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Hi Sadie! One star I have for your paragraph is your transition words. Some of yours that I liked were “To better support the idea,” and “ To conclude,”. One more star I have for you is your explanation. You were very thorough with it and you added stuff like “To elaborate, the Pixar short For The Birds  it tries to show the way here that karma is always lurking around the corner. It means that whatever deed is done whether it is a good one or a bad one the Comintern of the deed will have it returned to them in the end in either a good way or a bad way.” My last star is your evidence. You added things like “To better support the idea, that people learn that action finds a way of being returned, at 2:13 to 3:00 in the short For The Birds “The one who started it. Little birds try to throw the Big Bird off the telephone wire and the bird ends up “flying” into the air and ends up “naked.” I liked your use of transition words and how your evidence related to your theme.

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Hi Saide, One thing that I really liked about your piece was the description. You did a really good job on adding explanations and making sure the reader understood what was going on. Another thing that I really liked about your piece was the word choice you used, for example when you said “Without a doubt”, and when you said “that karma is always lurking around the corner”. One thing I think you could have worked on with( your piece would be to make sure to vary the word you use because there was a little bit of repetition other than that good job!

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Hi sadie! One star in your paragraph is your explanation. This is because your detail was pristine and I liked details like “Indeed, this matters because one gopher can easily show another that he doesn't care about what the sheep looks like, he is still a sheep. The animals looked completely different but still got along really well. If let’s say for example one kid comes into a class with navy blue skin most kids would make fun of the navy kid. That kid would be really sad and lonely and that is not right to the kid”. One other star is that your sum up sentence was great. This is because I thought it really related to your theme and you reworded it. One wish I have for your paragraph is your first part of your evidence. You said “whatever color a person is whether it is pink, purple, or blue we are all people.” when the evidence says “ be it pink, purple or heliotrope.”

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Hey Sadie! I thought your essay was great! I think that it was descriptive, good craftsmanship, and it was a very long paragraph and I think that was great. That was a very strong point for you thank you could’ve worked on a little bit of word choice over very simple words but overall it was great I loved it!

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hi Sadie you have really good evidence from boundin i like how you talk about them shaving the sheep hair.  Showing that they shaved the sheep's hair can relate to the theme. Also, your entire writing really relates to the theme. Which makes your writing good. You have two transition words in your second explanation if you and they can have a transition to this matter.

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Hello Sadie! 1 strength in your essay is you introduction paragraph. It was very funny to say the least, one other strength in your essay is your explanation because you elaborated a lot. one wish I had is that you explained more on what the diseases are.

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hi Sadie, My first star for you was the drama/ elaboration that you put in your piece, like at the part where you went “If we don't help out kids with standardized testing then your bad parents”. Another star that I have for you was that you convinced me a lot with your evidence/explanation I felt really convinced. A suggestion that I have for you though would be to carefully look through your piece because there was some spots were you missed capital letters, or punctuation.

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Hello Sadie! 1 strength in your essay is that you really elaborated and put a lot of work into your paragraphs. I also liked how you really explained how in the future if standardized testing is taken away students would have better mental health. One wish I have is that you should elaborate on how the evidence matters.

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Hi, Sadie! A strength in your essay, “Standardized Tests and Their Nightmares,” was how descriptive your introduction paragraph was. As you explained the scene, showing your side, you used very elaborate and descriptive images. For instance, I loved how you used dark purplish  dark circles under their eyes to make the picture clear. In addition, I like the way you sum it up sentences, restating the claim in a unique way. For example, you nicely sum your paragraphs up with elaborate detail, making sure it doesn’t get too boring. However, a suggestion I could offer is adding better punctuation. While you had an amazing essay, I noticed some places that weren't punctuated correctly, which created some errors in your essay. Overall, your essay was amazing!

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The story was amazing and very Descriptive. Also I’ve never seen anyone else my age write so. Much! I do think you could use a little more show not tell

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The first thing I liked is your figurative language. I liked how they actually showed and told me. Also, I liked that you had two types of figurative language in one sentence. Another thing I liked is your detail in your memoir. I liked how you really made me visualized me in your memoir. One thing i wish you could improve on is you could maybe explain more on what the shark is.

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That was amazing I have never read a pice so we’ll written.
That was amazing

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⭐️: i really like how you did not add spaces when you were yelling like how someone yelling when they're scared.⭐️:I like how you showed how you were feeling and thinking .🧞‍♂️:you should show what there face look like where they yelling or calm.

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⭐️: i really like how you did not add spaces when you were yelling like how someone yelling when they're scared.⭐️:I like how you showed how you were feeling and thinking .🧞‍♂️:you should show what there face look like where they yelling or calm.