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It was very interesting doing the 16 Personalities Test. I have been thinking about two things in particular since I came out as a "Defender" (the description for which is exactly how I see myself):

Did the assessment come out exactly how I see myself because I have a strong sense of who I am, or because how I wish I was or want to be has an impact on the outcome by making me answer the questions in a certain way. I asked my husband and daughter for feedback on this, and they both see me exactly as the test results describe, so I guess that answers that! I think ultimately I pride myself on who I am and how I operate in the world, so it was reassuring to see those qualities come out in the test. As far as I am concerned, I passed!

I think it is so true that your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. While I have a deep sense of responsibility to those around me, I can also take things personally and be overly sensitive to others' opinions. While I feel most energized and effective when I am showing up for someone who needs my help and/or sharing my knowledge, attention, and expertise, I can also get taken advantage of and then burn out because I don't know how to say no. While I have strong relationships and a deeply social nature, I also tend to be protective of myself and need time to deepen my connections over time. Unfortunately, I don't always have the time to develop relationships deeply and can sometimes come across as stand-offish when thrown into new situations.

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Quotes that inspire, encourage, enlighten...

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Quotes that inspire, encourage, enlighten...

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"A river without banks is a large puddle."

Ken Blanchard, What is Servant Leadership?

"Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others."

Brian Tracy

"The complexity of life is resolved in the simplicity of love." Harold W. Becker

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." William Butler Yeats

"Everyone shines, given the right lighting."

Susan Cain

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When is relationship too much relationship...(or too little)

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When is relationship too much relationship...(or too little)

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I had an issue a few years ago that I have been thinking about recently, as I consider the importance of relationship. I have come to see that this particular issue/situation ultimately came down to boundaries. I had a change in administration who suggested to me that I "be careful" because my strong relationships with staff were going to "get me in trouble". There was a bit of a contentious issue with a teacher who was also a parent at our school. Being driven by my feelings of responsibility to those around me, I tried to support from both ends and offered to work with the teacher around a health plan for her daughter. The teacher ended up asking me to come over to her house and we would work through it over a glass of wine. There were some stressors for both of us at that time, and I think she was just showing kindness and empathy for our shared stress. I did not go, for reasons I do not remember. However, when my principal caught wind of the invite, she was very sharp and warned me that I was going to "get myself in trouble" with my relationships if I wasn't careful. This comment bothered me for a long time. While I recognize the blurry lines that exist when a staff member is also a parent, I've had trouble understanding why any positive relationship with a colleague or parent could get me into trouble. I think now that it's about boundaries. Boundaries help us sort out what is and is not okay in our relationships. And work relationships are different than personal relationships. In retrospect, I like to think that my principal was helping me to protect my own well-being as a leader. It was early in my career as an AP, where I was still trying to work out where I fit in. Leadership can be quite lonely at times, and that was a big adjustment for me when I moved into my AP role. I really did feel quite lonely and disconnected. This was made more difficult because I had a hard time connecting with my Principal. She operated in a way that was very different from me - not better or worse, just different. Over time I worked out how to feel connected to people in my work life in different ways. I see now the importance of boundaries. Boundaries help me be clear on who I am, what my role is, and what values and beliefs drive my work. This is essential to my well-being. Setting boundaries helps to build relationships of trust, safety, and respect. That being said, setting boundaries is hard and often uncomfortable. As Brene Brown puts it, I have to work hard in my relationships at work to make sure that I am not "trading authenticity for approval." This is a constant struggle for me, a people-pleaser at heart. It is something I am continuously working on... “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” —Brene Brown

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I am really encouraged by the idea of servant leadership. I love the idea that "you work for your people to help them win". As Ken Blanchard argues, "you make your people become eagles rather than ducks" (What is Servant Leadership, p. 11). I thought of the words of Ken Blanchard as I listened to a podcast by Simon Sinek. Sinek was talking about how leadership can be thankless and lonely. When things are going right, you give away the credit, and when things are going wrong, you take all the blame. This type of leadership takes courage. Talking about courage and where it comes from, Sinek shares an example of a trapeze artist. When a trapeze artist practices a new trick, he/she does it with the support of a net. The net helps to give him/her the courage to try and try again. Leadership is like this, and our relationships provide the safety net. In order to develop courage in others, they need to know someone is there to provide them with a safe place to fall.

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Simon Sinek is my new crush. The following are some of his ideas that resonate with me:

“Leadership is the awesome responsibility to see those around us rise." - When you are a leader, you don't do the job anymore. Rather, you see those around you be better at the job, in part because of the experience and support you have provided along the way. A leader fosters growth and provides a circle of safety. I whole-heartedly believe that the teachers in my building are waaaay better at teaching than me, and I openly admit that.

The "Power of Kindness" - Acts of kindness and generosity create a bump of oxytocin in your system, resulting in warm feelings and a sense connectedness. The more we have, the more we give. Kindness begets kindness. I believe this to my core. There is no better feeling than giving and receiving kindness. I always tell students that when you put kindness into the world, you get kindness in return.

"Values should be written as verbs. They are things we do."

honesty=tell the truth

integrity=do the right thing

We know this in our work with students. They need to know what it looks like, what it sounds like, and how it makes you feel.

Agency - According to google, agency is "the sense of control that you feel in your life, your capacity to influence your own thoughts and behavior, and to have faith in your ability to handle a wide range of tasks and situations. Your sense of agency helps you to be psychologically stable, yet flexible in the face of conflict or change."

Sinek suggests that one way to make people feel and have agency is through accountability. "You have responsibility for this project. If it goes right, I will give you credit. And if it goes wrong, I will stand by you and support you as you try to mend it."

I see this as integral to leadership. Teachers and students need to believe they can, and will, succeed. They have the capacity to solve any problem.

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I have been reflecting on the leadership in my building, and thinking about two kinds of leadership in particular. Firstly, we have a very strong leadership team, with four very strong Learning Leaders. My experience working with LLs has been from the lens of two different principals/perspectives. With one, it was more of a collaborative role, with everyone working together to support the leadership work, but mostly as background players, with the principal still taking the lead when working with the entire staff. My current principal has a different approach, having essentially delegated each of them a "portfolio" of sorts, and leaving it to them to run the PD etc. on their own, with our support as needed. While I loved the more collaborative approach of my previous principal, I think as far as leadership development goes I see the current approach as allowing for more growth. It gives them more autonomy, but also more responsibility and therefore accountability. Like George S. Patton Jr. says, "don't tell people how to do things; tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results". They have taken the reins and done an amazing job. And I think they are further ahead in their own development because of this. Were I in charge, it would likely be a hybrid of both, somehow working in some autonomy and agency, while still fostering a lot of collaboration. That being said, it would be a work in progress - building the ship while I sail it. I don't think any approach would be set in stone, as our work is often responsive and/or generative in nature.

The other leaders I have been thinking about are those quiet leaders on staff. The ones who quietly support the work through those underground channels, often just in their attitude and relationships. When we were tasked with bringing on a new approach to supporting students called Collaborative Response, I knew just who to go to. I asked a specific teacher to take it on with me as part of the new committee. I knew her to be one who is always willing to try things and take risks, but who also comes with very strong values and skills in working with complex students. She took it on with such enthusiasm that you couldn't help but go along with her. And she has a great deal of credibility with the rest of the staff. When she puts posters in front of the toilets all over the school, it is taken differently than if we did it. Her enthusiasm became others' enthusiasm. When she presents to staff alongside me, they listen from a different lens. And she models the work from a teacher perspective, which holds so much more credibility. She doesn't see herself as a leader, but I sure do.

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Difficult Conversation Without Losing Sleep - Leader & Team Development | GTA

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The Art of Focused Conversations for Schools

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The Art of Focused Conversations for Schools

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I think I had almost every type of conversation in this article today alone. So much of my days are spent having conversations - I have so many conversations in a day that by the time I get home I don't want to talk to anyone at all (except maybe my dog!). I really liked this article and will use it as a tool to have more focused and productive conversations. It is about getting to the heart of the matter in an open and honest way so that issues can be addressed and people can get on with their work feeling good about it. I need to think about conversations in a more purposeful way. Not every conversation is created equally, and some require different levels of finesse. My conversation with the Grade 5 boys who had a fight over an overly aggressive game of tag this morning was very different from the conversation I had with a parent who's child just received a new diagnosis. While of course I approach these conversations differently, I could certainly spend more time planning and organizing my approach to get better results.

Difficult conversations have been a leadership goal for me this year, making up a good part of my Leadership Growth Plan. I am learning that these types of conversations don't necessarily have to be hard or contentious, even though they are often addressing things that may need fixed, changed, or that may be upsetting. According to Sonia Gill in her book Successful Difficult Conversations in Schools, a successful difficult conversation is "a difficult conversation that creates positive change, quickly and kindly". She goes on to say that "without conflict, we cannot be as good, or great, as our potential". I think if you reframe difficult conversations into conversations for growth, people are much more willing to engage and try to make positive changes. It's all in the delivery - which I think this conversation tool will help with. Although I just said difficult conversations don't have to be difficult, I admit that I don't always believe this. It takes courage, vulnerability, and well established trust to get to place where this can happen. It also takes confidence. I am working on it...

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Oh my gosh do I relate to what you said about working with a problematic principal. While I recognize I am not going to always connect with my colleagues in the way I hope, having to connect with and support someone who you see as almost toxic can be soul-crushing. I spent a lot of time in the early days trying to survive this relationship. Then one day, I decided I needed to flip things and try to thrive instead. I began to focus on the learning of what not to do. I recognized my own strengths, and stepped in to try to fill the cracks (as Leonard Cohen says, "there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in"). At the same time I made sure to recognize her strengths and learn from them whenever I could. And funny enough, I think I learned more from her than anyone else I have worked with.

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I was just thinking about the role of a leader and the necessity of leading by example. It is so important to model positive and productive behaviours. If you are the last person to get to work every day and the first person to leave, always on your cell phone, not attending assemblies and special events, not following through on your promises/deliverables, don't step up with a "can-do" attitude wherever and whenever its needed, etc., then how can you expect that of others? If people are looking to you for leadership, be a leader.

According to Julia Martins in "How to lead by example, according to one Asana leader", leading by example means modelling the behaviour you want to see in your team: "When you lead by example, you don’t just push team members towards excellence—rather, you actively demonstrate that excellence. Leading by example is the difference between saying, “You can do this” and “We can do this together.” Though the support and encouragement in the former is great, the latter builds connection, camaraderie, and trust." I couldn't have said it better.

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Calgary Board of Education - Indigenous Holistic Lifelong Learning Framework

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As I listened to Dr. Joshua Hill talk about the work of decolonization and Indigenization and what that can look like at the school level, I took a moment to celebrate the work we are doing at my school. We began the real work of "looking back to walk forward ‘in a good way’" three years ago. We still have a long way to go, but we have made strides. I shared this feeling of accomplishment with our Learning Leader who leads a lot of this work today. It is something to be proud of:

building a relationship with an Indigenous Elder - our Elder has worked with us for three years; we have benefited greatly from her wisdom and guidance

embedding Indigenous people and knowledge in school events - our Elder participates in many school celebrations and events, such as the opening of our new outdoor learning space; our monthly assemblies focus on the Seven Sacred Teachings, as shared by students from every grade level; we acknowledge the land every Monday during announcements

sharing resources by Indigenous authors and artists - we have expanded our library collection to represent and celebrate Indigenous authors; hosted author David Bouchard to share his work with students; host Indigenous art and artist through AFA's travelling art exhibits

creating opportunities for teachers to learn from Indigenous people - participated in a sweat lodge as a staff, took part in the Blanket Exercise, learned Indigenous games

professional learning - book study on Ensouling Our Schools - A Universally Designed Framework for Mental Health, Well-Being, and Reconciliation by Jennifer Katz

creating space that encourages inclusion of Indigenous perspectives - designed an Outdoor Learning Space to support learning from the land and which reflects Indigenous ways of knowing

clearing a path for learning from the land - creating sit spaces, weekly walks through the ravine, outdoor learning space; a horse-riding staff retreat; a guided staff walk learning about native plants on Nose Hill

model ways of knowing through practices such as sharing circles (used school-wide), land-based learning, celebrating the Seven Sacred Teachings

honouring Chanie Wenjack and his story through a school-wide "Walk for Wenjack" during Secret Path week; Orange Shirt Day

While we have much to celebrate, one area we need to work on is in designing learning for parents to help them understand the need for this work. We sadly have had some push-back from a small number of parents. We need to work more intentionally with parents to develop an understanding of why we do this work, that we have a responsibility to acknowledge the truth and develop understanding and empathy. As Bonnie Schiedel says, "we owe it to our kids to learn more and do better".

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Something I have often felt but could never really articulate was put perfectly in the article by Bonnie Schiedel when she quoted Rachel Mishenene, who is Ojibway from Eabametoong First Nation and works as an executive at the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario: “I want to make sure we highlight the positive and innovative contributions Indigenous peoples have made or continue to make in arts, music, sports, science, anthropology, media, and as storytellers,” she says. “Residential schools made their mark, and teaching that history is important. We also need to share stories of strength, resilience and excellence.” I see such strength and beauty in the songs and stories of the Indigenous people. While I recognize that we need to understand the truth of our history and the impact of residential schools, I feel we also need to highlight and celebrate the beauty, resilience and wisdom of the Indigenous people.

I also loved what was said in this article about helping young learners understand by helping them connect and relate on a personal level: "By making stories about residential schools relatable, kids can understand in their hearts, as well as their brains." It is more than the information and facts of the story, it is the "teaching to the heart".

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D. Ahsén:nase Douglas: 'Unmarked depicts the loss of culture, language and of course children through the historical implementation of the Residential School system in Canada. It was created as a reflection of my own feelings of sadness resulting from this loss and has become a timely harbinger of what is currently occurring with the increased discovery of children's Unmarked graves on the grounds of Canadian Residential Schools.'

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I was just struck by this image. I felt the sadness and loss associated with the discoveries made over the last few years. I think it is important to feel it as well as learn about it.

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I loved this open letter from teachers to admin. It reinforced everything I believe about strong leadership in schools.

As I ran around like a mad-woman chasing grade 6s through the forest this morning (I am at outdoor school this week), I felt awesome! I am leading by example by pelting kids with bean bags - how great is my job! Camp is such a great place to connect with kids and show them you care. It allows for great conversations, and has given me an opportunity to just stop and enjoy them as little humans. The best quote of the week: With great excitement, a boy yelled "hey, there's a squirrel!!!" Another boy responded: "Well, it's better than a chicken." What else can I say?

One particular part that really resonated with me from the letter was the point that meetings need to have real value and merit. Teachers want to improve - we need to value their time and make our meetings worthy of their time and attention. There is nothing more un-motivating than a meeting that could have been an email. Time is precious, and we all know that the number one impact on student success is the teacher. We need to capitalize on capacity building and supporting solid task design if we want to move kids forward. We also know that a healthy, happy teacher equates to healthy happy kids.