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Empowering parents/carers to support their children's wellbeing

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Free, safe, anonymous online couselling and emotional wellbeing support service for 11-25 year olds in Hampshire with no referral.

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Kooth is your online mental wellbeing community. Access free, safe and anonymous

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For local and national support on mental wellbeing

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children and young people’s mental health

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Mental health support for a range of issues including debt, loss, urgent help and more.

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Provides free, 24/7 mental health support by text. Text HANTS to 85258

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24/7

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Ways to cope with upsetting events in the news

If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious or sad about what's going on in the news, know that you're definitely not alone. Here are some actions we can take to help us cope better through times like this.

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Online resources and support

However you're feeling right now, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you with your mental health.

Take a look at our resources, information and support, find further help or reach out to one of our volunteers.

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Shout - UK's 24/7 Crisis Text Service for Mental Health Support

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Shout 85258 is the UK's first 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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Our goal is to end Honour Based Abuse in the UK. We run a national helpline, offer training to professionals, gather data to inform policies and services, and campaign for change.

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What is Bullying and Harassment?

Bullying and Harassment can be defined in many different ways and can be described as unwanted conduct of behaviour designed to cause harm or distress to another person. It can be characterized as offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power through means intended to undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient. Bullying can be related to age, sex, race, disability, religion, sexual orientation, nationality or any personal characteristic of the individual, and maybe persistent or an isolated incident. The key is that the actions or comments are viewed as demeaning and unacceptable to the recipient.

Bullying falls under four main categories, psychological, Verbal, Physical and Cyberbullying and its effects can have far-reaching consequences. Bullying can have an impact on anyone, children and adults in school or at work. It can seriously affect someone's physical and mental health. Sustained bullying can cause stress, emotional issues, social problems, physical disorders and in some serious cases, self-harm or even death.

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Information and advice about all forms of bullying

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Bullying - Help and advice for adults and children affected by bullying at work, bullying at school or cyberbullying with information to help stop bullying

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You and your child may experience a real sense of loss, missing the company of the loved one who is in prison.

The typical "stages of grief" model may help you understand how your child reacts:

Your child may show signs of disbelief and laughter, and askif the person telling them the news is joking. In response, they may switch to auto-pilot and try to carry on as normal; or they may have an extreme reaction, sobbing uncontrollably.
Supporting your child through shock:
Do not appear alarmed at the child's response - especially if it seems inappropriate (eg laughter). It is important to reassure your child that feelings of numbness/disbelief are normal. When you are explaining the situation to the child, it is important to keep your language clear and simple so that there is no misunderstanding. Importantly, reassure the child that you are there for them and will listen to and answer their questions

Your child may not accept the loss and pretend that nothing has happened, refusing to believe that their family member is gone. This may result in them lying about the situation, to others and to themselves
Supporting your child through denial:
Give your child time to process and accept the truth - denial is a protective mechanism and the child will move passed this with time. It is also important to talk openly with the child - reassure them that they can talk to you about what has happened and that they won't get in trouble for asking questions about imprisonment

Your child may be mad at the world and blame others. They may get easily frustrated and over-reactive, blowing up over the smallest event. They may also use anger to cover up their hurt/sadness, and lash out at those not involved in the situation
Supporting your child through anger:
If they are hurting themselves/others, explain that whilst it is OK to feel angry, it is not OK to hurt themselves/others. You could encourage your child to have an outlet for their anger in a safe way - eg exercise (running) or hitting a pillow. It is important to reassure the child that they should not feel guilty about being angry at their imprisoned family member - this is a natural response and does not mean that they do not love their family member. It is also key that you remain constant and do not get upset if they get angry towards you: this will reinforce the fact that you are there to support them no matter what.

Your child may try and "make deals" to change the situation - e.g "if Dad comes back I will be good forever" or "if I make the house clean and tidy, Mum will come back"
Supporting your child through bargaining:
Explain that there is nothing they can do that will bring their loved one back - the family member is not in prison because of them and therefore they can't do anything to get them out of prison. Be aware that even in spite of your reassurances, your child may continue to bargain as it makes them feel that they are doing something helpful for their loved one.

Guilt can be seen as anger turned inwards - your child may blame themselves for their family member's imprisonment.

Your child may also feel guilt for any enjoyment they feel, either because they think they shouldn't be happy whilst their loved one is away, or because they feel they shouldn't be happy if their loved one isn't happy - eg feeling guilty for enjoying an ice-cream when Dad can't enjoy an ice cream in prison
Supporting the child through guilt:
Reassurance is key for feelings of guilt - it is important to tell them that they are not to blame. It may also be helpful to explore with your child how and why they feel responsible, and then respond to their reasons by explaining how and why they are not responsible. It is also helpful to encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling/what they are thinking

You may see signs of depression in your child - they may not want to be with their friends, they may withdraw and refuse to go to school, they may continuously cry, and there may be significant changes in their appetite and sleep patterns.
Supporting the child through depression:
Ensure that your child knows that their feelings are important - especially as they may have low self-esteem and feelings of worth. It is also helpful if you can encourage your child to participate in their usual hobbies, sports and existing friendships. It is important to note that there is a difference between showing signs of depression and suffering with depression, and if you become concerned about the child's mental health, you should talk to a GP.

This is where the child acknowledges and believes that the loss is real, and they show signs of being willing to move on - e.g "My brother isn't here anymore" and "I am going to be OK".
Supporting the child through acknowledgment:
Help your child to understand that it is OK to become interested in life again and that this is not disrespectful to their imprisoned family member. You can also reassure the child that although things have changed, this does not mean that they won't have a happy life or an exciting future ahead of them.

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We often hear from parents and carers who are struggling with what to tell their children when a loved one goes to prison. Often they are torn between wanting to hide the truth from the children to “protect” them, and the desire to be open and honest with their children. Here you can fin…

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Barnardos. Children with a parent in prison

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Barnardos. Children with a parent in prison

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Children who have a parent in prison can feel isolated and ashamed and most feel unable to talk about it because they’re scared of being bullied. Read more.

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This factsheet explains what a non-molestation order is, how it can protect victims of domestic abuse, and how to apply for one.

Men's Advice Line evaluation survey

Have you spoken to our Advisors? Tell us about your experience

Take our survey

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Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men | Men's Advice Line UK

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The Men's Advice Line is for male victims of domestic abuse. We offer confidential advice, non-judgmental support, practical information and help

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Talk to Frank - honest information about drugs

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Talk to Frank - honest information about drugs

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Find out everything you need to know about drugs, their effects and the law. Talk to Frank for facts, support and advice on drugs and alcohol today. | FRANK

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Helping Children to Understand Domestic Abuse

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Helping Children to Understand Domestic Abuse

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We help all those affected by domestic abuse by providing innovative and unique services. We work to ensure that victims are supported to recover and perpetrators are supported to change their behaviour.

Do you need support and advice or safe and secure accommodation?

We offer a confidential support service, simply call or email today:

If you are in an emergency situation

If it is unsafe for you to speak on the phone, after dialling 999 just press 55 for the silent solution.

You can also text 999.

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On Thursday 30 November from 2:30am - 7:30am, you won't be able to contact Childline whilst we do some important maintenance to our systems. This means that 1-2-1 chats, calling and messages to Childline will be unavailable. You'll still be able to use the Childline website for advice and information.

If you're in danger or it's an emergency, you should always call 999

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Get help and advice about a wide range of issues, call us on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

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Celebrating 10 years of Talk PANTS!

Pantosaurus has helped 1.5 million parents Talk PANTS and keep their children safe from sexual abuse.

Developed in consultation with children, parents, carers and teachers, Talk PANTS is here to help children understand their body belongs to them, and they should tell a safe adult they trust if anything makes them feel upset or worried.

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Our PANTS activity pack makes it easy to talk to your child about staying safe from harm. With a word search, dot-to-dot and maze game, you can help them learn without using any scary words.

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Definition of terms 'asylum seeker' and 'refugee'

In most countries a person must apply for asylum before they are recognised as a refugee. An asylum seeker is someone who arrives in a new country and makes an asylum application. It is then up to the Government to decide if their claim meets the definition of a refugee, as below.

The 1951 United Nations Convention on Refugees defines a refugee as someone who has fled their country due to 'a well founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion'.

Hampshire has relatively few asylum seekers and refugees, although the numbers have risen significantly since 2016. This means that many of them are isolated and very vulnerable. Schools will need to be flexible in their approach and should seek the advice of EMTAS regarding appropriate provision.

Who are unaccompanied asylum seeking children/young people (UASC)?

An unaccompanied asylum seeker (UASC) is a person who, at the time of making their asylum application, is under 18 years of age or who, in the absence of documentary evidence, appears to be under that age and who is applying for asylum in his/her own right and is without adult family member(s) or guardian(s) to turn to in this country. A child is not unaccompanied if he/she is being cared for by an adult prepared to take responsibility for them.

Some of the children and young people seeking asylum attending schools in Hampshire will be unaccompanied. This means that they arrived in the UK without an adult family member or guardian accompanying them. Some of these children/young people will have been placed in Hampshire by another Local Authority. Many of these children and young people will have experienced trauma including the loss of their parents and/or siblings, or will have lived in war conditions. Schools receiving UASC should contact both EMTAS and the Virtual School for advice.

Safeguarding

Trafficked children/young people

Trafficking is when a child/young person is moved either within a country or into a new country for the purpose of exploiting them. They may be controlled by harm, including physical and sexual abuse, or threats of harm to themselves or their family. Fear of Voodoo or Juju may also be used. They are made to work to pay back the cost of their travel to the UK - their debt bond. Children and young people who are not trafficked do not have this debt as usually a family member paid for their travel to the UK before they left their country of origin.

Some of the asylum seeking and/or refugee children and young people in Hampshire schools will have been trafficked. Usually they will already have been identified as trafficked before starting their education in Hampshire. In these cases, detailed information will have been given to the school by the child/young person's social worker on how to keep them safe whilst at school. All UASC will be assumed to have been trafficked until proved otherwise in order to safeguard them.

Occasionally, a child/young person may not already have been identified as trafficked prior to commencing their education in Hampshire. If any school has suspicions that an asylum seeker/refugee may have been trafficked they should immediately report their concerns to the child/young person's social worker, if they have one. If they do not currently have a social worker, Hampshire's Child Protection team should be contacted. They will then initiate a multiagency response to keep the child/young person safe including notifying the Willow team, Social Care, the police, the Home Office and Barnardo's Child Trafficking Advocacy Service. If appropriate a referral will be made to the National Referral Mechanism. The school will be kept fully informed of any strategies that they need to use to keep the child/young person safe.

Inducting an asylum seeking child/young person or refugee into your school

The way that an asylum seeking child/young person is inducted into their new school is key to their future success in education in the UK. It is essential to plan their induction carefully as early as possible. If it is not clear whether a particular child/young person is an asylum seeker/refugee or not it is advisable to proceed with induction as if they may be as much of the following advice is good practice in the induction of any child/young person entering the UK education system from abroad.

As soon as a school knows or suspects that it is to admit an asylum seeking child/young person it should start the process of collecting as much information about the child/young person as possible. In the case of an UASC this process will be part of an Education Planning Meeting (EPM) set up by one of the agencies involved in supporting the UASC such as the Virtual School. A referral to EMTAS should also be made at this stage.

It is also important to try and find out if the child/young person has been to school before in their country of origin. It is quite common for UASCs to have very fragmented education or no formal education prior to coming to the UK. Children/young people who are accompanied may also have experienced disruption to their education due to the situation in their country of origin meaning that regular school attendance may not have been possible.

Decisions then need to be made about which year group to place the child/young person in (in most cases this will be their chronological year group) and which groups or sets to place them in (middle to higher are recommended). For secondary aged asylum seekers/refugees their timetable and subject choices (if applicable) also needs to be considered. Thought also needs to be given to what type of support the child/young person will need. EMTAS can advise schools about this if required.

Pastoral/Welfare

It is important to recognise that asylum seeking/refugee children and young people will almost certainly be showing signs of trauma, particularly if they are UASC. They may have witnessed horrific events. In the case of UASCs, their parents and other family members may have been killed or the children/young people may not know if they are dead or alive. The journey to the UK will also have been quite traumatic in many cases. All asylum seeking/refugee children and young people are also having to cope with living in a new country where they initially may know no-one, learning a new language and starting school possibly for the first time in their lives. They may be living with people who do not share their cultural background, language or religion.

Schools can play an important part by providing stability and a normal routine for asylum seeking/refugee children and young people. It is important that class teachers, subject teachers and any other relevant staff are aware that these children and young people may be suffering from the effects of trauma, loss, separation and change and that this may affect their behaviour in school as well as at home.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Maslow's hierarchy illustrates the psychological needs that asylum seeking children and young people will have on their arrival at their new school. It is worth noting that cognitive needs are a long way up the pyramid. It is therefore unlikely that a newly arrived child/young person will achieve or be motivated to achieve academically if their needs lower down the pyramid are not met. The quality of the pastoral and welfare support provided by the school is therefore of utmost importance.

Assessment

There is no single 'test' that schools can administer on admission to assess a newly arrived asylum seeking child/young person or refugee. The assessment process needs to be on-going and ideally initiated within the first two weeks of admission. This will enable appropriate provision to be offered and appropriate learning targets put in place. It is good practice to review the progress and placement of the pupil at least termly.

EMTAS will complete an initial assessment following a referral by a school which will include a Profile Report detailing the pupil's level of proficiency in their home language, an initial assessment of their level of proficiency in English and background information including their past educational experiences. Academies who have not bought into EMTAS will incur a charge for this service.

Actions to take following the completion of the child/young person's Profile Report

Once complete, the profiling process will have identified the areas where the child/young person will need additional support. The school can now decide how to provide this support and should start to provide it as soon as practicable. EMTAS can provide schools with further advice on appropriate support if required. For UASCs some of this support could be funded through the Pupil Premium Plus grant. Other asylum seekers/refugees may qualify for Pupil Premium if their family is receiving support under Part VI of the Immigration and Asylum Act 1999. The child/young person's need for support will change over time so it is important to review the support on offer regularly to check that it is still needed and appropriate.

EMTAS is able to provide a range of types of support for pupils in maintained schools and academies who have bought in to the service. Other academies are able to purchase support if required.

Support available from EMTAS

Hampshire EMTAS can:

provide detailed guidance on asylum seeker/refugee issues including admission to schools/colleges, teaching and learning, pastoral advice, resources, useful contacts

provide a bilingual assistant to translate or interpret

conduct an initial assessment, including writing a Profile Report detailing the pupil's previous education and current achievement levels to enable early and correct placement

provide advice on appropriate teaching strategies

provide advice on the best course of action regarding GCSE choices/other courses when admitting pupils into Year 10 or Year 11

provide in-class support for the child/young person

provide training for school staff

loan the school resources such as bilingual dictionaries, bilingual storybooks for primary aged children and ICT resources such as Talking Pens.

Parents

Entitlement to compulsory education

Children/young people who are asylum seekers or refugees have the right to free education. This includes young people aged 16-19 who are entitled to attend school sixth forms or Further Education(FE) colleges.

School admission

Schools must by law treat any application from a child/young person seeking asylum in the same way as any other application. The fact that the child/young person may speak little or no English does not matter.

Free school meals

If your family has been issued with vouchers from the National Asylum Support Service (NASS) then your child is entitled to free school meals (and milk, where provided).

School uniform

Schools may be able to provide you with some school uniform items for your child.

At the discretion of Hampshire Local Education Authority school uniform grants may be available.

At school

Please ask the school to obtain a bilingual dictionary for use in school.

If you have a problem or are worried about your child's education, please speak to the class teacher or form tutor.

At home

Continue to use your own language at home. Children who speak their first language well will become better speakers and users of English. Talk to your child about their lessons. This will help your child to understand more.

Unaccompanied asylum seeker children FAQs

Information for Unaccompanied Asylum Seeking children

This booklet "Welcome to Hampshire" was written for unaccompanied asylum-seeking children and young people. Their carers may also find it useful as it contains a wealth of information about life in the UK.

The following document was produced jointly with the Virtual School to help clarify how to access support and pupil premium funding for asylum seekers and refugee pupils: EMTAS and Virtual School UASC Support options

Audio files

You can listen to audio sections of the Welcome to Hampshire booklet being read aloud in English, Arabic, Farsi or Pashto.

Good practice guidelines/other useful documents

From 1 November 2017, the government published a strategy setting out their commitments to safeguard and promote the welfare of unaccompanied asylum seeking and refugee children. Statutory guidance around unaccompanied migrant children, who may be victims, or potential victims, of modern slavery was published at the same time, together with DfE responses to the latest consultation around the care of unaccompanied-asylum-seeking-and-refugee-children.

Links to all of these documents can be found below:

To read more about best practice in relation to refugees and asylum seekers, see the Hampshire EMTAS blog.

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Definition of terms 'asylum seeker' and 'refugee' In most countries a person must apply for asylum before they are recognised as a refugee. An asylum seeker is someone who arrives in a new country and makes an asylum application. It is then up to the Government to decide if their claim meets the definition of a refugee, as below.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who:
1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC)
2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder
4. Have behaviour that challenges
5. Are teenagers displaying anti-social behaviour including child to parent violence

We offer the following programmes with wrap-around support:
Cygnet (for ASC) Core programme, with additional supporting siblings and puberty, sexual health and relationships modules
The Parent Factor for ADHD
Family Links The Nurture Programme
Teen Positive Parenting Programme
Talking Teens

Parents and carers can self enrol on to a parenting programme or can be referred by a health, education or early help professional.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who: 1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC) 2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) 3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder 4. Have behaviour that challenges 5.

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Sharing stories about various situations can put a child's mind at ease and make transitions and new experiences easier to cope with and more understandable. When a book might help is a list of story books suitable for this purpose.

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Sharing stories about various situations can put a child's mind at ease and make transitions and new experiences easier to cope with and more understandable. When a book might help is a list of story books suitable for this purpose.

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Hampshire Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities

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Hampshire Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities

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Family Information and Services Hub

Breadcrumb trail

Home

Hampshire's Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and / or Disabilities

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Latest News

Over 90% of families in Hampshire organise their own journeys to school. They walk, cycle, use public transport, lift-share with other families or take their child to school in the family car. Have a look at Hampshire County Council's Travel to school page for ideas and information. For a minority...

100% of school leaders believe that food and diet can affect cognitive function and children's learning progress, according to the latest survey results from HC3S, Hampshire's main school lunch provider. 90% of schools value HC3S as a partner in supporting nutrition at school, so find out more about how HC3S...

We would like to hear from young people in Hampshire about what you would like to see on this website. What information would be helpful for you that's not on here? What do you like about this website? What do you not like about this website? Any feedback...

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Last Updated: 23 June 2023

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Family Information and Services Hub | Hampshire's Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and / or Disabilities

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Your Local Offer - Information and services available in Hampshire for children and young people (birth to 25) who have Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities (SEND) The Local Offer includes information about education, health, social care, preparation for adulthood, leisure services and impartial information advice and support....

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Family Support (FISH) - Hampshire County Council

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Family Support (FISH) - Hampshire County Council

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Family Information and Services Hub

Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have.

If you are seriously concerned about a child you should contact this number without delay: Childrens Services 0300 555 1384 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) - out of hours 0300 555 1373. If it's an emergency and a child is in immediate danger, call 999

To help you access support, talk to someone from any of the support services who is already in contact with your family. This might be a health visitor, teacher or a community worker. They will discuss your concerns and help you access the right support.

Our staff will be able to advise you on the most appropriate support dependent on the needs of your family.

Coronavirus Support
See Downloads on right of this page for Domestic Abuse support during Covid-19 pandemic
ORCHA assesses health apps for the NHS and they have launched a Covid-19 resource page where you can search for the best health and wellbeing apps available.

The Government has released helpful guidance on supporting children and young people's mental health and wellbeing during the coronavirus outbreak . This provides detailed information about how different ages may react to the current situation and different support available.

Last Updated: 18 August 2023

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Family Information and Services Hub | Family Support

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Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have. If you are seriously concerned...

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Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and Barnardos are working together to deliver the Healthy Child Programme throughout Hampshire. This website provides details for access to health visiting and school nursing services, workshops for healthy eating and support with post-natal depression.

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Let's Talk About It. Directory of support services in Hampshire and nationally

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Let's Talk About It. Directory of support services in Hampshire and nationally

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Access for information about:

Domestic Abuse
Hampshire Domestic Abuse Service
Providing crisis accommodation and community based support across the county. The Hampshire Domestic Abuse Service is provided by Stop Domestic Abuse and The Hampton Trust and funded by Hampshire County Council and Police and Crime Commissioner for Hampshire.

Hampshire Drug Support Service Inclusion - 0300 124 0103

Hampshire Drug Support Service Catch 22 -
Womens National 24 hour Domestic Violence Helpline
Run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge, this is a national service for women experiencing domestic violence, their family, friends, colleagues and others calling on their behalf.

Advice and support for men experiencing domestic violence and abuse.

Isle of Wight Domestic Abuse support.
Hampshire Police Safeguarding Team call 101
Southern Domestic Abuse Service
Southern Domestic Abuse Service provides services to women, children, young people and men who have experienced or who are experiencing domestic abuse in their relationships.
You First Hampshire Integrated Domestic Violence and Abuse Service
You First aspires to a world free of domestic violence and abuse and we are dedicated to developing and delivering services that reduce harm and increase safety for all victims and survivors of domestic abuse - women, men and children.

We do this by offering community and accommodation based services that are easy to access and give expert holistic information, advice and emotional support to ensure safety and build confidence to move on. We believe we work best when we work together with people sharing knowledge and information, learning from their lived experiences and delivering services that are meaningful.
Safer Portsmouth Partnership One Minute Guide to Domestic Abuse
A registered charity giving safety, support, advocacy, and empowerment to survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking. 24/7 helpline number: 02394 216 816.
Galop LGBT+ anti-violence charity
National Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans+ Domestic Abuse Helpline 0800 999 5428
Stonewall: Domestic violence and abuse - resources for LGBT people

Ending Violence Against Sex Workers

Drug and Alcohol Recovery Service (Substance Misuse)

Working with those whose lives are affected by the use of drugs and / or alcohol, including both Service Users and Carers/Families.
Portsmouth Recovery Hub
Drug and alcohol services in Portsmouth can help you stop or cut down. Recovery from drugs and alcohol problems are achievable. It is much easier with support. There are a range of services including drop in sessions, peer support groups, specialist counselling and community group sessions to help you.

Portsmouth Recovery Hub Contact Number - 023 9229 4573

Portsmouth Drugs And Alcohol Support Service (DASS) Contact Number - 07951 497898
Southampton Drug and Alcohol Recovery Service
The Southampton Drug and Alcohol Recovery Service provides a life changing, personalised substance misuse recovery service for people living in Southampton. Experienced health professionals working within the service will fully support the needs of people with drug and alcohol problems, and will work with the individual to provide them with the best care.

Southampton Change Grow Live (CGL) contact number - 02380 717171

Southampton DASH contact number - 02380 224 224
Inclusion Isle Of Wight
We offer a free and confidential service to residents on the Isle of Wight.

Isle Of Wight Inclusion Contact Number : 01983 526654

Sexual Abuse
Womens National 24 hour Domestic Violence Helpline
Run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge, this is a national service for women experiencing domestic violence, their family, friends, colleagues and others calling on their behalf.

Advice and support for men experiencing domestic violence and abuse.

Sexual Assault
The Treetops Centre
The Treetops Centre is our Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) based in a discreet and secure location in Portsmouth. This service is available to all people living in Hampshire and Isle of Wight. All our staff are specially trained to provide sensitive and well informed support in a non-judgmental manner.

Counselling Services
PARCS (Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service)
PARCS provides free specialist counselling and psychotherapy to women and men, aged 5+ who are resident in Portsmouth and South East Hampshire and who have experienced any form of sexual violation at any time in their lives.

Supporting individuals and communities across South West Hampshire, covering Southampton, Eastleigh, Test Valley (South), New Forest and the Isle of Wight.
RASAC (Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling Service)
The Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling service (RASAC) offers a free, confidential listening and support service for women and men who have been raped and/or sexually abused at any time in their lives, or for anyone who wants to talk about the effects of any unwanted sexual encounter.
START (Central, West and North Hampshire Sexual Trauma Service)
START is a new sexual trauma service, operating across Central, West and North Hampshire, bringing together the previous RASAC (Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling Service) supporting Central, West and North Hampshire and BRASACC (Basingstoke Rape and Sexual Abuse Crisis Centre), also operating in the North of the county.

Stop Smoking Services

Smokefree Hampshire Hampshire Stop Smoking Service

Portsmouth Wellbeing Service Portsmouth City Stop Smoking Service

Public Health Wellbeing Service Isle of Wight Stop Smoking Service

Weight Management

Hampshire County Council offers a free 12-week Weight Watchers weight management course for those who are 18+ and living in Hampshire County Council area and/or are registered with a Hampshire GP practice. Residents meeting the criteria can either self-refer or can be referred by their GP. WW will help people identify their BMI when they telephone to access the service.

Anyone who doesn't meet the eligibility criteria may like to access support available here.
The Wellbeing Service (Portsmouth)
The Wellbeing Service offers free support to help you quit smoking, drink less alcohol, eat well and move more. It's available at venues across Portsmouth.

You can contact the Wellbeing Service directly or be referred through your GP. Telephone 023 9229 4001 or email wellbeing@portsmouthcc.gov.uk.
Public Health Wellbeing Service Isle of Wight weight management service
Hate Crimes

A Hate Crime is any criminal offence which is perceived by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by hostility or prejudice based on a person's race or perceived race; religion or perceived religion; sexual orientation or perceived sexual orientation; disability or perceived disability and any crime motivated by hostility or prejudice against a person who is transgender or perceived to be transgender.

Find out more about Hate Crime, and how you can report it and There are also a large number of Third Party Reporting Centres across Hampshire where you can report a hate crime rather than going directly to the Police. Find your closest centre and more information.

Healthwatch

Healthwatch aims to represent the views and experiences of local people who use NHS services, carers and the public on the Health and Wellbeing Boards set up by local authorities. They will report any concerns about the quality of health and social care services to Healthwatch England, which we can then feed back to the Care Quality Commission (CQC) for them to take action. They can also provide information and signposting to people about local health and care services, how to access them and how to find their way round the system.
Healthwatch Hampshire Healthwatch Portsmouth Healthwatch Southampton Healthwatch Isle of Wight
Mental Health

Richmond Fellowship run a mental health day service, drop-in service and floating support in Newport. You can contact them on 0330 0083888.

Way Forward in Newport , supports local people with learning disabilities and mental health issues with work, housing and respite holidays. They can be contacted on 01983 523000.
Isle of Wight Community mental health services. Isle of Wight Crisis/urgent mental health services.

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Directory of Services - Let's Talk about It

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Access for information about: Hampshire Domestic Abuse Service Providing crisis accommodation and community based support across the county. The Hampshire Domestic Abuse Service is provided by Stop Domestic Abuse and The Hampton Trust and funded by Hampshire County Council and Police and Crime Commissioner for Hampshire.

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Helping parents and carers to understand the role of Educational Psychologists

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Make a change today! Discover healthy recipes, food swaps, nutritional advice, and top tips and activities to help the whole family stay healthy.

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Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and Barnardos are working together to deliver the Healthy Child Programme throughout Hampshire. This website provides details for access to health visiting and school nursing services, workshops for healthy eating and support with post-natal depression.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself.

It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.
Counselling is an appointment with the same counsellor every week, who will listen to you and help you explore how you are feeling. You decide if you would like counselling and how long you would like counselling for.
Our trained counsellors are friendly and welcoming and won't make judgements about you or your problems. Your counsellor will never tell you what to do.

We want to make sure our service is excellent and meets the needs of the children and young people who use it.

We ask for feedback from both children and young people, and from professionals. We review all the feedback we receive so that we can ensure that our service is continually improving, relevant and giving you what you need.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself. It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.

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Relate - Children & Young People's Counselling

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Relate - Children & Young People's Counselling

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Covering Hampshire and the Isle of Wight

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Counselling - Family Information & Services Hub

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Counselling - Family Information & Services Hub

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Counselling is a type of ''talking therapy'' and sometimes the term is used to refer to talking therapies in general.

Counselling allows a person to talk openly in a safe and confidential environment. Counsellors are trained to listen and help people to deal with negative thoughts, feelings, challenges and problems.

Counsellors can help with a range of issues including anxiety, depression, bereavement, self-esteem, relationships and life changes.

For parents and carers, it can be an opportunity to talk through their feelings related to their child's diagnosis, concerns for the future or a time to discuss ways through challenging situations.

For young people, counselling can give them a safe time to talk through things that are worrying them, how they feel about their diagnosis or perhaps even help them to make sense of the challenges that they may face in their lives.

Families may find that counselling allows them space to think about possible solutions, resolutions or ways of working together when challenges arise.

Different types of counselling are often given different names and this can be a little confusing.

Counselling can work in a range of different ways so the therapist should work to find a method that suits the client and makes the sessions beneficial.

Some therapists are trained in more than one method, so might combine these during the sessions.

You may hear terms such as ''Cognitive Behavioural Therapies'' (CBT), ''Mindfulness'' and ''Life Coaching'' mentioned when talking about ways in which counsellors work - there is more information on these and other talking therapies here

A young person's school/college or your GP should be able to help you access counselling services in your local area or you might want to search for counsellors yourself.

Many GP surgeries provide talking therapies but if yours doesn't then the GP may refer you to a local service. This factsheet on mental health issues looks at the services that are available across Hampshire.

Additionally, your GP might refer a young person to the local CAMHS service if they offer counselling, and might put carers in touch with a local carers' organisation if there is one. It is also possible to self-refer to CAMHS if you felt that your son/daughter may benefit from their support.

Some schools have therapists working alongside the teaching staff and often sessions take place in familiar surroundings, making some young people feel more at ease.

For some young people technology can provide an alternative way of accessing counselling/ therapy as they may find it easier to talk to someone on a website or through an app.

Before using any online service it is important that parents/ carers are able to check out the site and the qualifications of the counsellors.

Young Minds have a dedicated area, on their website, for young people. There is a lot of information about feelings and emotions as well as the chance to read about other people's journeys.

The Mix aims to take on the embarrassing problems, weird questions, and please-don't-make-me-say-it-out-loud thoughts that people under 25 have in order to give them the best support through digital and phone services.

The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BCAP) has an excellent website that provides lots of information on types of therapy, how to access support and what happens at a therapy session.

The first counselling session will probably focus on finding out what you want to work through, what you would like to achieve from the sessions and the way that the therapist works. The therapist might suggest different methods that may be helpful.

You will be given time to ask questions.

Counselling sessions are built upon a relationship of trust between the client and counsellor. They are not there to judge the young person/carer or their family but simply to help them work through their concerns and create a plan for moving forward.

It is important that the client feels comfortable with the counsellor as this will allow the sessions to be as successful as possible.

The following websites can help with finding therapists in your local area:

Counselling Directory was set up by a team who know how difficult it can be to find support. Through their own experiences of mental health issues, they have learnt how important having relevant information is and how the right support can help transform lives. Their team is passionate about counselling and we want to promote the huge benefits talk therapy can have. Their website is a confidential service that encourages those in need to seek help and to connect individuals with qualified counsellors in the UK. The site contains information on the common reasons people turn to counselling, as well as articles, news, and events.

The Hampshire Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (HACP) aims to put people and Counsellors / Psychotherapists in touch with each other.

There are a number of helpful links on the right of this page, which includes organisations that mightbe helpful for you:

Young Minds is the UK's leading charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people.

Relate - the UK's largest provider of relationship support

Youth Access - YIACS provide a holistic response to young people's social, emotional and mental health needs through a range of services provided 'under one roof', including social welfare advice, advocacy, counselling, health clinics, community education and personal support.

Off the Record - a free, confidential and friendly service, offering information, support and counselling for young people in South Hampshire.

CAMHS - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service Hampshire

italk is a FREE service for people suffering from depression and anxiety

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Counselling | Family Information and Services Hub

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Some young people with additional needs and/or their families find that speaking to someone about their concerns or how they are feeling can be extremely helpful. Trained counsellors can help people to talk about their experiences and hopefully start to make sense of them. They can also help to find…

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From Monday 26th July , we will be open for drop ins between midday and 4pm Monday to Thursday each week. We will be closed Fri, Sat & Sundays.

Drop ins mean you can come in without an appointment and get one to one support, career advice or access to free contraception (condoms) and pregnancy tests. Appointments such as counselling sessions etc. will be available outside of the 12-4pm window during the holiday. We are running a combination of online and in person sessions for counselling and career support depending on each individual situation.

​

Using our Contact Us page

youthinromsey.yir@gmail.com

Or give us a call on: 01794 500581

​

Summer youth activities in southern test valley...

"My counsellor is a great listener and has helped me look at certain aspects of my life in different ways and directions to help me overcome my personal problems."

Youth in Romsey is a support centre that offers a confidential advice, support and information service for young people from the ages of 6-25 years. We offer a variety of services including; counselling, careers advice, sexual health services, youth clubs and an open door to those who need our support.

Help us

provide the best

service to the

youth of Romsey and southern Test Valley

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Youth Services | Youth in Romsey | Romsey

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Youth in Romsey is a support centre that offers a confidential advice, support and information service for young people from the ages of 6-25 years. We offer a variety of services including; counselling, careers advice, sexual health services, youth clubs and much more.

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No Limits Advice Centre

No Limits Advice Centre

Given the continuing advice from the government for social distancing, we have made the difficult decision to close the Advice Centre to protect young people and our staff. This includes the DASH service and the Space 4 U service in Southampton and on the Isle of Wight.

Read more

We're still here if you need us

We're still here if you need us

We know this is a challenging time for many children and young people and we're still here to support you. You can call 02380 224224, email [email protected] or talk to a member of our team via our online web chat during our normal opening hours. Click here for the latest information on our services.

Find out more

Get Help

Get Help

No matter what's worrying you, we're here to help. All our staff are friendly and won't judge you or tell you what to do. We'll help you to make choices that are right for you.

Find out more

Tom's Story

Tom's Story

Tom was referred for counselling by his parents. He had a sister with disabilities and a recent diagnosis had a huge impact on the family. He was also very stressed with his school work. Counselling helped Tom lean some coping strategies and provide tools for managing stressful situations.

"The service was very kind and understanding. I felt I had support and someone to speak to and trust."

Find out more

About No Limits

No Limits is a charity offering free and confidential information, advice, counselling, advocacy and support to children and young people under the age of 26 in Southampton and Hampshire. Young people can come to No Limits for free support on a wide range of issues including housing, homelessness, debt, employment, relationships, sexual health, mental health and substance misuse. Support is offered at the No Limits Advice Centre in Central Southampton and through outreach work delivered in schools and colleges across Hampshire.

Find out more

We've helped

7,095

young people supported by No Limits this year

2,865

young people offered counselling

2,117

children and young people visited our Advice Centre

I've been coming here for over 2 years nearly and throughout all my issues with my partner No Limits has helped me so much, even through my prison sentence and now I'm finally sorting my life out they still don't hesitate to always help me. No Limits is 100% LEGEND

Nick

Latest News

We're still here if you need us

No Limits are still here to provide advice and support. If you are a child, young person or parent and you need support from a member of our team, you can phone 02380 224 224 or email [email protected]

Find out more

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Please read our Privacy Policy for more information OK

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Given the continuing advice from the government for social distancing, we have made the difficult decision to close the Advice Centre to protect young people and our staff. This includes the DASH service and the Space 4 U service in Southampton and on the Isle of Wight.

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You must make sure your child gets a full-time education that meets their needs (for example if they have special educational needs). You can send your child to school or educate them yourself.

Children must get an education between the school term after their 5th birthday and the last Friday in June in the school year they turn 16.

You'll be contacted by either:

the school - if your child is enrolled in school and does not turn up (even if they're only absent for a day)

the council's education welfare officer - if they think your child is not getting a suitable education at home

You can be prosecuted if you do not give your child an education. You'll normally get warnings and offers of help from the local council first.

You can get education and attendance information from your council.

When your child can miss school

You can only allow your child to miss school if either:

they're too ill to go in

you've got advance permission from the school

Holidays in term time

You have to get permission from the head teacher if you want to take your child out of school during term time.

You can only do this if:

you make an application to the head teacher in advance (as a parent the child normally lives with)

there are exceptional circumstances

It's up to the head teacher how many days your child can be away from school if leave is granted.

You can be fined for taking your child on holiday during term time without the school's permission.

School trips

Your child's school can ask you for a voluntary contribution to the cost of activities like school trips. They cannot stop your child from attending if you do not pay, but they should cancel the activity if there is not enough money to cover the cost of it.

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You can be prosecuted if your child has unauthorised absence from school - truancy, help with getting your child to school, and legal action to enforce school attendance

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA)

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA)

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Parents Guide to School Anxiety & Refusal

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Parents Guide to School Anxiety & Refusal

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It's normal for children and young people to feel worried about something that's happening at school - for example, when starting a new school or during exams. Sometimes, however, school can become challenging, stressful or distressing over a much longer period of time.

If your child is feeling anxious about school, or not able to go, it can be exhausting for both of you. Mornings in particular can become really stressful for the whole family, as you try to juggle your child's feelings alongside the need to get them to school and get on with your other responsibilities such as work. Even if you manage to get your child to the school gate, you might know how difficult they're going to find the day - or know that you'll be facing the same problem tomorrow morning.

If you're in this situation, we've got advice to help you explore what's going on with your child, make changes at school that can help, and find the support you need if your child can't go to school.

Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult.

Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school - such as bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer - can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.

For some young people, the school environment isn't right for them, and trying to fit into it can create a huge amount of stress. This might be the case if they are struggling with their mental health, or have a neurodiverse condition or Special Educational Need (SEN) such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. This can make the school environment anxiety-provoking and exhausting, especially if their condition or need is undiagnosed or not being well supported.

Young people might show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

saying they can't go

worrying a lot about small issues, such as having the right equipment for a lesson

feeling sick, or having stomach aches or headaches

not sleeping well

not doing schoolwork, or their grades dropping

being angry or upset, or acting out - at school or at home

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

It's often difficult for your child to articulate the problem. They may be in a heightened state of stress and not know why or feel able to explain. Your child probably wants to feel able to be in school, just as much as you want them to be there. In many cases it just doesn't feel possible.

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out what's making your child feel anxious, and the first step is often helping them to identify exactly what's worrying them. Once you understand the problem, you'll be in a much better position to make changes that can help.

Young people can find it hard to explain what's causing their feelings, and might not be able to answer direct questions like 'what's going on?' Using an anxiety iceberg can help to open up the conversation - giving you a more relaxed way of exploring together what's causing their anxiety.

Watch our video to find out how to make an anxiety iceberg with your child.

If you're making an anxiety iceberg with younger children, you might want to draw images on the iceberg, or encourage them to write simple words. With older children and teenagers, you can ask them to write key words and phrases on the iceberg, or do this as a mind map, with 'school' in the middle and all the things they're finding difficult around the outside.

Through this exercise, you might identify worries such as arriving at school, finding the environment noisy or overwhelming, finding lessons confusing, feeling lonely through the day, or feeling uncomfortable during specific subjects.

Once you understand what's going on for your child, you can use their anxiety iceberg or mind map to communicate with the school and ask for specific changes.

Follow these steps to start a conversation with the school:

Here are some examples of things you can ask the school for:

Remember that even though this situation can be really tough for you and your child, it's a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with the school. Recognise the support they're offering and any changes they're making. This will help you work together to make things better for your child.

Building a relationship with the attendance team at my son's school was hugely helpful, we were talking with them each day.

If your child isn't going to school at the moment, it might feel incredibly stressful and tiring. You might be worried about when they will be able to get back to school or the impact on their education. Or you might feel overwhelmed because you're juggling this alongside work and other family commitments. Things are probably feeling tough for your child too.

During this time, it's important to keep working with teachers and other staff to try strategies that can help your child get back to school. Keep encouraging them to take achievable steps towards attending too. When the right support is in place, it's often easier for a young person to get back into their usual routine if they can return to school as quickly as possible.

If your child's anxiety about school has built up to the point where they can't go, it's a good idea to get them some professional mental health or SEN support. Find out how to do this further down the page.

Alongside requesting professional help, try to:

The school's SEN and attendance policies should be on their website. Knowing what these are can support you during meetings with the school.

This can help if your child is unable to go to school for a longer period of time and you need to ask for more support, including provision of alternative full-time education.

Encourage your child to get up, do some studying and stop for lunch at the same times they would if they were in school. This will make adapting back to school easier. Explain to your child that if they cannot go to school, they will need to study at home - at least until alternative arrangements are put in place. Ask the school to help you facilitate tasks and activities your child can do and use online resources such as BBC Bitesize.

Not going to school could leave your child feeling really isolated. Make sure they stay connected to the outside world by seeing friends and family, doing activities they enjoy and getting outside for walks and exercise.

Speaking to friends online can be really important if your child is feeling isolated at home. Sometimes, however, you might notice that your child is spending lots of time gaming or on their phone, and that this is getting in the way of important daily activities like spending quality time with family, learning, or sleeping and eating well. If this is becoming a problem, have a look at our guide to gaming or guide to social media for more information and advice.

Local authorities must provide alternative education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school over a longer period of time. If your child cannot attend school because of a mental or physical health issue, the local authority should provide an alternative as soon as it is clear that they will be away from school for more than 15 days (either consecutively or over time). Find out how to request alternative education.

Getting back to school after weeks or months may feel extremely difficult for your child, but you and the school can help make it more manageable. Here are some things you can do to help:

Set small, achievable targets, such as visiting the building outside school hours or attending one lesson.

Request a home visit from a school staff member so your child can check in while feeling safe, see that the school cares and discuss any strategies that might help them.

Ask for a reduced timetable, with regular reviews to discuss building back up at a manageable rate.

Discuss changing classes or sets if your child thinks this would help.

Focus on qualifications needed for what your child wants to do next, perhaps dropping a less relevant GCSE to reduce stress.

My son wasn't questioned about his absence when he did feel able to pop in for favourite lessons, helping to ease him back into full days of education.

If your child is struggling with anxiety and it's affecting their day-to-day life, learning or relationships, it's a good idea to find some professional support. Speaking to the GP and finding them a counsellor or therapist are two good places to start. You can find more information about GPs, counsellors and other mental health services in our guide to getting support from mental health services.

If there is no other obvious reason for your child's inability to attend school, they may have an undiagnosed Special Educational Need (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism or ADHD.

If you think this is the case:

Speak to the school's SENCO or your GP to ask for a referral for an assessment.

While you are waiting for an assessment, you can also ask the SENCO to refer your child for support from other professionals, such as an Educational Psychologist or Speech and Language Therapist. These professionals can identify specific needs and make recommendations for additional support the school can put in place - even if your child hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet.

SEN support at school
If your child is diagnosed with SEN, extra support and adjustments should be put in place at school to help them attend and learn. This is called SEN support, and should be available within the school's existing resources. Speak to the school's SENCO in the first instance about how the school will support your child.
Education, Health and Care (EHC) plans
If you do not think your child's needs can be met by the school's existing resources, you can ask the local authority to carry out an Education, Health and Care needs assessment (EHC needs assessment). If the local authority decides your child needs additional support, they will then make an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC plan). This outlines how the extra support they need will be provided. Find out more about EHC plans.
Your Local Offer
Your Local Offer is the information, support and services available for young people with SEN, and for their parents and families. You can find out what support is available in your area by going to your local authority's website and searching for their Local Offer.

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

We have more tips and advice on supporting your child with school, and information about how you can get in touch with our Parents Helpline.
This page was reviewed in December 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with school anxiety. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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School Anxiety and Refusal | Parent Guide to Support

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If your child is anxious about school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support their mental health.

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Are you feeling sad or worried about school?

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Are you feeling sad or worried about school?

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Campaigning for change

We fight to change laws to make society safer for children. Our Wild West Web campaign has pushed for new regulations through the Online Safety Bill to make sure websites, apps and games are safe for children to use. But the draft Bill doesn't go far enough to protect children.
Help us end the Wild West Web

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Understanding online safety is tricky for all ages - we have advice and guides to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

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Welcome to the UK Safer Internet Centre, where you can find online safety tips, advice and resources to help children and young people stay safe online.

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Promoting Online Safety for Children - The Children's Society

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Promoting Online Safety for Children - The Children's Society

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Promoting online safety for children | The Children’s Society

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Understanding online safety and the risks of being online, including grooming and bullying, is vital to keeping children safe online.

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What we do

Help & advice

Helpful information and guidance on a range of key online safety topics.

The Childnet Film Competition 2024 is open!

Do you know any young people aged 7-18 who are passionate about film? Can they tell a good story, create animation or inspire positive change? Would they like to make a short film about online safety?
Then enter the competition now!

Download brand new interactive resource ReelLife!

An interactive resource to help young people aged 9-14 identify the potential risks of social media.
Check out the resource...

Try out the Childnet Digital Leaders Programme today!

A youth leadership training programme empowering young people to educate their peers about online safety.
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Blog

The latest advice and guidance on key online safety issues, as well as information on the latest apps and games.

Free resources to help you teach about online safety.

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Childnet - Online safety for young people

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Helping make the internet a great and safe place for children and young people.

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What parents need to know about age appropriate content

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What parents need to know about age appropriate content

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What parents need to know about age-inappropriate content

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What parents need to know about setting up smart devices

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What parents need to know about setting up smart devices

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What parents need to know about smart devices

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Single parent families often deal with many challenges. Children in single parent families face around twice the risk of poverty as those in couple parent families. Single parent households are particularly affected by employment barriers and welfare reform.

Managing family life as a single parent can be difficult at times. Coming to terms with a divorce, break-up or bereavement can affect both single parents' and children's well-being. When parents split up, children are more likely to thrive if they have a good quality relationship with both parents - provided it is safe and both parents want to be involved.

Being the main carer is often not just financially or practically difficult, but it can also take an emotional toll on single parents. And despite progress, single parents still tell us they experience social stigma and stereotyping - from the general public and service providers, as well as the media and politicians.

The proportion of families with children headed by single parents has remained at around 25 per cent for over a decade - the figure currently stands at 22.7% (i)

On average, there are fewer children in single parent families than couple parent families: over half (54.5%) of single parent families have only one child (ii)

Research shows that single parents face a particular risk of loneliness (iii)

On average, single parenthood lasts around five years (iv)

Our position

Single parents are part of mainstream family life, yet this is not fully recognised by policymakers, employers and businesses.

Single parents do a great job. There's little evidence that family structure itself affects child outcomes. Parental conflict, rather than partnership status, is damaging for children. Money also matters for children's well-being, particularly those in financial hardship.

Gingerbread supports collaborative parenting, when this is possible - it's normally in the best interests of children that they are raised by both parents, whether or not they live together.

For the small minority (circa 10 per cent) of contact arrangements made in court, we believe it is vital to retain the principle of making decisions based first and foremost on the child's best interests.

Our goals for change

Gingerbread wants to see families of all types valued and treated equally and fairly. Single parents should be able to make the same choices and access the same support as other parents, covering everything from work and study, to discounted energy tariffs and family deals.

We want to see genuinely family-friendly government policy which supports, rather than penalises single parent families. This includes proper investment in relationship support across family types.

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Families and relationships policy work - Gingerbread

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Skip to content Single parent families often deal with many challenges. Children in single parent families face around twice the risk of poverty as those in couple parent families. Single parent households are particularly affected by employment barriers and welfare reform. Managing family life as a single parent can be difficult at times.

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Relate has local Centres across England and Wales. The services each Centre provides vary based on the needs of local communities. They often include relationship counselling for partners and individuals; sex therapy; family counselling; counselling for children and young people - and lots more.

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Are you worried about your co-parenting arrangements given Coronavirus restrictions?

If you are worried about your co-parenting arrangements and struggle with communication in view of the Coronavirus restrictions, we can help you talk about what you can do now to reduce the impact of the restrictions on your family life.

We can offer an online video consultation with an expert family mediator to help you make new or changed plans to help you get through the challenges ahead.

Contact us for a consultation or book an appointment using this link.

Or use this link to find out more about the advantages of using family mediation.

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Co-parenting through the Coronavirus crisis - National Family Mediation

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Are you worried about your co-parenting arrangements given Coronavirus restrictions? If you are worried about your co-parenting arrangements and struggle with communication in view of the Coronavirus restrictions, we can help you talk about what you can do now to reduce the impact of the restrictions on your family life.

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Supporting Children Through Divorce or Separation - Video

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Supporting Children Through Divorce or Separation - Video

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Supporting children through divorce or parental separation | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

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If you're worried about how your relationship break-up might affect your child, here is our advice on how you can support them through the process.

Guide Menu for Divorce and separation

Guide contents (jump to section)

How can I help my child?

Every child and young person's experience with the loss of their known family unit will be unique, but it can sometimes cause intense emotional distress.

In the immediate aftermath of a break-up, children's early responses can involve a number of defence behaviours, including: denial, disbelief, dissociation, hyperactivity, irritability and protest, alarm and panic. Over time, children may experience grief and display behaviours and emotions that indicate yearning and pining, sadness and depression, anger and hostility, anxiety, guilt, shame and despair. Even if children feel relieved at a family break-up where violence is a significant factor, most children will still feel some loss and grief.

There are things you can do to improve the way your child copes with the changes going on around them.

Things that may really make a difference:

Download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation

For more information and advice, you can download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation. The guide includes:

information about how children of different age groups may react to - and cope with - their parents divorcing or separating

advice on how you can support your child through a parental break-up

a list of helplines and services you can use

Parental alienation and emotional abuse

A parent who turns their child against their other parent by bad-mouthing, belittling the other adult, limiting contact between them, forbidding discussion about them, creating the impression the parent does not love the child or forcing the child to reject the parent is becoming increasingly common and can do significant damage to children's mental health.

The Chief Executive of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS), Anthony Douglas, recommended in February 2017 that parents who use this type of 'alienation' should be considered guilty of neglect or emotional abuse.

You may also find helpful...

Where to get help

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Divorce & Young People's Mental Health | Parent Guide

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If you're worried about how your relationship break-up might affect your child, here is our advice on how you can support them through the process. Guide Menu for Divorce and separation Guide contents (jump to section) How can I help my child?

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A child can't be forced to see the non-resident parent but if there's a court order in place, the resident parent must follow the agreed arrangements.

It's really important that you ask your child and explore what's bothering them before you think about stopping contact with a parent or another family member.

Both parents should work towards helping the child feel safe and happy in their care. A child's feelings are important but contact should be encouraged as long as it does not place them at harm.

If a young person doesn't feel their voice is being heard, they can contact an advocacy service such as NYAS, which helps young people in England and Wales express their wishes.

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Divorce and separation can be hard, but it's important that your child gets the right support. Know your rights and get advice on helping your child.

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Cafcass - Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service

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Parenting together

If you're splitting up, divorcing, or you've been separated for a while, you might find that sorting out the practicalities can feel overwhelming, especially if you have children. But helpful tools and information are available on the Cafcass website that can support you and your family.

Our section on how to co-parent can help guide you through some of the ways to reduce conflict and understand the needs of your children and how to make the best decisions for them.

We are actively working with partners in the court system to identify solutions to help reduce the increasing pressures on the family courts and to improve the experiences and outcomes for children and families. This section may support you to avoid going to court by providing tools to reduce conflict and make arrangements that both co-parents are happy with.

What to expect from Cafcass

Cafcass works with families only at the request of the court. After the court has received the application from either you or the other parent or carer, the court will usually refer the application to us. Our 'family court case' section outlines the role of Cafcass in court proceedings and what can be expected at hearings.

Cafcass works with families only at the request of the court. After the court has received the application from either you or the other parent [...]

This section helps separated families co-parent better. It provides information on how you can make arrangements for your children. We have collected resources that we [...]

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Divorce and separation - Cafcass - Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service

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If you're splitting up, divorcing, or you've been separated for a while, you might find that sorting out the practicalities can feel overwhelming, especially if you have children. But helpful tools and information are available on the Cafcass website that can support you and your family.

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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You can choose how to make arrangements for looking after your children if you separate from your partner.

You and your ex-partner can usually avoid going to court hearings if you agree on:

where the children will live

how much time they'll spend with each parent

how you'll financially support your children

You can use a solicitor if you want to make your agreement legally binding.

You can agree on child maintenance at the same time or separately.

Get help agreeing

You can make a Parenting Plan with your ex-partner or use a mediator.

You can also get help and information from:

If you cannot agree on everything

You can ask a court to decide anything you cannot agree after mediation or getting other help.

You must show you've attended a meeting to see if mediation is right for you before applying to a court. You will not have to in certain cases, for example if there's been domestic abuse or social services are involved.

You will not usually get legal aid to help with court costs unless you're separating from an abusive partner.

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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Skip to main content We use some essential cookies to make this website work. We'd like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services.

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If a friend has shared how they are feeling, it might be the first time they have spoken to someone about their mental health and they may struggle to put their thoughts into words. They might not go into lots of detail and say something like 'I'm finding things hard right now' or 'actually, I'm not fine'. Or they might share things they are struggling with at home, school, university or work.

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Supporting a Friend With Their Mental Health

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It can be difficult to know how to respond when someone opens up to you about their mental health. Here's our advice on how you can support a friend.

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3 Ways to Help Children Navigate Friendship Challenges

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3 Ways to Help Children Navigate Friendship Challenges

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3 Ways to Help Children Navigate Friendship Challenges

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Talking to Children about Friendship Problems

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Talking to Children about Friendship Problems

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Talking To Children About Friendship Problems

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What Kids can say to Deal with Tough Friendship Issues

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What Kids can say to Deal with Tough Friendship Issues

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who:
1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC)
2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder
4. Have behaviour that challenges
5. Are teenagers displaying anti-social behaviour including child to parent violence

We offer the following programmes with wrap-around support:
Cygnet (for ASC) Core programme, with additional supporting siblings and puberty, sexual health and relationships modules
The Parent Factor for ADHD
Family Links The Nurture Programme
Teen Positive Parenting Programme
Talking Teens

Parents and carers can self enrol on to a parenting programme or can be referred by a health, education or early help professional.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who: 1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC) 2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) 3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder 4. Have behaviour that challenges 5.

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Online resources and support

However you're feeling right now, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you with your mental health.

Take a look at our resources, information and support, find further help or reach out to one of our volunteers.

Resources for you

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Shout - UK's 24/7 Crisis Text Service for Mental Health Support

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Shout 85258 is the UK's first 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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Text YM to 85258.

Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

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Get Urgent Help | Support If You're Struggling

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Text YM to 85258. Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis. All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors. Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

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Support for Royal Navy and Royal Marines Families

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Support for Royal Navy and Royal Marines Families

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Parenting and Family Support - Family Lives (Parentline Plus) | Family Lives

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Parenting and family support from Family Lives (formerly Parentline Plus) through our website, helpline 0808 800 2222, email service at askus@familylives.org.uk, live chat and local services.

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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Our Safe Havens offer support services for young people who are experiencing difficulties with their mental health and who need access to out of hours emotional and practical support.

We offer online, telephone and open-access sessions for you to talk to someone in confidence about anything you may be going through. Our Youth Workers will support you in a safe space, help you to make positive changes with your mental health and well-being, as well as signpost you to other sources of support.

If you would like to get help from our Safe Haven service, you can phone any of our Safe Haven teams or complete our online form and a member of the No Limits team will be in touch.

Details of when and where the sessions take place are listed below:

Safe Haven: Southampton

Support for children and young people in Southampton aged 11-25 who are experiencing difficulties with their mental health and who need access to out of hours emotional and practical support.

Safe Haven Southampton is currently providing an online, telephone and face-to-face service (by appointment only). Youth Workers are available:

Group drop-in session for 15-25 year olds - 6-7:30pm

One to one sessions - 7:30-8:30pm (by appointment only)
Wednesday
Web chat and phone support - 6-8:30pm

Group drop-in session for 11-14 year olds - 4:30-6pm

One to one sessions - 6-7pm (by appointment only)
Saturday
Web chat support - 10:30am-1pm

Contact details and address:

For phone support or to make an appointment for face-to-face support, please phone: 07918259365

For web chat support: Please click the web chat button at the bottom right-hand side of the No Limits website.

Address: 35 The Avenue, Southampton, SO17 1XN

Space 4 U (Safe Haven): Isle of Wight

Support for children and young people on the Isle of Wight aged 11-17 who are experiencing difficulties with their mental health and who need access to out of hours emotional and practical support.

Sessions take place weekly at two locations on the Isle of Wight. Youth Workers are available:

Time: 5pm-8pm

Address: East Newport Family Centre, Furrlongs, Newport, PO30 2AX

Time: 4pm-7pm

Address: Sandown Family Centre, 98 The Fairway, Sandown, PO36 9EQ
Saturday:
Time: 10:30am - 1pm (web chat support only)

Contact details:

To book an appointment for face-to-face support, please phone: 07741665182

For web chat support: Please click the web chat button at the bottom right-hand side of the No Limits website.

Safe Haven: North East Hampshire and Farnham

The young person's Safe Haven in North East Hampshire and Farnham (covering areas including Aldershot, Farnborough, Fleet and Yateley) offers young people aged 10-17 access to out of hours emotional and practical support with their mental health, providing them with the tools and techniques to enable them to be as safe as possible and make positive changes.

Safe Haven NE Hants and Farnham is currently providing an online, telephone and face-to-face service (by appointment only). Youth Workers are available via phone or web chat:
Monday
One to one support - 6:30-10pm (by appointment only)

Virtual and phone support - 6:30-10pm (by appointment only)

Virtual and phone support - 5-8pm (by appointment only)

One to one support - 6:30-10pm (by appointment only)

Virtual and phone support - 6:30-10pm (by appointment only)
Saturday
Web chat support - 10:30am-1pm

Contact details and address:

For phone support or to make an appointment for virtual, phone or face-to-face support, please phone: 07918259361

For web chat support: Please click the web chat button at the bottom right-hand side of the No Limits website.

Address: Shieling House, 30 Invincible Road, Farnborough, Hampshire, GU14 7QU

To find out more:

Phone 02380224224 or email enquiries@nolimitshelp.org.uk.

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Safe Havens (Support Services For Young People)

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Our Safe Havens offer support services for young people who are experiencing difficulties with their mental health and who need access to out of hours emotional and practical support. We offer online, telephone and open-access sessions for you to talk to someone in confidence about anything you may be going through.

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Parent's Guide to Toilet Training Children with Autism

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Parent's Guide to Toilet Training Children with Autism

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learning disabilities

Toileting and Children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD)

Many children with ASD experience problems with toileting. This can include a delay in toilet-training, a reluctance or refusal to use the toilet, or a reluctance to pass urine or faeces at all. There are many ideas about why this might be, although there is little research evidence to back them up. Here are some possible reasons for toilet-training issues:

LACK OF UNDERSTANDING
Children may not understand that urine or faeces are 'waste' material, and may believe that they are losing part of their body. It is hard for many children with learning disabilities to understand that food becomes poo!

GASTRO-INTESTINAL ISSUES
Research on gastro-intestinal issues in ASD is varied, but some studies suggest that children with ASD are more likely to have chronic gastro-intestinal problems. Problems such as constipation can make going to the toilet painful, so the child avoids this, which then makes the constipation worse - the child is stuck in a negative cycle.

NEED FOR CONTROL/ROUTINE
Children with ASD need the world to be predictable, and bowel movements can feel scarily out of their control.

COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
The child may not be able to let you know when they need to go to toilet, or understand your prompts/attempts to teach them. This can lead to frustration for everybody involved.

MOTOR PROBLEMS
Children who experience some form of delay in the development of their motor skills may not have full control over their bowels and/or bladder. Some children with learning disabilities may never achieve full bowel and bladder control.

LACK OF SOCIAL MOTIVATION

Children with ASD may not understand that toilet training is a healthy and beneficial part of growing up and that wearing a nappy can be socially unacceptable when they are older.

SENSORY ISSUES
Many children with ASD experience significant sensory sensitivities & struggle to manage the sensory input that they receive. This may include a dislike of the noise made by toilets, the sensation of passing urine/faeces, a cold toilet seat, or a preoccupation with water in the toilet.

Ensure the child is ready for toilet training. Some signs of bladder/bowel control are:

Urinating large amounts at once.

Having regular, well-formed bowel movements at predictable times.

Having "dry" periods of around two hours.

Able to follow simple instructions like "go and get the cup".

Indicating that they dislike the feeling of a wet/dirty nappy or pad.

Once you are sure that the child is ready for toilet training, you can help in several ways:

Record when and where the child passes faeces or urine before you begin. Pay attention to the time of day they go, the reaction of the child (did they let you know by crying or going to a particular place?), and how you responded.

Ensure any constipation is treated. If left un-treated, passing faeces can be painful and might cause the child to withhold going.

As a family, it is important to pick the right time. You need to allow toilet training to take priority, for a consistentapproach to be implemented and effortlevels to be maintained.

Accept that it is likely to be stressful for a time.

Ensure their diet includes plenty of fibre, unless you are told otherwise by your child's doctor or dietician.

1. ENFORCING BOWEL CONTROL IS NOT HELPFUL

Although it's important to have clear boundaries and routines to support children with ASD to understand what is expected of them, it's essential to understand that enforcing bowel control could exacerbate existing problems. The child must be ready.

Never use punishment when toilet-training. Making toileting a scary or unpleasant experience for children will not help them to learn, and may make them refuse to go at all (i.e. encourage withholding).

Do not react negatively to 'accidents'. It can be very frustrating for parents, but showing your stress or annoyance can inadvertently teach children that you do not want them to pass urine or faeces (children with ASD can be quite unusual learners). They may not understand that you are angry about when or where they have done it, rather than what they have done.

2. USE REWARDS

Children with ASD are often not intrinsically socially motivated (e.g. by what other people do), so you may need to motivate them in other ways. You may need to continue to reward the child for some tine after successful toilet training, until the behaviour has become part of their routine/habit.

3. MAKE IT FUN

Make the bathroom a relaxing place to spend time in. Be aware of things that would attract the child (e.g. a coloured toilet seat, stickers of their favourite cartoon characters, a soft bath-mat). Equally, be aware of things that would frighten/put-off the child (e.g. the feeling of a particular toilet seat, bright lights).

Don't tell your child to 'push' because this can lead to tensing and less likelihood of a successful bowel movement. Instead, encourage them to relax. You may find that your child is more relaxed after a warm bath.

Blowing bubbles can both entertain your child and encourage bowel movements by recreating a slight pushing motion.

You may decide to encourage the child to spend time in the bathroom playing with toys or water in the sink. However, be wary that, whilst this makes it easier to put/encourage the child onto the toilet by reducing anxiety, it can also confuse children as to the purpose of the bathroom/toilet.

4. PROVIDE THE NECESSARY TEACHING MATERIALS

Social stories can be a good way to help children with ASD to understand what is expected of them. You can create stories (with pictures) to show the whole bathroom/toilet routine (e.g. feel I need to wee, go to the bathroom, take trousers down, sit on toilet etc).

You can create stories to explain that going to the toilet is okay, and that poo and wee are meant to go into the toilet. For more able or older children, you may be able to explain that it is important to get rid of waste from the body.

You can use the child's interests to create examples, such as Spongebob/other character wanting to go to the toilet, and how he/she did it.

You may need to show your child what to do! This can seem embarrassing, but the child will probably be unaware that there is anything to feel embarrassed about, and may learn more from you 'modelling' behaviour than from a book. Alternatively, you could 'model' toileting behaviour using toys or puppets.

5. SCHEDULED SITTING

This is one technique suggested for use with children with ASD where toileting has become very stuck. It should be used in conjunction with the other advice in this section.

Identify times when your child is most likely to have a bowel movement (use a diary to monitor bowel movements as suggested overleaf). Note that 5-20 minutes after meals is a likely time (due to the gastro-colic reflex). Just prior to these times, encourage your child to sit on the toilet for 5 minutes (or a brief time initially). Give them something to occupy them (e.g. a book, handheld computer game, something else they really enjoy).

After 5 minutes, allow the child to leave the toilet; although, if they are happy to stay in the bathroom, this is preferable. After a 10-15 minute break, return them to the toilet for another 5 minutes. Repeat this process for as long as you feel the child will tolerate it without anxiety/tantrums, until the child has had a bowel movement.

Combine this strategy with social stories and rewards for any successful use of the toilet. Try to keep calm and avoid any confrontations. Consider waiting until the school holidays, when you can be more consistent with the approach.

ERIC provide expert support, information and understanding to children and enable parents, carers and professionals to help them establish good bowel and bladder health.
Website

TheNational Autistic Society provides information and support for people with Autism and their families and for professionals. They are a very active organisation and offer some really useful information about strategies and approaches for supporting people with Autism.
Website | Specific page on Toilet Training

The British Institute of Learning Disabilities also have some useful information and further advice about a variety of common issues.
Website

Local Offer is a Derbyshire-specific site which allows you to search for lots of different services, including parenting support groups, in the local area.
Website

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Many children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders experience problems with toileting. This can include a delay in toilet-training or reluctance/refusal to use the toilet at all.

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One Step At A Time - A Parent Guide to toilet skills for children with special needs_Updated_V4

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Advice on Bladder and Bowel Problems in Children and Young People

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Children and young people Bladder and bowel health Issues affecting the bladder and bowel are very common in children and young people. Here you can find specialist advice to help. varied issues The problems can include difficulties with toilet training, wetting and/or soiling.

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Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and Barnardos are working together to deliver the Healthy Child Programme throughout Hampshire. This website provides details for access to health visiting and school nursing services, workshops for healthy eating and support with post-natal depression.

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ERIC - The Children's Bowel & Bladder Charity

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ERIC - The Children's Bowel & Bladder Charity

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With your help, we can keep offering free support to those who need us.

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In July 2020, we joined forces with The Sleep Charity as part of a strong, ambitious mission to empower the nation to sleep better.

Both organisations have worked hard individually, over the years, to achieve change and support to those affected by lack of sleep. By merging, we have strengthened our complementary services to speak with one voice, improve the impact of our work and to raise the profile of sleep as a major factor for health and wellbeing.

The majority of content has now moved over to The Sleep Charity website where you will find a comprehensive resource of sleep information. The Sleep Council website will shortly be removed. Thank you for your support.

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In July 2020, we joined forces with The Sleep Charity as part of a strong, ambitious mission to empower the nation to sleep better. Both organisations have worked hard individually, over the years, to achieve change and support to those affected by lack of sleep.

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Hampshire CAMHS - Sleep tips and resources

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Hampshire CAMHS - Sleep tips and resources

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Lots of young people find getting to sleep, staying asleep or waking up a real problem. Disrupted, broken or insufficient sleep can really impact on people’s mood and ability to cope with daily life.

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A decent night's sleep will help children to learn more effectively and make them less susceptible to minor ailments,

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About the service

Hampshire Healthy Families was launched in 2020 as a partnership between the Trust and Barnardos. The service is commissioned to support families, parents and carers of children aged from 0-19 years old and to deliver the Healthy Child Programme across Hampshire. This is done by providing access to Health Visitors and School Nurses as well as other services and regular courses to help support child development.

What we do

The Trust's Children and Family Services are split into specialist teams that focus on everything from vaccinations to healthy living advice. Take a look below for more information.

Health Visiting

Health visitors are all nurses or midwives who have completed additional training in public health, which includes child development. Health visitors lead the delivery of the Healthy Child Programme. This national programme consists of a series of developmental reviews, screening tests, vaccinations and information to support parents. Click here to find your local health visiting service.

You can also get support and advice from a Health Visitor by texting our ChatHealth service below.

School Age Immunisations

The School-Age Immunisation Service offers vaccinations to children (aged 4-16) across all Hampshire schools and children who are home educated. The team also work closely with teachers, school nurses and other health professionals to ensure young people receive their vaccinations at the right time. Visit the School Age Immunisations website for more information.

School Nursing

The School Nursing service works in partnership with children, young people and their families to ensure that pupil's health needs are supported within their school and their community. This includes those attending a school within Hampshire and those that are home educated (except Southampton and Portsmouth city schools).

Parents and young people can also get support and advice by texting our ChatHealth service below.

Family Nurse Partnership (FNP)

The Family Nurse Partnership (FNP) is a voluntary programme usually offered to first time young parents aged 19 or under.

We know from research that a healthy pregnancy gives babies the best possible start in life. The relationship parents have with their babies right from the start is crucial for their future health and happiness.

Our family nurses' will provide you with information and support you to make decisions which:

Increase your chances of a healthy pregnancy

Help manage labour

Improve your child's development

Build a positive relationship with your baby and others

Help you plan for the future

Enable you to make lifestyle choices that will give your child the best possible start in life

Enable you to achieve your aspirations (such as finding a job or returning to education)

Research also shows that parents who take part in this programme are more likely to achieve what they want for themselves and their children.
What's involved?
Your family nurse will visit you every one or two weeks from the start of pregnancy until your child is at least one year. Home visits usually last about an hour.

You will share different ideas at each visit with your family nurse and decide together what topics to talk about. Your family nurse will help you develop new skills and make plans for a healthy, happy future for you and your baby.
Contact the Family Nurse Partnership
Email: fnpshft@southernhealth.nhs.uk

Tel: 0300 003 0338

Child Health Information Services (CHIS)

CHIS are responsible for all child health information records for children across Hampshire. The team also help to deliver information to parents around the time their child needs to be vaccinated.

You can find out more about the age they are given and the vaccinations required on the Child Health Information Service website.

ChatHealth 0-5

ChatHealth 0-5
ChatHealth 0-5 is a text messaging service set up to support parents, carers and families of under 5's in Hampshire.

The service is run by local health visitors who have a wealth of experience of working with mums and dads-to-be, babies, toddlers and young children.

The Health Visiting Team are able to support with questions from parents, carers and families relating to a wide range of health and wellbeing issues including crying babies, infant feeding, starting baby on solid foods, sleep and behaviour problems. As well as giving advice, the team can signpost to appropriate services and other support.

How to use it: Text the dedicated number 07520 615720.

Chathealth 11-19

Chathealth 11-19
The ChatHealth text service is an easy way for young people 11-19 to confidentially ask for help with a range of issues. The service is manned by qualified school nurses who have a wealth of experience of working with young people.

ChatHealth allows young people in Hampshire to text messages to a dedicated number 07507 332160; the messages are then delivered to a secure website. Once received, the school nurse will respond to the text within one working day.

ChatHealth is available Monday to Friday from 9am-4.30pm (excluding bank holidays). Any young person who texts the service outside of these hours will receive an automated message with advice of where to get help if their question is urgent.

The School Nursing Team are able to support young people with questions relating to a wide range of health and wellbeing issues including self-harm, relationships, bullying, weight, anxiety, drugs, smoking, stress, body worries, alcohol and sexual health. As well as giving advice, the team can signpost to appropriate services and other support.

Young people are still able to request to see a School Nurse face to face in school or a community setting.

How to use the service: Text the dedicated number 07507 332160

ChatHealth for parents of children and young people in Hampshire aged 5-19.

ChatHealth offers a simple, convenient & confidential text messaging service for parents of children and young people in Hampshire aged 5-19.

The ChatHealth advisor team is made up of school nurses working within Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust. These nurses all have extensive experience of working with and supporting parents of children and young people.

ChatHealth allows parents in Hampshire to text messages to a dedicated number 07507 332417; the messages are then delivered to a secure website. Once received, the school nurse will respond to the text within one working day.

ChatHealth is available 9 am - 4.30 pm on Monday to Thursday and 9 am - 4 pm on Fridays (excluding bank holidays). Any parent who texts the service outside of these hours will receive an automated message with advice of where to get help if their question is urgent.

The Team are able to can support parents with questions relating to a wide range of health and wellbeing issues including healthy lifestyles, toileting, behaviour, sleep, emotional wellbeing and health conditions. As well as giving advice, the team can signpost to appropriate services and other support.

Parents are still able to request to see a School Nurse face to face in school or receive support via a telephone call (with exception of private schools).

Children in Care

The Children in Care service works in close partnership with children, young people, their carers and local authorities to ensure that children and young people's health needs are supported whilst they remain in care and as care leavers.

If you live in care and away from home, you may want to speak confidentially to someone about your worries. The Children in Care Team can listen and help you to get further help and support.

What does the service provide?

Health assessments

Health advice and information for Children in Care

Support for children in care to attend health appointments

The team can also arranage for referals into other services such as; Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), Sexual health clinics, GP services and stop smoking services .

If you would like to speak to the Children in Care team, please call them on 02382 310475 or email admin-childrenincare@southernhealth.nhs.uk.

If you would like to read more about our integrated health and wellbeing service at Swanwick Lodge Children's Home in Southampton, click here.

How to find us

Children's Management Office, Tom Rudd Unit, Moorgreen Hospital, Botley Road, West End, Southampton, Hants, SO30 3JB

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Hampshire Healthy Families was launched in 2020 as a partnership between the Trust and Barnardos. The service is commissioned to support families, parents and carers of children aged from 0-19 years old and to deliver the Healthy Child Programme across Hampshire.

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Sleep support for children with DHD and Autism

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Sleep support for children with DHD and Autism

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Before I get into all the scientific mumbo jumbo, I want to give you a little insight about my son. His name is Bruce, I call him B for short, and he's 8 right now. When he was 6, he was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. What led me to bring him to the doctor was that he was incredibly hyperactive, he couldn't focus, he wasn't sleeping, he wasn't eating right, and he was starting to have aggression issues. I called my doctor and made an appointment and she then referred me to a behavioral specialist.

I took B to the specialist and they did some tests on him over a course of some time. They came back with the ADHD and Autism diagnosis. Back just a few years ago, they had certain Autism diagnoses'. You either had autistic disorder, childhood disintegrative disorder, pervasive developmental disorder-not other specified, and Asperger's, which was just about as bad as you could get. Today, it's just called the spectrum. My son falls on the spectrum, somewhere in the mild area, but dealing with it is just as difficult as if he were to be in the severe area.

School is struggle for him every day. Currently, he takes Adderall for his ADHD. Unfortunately, there isn't much he can take because he has a heart defect that interferes with certain medications. He was born with Tetralogy Of Fallot. It only occurs in about 5 out of every 10,000 babies. He has undergone 3 open heart surgeries and his doctors say that because of this, it is where his disorders came from. Anyway, due to this, there are only certain medications he can take, so treating these conditions are quite limited, which means helping him get to sleep is limited.

B doesn't sleep and when he doesn't sleep, his ADHD and Autism seem to get worse. He will binge eat, his aggression will get out of hand, he will beat me until I have bruises, he will beat up his siblings, punch holes in my walls, and he will break anything that he can get his hands on. I have tried almost everything to get him to settle down, but I have been unsuccessful, which is what led me to research different ways that most people wouldn't think of. So, if you are having the same issues as me or want to prevent these issues from happening, keep reading.

What Causes Sleep Disorders

Children who have ADHD and Autism tend to suffer from sleep disorders for a number of theoretical reasons. I say theoretical because researchers aren't completely sure as to why this happens. The first theory is based on social cues. Most "normal" people see the light turn to dark and they know it's time to go to sleep because of our circadian rhythm. Most children may also see their siblings going to bed and know that it is their turn. Children who have autism, who also may have difficulty communicating, may have an issue understanding this cue or may fail to understand this cue altogether.

Another theory between autism and sleeping has to do with melatonin. This naturally occurring hormone helps regulate sleep-wake cycles. In order to make melatonin, your body needs an amino acid called tryptophan. In kids with autism, these levels are either higher or lower than normal. Studies have shown that in some children, they don't release melatonin at the correct times of the day. Rather, they have higher levels during the day and lower levels at night.

Kids with ADHD have a lot more issues going on when it comes to sleeping. They have trouble with self-regulation. This can keep them from going from active mode to wind-down mode when it comes time for bed, they can't stop thinking about things even when they are trying to sleep, and they experience restlessness that disturbs them or wakes them up.

The Effects Of Sleep Problems

The effects of sleep problems can vary. As I said before, when my son doesn't sleep, he gets aggressive. Here are some things to look out for when your child isn't sleeping:

Aggression

Depression

Hyperactivity

Irritability

Low cognitive performance

Poor learning

Increased behavioral problems

Getting Them To Sleep

When a child has ADHD or Autism, it may be difficult to get them to sleep right. When they have both, it's even worse, trust me on this one. A British research study showed that three times as many children with ADHD have a tough time falling asleep or staying asleep and 57% of their parents got less than 6 hours of sleep. More than half of these kids were up four times in the middle of the night and almost half of them were up before 6.00 a.m. Sounds exhausting, doesn't it? It is. I don't get much sleep because usually when my son is up in the middle of the night, he's binge eating or trying obsessively looking for random things such as electronics or toys.

Getting them to sleep through the night may be tough when it comes down to it. Luckily, I did some digging and found quite a few ways that you can get your child to sleep without medicating them, because over-medicating your child just isn't beneficial and it could even be considered abusive. So, here's how you can get your child to sleep without medication.

#1. Eat & Drink Right

Eating and drinking properly before bed can really help your child sleep throughout the night. Digestion can keep your child awake. If they insist on snacking, like my son constantly does, give them warm milk, cold turkey, or some saltines. These things have a chemical called tryptophan, which is a natural sleep-inducing chemical. There are plenty of other sleep-inducing foods and drinks that you can give your child before bed as well.

Your child also be drinking enough water during the day to prevent them from asking for a glass of water at bedtime, which will lead to a bathroom break later on. My son is notorious for this. He will ask for whatever drink he can get just so he doesn't have to stay in bed and he will do it multiple times. He then has to get up over and over again to use the bathroom.

#2. Get Plenty Of Exercise

Exercising is an important part of your child's bedtime routine. You can have them jump rope, jog, ride a bike, walk, or even just send them outside to run around for a little while. When my son is getting too out of hand or wild, I send him outside to run off some of his energy. Physical activity helps our body transition between the phases of sleep. It also places stress on the body and increases the time a child spends in a deep sleep. I try to send my son out 2 hours before bedtime then I bring him in to take a warm shower, it seems to calm him right down. If you choose, you can also create an exercise routine for your child that includes easy things such as lunges, squats, burpees and other things to tire them out.

#3. Get Rid Of Night-time Distractions

If a child has ADHD and Autism, distractions are a huge deal. B is distracted by literally everything and he becomes obsessive over it. He has an iPod that he listens to, but if it isn't charged, he wants something else and if I won't give it to him, he will obsess about a tablet or old cell phone and then he becomes manic. If your child isn't that bad and just gets distracted by small things such as a clock light, you can try to find one that only lights up when a button is pressed because even the smallest light can be disruptive.

Door Lights

Believe it or not, the smallest amount of light can be distracting to a child with such disorders. It's best to turn their bed away from the bedroom door so that they aren't disturbed by the light coming through it. If it isn't possible, try putting a rolled up towel on the outside of the door so that they can't see the light coming under it.

Window Lights

Here's something that I'm having an issue with right now since the days are getting longer-lights coming in the windows at 8:30 p.m. My son sees this and doesn't think it's time for bed. The best way to approach this is to get some blackout curtains. These will reduce as much light as possible and trick their mind into thinking it's actually dark outside. If this doesn't work, consider a sleep mask.

Earplugs & Relaxing Music

If they are distracted by noises such as TV chatter, phone noises, dogs barking, or other small noises that they can't control, let them use earplugs or listen to relaxing music. My son loves to listen to music when he's trying to sleep, he says it relaxes him.

#4. Create A Healthy Bedtime Routine

I know it seems like a tough thing to do, I've failed many times, but it can be done. Rituals that are done close to the evening can signal the brain and body that it is time to slow down. It can also provide a closeness with the caregiver that is comfortable, allowing those fearful children to sink into a peaceful sleep. Keep in mind, they will still need time to get their homework done, so give them at least an hour before bedtime to do so before having their slowdown time with you.

Tell Stories

Storytime is very popular in my house. I have to read to four children on a nightly basis usually. My girls want their stories and my boys want theirs. Since my son has a reading deficit, I have to read for him. He loves when I sit on the edge of his bed and read him a chapter or two a night from one of his favorite books. This is a great bonding time and it helps to get him settled in for the night.

Give Them Their Favorite Item

Does your child have a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or toy? My son changes the item he cherishes on a weekly basis. One week it's his stuffed turtle, the next, it's his stuffed puppy. No matter what it is, I make sure he has it because it's his comfort piece, no matter how silly it may seem.

#5. Dress Them Comfortably

If your child has sensitivities to certain clothing due to sensory issues, you are going to want to pay close attention to this. Make sure you are dressing them in something that they are going to enjoy sleeping in. If they don't like the way fleece feels on their legs, dress them in those track pants or something cotton-y. If they don't like sleeves, dress them in something without sleeves or vice versa. It's just a matter of figuring out what your child is most comfortable sleeping in. My son does not like to sleep in pajamas, he would rather sleep in his jeans-strange, I know.

Keep Them Cool

If the room is too hot, your child might not be comfortable. My son doesn't like to be cold, so this doesn't really apply to him. But if they are hot, dress them in moisture wicking clothing or cotton sleepwear. This will prevent them from sweating. You can put a fan or an air conditioner mixed with a dehumidifier in their room to keep it at a cool temperature and not so humid.

#6. Help Them Relax

"B, relax!" It's a phrase I say all of the time. I know you probably say it to your child too. It may seem out of reach for them to actually do it, but there are ways to help achieve this. You can start by giving them a foot rub, especially if they are very restless. You can also have them focus on their breathing by having them focus on an elevator going up and down. You can also encourage prayer if you are into that sort of thing as well. All of these can help them relax and ease their minds.

#7. Cut The Electronics

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Helping Children With ADHD and Autism Get Better Sleep - Living Autism

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Before I get into all the scientific mumbo jumbo, I want to give you a little insight about my son. His name is Bruce, I call him B for short, and he's 8 right now. When he was 6, he was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.

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In this section you will find information on: where to get advice and local support, claiming benefits you maybe entitled to and saving money on household bills.

For a comprehensive list of local services click on the 'View all services and advice' link on the right hand side of the page

The banner below provide links to national websites containing information advice and guidance on the following topics

To work out what benefits you may be entitled to visit the Entitled To website.

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The Money Advice Service is a free impartial service set up my government providing advice and guidance on managing your finances including: debt & borrowing, saving & investing, budgeting and managing money, and work and redundancy.

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In this section you will find information on: where to get advice and local support, claiming benefits you maybe entitled to and saving money on household bills.

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Contact details

Citizens Advice Eastleigh (Hedge End Outreach)
Salvation Army Dowd's Farm Community Centre
85 White's Way
Hedge End
Eastleigh
SO30 2GL

Public phone: 0808 278 7862

Email: help@citizensadviceeastleigh.org.uk

Website URL: http://www.eastleighcab.org.uk

General information

Service offered: Advice and information on a range of issues, including benefits and welfare rights, consumer, employment and housing rights, money and debt.

Target group: General public.

Area served: Hedge End and surrounding areas.

How to contact: Drop-in (Limited during coronavirus pandemic, please check website for up to date information), phone or email.

Availability

Monday: 10am - 4pm (Phone)

Tuesday: 10am - 4pm (Phone)

Wednesday: 10am - 4pm (Phone)

Thursday: 10am - 4pm (Phone)

Friday: 10am - 4pm (Phone)

Weekends:

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Wheelchair access: Yes - limited

Accessible toilets: No

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Other information

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Charity number: 256021

Year established: 1942

Staffing:

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Record last checked: 17 November 2021

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citizens advice eastleigh (hedge end outreach)

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Turn2Us - Advice Finder - Citizens Advice Eastleigh (Hedge End Outreach) - Eastleigh

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Contact details for Citizens Advice Eastleigh (Hedge End Outreach)

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Government guidance on getting an extra payment to help with the cost of living if you're entitled to certain benefits or tax credits

The Government have extended their Help to Save scheme for low earners until April 2025. The scheme offers a 50% bonus payment worth up to £1,200 over four years.

See information below for local and national support and advice relating to specific topics.

If you can't afford to buy enough food, you may be able to get some short-term help from your local Members make a small weekly contribution and receive food with a higher value than the same items would cost elsewhere.food bank. You will need a voucher to use a food bank. To find out where you can get a voucher, contact your local food bank or phone the Citizens Advice national phone service on 03444 111 444.

Community pantries provide groceries at a lower rate than shops and supermarkets. Access to the Community pantry is through membership.

Find your local food bank or community pantry

The Smart Living website has tips and ideas for making the most of the food you have and avoiding waste.

The BBC has a range of healthy recipes to help you Eat Well for Lessas well as £1 Mealsto help you prepare tasty, hot meals on a budget.

Debt and budgeting

The organisations below offer free, impartial advice on debt and budgeting:

Breathing space is a new government scheme which is designed to give you time to receive debt advice and find a solution to sort out your debt problems. Eligibility criteria apply.

Always make sure you are claiming any benefits you may be entitled to.

Gamcare offers support and advice to those affected by gambling, including specific advice regarding money management.

Economic abuse often occurs alongside other forms of abuse. Surviving Economic Abuse has information and advice as well as a Financial Support Line for victims of domestic abuse.

The NHS has practical advice on coping with financial worries.

Mind has practical tips on managing your money and improving your mental health

Money Savings Expert, supported by Mind, Rethink, CAPUK and others, have developed a guide - Mental Health and Debt - for people with mental health problems and those caring for them.

Mental Health and Money Advice has practical advice and support for people experiencing issues with mental health and money.

If you are receiving mental health crisis treatment and struggling with problem debt, the Mental Health Crisis Breathing Space scheme has been set up to create time and space for you to get the treatment you need, without having to worry about your debts growing or your creditors contacting you during your treatment. (Hampshire County Council residents can submit a referral form here).

If you need support with your mental health and wellbeing, there are many local and national organisations and helplines. See our Mental health information page.

If you are struggling to keep your home warm, and live in the Hampshire County Council area, visit the Hitting the Cold Spots web page or call the advice line on 0800 804 8601. The friendly Hampshire-based team will be able to provide a range of advice and assistance including one-off emergency fuel vouchers for pre-payment meters for people who meet certain eligibility criteria.

See information from Switched on Portsmouthabout help available for Portsmouth, Havant and Gosport residents. (See also SwitchedOnGosport)

See our keeping warm in winter section for more advice, energy saving tips and details of financial assistance that may be available.

If you are having problems paying your rent or are worried about mortgage or council tax payments:

Keeping your home warm in winter.
If you claim benefits, you may be able to claim discounts or grants to help heat your home. More about keeping warm in winter.

If you can't afford to replace something which is broken, or to pay for costly repairs, you could try visiting a Repair Cafe.

Repair Cafés are free meeting places and they're all about repairing things (together). In the place where a Repair Café is located, you'll find tools and materials to help you make any repairs you need. On clothes, furniture, electrical appliances, bicycles, crockery, appliances, toys, et cetera. You'll also find expert volunteers, with repair skills in all kinds of fields.

Find your local Repair Cafe
Further information from Ofcom.
The Department for Work and Pensions provides grants and short-term advances for people who already claim benefits, such as:

You can check you are receiving the right benefits:

Tax Help for Older People is a service from the charity Tax Volunteers providing free, independent and expert help and advice for older people on lower incomes who cannot afford to pay for professional tax advice.

Use the internet to search for reuse organisations that may sell secondhand furniture and appliances.
Here are some websites or organisations you could try:

Gumtree - for secondhand furniture and appliances for sale.
Emmaus Hampshire is a social enterprise which helps people out of homelessness.
The Community Furniture Project in Basingstoke sells a wide range of used furniture.
The Furniture Helpline in Alton provides affordable household goods, household furniture and white-goods at very low prices to those with a need.
Jacob's Well Care Centre aims to provide furniture to those in need in the Gosport area.
Search the Community Directory to find organisations that can help with furniture.

Charity shops, such as the British Heart Foundation,are also a good place to start if you want to buy secondhand goods for the home at affordable prices.
Some household waste recycling centres have sections where you can buy secondhand furniture.

Some charities provide financial help such as grants or subsidised care in a care home. Often these charities are concerned with particular groups or occupations.

Use the Search for Grants tool on Turn2Us to find out what charitable funds you may be eligible for.

The Simple Payment Plan was created for those in financial difficulty and who meet certain eligibility criteria.

Qualifying customers can choose from either a fortnightly or monthly payment plan that spreads the cost of a TV Licence over 12 months. This means you make smaller payments more frequently. The Simple Payment Plan offers flexibility if a payment is missed, as it can be spread across the remainder of the plan instead of having to pay double the amount next time. If payments are missed three months in a row, customers are removed from the Simple Payment Plan.

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Connect to Support Hampshire is an online information and advice guide and directory of services for adults with care and support needs who live in Hampshire.

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Government support in addition to Universal Credit, Housing Benefit or Council Tax Support

National Breathing space scheme

From Monday 4 May 2021, The National Breathing Space Scheme enables people to apply for "breathing space" from their debts to allow extra time to repay. If you are experiencing debt issues and wish to apply for the Breathing Space Scheme you need to apply for Breathing Space via a money or debt advisor.

The Council work in partnership with The Citizens Advice Bureau to enable residents to have access to this support. If you are looking to apply they can be contacted for support by phone 0808 278 7862 or on their website.

Universal Credit Advance

A Universal Credit Advance (new claim) or (change of circumstances) is an advance payment of a future award of Universal credit which is recoverable from subsequent payments of benefit. Call 0845 600 0723, lines are open Monday to Friday, 8am-6pm.

Council Tax Hardship Payment

If you are struggling to pay and you have already made a claim for Council Tax Support, whether it was successful or not, you can also apply for a Council Tax Hardship Payment (CTHP).

Local Welfare Assistance

Hampshire County Council has been given money by the Department for Work and Pensions to develop what has been called Local Welfare Assistance. This money is to be used to develop local help and support for people who are facing crisis or struggling to cope.

Department of Work and Pensions - Short Term Advance

Advance payments for new benefit claimants in hardship who are awaiting their first payment of benefits; payment has been delayed; or there has been a change of circumstances that will increase their entitlement but it has not yet been paid. Ring and request Short Term Advance, providing info on financial circumstances, specific costs for which the advance is needed, amount required, and period the amount will last for. Info taken in a telephone interview will be passed to a decision maker, who will ring the claimant within 24 hours and confirm the decision.

0345 or 0845 608 8545 Either dialing code may be used, but check with your phone company which will be cheaper.

Department of Work and Pensions - Hardship Payments

Payments for claimants who have been sanctioned and are in financial hardship. Ring to request, details will be taken and passed to decision-maker, who will assess and ring claimant back within 24 hours. Applicants will need to explain the payments they need, how the money will be used, and how long it will last

0345 or 0845 608 8545 Either dialing code may be used, but check with your phone company which will be cheaper.

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Financial hardship government support | Eastleigh Borough Council

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From Monday 4 May 2021, The National Breathing Space Scheme enables people to apply for "breathing space" from their debts to allow extra time to repay. If you are experiencing debt issues and wish to apply for the Breathing Space Scheme you need to apply for Breathing Space via a money or debt advisor.

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Free Debt Advice and Support | National Debtline

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Get free, confidential debt advice from an independent England and Wales debt charity. Call, chat online, or use My Money Steps for expert support today.

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opening times, donations, how to receive support, free food

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Book Suggestion - Badger's Parting Gifts

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Book Suggestion - Badger's Parting Gifts

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Badger's Parting Gifts: 35th Anniversary Edition of a picture book to help children deal with death

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Badger's Parting Gifts: 35th Anniversary Edition of a picture book to help children deal with death: Amazon.co.uk: Varley, Susan: Books

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Skip to content

-PARENTS MAGAZINE

" The Invisible String by Patrice Karst is a heartwarming story that reassures children that even though they can't always be with a loved one, they're always in each other's hearts."

-TONY ROBBINS

THE INVISIBLE STRING book is "a beautiful way to begin to try, as parents, to instill in children the impenetrable power of the heart, the energy of love, and the flow that can be felt from the grace in every moment."

―United Way (Life Lessons for Little Ones)

"If I could only have one book to use for counseling purposes, this would be it. This book is extremely versatile. It can be used for any type of separation, loss."

―The American Academy of Pediatrics

"Delivers a particularly compelling message in today's uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for, love is the unending connection that binds us all."

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The Invisible String Book - Patrice Karst | Loneliness | Loss

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Skip to content -PARENTS MAGAZINE " The Invisible String by Patrice Karst is a heartwarming story that reassures children that even though they can't always be with a loved one, they're always in each other's hearts."

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Winston's Wish is the UK's childhood bereavement charity. We support children and their families after the death of someone important.

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Home page for Simon Says Child Bereavement Support charity showing support activities and ways you can support the charity.

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Helping Children Smile Again with Amanda Seyderhelm

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Listen to Helping Children Smile Again with Amanda Seyderhelm on Spotify. How do I talk to bereaved children about grief and loss? Set up a therapeutic storytelling group in my class? Build resilience in my team?