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Hey Mia! Your Article was very well written and interesting. From the first line I wanted to read more to see what happened and if a girl really did call 911 because she got logged out of snapchat. (haha) In the future just make sure you just check for quick spelling mistakes. Anyways I really enjoyed your writing peice and your worg choice was really good.
-Danielle

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Hey Mia. I read your magazine article and it was really good. One thing I really liked about your piece is that the topic was interesting. I was hooked the whole time. Another thing I really liked is the details. You incorporated many details throughout the article that really added a lot and I was clearly able to picture it in my head. One wish I have I to maybe breakup the dialogue. For instance you could have separated what the witnesses said a little more so it wasn't as confusing. Other than that I really enjoyed your piece!!! -Sofia:))

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Hey Mia. I read your magazine article and it was really good. One thing I really liked about your piece is that the topic was intereting but really relatable.

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Star:

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Hi Mia!
Star: For your first star, I believe that your word choice was very elevated. For example, Uproar, irrational, hysterical. All these words really helped describe the situation very well. Also you had very good description with the article to help the reader really be engaged in your story.
Wish: For your wish I believe that instead of saying of calling Emily by her fist name, you maybe can call her as her last name to make it should more like a news article. For example you can say, "stack was reported" or something similar to that. Also in the being of your writing piece you said Emily's last name twice and  spelled differently. For example you said, Stack and that in the next sentence you said Shack. Over all I think you did a really good job!!!!!
- Morgan Mcardle :)

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Ella Goldstein-
I really liked how you used descriptive details, it almost felt like I was there with you. Since I have never seen a dolphin before in my life, it was really good how you detailed ever single thing so I could understand better. One other comment I have for you is the way you described your charcters. Especially with Alex i liked how you incorpercated dialog, i think that was really good. One wish I could add for next time is to throughout the writing piece add more details about the setting itself. Overall I thought you did a really good job and I cant wait to see more.

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Hazel Thurman part 2-
In the future I suggest that you check for GUMS errors more carefully. I did find a couple of puncuation errors. Overall, great job!

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Joseph DeSantis-
I like the way that you used Advanced word choice while telling the story to us. I also liked the way that you Used a story that/ you are familiar with and that you can use the story to try and figure it out yourself. One wish I have is that you explain how the police knew where Elise and Asher were.

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Sofia Berkman-
Hey Mia! One thing I really liked about your piece is your intro. I like the questions in the beginning because they kind of let the reader know what your essay is going to be about. Another thing I liked is your pieces of data is

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Hazel-
I really like how you used multiple pieces of data for each source in each paragraph instead of only doing one piece of data per source. It really helped me understand how the two sources compared to each other. It helped give an understand of the different points of view each speaker/author had. Another thing I liked was that you didn't forget your transitions and they varied throughout. It really helped to compare and contrast the sources, and it brought your essay to a whole new level.