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During the 1950s, people began to marry earlier because of the scarcity of men after WW2. The “Housewife” and “Breadwinner” were typical archetypes of the nuclear 1950s suburban family in which the man usually went to work and the woman took care of the children and the household. This was becoming more and more common in the American family.

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Teens were often seen as “lovestruck” or “puppy eyed” when dating. This concept shows the innocence of most concepts of dating in the 1950s.

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Here are some authentic 1950s educational instruction videos which described the ways to date, talk to someone you like, and be respectful in a relationship. Check out these videos!

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Many parents and elders began to see the consequences of teen dating. Pregnancies out of wedlock skyrocketed, and parents did not approve. This led to many articles, songs, movies, and media being created to spread the idea of abstinence. Sexual education also served as a reason for unwanted pregnancies to skyrocket. 1950s sexual education did not teach any ways to avoid pregnancies other than abstinence, and the birth control pill did not become widely available until the 1960s. 1950s dating and marriage trends also led to 1960s and 1970s movements in feminism by challenging the new established status quo.

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During the 1950s, a new teen dating culture began to emerge, allowing a casual form of relationship between young people. This included many new “rituals” or customs that have still influenced dating today in the teenage world.

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In the novel, the main character, Esther, describes her experience with divorce, she says

“My father had been married before, so he needed a divorce—my father said to her, ‘Whew, that’s a relief, now we can stop pretending and be ourselves’?—and from that day on my mother never had a minute’s peace” (Plath 85).

Esther understands that people have to change their appearances and attitudes in order to keep a relationship going well until the knot is tied, and couples have assurance of their relationship.

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(“17 Ridiculous Dating Etiquette Rules from the 1950s”)

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Another photo of a happy couple in front of a home.

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This is a authentic 1950s instructional video on how to ask for, have, and end a date.

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Teens in the 1950s often went to dances such as Prom and Homecoming as dates. This trend continues to today’s society.

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Esther, the main character in “The Bell Jar” describes her experience with love and men she says,

“And I knew that in spite of all the roses and kisses and restaurant dinners a man showered on a woman before he married her, what he secretly wanted when the wedding service ended was for her to flatten out underneath his feet like Mrs. Willard's kitchen mat.” (Plath 85)

Many times, 1950s wives were treated unfairly behind closed doors. This is also a reason why divorce rates continued to rise throughout this time period. Women began to be better off in their financial situations, so they could either choose not to marry or to divorce when married if they needed to.
#RedFlag

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Esther, being an independent women, says,

“The trouble was, I hated the idea of serving men in any way. I wanted to dictate my own thrilling letters.” (Plath 76)

Esther felt that if she were to become in love with a man, she would have to become a submissive housewife that had no legacy or life other than serving her husband. This is tied to the housewife trend of the 1950s.

#GurlPower

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Staurt A. Kallen indicates that a women’s houshold after marriage became their whole life.

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Esther explains her experience of love with Buddy, she says,

“He made me feel I was much more sexy and experienced than he was and that everything he did like hugging and kissing and petting was simply what I made him feel like doing out of blue, he couldn’t help it and didn’t know it came about.” (Plath 70)

This is a great example of the new 1950s physical form of “love” in which many couples went a bit farther than handholding. This is also a great example of the new acceptance of sexuality in society in the 1950s.

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The placement of girls’ bows in the 1950s often indicated the status of a girl’s relationship/life.

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According to the article “A Brief History of Courtship and Dating in America, Part 2”,

“For instance, there had to be some visible token (class ring, letterman’s sweater or jacket) given to the one with whom you were going out. Additionally, the relationships were exclusive: Neither boy nor girl could date or pay much attention to anyone of the opposite sex. Obviously, most of these steady relationships did not result in marriage, oftentimes not lasting more than a few days or a few weeks” (Burzumato).

#MaterialGurl

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William and Nancy Young outline that

“Going steady meant a forced intimacy between male and female adolescents, a dangerous combination in the eyes of many adults and child psychologists” (32).

Risks included:

Teen Pregnancy

Ridicule from peers

Heartbreak or depression following failed relationships

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Senior instructor of Sociology, Skip Burzumato explains that

“If the average age of first marriages was dropping (around age 18 for women and 20 for men) then the preparation for marriage — the shopping around, if you will — had to begin much earlier than that.”

#BaeShopping

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Burzumato explains that

“Due primarily to this scarcity of men, two things happened in the United States after World War II pertaining to marriage: Marriage rates climbed, and the average age of those marrying went down” (Burzumato).

Loss of men in WW2

People began to have to search

Need for stability and family/love after the hardships of war

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According to Stuart A. Kallen, teenagers of the late 50s had created their own society and norms for their age group.

Cliques

Group Dates

Public Entertainment

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The word “date” has an interesting backstory.

“According to cultural historian Beth Bailey, the word date was probably originally used as a lower-class slang word for booking an appointment with a prostitute. However, by the turn of the 20th century we find the word being used to describe lower-class men and women going out socially to public dances, parties and other meeting places, primarily in urban centers where women had to share small apartments and did not have spacious front parlors in their homes to which to invite men to call” (Burzumato).

#SideEye

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In the time period, the 1950s, the public was beginning to be more open about sexual content. The book, “The 1950s” says,

“Espousing a somewhat libertine philosophy of sexual freedom and materialism, the magazine [Playboy] managed to hire the best authors for both fiction and articles” (Young 149).

This magazine influenced the “male gaze” and how men set standards for the “ideal woman”.

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Many advertisements and products directed towards young people showed young couples smiling such as this couple here.

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“The 1950s” explains that

“As the decade drew to a close, the custom nonetheless remained popular among youth and their elder’s fears became statistics: out of wedlock births rose sharply and no one found any easy solutions to the age old problems associated with sex and adolescence” (Young 32).

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A common date practice was to go on “joyrides”. This was called “cruisin”. This practice showcased the new generation gap and change of interest in activities by the teens in the 1950s.

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Newfound dating came with some newfound challenges. Couples, with new competition for a date, had to find ways to “mark their territory” in a way that still held romantic meaning.

“Couples were expected to remain loyal to one another, and young males made a visible sign of commitment, usually with the gift of a ring … Charms for the girl’s bracelet, athletic letter sweaters, or matching articles of clothing also served as indicators that a couple dated steadily” (Young 31).

P.S. This continues to be a trend in today’s dating scene with necklaces, bracelets, and hoodies being given as tokens of loyalty in a relationship.

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Marinucci says,

“Teen dating in the 1950s was full of expectations and rules.” (“Dating in the 1950s Was No Picnic”)

“Sixty years ago, signaling your arrival by honking from the curb would have ensured you'd never be dating anyone on that block again!” (“Dating in the 1950s Was No Picnic”)

"’When a boy takes a girl home after a date, he should escort her to the door and help her open it.’” (“Dating in the 1950s Was No Picnic”)

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Before this time period, “dating” or “courtship” was a formal invitation followed by supervised time spent usually in a family’s parlor or common room with the couple to talk and get to know each other. This changed with the 1940s and 1950s when casual dating among teen and young adults began to arise. William and Nancy Young explain that the act of being in a loyal and stable relationship led to less worrying about formal invitations to a “date” and more confidence about having casual time together (31).

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According to William and Nancy Young, American marriage’s began at significantly younger ages. The average age for a man’s marriage in the 50s being 22 (which was 24 in the decade prior) and women being 20 (which was 22 in the decade prior).

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The new spike in teen dating and young marriage led to a “baby boom” in the 1950s-1960s.

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This is another instructional video that explains how a proper date should go.

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Here are some more websites with some interesting and obscure facts about the 1950s dating and marriage scene!

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1940s/1950s Teen Dating Fads & Expressions of Love

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This website is an explanation of the public symbols of love in the 1950s for teens.

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The other day my brother posted a Facebook post asking why his teenage son insisted on switching sweaters with his girlfriend. This made me giggle AND got me to thinking about how teenagers have been doing goofy things to show affection towards their partner for years and years. Today's post is going to focus on that... Teen Dating Fads & Expressions of Love in the 1940s and 1950s.

AND if I missed any examples (I know there is many), please share in the comments section below. I love hearing from my readers.

Girl's Hair-Do (aka bows in the hair) Reveals Love Life-1944

Bow on the top of the head: means that Ann Mitchell is "out to get herself a man."

Bow worn in back: means that Betty is "not interested in men."

Bow worn on the right side: indicates that Becky is deeply in love.

Bow worn at left: is a signal and challenge. It means Betty Chaney is "going steady."

Teenage girl tying a scarf around the neck of her boyfriend was a fad

Vintage Photo: Atlanta, GA, US October 1947.

Dog Collar Anklet "puppy love" 1950s Fad

The fad hit the big time in 1953, and whether you wore your dog collar on the left or the right was an announcement to the world about whether you were single or whether you were going steady with someone, though which side meant what varied depending on location ( Source).

Source: janellereston.com

Getting "Pinned"

Another tradition included a young lady receiving a pin from her special someone from a fraternity house. After the pinning, that young lady awaits in her room to hear her special fraternity serenading her below her window ( Source).

Source: MSU Archives

Remember School Rings?

Teens would show that they were"going steady" with someone with these pieces of jewelry. The guy would give the girl his ring and she would typically wear it as a necklace.

Here is a scene from Grease when Danny gives Sandy his ring ( video clip).

Letterman Jacket "gifting"

Giving a girl you liked your Letterman Jacket was a symbol of affection and to tell the world "that is my girl", as seen on this pretty young lady in the 1940s.

The article states:
"In San Diego enterprising teenagers have abandoned the unsubtle old system of advertising their dating status by wearing (or not wearing) fraternity pins on their sweaters. Instead they have developed an ingenious signal code with homemade sword pins which, at a glance, will tell anyone who knows the code all he needs to know.

It all started innocently a few months ago when some fund-raising Girl Scouts began making the swords purely for ornament, out of pins, colored beads and plastic cord hilts, as part of a hobby-craft program, and selling them for $0.15 each. Soon local junior high schoolers started making them on their own and putting them together in patterns fraught with romantic significance. The fad, spreading furiously throughout San Diego County, threatens to head north to Hollywood, after which there may be no stopping it."

Source: Tumblr

Carving your initials in a tree

Carving your initials in a tree (Arborglyph) to show your love, has been going on for centuries. And yes this not necessarily just a teenager ritual but too cute to not add.

Source: Tumblr

Now for a chuckle (because I think we could all use a bit of distraction right now), here is a video on Teen Dating Dos and Don'ts in the 1940s.

Hope you enjoyed learning about some quirky ways teens in the 1940s and 1950s showed their dating status. As per the above, share any I missed in the comment section below!
FURTHER READING:
Liz

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1940s/1950s Teen Dating Fads & Expressions of Love

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The other day my brother posted a Facebook post asking why his teenage son insisted on switching sweaters with his girlfriend. This made me giggle AND got me to thinking about how teenagers have been doing goofy things to show affection towards their partner for years and years.

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Kallen describes that when it came to a woman in the 1950s,

“Her only means of completion and fulfillment was childbearing.” (25)

#KnowYourWorth

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Staurt A. Kallen expresses, “Nuclear families” (mother, father, and children) made up the majority of households.

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Kallen also mentions that

“Divorce was stigmatized and considered socially unacceptable” (23) for couples in the 50s.

#TellThatToToday’s50%DivorceRate

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Because the 1950s were the start of openly talking about sex,

“Sexual activity could result in the loss of reputation—an essential commodity if marriage was to be your sole identity. More important, in the absence of legal abortion, an extramarital pregnancy could be—and almost always was—disastrous.” (Kallen 158)

Birth control pills did not become widely available until the 1960s and 1970s, and even then it was stigmatized.

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(“17 Ridiculous Dating Etiquette Rules from the 1950s”)

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Dates were often held in public places such as diners and restaurants and even with group dates taking place at times.

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Although many couples appeared to be perfectly happier in the media and to the public, many were quite toxic and divorce rates began to spike after the 1950s.

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The wearing of a collar on the ankle also gave a nudge to a lady’s relationship status.

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According to Stuart A. Kallen, women resorted to marriage because their other options were unappealing. These options often included working for the rest of their life, ridicule, and pressure from parents.

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Esther, the main character of the Bell Jar is hesitant about marriage and says that

“The last thing I wanted was infinite security and to be the place an arrow shoots off from. I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself...” (Plath 83)

Esther wanted Freedom over her whole life, and being a childbearing housewife would not help her do that.

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Stuart A. Kallen describes that public media began to show consumerism within couples/families through mention/images of appliances and other material goods.

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(“17 Ridiculous Dating Etiquette Rules from the 1950s”)

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This graphic shows the use of a record player. Music and dancing were large parts of teen culture and dating in the 1950s.

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The 1950s were a time of exploration is sexuality for teens and young adults. However,

“Heavy petting was the limit for most couples, and for those who went ‘all the way’ there were often strong guilt feelings and, for the girl at least, the risk of a bad reputation” (Kallen 144).

This was caused by the lack of sexual education at the time by parents and schools. Kallen also mentions that teens in the 1950’s were innocent about sex and were often mislead when it came to the idea of how conception worked between couples.

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See how you would do in the 1950s dating scene.

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Think dating in the modern day is hard? It's nothing compared to the rules set forth in the 1950s! Do you think you can pass this 1950's dating test? Let's find out!

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(“17 Ridiculous Dating Etiquette Rules from the 1950s”)

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A photo of a young couple before a school dance.