# data[].attributes.body
so it is about being yourself
the bad sides and the good sides
showing you would go for it or if you would go too far
the difficulties of being yourself but being yourself is just who you are

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
We all want to be our whole, authentic selves, online and off. We want to put down the masks, we want to be seen and heard and known, and we want to share what we've learned.

But we've also all had the unpleasant experience of reading or hearing something that felt like just a little bit too much, too soon.

How open should we really be on the internet?

This is something we talk about a lot behind the scenes - how much of our personal struggles should we share? Do readers want to hear about the messes and the things we haven't resolved? Does anyone want our unfiltered opinions and the occasional rant, or should we stick to bullet points and action plans?

If you blog, post Facebook updates, meet up for coffee with friends, or have relatives who enjoy conversation, you've probably wondered something similar. Which of your stories do you share, and which do you keep quiet? When is it the right time to be your whole self, and when do you share just one angle?

I want to be the same person on the page as in the rest of life. I don't want my writing to build up walls to shield the real me. I don't want to keep anyone out or make anyone feel disconnected, even when life is far from perfect.

Some of us are more vibrant in person than we are online. Others of us are more bold in writing than we are live. Some of us have stories or struggles we're still working through, and aren't ready to share. So how do we know when it's time to open up, and when to shut things down?

Think about what your purpose is in sharing, and if now is the right time.

Have you had a chance to process your feelings and to come to your own conclusions?

Do you have a safe space where you can open up?

Are you ready to hear other people's responses?

If you're holding back, is it because you're still working through things? Is it because you'll have to move out of your comfort zone? Or is it out of fear for how others will react?

Consider what you have to offer.

Will you give hope, help, or guidance?

Will you let others know they're not alone?

Have you found meaning in your difficulties, that you can now share?

Will being open shine a light into someone else's darkness?

Could your words help to bring about needed change?

1. Experience simplicity.
The more open you are, the less you have to remember which filters go where. If your habit is simply to tell your truth, there aren't as many divisions between who you are and what you share. You're just yourself, everywhere you go.
2. Establish connection.
Sharing our messes helps us feel connected. That's because, while the details are different in each of our lives, we share the same underlying emotional experience. We all struggle, we all have pain and difficulty, we all have to find healthy ways to cope. Talking about those things can be a gift to both the speaker and the audience.
3. Achieve wholeness.
You have a limited amount of mental, physical, and emotional energy every day. Acting like someone or something you're not saps that energy fast. You can spend your days pretending to have it all together, or you can work toward living in wholeness, but you can't do both at once.
4. Own your story.
Speaking truth and claiming your identity are powerful things. When you know who you are, and when you shape your history into a coherent narrative, you put your life into clearer perspective. You might even feel more confident moving forward. Maybe online is the right place for you to be your whole self, and maybe it isn't. But somewhere in your life, make space to set down the masks and be unfiltered.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
We all want to be our whole, authentic selves, online and off. We want to put down the masks, we want to be seen and heard and known, and we want to share what we've learned. But we've also all had the unpleasant experience of reading or hearing something that felt like just a little bit too much, too soon.

# data[].attributes.body
There are certain things we will always have doubts about. No matter how self-confident we may be,we will always have doubts. We always want to prove ourselves and in fact we don't have to. Stop judging yourself for not meeting the expectations of others.
Self-confidence is something that you build up and that you weren't born with. You have to accept yourself. Don't spend time what other people say about you. Everyone is unique. Just be yourself and inspire other people also to be themselves.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Have you ever wondered if you are being the real you or if you are just living up to other people's expectations of yourself?

There are certain things we will always have doubts about, and no matter how self-confident we are, there is always some concern about ourselves not being enough.

In the end, you don't have anything to prove to others. No one is actually keeping a tab on how you behave and what you achieve but (maybe) you. So relax and stop judging yourself for not meeting others' expectations as long as you meet yours.

Self-confidence is something you build, not something you are inherently born with. Accepting yourself and living that way is the perfect way boost to it. You will spend less time caring about what people say about you.

This is also how you'll be able to express your uniqueness. Giving yourself freedom regarding where you want to get and how will not only attract other people to you but inspire them to be themselves. All the criticism will likely come from people who are just too afraid of being their true selves.

Even though there will always be a lot of people similar to you, there can only be one YOU.

And it is only YOU who will drive towards whatever goal you wish to accomplish.

Once you've done it, you will also become the total owner of your life. Your decision making will work out almost all the time. Since by being you, you will find your purpose in life, not just follow the path you were told to fulfill.

We all make mistakes, that is true, it's part of human nature. So when it happens, know it is okay, Don't blame yourself for doing it and do not overthink it.

Eventually, you'll grow, since you are now able to identify your true strengths and how they will help you overcome your weaknesses.

Being you is just about living by your standards, but a word of caution is needed: Don't be arrogant! You are not better than anyone and nobody's better than you, you are just different and that's okay.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Be yourself, No matter what they say! - AIESEC | Blog

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Have you ever wondered if you are being the real you or if you are just living up to other people's expectations of yourself? There are certain things we will always have doubts about, and no matter how self-confident we are, there is always some concern about ourselves not being enough.

# data[].attributes.body
This article is about the importance of being yourself as you can see by the title

Don’t imitate. Everyone is different and so, to copy another’s way of life simply means to suppress who you really are. Create your own path and enjoy walking it.

Speak the truth. Be honest with yourself and with those you come in contact. When we lie, we out ourselves in constant anxiety because each lie must be covered up by another lie, and so on and so forth.. Being honest is the best way to be at peace with you and with others.

Find peace in being alone. It is better to be alone and confident in who you are, than to be in the company of others by lying out of fear. Only once you have overridden the fear of being alone, will you be able to let go of the need for social approval. This will allow you to build genuine relationships.

Do what you love. No matter what others expect from you, try not to compromise your way of life. Whatever you enjoy doing, keep on doing it.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It can be difficult to be yourself; we fear we won’t be accepted for who we are. Emma Azzopardi offers ways you can embrace authenticity

# data[].attributes.body
This article is about how you can find yourself in a friend group and gives you tips.

1. Dont let anyone judge for you for the way you are.

2. Don’t worry about pleasing others.

3. Appreciate yourself in all your uniqueness.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The advice people often give others who feel nervous in social settings is "Just be yourself." Unfortunately, sometimes that can be easier said than done.

Some people don't feel they know who they are. Sometimes we also don't feel comfortable being ourselves in front of others.

If you feel like either of those two cases describes you, rest assured it is possible be who you want to be around others.

The importance of being you

A simple way of understanding the idea of being who you are is to think about what you like and dislike doing when you're alone.

Do you like laughing loud at sitcoms?

Do you enjoy intellectual debates that provoke you to deep thought and questions?

Are you not a fan of going out to clubs?

Are you not interested in enjoying a beer with people?

The things you do or don't do when no one is looking is the basics of who you are. The key to showing that person off to others is to be okay with the fact that some people aren't going to like it or understand it.

Essentially we hide our personalities because we're fearful of others mocking us for it. We don't want to be judged harshly. But the thing is, that doesn't have to stop you from feeling good about who you are.

That's essentially what the people around you that you feel a need to impress are doing. So if they can do it, why can't you do it too?

So what if you don't live up to society's expectations and do what everyone else is doing. It's better than living a life that isn't true to who you are and makes you unhappy.

Be inspired and motivated to be true to the person you know yourself to be. Here are 12 powerful ways you can be more like yourself and have a happier, more optimistic life.

1. Stop worrying about how others see you

In some cases, pondering how others see you can be good for helping you make positive changes about yourself.

However, if you're constantly thinking about how others are perceiving who you are, you may end up feeling insecure.

If you feel you need to make changes about yourself, make those changes. If you don't, then don't worry with what others think.

2. See yourself as enough

You may feel like you have to be more "normal", "confident", "funny", or any other adjective you wish you were more of.

While we're always try to improve, remember that the person that you uniquely are is valuable. See yourself as enough to have friends like you, people hire you, and enjoy pleasant interactions overall.

3. Don't worry about pleasing others

Do you find yourself always doing what others want you to do and rarely doing the things you want to do? If so, that's a problem you need to fix.

There's nothing wrong with being considerate about other people's wants and needs. That's a part of being a nice person.

Nonetheless, you also need to have your own personal boundaries. Make sure you're doing just as much for yourself as you try to do for others.

4. Get to know yourself

We've probably all had moments where we wonder to ourselves, "Who am I?" We ponder if we really know who we are.

From birth to adulthood, we get filled with ideas of how we're supposed to see ourselves and how we're supposed to be.

Practice not thinking about how to act and just be spontaneous in how you choose to be. You'll learn more about the way you like to be who you are.

5. Confidently own who you are

If you doubt yourself from time to time, join the club. No matter how confident anyone around you appears, all of us feel a little doubt about ourselves sometimes.

One of the tricks to doubting less is to stop comparing yourself to others. Own who you are in all the uniqueness of your personality and characters. Projecting confidence about what you do and how you act can make others around you see you as confident too.

6. Appreciate yourself in all your uniqueness

Appreciate all of your weirdness in every way. All people have their odd quirks about them. The confident ones are the ones who can be comfortable with them no matter what people think.

Choose to feel good through all the weird things you may say or do sometimes. You may even make others feel good in their weirdness, and people usually like when others make them feel more comfortable.

7. Don't be negative towards yourself

Not all of us naturally feel glass half full. Some of us may struggle with often being more glass half empty. But being negative about the person you are won't make you feel better about yourself. Being happy with yourself requires you to have some positivity.
Related: 30 Ways to Be More Positive in 2021
8. Be forgiving towards yourself

If you were unnecessarily negative and hard on yourself in the past, forgive yourself. If you were a rude towards family, friends, and colleagues, forgive yourself.

We've all made mistakes, took wrong steps, and made some bad decisions. Choose to let go of the the past and focus on solutions that can change your reality. Be encouraging to yourself so you can feel up to becoming the best person you can be.

9. Look at mistakes as learning opportunities

When you make a mistake, you're getting closer to learning the right way to do something. You don't have to feel down on yourself for failing sometimes. Just learn to ponder over how things went wrong so you can know better what to do in the future.
Related: Mistakes Are Proof That You Are Trying, Failure Is One Of The Greatest Teachers In Life
10. Strive to accomplish what you desire

Don't allow your life to remain the same as it's always been. Be bold in going after what you want to achieve in life. Keep on improving yourself and getting closer to being true to who you are.

11. Do hobbies and activities you love

Perhaps one of the most authentic versions of yourself comes out when you're doing what you love. We all have things that we feel like we really live for.

Discover your passions and spend more of your time on those things. When you do the things you enjoy life, you can feel much happier.

12. Be intentional

People who do well at being themselves are intentional about their thoughts, feelings, and actions in life. Be intentional about choosing to be a laid back person if that's who you are.

Be intentional about being a silly and energetic person if that's you. Don't hesitate in acting and being what feels right to you. Be present.
Related: What Does It Mean To Be Present In Life?
Other encouraging articles
Love For Yourself - 10 Reasons to Love Yourself 25 Simple Ways To Make People Like You 7 Simple Ways to Stop Overthinking Everything

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Meaning of Being Yourself - 12 Ways To Be Yourself - Antimaximalist

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The advice people often give others who feel nervous in social settings is "Just be yourself." Unfortunately, sometimes that can be easier said than done. Some people don't feel they know who they are. Sometimes we also don't feel comfortable being ourselves in front of others.

# data[].attributes.body
This article is about focussing on yourself, and trying to be true to yourself, ignoring what the rest thinks. You have to make active desicions by focussing on the future. Instead of the past and try to let go of these negative people that have been bringing you down. Off course it's impossible to suddenly stop caring about everyone else. So it's a process that can take time and can sometimes be dishearting he says. But in the end it's worth it.

Mila

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
It's a good idea to be yourself, not only because everybody else is taken, but because trying to be anything else doesn't usually get you very far.

But how do you do it?

First, you have to understand what you have unlearned about yourself. This process can be disheartening, as you remember past decisions where you had the chance to be yourself but instead chose to be something different.

Since trying to be anyone other than yourself is usually ineffective, why not begin by deciding to do only what is true to your own inner compass? If you did it for just one day, what would that day look like?

There are a few schools of thought that say you are incapable of making good decisions on your own; that you are inherently evil and must continuously struggle against your true nature. You are destined to lose without some kind of intervention.

But what if your true nature were good? Sure, you've screwed up with the best of them, but that doesn't mean you are destined to make bad decisions. Aren't you capable of being true to what you believe in? Aren't you capable of being a good self?

We all know at least one bitter, negative person. My theory is that most bitter people are not being true to themselves. My guess is that somewhere along the way, they took a wrong turn they've always regretted, and they take out their disappointment on others. You know how there's always ONE GUY who tells you you're stupid for not knowing how to do something? To be yourself, you have to be able to ignore that guy.

The last thing you want is to be bitter, but the second-last thing you want is regret. To avoid regret, you have to make active decisions. I think moving forward is better than remaining stationary. And I also think you have to show people you care about them-merely thinking nice things doesn't help anyone.

Being yourself is risky. Something could go wrong, and then whose fault would it be? (This is another reason why it can be easier to let other people make your decisions-then you can blame them when it doesn't work out.)

But in the long-run, you know you're capable of being a good self. You know you're capable of taking the risk. Even if some people don't understand, you can find a way to pursue the life and work you've always wanted.

And you can be yourself, whoever you are, today.

###

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It's a good idea to be yourself, not only because everybody else is taken, but because trying to be anything else doesn't usually get you very far. But how do you do it? First, you have to understand what you have unlearned about yourself.

# data[].attributes.body
It goes about being yourself
Tips
1 Be happy
2 be yourself
3 choose the right friends
4 don't be someone else
5 Think about who you are

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Credit... Alexis Beauclair

IT was going to be the biggest presentation of my life - my first appearance on the TED Conference main stage - and I had already thrown out seven drafts. Searching for a new direction, I asked colleagues and friends for suggestions. "The most important thing," the first one said, "is to be yourself." The next six people I asked gave me the same tip.

We are in the Age of Authenticity, where "be yourself" is the defining advice in life, love and career. Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world. As Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, defines it, authenticity is "the choice to let our true selves be seen."

We want to live authentic lives, marry authentic partners, work for an authentic boss, vote for an authentic president. In university commencement speeches, "Be true to yourself" is one of the most common themes (behind "Expand your horizons," and just ahead of "Never give up").

"I certainly had no idea that being your authentic self could get you as rich as I have become," Oprah Winfrey said jokingly a few years ago. "If I'd known that, I'd have tried it a lot earlier."

But for most people, "be yourself" is actually terrible advice.

If I can be authentic for a moment: Nobody wants to see your true self. We all have thoughts and feelings that we believe are fundamental to our lives, but that are better left unspoken.

A decade ago, the author A. J. Jacobs spent a few weeks trying to be totally authentic. He announced to an editor that he would try to sleep with her if he were single and informed his nanny that he would like to go on a date with her if his wife left him. He informed a friend's 5-year-old daughter that the beetle in her hands was not napping but dead. He told his in-laws that their conversation was boring. You can imagine how his experiment worked out.

"Deceit makes our world go round," he concluded. "Without lies, marriages would crumble, workers would be fired, egos would be shattered, governments would collapse."

How much you aim for authenticity depends on a personality trait called self-monitoring. If you're a high self-monitor, you're constantly scanning your environment for social cues and adjusting accordingly. You hate social awkwardness and desperately want to avoid offending anyone.

But if you're a low self-monitor, you're guided more by your inner states, regardless of your circumstances. In one fascinating study, when a steak landed on their plates, high self-monitors tasted it before pouring salt, whereas low self-monitors salted it first. As the psychologist Brian Little explains, "It is as though low self-monitors know their salt personalities very well."

Low self-monitors criticize high self-monitors as chameleons and phonies. They're right that there's a time and place for authenticity. Some preliminary research suggests that low self-monitors tend to have happier marriages and lower odds of divorce. With your romantic partner, being authentic might lead to a more genuine connection (unless your name is A. J. Jacobs).

But in the rest of our lives, we pay a price for being too authentic. High self-monitors advance faster and earn higher status, in part because they're more concerned about their reputations. And while that would seem to reward self-promoting frauds, these high self-monitors spend more time finding out what others need and helping them. In a comprehensive analysis of 136 studies of more than 23,000 employees, high self-monitors received significantly higher evaluations and were more likely to be promoted into leadership positions.

Interestingly, women are more likely to be low self-monitors than men, perhaps because women face stronger cultural pressures to express their feelings. Sadly, that puts them at risk for being judged weak or unprofessional. When Cynthia Danaher was promoted to general manager of a group at Hewlett-Packard, she announced to her 5,300 employees that the job was "scary" and that "I need your help." She was authentic, and her team lost confidence in her initially. Some researchers even suggest that low self-monitoring may have harmful effects on women's progress.

But even high self-monitors can suffer from the belief in authenticity because it presupposes that there is a true self, a bedrock to our personalities that's a combination of our convictions and abilities. As the psychologist Carol Dweck has long shown, merely believing that there's a fixed self can interfere with growth.

Children who see abilities as fixed give up after failure; managers who believe talent is fixed fail to coach their employees. "As we strive to improve our game, a clear and firm sense of self is a compass that helps us navigate choices and progress toward our goals," Herminia Ibarra, a professor of organizational behavior at the business school Insead, notes. "When we're looking to change our game, a too rigid self-concept becomes an anchor that keeps us from sailing forth."

If not our authentic selves, what should we be striving to reach? Decades ago, the literary critic Lionel Trilling gave us an answer that sounds very old-fashioned to our authentic ears: sincerity. Instead of searching for our inner selves and then making a concerted effort to express them, Trilling urged us to start with our outer selves. Pay attention to how we present ourselves to others, and then strive to be the people we claim to be.

Rather than changing from the inside out, you bring the outside in.

When Dr. Ibarra studied consultants and investment bankers, she found that high self-monitors were more likely than their authentic peers to experiment with different leadership styles. They watched senior leaders in the organization, borrowed their language and action, and practiced them until these became second nature. They were not authentic, but they were sincere. It made them more effective.

The shift from authenticity to sincerity might be especially important for millennials. Most generational differences are vastly exaggerated - they're driven primarily by age and maturity, not birth cohort. But one robust finding is that younger generations tend to be less concerned about social approval. Authentic self-expression works beautifully, until employers start to look at social media profiles.

As an introvert, I started my career terrified of public speaking so my authentic self wouldn't have been giving a TED talk in the first place. But being passionate about sharing knowledge, I spent the next decade learning to do what Dr. Little, the psychologist, calls acting out of character. I decided to be the person I claimed to be, one who is comfortable in the spotlight.

It worked. Next time people say, "just be yourself," stop them in their tracks. No one wants to hear everything that's in your head. They just want you to live up to what comes out of your mouth.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Opinion | Unless You're Oprah, 'Be Yourself' Is Terrible Advice. (Published 2016)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
IT was going to be the biggest presentation of my life - my first appearance on the TED Conference main stage - and I had already thrown out seven drafts. Searching for a new direction, I asked colleagues and friends for suggestions. "The most important thing," the first one said, "is to be yourself."

# data[].attributes.body
This article tells why it's important to be yourself. You get tips and they things that can really help you. You can actually get a confidence boost because of this. Even if you're religian it can help because they also tell about things Jesus, Buddha,... said. They also give reasons why not to fake being "normal". Being "normal" is just something someone says is "normal", but that doesn't mean that it actually is.

Emma

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Rossana Snee
Rossana is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She aspires to motivate, to inspire, and to awaken your best self! Read full profile

How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn't really listening? You probably wouldn't be too thrilled.

Unfortunately, that is the case for many people. Most individuals are not good listeners. They are good pretenders. The thing is, true listening requires work-more work than people are willing to invest. Quality conversation is about "give and take." Most people, however, want to just give-their words, that is. Being on the receiving end as the listener may seem boring, but it's essential.

When you are attending to someone and paying attention to what they're saying, it's a sign of caring and respect. The hitch is that attending requires an act of will, which sometimes goes against what our minds naturally do-roaming around aimlessly and thinking about whatnot, instead of listening-the greatest act of thoughtfulness.

Without active listening, people often feel unheard and unacknowledged. That's why it's important for everyone to learn how to be a better listener.

What Makes People Poor Listeners?

Good listening skills can be learned, but first, let's take a look at some of the things that you might be doing that makes you a poor listener.

1. You Want to Talk to Yourself

Well, who doesn't? We all have something to say, right? But when you are looking at someone pretending to be listening while, all along, they're mentally planning all the amazing things they're going to say, it is a disservice to the speaker.

Yes, maybe what the other person is saying is not the most exciting thing in the world. Still, they deserve to be heard. You always have the ability to steer the conversation in another direction by asking questions.

It's okay to want to talk. It's normal, even. Keep in mind, however, that when your turn does come around, you'll want someone to listen to you.

2. You Disagree With What Is Being Said

This is another thing that makes you an inadequate listener-hearing something with which you disagree with and immediately tuning out. Then, you lie in wait so you can tell the speaker how wrong they are. You're eager to make your point and prove the speaker wrong. You think that once you speak your "truth," others will know how mistaken the speaker is, thank you for setting them straight, and encourage you to elaborate on what you have to say. Dream on.

Disagreeing with your speaker, however frustrating that might be, is no reason to tune them out and ready yourself to spew your staggering rebuttal. By listening, you might actually glean an interesting nugget of information that you were previously unaware of.

3. You Are Doing Five Other Things While You're "Listening"

It is impossible to listen to someone while you're texting, reading, playing Sudoku, etc. But people do it all the time-I know I have.

I've actually tried to balance my checkbook while pretending to listen to the person on the other line. It didn't work. I had to keep asking, "what did you say?" I can only admit this now because I rarely do it anymore. With work, I've succeeded in becoming a better listener. It takes a great deal of concentration, but it's certainly worth it.

If you're truly going to listen, then you must: l isten! M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book The Road Less Travel, says, "you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time." If you are too busy to actually listen, let the speaker know, and arrange for another time to talk. It's simple as that!

4. You Appoint Yourself as Judge

While you're "listening," you decide that the speaker doesn't know what they're talking about. As the "expert," you know more. So, what's the point of even listening?

To you, the only sound you hear once you decide they're wrong is, " Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!" But before you bang that gavel, just know you may not have all the necessary information. To do that, you'd have to really listen, wouldn't you? Also, make sure you don't judge someone by their accent, the way they sound, or the structure of their sentences.

My dad is nearly 91. His English is sometimes a little broken and hard to understand. People wrongly assume that he doesn't know what he's talking about-they're quite mistaken. My dad is a highly intelligent man who has English as his second language. He knows what he's saying and understands the language perfectly.

Keep that in mind when listening to a foreigner, or someone who perhaps has a difficult time putting their thoughts into words.

Now, you know some of the things that make for an inferior listener. If none of the items above resonate with you, great! You're a better listener than most.

How To Be a Better Listener

For conversation's sake, though, let's just say that maybe you need some work in the listening department, and after reading this article, you make the decision to improve. What, then, are some of the things you need to do to make that happen? How can you be a better listener?

1. Pay Attention

A good listener is attentive. They're not looking at their watch, phone, or thinking about their dinner plans. They're focused and paying attention to what the other person is saying. This is called active listening.

According to Skills You Need, "active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the 'active listener' is also 'seen' to be listening-otherwise, the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener."

As I mentioned, it's normal for the mind to wander. We're human, after all. But a good listener will rein those thoughts back in as soon as they notice their attention waning.

I want to note here that you can also "listen" to bodily cues. You can assume that if someone keeps looking at their watch or over their shoulder, their focus isn't on the conversation. The key is to just pay attention.

2. Use Positive Body Language

You can infer a lot from a person's body language. Are they interested, bored, or anxious?

A good listener's body language is open. They lean forward and express curiosity in what is being said. Their facial expression is either smiling, showing concern, conveying empathy, etc. They're letting the speaker know that they're being heard.

People say things for a reason-they want some type of feedback. For example, you tell your spouse, "I had a really rough day!" and your husband continues to check his newsfeed while nodding his head. Not a good response.

But what if your husband were to look up with questioning eyes, put his phone down, and say, "Oh, no. What happened?" How would feel, then? The answer is obvious.

According to Alan Gurney,

"An active listener pays full attention to the speaker and ensures they understand the information being delivered. You can't be distracted by an incoming call or a Facebook status update. You have to be present and in the moment.

Body language is an important tool to ensure you do this. The correct body language makes you a better active listener and therefore more 'open' and receptive to what the speaker is saying. At the same time, it indicates that you are listening to them."

3. Avoid Interrupting the Speaker

I am certain you wouldn't want to be in the middle of a sentence only to see the other person holding up a finger or their mouth open, ready to step into your unfinished verbiage. It's rude and causes anxiety. You would, more than likely, feel a need to rush what you're saying just to finish your sentence.

Interrupting is a sign of disrespect. It is essentially saying, "what I have to say is much more important than what you're saying." When you interrupt the speaker, they feel frustrated, hurried, and unimportant.

Interrupting a speaker to agree, disagree, argue, etc., causes the speaker to lose track of what they are saying. It's extremely frustrating. Whatever you have to say can wait until the other person is done.

Be polite and wait your turn!

4. Ask Questions

Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you're interested. If someone is telling you about their ski trip to Mammoth, don't respond with, "that's nice." That would show a lack of interest and disrespect. Instead, you can ask, "how long have you been skiing?" "Did you find it difficult to learn?" "What was your favorite part of the trip?" etc. The person will think highly of you and consider you a great conversationalist just by you asking a few questions.

5. Just Listen

This may seem counterintuitive. When you're conversing with someone, it's usually back and forth. On occasion, all that is required of you is to listen, smile, or nod your head, and your speaker will feel like they're really being heard and understood.

I once sat with a client for 45 minutes without saying a word. She came into my office in distress. I had her sit down, and then she started crying softly. I sat with her-that's all I did. At the end of the session, she stood, told me she felt much better, and then left.

I have to admit that 45 minutes without saying a word was tough. But she didn't need me to say anything. She needed a safe space in which she could emote without interruption, judgment, or me trying to "fix" something.

6. Remember and Follow Up

Part of being a great listener is remembering what the speaker has said to you, then following up with them.

For example, in a recent conversation you had with your co-worker Jacob, he told you that his wife had gotten a promotion and that they were contemplating moving to New York. The next time you run into Jacob, you may want to say, "Hey, Jacob! Whatever happened with your wife's promotion?" At this point, Jacob will know you really heard what he said and that you're interested to see how things turned out. What a gift!

According to new research, "people who ask questions, particularly follow-up questions, may become better managers, land better jobs, and even win second dates."

It's so simple to show you care. Just remember a few facts and follow up on them. If you do this regularly, you will make more friends.

7. Keep Confidential Information Confidential

If you really want to be a better listener, listen with care. If what you're hearing is confidential, keep it that way, no matter how tempting it might be to tell someone else, especially if you have friends in common. Being a good listener means being trustworthy and sensitive with shared information.

Whatever is told to you in confidence is not to be revealed. Assure your speaker that their information is safe with you. They will feel relieved that they have someone with whom they can share their burden without fear of it getting out.

Keeping someone's confidence helps to deepen your relationship. Also, "one of the most important elements of confidentiality is that it helps to build and develop trust. It potentially allows for the free flow of information between the client and worker and acknowledges that a client's personal life and all the issues and problems that they have belong to them."

Be like a therapist: listen and withhold judgment.

1. If the client may be an immediate danger to himself or others.

2. If the client is endangering a population that cannot protect itself, such as in the case of a child or elder abuse.

NOTE: I must add here that while therapists keep everything in a session confidential, there are exceptions:

8. Maintain Eye Contact

When someone is talking, they are usually saying something they consider meaningful. They don't want their listener reading a text, looking at their fingernails, or bending down to pet a pooch on the street. A speaker wants all eyes on them. It lets them know that what they're saying has value.

Eye contact is very powerful. It can relay many things without anything being said. Currently, it's more important than ever with the Covid-19 Pandemic. People can't see your whole face, but they can definitely read your eyes.

By eye contact, I don't mean a hard, creepy stare-just a gaze in the speaker's direction will do. Make it a point the next time you're in a conversation to maintain eye contact with your speaker. Avoid the temptation to look anywhere but at their face. I know it's not easy, especially if you're not interested in what they're talking about. But as I said, you can redirect the conversation in a different direction or just let the person know you've got to get going.

Final Thoughts

Listening attentively will add to your connection with anyone in your life. Now, more than ever, when people are so disconnected due to smartphones and social media, listening skills are critical.

You can build better, more honest, and deeper relationships by simply being there, paying attention, and asking questions that make the speaker feel like what they have to say matters.

And isn't that a great goal? To make people feel as if they matter? So, go out and start honing those listening skills. You've got two great ears. Now use them!

More Tips on How to Be a Better Listener

Featured photo credit: Joshua Rodriguez via unsplash.com

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Rossana Snee Rossana is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She aspires to motivate, to inspire, and to awaken your best self! Read full profile How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn't really listening?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A rise in collaborative workplaces and dynamic teams over recent years has heightened the demand for “authenticity” and “instant intimacy,” and managers are supposed to set an example. But sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences at work can backfire if it’s hastily conceived, poorly timed, or in…

# data[].attributes.body
I find it a very interesting website
they say:
What does it mean to "be yourself"?
Being yourself does not mean having a closed mind.
Being yourself is the characteristic or individual identity.
and so much more I am very happy to have found this website and will definitely read it all
Mira vdw

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When we are alone, instead of being ourselves and fully enjoy ourselves, most of us yearn for a relationship. However, in the relationship, we hide vital part of ourselves behind a mask, and then we wonder why we are unhappy. It is important that you learn to be yourself because it is an indispensable element to have high self-esteem.

What does it mean "being yourself"?

It is when you accept yourself as you are and you act according to your particular way of being, without complexes, stereotypes or imitations of any kind. You are aware that you are different, and you enjoy it. You focus on using your strengths and overcoming weaknesses but also go without unconfiguring your individual essence.

Being yourself is the hallmark or individual identity:

Just as all people have the right to a name and a number of single card, there is also a hallmark of your personality. You have to make an effort to find yourself. You were born in a particular household with certain rules, beliefs, culture, traditions, etc. But there comes a time where you have to choose for yourself and find your own ideas.

When you visualise and fulfil purposes, then you realise you have the power in your hands to accomplish great things.
Further Reading: 8 Hacks To Constantly Improve Yourself
Be yourself should not mean having a closed mind:

Rather the opposite should happen because your divine identity is much more than appearances. When you explore your inner, you build an open mind that allows you to understand the universe better and take actions that help to help in a very small portion.

Learning to be yourself is essential to your personal development:

Your way to express yourself and doing things is unique. So, by working to refine your innate abilities can get amazing things.
Further Reading: How To Motivate Yourself and Others
If there is a moment in which you focus on the goals that lead you to success, then you already have learned to be yourself. Because you have no time to please others, you are focusing on what you want, and that is an authority.

Do not waste time seeking pleasure in something that you know you do not like:

If you are aware that you do not like something, then do not do. Defends the right to live in a way that fits you the best. It is true that you can get good advice, but only if they are in line with your aspirations and not with what others think.

People have wasted much of their lives trying to please others, but when there is an internal imbalance, you can never be happy, and a voice of concern will be clamoring for a change.

Never run alone with what you hear - researches, experiences:
Further Reading: 25 Things To Do When You Feel Alone and Lonely
Sometimes you hear an idea that you take as your own, but worth doing a great self-evaluation of ideologies and doubt everything until you get to live in harmony.

You have to experience, out into the world, see new things, research, etc. Only with that somewhat adventurous spirit, you will achieve to be yourself.

Involve others in creating your own reality

Someone would have thought that to be oneself means to be independent regarding the relationship. On the contrary, to be ourselves, we have to be realistic, reality, as we know, involves concrete and many other issues that we prefer. The mistake many of us make when it comes to creating their reality, it happens at the moment when we should agree with others over what we share. We would like things to be a certain way and that there is no need necessarily for testing and comparing it with the others. Frustration and satisfaction by reality occur when we are sure that it cannot be so, and we wish to retreat from the relationship.

Famous quotes about the importance of being yourself

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When we are alone, instead of being ourselves and fully enjoy ourselves, most of us yearn for a relationship. However, in the relationship, we hide vital part of ourselves behind a mask, and then we wonder why we are unhappy. It is important that you learn to be yourself because it is an indispensable element to have high self-esteem.

# data[].attributes.attachment_caption
LEARNING TO "BE YOURSELF" WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY. It's hard to be yourself wen you're surrounded bye people who judge you.                    from Julie V.F :)   

# data[].attributes.body
This article is about being yourself with social anxiety
but here is a little text off what I wrote and think about being you're self means.

Just be yourself because some people are gonna think of you different and that's normal some people are gonna think you're smart, beautiful ore funny but also like there are some people who gonna think you're mean you're ugly you're not gonna be enough and that is normal but don't let that overcome you you're beautiful in just the way you are! and be yourself find what you want to do in life and enjoy it don't listen to all the negative people just don't look back anthem and just focus an being yourself! because if they don't accept you for who you are then they aren't good enough for you instead find someone who truly accepts you for who you are.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
I still remember a seemingly trivial moment while volunteering and travelling in New Zealand during my college years. After a hike through the rolling green hills with some travel friends, we stopped in a local shop with some custom design T-shirts. As I was about to leave without being inspired to purchase anything, I got stuck staring at a silly T-shirt that had a drawing of a sheep (naturally in New Zealand) with the simple words "Be Yourself" displayed underneath. I knew this was a message I needed to hang on to at that time, and I also knew this was definitely not a hip shirt that would impress my new travel friends. Yet, this awareness oddly only increased my motivation to pick it up. Instead of shifting my "self" to meet others' expectations or approval, something in me wanted to do the exact opposite. Somehow through this the once feared odd looks or non-affirming responses from others (which really weren't all that bad) were dissolved of much of their power. I had found my way to my first exposure, overtly letting go of a strategy to shift and dismiss my self and presentation for fear of negative reaction or exclusion, and learn that such responses from others can be coped with and don't have to be all that feared in the end.

The Importance of Self-Worth

So, what leads us to shift or inhibit our self-expression and so fear the potential negative responses of the other? One answer can be found in a recent research study that identified a common factor underlying both Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression: feelings of low self-worth. Another way to describe this would be to think about what beliefs about ourselves we have learned that make it feel as if there is something flawed and in danger of being exposed or judged by others. These beliefs take the form of self-statements such as "I'm unworthy" or "Inadequate" that we may have learned through significant experiences or relationships in life. Fortunately, alternative ways of seeing our self and acting can be strengthened over time. This happens with a dedicated action plan and development of skills to learn to feel safe being our self in the world. This process can be greatly assisted by working with a qualified Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy provider.

Becoming You, an Action Plan

One starting place to start this shift is to take inventory of all of the subtle to overt ways that you might inhibit, shift, or avoid your authentic self being seen or asserted in a given moment. These are often called "safety behaviors" in that they are done to protect against feeling vulnerable, and therefore potentially exposed and judged. At the same time, they are what holds us back from building up more positive and realistic thoughts and beliefs about our self and our worth. We can also practice cognitive restructuring and self-compassion to help shift how we think about letting ourselves be seen more authentically in the world and how to cope with any potential outcome. Next, create a list of personal goals to challenge and honor your self by letting go of these safety behaviors. Some common examples of this "Be Yourself" assertiveness practice within social situations include:

Stating a need and/or your true feelings in an interpersonal interaction.

Joining a group activity, or leaving a group activity based on what you are truly feeling in the moment.

Offering a differing opinion.

Correcting someone.

Asserting a preference in a group.

Sharing more about yourself than typical.

Asking for help.

Elaborate on longstanding characteristics of yours in conversation.

Compassionately share a mistake you've made or area in your life you're working to improve with others.

Saying "no" or setting a limit when fear of judgment or conflict might hold you back.

Purchasing or ordering items that might be different from others.

Expressing something you value or believe in with others.

Many of the above examples implicitly require us to check in and see how we are really feeling, and what we truly want and need. If actions items such as the ones above still feel far away, try to start by just developing a new habit of intentionally checking in with what those natural feelings and needs actually are in social situations. Over time, we can give the world the gift of knowing and being our self more and more.

How to Get Help for Social Anxiety

The National Social Anxiety Center is a national association of regional clinics with certified cognitive therapists specializing in social anxiety and anxiety-related problems. We have compassionate therapists who can help you to reduce social anxiety. Currently, we have regional clinics in San Francisco, District of Columbia, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh, New York City, Chicago, Newport Beach / Orange County, Houston / Sugar Land, St. Louis, Phoenix, South Florida, Silicon Valley, Dallas, Des Moines, San Diego, Baltimore, Louisville and Philadelphia. Contact our national headquarters at (202) 656-8566 or visit our Regional Clinics contact page to find help in your local area.

Written by,
Robert Yeilding, Psy.D.
NSAC - Newport Beach/Orange County
www.anxietyanddepressioncenter.com

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
LEARNING TO "BE YOURSELF" WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
I still remember a seemingly trivial moment while volunteering and travelling in New Zealand during my college years. After a hike through the rolling green hills with some travel friends, we stopped in a local shop with some custom design T-shirts.

# data[].attributes.body
Be yourself The importance of being yourself is. That you don't do things for the sake of others. You have to do things because you want to do it yourself. If you are yourself, there are also a lot of advantages. You don't get carried away by others, you listen to yourself. You don't care what others think of you. You begin to understand your needs. You have more confidence. You have less stress. You feel better in your own skin.

My 3 tips are. 1. Don't get carried away by others. listen to yourself. 2. It doesn't matter what others think about you. As long as you're happy with yourself. 3. If you don't feel good about yourself talk to others about it.
staf

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
Calm Sage - Your Guide to Mental and Emotional Well-being

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
I made "being yourself" a priority when I found myself trapped in hectic schedules, responsibilities, and myriad reasons. Being yourself is the kind of self-love we all should have for our happiness and peace. To be yourself, does not mean ignoring other responsibilities or relations. Being yourself simply means listening to your heart.

People often reply to me that "being yourself" is a phrase that is easy to say and hard enough to carry throughout life. And in regards to this, my reply is "why not carry such energy which has a lot of benefits in terms of career, growth, professional, and personal."

The importance of being yourself is that you do not do things for the sake of others... you do the stuff because you love to do such things. Being yourself is like living life on your own terms. And let me tell you, being yourself keeps you happy and with this art, you learn how to be kind to yourself.

Through this blog, I have covered all the possible benefits of being yourself which will take you on the road of self-love. Let's get started.

Benefits of Being Yourself:

1. Being yourself increases your self-confidence.

2. Being yourself provides you the ability to trust yourself and trust your instincts.

3. You do not get swayed away with other's opinions; you listen to your heart.

4. While being yourself, you try to find answers and solutions on your own which leads you to other kinds of positive levels.

5. With time, a courageous self-made person emerges from being yourself.

6. While being yourself, you let your creative side shine which builds a unique personality person.

7. People get attracted to you because of your real personality. They accept the real you.

8. With being yourself, you own the tag of success.

9. Your intuitions are honed; people kind of appreciate that personality.

10. While you are kind to yourself, you do not take stress over waste less and senseless problems. You kind of focus on you and your loved one's happiness.

11. You do not care what others think about you. Additionally, you stop caring about what is going in the world, you start focusing on your own growth.

12. You begin to understand your actual needs, you can easily differentiate in the wrong and right for you.

13. With time, a more magnetic, sincere, decent, and fun-loving personality builds (which is really awesome).

14. You realize your self-worth, and you start to adore yourself. You stop caring about what others think about your personality and actions.

15. You accept your mistakes and flaws. While being yourself, you take the road of self-acceptance.

16. You maintain the kind of peace level which nobody can disrupt (we all need this kind of self-love).

17. You become gentle towards yourself.

18. When you begin to be yourself, you somehow learn how to respond to tough and difficult situations healthfully and effectively.

19. With being yourself, you become capable to reach your goals without the disturbance of any minor obstacles.

20. You become a positive person who is able to discover the purpose of life.

After reading all the benefits, you might all be thinking now how to take the road of self-love or how to be yourself. To read "how-to", click on the below-mentioned articles:
How to find peace amidst the chaos How to fulfill your dreams How to be friends with your inner critic How to make life better with 21\90 rule 10 reasons why you should be more self-dependent How to enjoy your me-time How to control negative thoughts How to live life on your own terms You can Also Check These Ways to Practice Self Love in Daily Life:
I hope you like this article. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Benefits of Being Yourself: Take the road of Self-love

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
I made "being yourself" a priority when I found myself trapped in hectic schedules, responsibilities, and myriad reasons. Being yourself is the kind of self-love we all should have for our happiness and peace. To be yourself, does not mean ignoring other responsibilities or relations. Being yourself simply means listening to your heart.

# data[].attributes.body
1:  it's okay to think of yourself and put yourself forward a little bit
2:  sleep can help a lot from medical to psychic
3: do things that make you happy this sounds easier said than done but every little bit helps.
4: Shelters are full of pets in need of loving homes, and the unconditional love we get from our furry family members can be a true mood booster
5:  If you get insecure from social media take a break and don't compare yourself to it all the time

Fintele

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
There are so many ways to practice self-love - the options truly are limitless. But if you're looking for some ideas to get started, these are some great first steps.

1. Plan your escape

It's not uncommon to feel drained when you're constantly working to meet the needs of others - especially when you're a caregiver. And when those others (kids, for example) live in your house, it can be difficult to find time for self-love.

That's why taking breaks from those who rely on you most can be so beneficial.

Maybe that means a night at a local hotel (just you) to watch a movie, sleep in, and eat uninterrupted. Or it could be lunch by yourself with a good book and no one requesting anything of you.

2. Book a therapy session

Taking care of your mental health is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

A therapist you trust can help you identify areas where you'd like to improve your mental health and create strategies for working toward that.

To find mental health support, you can check out Psych Central's therapist finder or skim this list of free mental health apps.

3. Spend time in nature with those you love

Fresh air is often therapeutic, and outdoor adventures with the people we love can put a smile on our faces. You might plan a hike with a romantic partner, or maybe a bike ride with your kids.

Looking to learn more about the benefits time in nature can have on mental health? Here's a deeper dive.

4. Adopt a pet

Shelters are full of pets in need of loving homes, and the unconditional love we get from our furry family members can be a true mood booster.

If you can't adopt right now, volunteering could also be a good option. Even spending time at a pet store, an adoption agency, or with a friend's fur baby can be comforting.

5. Fill your home with things that make you smile

Home should be your safe place, your sanctuary. Consider filling yours with what brings you joy, whether it's live plants, pictures of happy memories, or art you love to look at.

6. Go screen free

Take a break from your screens and put your phone into "do not disturb" mode. No notifications, no outside noise, and no distractions could equal just the peace you need.

7. Give yourself permission to say 'no'

You can't be everything to everyone, and it's hard to give anything your best if you're constantly trying to do it all. When you practice saying "no," it allows you to take on what you can handle.

If you're not in the habit of telling people "no," it can feel challenging and even anxiety-inducing. Here are some tips for getting started.

Still, if you need to say "yes" to someone, you can say it and put limits or boundaries in place. For example, you could say, "Yes, you can come over at 1 p.m., but I'll need you to leave at 3 p.m."

8. Eat alone

Especially for parents who often have little ones stealing from their plates, taking time to eat alone - whether it's a coveted dessert or a full-course menu - means you don't have to share with anyone.

Mindful eating is one way to make mealtime feel that much more rejuvenating. Here are some quick steps to practice mindfulness while you eat:

1. Minimize and set aside distractions, like the TV or your phone.

2. Take some time to breathe in the scent of your meal. What herbs or spices do you smell?

3. Enjoy your food one bite at a time, and enjoy the flavors you might often be too busy to notice.

If you want more info on mindful eating, this gives an in-depth look at its benefits, where the practice came from, and how to get the most out of it.

9. Read a book

It's easy to convince ourselves that we don't have time for this simple pleasure, but reading can serve as such a great escape. Even just allowing yourself one chapter a night can be an act of self-love.

Research backs up the practice of reading for mental health. For example, one literature review found bibliotherapy - where you use a workbook and similar methods to manage some mental health conditions - could help teens manage depression.

10. Carve out time for exercise

Research has found countless benefits (both mental and physical) to daily exercise. It's not necessary to push yourself too hard, and more isn't always better - a 30-minute walk can be a great way to get your body moving and enjoy the benefits exercise provides.

It's common to feel that the motivation to exercise just isn't there, even if you initially wanted to. If you'd like to make exercise a habit but feel like lack of motivation is getting in your way, here's some info that could help.

11. Lock the door

If you have a partner or kids who tend to misunderstand what closed doors mean, it's OK to lock yourself into the bathroom for your daily shower - you deserve that uninterrupted time.

12. Remind yourself of your worth

We've all caught ourselves in negative self-talk from time to time, but what if you made a concerted effort to lift yourself up? If you need reminders to do so, you can leave notes around the house that point out what you love best about yourself.

Here's 5 tips to improve your self-talk if you'd like a deeper dive.

13. Splurge

It can be hard to spend money on ourselves, especially during times of financial strain. But small (and occasional) splurges can help us all smile a little more. This could be as simple as a fancy coffee or the face wash you wouldn't usually allow yourself to buy.

14. Meditate

Research suggests spending more time meditating could improve your mental health in the long term.

One way to begin: Find a comfortable and quiet place to sit for 10 minutes. Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath, heartbeat, and the positive goals you have for the day.

For more meditation tips and resources, consider checking out:

15. Make time for the little things

Self-love is sometimes as simple as clipping your nails, putting on a full face of makeup, or shaving your face (if it's something that makes you happy).

16. Organize your space

If you get stressed by clutter, consider making time to clean up and reap the benefits of a clutter-free zone. If you don't have the time and can afford to do so, you might give yourself permission to hire someone to do this for you.

17. Ask for what you need

Tell the people you love when you need help, or time, or space.

18. Pamper yourself

A haircut or massage could help you relax. If you're on a budget, you could treat yourself to an at-home face mask, DIY pedicure, or at-home massage.

19. Set boundaries

You're allowed to draw your own personal lines and stick to them. You don't owe people explanations or the chance to negotiate.

Here's 10 ways to build better boundaries if you're looking for more info.

20. Journal

Take some time to write down things you're grateful for, the goals you hope to accomplish, or a list of things that bring you joy. You can write out your frustrations and disappointments as well. Sometimes putting our thoughts to paper can be one of the most healing things we can do.

If you've always wanted to get into journaling but aren't sure how to start, these journaling prompts could help.

21. Take a bath

Light some candles, turn out the lights, and pour some Epsom salts into the warm water.

Your tub can be another great place to bring in some mindfulness. If you're up for a mindfulness exercise while you soak, consider using all your senses to notice how the water feels, looks, and sounds.

22. Let yourself scroll

For some people, social media can become a time suck and source of constant frustration. For others, it can be an escape from the world and a few moments of mindless entertainment. If you're the latter, give yourself the time to scroll without guilt.

23. Take a social media break

On the other hand, if you find yourself frustrated every time you log on, consider pausing or shutting down your social media accounts - temporarily or for good.

24. Plan a date

Quality time with the people we love can be truly regenerative. Plan a night out with friends or your significant other and focus on talking and enjoying that time together.

25. Dance it out

Put on your favorite music, open your windows, and get your body moving.

26. Schedule time for your hobby

Writing, painting, taking photos, completing puzzles - whatever your hobbies are, consider setting aside a block of time just for them.

27. Conscious breathing

With one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest, feel the breath moving through your body. You can do this for just a few breaths or several minutes at a time. You can even take some time to focus on your breathing whenever you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

Here are some more breathing exercises if you'd like to keep going.

28. Set goals

We all have things we want to accomplish, but sometimes writing those things down and considering the steps necessary to achieve them can make those things suddenly seem more achievable and possible in our minds.

29. Try a new recipe

Even if you don't love to cook, look up a recipe that sounds good to you and set aside some time to try your hand at it in a quiet house. For some people, following the steps (perhaps with a beverage of your choice) without the pressure of needing to feed others can be fun.

30. Honor your spiritual needs

For many people, spirituality is about what gives life meaning. To nurture your spiritual side, you might pick up a book on a spiritual topic that resonates with you or find a set of friends who share your spiritual views - whatever they may be.

31. Cry it out

Sometimes, we all just need to let our big emotions escape.

It turns out, crying can even come with some benefits. Better emotion regulation and helping us bond with loved ones are just some of the ways crying can be good for us.

32. Pick up the phone

Call a friend or loved one and spend some time catching up.

33. Sleep

Perhaps one of the most important forms of self-care, allowing yourself to get the sleep you need can help you feel your best.

If you want to learn more about how to promote good sleep, here are some extra tips.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to Love Yourself More: 33 Self-Care Tips

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
There are so many ways to practice self-love - the options truly are limitless. But if you're looking for some ideas to get started, these are some great first steps. It's not uncommon to feel drained when you're constantly working to meet the needs of others - especially when you're a caregiver.

# data[].attributes.body
https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/the-art-of-being-yourself/

It is mainly about not doubting yourself that you are good. And you should only get along with people who accept you. Also, only listen to the compliments that people say. They say never hate yourself. Be proud of yourself and enjoy the little moments, especially with your friends.
So the point here is just that they give you tips on how to be yourself.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The most important part of self-discovery is learning how to be genuine, to slow down and appreciate the things that make you who you are. It is important to take a well-deserved break from criticism, especially when you find yourself feeling self-conscious the majority of the time. When negative thoughts start to feel like mosquito bites you've scratched over and over to no avail, that is the time to let go of what you cannot change in that moment. Start to realize, who you are should coincide with who you want to be. To be your purest self, not tainted by circumstances and reactions, focus solely on passion and appreciation. Think the thoughts you want to have and do the things you want to do. It isn't easy, but it's worth it.

And for me, it means liberating myself from myself.

And although people aren't always able to put self-criticism on hold, most of us could greatly benefit from the opportunity to put aside some thoughts that don't require our immediate attention. Obsessing about the past or the future, for instance, is something you don't need to focus on in this particular moment. You should try to change what no longer serves you. If you embarrassed yourself six months ago and you still spend time wishing you could go back and change it, I'm sorry, but you can't and it is time to let it go.

Even more important, never surmount your worth to the judgment of another. The "never-good-enough," culture we live in thrives on self-hatred. It becomes especially apparent to me in the moments when I'm in my truest form and I am trying to avoid hatred of any kind. For example, when I picked up creative writing again for the first time, since before I owned a smartphone. Within the first few minutes of the, "writing process," I simultaneously checked my email, texted a friend, and tweeted what I was doing. And after seeing that what I wrote was garbage, I stopped all of the approval-seeking shenanigans and just wrote. And I wrote for me and only me.

What happened in that brief moment of just writing was it became clear who I was was not the sum of my minutes strategically placed in the view of others. I was the culmination of my own pride. As opposed to being a phony bologna, someone who is happy just to have posted something on clever on Facebook, I found pride in my own accomplishments. For so long I had been caught up in gaining the approval of others, that I forgot what it was like to make my own esteem. I thought about how much time and energy I wasted giving the things I love half my attention, instead of focusing on a single meaningful task with all my heart. This realization confirmed how necessary it would become for me to only let things into my life that I truly wanted to be there. I would tackle tasks that served my soul rather than my reputation. This was the secret to my deepest sense of fulfillment.

My new found fear of craving external validation and subsequent aversion to social media, stemmed from an issue that could be traced back to my childhood. Before I ever even heard of a status update. Even as a young girl, my thoughts were often cluttered with the desire to seem perfect. I cared about having impeccable grades in subjects I hated and unbeatable skills in sports I had absolutely no interest in. I wanted to wear the most on-trend clothing, even if deep down I thought the trend was stupid. I, foolishly, spent most of my life thinking this was an asset to my personality rather than a problem. It was alright to feel that way because it would inevitably lead me in the right direction. That must be a lie we all tell ourselves to avoid staring in the face of what is, common, but also very flawed human nature. The right direction is never away from yourself. Basing what you say and do on the opinions of others is all just an act. You could perform for as long as you want, but the moment I decided to truly participate in my life, I felt so much more supremely justified. My successes were rewarded with inner peace, not temporary praise that dripped away from me like rain on glass. I excelled at the art of being myself.

So try not to focus on getting a great picture at an event. Have a conversation with someone where you don't hold back anything. Go out and don't check your phone for a while. Try just to have fun, in spite of your insecurities. I am adamant to protect who I am, and you should be to. You can never fail trying to be yourself. This is my passionate plea to anyone suffering from the pain that comes from rushing toward the instant gratification of approval and external validation. Let go of the raindrops that slide off the glass, they are the tears of an unsatisfied soul.

Life is your window, shine your light out.

You can read more from Alexrandra Pellegrino on her blog.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The most important part of self-discovery is learning how to be genuine, to slow down and appreciate the things that make you who you are. It is important to take a well-deserved break from criticism, especially when you find yourself feeling self-conscious the majority of the time.

# data[].attributes.headline
Yes, you should really 'be yourself' at work

# data[].attributes.subject
Yes, you should really 'be yourself' at work

# data[].attributes.body
They tell something about the stress that work brings. What you can do and say and what not. And where the line is drawn. They talk about Psychological safety and that it is like a miracle drug. Most of the time they speak literly about 'be yourself at work' but I think that could help to at school.

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20181129-yes-you-should-really-be-yourself-at-work
Mira F

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Feeling comfortable and empowered lets you take more risks, speak out more and solve problems better, research says - but your boss needs to set the tone for a safe space for all.
One day, Lucy Parsons' boss arrived at work without his usual moustache. It was a small thing, but she felt stressed. Should she mention it or not? Would it be OK to make a quick joke or at least ask what happened?

Back then, she was a 23-year-old who had just completed her company's graduate scheme. She was working on interesting projects at a retail firm in the UK and her career path looked promising. But she struggled to grasp the small, unwritten rules of the corporate world.

"It was this constant analysis and navigation of what I could say, what I could not say, what I could do, what I could not do," she recalls.

Many workers will understand Lucy's anxiety. If you think about it, a lot of what we do at work carries some risk. What happens if someone dislikes an aspect of your personality? What is the line between being friendly and being a nuisance? How much of yourself can you safely 'let go' at work?

As it turns out, the way teams allow people to 'be themselves' at work has important implications. Recent research suggests that work environments where people feel able to take interpersonal risks not only perform better, but are also more creative and more likely to solve problems effectively.

This feature, called 'psychological safety', has many upsides. More than that, it is changing the workplace in surprising ways.

Some people keep their guard up at work, but experts say the more you can express yourself, the more creative and productive you'll be (Credit: Alamy Stock Photo)

It can be hard to speak out at work or disagree with a colleague. In some environments, there is a real risk of being embarrassed, rejected or even punished for doing so. Psychological safety means being able to take those risks safely. "It is being able to share different ideas without feeling ostracised," explains Alexander Newman, a psychologist and researcher on Deakin University in Australia.

It covers attitudes and behaviours like being able to talk through issues and point out problems, ask for help or simply be different without feeling rejected. The concept was defined in a 1999 academic paper by Amy Edmonson, a researcher from Harvard University who studied how a team "obtains and processes data that allow it to adapt and improve", an ability she called 'learning behaviour'. She found that the safer a team was, the better they learned.

Psychological safety seems like the HR equivalent of a miracle drug

Edmonson thought her findings were important: "With the promise of more uncertainty, more change and less job security in future organisations, teams are in a position to provide an important source of psychological safety for individuals at work." Since then, it has been found that psychological safety also correlates to better performance and higher creativity in work teams. On an individual level, researchers say it has a positive effect on engagement and commitment.

The concept really became fashionable after a 2016 Google study which found that the better performing teams were not those with the more capable or talented members, but those which excelled at working together. In turn, the better predictor of a good team turned out to be its psychological safety, an internal guide says.

People who work in such groups "are less likely to leave Google, they're more likely to harness the power of diverse ideas from their teammates, they bring in more revenue, and they're rated as effective twice as often by executives", wrote the lead researcher from the tech giant, Julia Rozovsky.

Psychological safety seems like the HR equivalent of a miracle drug, but the way to achieve it seems counterintuitive. In teams where 'groupthink' is dominant or where making and acknowledging mistakes is costly, workers tend to strengthen their individual position and appear less vulnerable to their peers.

Real success at work comes from "being able to share different ideas without feeling ostracised," experts and studies suggest (Credit: Alamy Stock Photo)

But the exact opposite behaviour is needed to achieve psychological safety: teams need to embrace vulnerability in order to 'lower the cost' of taking risks. "The safer team members feel with one another, the more likely they are to admit mistakes, to partner and to take on new roles," writes Rozovsky.

To do that, colleagues must build empathy. "You have to make sure people respect each other's views," says Newman. Workers should not only listen but understand their colleague's perspective. If you know why someone acted as they did, you feel less inclined to judge them.

This is especially true for people who struggle to grasp a group's norms, he adds, like very young or shy workers, or those facing cultural barriers. If they feel misunderstood or ostracised, they are less eager to stand out and show what they have to offer, says Newman.

&nbsp;In the old days most organisations were run by fear - Thom Dennis

There is not much research on any possible link to mental health, but Parsons' anecdotical experience suggests that employees in unsafe environments can pay a hefty toll. "I was very depressed, I gained a lot of weight. I spent a lot of time in the office crying, and eventually someone noticed. It made things worse, of course."

Psychological safety is particularly important for bringing out the best in a diverse workforce (and recent research indicates diversity can benefit profitability). Newman explains that in safe environments "minority workers tend to speak out more" and be more productive. A US research paper found that psychological safety allows minority workers to "mitigate individual fears associated with identity expression, paving the way for individual performance".

Perhaps psychological safety is part of is the reason why decades-old grievances about gender and race issues at work, such as the #MeToo movement, are starting to be aired. "In the old days most organisations were run by fear," says Thom Dennis, a work psychology consultant. This silenced victims for decades, but now "they are feeling empowered enough to do something about it".

Psychological safety at work has to come from the top down - otherwise you'll be in a precarious comfort situation on the job (Credit: Alamy Stock Photo)

Psychological safety is mostly a feature of teams, not organizations or branches - some teams within companies will be safer than others. Therefore, creating psychological safety cannot be a 'top-down' initiative.

Psychological safety depends on group norms. Unlike explicit rules, norms are shared conventions and standards, and they are not necessarily written down or explained out loud. Some groups can enforce consensus more than others, be more open to questioning leadership, accepting and correcting mistakes, or encouraging junior members to express opinions. None of these things are likely to appear in an official work contract, but they are all crucial to creating a safer environment.

Some group leaders may incline more towards making their teams feel safer, if they have personality traits like empathy or willingness to listen. Still, psychological safety is not something that happens by chance - there are things leaders can do to encourage it.

If they feel misunderstood or ostracised, they are less eager to stand out and show what they have to offer

In Dennis' view, leaders should examine the way they exert power and influence. An imposing boss, who resents questioning or needs the last word, tends to make groups rather unsafe. In many cases, he says, change needs to start at the top. "Part of the exploration of a good leader is to understand the drivers of their ego."

Another feature of psychological safety is accepting failure. The Silicon Valley attitude of tolerating errors or even celebrating them seems a healthier way to go than condemning them. "Groups where mistakes are not frowned upon are more psychologically safe," says Newman.

Showing vulnerability also might work. As reported by The New York Times, a successful Google manager who was trying to implement Rozovsky's findings to improve morale asked everyone in his team to share something about themselves. He went first: ''I think one of the things most people don't know about me is that I have Stage 4 cancer." After his disclosure, everyone felt freer to discuss difficult work issues, the paper reported.

The key is enabling people to speak honestly. In Dennis' view, companies should create safe spaces at work, because information about problems tends to get stuck on its way to the top and psychologically unsafe groups may well remain under the radar of HR or top leadership teams. Newman says that leaders should explicitly encourage workers to express their own opinions and foster a climate of respect.

It is an effort worth making. Parsons' experience shows both how subtle psychological safety can be and how deep can it run. Nothing was really wrong with the company, she says, the environment was not toxic and people were all very capable. The problem was something in the culture, something subtle enough her boss was very surprised when she left.

"How did a guy who sat two desks away from me, who I spoke to several times a day, every single day, not notice how bad I was feeling?" she asks. It happened nine years ago, but she still sounds baffled.
If you liked this story, sign up for the weekly bbc.com features newsletter called "If You Only Read 6 Things This Week". A handpicked selection of stories from BBC Future, Culture, Capital and Travel, delivered to your inbox every Friday.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Yes, you should really 'be yourself' at work

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Feeling comfortable and empowered lets you take more risks, speak out more and solve problems better, research says - but your boss needs to set the tone for a safe space for all.

# data[].attributes.body
this article is about  Why You Don't Always Need to "Be Yourself".
They say what you have to do to accept yoursef.
And a little info under the title.

1. Get to know the many facets of your “self.”

2. Accept your personality traits.

3. Being yourself also means being appropriate and respectful.

4. Never be who you’re not.

5. Give yourself a break!

Now  3 meaningful items/tips
- don't focus what people think about you.
- talk to people if your sad about something.
- Try to do something you enjoy every day.
Martha

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
"Be yourself." You hear it all the time. But are we really meant to be ourselves, all of the time? What about on a first date? A job interview? When you have a meeting with an intimidating manager or client, or lunch with your in-laws?

Being yourself can get confusing-and it's not always possible. As an energetic extrovert, I love new social encounters but have to tweak my style often. I have to gauge when I can truly "be myself" versus when I need to tone it down and show a more conservative side.

On the other hand, I coach a lot of introverts on how to dial their personality up and how to decide exactly when they need to. (If you're more of a quiet type, check out the introvert's guide to owning any social situation before your next big event.)

However, there's no rule book for figuring out how much of your true self to reveal on a day-to-day basis (if only!). We only have our common sense to judge which version to present in any scenario.

Below are five tips for putting this popular yet fuzzy advice into action.

1. Get to know the many facets of your "self."

Some days you will be more upbeat than others. Some days you will feel more confident than others. Some days more subdued, and others more excitable. This is a good thing: It gives us great flexibility to amp up certain elements of ourselves when appropriate-like letting our fun-loving side out at a bar with more exuberant colleagues, then dialing it down at a dinner party with the boss.

You are a beautifully unique, complex individual with many different aspects to your personality. Allowing your full spectrum to exist matters. This is what makes the world is so interesting and colorful.

2. Accept your personality traits.

Most people know if they are introverted, extroverted, or an ambivert (which is a blend of the two). Give yourself permission to own this and know when you either need alone time, or more time with other people, to fuel your soul. No one way of being is superior to another.

Knowing who you are simply puts you in a position to make choices that complement your preferences. While an extrovert may thrive by filling up their social calendar, an introvert might benefit from prioritizing some nights in to Netflix and chill. Both are awesome!

3. Being yourself also means being appropriate and respectful.

Don't let your personality type be an excuse for not making an effort. Maturity means taking stock of the situation you are in and making others around you feel comfortable. For example, if an introvert is at an important networking event, speaking to the one person they know in the corner all evening may appear rude to the host or planner. An extrovert may piss people off by being the loudest or most outspoken person at a gathering where the focus is on someone else's birthday or engagement. If you are unsure, ask yourself, "Which is the coolest and kindest version of myself to be right now?"

4. Never be who you're not.

As mentioned in point one, everyone's personality contains a variety of aspects. However, you should never have to try to be someone you're not or go against your personal values or authentic self.

So you don't want to smoke, go skiing, or hit up a nightclub this weekend? Then don't. You don't have to do something just because that's what your friends are doing. People respect those who are authentic to who they are. And you should appreciate yourself for making your desires the priority that they deserve to be.

5. Give yourself a break!

Life is a journey of becoming the highest version of who you are, and no one gets it right every time. We all have bratty moments. We all have generous moments. We all go through ups and downs and experience scary new encounters.

But you can always come back to who you are, because your true essence never wavers. In moments of fear or uncertainty, give yourself a gentle nudge and say, "I'm enough no matter what. So which 'myself' is the most suitable and loving to be right now?"

And rock being that.
Susie Moore is Greatist's life coach columnist and a confidence coach in New York City. Sign up for her free weekly wellness tips on her website and check back every Tuesday for her latest column!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Here's Why You Don't Always Need to "Be Yourself"

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
"Be yourself." You hear it all the time. But are we really meant to be ourselves, all of the time? What about on a first date? A job interview? When you have a meeting with an intimidating manager or client, or lunch with your in-laws? Being yourself can get confusing-and it's not always possible.

# data[].attributes.body
She says she puts on clothes she likes, she puts her hair how she likes it but she doesn't do any of that for herself.
She sometimes feels like she has to behave well etc to get a place in the world but she really just wants to trust herself and be who she really is.

Things you can do:

1. Take a break from social media
2. Resist the urge to constantly please others
3. Only say things you mean
4. Get to know yourself better
5. Try not to overanalyze and be fully present in every moment
6. Be kind to yourself and appreciate who you are

Stay who you are, you are beautiful!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to Be Yourself in a World That Wants to Change You

# data[].attributes.body
This article talks about who you are and how to be you self.
Step 1 is: figure out who you are. So do the tings you like.
Step 2 is: Reflect on old values vs new ones.
Step 3 is: Dont focus on the past. So you can discover new thing about you. And they talk alot about self respect.
They really help you to find out who you are.

My tips for your mental health:
1: Put yourself first. Because if you are not satisfied with yourself, how can you be satisfied with other things in life?

2: Don't put all your focus on social media. Because you will start comparing yourself to others too much and that will only make you feel less self-confident.

3: If you are sad, do something about it. It's not going to get better by just lying in your bed. So go and do sports or do something fun with friends.

Emme

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Who am I? What do I want? What am I here for? These are the questions that haunt the modern man.

Having a concrete sense of self is an essential part of your existence.

Without it, you'll find that goals are harder to define and your needs harder to understand.

Discovering who you are doesn't have to be as abstract as it sounds.

Here are 16 steps you can take to become your awesome self:
Before I get started, I want to let you know about a new personal responsibility workshop I've helped to create. I know that life isn't always kind or fair. But courage, perseverance, honesty - and above all else taking responsibility - are the only ways to overcome the challenges that life throws at us. Check out the workshop here. If you want to seize control of your life, then this is the online resource you need.
Step 1: Figure Out Who You Are

A big part of figuring out who you are as a person is nailing down the specific personality traits that make you

People are mostly a combination of their good and bad traits, and figuring out which of these define you will help you understand yourself better.

Start by defining yourself according to your terms. Are you funny? Charming? Altruistic? Passionate? Effeminate? Aggressive? Ill-willed?

Being able to name your defining characteristics allows you to see yourself in a balanced way.

More importantly, it encourages you to become self-aware and distinguish the good from the bad.

Step 2: Reflect On Old Values VS New Ones

Don't make the mistake of thinking that our defining personality traits are set in stone.

Your political orientation, religious view, and sexual preference, no matter how strongly you feel about these traits, realize that they are bound to change as you evolve into a fuller person.

Human beings are dynamic. Just because you believe in one thing doesn't mean you can't believe in another.

Be open to the possibility of having different, even conflicting views. Changing convictions don't make you an inauthentic person.

Remember that the human spirit is very much capable of change and that you should be accepting of that natural phenomenon.

Step 3: Don't Focus On The Past You

Everyone has a cringe-worthy moment. You may have been insensitive, selfish, or conniving in the past, but that doesn't mean you have to keep atoning for old behavior for the rest of your life.

Take a step back and breathe. Don't forget the context of your behavior and remember to place them in the past.

Your previous choices and behavior, although impactful, do not define who you are, much less who you will transition into as you grow into a fuller person.

It's incredibly unhealthy to keep nagging yourself for things that you did in the past. Invest in the art of letting go and moving on.
(Taking responsibility is the most important attribute you can possess in life. Check out our no-nonsense guide to taking responsibility here).
Step 4: Don't Compare Yourself To Others

As you try to understand who you are as an individual, it will be tempting to compare yourself to others.

We are surrounded by more beautiful, more successful, and more appealing versions of ourselves, and those alone can knock down our self-confidence and send us spiraling into mimicry.

It's easy not to like who you are and base your personality off someone else's because they're awesome or funny or rich.

However, doing this will only stifle your growth and prevent you from discovering your true self.

Once again, you will fall into a pattern of false self-discovery and wind up creating a persona instead of discovering your personality.

Step 5: Take Responsibility For Your Life

The best way to become your awesome self is to take ultimate responsibility for everything in your life.

I know that bad things happen in life and they're not always your fault.

But the simple truth is that you're ultimately responsible for everything that happens in your life. While you can't always prevent bad things from happening, you are in complete control as to how you respond to them.

Because the reality is that YOU are ultimately responsible for everything, including for your happiness and unhappiness, successes and failures, and for how you respond to your challenges.

I want to briefly share with you how taking responsibility has transformed my own life.

Did you know that 6 years ago I was anxious, miserable and working every day in a warehouse?

I was stuck in a hopeless cycle and had no idea how to get out of it.

My solution was to stamp out my victim mentality and take personal responsibility for everything in my life. I wrote about my journey here.

Fast forward to today and my website Hack Spirit is helping millions of people make radical shifts in their own lives. We've become one of the world's biggest websites on mindfulness and practical psychology.

This isn't about bragging, but to show how powerful taking responsibility can be...

... Because you too can transform your own life by taking complete ownership of it.

To help you do this, I've collaborated with my brother Justin Brown to create an online personal responsibility workshop. We give you a unique framework for finding your best self and achieving powerful things.

It's quickly become Ideapod's most popular workshop. Check it out here.

If you want to seize control of your life, like I did 6 years ago, then this is the online resource you need.

Here's a link to our best-selling workshop again.

Step 6: Focus On Your Growth, Ignore What People Say About You

Accept the fact that other people will doubt your motives and question your authenticity.

Individuals who have been a part of your life in one way or another will always use older versions of you as a reference, which might be discouraging considering the massive gap between who you were and who you want to be.

You will be tempted to say something about your journey and call people out.

Hold out on snarky remarks and remember why you're doing this: it's not for anyone else but yourself.

You're doing this because you want to become a better version of yourself.

Step 7: Express Your Individuality

As you grow more and more confident about what makes you a unique individual, you should find outlets that validate these characteristics.

At the very least, find platforms where you can freely express yourself and your individuality.

Want to express yourself through clothing? Go ahead. Want to start blogging about your thoughts and opinions? Set one up.

The purpose of this step is twofold: first, you get to exercise who you are as a person; second, you put yourself to the test.

You find ways to flesh out what you think your defining traits are and see if they come naturally to you.

Step 8: Accept your emotions without judging them

Whenever we experience a negative emotion, our first instinct is to ignore it or push it away.

And this is fair enough. Those feelings can be painful and difficult to handle.

However, when we reject our emotions, we deny a part of ourselves.

Now, I'm not saying that we should wallow in our negative emotions.

Instead, we should acknowledge and accept them.

This means letting your emotions be without negatively judging them or trying to change them.

It's about understanding that you don't need to change your emotions. They won't do damage to you.

Research shows that learning to accept emotions leads to stable emotional resilience.

It also leads to a better understanding of yourself and why your emotions are responding in certain ways.

This doesn't mean voluntary suffering. It just means that you acknowledge what you're feeling.

Once you've done that, you can move on and focus on your actions.

In the end, if you're able to accept yourself and all of your emotions, you'll be more easily able to be your true self.
[To learn techniques to accept your emotions and calm your mind, check out my new no-nonsense guide to using Buddhism for a better life here].
Step 9: Who are you surrounding yourself with?

This is crucially important when you want to find out who you indeed are.

If you're surrounding yourself with harmful and toxic people, then you won't be able to be your true self.

You'll be nervous about revealing your negative traits because you know they'll gossip and tease you.

We're all influenced by who we spend our time with. If they're harmful and toxic, then over time they'll make your personality more negative and toxic.

Choose to spend time with people who are genuine and optimistic. People who don't judge others constantly. People who are kind and considerate to others.

To be your true self, you need to be comfortable revealing your insecurities and your unique tidbits to others.

When you're able to express yourself fully with others, you'll find it much easier to be yourself. You'll also become a better person.

Step 10: Stand Up For Your Values

It's not just your hobbies and your personality that makeup who you are. The things you stand for significantly reflect your identity.

Even staying silent about specific controversies say a lot about you as a person, so choose your battles conscientiously.

Step 11: Be Confident In Who You Are

As you become more comfortable in your skin, you will face detractors who will challenge everything about you.

It's normal to feel shaken, but don't let brief moments of self-doubt evolve into uncertainty.

If you can come out stronger and surer than ever after facing adversity, you'll relish the fact that you're a step closer to becoming your awesome self.

Step 12: Accept Change

You spend weeks, months, years figuring out who you are as a person. As with step 2, there will come a time when your current values no longer make sense.

You will feel that certain beliefs are irrelevant and you will start questioning the things you think and do

It's easy to feel wrong about them but do your best not to. Remember that you are a dynamic individual.

Change should become an inevitable and welcome part of you as you gain new experiences in life.

Step 13: Get out there and exercise

You might not enjoy this one, but exercise is probably one of the most proven natural methods to make you feel better about yourself.

You'll feel healthier, happier and your self-esteem will improve. By improving your self-esteem, you'll be more proud to be who you truly are.

Harvard Health says that aerobic exercise is as key for your head, just as it is for your heart:

"Regular aerobic exercise will bring remarkable changes to your body, your metabolism, your heart, and your spirits. It has a unique capacity to exhilarate and relax, to provide stimulation and calm, to counter depression and dissipate stress. It's a common experience among endurance athletes and has been verified in clinical trials that have successfully used exercise to treat anxiety disorders and clinical depression. If athletes and patients can derive psychological benefits from exercise, so can you."

So, how does exercise specifically make you be your true self?

Because exercise is a known mood lifter. And when you're feeling good, self-doubt and self-loathing are less able to creep in. You'll feel freer to be who you indeed are.

Step 14: Do what you'll say you'll do

If you want to be proud of yourself and who you are, take action when you say you'll act.

We all know people who say they'll do something; then they never do it.

How do you feel about them? That's right; they lack integrity and respect.

So what happens when you do the same? You'll lack respect for yourself.

So to build your credibility and integrity, take action when you say you'll take action.

Every time you say you'll do something and you do it, you'll build confidence in yourself.

The only way you're going to be your true self is when you're proud of who you are.

And there's nothing more proud than being someone is kind, considerate and takes action when they say they'll take action.

Step 15: It's time to get out of your comfort zone

You've probably heard the phrase that progress can't be made in your comfort zone.

And annoying as it is, it's true.

If you're not being your true self, then I'm also willing to bet that you're not really getting out of your comfort zone.

The more you get out of your comfort zone, you more you'll understand yourself and what you love to do in life.

The way you respond to different experiences will make you more mature and confident in who you are.

Now you don't need to do something crazy to get out of your comfort zone. You can take small steps that will slowly expand how big your comfort zone is.

All you have to do is something that's different that you wouldn't usually do and that makes you slightly nervous.

Over time, you'll slowly expand your comfort zone and you'll be more confident in yourself.

"Experience life in all possible ways -good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter. Experience all the dualities. Don't be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become." - Osho

Step 16: Enjoy Life

Finally, don't forget to actually enjoy life and relish your place in it. People find it charming when someone enjoys their life.

Spending your time figuring out what makes you unique becomes futile if you don't get to enjoy who you are as a person.

In conclusion

So practice self-awareness one step at a time. The journey to self-discovery should be organic. Don't force it and you'll find that things will naturally fall into place.

You may also like reading:

Like us on Facebook to receive useful articles in your feed.

Hack Spirit just launched a YouTube channel... And it's awesome!

We're sharing practical relationship advice in the form of videos. The early feedback has been incredible, but our channel is still so small...

We would love to get your help by subscribing to the channel below. It just takes a quick click of the button and means so much to us.

If you subscribe, you'll start to see our videos in your YouTube feed. We promise to entertain and inform you with relationship advice and other practical self-improvement advice.

Subscribe below!

And check out our latest video: 17 signs you have an alpha, badass personality that others find intimidating

Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the Hack Spirit review team. In our reviews, Hack Spirit highlights products and services that you might find interesting. If you buy them, we receive a small commission from that sale. However, we only ever recommend products that we have personally investigated and truly feel could be valuable to you. Read our affiliate disclosure here. We welcome your feedback at [email protected] .
Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
15 steps to discover who you really are and live with passion and purpose

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Who am I? What do I want? What am I here for? These are the questions that haunt the modern man. Having a concrete sense of self is an essential part of your existence. Without it, you'll find that goals are harder to define and your needs harder to understand.

# data[].attributes.body
it goes about the benefits of being yourself online.
If you live in the world of Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, ... , there is the world full hapinness, fun and people who are doing very beautiful vacations. Not everybody is happy. Some people are realy sad if they see pictures of celebrity's. The site have done a test on facebook. the test showed that many people were not happy. their conclusion was to get rid of the social websites. If we rid the social websites then are more people happy.

Gerald

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
With a steady stream of avocado toast, latte art and vintage Huji filters, Instagram advertises the kind of life to which almost anyone would aspire. If you take social media's word for it, the world is full of happy, healthy, thriving people taking luxury vacations, getting drinks with lifelong friends and promoting their passion projects online. Even amid a global pandemic and record levels of social isolation, many still fall prey to the glossy perfection of the feed.

But celebrities such as Chrissy Teigen and Dax Shepard have gone in a different direction, inspiring millions of users by sharing both the mundane and raw experiences of real life. Are people happier and more satisfied when they present themselves in a way that feels real or when they share a self-idealized version of their life? In our research, published in Nature Communications, we set out to tackle this question and determine how individuals' online image actually affects them.

Our starting point was a data set of more than 10,000 Facebook users who had completed a personality questionnaire and volunteered to have their Facebook profile information used for scientific purposes. This unique data set allowed us to compare the way that people see themselves (i.e., their responses to the personality questions) with how they portray themselves to their social network and the world through their posts and the pages they follow (i.e., computer-based predictions of their personality from Facebook posts and pages).

For example, "Jane" might think of herself as an introvert and describe herself as such in a questionnaire. If she posted on social media in the way introverts typically do (e.g., talking about reading, books or computers), her social media authenticity score would be high. In other words, her self-view would match the way she expressed herself to others. In contrast, if Jane were to describe herself as an introvert but post in a way that is typical of extraverts (e.g., talking about parties or weekends out), her social media authenticity score would be low.

Mapping this authenticity score to participants' level of life satisfaction (i.e., the extent to which they evaluated the overall conditions of their life as positive and desirable) showed that those who expressed themselves in a more authentic-rather than self-idealized-way reported more satisfaction with their life. A clear win for Teigen and Shepard!

Yet one of the questions that came up was: "Is this really true for everybody? Sure, if I am an emotionally stable extravert, posting authentically might be great. It's who I am but also who everybody else wants me to be. What if I am neurotic and an introvert instead? Would I benefit equally from being my authentic self?" So we went back to our data to test that. As it turns out, this worry was largely unfounded. The extent to which authentic self-expression on social media was related to participants' life satisfaction did not depend on how socially desirable their personality profiles were. In other words, both extraverts and introverts benefitted equally from being true to themselves.

But does authentic expression actually lead to higher levels of life satisfaction? Or is it the case that people who are more satisfied with their lives find it easier to post authentically? To show that posting in an authentic way was indeed driving well-being, we followed up on our initial study with an experiment to demonstrate causality.

For this experiment, we recruited social media users and randomly assigned them to either post in a way that was authentic (based on their personality) or post in a way that was popular and made them look good in the eyes of others. After a week spent following these instructions, we switched the groups: the people who had initially posted in an authentic way were then asked to post in an idealized way, and vice versa. Supporting our initial finding, we discovered that after posting in an authentic way for a week, participants reported higher levels of positive affect and mood than they did after the week in which they posted to please others.

Our findings can't speak to the question of whether using social media is better than not using it at all. Abstaining from social media altogether might yield the highest levels of life satisfaction. But our results do suggest that if you use social media regularly, you should try not to fall prey to the perfection-instead just be yourself!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
With a steady stream of avocado toast, latte art and vintage Huji filters, Instagram advertises the kind of life to which almost anyone would aspire. If you take social media's word for it, the world is full of happy, healthy, thriving people taking luxury vacations, getting drinks with lifelong friends and promoting their passion projects online.

# data[].attributes.body
When you feel there's something wrong with you because no one likes you, everyone's ignoring you or only a specific type of people like you, when you're single and think that you're not good enough for a boyfriend or girlfriend, realize that there's nothing wrong with you and be proud of who you are. You know your partner loves you for who you are and don't have to do anything to have him/her hang on to you. If people are going to like you, they're going to like you for who you truly are and for being yourself. It's better to lose your relationship for being yourself than to pretend to be someone else and keep your relationship, to lose it later on.
Renee

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Being yourself is one of the most freeing things ever to do. It gives you your peace of mind and a great sense of fulfillment. There's a lot of magic in being yourself. What's the point being someone you're not? I mean why would you even do that? Don't you know you're really beautiful. There's no reason to if you think about it. God created us in his own image. That alone makes us beautiful. I won't replace that for anything.

In relationships, be yourself. It's better to be yourself and be loved than to pretend to be someone else. It's better to lose your relationship for being yourself than to pretend to be someone else and keep your relationship, to lose it later on. See when you're yourself, you're free. You have nothing to worry about. You know your partner loves you for who you are and don't have to do anything to have him/her hang on to you.

When you don't have any friends and think you're probably not cool, and are forced to do something to gain attention, don't. Just be yourself. If people are going to like you, they're going to like you for who you truly are and for being yourself. You wouldn't feel fulfilled pretending to be someone or something you're not.

What pressure!

Someone doesn't like you because you're this or that, because you don't party, don't smoke, because you study all the time, because you don't like to dress, because you don't like rock music, because you're white, Asian ... it shouldn't bother you. You're beautiful however you are.

Don't let any of that bother you. Be yourself anyway and realize that it's you, no one else. You're free from all pressure and get to live life fully. When you feel there's something wrong with you because no one likes you, everyone's ignoring you or only a specific type of people like you, when you're single and think that you're not good enough for a boyfriend or girlfriend, realize that there's nothing wrong with you and be proud of who you are. Don't change anything about you. Again, people will love you for who you are and not who you're not.

Be proud of who you are and always be yourself because you're beautiful.

Take care everyone and Happy Steeming :)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Being yourself is one of the most freeing things ever to do. It gives you your peace of mind and a great sense of fulfillment. There's a lot of magic in being yourself. What's the point being someone you're not? I mean why would you even do that?

# data[].attributes.body
Apparently, it is now scientifically proven that authencity is important for feeling happy.  They found this out through an ingenious study.

Participants were randomly assigned to one of two groups. Participants in the first group were instructed to remember a situation in which they were authentic and to write about it. In contrast, participants in the second group were instructed to remember a situation in which they felt inauthentic and to write about it. Immediately after doing so, participants completed a happiness test that specifically related to how they felt at that moment. Remarkably, those in the first group, who were simply asked to remember being authentic, were happier than those in the second group, who were asked to remember being inauthentic. The message: Bring more authencity into your life.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201710/why-being-yourself-matters

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
You may have heard that the key to a happy life is authenticity, but surprisingly it is only recently that researchers have actually put this to the test.

In 2014, Guler Boyraz and colleagues at Louisiana Tech University published an important study in which data were collected from 232 people about their authenticity, life satisfaction and levels of distress at two points in time separated by almost two months. They found that those who showed greater authenticity at the first time point were more satisfied with life and less distressed at the second time point; but distress and satisfaction at the first time point did not predict authenticity at the second time point. So it does seem likely that authenticity leads to happiness.

This is great news if you want to be happier as you can begin to introduce more authenticity into your life.

In an ingenious study published by Yona Kifer and colleagues at Tel Aviv University, participants were assigned randomly to one of two groups. Those in the first group were instructed to recall and write about a situation in which they were authentic:

"Please recall a particular incident in which you felt authentic. By authentic, we mean a situation in which you were true to yourself and experienced yourself as behaving in accordance with your true thoughts, beliefs, personality, or values. Try to relive this situation in your imagination. Please describe this situation in which you felt authentic - what happened, how you felt, etc."

In contrast, those in the second group were instructed to recall and write about a situation in which they were inauthentic:

"Please recall a particular incident in which you felt inauthentic. By inauthentic, we mean a situation in which you were not true to yourself and experienced yourself as not behaving in accordance with your true thoughts, beliefs, personality, or values. Try to relive this situation in your imagination. Please describe this situation in which you felt inauthentic - what happened, how you felt, etc."

Immediately after doing this, participants completed a test of happiness related specifically to how they were feeling at the present time. Remarkably, those in the first group who were simply asked to recall being authentic were happier than those in the second group who were asked to recall inauthenticity.

Try putting the above experiment into practice for yourself. Think about a situation in which you were true to yourself and experienced yourself as behaving in accordance with your true thoughts, beliefs, personality or values. Take your time over this. Think about what you were doing, who you were with, and what you were feeling.

Importantly you may find that you want to build more authenticity in your day to day life.

Find out more about how to do this in my new book, Authentic. How to be yourself and why it matters http://www.authenticityformula.com/

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
You may have heard that the key to a happy life is authenticity, but surprisingly it is only recently that researchers have actually put this to the test. In 2014, Guler Boyraz and colleagues at Louisiana Tech University published an important study in which data were collected from 232 people about their authenticity, life satisfaction and levels of distress at two points in time separated by almost two months.

# data[].attributes.body
WILLEKE CHRISTIAENS

you should especially focus on the things that make you stand out from the crowd, on the things that only you can do and try to improve those too. thing you should do if you want to learn how to be yourself in any situation is to try to find yourself and define who you are on your own terms. Take some time and really think about yourself, about the things you enjoy and about the things you don’t really like. your flaws and about different ways to improve certain aspects about your behavior. Contemplate your life and your choices!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
7 Tips on How to Be Yourself in Any Situation ...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Find Yourself * Let Go of Your past * Be Honest with Yourself! * Learn to Relax * Express Your Individuality * More ...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Photo by Marco Secchi on Unsplash

I have a friend who wants to go out to the clubs and pesters me often about going with him. He's at a place in his life where those things are attractive to him since he recently got divorced. But that isn't me. It's not who I am.

If I was 20 years younger, then I might go. But I don't like to do those things now, so I say no every time. I have no problem going for a beer occasionally, hanging out together...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
I have a friend who wants to go out to the clubs and pesters me often about going with him. He's at a place in his life where those things are attractive to him since he recently got divorced. But...

# data[].attributes.headline
The Meaning of Being Yourself - 12 Ways To Be -

# data[].attributes.subject
The Meaning of Being Yourself - 12 Ways To Be -

# data[].attributes.body
https://antimaximalist.com/be-yourself/
Zana Hoorens

In the article they give tips how not to worry about other people's opinion.

These are the tips:

1. Stop worrying about how others see you

2. See yourself as enough

3. Don’t worry about pleasing others

4. Get to know yourself

5. Confidently own who you are

6. Appreciate yourself in all your uniqueness

7. Don’t be negative towards yourself

8. Be forgiving towards yourself

9. Look at mistakes as learning opportunities

10. Strive to accomplish what you desire

11. Do hobbies and activities you love

12. Be intentional

But my tip is just: it makes no sense to change you for other people, just be yourself and wait for people like you for yourself!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The advice people often give others who feel nervous in social settings is "Just be yourself." Unfortunately, sometimes that can be easier said than done.

Some people don't feel they know who they are. Sometimes we also don't feel comfortable being ourselves in front of others.

If you feel like either of those two cases describes you, rest assured it is possible be who you want to be around others.

The importance of being you

A simple way of understanding the idea of being who you are is to think about what you like and dislike doing when you're alone.

Do you like laughing loud at sitcoms?

Do you enjoy intellectual debates that provoke you to deep thought and questions?

Are you not a fan of going out to clubs?

Are you not interested in enjoying a beer with people?

The things you do or don't do when no one is looking is the basics of who you are. The key to showing that person off to others is to be okay with the fact that some people aren't going to like it or understand it.

Essentially we hide our personalities because we're fearful of others mocking us for it. We don't want to be judged harshly. But the thing is, that doesn't have to stop you from feeling good about who you are.

That's essentially what the people around you that you feel a need to impress are doing. So if they can do it, why can't you do it too?

So what if you don't live up to society's expectations and do what everyone else is doing. It's better than living a life that isn't true to who you are and makes you unhappy.

Be inspired and motivated to be true to the person you know yourself to be. Here are 12 powerful ways you can be more like yourself and have a happier, more optimistic life.

1. Stop worrying about how others see you

In some cases, pondering how others see you can be good for helping you make positive changes about yourself.

However, if you're constantly thinking about how others are perceiving who you are, you may end up feeling insecure.

If you feel you need to make changes about yourself, make those changes. If you don't, then don't worry with what others think.

2. See yourself as enough

You may feel like you have to be more "normal", "confident", "funny", or any other adjective you wish you were more of.

While we're always try to improve, remember that the person that you uniquely are is valuable. See yourself as enough to have friends like you, people hire you, and enjoy pleasant interactions overall.

3. Don't worry about pleasing others

Do you find yourself always doing what others want you to do and rarely doing the things you want to do? If so, that's a problem you need to fix.

There's nothing wrong with being considerate about other people's wants and needs. That's a part of being a nice person.

Nonetheless, you also need to have your own personal boundaries. Make sure you're doing just as much for yourself as you try to do for others.

4. Get to know yourself

We've probably all had moments where we wonder to ourselves, "Who am I?" We ponder if we really know who we are.

From birth to adulthood, we get filled with ideas of how we're supposed to see ourselves and how we're supposed to be.

Practice not thinking about how to act and just be spontaneous in how you choose to be. You'll learn more about the way you like to be who you are.

5. Confidently own who you are

If you doubt yourself from time to time, join the club. No matter how confident anyone around you appears, all of us feel a little doubt about ourselves sometimes.

One of the tricks to doubting less is to stop comparing yourself to others. Own who you are in all the uniqueness of your personality and characters. Projecting confidence about what you do and how you act can make others around you see you as confident too.

6. Appreciate yourself in all your uniqueness

Appreciate all of your weirdness in every way. All people have their odd quirks about them. The confident ones are the ones who can be comfortable with them no matter what people think.

Choose to feel good through all the weird things you may say or do sometimes. You may even make others feel good in their weirdness, and people usually like when others make them feel more comfortable.

7. Don't be negative towards yourself

Not all of us naturally feel glass half full. Some of us may struggle with often being more glass half empty. But being negative about the person you are won't make you feel better about yourself. Being happy with yourself requires you to have some positivity.
Related: 30 Ways to Be More Positive in 2021
8. Be forgiving towards yourself

If you were unnecessarily negative and hard on yourself in the past, forgive yourself. If you were a rude towards family, friends, and colleagues, forgive yourself.

We've all made mistakes, took wrong steps, and made some bad decisions. Choose to let go of the the past and focus on solutions that can change your reality. Be encouraging to yourself so you can feel up to becoming the best person you can be.

9. Look at mistakes as learning opportunities

When you make a mistake, you're getting closer to learning the right way to do something. You don't have to feel down on yourself for failing sometimes. Just learn to ponder over how things went wrong so you can know better what to do in the future.
Related: Mistakes Are Proof That You Are Trying, Failure Is One Of The Greatest Teachers In Life
10. Strive to accomplish what you desire

Don't allow your life to remain the same as it's always been. Be bold in going after what you want to achieve in life. Keep on improving yourself and getting closer to being true to who you are.

11. Do hobbies and activities you love

Perhaps one of the most authentic versions of yourself comes out when you're doing what you love. We all have things that we feel like we really live for.

Discover your passions and spend more of your time on those things. When you do the things you enjoy life, you can feel much happier.

12. Be intentional

People who do well at being themselves are intentional about their thoughts, feelings, and actions in life. Be intentional about choosing to be a laid back person if that's who you are.

Be intentional about being a silly and energetic person if that's you. Don't hesitate in acting and being what feels right to you. Be present.
Related: What Does It Mean To Be Present In Life?
Other encouraging articles
Love For Yourself - 10 Reasons to Love Yourself 25 Simple Ways To Make People Like You 7 Simple Ways to Stop Overthinking Everything

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The Meaning of Being Yourself - 12 Ways To Be Yourself - Antimaximalist

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The advice people often give others who feel nervous in social settings is "Just be yourself." Unfortunately, sometimes that can be easier said than done. Some people don't feel they know who they are. Sometimes we also don't feel comfortable being ourselves in front of others.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
"Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be." ~Alan Watts
I've heard the statement "just be yourself" so much. It sounds like an amazing thing to do, and I have wished many times that I could just do that. What I've wondered, though, is what in the world does that mean?

What if someone is a jerk to other people? Is it okay for them to just be themselves and go on being a jerk to everyone? How about people who are fearful of being around others and live a hermit-like life, avoiding people?

In my quest for answers I've found that it is very much possible to just be yourself. The person who is a jerk to others and the person who is afraid of social situations are, in actuality, not being themselves. Their real self is just being covered up with conditioned, fear-based thinking.

Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and pretentiousness.

It is who we really are when we let fall to the floor the cloak of other people's stuff that we have taken on.

Everything else that we claim to be when we say, "This is who I am!" is only a story.

Below are some steps that have helped me in uncovering my real nature, which is that being outside of the accumulated thoughts and beliefs that I have collected over a lifetime.

1. Get in touch with your inner child.

If you ever watch small children, you will notice just how free they are and how little they care about what other people think of them. They are happy and in the moment.

They are their true natures. They have not yet been socialized to "fit in" to a society that squashes that. They don't care if people think that they are silly while they dance in the front yard for all of the neighbors to see.

Children are just pure love and light. If you really want to get in touch with your inner child, become freer. Play, have fun, enjoy the moment, do cartwheels in the front yard.

My son has taught me this more than anything. He has helped me to see just how stiff and serious I can be. Thanks to him, I have tapped back into something that was forgotten.

We play roles to fit into society and we suppress our true nature out of fear of what others think. If you find yourself worrying about being judged, remember that is merely just the socialized you, not the real you.

2. Become more aware of your thoughts.

You may be shocked by the number of negative thoughts that run through your mind on any given day. After so long, our reality begins to take shape based on all of these conditioned thinking patterns.

Become more aware of the quality of your thinking. Allow yourself to sit quietly every morning before starting your day for just five to ten minutes.

Yes, thoughts will come and go, but just allow them to do that without getting attached to them. Just observe them. When you are finished, continue observing the mind throughout your day.

We have so many unconscious beliefs that we have taken on over the years that were probably handed down to us from somebody else, and that we believed to be who we are. Becoming more aware of the quality of your thoughts, letting go of the old beliefs, and becoming more present can help in revealing your true nature.

We are all so much more than those old negative thinking patterns would ever allow us to believe.

3. Follow your intuition.

This is probably one of the most important factors in being yourself. I ignored my intuition for the longest time because I felt so obligated to others. Their happiness was more important than my own.

I lived at home until I was twenty-five, ignored my urges to move to a new city, and stayed in unfulfilling jobs because I was so afraid of what other people would think of me, of failing, and of stepping out of my comfort zone. Because of this, I was incredibly unhappy.

I will tell you this, from my own personal experience: When you start following the little nudges and urges that you get, you will have hopped onto the magic carpet ride of awesomeness.

It doesn't mean that you will never have bumps in the road again, but when you are in alignment with your soul, you will always be steered in the best possible direction.

For me, it started when I followed my intuition out of a job where I was miserable, which was way out of character for me. I had nothing lined up, but thanks to my intuition, I landed back on my feet within a few months in an awesome new job.

Now, before you go quit your job, you can begin with small things, such as following through when you feel the urge to make a phone call, send an email, or take a different route to work. When you get into the habit of doing this with small things, it will make it easier to say yes to the big things, and to trust.
How do any of these things help you to just be yourself? Because they help you to be in alignment with your true nature.
Your authentic self is the real you that is beyond all of those conditioned beliefs and thinking patterns that you have accumulated throughout your life.

I was once a shy, reclusive, depressed, angry person-but I wasn't "being myself." While it is important to love and accept ourselves for where we are at the moment, looking back now, I see that I suppressed my true nature in order to please others and to fit in.

I began going within and doing spiritual study and practice in my late twenties, and have since become more aware of how much I was identified with my victim story, how I would play roles depending on who I was with, and just how much I cared about other people's perceptions of me.

I had lost touch with my natural self and stuffed it away in a box. Whenever I would notice myself getting attached to the stories and labels in my head or would catch myself playing roles with others, I would just breathe and relax into the moment without any labels or judgments.
It was a challenge because I cared so much about being accepted by others. So I would ask myself, "How would I act right now if I had no cares of what others thought of me?" I realized that who I naturally am without anything else added is perfectly okay.
When you let go of the old ways of thinking, follow your bliss, and do what you love, you begin to align with happiness and peace. These are all indicators that you are connected with your true nature. You are then allowing your real self to shine forth in all its glory.

See a typo, an inaccuracy, or something offensive? Please contact us so we can fix it!

Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
What It Means to Just Be Yourself and 3 Ways to Do It

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
"Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be." ~Alan Watts I've heard the statement "just be yourself" so much. It sounds like an amazing thing to do, and I have wished many times that I could just do that.

# data[].attributes.body
This article emphasizes how important it is to know yourself and spend quality time with yourself. How could you truly be yourself if you don't know yourself ? Here are some tips to improve the abillity to be yourself at all times ! This article mainly focuses on being mindful of your emotions and reflecting your past. It is so important to be yourself in this hard world where everything can fall out of place. So go ahead and read it, because I think you need it ;).

Myrddine

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Being yourself involves both knowing and showing who you are. The first step to being yourself is to learn more about yourself and get more in touch with your feelings, beliefs, and needs. The next step is to learn how to express these in both your words and your actions. The final step is to learn how to stay true to yourself without letting other people, society, or even your inner critic bully you into changing.

In this article, you will learn how to know and show your true self to others and how to get and stay connected with the real you.

Sections

Are you being yourself?

According to one researcher, being true to yourself involves three steps: developing self-awareness, living authentically, and guarding against external influence. You can use these questions as a guide to know whether you are being yourself at work, at school, or with others:

1. Do you feel like you truly know and understand yourself?

2. Do most of your actions reflect your true thoughts, feelings, and values?

3. Can you resist the urge to change yourself in order to fit in or be liked by others?

If you answered a strong 'yes' to all three of these questions, then you are probably being true to yourself. If you answered 'no' or 'it depends,' then you probably aren't being 100% real, open and honest with people.

How to be yourself

You need to know yourself in order to show yourself, but showing your true self (by being open, real, and honest) also helps you know yourself. The following steps will help you address both issues, helping you become more self-aware while also encouraging you to act in ways that demonstrate your feelings, beliefs, and values.

Because low self-esteem, anxiety, and shame are common issues that get in the way of being yourself, these steps will also provide tips on how to cope with these in a healthier way.

Traditional therapy - done online

Find a therapist from BetterHelp's network of therapists for your everyday therapy needs.

Take a quiz, get matched, and start getting support via phone or video sessions.

Their plans start at $64 per week. Use the button below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the orange button. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code.
Start BetterHelp's quiz
1. Reflect on your history

Throughout your life, you have been shaped by your experiences. Part of getting to know yourself better means brushing up on your history and exploring the experiences and decisions that have shaped you the most.

You can get started by journaling and reflecting on these questions:

What were some key turning points in my life, and how did they change me?

What were the themes in my happiest memories (i.e., connection, success, etc.)?

In times when I felt like I wasn't true to myself, what traits, values, or beliefs did I betray (i.e., honesty, loyalty, etc.)?

Reflecting on significant events in your life can help you unravel the mystery of who you are, providing clues about the traits and qualities that are core to who you are. This is a great way to get in touch with your core values and beliefs.

2. Spend quality time with yourself

Your relationship with yourself is the single most important relationship in your life. Just like all relationships, you need to invest attention and time into yourself. Make time on a regular basis to spend time alone, and make sure this is quality time that is meaningful and enjoyable.

A recommendation

If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to bond, take our 1-minute quiz.

You get 100% free personalized tips based on your results.

Start the quiz

Here are some ideas about how to spend quality time with yourself:

Start a journaling practice to reflect on your thoughts and feelings

Use creative outlets to express yourself (i.e., music, crafting, DIY projects, etc.)

Find self-care activities that help you release stress (i.e., exercise, meditation, etc.)

Schedule weekly activities that you enjoy and look forward to

3. Decode your emotions

Think of feelings like they are your internal messaging system, always trying to communicate with you. Even difficult emotions like sadness or fear have important messages, but you can miss these when you ignore them or distract yourself from them.

To get the important messages your emotions have for you, try using these steps:

Notice and name what you are feeling

Example: Feeling anxious before work

Identify what the feeling is in response to

Example: A meeting where you may be asked to speak

Consider what the feeling is trying to tell you

Example: That you worry you will say the wrong thing

Identify what you want, need, or care about in this situation

Example: That you want to be liked and respected at work

Research indicates that being in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings is an important part of being authentic. The more you are in touch with your emotions, the less you will need to look outside of yourself for answers about who you are or what you think or feel.

4. Stop listening and talking to your critic

While your inner critic will probably always have an opinion about things, it doesn't mean you always have to ask for it, listen to it, or follow its advice. In fact, people who are kinder and less self-critical report feeling more authentic in their interactions and also report feeling happier.

Spending a lot of time listening (and talking back) to your inner critic can be exhausting and toxic. With your critic judging and analyzing your every word or action, it's much harder to be yourself. Work on giving your critic less of your time, energy, and attention by shifting your focus to your body, breath or by using your 5 senses to become more present.

5. Speak more freely

Another way to be yourself is to speak more freely. Often, your critic causes you to overthink everything you say, especially when you feel nervous or insecure. When you overthink and filter every word, you might find that your mind goes blank or that your conversations feel forced and awkward.

Instead of thinking, editing, and rehearsing everything you say, practice just saying whatever is on your mind. Start with friends, family, and people you feel comfortable with, and slowly start to use this practice at work, at school, and with people you just met. This is a proven way to overcome anxiety and interact in ways that feel more natural.

6. Make up your own mind

Another way to be more of your true self is to make your own decisions. Instead of consulting with other people or polling your friends and family each time you make a purchase or a small decision, avoid seeking outside opinions. Instead, work on becoming more decisive by not asking for the opinions or advice of others.

Making decisions on your own is a great way to begin building more trust with yourself and becoming clearer about what you want and need, instead of relying on others to tell you. Because trusting yourself is an essential step to being true to yourself, making decisions on your own is an important step to being yourself.

7. Disconnect from social media

Being authentic is much harder to do on social media, where many people fall into the trap of presenting a false version of themselves. On social media, people struggling with low self-esteem or authenticity are more likely to fall into this trap. Even though it was designed to connect people, social media can make people feel more isolated and alone.

Being on social media can also lead you to make comparisons between yourself and others in ways that make you feel less than. This only adds more pressure to be better or different than you are and gives your inner critic more talking points. Limiting your social media use can make it easier to express yourself in ways that feel more real and honest.

8. Don't shapeshift to fit in

If you don't know how to be yourself around others, it might be because you aren't really being yourself and instead are trying to be more like the people you are with. People who feel insecure about fitting in sometimes become social shapeshifters, changing their interests, opinions, and behavior to mimic people around them.

Take this quiz and see how you can become more confident

Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour.

Start the quiz.

Pretending to be someone you are not will never lead to relationships that are real and authentic and will also come at the cost of being true to yourself. Spend less effort and energy watching what other people are doing and trying to mimic them. Instead, work on being more open about who you are, honest about what you like, and real about what you feel and believe.

9. Find like-minded people

Finding a group of like-minded people can make it easier to be yourself and can reduce some of the pressure you feel to pretend, act, or change yourself to fit in. People tend to feel more comfortable and relaxed around people they have things in common with and are also more likely to develop friendships with them.

You can find people with similar beliefs and interests by joining a group, meetup, or even volunteering for a cause you believe in. You could also search for like-minded people using friend apps that help to match you with people who have similar interests and hobbies. When you spend more time around people you have a lot in common with, you will automatically find it easier to be yourself.

10. Protect your agenda

When you don't have your own agenda, or when you do but don't protect it, you can easily fall into the agenda other people have for you.

For example, if you spend all of your time helping other people with their assignments, you might not have enough time to do your own work, or your quality of work might suffer. If you feel like people treat you like a doormat, this might be happening in your personal life, too.

Here are some simple ways to protect your agenda:

Don't respond 'yes' automatically when someone asks you for something

Ask to get back to people when they ask you to take something on

Consult your own schedule and see what you already have on your plate

Consider the pros and cons of taking on any new project or task

Prioritize self-care and make regular time for activities you enjoy

11. Face your fear of rejection head-on

Most people want to avoid rejection, but becoming too focused on the risk of rejection can paralyze you. The fear of rejection keeps you focused on what other people want and need from you, making it almost impossible to stay true to yourself. Being willing to accept the possibility of being rejected allows you to speak and act freely, instead of constantly censoring yourself.

You can face your fear of rejection head-on by:

Not scanning people's faces for rejection cues as you speak

Not feeling the need to copy or mimic what other people are saying/doing

Saying what you think or believe, even when you aren't sure others agree with you

Being looser and less uptight around people, even those you don't know well

Letting more of your quirks, sense of humor, or personality show

12. Gut-check your behavior

Another way to make sure you are being yourself is to take time to do a gut check. Think back to recent instances where you felt like you were being really true to yourself, and also times when you weren't. Acting in accordance with your values is a key step when learning how to be the best version of yourself.

What type of social overthinker are you?

Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour.

Start the quiz.

Figure out common themes during times when you felt more or less authentic. This can help you identify your core values and beliefs, which are a central part of your true self.

Here are some examples:

Did you feel guilty after lying to a friend about being sick to get out of plans? If so, honesty or loyalty might be one of your core values.

Did you feel good after standing up for a coworker who was accused of something they didn't do? If so, you might have a strong belief in justice or integrity.

Did you kick yourself after saying yes to a second date with someone who was really self-centered? If so, it might be because you want to trust yourself more or because humility is one of your values.

13. Detox from external validation

External validation is like a drug that many people rely on for self-worth, but like any drug, the 'high' is only temporary. Also, external validation can't provide you with a lasting, stable sense of self-worth. Instead, it traps you into a cycle of needing to look outside of yourself and not knowing how to be ok without it.

When you don't feel good about yourself, try going inside of yourself instead of turning to other people or social media for validation. Try to find a still, quiet, calm place underneath the swirling chaos of your emotions- a place where you feel 'ok'. Using mindfulness and self-compassion exercises can help you learn how to find confidence without external validation.

14. Learn to validate yourself

True self-worth comes from inside of you and is there even when no one likes your posts, replies to your texts, or hires you for the job you applied for. The only lasting form of self-worth comes from self-compassion, which is the practice of being kind and gentle to yourself. Try the tips below to tap into self-compassion and access your inner source of self-worth.

Be kind to your inner critic: Imagine yourself approaching your critic during times when it's toxic and encouraging it to 'take the day off'. This is a kind, gentle way to disengage from your critic instead of becoming angry when it shows up.

Use mindfulness: You can practice mindfulness by focusing on your breath, your 5 senses, or just trying to put your full attention to what you're doing. Mindfulness is proven to boost self-compassion, making it easier to disengage from your critic.

Write yourself a letter: Another way to boost self-compassion is to write yourself a letter, using the voice you would use with a friend or loved one. Reading it aloud to yourself after can also be a powerful way to boost self-compassion.

Choose to focus on and celebrate your strengths. Create a list of your accomplishments and review it regularly.

15. Stop comparing yourself

One of the sneaky ways your inner critic can force your true self into hiding is through comparisons. Comparing yourself can cause you to feel like you are not good enough. Shame is the feeling of not being good enough and is one of the fastest ways to send your true self into hiding.

Here are some of the toxic comparisons that may be disconnecting you from yourself:

Comparing your body, weight, or appearance (e.g., to celebrities, pictures of your friends on Instagram)

Where you thought you'd be in life at this point versus where you actually are (e.g., whether you're married, have kids, etc.)

Comparing your current self to your past self (e.g., how you've aged or changes in your health)

Why is it hard to be yourself?

Most of the time, anxiety, low self-esteem, or shame get in the way of being yourself.You might have noticed that it's harder to be yourself around people you don't know as well. This is because anxiety, insecurities, and a fear of being rejected are higher when you first meet someone. This can lead you to adopt certain defenses (what psychologists call 'safety behaviors') to lessen this risk.

Safety behaviors are ways you might change your behavior to avoid calling attention to yourself or to get people to like you or think you're cool. Unfortunately, instead of being shields that protect you from being hurt, these defenses can become walls that keep people out and prevent them from seeing the real you.

Some common safety behaviors that can make you feel untrue to yourself include:

Rehearsing or overthinking everything you say

Staying quiet or sitting in the back of the room

Using your phone to avoid social interactions

Not talking about yourself or opening up

Being silent when you disagree or have a different opinion

Being a people pleaser to get people to like you

Relying on a persona to seem liked, cool or funny

Avoiding saying or doing anything that would bring attention to you

When you overuse these safety behaviors, they can make you feel untrue to yourself. You can make an effort to stop using these behaviors by speaking more freely and not censoring or editing everything you say. You can also make an effort to speak up more, even when you don't know people very well, instead of staying quiet or trying not to stand out.

Final thoughts

You might have thought that being yourself was all about your words and actions, but a lot of the work is internal. This is because you can only show who you are when you know who you are. Being more in touch with your inner thoughts, feelings, and beliefs is the only way to be more authentic with others. When you know who you are, the next step is to let these parts of you show in your words and actions and resist the urge to hide, put on a mask, or change yourself to fit in.

Consider online therapy

Online therapy allows you to speak to a licensed therapist in the comfort of your home.

BetterHelp offers support via phone or video at $64 per week.

Use the link below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code.
Click here to learn more
Common questions about how to be yourself

How do you just be yourself?

The easiest way to be yourself is to stop trying too hard to be a different person. Even laughing at jokes you don't find funny or trying to be more outgoing can be small betrayals to yourself. Over time, these can cause you to lose touch with who you truly are.

How do I reveal my true self?

The first step to revealing your true self is to work on knowing yourself better and getting in touch with your own feelings, beliefs, and values. The next step is to let go of old safety behaviors you've used to fit in.

What does it really mean to be yourself?

Being yourself means knowing and showing your true thoughts and feelings and also staying true to your core values and beliefs. When your behavior is consistent with your inner feelings and beliefs, you will feel more authentic.

How do I get back to being myself?

If you feel lost and want to get back to being yourself, the best way to begin is to get in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings. Paying more attention to how you feel, your gut reactions, and private thoughts is a great way to start this process.

What if I don't like my true self?

It is easier to be yourself when you can love yourself and accept yourself, including all of your flaws and shortcomings. You can start this process by being less hard on yourself and by trying to talk to yourself in a kinder way.

Show references +

Free training: Be confident around anyone

Join our free training and learn:

1. How to be more confident around anyone.

2. How to stop feeling self-conscious using the "OFC-method".

3. Why you don't need out-of-your-comfort-zone exercises to be confident.

4. Why some are so confident despite not having the looks, money, or a "cool job".

Start my free training

Hailey Shafir is a licensed mental health counselor, licensed addiction specialist, and clinical supervisor working out of Raleigh, NC. She has a Masters in Counseling from NC State University, and has extensive professional experience in counseling, program development, and clinical supervision. Read more.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How To Be Yourself (15 Practical Tips) | SocialSelf

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Being yourself involves both knowing and showing who you are. The first step to being yourself is to learn more about yourself and get more in touch with your feelings, beliefs, and needs. The next step is to learn how to express these in both your words and your actions.

# data[].attributes.body
They explain how to be yourself in steps:
first step: How to be yourself and how do you find yourself?
Second step: Don't be surprised if some of your values seem to conflict.
third step: Avoid the past and not letting yourself go.
step four: never stop looking for your own strengths
step five: RELAX! Stop worring about what could happen if i do this or that

TIPS!

- BE HONEST AND OPEN: what have you got to hide? We're all imperfect, growing, learning human beings.

- DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS: If you're always striving to be someone you're not already, you'll never be a happy person.

- TREAT YOURSELF AS YOU'D TREAT YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND: You value your friends and those close to you; well, who is closer to you than you are? Give yourself the same kind, thoughtful, and respectful treatment that you give to other people you care about.

Kaat Vanhaecke

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
FEATURED ARTICLE

This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 10 references. wikiHow's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article meets our high standards.

In other languages:

Français: être soi même, Italiano: Essere Te Stesso, Español: ser tú mismo, Português: Ser Você Mesmo(a), Nederlands: Jezelf zijn, Deutsch: Sei Du selbst, Русский: быть самим собой, 中文: , Čeština: Jak být sám sebou, Bahasa Indonesia: Menjadi Diri Sendiri, العربية: التصرّف على طبيعتك, ไทย: เป็นตัวของตัวเอง, हिन्दी: आप जो हैं वही बने रहें, Tiếng Việt: Là Chính mình, 한국어: , 日本語: , Türkçe: Nasıl Kendin Olunur

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,242,267 times.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
"Be yourself" is quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of individualist-based advice. Be yourself. It's such a vague adage. What does it really mean, to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds? With the...

# data[].attributes.headline
The Power of Being YourselfAuthenticity and being who you are at your core can help you create a business climate in your life, and work that allows for real fulfillment and joy.

# data[].attributes.subject
The Power of Being YourselfAuthenticity and being who you are at your core can help you create a business climate in your life, and work that allows for real fulfillment and joy.

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.inc.com/rhett-power/the-power-of-being-yourself.html

this article is about being yourself, it helps you be who you are. It gives you advice and it teaches you more about being yourself. It helps you to set goals in your life. It gives you motivation and it shows you that no one is perfect, so you have to be yourself.

Ugo

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Authenticity and being who you are at your core can help you create a business climate in your life, and work that allows for real fulfillment and joy.

# data[].attributes.headline
"Be yourself" is quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of individualist-based advice. Be yourself. It's such a vague adage. What does it really mean, to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds? With the steps below, it can be.

# data[].attributes.subject
"Be yourself" is quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of individualist-based advice. Be yourself. It's such a vague adage. What does it really mean, to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds? With the steps below, it can be.

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
FEATURED ARTICLE

This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 10 references. wikiHow's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article meets our high standards.

In other languages:

Français: être soi même, Italiano: Essere Te Stesso, Español: ser tú mismo, Português: Ser Você Mesmo(a), Nederlands: Jezelf zijn, Deutsch: Sei Du selbst, Русский: быть самим собой, 中文: , Čeština: Jak být sám sebou, Bahasa Indonesia: Menjadi Diri Sendiri, العربية: التصرّف على طبيعتك, ไทย: เป็นตัวของตัวเอง, हिन्दी: आप जो हैं वही बने रहें, Tiếng Việt: Là Chính mình, 한국어: , 日本語: , Türkçe: Nasıl Kendin Olunur

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,242,267 times.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
"Be yourself" is quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of individualist-based advice. Be yourself. It's such a vague adage. What does it really mean, to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds? With the...

# data[].attributes.body
This article is about 10 ways to be happy with yourself.
And learn about yourself.
And that you don't have to care about the way you look.
Or the way you act.
To just be yourself and be confident.

Jutte

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
10 Ways To Always Be Yourself And Live Happily - LifeHack

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
As you were probably told when you were in elementary school, “Just be yourself.” You can be a much happier person once you figure out who you truly are and you learn how to be yourself.

# data[].attributes.body
This article talks about the importance of being yourself. It talks about how we want to fit in and change who we are to do that.
And how being yourself is good for social life. And why is it difficult to be ourselves.

1. Be confident
2. Don't care about what others think.
3. Don't try to fit in with people that make you change the way you are.

Brecht

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It can be difficult to be yourself; we fear we won’t be accepted for who we are. Emma Azzopardi offers ways you can embrace authenticity