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I chose this movie because it shows that every relationship has conflict. It also shows that Conflict and relationships are important because, it gives both parties an opportunity to work out and solve their problems in order to maintain their bond. It also shows that conflict IS natural as well as being beneficial.

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Throughout the movie Monica and her mother's relationship had always been rocky. Monica had plans on becoming the first woman to be in the NBA while her mother couldn't figure out her daughters love for basketball which resulted in the two being in conflict with one another.

Destructive conflict patterns: Monica's mother constantly puts her down and judges her because of the way she acts and dresses(criticism).Monica had complained to her parents that she had been benched during a game and monica mother says,

"I'm not sure why you act like that... I was sure hoping you would grow out of this tomboy thing."

Along with criticizing her daughter she also belittles (contempt) her because of her daughters passion for basketball.

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Conflict: Collaborating: Monica vs Mom Part 2 

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Conflict: Collaborating: Monica vs Mom Part 2 

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In this scene in the movie Monica and her mother were able to collaborate and fix their conflict with one another.

Monica expressed her how she felt like the only thing her mother cared about was pampering her daughters, and not about Monica's passion.

"It mattered Mom."

Their conflict style showed competing, Monica continued playing basketball without a care (WIN) while her mother had to accept the fact that it wasn't a "phase"(LOSE)

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Meeting at a young age Quincy's and Monica's relationship had already been full of conflict but, they always made sure to collaborate with each other which saved their relationship.

Their relationship went downhill when Quincy broke up with monica for putting basketball over him.This resulted in the avoiding stage of their relationship.

For 4 years they managed to stay in the avoiding stage, Monica started playing basketball overseas and Quincy was playing basketball in their hometown.

Quincy's ACL injury brung the couple back together. Monica went to visit him in the hospital and got the shocking news that he was getting married soon.

Monica had moved back home and had quit playing basketball. Quincy saw her struggling to walk in her heels and questioned her career choice. Quincy confesses to Monica he never knew anyone who loved basketball as much as her, that made Monica realize that basketball was her life. (Circumscribing)

"Now all a sudden, you're gonna trade in you Nikes for a pair of shoes you cant even walk in."

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Monica's way of repairing their relationship is having a 1-v-1 game with Quincy to play for their love.

In the end, Monica is playing basketball again, and the couple's relationship led to marriage and starting a family.

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Conflict and relationships allows us to compromise , verbalize our needs, and to see the good in it. These two are like a package deal, you can get one without the other.

Monica and her mother's heated talk led to them understanding how they felt about one another. Quincy also expressed his need for Monica to be there for him when she chose basketball over him. This allowed them to understand/see each other's point of view. Analyzing their conflict styles taught me that listening to someone's need helps when trying to solve conflict.

Conflict has also taught me that you won't always get your desired ending. Monica's Mom as well as Quincy had to accept that Monica chose basketball to be her career, they both let their pride aside and let Monica have her way with it.

Relationships showed me that conflict doesn't mean anything when you care about the person. Throughout the years Monica heard her mother's insults but never let that stop her from being her mother, Monica just knew that if she wanted to talk about basketball she could talk about it with Quincy.

Monica and Quincy dated when they were younger and even after they broke up they still managed to be friends with one another.I learned that if a person values you they are going to compromise and not let the relationship sink.

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Prince-Bythewood, G., Lee, S., & Kitt, S. (2000). Love & Basketball [DVD]. United States; New Line Cinema.

YouTube. (2009). Love & Basketball. YouTube. Retrieved December 8, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaxnNPii2TU.

YouTube. (2008). Love & Basketball. YouTube. Retrieved December 8, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgSozH4fZxc.

Adler, R. B. (2014). Looking out looking in. Cengage.