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24 reasons children act out—and how to respond

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24 reasons children act out—and how to respond

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When you become a parent for the first time, there is an undeniably steep learning curve. Add to that the struggle of sorting through fact and fiction when it comes to advice and- whew -it's enough to make you more tired than you already are with that newborn in the house.

Just like those childhood games of telephone when one statement would get twisted by the time it was told a dozen times, there are many parenting misconceptions that still tend to get traction. This is especially true with myths about bottle-feeding-something that the majority of parents will do during their baby's infancy, either exclusively or occasionally.

Here's what you really need to know about bottle-feeding facts versus fiction.
1. Myth: Babies are fine taking any bottle
Not all bottles are created equally. Many parents experience anxiety when it seems their infant rejects all bottles, which is especially nerve wracking if a breastfeeding mom is preparing to return to work. However, it's often a matter of giving the baby some time to warm up to the new feeding method, says Katie Ferraro, a registered dietician, infant feeding specialist and associate professor of nutrition at the University of California San Francisco graduate School of Nursing.

"For mothers returning to work, if you're breastfeeding but trying to transition to bottle[s], try to give yourself a two- to four-week trial window to experiment with bottle feeding," says Ferraro.
2. Myth: You either use breast milk or formula
So often, the question of whether a parent is using formula or breastfeeding is presented exclusively as one or the other. In reality, many babies are combo-fed-meaning they have formula sometimes, breast milk other times.

The advantage with mixed feeding is the babies still get the benefits of breast milk while parents can ensure the overall nutritional and caloric needs are met through formula, says Ferraro.
3. Myth: Cleaning bottles is a lot of work
For parents looking for simplification in their lives (meaning, all of us), cleaning bottles day after day can sound daunting. But, really, it doesn't require much more effort than you are already used to doing with the dishes each night: With bottles that are safe for the top rack of the dishwasher, cleaning them is as easy as letting the machine work for you.

For added confidence in the sanitization, Dr. Brown's offers an incredibly helpful microwavable steam sterilizer that effectively kills all household bacteria on up to four bottles at a time. (Not to mention it can also be used on pacifiers, sippy cups and more.)
4. Myth: Bottle-feeding causes colic
One of the leading theories on what causes colic is indigestion, which can be caused by baby getting air bubbles while bottle feeding. However, Dr. Brown's bottles are the only bottles in the market that are actually clinically proven to reduce colic thanks to an ingenious internal vent system that eliminates negative pressure and air bubbles.
5. Myth: Bottles are all you can use for the first year
By the time your baby is six months old (way to go!), they may be ready to begin using a sippy cup. Explains Ferraro, "Even though they don't need water or additional liquids at this point, it is a feeding milestone that helps promote independent eating and even speech development."

With a complete line of products to see you from newborn feeding to solo sippy cups, Dr. Brown's does its part to make these new transitions less daunting. And, for new parents, that truly is priceless.
This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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24 reasons children act out-and how to respond

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When you become a parent for the first time, there is an undeniably steep learning curve. Add to that the struggle of sorting through fact and fiction when it comes to advice and- whew -it's enough to make you more tired than you already are with that newborn in the house.

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Nurturing Good Listeners, Improving Listening Comprehension

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Nurturing Good Listeners, Improving Listening Comprehension

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By answering this question we'll find understanding of the validity and importance of listening comprehension skills, as well as, what it actually is and what you can do to improve it.

What is Listening Comprehension?

Listening comprehension is more than just hearing what is said. It's a child's ability to understand the meaning of the words he hears and to relate to them in some way. When children hear a story, good listening comprehension enables them to understand it, remember it, discuss it and even retell it in their own words.

This is an important skill to develop even at an early age because good listeners grow up to become good communicators, according to All About Learning Press.

As a quick side note, WorksheetCloud has listening comprehension activities. So if your child is struggling with listening, then consider giving WorksheetCloud a try.

What are we actually doing when we listen?

We are drawing on three different processes:

Hearing - We need to remember that hearing doesn't mean listening, it's just a physical act of receiving sound stimulation and sending it to the brain for reception.

Listening - Is tuning into a sound, recognizing its importance and interpreting the information in the brain.

Attention - Children may be able to hear and listen to sounds and voices, but they also need to be able to do this for a sustained period of time.

The negative impact of poor listening and attention skills

Poor sound awareness - Children may find it difficult to discriminate between various sounds.

Difficulty with reading and phonological awareness.

A negative impact on a child's play and socializing.

A delay in language and communication development.

Ways can we support listening comprehension skills

We, as parents, have realized there is so much going on in one simple sentence. It comes as no surprise that our children struggle to listen as we are asking them to take part in a complex process. A process which is often hampered by factors negatively affecting their stage of development - be it emotional, cognitive or social.

By understanding the three processes mentioned above and our child's developmental stages, we will be able to help them better develop their skills.

Ideas to help nurture good listeners

Ask your child to repeat what you have said, for example, after giving an instruction.

Practice following instructions in the form of a game.

Read stories - let your child predict the ending, retell the best part (make the story interactive).

Audio stories - listen to the stories together with your child or as a family.

Add-on stories - this can be done in a group where each person adds onto the story every 4 or 5 sentences.

Identify sounds - play or make sounds while your child's eyes are closed and they must try to identify them.

Play follow the leader - play games, for example, like Simon Says.

Copycat - play games like broken telephone, clapping a pattern or repeating silly made-up rhymes.

Subscribe to WorksheetCloud - let your child practice their listening skills with our audio worksheets.

What it means to be a good listener

Stop talking.

Prepare yourself for listening.

Focus on what is being said.

Listen to ideas not just words.

Wait and watch for non-verbal communication.

Maintain eye contact wherever possible.

Listen to the words and try to picture what the speaker is saying.

The importance of good listening comprehension skills

Children with listening comprehension difficulties face serious learning challenges and are much more likely to fall behind their peers as they progress through school (Field, 2001; Mendelsohn & Rubin, 1995; Schwarts, 1998). Sounds are all around us. The ability to detect sounds is hearing but the ability to attach meaning to them is listening. This is the foundation for development.

I'd like to conclude using the words of Eleanor Johnson, "Listening is a crucial skill for young children to acquire. Listening is one of the basic building blocks of language and communication and particularly in the early years of education, one of the main vehicles for a child's learning."

Remember, WorksheetCloud has some fantastic listening comprehension activities. Try it out if your child needs help.

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9 Ideas to Improve Your Child's Listening Skills

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By answering this question we'll find understanding of the validity and importance of listening comprehension skills, as well as, what it actually is and what you can do to improve it. Listening comprehension is more than just hearing what is said.

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Having a hard time getting your children to follow directions? Me too. So my friends and I decided to try our own group therapy. Don't laugh-it works!

A few months ago I crashed headfirst into my most frustrating parenting problem to date: My daughters were ignoring me. I could tell them five times to do anything -- get dressed, turn off the TV, brush their teeth -- and they either didn't hear me or didn't listen. So I'd tell them five more times, louder and louder. It seemed the only way I could inspire Blair, 6, and Drew, 4, to action was if I yelled like one of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and then threatened to throw their blankies away.

This was not the kind of parent I wanted to be. But their inability to obey or even acknowledge my husband, Thad, and me made us feel powerless. While walking through Target one Saturday, I heard no fewer than five parents say some variation of, "If you don't start listening, we're walking out of this store right now!"

I recognized that at least part of the problem was me. After much lamenting about my lame parenting skills, I got lucky: A friend's mom mentioned what she calls "the Bible" on the subject: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. When I checked it out at fabermazlish.com, I saw that there's an accompanying DIY workshop for $130 (both were updated last year in honor of the book's 30th anniversary). Granted, the authors are moms, not child psychologists or toddler whisperers. But the book was a national best-seller, and parents continue to host workshops using the authors' ideas.

To see if their advice still held up, I wrangled four equally desperate mom buddies and ordered the workshop. I got two CDs and a guide with directions for leading the group. We met every Tuesday night in my living room for seven weeks, spending much of our 90-minute sessions talking about our struggles with listening-challenged kids as if we were in a 12-step program. We followed along as actors played out scenarios on the CD, did some role-playing of our own, and completed weekly homework assignments, such as reading parts of How to Talk and Liberated Parents, Liberated Children, by the same authors, and then applying our new communication skills. Not all of Faber and Mazlish's advice rang true for us. Their suggestion to post a to-do list on the fridge so we wouldn't have to keep reminding our kids of their responsibilities, for instance, didn't pan out (especially because I had to keep reminding my girls to look at the note!). But other tips truly got our kids to start paying attention -- and, better yet, got us to stop screaming at them. Carrie, the mom of a 6-year-old, summed up our collective reaction by the end: "This really works!"

Say it With a Single Word

The situation My daughters have only one assigned chore: to carry their plates to the sink when they're done eating. Still, not a night went by when I didn't need to tell them to do it, sometimes three times. Even that didn't guarantee they would -- and who would finally clear them? Take a guess.

Empower Your Kid

Provide Information

The situation My friend Michele had just served lunch when, as was her habit, 2-year-old Everly jumped off her chair, climbed back on, turned around, stood up, and then stomped on the cushion.

The better way State the facts instead of always issuing commands. "Who doesn't rebel against constant orders?" asks Faber. (I know I do.) Kids aren't robots programmed to do our bidding. They need to exercise their free will, which is why they often do exactly the opposite of what we ask them to. The trick is to turn your directive into a teaching moment. So instead of, "Put that milk away," you might simply say: "Milk spoils when it's left out." This approach says to a child, "I know that when you have all the information, you'll do the right thing,'" Faber explains.

Give Your Child a Choice

The situation Three days after our final session, Joan took her kids to Orlando. At the Magic Kingdom, she handed them hats to shield the sun. Her 6-year-old put hers on willingly. Her almost-5-year-old, Sam, refused.

State Your Expectations

The situation Amy let her kids turn on the TV before they left for school. After one show was over, she'd take Adrian, 4, to get dressed while Angela, 7, kept watching. But when it was Angela's turn to get ready, she'd whine, "Just ten more minutes. Please? Pleeeeeeeaaase!"

Name Their Feelings

The situation Carrie's daughter Tatum, 6, was happily blowing bubbles with a friend. Suddenly, Tatum stormed into the room, wailing, "Mina's not giving me a turn."

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5 Empowering Ways to Get Your Kids to Listen

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Having a hard time getting your children to follow directions? Me too. So my friends and I decided to try our own group therapy. Don't laugh-it works! A few months ago I crashed headfirst into my most frustrating parenting problem to date: My daughters were ignoring me.

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Following Directions

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I'm a pediatrician, so getting kids to follow directions is a big part of my job. Here are my top six strategies.

1. Grab his attention.

Just as kids often demand your undivided attention before they do a handstand in the pool or knock over a tower of blocks, you need to command your child's focus if you expect him to listen. If your son doesn't brush his teeth after you've told him to five times, it's possible he didn't even realize you were talking to him. (Hey, those toy dinosaurs are pretty engrossing.) In fact, research shows that the likelihood of a child's cooperating depends on what he's doing when his parent makes a request. Before I begin a physical exam, I always make sure that my patient isn't busy with a toy or a game, make eye contact, and then speak directly to him, no matter how old he is. You can use the same strategy at bedtime. Look your child in the eye and give him a warm-up direction: "It's getting close to bedtime." Once he makes eye contact, quickly follow up with instructions: "It's time to brush your teeth. Let's head to the bathroom."

2. Clown around.

Toddlers always surrender to a parent, or their doctor, when she's acting ridiculous. Karen Carson, M.D., a pediatrician in Roswell, New Mexico turns the physical exam into a silly scavenger hunt: "I tell kids that I see Elmo, Dory, or Spider-Man in their ear. I continue with monkeys in the mouth and elephants in the tummy. When I'm in a hurry, my patients often get mad if I don't see something!" You can use Dr. Carson's trick in all sorts of scenarios, whether you're changing your 1-year-old's diaper or putting bug spray on a 5-year-old who is desperate to run off and play. Look for characters, sing, tell a story, or make funny noises as you wipe your child's bottom or apply lotion.

3. Don't ask-tell.

Back in medical school, I thought it was respectful to ask preschoolers to hop up onto the exam table-and was genuinely surprised by how many didn't comply. Eventually, I realized that unlike adults, children simply don't understand that a polite question actually means "Do this!" So these days I rely on cheerful statements-"Climb up on the exam table," "Open your mouth," "Turn toward me"-and my patients are generally happy to do what I say. Science has my back: A study of 3- to 7-year-olds showed that suggestions like "Can you put your shoes on?" fail to elicit the same results as clear directives like "Put your shoes on." Research also shows that kids don't fully understand sarcasm or irony until they are around age 10, so using those to get good behavior isn't likely to work either.

You can learn from the way your child communicates as well. Pay attention to the words she uses to ask a friend to do something, and compare them to how you might have expressed the same request. Then try using her exact words the next time you want her to clean up her room or put on her coat or sit down and eat her dinner. If that doesn't work, consider whether you need to dial down your own vocabulary. When I say I'm going to use my otoscope, some kids look shocked as I place it in their ear. On the other hand, if I call it an "ear looker," they quickly turn their head to the side to assist me. Speak in simple phrases or say the same thing two different ways; your child will understand you better and might even learn a new word!

4. Be patient.

Kids are most likely to cooperate if they don't feel rushed, yet studies show that parents often don't give kids enough time to respond to directions. Children don't switch tasks easily or quickly. If you're tired of repeating yourself, you may just need to give your child more time to respond. You'll be surprised by how often most kids will do as you say, eventually.

Going slow is how Kristina Robert, a pediatric E.R. nurse at Johns Hopkins Hospital, in Baltimore, gets kids to take even the foulest medicine. "If a child resists, I'll administer it one drop at a time," she says. "A child can't spit out just one drop." Plus, it's more efficient to be slow and successful than to have to start over after a patient rejects a full dose. As for me, I never dive right in and listen to an apprehensive toddler 's heartbeat or examine her injured knee. I start by using my stethoscope on her foot and work my way up to her chest, or I inspect her good knee first. Just like any of us, kids want to know what to expect, so if your child is dodging the hairbrush, you could start by using it gently on her arm or her belly. Of course, when you're in a rush, it's helpful to have another trick up your sleeve. Getting my own kids to walk from the elevator to the dentist's office used to take an eternity, but now we play "Red light, green light," a game that gives me total control over their pace.

5. Offer your kid a choice.

Kathleen Romero, M.D., a pediatrician at Sinai Hospital, in Baltimore, lets her patients decide which ear they want her to look into first. The strategy also works with her 18-month-old son, Carter. "I'll say, 'Do you want to walk to the car, or do you want me to carry you?' Choices work great as long as both options end in what you want your child to do," she says. And if he refuses to pick, that's your cue to say, "Then Mommy or Daddy will pick for you."

When you can't give your child an option, it helps to explain your thinking. For example, if your toddler doesn't understand why she can't touch the stove, tell her, "Don't touch! Ouchy!" rather than simply, "No." Your reasoning is most important for older kids to hear because they can actually be swayed by logic. Case in point: My patients and my own children are more willing to put on their sunscreen when I explain that we have to block cancer-causing ultraviolet rays from the sun. Encourage your kids to share their own thought processes too; it'll help them learn to negotiate, which is a critical social skill. Let's say your son wants to skip his piano practicing tonight. Instead of refusing his request outright, let him tell you his rationale. It's okay to give him a pass if he provides a good argument, like wanting to spend time with the family and promising to practice extra later in the week. Just don't relent if he begs and collapses to the floor in tears to get his way-that's not a negotiation tactic you want to reward.

6. Find something to praise.

Even if a child bites my tongue depressor during her throat culture, I'll finish the appointment by commenting on what a great job she did with, say, the ear exam. Pointing out success gives my patients confidence and pride, especially when they are nervous. When kids feel good about what they've done, they want to do more of it.

The key is to keep your praise specific to a task. After dinner you might say, "I noticed you put your dish in the sink right after we finished. I'm proud of you for helping without being asked," rather than, "You're such a great helper." There's no doubt that kids enjoy meeting their parents' expectations. I'll never forget the giant toothless grin my 7-year-old son used to flash after he picked up his toys. He was beyond proud-even if all he did was shove his stuff under the bed.

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6 Pediatrician-Recommended Tips for Getting Kids to Cooperate

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I'm a pediatrician, so getting kids to follow directions is a big part of my job. Here are my top six strategies. Just as kids often demand your undivided attention before they do a handstand in the pool or knock over a tower of blocks, you need to command your child's focus if you expect him to listen.