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NUR RIZKA SYAMINA BINTI MOHD SAHRYMAN_2022827824_LG2431B_REFLECTION E-PORTFOLIO (1)

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By Dr Pola Singh and Sarjit Kaur | EXPERIENCE | MALAYSIA |

21 September 2019. This day marked a symbolic beginning for my niece, Shareen Kaur Kuldip, who tied the knot to Alvin Raj Singh Gill after a courtship of eight years. Our family and friends witnessed a beautiful wedding unfold, embedded in vibrant and colourful Punjabi culture and traditions.

Our sister, Iswander Kaur, was well-prepared for this final wedding as she was ably assisted by the bride-to-be who assumed an active role looking into every detail and ensuring wedding preparations went on smoothly. Iswander's two elder daughters and spouses also contributed actively, lending their own wedding experience.

As the wedding date neared, invitations to family members and close relatives were sent out personally. In keeping with the Sikh tradition, my sister and her husband, Kuldip tirelessly travelled to relatives and friends' homes to deliver the invitations by hand.

A build-up of excitement grew among family members, as we counted down to the big day. Briefings were held at family gatherings to remind members on the programme flow and roles. Family members began practising and sharpening their dance steps for the wedding.

The day finally arrived in September. The first morning ceremony on Day 1 began with the maiyan (cleansing ceremony) whereby family and close relatives would massage the bride-to-be with oil, yoghurt and turmeric on her face, arms, hands and feet, believed to give her the glow on her special day.

The bride-to-be then fed single ladies with mitay chole (sweetened yellow rice) supposedly to pass some bridal charm, as it is believed that they will be next in line to tie the knot. This was followed by the mehendi (applying of henna) on her palms, hands and feet. Cultural norms believe that the darker the shade of her henna, the stronger the love and bond with her mother-in-law.

On the eve of wedding, the sangeet event commenced. It was a night of feast, music and dance. The pulsating beat of the dhol (Punjabi drum) filled the air and soon enough, everyone was tapping their feet. Invited guests from all cultures and background took to the dance floor, swaying to the rhythm of the bhangra music. Family members were giddy with joy and excitement as they participated in various ceremonies which included the choora involving maternal uncles putting wedding bangles on the bride by dipping them in milk first. Also the jaago which literally means wake-up, involves carrying of oil candles on a pot placed on one's head. Centuries ago, when there was no electricity, this was the practice the night before in the village by relatives of the bride or groom, accompanied by folk singing and dancing as a form of open invitation to the wedding.

The bride's colleagues and her netball squad wowed the audience with their sharp and energetic bhangra moves and colourful attires during the sangeet. They had diligently practised for the last two months for their dance performance. It was beautiful to see fellow Malaysians of various races coming together in unison in this dance and wedding.

On Day 2, the groom's entourage from Port Dickson arrived in Malacca and was greeted by the bride's family in a symbolic ceremony at the Malacca Gurdwara. Alvin was resplendent in his peach turban and matching sherwani and looked like a Maharaja.

Shareen looked elegant and regal in her fushia and peach lehenga suit. All eyes were on this stunning and radiant bride, as she walked the aisle leading to the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh scripture) and bowed. The jovial priest was able to engage and make everyone present, feel at home by explaining the significance of the ceremony and making reference to our universal Creator.

The ceremony began with the Anand Karaj (Sikh wedding ceremony) with the main part involving reading and then singing of the Lavan (four hyms of Anand Karaj). When sung, the couple joined and held together by a piece of fushia cloth, circled the Guru Granth Sahib for their nuptial rounds. After the fourth round, it officially marked the union of the couple as man and wife.

As the couple completed the Lavan, there was a priceless look on the newly-weds' faces as they acknowledged and honoured each other. It was a moving moment for the bride's parents, as Shareen leaves her childhood nest and moves to a new family pasture.

Sweet ladoos were given to attendees at the gurdwara by Iswander's elder sisters. The groom's entourage, family and relatives of the bride then headed to a lunch reception at the hotel. After lunch, they returned to the bride's house and the final event of the day was the doli ceremony marking the bride's departure from her parents' home.

It was another emotional point as my sister and the bride hugged each other tightly and tears flowed. Our relatives were equally moved as the occasion signified that my niece now has a new family base. Nonetheless, the bride's parents also now have a beloved son and assurance that their daughter is in good hands.

Before the wedding car departed from the bride's house, the bride's mum poured bandung onto the tyres of the car to signify a delightful journey. The groom's dad tossed coins in the air and around the vicinity, to wish the couple prosperity in their future life.

Shareen's parents had full ownership of the wedding and my sister's motherly touch made all the difference. I marvel at their dedication and perseverance. The execution of their plan with the support of their children, son-in-laws and family was clock-work and immaculate!

The auspicious occasion not only symbolised the start of a new life together for the newly-weds, it also nurtured a strong camaraderie among relatives of the Malacca bride and groom based in Port Dickson.

All 10 siblings of the Tara Singh family (including me & Sarjit) were there in full force to support and make the wedding a memorable occasion as we bonded, laughed and teared in the process.

The wedding remains a conversation piece within our family WhatsApp group, as we view pictures compiled by different members and read the wedding story board prepared by Shareen. Lovely memories remain etched in our minds. It has been two months and we are still intoxicated from the precious and magical moments. It was truly an unforgettable wedding.
Note: Sarjit is my youngest sibling - she assisted me greatly in writing this article. Thank you. Photo credits: Awesome Studios

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By Dr Pola Singh and Sarjit Kaur | EXPERIENCE | MALAYSIA | 21 September 2019. This day marked a symbolic beginning for my niece, Shareen Kaur Kuldip, who tied the knot to Alvin Raj Singh Gill after a courtship of eight years.

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The bride-to-be is formally introduced to the groom's family and friends at the reception ceremony, which is hosted by the groom's family. With the participation of the guests who weren't invited to the wedding, this is frequently a formal celebration.

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The Doli Di Vaddai ritual, which concludes the day's events, will take place once the newlyweds have returned to the bride's home. The bride leaves her parents' house at this ceremony. Before leaving, the groom's father throws coins into the air to wish the couple a happy future, while the bride's mother pours bandung upon the tyres to represent a beautiful journey.

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The Anand Karaj (a Sikh wedding ceremony) was performed first, with the Lavan being read and subsequently sung as its centrepiece (four hyms of Anand Karaj). When the song began, the couple circled the Guru Granth Sahib for their wedding rounds while being kept together by a piece of fuschia cloth. After the fourth round, the couple's relationship as husband and wife became legally recognised.

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Milni ceremony is basically a merge of two families. It is where both bride and groom's father will meet each other. Then, they will exchange garlands and embrace one another.

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Usually, the Anand Karaj, also known as the Sikh wedding ceremony, is held on Saturday at the local Gurdwara, a place of worship for Sikhs. The ceremony will begin when the groom, accompanied by family, friends and his sarbala (best man), makes his way to the Gurdwara.

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Morning

Anand Karaj (Wedding Ceremony)

Milni Ceremony

Lavan Ceremony

Doli Di Vaddai

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There is no major event or celebration on this day after the Musical Night (sangeet ceremony). This day is reserved for the bride and their family to rest for their wedding ceremony the next day.

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Both the bride's and the groom's homes will host the Jaago ceremony. During this event, the bride's maternal aunt is expected to hold diyas on her head while the families stay up all night singing Punjabi wedding songs. To celebrate the upcoming wedding day, there is a lot of singing and dancing that goes on all night long without anyone getting any sleep.

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The bride received a red and white traditional wedding choora from her uncles (bangles). The bride would next be given her bridal bangles, which had been dipped in milk.

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The sangeet celebration starts at night. Before the marriage ritual is carried out, there is a night of feasting and bhangra music accompanied by the dhol (Punjabi drum), which is regarded as the best night in Punjabi weddings.

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ANISHA WEDDING BOLLYWOOD Performance |Ghagra, Khwab Dekhe, Chikni Chameli, Sharara,Tip Tip, Sheila

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The next step was to apply henna (mehendi) to her hands, feet, and palms. According to cultural conventions, the closer the woman is to her mother-in-law, the darker the henna's hue.

Mehndi artists are invited to the bride's home for the mehndi ritual, where they apply henna to the bride's hands, feet, and palms in addition to applying mehndi to the female family members. As part of this custom, the groom also gets mehndi applied. The bride's mehndi arrives gorgeously decorated in a trousseau that her mother-in-law sent. Frequently, the mehndi ceremony also transitions into a cocktail party.

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Morning:

The maiyan (Cleansing ceremony)

Mehendi (Henna ceremony)

Evening:

Sangeet Ceremony

Choora Ceremony

Jaago Ceremony

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The maiyan (cleaning ritual) was the first morning ceremony on Day 1, during which the bride-to-face, be's arms, hands, and feet were massaged with oil, yoghurt, and turmeric in an effort to give her a glowing complexion on her wedding day.

The bride-to-be then served unmarried women mitay chole (sweetened yellow rice), ostensibly to bestow a bridal charm because it is thought that they will be the next couple to get married.

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Punjabi Wedding Malaysia | Kareshma & Kiret

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Punjabi wedding is usually held at least three to four days, often from Thursday to Sunday.

This is because the wedding generally consist of four main formalities.

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“I hope that Malaysians, even when they are not familiar with the term Orang Asli, can try to understand each other and get to know each other. Do not easily label people. With the change in mindset, Malaysia can have more diversity. Otherwise, we could lose one of our treasures, because an Orang As…

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After the ceremony, they will do a dance known as Tarian sewang in the hall or provided places.

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Tarian Sewang Orang  Asli Suku Kaum Temuan

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Both the bride and the groom's teeth were sharpened to start the ceremony in order to ward off bad luck. This is crucial to prevent issues from arising both while you're single and after getting married. Sharpening teeth is also a way for a pair to demonstrate their maturity and capacity for accountability. The Berinai ritual must be performed by the bridal pair. Henna leaves will be crushed and applied to the fingers of the bride and the groom. The Berinai ceremony typically lasts till the following morning. The morning dance will be held concurrently with the dancing. Wedding arches made of palm leaves or rumbia leaf braid, with wood pillars shaped like miniature houses.

The bride will be accessorised with a variety of handmade items. The bride's accessories include a bracelet and a necklace made of multicoloured beads. Then, to further adorn the couple, leaves were used to create head circumferences. Both representatives supplied great food on the day of the persandingan. All of the guests were then given food to eat throughout the ceremony. The ritual was concluded by giving the pair a bath as a sign that they were already husband and wife.

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The son-in-law can proceed to Merisik after receiving the go-ahead from the future father-in-law. Here, the boy and girl's parents will talk about their upcoming wedding and secure their approval. Once they have permission, they will meet Tuk Penghulu and inquire about the nuptials. If they want a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage, they must obtain Tuk Penghulu's blessing (restu), who will serve as the wedding's leader. Additionally, they will receive advice and direction from Tuk Penghulu. Usually the engagement will last from seven months to a year after the date of the engagement.

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The future son-in-law must wait for the father-in-approval law's by persuading him by performing all of the everyday tasks. In this situation, the son-in-law must perform everyday tasks like gardening, fishing, and other tasks to demonstrate that he can be a good leader and support the family in the future. Adat Menunggu, or the Waiting Stage, is what we refer to at this point.

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Many Orang Asli get married when they're still young. The ideal age for getting married for guys is 18 years old. when women reached the age of 16 and cannot be older than men. Marriage is performed by the parents of the future bride, and the ritual lasts until a couple is declared to be lawfully wed. There are also young adults who were married among the Orang Asli. Men and women typically have links like brothers, cousins, or second cousins that belong to the same ethnic groupings. If the prospective groom marries a woman from another tribe, it is not illegal. However, the wife must join the ethnic groupings of the husband.

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Upacara Nikah dan kahwin Orang Asli Temuan di Bukit Putus( Temuan Wedding Ceremony)

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There are 3 customs in Orang Asli's wedding:

1)  Waiting stage (adat menunggu)
2) Merisik (Engagement)
3) Marriage

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Not so long ago, the Kadazans arranged marriages, and weddings were a simple affair. Gundohing Dousia, the present Keeper of Skulls and 6th direct descendant of Monsopiad remembers well the olden times. To us 'modernised' citizens, an arranged marriage is maybe the most curious, and perhaps the least understood aspect of the life of so many peoples around the world. Concerning the Kadazans, Dousia explains that "in the olden days, the children had great respect towards their parents, so they would accept their choice. More, they did not have the money, or the dowry required to get married. They were completely dependent on their parents. If someone wished to get married to the partner of his choice, but his parents would not approve, how was he to come up with required dowry?" Thus, the preliminaries to a Kadazan wedding always started with the parents of a young man visiting the family of a prospective bride. The father of the young man would open the talks along these lines: "I have a strong and good son who needs a wife, and I see that you have nice daughters. I would like you to marry one of your daughters to my son." The parents of the girl were then left to consider. They might visit the family proposing to get a better picture of their future son-in-law, and, more importantly, they would see if the family was able to come up with the required nopung, the dowry (literally: the [items] sent).

When the family of the daughter shows that they are agreeable to a union, the parents of the young man pay them a second visit and the engagement is arranged. Both parties agree to the bride price, which customarily consists of 15 buffaloes, 10 ancient brass canons, 3 large, Chinese jars and one brass gong. The parents of the future bride will first ask for a higher price, and bargaining is expected. As a matter of fact, if the proposed dowry is accepted without negotiations, the family of the young man might be considered snob; and if there is too much bargaining, the family of the bride-to-be might start worrying about payment! When both parties agree on the nopung, they need to agree on the 'terms of payment', and it can be agreed that the dowry is paid in instalments over a certain period of time, or that some of the items are substituted with money. "Traditionally," Dousia explains, "a buffalo was counted ten Ringgits, and a canon 15 Ringgits. But that was a long time ago," he muses, "nowadays, ten Ringgits are at least 500! And while jars, buffaloes and canons can be substituted with money, at least two buffaloes must not be converted into cash money; they are needed for the wedding feast," he added.

Once the nopung is agreed upon and all terms of payment settled, a date for the actual wedding day is chosen. It must be an auspicious day, whereby the moon calendar plays an important role. Any month is good for a wedding, except March when the cemeteries are being cleaned and ancestors remembered, and the fasting month of the Malays. The Kadazans have always been in contact with the Malay populations along the coast, and being friends, they would not suffer them to be excluded them from the weddings of their children. When all the details for the wedding are settled, from bride price to date, food will be served. In the evening the parents of the man go home, and on their journey they will look out for omens. If the either of the parents falls ill right after eating, or a branch falls from a tree, amongst others, the date for the wedding has to be cancelled. New negotiations have to be entered to schedule a fresh date for an auspicious wedding day.

If no bad omens are encountered, and the parents reach home without further incident, the wedding is usually held about a month after the engagement. In most cases, neither bride nor groom know each other more than from meeting in the market, or in the fields working, if at all.

About a week before the wedding, two friends or relatives of the families go around and invite people to the nuptials. The wedding day starts early in the morning in the house of the groom where all friends and relatives gather. They have a late 'breakfast', and generally around midday they set out, with the groom in his best fineries and the nopung in their middle, for the house of the bride. More often than not, the parents of the groom will stay in their house. When the congregation approaches the house of the bride, joyous Sumazau beats will be sound on ancient gongs. The groom and his entourage enter the house of the bride, presenting the nopung. Everyone is served rice and drinks before the young husband can take his bride to his parents' home. This time, the parents of the bride might stay at their home, and not join the wedding ceremony proper, held at the young man's house.

When the congregation arrives at the house of the groom, gongs are sounded again, inviting everybody who hears them to witness the union. Before the wedding couple enters the house, a village elder, often a Bobohizan, a ritual specialist, asks the bride and groom to put one foot on a round stone at the bottom of the staircase. While the couple is standing there, siung, conical hats are held above the man and the lady. Both the stone and the hat are symbols for their marriage: it shall be strong and long-lasting, like stone, while the hats at a time purify them from all evil and shield evil that might be around on the wedding day. Only after this short ceremony, during which the ritual specialist speaks a few Kadazan charms, the couple and the congregation can enter the house.

The wedding couple is seated in the centre of the house, the bride to the left of the groom, and again rice will be served. This time, the rice must be served from a kuali, or a wok, in order that there will be always enough rice for the couple to eat. Bride and groom are given a ball of rice each, which they have to feed each other. The ball of rice symbolises that the two young people are of different blood, which is now to be unified. Only after this symbolic unification can the congregation be served from the communal kuali. Bride and groom are given a chicken drumstick, as the groom cannot eat from the buffaloes slaughtered for the feast. It would be improper for the groom to eat from his own present to the bride's family! Moreover, if he should eat from the buffaloes, the couple might not be able to have children.

It is now time for eating. Relatives of both partners have joined in the preparations of the feast, because many guest are expected, the house is open to all. The guest are not required to bring any presents, but they must join the Sumazau dancing and general merry making, which includes drinking - during a wedding, rice-wine flows liberally... Before nightfall, the freshly married couple heads back to the house of the bride's parents where a room has been prepared for them. The custom requires that the newlyweds spend their first night with the parents-in-law of the groom. There are many taboos to be observed on this first night. The couple must not bathe for they would become vulnerable to evil-intended attacks, and wash away all the good luck the visitors brought! Equally, the couple is not allowed wander outside, not even to set foot on soil for that first night; or the children born to the couple would be ill with skin diseases or walk away from home.

The next day, the young husband takes his bride to his parents' home, where they will stay until the young man has built his own house for him and his wife. Traditionally three months after the wedding the young man visits his parents-in-law, bringing with him a pig. It will be slaughtered ceremonially and eaten by the whole family, signifying that they are from now on blood-relatives.

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Not so long ago, the Kadazans arranged marriages, and weddings were a simple affair. Gundohing Dousia, the present Keeper of Skulls and 6th direct descendant of Monsopiad remembers well the olden times. To us 'modernised' citizens, an arranged marriage is maybe the most curious, and perhaps the least understood aspect of the life of so many peoples around the world.

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It is an ancient ceremony. The Kadazandusuns of Sabah perform their wedding ceremonies in a manner known as "miohon pinisi." Miohon is the Japanese word for exchange, while pinisi is a small piece of cooked rice.

The bridal pair entered the miohon pinisi ceremony gently as they were dressed in their finest Kadazan clothes. A priest or bobohizan (a ritual specialist) greeted them as they neared the stage. In order for the marriage to metaphorically take on the power of a rock, the bobohizan instructed the couple to step on a stone. The bobohizan then simultaneously wrapped the couple's bodies in two "siungs," or traditional Kadazan conical hats, from their heads to their legs. The bobohizan sang a prayer in this process that was thought to ward off evil spirits from harming the union's future.

After that portion of the ceremony was through, the couple was led on stage, where they took seats on a matted floor and were surrounded by their family members who had also joined them there. A small wok of chicken soup, a bottle of rice wine, and a coconut-rimmed bowl of rice were set in front of the couple seated. The couple moulded rice into lumps with their hands and patiently gave them to one another. Then came the gulping of chicken soup and the drinking of wine. The ceremony's meaning and symbolism were captured in the song "Piahanan Pinisi," an old Kadazan song written by well-known local singer Wilfred Mojilis, as the family members sung it.

The newlyweds served the rice wine to people on stage toward the end of the ceremony in bamboo cups they each took. The pair did the Sumazau dance to signify the conclusion of the ceremony, joined by their loved ones as they danced to the sound of gongs. This dance, known as the "Mingkuung," denotes that the pair was legally wed with the help of their friends and family, who took it upon themselves to keep the couple in their social circle.

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Iban Wedding

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The Courtship

The Iban marriage, it is customary for the boy's parents to make a proposal on behalf of his son to the girl they are interested to have as their daughter-in-law. However, should their son insist on marrying a girl of his choice this will be accepted with open arms by his parents.

Basically if an Iban boy is interested in a particular girl, he is to take the initiative to ngayap (court) the girl. It is the only way for him to find out whether of not the girl is the right one for his life time partner.

If the response of the girl is positive and there is no objection by the girl's parents, the young man will tell his parents his intention to marry the girl. If there are disagreements between son and parents, these are discussed in a proper manner.

The boy is asked to stop visiting the girl and another girl who is related but not within the incestuous circle is recommended to the boy to visit (ngayap).

The Proposal

When the boy's parents agree in the suitability of the girl, they will send a message confidentially, bebunga ka jaku (literally to reveal a desire or intention) or beribut ka jaku (literally to bring wind news) through a messenger who is normally a relative, and who is closely associated with the parents. This is to avoid embarrassment to both parties, in case the proposal is rejected, if brought to the open right away.

Once there is an indication of favourable response from the girl, the boy's family will bring a delegation to propose to the girl (nanya indu) openly. The delegation normally comprises three, five or seven elderly persons, female members being more than male.

During the nanya indu discussion, the tusut (genealogy) is examined to determine the kinship relationship of the boy and the girl. This is to ensure that they are not within the ioncestuous circle of relationship or of different generation salah tangga considered taboo by their adat (custom).

The Engagement and Gift

When the issues of nguai or ngugi and the preparation for melah pinang are finalized, the parties exchange gifts. The gifts can be in the form of any articles of reasonable values, for e.g. lampik pirak (silver girdle), baku temaga (brass container) and so on. Nowadays it is common for the couple to exchange rings.

There is no fixed length of period of engagement. In most cases Iban prefer to have shorter engagement of one of two months. No penalty is involved if the engagement is dissolved by mutual consent. However, each of them is required to return the engagement gift.

The Bridewealth

Bridewealth (derian) and the bunga pinang attached to it varies from one area to another or according to the social status of the couple.

The Wedding Ceremony

A few weeks before the day of marriage ceremony (melah pinang) bothe the boy's and girl's families will prepare the food and the drink for the marriage celebration. They will extend invitation to the relatives and close friends. In the past this invitation was in the form of temuku tali (string knots). One knot indicated one day, so the number of knots in the string indicated the number of days before the wedding.

On the day of ceremony the bridegroom and his party go the bride's village. During the journey, by boat or over-land the bridegroom's party will beat the gong and drum (betabuh). The purpose of betabuh is to avoid hearing the cry of bad omen (jai burong). As they reach the vicinity of the village the party will take a rest. This is the time for them to dress themselves in traditional costumes.

After the dress themselves, they continue their journey to the village. As soon as the people in the bride's longhouse see their guest coming they will fire guns to welcome the guests.

The boy's party will return the gun salutes with equal number of gunshots. As soon as the gun salute is over, the bridegroom's party will proceed to the longhouse where they are invited to open a kuta (an artificial stockade).
When the kuta is opened the guest are led in a procession along the ruai (corridor). Tuak (rice win) is served at every ruai to the guest as they pass each ruai.

After the procession, the guest are invited to sit down, the men at the upper part of the ruai (gallery) and the women in the bilik (apartment).

The melah pinang ceremony begins with the session known as nanya ka berita (to enquire for news) initiated by the hosts for the guests to reply. The session can be a lengthy affair as both speakers from each side will give their best speeches mostly in classical Iban.

Later, both the bride's and the bridegroom's families introduce their relatives to each other. This is known in Iban as adat berisan. It involves each family introducing to each other their relatives, and who the in-laws of the couple are. When the serious business are done merry-making commences with a lot of food, drinks and entertainment as performances of traditional dances and pencha silat (art of self-defence). The merry-making can last till dawn.

The Blessing Ceremony

The next morning the bridegroom and the party take the bride back to his village. Dressed in traditional costumes she is accompanied by her parents and members of her longhouse to witness the bebiyau ceremony.

The bebiyau ceremony takes place in the evening at the bridegroom's longhouse. At the ceremony the couple, dressed in traditional costumes, are seated side by side on two tawak (brass gong). By their sides stand in attendance their bestman and bridesmaid - who are also dressed in traditional costumes. The lemambang (bard) performs the bebiyau ceremony by holding and waving the cock over their heads, reciting his prayer of blessing. As is always the case with Iban prayers the lemambang will end his prayer by saying "gayu guru, chelap lindap; gerai nyamai, lantang senang" ( along healthy, tranquil, 'cool', contented and comfortable life). The significance of this ceremony is to bless and to wish the couple a happy married life.

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Iban Wedding Iban Wedding? Please Vote! It'd be great to hear about your experience! Please let us know about activities, culture, hotels, etc. Click here to share your recommendations The Iban marriage, it is customary for the boy's parents to make a proposal on behalf of his son to the girl they are interested to have as their daughter-in-law.

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Display of some of the arrangement from the dowry

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Display of some of the arrangement from the dowry

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The bride price, which traditionally consists of 15 buffaloes, 10 antique brass canons, 3 huge Chinese jars, and 1 brass gong, is agreed upon by both sides. The prospective bride's parents will first want a greater fee, and haggling is expected. In fact, if the requested dowry is accepted without discussion, the young man's family may be viewed as snobby; if there is excessive negotiation, the bride-to-family be's may begin to worry about payment! When both parties agree on the nopung, they must also agree on the "terms of payment." For example, they may decide that the dowry will be paid in instalments over a specific length of time or that some of the items would be replaced with cash.

A date for the wedding day itself is selected once the nopung has been decided upon and all financial arrangements have been made. It must be a lucky day, with the lunar calendar being quite essential. Any month is suitable for a wedding, with the exception of March, the Malays' fasting month, when cemeteries are cleansed and ancestors remembered. The Malay communities around the coast have long been in contact with the Kadazans, and because they are close friends, they would never allow them to be excluded from their children's weddings.

After the the details are all settled, the young man's parents will go home. If the parents falls ill right after eating or encounter other bad omens on their journey home, the wedding date must be rescheduled. If not, the wedding will usually be held right after a month of the engagement. Meanwhile two relatives or friends from both families will start inviting people to the wedding.

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MOGONGOI - TRADISI PERKAHWINAN DUSUN TAMBUNAN SABAH

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A Kadazan wedding always began with the potential bride's family being visited by the prospective groom's parents. "I have a strong and good son who needs a wife, and I notice that you have wonderful girls," the young man's father might say to start the conversation. I want you to wed my son to one of your daughters. The decision was then left up to the girl's parents. They might go to the family they were considering marrying to learn more about their prospective son-in-law, but more significantly, they would check to see if the family could afford the necessary nopung, or dowry. Only when both family agreed and the young man come to visit for the second time did the engagement is arranged.

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The term "Punjabi" is used to refer to both Punjabi speakers and residents of the Punjab area of India and Pakistan. The number of Punjabis in Malaysia is roughly 90,000. As British political prisoners, they initially arrived in Malaysia in the 19th century. The British brought in a second wave to act as police officers for the British Straits Settlement communities and as night watchmen for businesses.

A small fraction of Malaysia's two million or so Indians are Punjabi. They have managed to maintain a distinct Punjabi/Sikh identity within Malaysian society, which distinguishes them from the Tamil and other Hindu Indian minorities. Since the Punjabi community is actually from Punjab and not West Bengal, Malaysians frequently mistakenly refer to them as Bengalis. Their Malaysian identification cards categorise them as Bengalis, which is how this myth got started. The majority of Malaysians consider the terms "Punjabi" and "Sikh" to be interchangeable. In truth, Hindus make up a much lower percentage of the Punjabi population than Muslims do. Muslims from Punjab share a common identity with Muslims from other parts of India and the majority of Malay. Hindustani and Muslim are terms used frequently by Punjabi Hindus and Indian Muslim.

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Estimated population: 150,000 (Centre for Orang Asli Concerns, 2003)

Ethnicity: Temiar, Semai, Lanoh, Semnan, Sabum, Kensiu, Batek, Kentaq Bong, Jehai, Medrique, Tonga, Temuan, Jakun, Orang Kanaq, Orang Selitar, etc.

First language/s: Aslian languages, Semelai, Temoq, etc.

Religion/s: Animism, Islam, Christianity

Approximately 18 ethnic groups totaling less than 150,000 people are collectively referred to as "Orang Asli," which means "original or first peoples" in Malay, and are commonly regarded as making up peninsular Malaysia's original occupants (in the sense that they pre-date the arrival of Malays). divided into the Negrito, Senoi, and Proto-Malay, three separate groups. While the Proto-ancestors Malay's spoke languages like Malay, which belonged to the Austronesian family of languages, the Temoq, Senoi, and Negrito speak similar languages called Aslian, which are members of the Mon-Khmer family. The Proto-Malay group resembles the Malays in appearance but has a different ancestry. They reside in southern Johor and along the Strait of Malacca. Some have embraced Islam and are assimilating into the Malay culture.

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The name Kadazan, also known as Dusun or Kadazan Dusun, refers to a variety of peoples who collectively make up the largest indigenous ethnic group in the Malaysian state of Sabah, which is located near the northeastern tip of the island of Borneo. The Kadazan are gathered in the hills surrounding Tambunan and along the coastal plain from Kudat to Beaufort. They communicate using the Austronesian language Kadazan, also known as Kadazandusun in some instances. The Kadazan historically resided in 150–200 person longhouses in sizable familial groups.

Additionally, Marriage within a descent group is typically prohibited in the patrilineal society of Kadazan.

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Both the boy's and the girl's families prepare the food and drink for the wedding celebration a few weeks before to the wedding ceremony (melah pinang). Family members and close acquaintances will also receive invitations. The previous version of this invitation was a temuku tali (string knots). The string's knot count served as a visual indicator of how many days were left until the wedding because each knot represented one day. If there are five knots on the rope, the wedding will take place within five days. The host or head of the home, who is in charge of opening the knot rope each day, will receive a special representative's delivery of the rope with the knot.

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The parties exchange gifts once the nguai or ngugi, which is a custom to determine which side will the couple want to live after the wedding ceremony are resolved and the melah pinang preparations are complete. The gifts may take the shape of any items with fair worth, such as lampik pirak (a silver girdle), baku temaga (a brass container), and so on. The practise of the couple exchanging rings is widespread today.

The duration of the engagement is flexible. Iban typically like shorter engagements of one or two months. Not to mention, except for her fiancé, the girl can no longer receive visits from unmarried men. The male delegates will inform relatives and neighbours of the engagement two or three days later.

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When the boy's parents is certain that the girl is suitable, they will send a secret message through a messenger who is typically a relative and someone who has a close relationship with the parents, known as bebunga ka jaku (literally, to reveal a desire or intention) or beribut ka jaku (literally, to bring wind news). This is done to prevent embarrassing situations for both parties if the proposal is turned down and brought up in the open immediately away.

The boy's family will send a delegation to openly propose to the girl (nanya indu) once there is a sign of favorability from the girl. The delegation often consists of three, five, or seven senior citizens, with more female members than male.

The tusut (genealogy) will be looked at during the nanya indu conversation to ascertain the familial link between the boy and the girl. This is done to make sure they do not belong to a virtuous circle of couples or come from generations that are barred from participating in salah tangga, according to their adat (custom).

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In an Iban marriage, it is typical for the boy's parents to propose to the girl they hope to have as their daughter-in-law on behalf of their son. However, if their son insists on getting married to the woman of his choosing, his parents will support him wholeheartedly in doing so. Both parties' meetings are also referred to as berbunga-bunga or berjarum-jarum. At that time, the terms of the marriage, including the gift and many others, will be decided. If the meeting's outcome was positive, the men's side family will send an entourage to propose to the girls.

If the boy and the parents have disputes, they are properly discussed. The boy is requested to quit seeing the female, and it is suggested that he instead see another girl who is linked to the first but not a part of the incestuous circle (ngayap).

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Amanda & Jonathan | Full Wedding Highlight

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The Dayak peoples of Borneo include the Ibans as a subgroup. Iban people are primarily found in Sarawak, Sabah, and west Malaysia in Malaysia. The British used to refer to them as Sea Dayaks during the colonial era. Ibans were known for engaging in headhunting and expanding their tribes' territory. The Ibans were a greatly feared tribe in Borneo long ago because they were a very powerful and successful warring tribe. They communicate using Iban language.

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When I started exploring Peranakan culture, I did not expect that there would be so many complicated layers to uncover. From its complex origin story to the slowly disappearing language, food and customs, there is so much to explore. Previously, I touched on the topic of a traditional Peranakan wedding. While having a 12-day wedding might seem extravagant, it was actually very common back in the day. Peranakan families would prepare their own wedding feast and the bridal attire had to be custom made. After all, there were no big restaurants and off-the-shelf gowns and suits in the 19ᵗʰ and 20ᵗʰ century. The 12-day extravaganza included days used for wedding preparations. With all the intricacies of a traditional Peranakan wedding, it was impossible to introduce every aspect of a Peranakan wedding into a single article. Thus, I will be continuing the exploration of customs in Peranakan weddings in this entry.

Peranakan weddings are not as easy to plan for as you think.
Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash

The 12 Days Of Peranakan Weddings

Peranakan families do not take their wedding celebrations lightly. They really know how to have a good time by throwing lavish parties, especially those from wealthy backgrounds. Furthermore, these families will spare no expense because they need to ensure that their guests are well taken care of. After all, they have a reputation to upkeep.

These are some of the significant and ceremonial days of Peranakan weddings.
Source: "The Babas" by Felix Chia

In those days, arranged marriages were very common and parents would proudly marry off their children into other well-established Peranakan families. Felix Chia, in his book "The Babas" stated that marriages of the past were ordained by heaven. As a result, parents would engage scholars and monks to compare their children's horoscopes to find a suitable life partner. However, these days, modern Peranakans couples will just have elements of the culture incorporated into their special day. Not many would want to hold a 12-day celebration let alone bear the cost of such an extravagant event!

Modern day couples incorporate elements from Peranakan culture into their wedding.

The Presentation Day

There are two significant pre-nuptial ceremonies that will take place on the Presentation Day. The first being "", which is a fringe-cutting ceremony that is almost identical to the Indonesian and Malay custom. The " Mak Andam" a female ceremonial barber, will cut the prospective brides fringe with two tiny tufts at either end tied with small pieces of fine, white ribbon. The " andam" (fringe) would symbolise the virginity of the Nyonya (woman) growing up. According to folklore, the " Mak Andam " was able to tell whether the bride-to-be was a virgin. Personally, I don't quite know how to feel about that!

Following this, we have the " ann cherng " ceremony. This was the blessing and decorating process of the bridal chamber in the bride's home. Originating from Chinese culture, Peranakans also use the colour red to symbolise good luck and the celebration of auspicious occasions. In the evening, a special ritual will then be performed. This ceremony must to be carried out before the Opening of Marriage Day.

The youngest male family member, normally a young boy, will be given an important task. He will first dress up in a silk gown, socks, cloth shoes, skull cap and an embroidered jacket. Then, he will roll over from one side of the bridal bed to the other repeatedly for about 43 times. After which, he will receive his hard-earned "" (red packet filled with money). The ritual is performed with the hope that the couple will be blessed with a firstborn son. Now, the bridal bed must be left untouched until the wedding night.

Preparation of the bridal chamber takes a lot of work but is an important ritual in Peranakan weddings.

The Opening Of Marriage Day

Somewhere in the front hall, the family will place a makeshift altar of the "" (God of Heaven, Earth and Man). The Opening of Marriage Day will start off with the " Chi-nya Lang Khek " luncheon. The home of the Peranakan family will be buzzing with music, and scented with the delicious aromas from the kitchen. The Nyonyas will come in the day to celebrate before the Babas attended their session at dinnertime.

While the celebration continues, the bride and groom will have to go through their own coming of age ceremony in their respective homes, known as the "". This is one of the most important ceremonies in a Peranakan wedding. It marks the first occasion when the bride and bridegroom will wear their authentic wedding robes. An astrologer will advise the families on the exact time to carry out the " cheo thau". It cannot start earlier than 11 o'clock in the evening nor later than five the next morning. The actual wedding ceremony will only take place before noon that day, after the " cheo thau" ceremony.

Baba Raymond Wong and Baba Richard Tan from Singapore share their insights on Peranakan wedding rituals and customs.

The Marriage Day

Finally, the wedding day has arrived! At the appointed hour, the page boy will leave for the groom's home to invite him to his own wedding. The bride's home is the focal point of the celebrations. Together with the " pak chin dek" (ceremonial father), two " puah kiah" (best men), two gong beaters, and the page boy, the groom will make his way to the bride's home in a fantastical procession. It was probably an exciting time for him as he has never met his future wife. This decision, after all, was up to his parents and the gods. The " pak chin dek ", usually an energetic man in his 50s, will direct the groom to flawlessly perform the wedding rituals.

Upon arriving at the bride's house, the groom will be greeted by a " sang khek um" (ceremonial mother). She will be in charge of the bride's posture, gait and performance during the wedding ceremonies. She will perform a formal greeting, presenting the groom with two oranges when he steps into the bride's house for the first time. After this, we have the " chinpang " (unveiling) ceremony. The bride will be sitting at the main hall, with a black veil over her face, which will be lifted by the groom. It was customary to use a black veil as it symbolised the sorrow of the bride who will now belong to someone else.

The couple will then head to the bridal chamber now filled with the scent of incense. A delicious lunch spread will be prepared and the couple will be able to enjoy their first meal together. After this, the bride and groom will present themselves to family and friends outside the bridal chamber. With a bow, they are now officially pronounced man and wife! The festivities are now in full swing!

From The Third To Eleventh Day

Not all the 12 days of Peranakan weddings are filled with merriment. Only four out of 12 days are used for active celebrations. The remaining eight are rest days in between the ceremonial days. The day after the wedding will be a day of rest. Following this, we have the Third-Day ceremony, known as " Sohjar Tiga Hari". On this day, the bride and groom will pay their respects and serve tea to their parents and older relatives. During this ceremony, the bride and groom will also be endowed with large dowries by their parents. Among affluent families, these dowries can include cash (in the form of an " ang pao "), property, valuable pieces of jewellery and other family heirlooms.

The Chinese Red Packet (ang pao) is often given as a symbol of good luck and blessings.
Photo credit by Mae Mu on Unsplash

From the seventh to the 11ᵗʰ day, there will be no major celebrations. However, the groom will travel between the bridal chamber and his home during this time.

Twelfth Night: The Finale Of Peranakan Weddings

The Twelfth Night is the most significant ceremony in Peranakan weddings. In the early morning of the Twelfth Night, the groom will leave the bridal chamber for the last time to prepare a place in his house for himself and his new bride. His mother, with utmost enthusiasm and pomp, will busily prepare for and await the arrival of her daughter-in-law. The feast prepared by the grooms family will consist of "" and a variety of other dishes.

On this day, the mother of the groom will receive the " sular cheo thau ". This piece of white cloth is said to represent the bride's virginity. She will inspect the cloth and once satisfied, she will welcome her new daughter-in-law into the family. After the luncheon, the family of the bride will return home with a rooster and a hen to perform the final ceremony in the bridal chamber. Here, the rooster and hen will be tucked under the bed. All those present will excitedly wait to see if the rooster or the hen will emerge first as it will represent the prediction of the gender of the newlywed's firstborn child. The couple and their families will be greatly comforted should the rooster comes out first!

Peranakan Weddings And Modern Times

While I can appreciate the intricacies of Peranakan weddings, I am glad that I will not have to experience such a long-winded affair in my lifetime. I simply cannot imagine saving up and planning for a 12-day celebration. It will be impossible with the current economic climate of the 21ˢᵗ century.

Although my grandparents did not have an elaborate Peranakan wedding, they did incorporate some of the customs.
Source: Denise Lee's family archive

This series has been something I hold very close to my heart. And I really owe it to my grandparents who brought me up with a lot of Peranakan values. I hope that you enjoyed the first season of this series. Stay tuned for future articles coming soon on my website!

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Peranakan Weddings (Part 2 Of 2): 12 Days Of Celebrations - Espoletta

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When I started exploring Peranakan culture, I did not expect that there would be so many complicated layers to uncover. From its complex origin story to the slowly disappearing language, food and customs, there is so much to explore. Previously, I touched on the topic of a traditional Peranakan wedding.

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The final day would be the the twelfth day or "dua belas hari" ceremony where evidence of the bride's virginity would be used to confirm and authorise the marriage. The bride's parents would first ask the bridegroom's mother to check out a handkerchief (also known as a Bim Poh) they had gathered from the wedding bed. The handkerchief would be set on a platter and given to the bridegroom's mother for review. She will be asked to perform a test on the handkerchief by squeezing lime juice on it in an effort to determine the authenticity of the stain. The bride's mother would typically decline to administer the exam because it would also denigrate the bride.

Next, under the bridal bed, a rooster and hen pair would also be let go. The family could anticipate a male firstborn child if the rooster emerged first, and a baby girl if the hen did.

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The third day ceremony also known as "Sohjar Tiga Hari". This is the day where the bride and the groom will visit and pay respects to their parents and elders. They will also serve tea to their elders. In returns, the bride and the group will be gifted large dowries from their parents and elders. It varies according to their wealth, the dowries includes cash (in the form of "ang pao"), valuable pieces of jewellery, family heirlooms and even properties.

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The bridal chamber is the location of the third ceremony. Chia Sia is the name of this. This ceremony is humorous and special because the bridegroom's friends and guests would congregate in the space and tease the bride in an effort to get the bride to laugh. Additionally, the unhappy groom would have to feed every visitor dinner if the bride does truly lose control of her laughter.

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The day will be start with luncheon for the guest also known as "Chi-nya Lang Khek". The guest will come in the day for celebration before attending the wedding at dinnertime.

During the celebrations both groom and bride will be having their coming of age ceremony also known as "Cheo Thau".

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The Presentation Day have two significant pre-nuptial ceremonies.

The first ceremony would be "Berandam" which is quite similar to the Malay and Indonesia custom. It is a fringe-cutting ceremony where the "Mak Andam" will cut the brides fringe where there will be two small tuft at the end that will be tied with pieces of pure white ribbon. This is to symbolizes the bride's virginity.

The second ceremony is called "ann cherng" ceremony. This ceremony is when two prospective family gather together at the bridal's chamber for the blessing and decorating process. The usage of colour red while decorating the chamber is similar to the Chinese culture as to symbolizes good luck and to celebrate this auspicious event. Before the Opening of Marriage Day, another ritual will be carried out by the youngest male in the family that has been given an important task. Dressed in a silk gown, cloth shoes, socks, embroidered jackets and a skull cap, he then will roll over the  bride's side of the bed for 43 times repeatedly (to which he will received "ang pao" later). This ritual is carried out with the hope that the bride and groom will be blessed with a firstborn son. After that, it is important to leave the bridal bed untouched until the wedding night.

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This day is the day where the women and the helpers will pepare the peranakan "rempah" (spices). Spice is an imortant element for the peranakan cuisine. Once everything is settled, the bride's families would give a token of appreciation as a thank you to the relatives and friends for their help.

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The name of the day defined the activity itself where the the women and the helpers would spend an entire day peeling onions, or rather shallots. Due to shallots being used in a lot of wedding dishes, large quantities of shallots needed to be peeled.

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The sending out the wedding invitations, The family will finally start on making the Chinese glutinous rice balls also knows as "kueh ee". back in the days, the ingredients aren't easy to prepare as they are now hence, they were made from scratch. To get the powder, a pound of rice would be poured into a large mortar and then it will be mixed with water to form a dough. The women in the family would would roll the dough into the shape of small balls the size of marbles. It is important for the red-dyed and white balls to have the same quantities.

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Back in the days, the invitations that were sent is quiet different from nowadays. Usually a small betel leaf stuffed with an areca nut will be delivered by hands to every guest as a formal wedding invitations. The invitations was called the "sa kapor siray". This invitations will be hand-delivered by the older women in the family and it's called "antah siray".

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Chim Pang ceremony marks the first meeting of the bride and the groom. The bride enters her wedding chamber with the husband and removes the veil that has been covering her face. They share a bowl of "kueh ee" (small white and red dumplings in sweet broth). Chim pang is frequently thought of as the couple's first supper together as husband and wife, and the bowl of "kueh ee" symbolises the couple's happy beginning.

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Cheo Thau also known as the hair combing is the coming of age ceremony. This sacred ritual will be held separately and this ceremony symbolizes the couple's transitions from childhood to adulthood. It is a long ceremony begin with hair combing to finally wearing the wedding attire. The wedding attire for the bride, she will be wearing a veil over her head and wait for the groom's arrival.

The couple's hair will be combed four times.
1) The first stroke: for marital harmony
2) Second stroke: for a resilient marriage
3) Third stroke: for progeny and an unbroken lineage
4) The final stroke: for mutual respect among the spouses.

The wedding ceremony will only take place after the Cheo Thau. The wedding can neither start earlier than 11 o'clock in the evening nor later than five in the next morning.

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The Lap Chai ceremony also known as the exchange of gifts between the families. It is to signify the couple's engagement and to socialize with each other's families to create a social settings between both families. Usually, the bride's family will invite the groom's family for lunch, tea or dinner. The groom's family will arrived at the bride's house with decorated trays with gifts at the top and then the bride's families will reciprocated the gesture by presenting half the numbers of trays to groom's family.

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The Baba and Nyonya, also known as the peranakan has been here ever since the 15th century due to the close relationship between China and some small countries in Malay peninsula. This close relationship was established in the 15th century when Admiral Zheng He (Cheng Ho) visited Melaka during the Parameswara's reign.

The peranakan wedding is a 12 day affair that usually held in the bride's house.

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Hello! I'm Nur Rizka Syamina Binti Mohd Sahryman from LG2431B. Currently I'm a first year student for Bachelor of Degree in Applied Language Studies (Hons) English For Intercultural Communication in Universiti Teknologi Mara (UiTM), Kampus Shah Alam.

In this portfolio, You will learn many Wedding customs and rituals from different culture in Malaysia beside the three main races! I hope you can gained useful knowledge from this! Enjoy reading XD