# data[].attributes.body
Hi Talal! One thing that I liked about your paragraph was the broad word choice. I  really liked the words “mystified, ” “humiliate,” and “additionally.” These words kept the piece interesting and avoided repetition. Another thing that I liked about your paragraph was the Explanation parts. They clearly stated the theme and why it mattered. They were also very elaborate. Lastly, a third thing that I liked about your writing piece was the evidence. It was really accurate, stating the time stamps and what happens inside of these times.

# data[].attributes.body
Hi, Talal! First off, your usage of elevated sophisticated vocabulary really made the paragraph strong. For example, you used words like “Duped,” “determined,” “conveys,” and more make your analysis very sophisticated. In addition, you use extremely strong transition words throughout the entire paragraph. Transitions like “Additionally,” “Essentially,” help the reader to move smoothly from one idea to the next. A suggestion that I can offer for improvement is to not use repetitive transitions like “certainly” for example, i suggest you vary the wording to “Hence”, “Furthermore”, Etc. This would help to eliminate repetitiveness.

# data[].attributes.body
A strength of your theme analysis paragraph, “Finding Courage by the Shore” is that you explained the evidence well. I could clearly understand what it meant in your own words. Another thing you did well was that you did the third part explanation with strong word choice and good sentence structure. However, you could work on eliminating repetition. I found that you repeated the same things over and over again.

# data[].attributes.body
Hi Talal! A strength of your paragraph was how you crafted your Explanation parts. They were really detailed and descriptive and they explained the theme and what it meant. Another thing I liked was the evidence. It sounded like they were very accurate and that you spent a lot of time and effort looking for quality evidence. However, one thing I suggest you could change would be to fix minor errors. I saw some things like indenting the paragraph when not needed, not highlighting the transition words. Otherwise you made a really good essay!

# data[].attributes.body
Hi Tilal! A strength of your essay, “Should teachers consider adding pets in classrooms” was that you did good anecdotes. I could clearly understand and visualize your scenes. Another thing you did well was that you eliminated the other side of the story. It made it sound more persuasive. However, you should add what happens if there is and isn’t a pet in the classroom, like in your intro paragraph, so people can understand it more clearly.

# data[].attributes.body
Your explanations are VERY strong Talal! I really like your essay and I agree with you. I think your ending is very strong too. It makes the reader feel what your saying. However I think you can add more to your ending paragraphs because the reader needs to understand just a little more.

# data[].attributes.body
Hi tALaL! A strength of your essay was your descriptive scenes and how you used your descriptive words. It really caught my attention and I felt like I was in the scene myself. It would be really convincing to the reader if he/she would’ve read this essay. Another strength was your conclusion paragraph. It was really powerful and convincing, and it was extremely satisfying after I read it. A third thing that stood out to me was your explanation parts. They really captured my attention and they were really powerful. The anecdote was so descriptive, I could feel myself in them! Great job tALaL!

# data[].attributes.body
Hi talalypop your story was very long and detailed i liked that i also liked that it said the store was moldy but i thoght the story was almost exactly like the original

# data[].attributes.body
One thing i liked about your story was how you were so descriptive about basically everything, i also liked how you were able to basically have the reader on the edge of their seat to see what happens next, this piece is a thriller, although one thing you can work on is mostly just implementing more inner thoughts at a specific moment, not having a lot of inner thoughts can impact your story, although your story is good besides that.

# data[].attributes.body
One thing that you did well in your narrative was describe everything. I could visualize the thrift store in my head very easily. I could understand what the places looked like. Another thing you did well was describe your emotions. I could perfectly understand what you felt like, which really helped me understand the story. However, you could work on punctuation. There was a lack of periods, and you didn’t even add commas. Dialogue punctuation was also poorly misused. It was unclear where you added inner thoughts. Overall, it was a good story.

# data[].attributes.body
One thing you did well in your memoir “The Crash Mash”, was that you used a lot of inner thoughts. I could really understand what you were thinking at that moment. Another thing you did well was that you used similes really well. The comparisons made me understand the moment and feel like I was there, that’s how well you used similes. However, one thing you could work on is using more figurative language. Your piece was so long, there were a lot of parts where you didn’t use figurative language but you easily could have.