes were junk but others cherished them... The gnomes would end up in the garden from being thrown over the fence. Then at night they would find there head that broke off and put it back on and go out for attack. No one ever knew who had been attacked there would just be deaths.

# data[].attributes.body
There was a small town in a forgotten state. Kids would roam around freely, not afraid of anything unless it was the secrets woods. No one was allowed in the Moth Forest. Everyone would avoid going near there until one day, this little girl heard someone screaming her name and it was coming from the woods. With each scream let out, the closer she was starting to be pulled in. As she got to the border of the woods, she got pushed from someone behind her into the Moth Forest.

# data[].attributes.body
Mackayleigh Grace and Brinleigh Marie were having their typical thirsty Thursday at their favorite bar in New York.
"There are no single guys left in Manhattan!" complained Mackayleigh.
"Well, have you tried Saturn?" asked Brinleigh.
"Excuse me?"
"There's this new app called Starstruck. it's like Tinder, but for aliens."
(this is written terribly because that's how I assume it's actually written)

# data[].attributes.body
Once upon a time there was a lovely lake in the center of a larger lake surrounded by water. Known to some as the Indian Ocean it housed some of the cruelest creatures imaginable. Perhaps none of these monsters was so horrifying as the dreaded “fan man”. When people were sitting together in canoes or the like they would naturally get hot, India being one of the sun-torch-uriest nations on God’s blue earth. Despite this heat, they would occasionally feel the slight reprieve of a breeze wafting across their foreheads. This comfort would be quickly lessened when they looked up to see the  FAN MAN perched on their sales (or in cases when no sails where available, their heads) blowing cool air from his terrifying jaws. Lined with sharp teeth they were, yes and twice as sharp as the average needle. He would then cackle, saying “no help for ingrates!” And fly down to use those teeth to drain every ounce of blood from their bodies

# data[].attributes.body
‘Oh god’ I think to myself as I sit terrified behind the garden wall. I can hear their ceramic footsteps getting ever closer.
“we know you’re there….. you’ll think twice before smashing a gnome next time”

I berated myself for buying these gnomes off etsy. The vendor had even said that if you were mean to them, they were, according to him, “they’re the most malevolent group of ceramics that you’ll ever see”. How could I have known that dropping one on the front steps would wage a war that would develop into nuclear disaster for the whole human race?? Jimmy the gnome was dead because of me and now they were angry. Just in case the world ever gets back to normal again I feel like have to write this book. To guide the next group of unsuspecting collectors in how to survive the apocalypse brought on by gnomes. You’ll learn how to get to Russia with nothing but a 2 by 4 and an ice cube, ill teach you the weak point on gnomes and that the best weapon is actually a Rubik’s cube tied to a pen. Journey with me across the wasteland that is the United States as we avoid the traps set by the king of all the gnomes… Bartholomew.