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There's no such thing as "getting rid of fear" just like there's no such thing "getting rid of having feelings" (learn more about the value of fully feeling your feelings HERE). You are human, therefore you have fear.

You are stuck with fear, but it doesn't have to own you. In fact, fear can be a wonderful motivator and it can help us to feel more alive...but fear is also one of those difficult emotions to sit with.

As humans, it's in our nature to avoid difficult feelings - fear being at the top of the list.

We create distractions from fear. We run interference about unimportant things, so we don't have to come in contact with fear. We look the other way, hoping fear won't be waiting for us when we turn our head back again.

The interesting thing about fear, like many feelings, is that it intensifies the more you fight against it.
What you resist, persists.
In the MindBodyWise Living Room last week, a question came up about how to handle fear that generated a lot of rich conversation, which was the impetus for writing this post.

Below are 3 different exercises you can try to begin to flow with your fear - instead of against it.

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Fear-Flow Body Exercise:
Try this body-based exercise to connect with the heart of your fear and although this exercise is not about removing or excising the fear, often going into your fear through the body, does result in a lessening of the fear.

1. Where's my body holding this fear today?
It may sound like a weird question and it may not be easy to identify at first, but stay with me here.

Fear usually shows up in your body as tension, holding, clenching, fluttering, faster heartbeat, changes from your normal breathing or excess movement. Your fear may show up differently and that's perfectly normal too.

While considering your fear in your mind, close your eyes and slowly scan your body from feet to head.

What do you notice and where do you notice it?

2. What is this fear like in my body?
If you located a spot or two that's holding your fear, see if you can bring all your awareness to it.

Get curious about it. Try not to judge it as bad / good / right / wrong / weird / normal. Instead, notice it's qualities as if you were going to explain it to someone else. For example: It's interesting that when I inhale, I notice that spot tightening up and when I exhale it loosens a little bit - then my mind keeps moving away from my body and into the story of my fear.

3. What's happening now?
This may seem counter-intuitive, but now it's time to play with moving toward the fear in your body more intensely. I use the word "play" intentionally here, as this can be a less serious and more exploratory experience if you think of it as an experiment.

Some ways to play include: exaggerating that part of your body with a movement or continuous movement that has you get more deeply in contact with the sensations there. Or consciously send bigger, deeper breaths to that area of your body.

As your moving or breathing, keep your curiosity hat on (non-judgment hat) and ask yourself "what's happening now?" every 30 seconds to a minute. Answer that question out loud or in your mind.

"Be with" the sensations and feelings that emerge as a gentle observer. Do your best to allow whatever you notice to be there - without any attempt to try to change the experience of what is.
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Fear-Flow Mind Exercise:
Ask yourself: "What am I most afraid about X (the fearful thing)?" Answer the question. With each answer, take a breath, notice what's happening in your body. Then ask yourself: "and then what?" Keep asking "and then what" with breaths and body awareness in between each. Do this until you get to what's at the core of your fear. You may find, it's not what you thought it was!
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Fear-Flow Stillness Exercise:
You don't have to be a meditator to sit still and present for a few minutes. I know, it's extremely challenging to sit with fear and distraction, which is the exact reason to practice sitting still with it.

Whatever comes up, even if it's more fear and distraction, notice it, be with it, and keep bringing your attention back to your breath ("this is my inhale, this is my exhale").

Try this for 5 minutes with no goal in mind, except completing 5 minutes of being with yourself. It's powerful to see that the more you sit with it, the more the intensity of the fear tends to dissipate.

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It takes courage to flow with your fear...! Every attempt you make to do so needs to be acknowledged and honored.

P.S. If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy this post on how to become more courageous.

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3 Exercises for Flowing with your Fear | MindBodyWise

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There's no such thing as getting rid of fear just like there's no such thing getting rid of having feelings. Below are 3 different exercises you can try to begin to flow with your fear -- instead of against it.

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Christina Furnival is the author of the "Capable Kiddos" series, a collection of social-emotional children's books that support children to overcome challenges, develop life skills, and thrive. Christina's books, informed by both her personal experience as a parent as well as her 10+ years of experience in the mental health field as a licensed psychotherapist (LPCC), give children the language and knowledge to grow in social-emotional learning. And her books don't just focus on the child, they provide parents, teachers, and therapists tools to best help them support their children.

Passionate about emotional wellbeing, Christina empowers parents and children in all her work. It is her goal to support and equip parents and children to understand themselves better, navigate challenges confidently, and live their best life! In addition to being an author, she is a therapist, speaker, and writer for her blog, Real Life Mama, found at ChristinaFurnival.com.

Based in San Diego with her Scottish husband, and three wonderful and wild children, Christina adores time with her family at the beach, walking trails, and having outrageous dance parties in the kitchen.

Christina loves connecting with her readers and welcomes you to reach out to her through her website, email, or social media accounts. If her books touch home for you, please let her know as well as leave a review here on Amazon! Thank you!

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Fear Not!: How to Face Your Fear and Anxiety Head-On

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Fear Not!: How to Face Your Fear and Anxiety Head-On [Christina Furnival, Katie Dwyer] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Fear Not!: How to Face Your Fear and Anxiety Head-On

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Best-selling author Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D., founded The Center * A Plce of HOPE as a treatment facility based on the foundation of whole person care. Today it is recognized as a Top 10 Facility For the Treatment of Depression. For over 30 years, Dr. Jantz and his award-winning staff have addressed the emotional, relational, physical and spiritual aspects of the healing process for men, women and adolescents, particularly for:

-Alcohol and Drug Addiction

-Anger Management

-Anxiety and Stress

-Attention Deficit Disorder

-Co-Dependency

-Depression

-Divorce and Separation

-Eating Disorders

-Emotional Abuse

-Forgiveness

-Gambling Addiction

-Grief and Loss

-Guilt

-Internet Addiction

-Marriage and Family

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-Nutrition

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-Pornography Addiction

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Dr. Jantz is a nationally certified eating disorder specialist, a state-certified chemical dependency counselor and a licensed mental health counselor. From TV to radio, Dr. Jantz has shared his expertise in more than 2,000 interviews, including CNN, Fox News, The Dr. Phil Show and the 700 Club.

Married for over 30 years to his wife, LaFon, Dr. Jantz is the proud father of two sons, Gregg and Benjamin.

Based on his extensive one-on-one counseling experience, Dr. Jantz has written 38 self-help books to reach as many people as possible with his message of hope. His most recent book is HEALING THE SCARS OF ADDICTION, the latest in his continuing effort to help people change their lives for good!

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Overcoming Anxiety, Worry, and Fear: Practical Ways to Find Peace

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Overcoming Anxiety, Worry, and Fear: Practical Ways to Find Peace - Kindle edition by Jantz Ph.D., Gregory L., Ann McMurray, McMurray, Ann. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

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An important step in managing anxiety involves facing feared situations, places or objects. It is normal to want to avoid the things you fear. However, avoidance prevents you from learning that the things you fear are not as dangerous as you think.
What is Exposure?
The process of facing fears is called exposure. Exposure involves gradually and repeatedly going into feared situations until you feel less anxious. Exposure is not dangerous and will not make the fear worse. And after a while, your anxiety will naturally lessen.

How is exposure helpful?
Starting with situations that are less scary, you work your way up to facing things that cause you a great deal of anxiety. Over time, you build up confidence in those situations and may even come to enjoy them. This process often happens naturally for example, when people learn to ride a bike, skate, or drive a car. Exposure is one of the most effective ways of overcoming fears. However, it takes some planning and patience.
How do you practice exposure? Step 1. Make a list
Make a list of situations, places or things that you fear.

Helpful tips:

Include lots of situations, some that are easy to face and some that are hard

Group similar fears together

Remember you are not alone, here is a list of common fears:

Being around other people

Trying new things

Talking to unfamiliar people

Public speaking

Animals

Insects

Needles

Heights

Germs

Driving

Crowded places

Step 2. Build a fear ladder
Rank your list from the least scary to the scariest. You can do this by rating how much fear you have for each situation on the list, from "0" (No fear) to "10" (Extreme fear). Once you have rate each situation, use the Fear Ladder form to make a final list. You can create different fear ladders with lots of different steps for each of your goals. See examples of Fear Ladders for some ideas on how to build your own.
Step 3. Facing fears (exposure)
Now that you have your fear ladders, pick one to start working on. On that fear ladder, start with the least scary situation and repeatedly engage in that activity until you start to feel less anxious doing it.

Helpful tips:

Expect to feel anxious

Plan your exposure exercise in advance. Identify what you are going to do and when you are going to do it

Spend as much time as you can on one activity - anxiety takes a lot of energy and at some point it will "run out of gas" and you'll realize you're safe. This can take a long time (up to 30 minutes or more). See the Facing Fears form, which can help you though this.

Once you achieve an activity with little or no anxiety, celebrate your victory and move on to the next thing on your list.

Step 4. Practice
It is important to practice on a regular basis. Some steps can be practiced daily, while others can only be done once in a while. However, the more often you practice the faster the fear will fade. Done forget to maintain the gains that you have made. Even if you have become comfortable doing something, it's important to keep exposing yourself to it form time to time. And finally, re-rate your fear ladder every once in a while.
Step 5. Reward brave behavior
It's not easy facing fears. Reward yourself when you do and celebrate your victories! It may be helpful to use specific rewards as a motivation to achieve a goal. For example, plan to purchase something for yourself (clothes, book, new tech toy) or engage in a fun activity (go out with friends, go out for dinner)
This material was modified from and with the permission of AnxietyBC.

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Facing Your Fears: Exposure | Walk Along

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An important step in managing anxiety involves facing feared situations, places or objects. It is normal to want to avoid the things you fear. However, avoidance prevents you from learning that the things you fear are not as dangerous as you think. What is Exposure? The process of facing fears is called exposure.

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How does fear impact your health? - New Day NW

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Fear: What It Is, How It Affects Health, and How to Face the Ones You Have

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Fear is a healthy and adaptive emotion, according to psychologists. Here's their definition, how it affects the body, and how to better cope with it.

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Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.

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the big leap: conquer your hidden fear and take life to the next level

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self-help / motivational & inspirational

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self help; personal; self; help; esteem; love; confidence; improvement; growth; motivation; inspiration; happiness; life; inspirational; motivational; books on happiness; self-esteem; stress; 2009; 2010; 2011; big; leap; gay; hendricks; phd; hendrick; tip; true; potential; conquer; fear; conquering; conscious; living; finding; joy; real; world; year; consciously; hidden; blessing; overcoming; obstacle; nonfiction; development; woman; men; positive; thinking; gratitude; habit; gift; career; leadership; mindset; business; money; economy; economics; millennials; 5; art; food; go; note; find; communication; relationship; vision; meaning; purpose; gorilla; philosopher's

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self-help / motivational & inspirational

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The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level

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The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level [Hendricks, Gay] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level

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Celebrating thirty years as a classic in its field and recommended by therapists worldwide, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook is an unparalleled, essential resource for people struggling with anxiety and phobias.

Living with anxiety, panic disorders, or phobias can make you feel like you aren't in control of your life. Tackle the fears that hold you back with this go-to guide. Packed with the most effective skills for assessing and treating anxiety, this evidence-based workbook contains the latest clinical research. You'll find an arsenal of tools for quieting worry, ending negative self-talk, and taking charge of your anxious thoughts, including:

Relaxation and breathing techniques

New research on exposure therapy for phobias

Lifestyle, exercise, mindfulness and nutrition tips

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The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook: Revised and Updated Seventh Edition

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Amazon.com: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook: Revised and Updated Seventh Edition (Audible Audio Edition): Edmund J. Bourne PhD, Peter Lerman, Tantor Audio: Audible Books & Originals

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Whatever it is that scares you, here are 10 ways to help you cope with your day-to-day fears and anxieties.

These tips are for people who are coping with everyday fears. If you have been diagnosed with an anxiety-related condition, see our page on generalised anxiety disorder.

1. Take time out

It's impossible to think clearly when you're flooded with fear or anxiety. The first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down.

Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block, making a cup of tea or having a bath.

2. Breathe through panic

If you start to get a faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best thing is not to fight it.

Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract yourself. Place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathe slowly and deeply.

The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the fear of fear away.

Try this breathing technique for stress

3. Face your fears

Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it should start to fade. If you panic one day getting into a lift, for example, it's best to get back into a lift the next day.

4. Imagine the worst

Try imagining the worst thing that can happen - perhaps it's panicking and having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a heart attack. It's just not possible. The fear will run away the more you chase it.

5. Look at the evidence

It sometimes helps to challenge fearful thoughts. For example, if you're scared of getting trapped in a lift and suffocating, ask yourself if you have ever heard of this happening to someone. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who had a similar fear.

6. Don't try to be perfect

Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it's important to remember that life is messy.

7. Visualise a happy place

Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm. It could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up in bed with the cat next to you, or a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.

8. Talk about it

Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can't talk to a partner, friend or family member, call a helpline such as Breathing Space on 0800 83 85 87 or Samaritans on 116 123.

You could also try a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach over the telephone, with a service such as NHS L iving L ife . If you would like to find out more about this appointment-based service, you can visit the Living Life websiteor phone 0800 328 9655 (Mon to Fri, 1pm to 9pm). ​

If your fears aren't going away, you can ask your GP for help. GPs can refer people for counselling, psychotherapy or help through an online mental health service, such as Living Life to the Full.

9. Go back to basics

Lots of people turn to alcohol or drugs to self-treat anxiety, but this will only make matters worse. Simple, everyday things like a good night's sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for anxiety.

10. Reward yourself

Finally, give yourself a treat. When you've made that call you've been dreading, for example, reinforce your success by treating yourself to a massage, a country walk, a meal out, a book, a DVD, or whatever little gift makes you happy.

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Whatever it is that scares you, here are 10 ways to help you cope with your day-to-day fears and anxieties. These tips are for people who are coping with everyday fears. If you have been diagnosed with an anxiety-related condition, see our page on generalised anxiety disorder.

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When our children become paralyzed with fear, it's hard to know how to help them!

A father I know remembers seeing his son in this state during a family vacation at Lake George at the base of the Adirondack Mountains. His son, eight years old at the time, wanted to jump into the water from a large overhanging rock. Son and father climbed up together, and the father (though nervous) jumped in.

His son got stuck at the top, trembling but frozen in place. When the father asked him if he wanted to jump, the boy said, "No," but he also didn't want to climb down. The father realized that his son was both too afraid to jump and too afraid to turn back.

When children are afraid, they can be inflexible, stubborn, aggressive, or timid. You might remember being in a similar state, yourself-paralyzed, tongue-tied, short of breath, and suddenly unable to think clearly. But when we see our children in this same state, we often panic or get frustrated instead of giving them the time and patience they need. Or we see their discomfort and let them back away from the thing that scares them. But when they'd rather stay home than go to the dance class (and you know they love to dance), or stay at the sidelines at the swimming pool, they miss out on some important experiences in life. And it doesn't help their fears subside.

So how can we help our children with small fears or big waves of anxiety? Here are a few suggestions to get started:
Provide Patience, Understanding, and a Nudge
One of the most important things we can offer our children when their fears flare is understanding and patience, but with a little push. While we don't want to respond to their fears or upsets with frustration or impatience, we also don't want them sitting on the sidelines. With a loving nudge, children can attempt the things that scare them without becoming overwhelmed.

One mother of a six-year-old girl told me that her daughter hated school assemblies, which were held in the auditorium, first thing in the morning, on the last Friday of the month. The daughter felt scared being dropped off in the crowded and noisy auditorium.

As they walked toward the auditorium on assembly days, the girl would cry and resist going in. Her mother would kneel next to her and say, "I'm right here. Everything will be OK." Her daughter would cry and tremble.

When her daughter's crying let up, the mother would say, "It's time to go in," and her daughter would start to cry again. And again, the mother would stop and listen. Each time the tears began to subside, the mother would gently suggest they go in. Often just the suggestion would bring tears again.

Lawrence Cohen, author of The Opposite of Worry, calls this the "face and feel zone." Helping a child through this scary place is a careful dance of moving forward, letting your child feel the fear, and supporting them through it. There's an art to taking that next step at just the right time, without pushing too hard or too fast, while you listen warmly and confidently to their complaints.

For some children (and parents), this slow approach takes time and patience, as it did for my friend and her daughter. Month after month, the daughter would cry as they approached the auditorium. Some mornings, the daughter was still crying as the mother left for work. The mother's patience wore thin; she started to think it would never end. But she kept making the time to comfort and reassure her daughter on those days.

Finally, her long effort paid off. One assembly day in the spring, as the two of them were driving to school, the daughter said, "I know the assembly is today, Mommy, and I don't mind if you go." The daughter gave her mother a big hug and waved goodbye without tears.
Transform Fears Through Play
Some children need to talk about a scary thing over and again, and this can be a good way to work through it. But other children prefer not to mention their trauma again, or perhaps were too young to remember the details.

When your child can't or won't retell a scary event, replaying it can be a helpful option. Play is one of the most powerful ways to help children with their fears. Fears often leave children feeling small and uncertain, and playful games help rebuild confidence and trust.

When my son was afraid of our new, playful cat, I found a large mouse puppet toy, and I played a game where the mouse was afraid of the cat. The mouse would tiptoe through the room where the cat was sleeping and say to my son in a funny voice, " Do not make a sound. I don't want to wake the cat!" My son, with a big smile, would of course make a loud sound. The mouse puppet would fly off my hand and hit the ceiling screaming, and my son would fall on the floor laughing. After we played this game over and over again, my son became much more comfortable with the cat.

Role reversal is another great way to address light fears, especially with younger children. You pretend to be the scared one, and let your child be the confident one in charge. One fun way to do this is to boast loudly that nothing can scare you. Then, when your little one pushes you slightly, or jumps out at you from behind the closet door, you shriek with fear or hide behind the nearest stuffy.

Roughhousing is also another wonderful way to help children release tension and fears. When a child can be the one who gets to knock you over in a pillow fight or pushes you off of the bed while you're wrestling, she can find her own power, and her confidence can soar.
Work on Your Own Worries
Children's fears can be hard on parents. Whether they're complaining of anxiety, stopped in their tracks, or acting out in aggression, we worry about the right thing to do and say.

Often, fearful or anxious children have parents who worry a lot. I know: I'm one of them! But consider what our worry tells our kids: that the world is not a safe place, or that we don't have confidence and trust in them. Children can absorb these messages and feel less confident in themselves. For those of us who tend to worry, it can help to find a good listener talk to about our own fears.
Your Fear Toolkit: Laughing, Crying, and Facing Fears
Whatever your child fears, patience and understanding can help him feel more self-assured and less ashamed, while a gentle push and active play can help him get out of that stuck, paralyzed place. And we as parents need to work on our own fears and find ways to soothe ourselves. Parents and children alike can benefit from Lawrence Cohen's advice: "Do things every day that are scary, fun, and safe!"

Are you looking for some more ideas on how to end aggressive behavior?
Get your free video tips now.

~Julie Johnson is a Certified Parenting by Connection Instructor. You can visit her Parent-Child Connection website and find her on Facebook for updates on her current offerings.

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Your Fear Toolkit: How to Help your Child with Fear and Anxiety

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When our children become paralyzed with fear, it's hard to know how to help them! A father I know remembers seeing his son in this state during a family vacation at Lake George at the base of the Adirondack Mountains. His son, eight years old at the time, wanted to jump into the water from a large overhanging rock.

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What fear can teach us | Karen Thompson Walker

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Imagine you're a shipwrecked sailor adrift in the enormous Pacific. You can choose one of three directions and save yourself and your shipmates -- but each choice comes with a fearful consequence too. How do you choose?

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Almost everyone has a fear of something, and that's a good thing. Fear keeps us safe. But what about fears that actually stop us from enjoying life and moving ahead? As a parent, it can be difficult to discern if fear is protecting your child or holding him or her back.

What is Fear?

Fear is a normal human reaction. In fact, it's an important survival instinct that can protect us from danger and prepare us to deal with it. Even babies are equipped with the instincts necessary to sense and respond to danger. Fear is an acute mental and physical reaction brought on suddenly by a dangerous event or unknown experience. The body gears up for flight or fight mode to protect us from what is happening, and the fear goes away when it's over.
Read: How to Handle Common Childhood Fears
What is Anxiety?

While it is normal, even helpful to experience fear in dangerous situations, the distinction between fear and phobia usually involves a high level anxiety. Meaning, your child begins to anticipate, even imagine or greatly exaggerate a threat, without it actually happening. Again, many of us experience a natural level of anxiety from time to time. A healthy dose of anxiety can motivate us to do better or prepare our minds and bodies for a stressful encounter. However, too much anxiety can actually have the opposite effect. The panic can become paralyzing and prevent your child from doing well.
Read: How Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Work for Anxiety?
Fear vs. Phobia

A fear becomes a phobia when the anticipation, or anxiety, as well as the mental and physical response is so great that is it debilitating and interferes with everyday life. While phobias vary in their severity among children, the premise is the same: an intense and unreasonable fear triggered by the presence or anticipation of a specific situation, object or activity.

To a parent, your child's level of fear will likely appear disproportionate to the proposed danger or harm. In fact, many individuals suffering from a phobia actually realize that the fear is irrational, but think they are powerless to control it. The physical and psychological stress is so intense that your child will do whatever they can to avoid contact with the object of his or her fear, and will often spend time worrying about potential encounters.

Children suffering from phobias quickly learn that avoidance can reduce their anxiety. The difficulty is that these avoidance behaviors must keep increasing and happening even sooner to provide the same relief. With a phobia, the avoidance and worry about potential encounters tends to grow bigger and interfere more with life over time.
Read: How to Help your Child Face Their Fear
When to Seek Help for Your Child's Phobias

The phobias that require treatment are ones that interfere with life either frequently or dramatically. For example, a fear of spiders probably won't keep your child from a normal life, but phobias that interfere with medical treatment, going to school or naturally occurring events, such as storms, cannot be avoided.

Like other anxiety disorders, treatment consists of thinking differently, facing the fear gradually and stopping any behavior that is reinforcing the fear. For a natural way to treat your child's fear, anxiety and phobias, try our 10 Day Treatment Program. If you're looking for a natural anxiety treatment for kids, our award-winning audio programs are developed by doctors and come with a money back guarantee.

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When Does Fear Become a Phobia? | Natural Anxiety Treatment for Kids

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Almost everyone has a fear of something, and that's a good thing. Fear keeps us safe. But what about fears that actually stop us from enjoying life and moving ahead? As a parent, it can be difficult to discern if fear is protecting your child or holding him or her back.

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/fear

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Me and My Fear | A Wonderful Story about Independence

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Back to top

Take a Closer Look

It's hard to know how to handle anxious children when particular fears hold them back from participating in ordinary activities. Kids may be afraid of sleeping alone in the dark, of riding the school bus, of walking past a house with a barking dog in the yard - the possibilities are endless. Parents naturally want to reduce their children's distress by, in these examples, sharing the parental bed at night, driving them to school, or crossing the street to avoid the particular house. Accommodations such as these seem to bring relief for the child (and often for the parent), but it's a short-term benefit with a significant long-term risk. According to latest research: parental accommodations often maintain and perpetuate the original fear. Parental accommodations deprive kids of discovering that they have the ability to cope with and surmount their fear with the right practice and support. In Facing Fears, mom relies on four essential elements that anxiety-laden children need to experience:

Accept The Fear

Mom doesn't judge her daughter's fear as good, bad, right, or wrong. She uses empathic listening so the child feels seen and heard in her fear (see Trusting Emotions). Dismissing or belittling a child's fear can give rise to shame, which then might block the child's ability to take in a parent's message about learning to face and cope with the fear.

Promote Practice

Facing fears head-on is the best way to learn to cope with uncomfortable or frightening situations. (See Help for Anxiety: Facing Your Fears Will Heal Your Brain.) Some childhood fears are to be expected, depending on a child's age and stage of development. Kids may not need more than a parent's comfort and reassurance - without an accommodation - to face those "ordinary" fears. In the Facing Fears video, mom resists bringing her daughter into the parental bed, knowing it would be an unhelpful accommodation to do so. She wisely recognizes that her daughter is at an age where sleeping in her own bed is a reasonable expectation, and so an accommodation might end up creating a bigger problem than it would solve. Fears that begin to interfere with customary activities in the child and family's life may need more parent support and sometimes professional assistance. (See The Age by Age Guide to Kid Fears for more information on fears associated with different developmental stages.)

Convey Confidence

Let your child hear you express confidence in their ability to succeed, with practice, at facing and coping with the fear.

Expect Success

Embrace the expectation that a positive outcome is not beyond reach. If a child's fear has not become severely entrenched, the application of these principles over time may prove sufficient to prevent a transient situation from becoming more enduring. Once a child's fear has become entrenched, the help of a counselor familiar with the "Avoid Accommodations" approach may be needed to assist parents with this often-tricky challenge (see Accommodating Anxiety). Either way, an expectation of success can shape a child's own sense of hopefulness about effective coping.
Watch the video without narration

Talking to Kids You Love is written and created by Aaron Cooper, Ph.D., in collaboration with Marina Eovaldi, Ph.D., and Benjamin Rosen, Ph.D. The project is made possible by a generous grant from The Golub Family Foundation.

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Back to top It's hard to know how to handle anxious children when particular fears hold them back from participating in ordinary activities. Kids may be afraid of sleeping alone in the dark, of riding the school bus, of walking past a house with a barking dog in the yard - the possibilities are endless.

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Meet Sticky Icky Vicky, a girl who wants to get over her fear—once and for all

In Sticky Icky Vicky: Courage over Fear, the first book in the Sticky Icky Vicky™ series, authors Alysia and Michael Ssentamu introduce readers to Vicky, a fun-loving girl who doesn’t mind getting a little sticky and icky. She loves rolling down hills and playing in mud—but when it comes to water, Sticky Icky Vicky’s fear prevents her from joining in the fun. Then Vicky gets an invitation for a waterpark party, and she decides that she really wants to go—even if it means ignoring the Negative Ned voice in her head and getting over her fear.

With vibrant illustrations and catchy rhymes, Sticky Icky Vicky: Courage over Fear offers children an inspirational/loveable heroine who learns some valuable life lessons, such as:

Courage

Positive thinking

Goal-setting

Aimed primarily at readers aged six to ten, Sticky Icky Vicky: Courage over Fear is a reading experience that leaves kids believing that they, like Vicky, can get past any obstacle in their way.
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"An encouraging tale for young readers with their own fears to face." - Kirkus reviews (starred review)
Sticky Icky Vicky: Courage over Fear is a recipient of the prestigious Mom’s Choice Award on 30th August, 2021. The Mom’s Choice Awards® (MCA) evaluates products and services created for parents and educators and is globally recognized for establishing the benchmark of excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. Using a rigorous evaluation process, entries are scored on a number of elements including production quality, design, educational value, entertainment value, originality, appeal and cost. Around the world, parents, educators, retailers and members of the media trust the MCA Honoring Excellence seal when selecting quality products and services for families and children.

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Sticky Icky Vicky: Courage over Fear (Mom’s Choice Award® Gold Medal Recipient)

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Sticky Icky Vicky: Courage over Fear (Mom’s Choice Award® Gold Medal Recipient) [Ssentamu, Alysia, Ssentamu, Michael, Alshalabi, Noor] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Sticky Icky Vicky: Courage over Fear (Mom’s Choice Award® Gold Medal Recipient)

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A delightfully fun and rhythmic story about overcoming our fears and learning to try something new.

Ditter Von Dapp is a quirky rabbit who is painfully afraid of the light. Having confined himself to a cozily dark cave to avoid his biggest fear, he is one day forced to light a candle in order to find a lost left shoe. Despite being afraid that the light "might drive me crazy or turn me to goo," Von Dapp slowly discovers just how wonderful light can be. In his newly illuminated world, he finds that a wise mouse had stolen his shoe to teach him a valuable lesson.

With playful rhymes and incredibly rich illustrations, children and parents will delight in reading Ditter Von Dapp's journey. His realization that the light isn't something to be afraid of will help children learn to face their own fears--they just might open themselves up to a new world they never would have imagined and find a new friend in the process!

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Afraid of the Light: A Story about Facing Your Fears

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Afraid of the Light: A Story about Facing Your Fears [Strasser, Albert, Sorrentino, Flavia] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Afraid of the Light: A Story about Facing Your Fears

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Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.

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Dawn Huebner, PhD, is a psychologist, parent coach, and the author of 14 books (and growing) including the bestselling What to Do When You Worry Too Much and Outsmarting Worry.

Dr. Huebner recognized the need for lively, easy-to-read take-home materials to help children practice the strategies they were learning in her office. She created a format effective for 6-12-year olds – the What to Do Guides for Kids - teaching complex psychological concepts using metaphors, language, and humor easily understood by children. Her newer books maintain her distinctive voice while adding a layer of detail and sophistication appreciated by older children.

All of Dr. Huebner’s books echo her philosophy - that children can and should be taught to help themselves, and that they are capable of overcoming even stuck-seeming challenges. Dr. Huebner’s books sell briskly around the world, and have been translated into 23 languages. She has been featured on the TODAY Show, CNN.com, WebMD and many other news and information outlets, and is frequently interviewed by popular parenting magazines. Dr. Huebner’s TEDx talk on Rethinking Anxiety has been viewed over 900,000 times.

Dr. Huebner enjoys hearing from readers. She is always at work on her next book...

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Ph.D. Huebner, Dawn (Author), Liza Stevens (Illustrator)

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Facing Mighty Fears About Trying New Things (Dr. Dawn’s Mini Books About Mighty Fears)

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Facing Mighty Fears About Trying New Things (Dr. Dawn’s Mini Books About Mighty Fears) [Huebner, Dawn, Ph.D., Stevens, Liza] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Facing Mighty Fears About Trying New Things (Dr. Dawn’s Mini Books About Mighty Fears)

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During my first three years as an educator, I've seen my students fearlessly try to climb up the slide on the playground, hide behind me when a bee flew too close, and anxiously hold back from sharing during show and tell or trying something new because it seemed too challenging. I'm no stranger to fear and anxiety, but for my students who ranged from three to five years old, they were only just beginning to recognize and understand these emotions themselves.

Like all emotions, fear and anxiety aren't "bad" emotions. In fact, they are important for triggering our "alarm system" when there is danger and it is natural to feel nervous in new situations. However, much like anger, fear and anxiety can become big emotions that make it difficult for us to concentrate, regulate our actions, interact with others, or try new things. Before we can help children manage these emotions we first need to help them recognize when they are feeling scared or anxious and what happens when they feel that way.

Recognizing Fear and Anxiety

When helping children recognize when they are feeling scared or anxious, it is important to remember to validate their feelings and be patient. Whether they are scared of the dark, dogs, or even vegetables, those are real feelings, sometimes associated with prior experiences and sometimes are a result of those things being new and unfamiliar. While fear and anxiety share similarities with how we respond physically, there are differences between the emotions. Fear is the reaction to an immediate danger, otherwise known as the fight, flight, freeze reaction and is an adaptive function of survival helping us to stay safe, follow safety guidelines, and ask for help. Anxiety, in contrast, is an anticipation of danger. Anxiety often happens when we are faced with something new, unpleasant, or difficult. Our internal "alarm system" might go off even if there is no immediate danger. This can be confusing and makes it harder to problem solve. Here are some questions to help your child understand fear and anxiety:

What do you feel inside your body?

Some examples for guidance may include their heart or mind is racing, they are short of breath, or their stomach is hurting.

What are you thinking about when you are scared or anxious?
If their fear is about trying something new they may be thinking they can't do it, they aren't good enough, or it's not worth trying.

How do you protect yourself?
You can reflect with your child on what they are currently doing when they are feeling scared or anxious. For example, if they were scared of big dogs they might avoid going anywhere they think they might have to encounter a big dog.

What is the result of this behavior?
In the previous example, the child may be afraid to go places if they might encounter a big dog but as a result they may be missing out on seeing friends or having new experiences.

How do you interact with others?
You can further develop your child's self-awareness by reflecting on how they interact with others when they are feeling those emotions. For example, do they become aggressive or shy?

Superpowers for Fear and Anxiety

Step 1: Calm your alarm system

Here are some tips and strategies you can share with your child to help them feel calm when they are feeling scared or anxious:

Ask for help:

Children especially may still need help understanding their internal "alarm system" to identify whether there is real danger or not. Encourage them if they are ever feeling scared or anxious to ask for help. Make sure your child knows who are the other adults they can trust when you are not present (e.g. at school, at camp).

Confident affirmations:

When we are feeling afraid but we know we aren't in immediate danger, we can try saying out loud "I am not in danger" to assure ourselves or when we are feeling anxious we could say "Stop, these thoughts are not helpful" to help us stop ruminating. If we feel our heart pounding, we can remind ourselves that "These bodily sensations are unpleasant but they are not dangerous."

Breathing exercises:
Sometimes, even though I am feeling mentally confident, I find myself feeling physically anxious, my heart is racing and I feel shaky. In this situation it's helpful for me to take slow deep breaths to try refocusing my mind and feel calm. Your child can also try placing their hands on their stomach or on top of their head while taking deep breaths. Introducing your child to meditations and cultivating positive habits can help them grow more confident in their ability to overcome new, unpleasant or difficult situations.

Step 2: Reflect and problem solve

Once your child is feeling calmer, you can try these activities together to help them think and process their fear and anxiety:

Make a 5-step plan:

As humans, we tend to avoid situations that make us anxious. For example, if a child is anxious about going to school, they might take forever to get ready in the morning or say they feel sick upon waking up. While avoiding those situations alleviates our anxiety in the short term, the more we avoid those situations, the less confident we feel about our ability to overcome them, resulting in soaring anxiety in the long term. With your child, you can make a 5-step plan to help them gradually expose themselves to what makes them anxious. The Child Mind Institute suggests helping your child set reasonable goals for overcoming fears such as sleeping on their own.

Things we can control vs. things we can't control:
Ask your child to draw a circle with a self-portrait. Inside this circle, invite your child to draw or list the things they can control (e.g. my behavior, my thoughts, my body). Outside of this circle, ask your child to draw or list the things they cannot control (e.g. others' feelings and reactions, the weather, the noise outside, my parents not getting along). You can show to your child that often when we feel anxious, we are focusing on things that are outside of our circle, i.e. out of our control. Helping your child focus on what they can control will give them agency to tackle new, difficult or unpleasant situations.

Even as adults we know life can be scary and there's a lot we might feel anxious about. We can assure our children, as we can assure ourselves, that we are not alone. Together, we can identify these emotions and our "superpowers" for helping us to feel calm, brave, and confident.

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Fear and Anxiety in Children - Tips For Helping Kids Manage Fear and Anxiety - Better Kids

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As parents and educators we cannot take away the fears and anxieties of our children, as much as we'd like to but we can help our children understand their emotions and provide them with the tools to feel better.

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Panic affects you not only physically, but also in your emotions and feelings. The body and mind are integrally connected, and often when one is affected, the other is too. Learning how to work with the powerful emotions and feelings that come up with panic-such as terror, a feeling of impending doom, anxiety, worry, fear, anger, sadness, or shame-can be enormously liberating to the panicked heart.

As human beings, we are all affected by emotions. Most of us love to feel good and hate to feel bad. We want to be liked and accepted and despise or fear being disliked or discounted. There's a beautiful saying that people will always remember how you made them feel. Human beings are feeling beings, and it may often appear that your emotions are affected first before your thoughts. You can walk into a room and get a feel of a person or situation before you start thinking and assessing the situation to determine whether you feel comfortable or not.

Panicky feelings can arise as quickly as a flash of lightning and send powerful waves of impending doom that render you feeling out of control and not knowing what to do.

Within the body, the feelings of panic are very distinct and visceral; there may be rapid breathing, a pounding heartbeat, and many other pronounced physical sensations. Equally panic affects the mind with a strong array of emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Panicky feelings can arise as quickly as a flash of lightning and send powerful waves of impending doom that render you feeling out of control and not knowing what to do. Sometimes those feelings are beyond reasoning, for it feels as though they come out of nowhere. Other times, there may be unacknowledged emotions, wounds, or traumas from your past that have yet to be worked through with meaning and healing. Whether the origin of your panic is known to you or not, panic affects your body and mind. Mindful inquiry meditation can help you deal with emotions and feelings of panic.

How to Work with the Emotions of Panic

Mindful inquiry meditation is a very useful way to work with panic-stricken emotions and feelings. It is a meditative process of inquiring into the nature of what may be fueling or driving your panic. This type of inquiry is a form of investigation; it is not a process of analyzing, trying to figure things out, or making you feel better through positive thinking. It's a deep exploration of your body and mind, with a willingness to be in the unknown and the curiosity to see what's actually there.

This type of practice takes some willingness and courage, but if you really want to know what's fueling your panic, an investigation may sound quite reasonable. After all, what do you have to lose? It seems the only thing you have to lose is your panic. As President Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "All we have to fear is fear itself."

As a way to prepare you for this meditation, it's important to understand two important aspects of mindful inquiry for working with panic: acknowledgment and letting be. You will discover that each supports the other in this process of investigation.

1) Acknowledgment
Acknowledgment is similar to one of the mindfulness attitudes: allowing. It is the practice of validating whatever's in your direct experience in a matter-of-fact way, just as a meteorologist reports the weather: it's 35 degrees, raining, and overcast; or it's 75, calm, and clear. In the same way, if you are feeling panicked, scared, or fearful, you directly acknowledge those feelings in your body and mind whether you're okay with them or not. Acknowledgment is this ability to see things just as they are without the filters of avoidance or grasping (disliking or liking).

2) Letting Be
Letting be is another important aspect or quality that you can bring to acknowledgment. Letting be is different from letting go. Letting be is cultivating the ability to let things run their course rather than trying to push them away or adding on to them. How many times have you told yourself to let go of panic and it didn't work? If you could let go, you would have. Letting be is much more accessible, since you don't have to change anything. Letting be is learning to ride the waves of panic that are affecting you physically, mentally, or emotionally and allowing them to run their course, just like ripples from a rock thrown into a lake.

In the practice of mindful inquiry, please acknowledge whatever feelings of panic you may be experiencing in the body and mind and let them be. Learning how to go with the flow of life is a much more skillful approach to dealing with panic than fighting it. There's a wise saying: "Whatever you resist, persists." Although at first it may feel counterintuitive to turn toward your panic and acknowledge it and let it be, you may discover soon enough that as you learn to go with it rather than fighting it, it will begin to dissipate.

Although at first it may feel counterintuitive to turn toward your panic and acknowledge it and let it be, you may discover soon enough that as you learn to go with it rather than fighting it, it will begin to dissipate.

It's also important to note that when you begin to acknowledge feelings of panic they may actually feel as though they are getting stronger. Please know this is a normal reaction. The reason why it may feel like that is because you're actually bringing your light of awareness to the panic, rather than turning away from it. You will, however, discover that if you continue to ride its waves, acknowledging the feelings and letting them be, they will gradually subside. In time, you will grow in confidence, you will feel empowered, and the panic will not be able to consume or control you as much as before. You will learn that you don't have to be frightened and held hostage by your panic and fears and realize that you can live your life with greater ease and peace.

Investigating What Fuels Your Panic

Mindful inquiry meditation is an investigation into what's fueling your panic, fear, or anxiety. The more you understand what's driving it, the more you can be free of it. When your awareness and understanding grows brighter, the darkness of panic and fear diminishes. So after acknowledging your panic and letting it be, you are welcome to proceed further into a deeper investigation into what's driving the panic. This is called mindful inquiry.

In time, you will grow in confidence, you will feel empowered, and the panic will not be able to consume or control you as much as before.

When you practice mindful inquiry, you may first want to try to calm your body and mind with some mindful breathing and then begin to acknowledge and let be whatever you're feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally. In this meditation you are going to stay and investigate those feelings of panic by bringing attention to the fearful feelings themselves. This is done by bringing awareness to the feeling of panic in your body and mind and letting yourself experience and investigate it non-judgmentally, just the way it is. Allow yourself to acknowledge what it feels like in your body, emotions, and feelings, and let these feelings be. There's no need to analyze or figure them out; just ride and observe and experience the waves of emotions and feelings as they come and go. In time you may discover that within those feelings of panic lie important insights into what may be fueling them. You may also realize that within you are tremendous resources for resiliency and healing-that you can learn to overcome those powerful and captive feelings of panic and live with more freedom and ease in your life.

Foundational Practice: Mindful Inquiry

In a quiet place, find a position in which you can be alert and comfortable, whether seated or lying down. Turn off your phone and any other electrical device that could disturb you. Read and practice the script for this guided meditation below, pausing after each paragraph. (Note: Before beginning this meditation, please consider whether this is the right time for you to do it. Do you feel reasonably safe and open? If not, do some mindful breathing and come back to it at another time.)
1. First, congratulate yourself that you are dedicating some precious time for meditation. 2. Become aware of your body and mind and whatever you are carrying within you. Perhaps there are feelings from the day's events or whatever has been going on recently. 3. May you simply allow and acknowledge whatever is within you and let it be, without any form of analysis. 4. Gradually, shift the focus of awareness to the breath, breathing normally and naturally. As you breathe in, be aware of breathing in, and as you breathe out, be aware of breathing out. 5. Awareness can be focused at either the tip of the nose or the abdomen, depending on your preference. If focusing at the tip of the nose, feel the touch of the air as you breathe in and out... If focusing on the abdomen, feel the belly expanding on an inhalation and contracting on an exhalation. 6. Just living life, one inhalation and one exhalation at a time. Breathing in, breathing out, experiencing each breath appearing and disappearing. Just breathing. 7. And now gently withdraw awareness from the breath and shift to mindful inquiry. 8. Mindful inquiry is an investigation into emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations that are driving your panic, anxieties, and fears, often beneath the surface of your awareness. There is a special and unique way of doing this practice that can foster the potential for deep understanding and insight. 9. When you practice mindful inquiry, gently direct your attention into the bodily feeling of panic or fear itself. Allow yourself to bring nonjudgmental awareness into the experience of it, acknowledging whatever it feels like in the body and mind and letting it be. To begin this exploration you need to first check in with yourself and determine whether it feels safe or not. If you don't feel safe, perhaps it is better to wait and try another time and just stay with your breathing for now. 10. If you are feeling safe, then bring awareness into the body and mind and allow yourself to feel into and acknowledge any physical sensations, emotions, or thoughts and just let them be...without trying to analyze or figure them out. 11. You may discover that within these feelings there's a multitude of thoughts, emotions, or old memories that are fueling your fears. When you begin to acknowledge what has not been acknowledged, the pathway of insight and understanding may arise. As you turn toward your emotions, they may show you what you are panicked, worried, mad, sad, or bewildered about. 12. You may learn that the very resistance to unacknowledged emotions often causes more panic or fear and that learning to go with it, rather than fighting it, often diminishes them. When we say "go with it," we mean that you allow and acknowledge whatever is within the mind and body. Just letting the waves of emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations go wherever they need to go just like the sky makes room for any weather. 13. Now gently returning to the breath and being mindful of breathing in and out...riding the waves of the breath. 14. As you come to the end of this meditation, take a moment to congratulate yourself and take a moment to appreciate the safety and ease you may be feeling right now that you can bring into your day. By acknowledging your fears, you may open the possibility for deeper understanding, compassion, and peace. Before you get up, gently wiggle your fingers and toes and gradually open your eyes, being fully here and now. 15. Send some loving-kindness your way. May I dwell in peace. May all beings dwell in peace.
In mindful inquiry you're invited to bring nonjudgmental awareness into any panicky emotions or feelings, whether they are related to memories or not, and to fully acknowledge and experience them in your body and mind and let them be. You may discover that within the panic is a whole plethora of feelings and experiences that are causing the agitation or whatever emotion you are feeling. When you begin to acknowledge what has not been acknowledged, the doorway of understanding can begin to open. By learning to turn toward your panic, you may experience more freedom than you could have ever imagined.
This article was adapted from Calming the Rush of Panic, by Bob Stahl PhD, Wendy Millstine NC.
Calming the Rush of Panic in Your Body

Feeling Overwhelmed? Remember "RAIN"

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Calming the Rush of Panic in Your Emotions - Mindful

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Panic affects you not only physically, but also in your emotions and feelings. The body and mind are integrally connected, and often when one is affected, the other is too. Learning how to work with the powerful emotions and feelings that come up with panic-such as terror, a feeling of impending doom, anxiety, worry, fear, anger, sadness, or shame-can be enormously liberating to the panicked heart.

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8 apps to treat phobias and fears from your smartphone - yes, therapy helps!

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These are the 8 best apps to treat phobias and fears comfortably from your smartphone. They are applications that will allow you to solve your anchored fears.

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The fear of threat, or anxiety, is like a strong gust of wind. It drags you in and makes you want to fight it or run away.

Instead, face your fear with the free Clear Fear app and learn to reduce the physical responses to threat as well as changing thoughts and behaviours and releasing emotions.

Anxiety is a natural response to fear, threat and apprehension. However, when anxiety is extreme or goes on for a long time, or the response to a threat is disproportionately large and affects a person negatively, it may become an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorders are the most common form of emotional disorder and respond very well to a form of treatment called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT.
When you face your fear, you will reduce the threat and glide.

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Clear Fear is the latest app from award-winning teenage mental health charity stem4.

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FearTools is an evidence-based app designed to help you combat anxiety, aiding you on your road to recovery. This application is especially useful for those suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Phobias, and Social Anxiety Disorder.

FearTools contains several simple, useful, and powerful tools. They include:

Thought Diary - Challenge and reframe your unhelpful thoughts with this cognitive therapy technique

Exposure - Overcome your fears with gradual exposure, an effective behavioral therapy technique

Breathe - Relax with this simple and customizable paced breathing tool

Information - Read information, follow self-help guidelines, and find additional resources

Test - Take the GAD-7 anxiety questionnaire and track your symptom severity over time

Video - Discover helpful YouTube videos that can improve your mood and behavior, from guided meditations to enlightening TED talks

FearTools was designed in collaboration with multiple mental health professionals. FearTools is free, contains no advertisements, and is a purely non-profit venture aimed at helping people suffering from clinical depression. Thank you for supporting our efforts with your positive ratings and reviews. Please send any requests, questions, or feedback via email to moodtools@moodtools.org and we will be sure to respond to each one.

Disclaimer: This mental health application is not intended to be a replacement for treatment nor any sort of medical intervention. Treatment is, by far, the best way to overcome anxiety disorders. Psychotherapy and medications have been shown to effectively treat anxiety. This application will only aid you on your path to recovery from anxiety. If you are not being professionally treated for anxiety, please talk to your doctor or therapist or use this app to find resources that can connect you to treatment.

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FearTools - Anxiety Aid - Apps on Google Play

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FearTools is an evidence-based app designed to help you combat anxiety, aiding you on your road to recovery. This application is especially useful for those suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Phobias, and Social Anxiety Disorder. FearTools contains several simple, useful, and powerful tools.

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Bucket List Journey | Travel + Lifestyle Blog

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With negative news, high-pressure careers, natural disasters, violence and epidemics, it's really no wonder why some people can be plagued with fears-hands begin to shake as the heart starts beating faster. All of this anxiety can cause people to stop living the bucket list lifestyle they dream of.

So, how can we overcome these fears? How can we stay calm and strong in the face of turmoil? What do we do when the fear tries to paralyze all our being? There were a set of tools I used to face my anxiety and fears that might help you, but also these 8 books on fear contain decades of experience, and can guide you in the right direction.

1. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker

Most of us hate fear. But Gavin de Becker claims it's a GIFT. Seriously? Yes seriously, the author is an expert on predicting violent behavior and he explains that our true fear is a signal that is called to protect us.

"You can refuse to be a victim."(1) states de Becker. He describes the warning signs which always indicate future violence. Learning these signals, a person can avoid being hurt. Gavin explains that there is a universal code of violence and it's very important for us to learn to recognize it.

After reading this book on fear you will learn to listen to your intuition, separate real danger from an imagined one, and recognize the survival signals that your brain gives you.

2. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown

Brené Brown claims that your vulnerability is actually one of your strengths. Do you have this tickling feeling of disagreeing inside of your chest? The same thing happened to me when I first saw this book, but the author challenges the way we understand vulnerability and she backs her arguments with twelve years of research.

This book about fear shows us a perspective of "sitting on the same side of the table"(2) and acknowledging our imperfection. It will also help to improve your personal and work relationships by explaining to us how we can communicate and give feedback in a way that will be heard and understood.

3. Fearless by Max Lucado

"Storms are not an option, but fear is" (3). In his book "Fearless", Max Lucado helps us restore our balance finding a strong connection with God.

Max Lucado is a person of great hope. And his book is felt with honesty and kindness. Every chapter represents a complete story and helps concentrate on the positive side of life and remember simple but strong lessons from the Bible. The author explores different types of fear and helps us look our fear in the face.

Host and author Dave Ramsey recommends this book "to anyone who is tired of the doom and gloom and ready to step out of fear once and for all."(3)

4. The Confidence Gap: A Guide To Overcoming Fear And Self-Doubt by Russ Harris

Have you ever missed a good opportunity because of fear? You didn't get a promotion or didn't ask that pretty girl on a date-these situations have happened to most of us. Russ Harris gives us an incredible manual on how to overcome our fear and build self-confidence.

He uses a very special approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This method teaches us to accept our fears and feelings, and then we can begin to build our confidence around our core values. The author sees success as "living by your values."(4) And our values give us the strength we need to overcome fear.

5. Feel the Fear & Do it Anyway by Dr. Susan Jeffers

Turn your fear into power, your decision into action, your anger into love! Does that sound exciting? Then buckle up! Dr. Susan Jeffers will take you on this remarkable transformation journey.

Susan describes five truths about fear and gives her readers a 10-step process for creating positive thinking.

"Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" is not only a practical guide to overcoming your fears, its title is also a great mantra worth repeating again and again.

6. Do It Scared: Finding The Courage To Face Your Fears, Overcome Adversity, And Create A Life You Love by Ruth Soukup

What doesn't let make your dreams come true? - "Fear of failure"(5), says Ruth Soukup. In her book "Do It Scared", she shares her experience of overcoming your fears and living your dream. Courage does not mean fearlessness. The courage is being scared but still doing what it takes.

Ruth invites you to indicate your own Fear Archetype and learn to conquer it. The author lists 7 fear archetypes: the procrastinator, the rule follower, the people pleaser, the outcast, the self-doubter, the excuse maker and the pessimist. The names are quite self-descriptive, really. But the instructions of beating those demons are worth reading.

7. Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh

"We are very afraid of being powerless. But we have the power to look deeply at our fears, and then fear cannot control us."(6)

A profound thinker, teacher, and poet Thich Nhat Hanh uses simple sentences to convey eternal truths. The author explores the roots of fear and walks us through simple yet deep steps to calm our soul. This book is filled with spiritual power and great lightness. Hanh tells us that our greatest teacher is within us and he encourages people "not to take refuge in anything that's outside of you."

This book about fear is a remarkable journey inside of yourself-a journey to find inner peace.

8. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

You have the power to change your destiny. To some this is a disputable statement, but Joseph Murphy spent years of research and practice to compile this work. He says that most events that happen to us are results of our conscious and subconscious activity.

The scientist studied the world's religions for years and discovered that spiritual practice is a source of human strength.

"Just keep your conscious mind busy with expectation of the best."(7) and read this great book about fear.

We are living in an amazing time when you don't have to spend years traveling through India or Thailand to study the teachings of the wise. We can access lessons from experienced humankind just by clicking a couple of buttons. And maybe as we delve deeper into the process of overcoming our fear we will learn that fear is a choice.

CITATIONS:
1. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
2. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
3. Fearless by Max Lucado
4. The Confidence Gap: A Guide To Overcoming Fear And Self-Doubt by Russ Harris
5. Do It Scared: Finding The Courage To Face Your Fears, Overcome Adversity, And Create A Life You Love by Ruth Soukup
6. Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh
7. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through my links, I earn a commission that helps to keep this blog running-at no extra cost to you. You can read my full disclosure .

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Is a phobia keeping you from doing things you'd like to do? Learn how to recognize, treat, and overcome the problem.

What is a phobia?

Almost everyone has an irrational fear or two-of spiders, for example, or your annual dental checkup. For most people, these fears are minor. But when fears become so severe that they cause tremendous anxiety and interfere with your normal life, they're called phobias.

A phobia is an intense fear of something that, in reality, poses little or no actual danger. Common phobias and fears include closed-in places, heights, highway driving, flying insects, snakes, and needles. However, you can develop phobias of virtually anything. While most phobias develop in childhood, they can also develop in later life.

If you have a phobia, you probably realize that your fear is irrational, yet you still can't control your feelings. Just thinking about the feared object or situation may make you anxious. And when you're actually exposed to the thing you fear, the terror is automatic and overwhelming. The experience is so nerve-wracking that you may go to great lengths to avoid it-inconveniencing yourself or even changing your lifestyle. If you have claustrophobia, for example, you might turn down a lucrative job offer if you have to ride the elevator to get to the office. If you have a fear of heights, you might drive an extra 20 miles in order to avoid a tall bridge.

Understanding your phobia is the first step to overcoming it. It's important to know that phobias are common. (Having a phobia doesn't mean you're crazy!) It also helps to know that phobias are highly treatable. No matter how out of control it feels right now, you can overcome your anxiety and fear and start living the life you want.

Barbara's fear of flying

Barbara is terrified of flying. Unfortunately, she has to travel a lot for work, and this traveling takes a terrible toll. For weeks before every trip, she has a knot in her stomach and a feeling of anxiety that won't go away. On the day of the flight, she wakes up feeling like she's going to throw up. Once she's on the plane, her heart pounds, she feels lightheaded, and she starts to hyperventilate. It gets worse and worse with every flight.

Barbara's fear of flying has gotten so bad that she finally told her boss she can only travel to places within driving distance. Her boss was not happy about this, and Barbara's not sure what will happen at work. She's afraid she'll be demoted or lose her job altogether. But better that, she tells herself, than getting on a plane again.

"Normal" fears vs. phobias or "irrational" fears

It is normal and even helpful to experience fear in dangerous situations. Fear serves a protective purpose, activating the automatic "fight-or-flight" response. With our bodies and minds alert and ready for action, we are able to respond quickly and protect ourselves. But with phobias the threat is nonexistent or greatly exaggerated. For example, it is only natural to be afraid of a snarling Doberman, but it is irrational to be terrified of a friendly poodle on a leash, as you might be if you have a dog phobia.

The difference between normal fear and a phobia

Feeling anxious when flying through turbulence or taking off during a storm

Not going to your best friend's island wedding because you'd have to fly there

Experiencing butterflies when peering down from the top of a skyscraper or climbing a tall ladder

Turning down a great job because it's on the 10th floor of the office building

Getting nervous when you see a pit bull or a Rottweiler

Steering clear of the park because you might see a dog

Feeling a little queasy when getting a shot or when your blood is being drawn

Avoiding necessary medical treatments or doctor's checkups because you're terrified of needles

Normal fears in children

Many childhood fears are natural and tend to develop at specific ages. For example, many young children are afraid of the dark and may need a nightlight to sleep. That doesn't mean they have a phobia. In most cases, they will grow out of this fear as they get older.

For example, the following childhood fears are extremely common and considered normal:

0-2 years - Loud noises, strangers, separation from parents, large objects.

3-6 years - Imaginary things such as ghosts, monsters, the dark, sleeping alone, strange noises.

7-16 years - More realistic fears such as injury, illness, school performance, death, natural disasters.

If your child's fear is not interfering with their daily life or causing them a great deal of distress, then there's little cause for undue concern. However, if the fear is interfering with your child's social activities, school performance, or sleep, you may want to see a qualified child therapist.

Common types of phobias and fears

There are four general types of phobias and fears:

1. Animal phobias such as the fear of snakes, spiders, rodents, and dogs.

2. Natural environment phobias such as a fear of heights, storms, water, and of the dark.

3. Situational phobias (fears triggered by a specific situation) including the fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia), flying, driving, tunnels, and bridges.

4. Blood-Injection-Injury phobia, the fear of blood, injury, illness, needles, or other medical procedures.

Some phobias, however, don't fall into one of the four common categories. These include fear of choking, fear of getting a disease such as cancer, and fear of clowns. Other common phobias that don't fit neatly into any of the four categories include:

Social phobia, also called social anxiety disorder, is fear of social situations where you may be embarrassed or judged. If you have social phobia, then you may be excessively self-conscious and afraid of humiliating yourself in front of others. Your anxiety over how you will look and what others will think may lead you to avoid certain social situations you'd otherwise enjoy.

Fear of public speaking-an extremely common phobia-is a type of social phobia. Other fears associated with social phobia include fear of eating or drinking in public, talking to strangers, taking exams, mingling at a party, or being called on in class.

Agoraphobia was traditionally thought to involve a fear of public places and open spaces, but is now believed to develop as a complication of panic attacks.

If you're afraid of having another panic attack, you become anxious about being in situations where escape would be difficult or embarrassing. For example, you're likely to avoid crowded places such as shopping malls and movie theaters. You may also avoid cars, airplanes, subways, and other forms of travel. In more severe cases, you might only feel safe at home.

Signs and symptoms of phobias

The symptoms of a phobia can range from mild feelings of apprehension and anxiety to a full-blown panic attack. Typically, the closer you are to the thing you're afraid of, the greater your fear will be. Your fear will also be higher if getting away is difficult.

Physical symptoms of a phobia include:

Difficulty breathing

Racing or pounding heart

Chest pain or tightness

Trembling or shaking

Feeling dizzy or light-headed

A churning stomach

Hot or cold flashes; tingling sensations

Sweating

Emotional symptoms of a phobia include:

Feeling overwhelming anxiety or panic

Feeling intense need to escape

Feeling "unreal" or detached from yourself

Fear of losing control or going crazy

Feeling like you're going to die or pass out

Knowing that you're overreacting, but feeling powerless to control fear

Symptoms of blood-injection-injury phobia

The symptoms of blood-injection-injury phobia are slightly different from other phobias. When confronted with the sight of blood or a needle, you experience not only fear, but also disgust.

Like other phobias, you initially feel anxious as your heart speeds up. However, unlike other phobias, this acceleration is followed by a quick drop in blood pressure, which leads to nausea, dizziness, and fainting. Although a fear of fainting is common in all specific phobias, blood-injection-injury phobia is the only phobia where fainting can actually occur.

When to seek help for phobias and fears

Although phobias are common, they don't always cause considerable distress or significantly disrupt your life. For example, if you have a snake phobia, it may cause no problems in your everyday activities if you live in a city where you're not likely to run into one. On the other hand, if you have a severe phobia of crowded spaces, living in a big city would pose a problem.

If your phobia doesn't impact your life that much, it's probably nothing to be concerned about. But if avoidance of the object, activity, or situation that triggers your phobia interferes with your normal functioning, or keeps you from doing things you would otherwise enjoy, it's time to seek help.

Consider treatment for your phobia if:

It causes intense and disabling fear, anxiety, and panic

You recognize that your fear is excessive and unreasonable

You avoid certain situations and places because of your phobia

Your avoidance interferes with your normal routine or causes significant distress

You've had the phobia for at least six months

Treating a phobia

Self-help strategies and therapy can both be effective at treating a phobia. What's best for you depends on factors such as the severity of your phobia, your access to professional therapy, and the amount of support you need.

As a general rule, self-help is always worth a try. The more you can do for yourself, the more in control you'll feel-which goes a long way when it comes to phobias and fears. However, if your phobia is so severe that it triggers panic attacks or uncontrollable anxiety, you may want to seek additional support.

Therapy for phobias has a great track record. Not only does it work extremely well, but you tend to see results very quickly-sometimes in as a little as one to four sessions. However, support doesn't have to come in the guise of a professional therapist. Just having someone to hold your hand or stand by your side as you face your fears can be extremely helpful.

Phobia self-help tip 1: Face your fears, one step at a time

It's only natural to want to avoid the thing or situation you fear. But when it comes to conquering phobias, facing your fears is the key. While avoidance may make you feel better in the short-term, it prevents you from learning that your phobia may not be as frightening or overwhelming as you think. You never get the chance to learn how to cope with your fears and experience control over the situation. As a result, the phobia becomes increasingly scarier and more daunting in your mind.

The most effective way to overcome a phobia is by gradually and repeatedly exposing yourself to what you fear in a safe and controlled way. During this exposure process, you'll learn to ride out the anxiety and fear until it inevitably passes. Through repeated experiences facing your fear, you'll begin to realize that the worst isn't going to happen; you're not going to die or "lose it." With each exposure, you'll feel more confident and in control. The phobia begins to lose its power.

It's important to begin with a situation that you can handle, and work your way up from there, building your confidence and coping skills as you move up the "fear ladder."

Make a list. Make a list of the frightening situations related to your phobia. If you're afraid of flying, your list (in addition to the obvious, such as taking a flight or getting through takeoff) might include booking your ticket, packing your suitcase, driving to the airport, watching planes take off and land, going through security, boarding the plane, and listening to the flight attendant present the safety instructions.

Build your fear ladder. Arrange the items on your list from the least scary to the most scary. The first step should make you slightly anxious, but not so frightened that you're too intimidated to try it. When creating the ladder, it can be helpful to think about your end goal (for example, to be able to be near dogs without panicking) and then break down the steps needed to reach that goal.

Work your way up the ladder. Start with the first step and don't move on until you start to feel more comfortable doing it. If possible, stay in the situation long enough for your anxiety to decrease. The longer you expose yourself to the thing you're afraid of, the more you'll get used to it and the less anxious you'll feel when you face it the next time. Once you've done a step on several separate occasions without feeling too much anxiety, you can move on to the next step. If a step is too hard, break it down into smaller steps or go slower.

Practice. The more often you practice, the quicker your progress will be. However, don't rush. Go at a pace that you can manage without feeling overwhelmed. And remember: you will feel uncomfortable and anxious as you face your fears, but the feelings are only temporary. If you stick with it, the anxiety will fade.

Facing a fear of dogs: A sample fear ladder

Step 1: Look at pictures of dogs.

Step 2: Watch a video with dogs in it.

Step 3: Look at a dog through a window.

Step 4: Stand across the street from a dog on a leash.

Step 5: Stand 10 feet away from a dog on a leash.

Step 6: Stand five feet away from a dog on a leash.

Step 7: Stand beside a dog on a leash.

Step 8: Pet a small dog that someone is holding.

Step 9: Pet a larger dog on a leash.

Step 10: Pet a larger dog off leash.

If you start to feel overwhelmed...

While it's natural to feel scared or anxious as you face your phobia, if you start to feel overwhelmed, immediately back off and use the techniques outlined below to quickly calm your nervous system.

Tip 2: Learn to calm down quickly

When you're afraid or anxious, you experience a variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms, such as a racing heart and a suffocating feeling. These physical sensations can be frightening themselves-and a large part of what makes your phobia so distressing. However, by learning how to calm yourself down quickly, you can become more confident in your ability to tolerate uncomfortable sensations and face your fears.

Perform a simple deep breathing exercise. When you're anxious, you tend to take quick, shallow breaths (known as hyperventilating), which actually adds to the physical feelings of anxiety. By breathing deeply from the abdomen, you can reverse these physical sensations and feel less tense, less short of breath, and less anxious. Practice when you're feeling calm until you're familiar and comfortable with the exercise.

Sit or stand comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.

Take a slow breath in through your nose, counting to four. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.

Hold your breath for a count of seven.

Exhale through your mouth to a count of eight, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.

Inhale again, repeating the cycle until you feel relaxed and centered.

Practice this deep breathing technique for five minutes twice day. When you're comfortable with the technique, you can use it when you're facing your phobia or in another stressful situation.

Use your senses

One of the quickest and most reliable ways to relieve anxiety is by engaging one or more of your senses-sight, sound, taste, smell, touch-or through movement. But since everyone is different, you'll need to do some experimenting to discover what works best for you.

Movement - Go for a walk, jump up and down, or gently stretch. Dancing, drumming, and running can be especially effective at relieving anxiety.

Sight - Look at anything that relaxes you or makes you smile: a beautiful view, family photos, cat pictures on the Internet.

Sound - Listen to soothing music, sing a favorite tune, or play a musical instrument. Or enjoy the relaxing sounds of nature (either live or recorded): ocean waves, wind through the trees, birds singing.

Smell - Light scented candles. Smell the flowers in a garden. Breathe in the clean, fresh air. Spritz on your favorite perfume.

Taste - Slowly eat a favorite treat, savoring each bite. Sip a cup of coffee or herbal tea. Chew on a stick of gum. Enjoy a mint or your favorite hard candy.

Touch - Give yourself a hand or neck massage. Cuddle a pet. Wrap yourself in a soft blanket. Sit outside in the cool breeze.

Meditation for stress and anxiety relief

When fear or anxiety starts to carry you away, meditating can help stop it in its tracks. And with regular practice, meditation boosts activity in the area of the brain responsible for feelings of serenity, helping to quell fear and panic before they strike.

Tip 3: Challenge negative thoughts about your phobia

When you have a phobia, you tend to overestimate how bad it will be if you're exposed to the situation you fear and underestimate your ability to cope. The anxious thoughts that trigger and fuel phobias are usually negative and unrealistic. By writing down the negative thoughts you have when confronted by your phobia, you can begin to challenge these unhelpful ways of thinking. Many times, these thoughts fall into the following categories:

Fortune telling. For example, "This bridge is going to collapse;" "I'll make a fool of myself for sure;" "I will definitely lose it when the elevator doors close."

Overgeneralization. "I fainted once while getting a shot. I'll never be able to get a shot again without passing out;" "That pit bull lunged at me. All dogs are dangerous."

Catastrophizing. "The captain said we're going through turbulence. The plane is going to crash!" "The person next to me coughed. Maybe it's swine flu. I'm going to get very sick!"

Once you've identified your negative thoughts, evaluate them. Use the following example to get started.

Negative thought: "The elevator will break down and I'll get trapped and suffocate."

Ask yourself the following 4 questions:
1. Is there any evidence that contradicts my negative thought?

Yes, for example: "People are currently using the elevator and it hasn't broken down."

"Even if it did break down, I've never heard of anyone dying from suffocation in an elevator. There are air vents which would stop the air from running out."

"I've never been in an elevator that has broken down."

2. Could you do anything to resolve this situation if it does occur?

"Yes, I could press the alarm or use the telephone to call for assistance."

"I'm fortune telling, as there is no evidence to suggest that the elevator will break down or that I'd suffocate."

"I would tell a friend that the chances of the elevator breaking down are very slim, it's not something you hear about happening very often."

It's also helpful to come up with some positive coping statements that you can tell yourself when facing your phobia. For example:

"I've felt this way before and nothing terrible happened. It may be unpleasant, but it won't harm me."

"If the worst happens and I have a panic attack while I'm driving, I'll simply pull over and wait for it to pass."

"I've flown many times and the plane has never crashed. Statistically, flying is very safe."

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Almost everyone has an irrational fear or two-of spiders, for example, or your annual dental checkup. For most people, these fears are minor. But when fears become so severe that they cause tremendous anxiety and interfere with your normal life, they're called phobias.

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How to Overcome Fear: How to Remove Fear from Mind and Heart

It is a serious issue when you suffering from panic attack and anxiety because feeling of fear always. Fear can happen anywhere anytime, when you need to do an important presentation, attend an important meeting or interview.

It is not wise to run away from fear and also not advisable to leave it behind for too long, you will find it becomes more complex and harder to overcome it, face it and stop it right away.

You can start focusing with these three tips on how to overcome fear effectively.

1. Controlling- You can start with a small task, which you are fully taking charge and having control over the whole process. This helps to boost your confidence once you accomplish it.

What can you do to stop constant anxiety and fear? Is it possible to stop panic attacks without medication?

To learn the killer, advanced methods to stop fears, phobias and anxieties, simply click here!

2. Hang around with people who are supporting you, able to guide you and advise you whenever you need help. Being an outsider, they can see a clearer picture and better analyze the situation than you do.

They are playing a significant role being supportive when you are feeling down and depress, their encouragement will definitely help you to overcome fear and depression.

3. Go for a 20-30 minutes exercise a day. Exercise has the good "contribution" to our blood circulation, to keep us fresh and feel good. You can go for an exercise that you like and enjoy doing it, swimming, jogging, cycling or dancing.

Different people handle fear in a different way, what work for you might not work for others as well. You need to know the cause of the fear factor and choose the one that fits your need and workable for you in order to overcome fear effectively.

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If you are suffering from anxiety, you should remember that there is a cure for your situation. You just have to try to find the actual cure for you, since there are many kinds of treatments that are available. You should think about your situation as a unique one because one cure may work for a person but this does not mean that it will also work for you.

You will definitely have to seek medical help since your situation can be solved faster when a doctor is able to assess your situation. There would be tests and consultations that should be done and you will also have to respond to it. These will be necessary for the doctor to know the actual treatment that will probably work for you. There are some who would prefer to take medicines as their maintenance while there are others who engage in therapy as their primary sole for treatment. Others combine the two methods to achieve the faster results. This may also work for you or not. Your doctor will help you out in knowing the solution to your condition.

One of the things that you can try is to have an anxiety chat. Having other people know your situation can be helpful so that you will know that you are undergoing something that is common. You are not alone in this problem and there are also other people who share your burden. This is done though having group therapies. Doctors and other experts can facilitate the flow of the conversation of the patients but the general idea is to have them talk. Talking and sharing would be one of the best ways to solve your anxiety because it helps you relax and think in a more logical manner.

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You will have to attend a series of therapy session so that you will be able to achieve long term results. There are psychotherapists that can help you during the sessions. Moreover, it would also be helpful if you continue in talking and sharing even if you are not in a session. You can talk to your family or friends so that you can calm down. This would be even helpful as you will have the chance to let them understand you. Thus, they will also avoid thinking the wrong way about your condition.

The treatment for your situation should be done gradually. You have to make yourself well adjusted to your situation and since your way of thinking is the one that needs to be solved, you have to let it sink in. You have many options. Anxiety chat may be a good one for those who does not want to take medications. However, you should still consider your schedule and the causes of your anxiety. You can still try other methods of treatment if this does not suit you. You will need the doctor to help you so that you will remain safe and the treatment is would also be better for you.

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Panic and anxiety attack happens when fear strikes us without warning, it can happen anytime anywhere. These are the symptoms when you are feeling, chest tightness, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, sweating which will make you feel like you are going insane and having heart attacks but in fact, panic attacks will not harm you.

You need to stop it immediately when it is still under control, easier to handle. Do not wait until it get worst. Take a deep breath, find a quiet place to relax your mind whenever you feel fear or anxious, do not force yourself just be cool.

Take one thing at a time, you can try to list down your problems and analyze it one by one. You can solve your problem only when you find out the causes and the sources, do not make any negative judgment, be positive remember nothing is impossible.
Learn How I Used 3 Simple Techniques To Stop Panic & Anxiety Attacks
Stop being negative and always expecting the worst. Thing might not be as bad as what you always think. Good things will happen only when you have a positive mind. You should try to look at thing with open mind and avoid all the negative thoughts that you have to stop panic attacks.

You can also try to release your stress by writing blog, as a diary. It is a good way to blow out your emotion especially when you feeling down or depress. You can also go for some activities that you like such as catch up a funny movie, read comics, singing, dancing, gardening, washing your car or anything that you enjoy doing if you do not feel like talking to others.

Try this out to stop panic attacks and you will see the sunshine soon.

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How to overcome being shy? It's a question and a topic that can blight lives with people struggling with self confidence, dealing with social situations and the human interaction that can help us progress in jobs, relationships and life.

So what do you need to do if you are to discover how to overcome being shy?

1) The most important challenge of all is to understand the root causes of your shyness. This is more than the simple matter of saying "I don't like parties" or something similar. Try and examine the deep down worries you have about social situations and interacting. Is it to do with your feelings about yourself, rather than the people you meet? If you can work out at some level your fears, then you have the initial tool to conquer them.
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2) Take small steps. If you find small talk painful, try having exchanges with people in situations that are not entirely social. A good example is chatting with cashiers at grocery or other stores. If things go wrong, you will soon have an excuse to leave when you have paid for your goods. There is less pressure here to "make a friend" than somewhere else.

3) Find people with common interests - on-line chat rooms can work well here. Then you already have a connection with someone if you choose to meet them in person.

4) Don't rely on alcohol or something similar to overcome your problem. It might give you a short term boost, but the long term damage - mental and physical - is not worth it. It only hides your symptoms and does not challenge them.

These will all help you answer that big question: How to overcome being shy?

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If you are willing to make just a few simple changes in your daily routine, you can stop your panic attacks and enjoy your daily activities again, both alone and with your friends and family. To learn how you can stop your symptoms in a couple of steps and then prevent them from ever appearing again- Click Here

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How to Overcome Fear: How to Remove Fear from Mind and Heart

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How to Overcome Fear: How to Remove Fear from Mind and Heart It is a serious issue when you suffering from panic attack and anxiety because feeling of fear always. Fear can happen anywhere anytime, when you need to do an important presentation, attend an important meeting or interview.

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A little bit of fear is normal. In fact, fear helps you instinctively protect yourself from harm. Your fear might help you to recognize when you're about to do something dangerous, and it could help you to make a safer choice.

But, you might find yourself fearful of things that aren't actually dangerous, like public speaking. Your fear of public speaking might prevent you from advancing in your career or participating in traditions like giving a toast at your best friend's wedding.

If you really want to go on a vacation to Europe, but your fear of flying gives you pause, you might feel like your fear is stopping you from living your dream. If you find that your fear holds you back or creates bigger problems in your life, facing your fear may help you learn to better cope with the fear and ultimately overcome it.

Common ways of facing your fears are evaluating the risks, creating an action plan, seeing a therapist, and being sure not to completely avoid your fears. However, you may need to first decide whether it's necessary to face your fear if it is not part of your daily life.

Evaluate Risks

Sometimes, fear comes from simply not knowing very much about the thing you fear.﻿﻿ For example, you might be afraid of airplanes because it seems like you have heard about a lot of in-air incidents that lead to injury or death.

However, if you look into the statistics, you might learn that the probability of death on a U.S. commercial jet airline is 1 in 7 million (in comparison to 1 in 600 from smoking).

You can also learn more about what causes those bumps and jolts during turbulence on an aircraft-it's simply the movement of air having an effect on the aircraft and, if you're buckled in properly, poses very little threat to you.

Of course, less tangible fears, such as being afraid of public speaking, don't necessarily have statistics to help you learn more about the risks you perceive. But you can read about other people's successful public speaking ventures, or learn more about the successful public speaking strategies, to help you feel more confident.

Create an Action Plan

The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing something too scary before you are ready can backfire.

But it's also important to keep moving forward. A moderate amount of anxiety is OK. Don't wait for your anxiety to disappear before taking a step forward, or you may find yourself waiting for a change that isn't going to come on its own.

The best way to create an action plan is to create a fear hierarchy made up of small steps. Here's an example of how someone might face the fear of public speaking one step at a time using a form of exposure therapy:

In some cases, virtual reality treatment may be an option to provide exposure therapy. The treatment has shown promise in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Seek a Therapist

If your fears are debilitating, you aren't having much success facing them on your own, or your fear may is related to a specific health condition, like an eating disorder, social anxiety disorder, or PTSD, you can seek the help of a trusted mental health professional. If you have a specific phobia, which is a persistent, diagnosable anxiety disorder, you may not feel prepared to conquer your fears on your own.

A cognitive behavioral therapist can help desensitize you to your fears one small step at a time. Most mental health professionals are comfortable treating a variety of fears and phobias ranging from the fear of public speaking to arachnophobia.

Treatment may involve talking about the thing that scares you, practicing relaxation strategies, and managing your anxiety as you face your fears head-on. A therapist can help you go at a pace that is comfortable and healthy for you.

Fear-facing treatment may include:

Avoiding vs. Facing Your Fears

While avoiding the situations you fear might make you feel better in the short term, avoidance can cause increased anxiety in the long term. When you completely avoid your fears, you teach your amygdala (the fear center in your brain) that you can't handle them.

On the contrary, gradually facing your fears, in small doses that don't overwhelm you, may help decrease anxiety "habituating" your amygdala, or letting your brain become accustomed to the fear.

According to an animal study published in the journal Science, the brain has to experience repeated exposure to fear in order to get over it. Researchers placed rodents in a small box and gave them a mild shock. Then, over a long period, they place the same rodents in a box without administering shocks. At first, the mice froze but with repeated exposure, they were able to relax.

While animal research isn't directly applicable to humans, the thought behind facing your fears aims to achieve a similar outcome.

Should You Face Your Fear?

You don't need to conquer every fear you have. A fear of tsunamis may not be disruptive to your everyday life if you live 1,000 miles away from the ocean. But it may be a problem if you live on the coast and panic every time you hear about earthquakes, storms, or high tides because you think you might be in danger, or you avoid going on a vacation you'd otherwise enjoy in an effort to avoid getting close to open water.

Have an internal conversation with yourself about what your fears are stopping you from doing, and consider whether it's a problem that you need to confront. Are your fears causing you to lead a less fulfilling life than the one you hoped for?

Consider the pros and cons of not facing your fear. Write those down.

Identify the pros and cons of tackling your fears head-on.

Write down what you might achieve or how your life might be different if you overcome your fear.

Read over the lists to make a clearer decision about what to do next.

Fear vs. Phobia

When determining whether you should face your fear on your own, it's important to understand the distinction between a normal fear and a phobia. When psychologists distinguish between fears and phobias, the key difference is the strength of the fear response and its impact on the person's life.

You also might watch videos about airplanes, or park your car near an airport in an area where you can watch flights land and take off. Learning more about planes and being near them may help ease your fear over time.

If you can't actually do the thing that scares you to practice, you might use imagined exposure. For example, while it's difficult to practice flying on an airplane one step at a time, you might be able to induce a little anxiety by imagining yourself getting on a plane. Think about how it would feel to take your seat and how you would handle feeling the plane take off.

Stand in front of a mirror and give a two-minute talk.

Record yourself giving a talk and watch it back.

Practice the talk in front of a partner.

Practice the talk in front of a partner and family member.

Practice the talk in front of a partner, family member, and one friend.

Practice the talk in front of a partner, family member, and two friends.

Give the talk in a meeting at work.

Both fears and phobias generate an emotional response, but a phobia causes anxiety that is disproportionate to the perceived threat so much so that it interferes with a person's ability to function. For example, while a fear of flying may make you anxious about an upcoming trip or have you considering an alternate means of travel, if you have aerophobia (a specific phobia surrounding flying), your phobia may impact your daily life, including:

Spending an inordinate amount of time worrying about flying (even when a trip isn't imminent)

Avoiding airports

Becoming anxious when planes fly overhead

Having an inability to board a flight, or experiencing a serious physiological response like sweating, shaking, or crying if you do board a plane

While treatment for phobia may very well include an element of facing the fear in the form of guided therapy, it may also include medication or alternative therapies.

Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

A Word From Verywell

The best way to conquer a fear is to face it head-on, but it's important to do so in a healthy manner that helps you move past the fear rather than in a way that traumatizes you. If you're having difficulty on your own, a mental health professional can guide you gradually through the situations that you fear, being sure to first work on the thought patterns that keep you stuck.

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How to Face Your Fears: Healthy Ways to Cope

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A little bit of fear is normal. In fact, fear helps you instinctively protect yourself from harm. Your fear might help you to recognize when you're about to do something dangerous, and it could help you to make a safer choice. But, you might find yourself fearful of things that aren't actually dangerous, like public speaking.

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"I feel trapped and worried and hurt and sad...and guilty for feeling the way I do."

"How long will this lying go on? I love him but I don't trust him."

"Sometimes I catch myself wondering if his death would just be easier. I hate myself for having thoughts like that. Am I alone?"

Negative emotions are normal

These are just some of the thoughts and feelings parents have shared with us. Do any of these sound familiar?

Even in the best of circumstances, parenting a teen or young adult can be challenging. But when substance use enters the picture, you're likely to feel overwhelmed by negative emotions like fear, worry and anger which cause distress.

Whether it's fear of what might happen next, shame associated with the stigma of substance use, resentment that this is happening to your family, guilt that perhaps you could have done something differently as a parent or grief over lost opportunities that you wanted for your child, these emotions are very powerful.

Sometimes the emotions hit us in moments when we are quiet, while others seem to have become as much a part of us as breathing. Regardless of their intensity or frequency, the fallout can be damaging. You may have difficulty focusing at work, be reluctant to leave your home unattended or isolate yourself from friends or family.

Constant negative emotions can also get in the way of happiness, compound our level of stress and worry and ultimately damage our own health. Some people will experience physical ailments such as stomach upsets, migraine headaches and insomnia, while others suffer depressed immune systems resulting in frequent colds and flu.

While there is no magic wand to change negative emotions to positive ones, there are ways to lessen the intensity of the emotion and shorten its duration. With practice, you can learn to disrupt and tame negative cycles. Not only will handling your negative emotions in a healthy way improve your overall outlook, but you will also be modeling healthy coping skills - that don't rely on drugs or alcohol - for your teen or young adult.

Don't Try to Stop Negative Thoughts.

If you are obsessing about your situation, whatever you do, don't tell yourself, "I have to stop thinking about this!" Your worry will actually get worse when you try to control your thoughts. Getting mad at yourself for worrying or telling yourself to stop only adds fuel to the negativity fire.

Name The Emotion You're Feeling.

Instead of trying to shut down your negative feelings, acknowledge and accept them. The mere act of identifying the emotion underlying your negative feelings can begin to lessen its weight. For example, fear is often experienced as a shortness of breath, a rapid heartbeat and a gnawing sensation in the belly, while grief might be experienced as a heaviness of the heart or a lump in the throat.

Acceptance is the basic premise of mindful meditation, a practice that helps reduce stress and anxiety.

What Caused This Feeling?

Our interpretation of thoughts about events, memories, judgments, beliefs, values, expectations and observations give rise to feelings and emotions. This is called self-talk, and it's how we talk to ourselves, either aloud or silently. What you tell yourself in any given moment can be helpful or result in much of the unnecessary upset or distress you feel.

Let's take a closer look at an example of how self-talk related to the same situation can result in three different emotions. Suppose you're meeting friend at a coffee shop, but she is 20 minutes late.

If you tell yourself, "She's late. I can't believe she's wasting my time like this. I have better things to do than to sit here and cool my heels," the feeling is one of anger.

If you tell yourself, "She's late. I wonder if she got into an accident. I hope she's okay," the feeling is worry.

If you tell yourself, "She's late. I've been so busy that it's so nice to have a few minutes to myself," the feeling is one of contentment.

Notice it's the same situation, but the interpretation of it drives three very different emotions.

Let's look at an example related to substance use: Suppose you learn that your son relapsed. Your thoughts about this situation might include:

"I can't believe he did this again. He promised he would stop doing drugs and now it's starting all over. How many times will we have to go through this? What if he never gets well? I just can't stand this anymore." Based upon what you have told yourself, you experience anger, frustration, fear and hopelessness.

In looking at the relapse somewhat differently, you could tell yourself, "I know that relapse is often part of the recovery process, and while I'm disappointed, it's a learning opportunity for both of us. We've been through this before and we'll get through this again." While you certainly feel concern and disappointment, there is also hope and a sense of resiliency. Again, it's the same situation, but your self-talk drives the emotions you experience.

Challenge Unhelpful Thinking.

Once you've named the emotions and examined the thoughts that led to them, it's helpful to challenge your thinking. Try asking yourself:

Am I over-generalizing? Is this really always true?

Will these thoughts help me solve my problem or reach my goals?

Is there evidence that supports the beliefs I have? Even if it's true, do I have to be as angry/upset/fearful as I am?

Can I think differently about this?

Who can help me think this through?

Am I caught up in worrying about the future (asking, "What if this or that happens?") instead of staying in the present moment?

Asking these questions can help soften your negative emotions and give you the freedom to breathe and think through things in a more useful way.

If you're having trouble challenging your negative thoughts, try imagining that your friend is feeling the way you feel. What advice would you give him or her? Now think how that advice might apply to you.

It's important to remember that this takes practice. At first, it might seem like you're just trying to sugar coat a bad situation, but if you truly reflect on these questions, you may find that things feel a little easier.

Breathe.

When negative thoughts are making you feel agitated and overwhelmed, take a deep breath, and then another. Practicing controlled breathing can help lower the stress response and calm your anxious thoughts.

Bottom line

These are just a few approaches to handling negative emotions. There are many others including distracting yourself with hobbies or work, exercising, meditating, prayer, progressive muscle relaxation, talking to a trusted friend and going to a support group meeting. Many parents have a great deal of difficulty letting go, especially at night. Listening to an audio book or a guided meditation can be helpful if this is the case for you.

You are not alone in experiencing negative thoughts and emotions. No matter what your thoughts are, undoubtedly other parents have had similar thoughts cross their minds. It's normal.

If you find yourself becoming depressed or extremely anxious, please seek out help from a mental health professional. It may be helpful to find a therapist who specializes in cognitive therapy, a type of therapy that teaches practical ways to cope with persistent and unwanted thoughts.

In the meantime, give yourself a break and try to have compassion and love for yourself.

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Coping with Fear, Anger and Other Negative Emotions

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"I feel trapped and worried and hurt and sad...and guilty for feeling the way I do." "How long will this lying go on? I love him but I don't trust him." "Sometimes I catch myself wondering if his death would just be easier. I hate myself for having thoughts like that.

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You know what it's like to be afraid of something, whether it be thunderstorms, a trip to the dentist, a stranger at your door, or losing someone dear to you. Fear is a normal reaction that warns our bodies to be careful. Anxiety is a type of fear, dealing more with worry and the future, rather than fearing something that is present.

When fear and anxiety become a pattern in our lives, they become a problem. If your plugged drain in the kitchen sink is a problem, do you ignore it? Of course not. You call a plumber or try to fix it yourself. When fearfulness causes harm to your physical and mental stability, and you find yourself avoiding things that might create more fear, don't ignore it. When anxiety becomes a debilitating thing that leaves you cowering and sick, don't try to push it away.

Learn how to overcome fear and anxiety.

The following 6 steps may be your ticket to getting rid of fear and anxiety disorders in your life.

Step 1: Learn More About Your Fear

This first step can be the hardest one, but it's also absolutely necessary. You can't overcome a fear that remains hidden in the dusty regions of your subconscious. You must face it. When you turn your face toward a person, you see that person and learn what he looks like and how he is acting. When you turn toward your fear (rather than away from it), you notice things about your fear that you didn't know before. This awareness helps you overcome it.

To help yourself face your fears and anxiety, try keeping a journal over a period of two or three weeks. Record any patterns you notice. Do your hands turn clammy and your stomach clenches when you hear the doorbell? Do you experience more symptoms of anxiety in the morning or the evening? What do you tend to do when your fears arise? Jot down anything that seems significant. Transferring your fear patterns and symptoms into writing can help demystify them. They are no longer so big and insurmountable.

Most importantly, learning all about your fear gives you an idea of how to counter it.

Step 2: Use your Imagination in Positive Ways

An imagination is a wonderful thing. It gives you power, creativity, and the ability to think outside the box. Unfortunately, an active imagination can be a harmful tool when it causes you to think about negative things. Your imagination can magnify your fears, making your situation seem much worse than it actually is.

Instead of letting your imagination lead you down the dark corridors of fear, purposely use it for overcoming fear.

How do you do that? Pick a calm moment when you are relaxed and not anxious. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a situation that normally causes fear. For instance, if you are afraid of being lost in a crowded building, picture yourself in a busy airport. Now, imagine yourself handling the situation peacefully. You don't freeze and begin to cry. Instead, you search for an information desk or a sign that will help you regain your sense of direction. You imagine yourself reaching the correct parking lot, unlocking your car door, and driving safely home without any bad incidents.

The peace you experienced in your imagined scenario can actually help you get through the actual ordeal more peacefully.

Step 3: Use Your Brain in a Different Way than Usual

Your fear and anxiety arise out of a certain part of your brain, and they allow emotion to overcome rational thought. When you feel your fearful symptoms coming forth, try to use a different part of your brain. Think about numbers, for instance. A nurse in the clinic might ask a patient to rate his pain on a scale of 1-10. Use this scale for your anxiety. How anxious are you when 1 is perfectly calm and 10 is your very worst symptom? Stop and analyze. Do you rate your fear at 7? Very good. You can work on lowering that to a 4 or a 3. Try using the next step to lower your fear rating.

Step 4: Focus on Your Breathing

Breathing is more important than you think. Usually, anxiety begins with short breaths. The short breaths cause a number of negative reactions in your body which quickly become an anxiety attack. The key to overcoming those fast outbreaks of anxiety is to control your breathing.

Fortunately, deep breathing is not complicated. Once you have recognized that you are becoming fearful, stop and focus on your breathing. Take a breath in, and then slowly let it out. Make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale. This isn't just some psychological trick; deep breathing forces your body to physically calm itself.

Step 5: Practice Mindfulness

You've heard about mindfulness, but what exactly is it? Mindfulness is a passive thinking activity that allows you to become more aware of your fear. As you learned in Step 1, awareness helps you overcome your fear and anxiety.

Practice these mindfulness tips during some of your less severe times of fear and anxiety. When you recognize your fear symptoms arising, sit down and think about what is happening to you. This is like making a mental journal entry. Observe the symptoms as they arise. Don't do anything about it. Just sit and keep track of yourself as the moment continues. Being passive raises your self-awareness, and it prevents you from doing the typical things you do when you experience fear. It helps get you out of a rut.

Step 6: Use Nature as Your Therapist

Talking to a therapist is an excellent way to work through your fears and anxiety. However, you can't always be at your therapist's office. Try going for a walk outside instead! Natural beauty found in parks, backyards, or wherever something green is growing does help reduce symptoms of fear and anxiety. Nature calms people, reducing stress levels and changing moods from anxious to relaxed. Plus, the physical activity of walking or jogging outdoors requires us to use our brains differently, which can cause a switch from irrational fearful thoughts to clearer thinking that can help overcome the fear.

Would you like to know more? Our counselors at Real Life Counseling can provide real help for your fear and anxiety problems. Please contact us to learn more.

Sources:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/overcome-fear-anxiety

http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcome-fear-and-anxiety/

https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/security/facing-fear/how-deal-chronic-fear-and-anxiety

https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/fear

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6 Strategies to Overcome Fear and Anxiety

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You know what it's like to be afraid of something, whether it be thunderstorms, a trip to the dentist, a stranger at your door, or losing someone dear to you. Fear is a normal reaction that warns our bodies to be careful.

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How to Help Children Manage Fears - Child Mind Institute

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Teaching your children how to manage fears without parental intervention will help them build confidence and independence so they feel more in control and less afraid. Advice from the Child Mind Institute on how to support kids as they learn to face fears.

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Everybody is afraid of something. That's what more than 1,700 kids told us when we asked them about fears and scary stuff. Some don't like the dark. Others hate nightmares and scary movies. And then there are those who want to run away from mean dogs, snakes, and creepy crawly spiders.

Tommy, 11, fears the dark because he worries that someone might break into his house.

Madison, 10, is afraid of shots (immunizations) and was once teased because she said she was afraid of thunderstorms. "I tried to take my words back, but they knew anyway. I was really embarrassed," she said.

The Top Fears

We gave kids a list of 14 scary things and asked which one frightened them the most. Here are the top 5 answers from our survey:

1. scary movies and TV shows

2. nightmares and scary dreams

3. thunderstorms, hurricanes, and other violent weather

4. sounds I hear at night

But not everyone is afraid of the same things. And what makes one person scared can be no big deal for someone else. Plenty of kids said their biggest fear wasn't on our list.

Rachel, 11, was one of them. She's most afraid of giant jellyfish that live off the coast of Australia. "I would like to get over them because they're bigger than people and they have huge stingers that can kill someone in 3 seconds," Rachel said.

Kate, 9, wishes she could get over her "whole back-flip problem. I never do it when I know I can. I am scared I will hurt myself," she said.

A couple kids said funerals scared them. Fireworks frightened other kids. Even going alone to a big bathroom - like the kind in school or at the mall - can be scary, according to a few kids.

Health-related matters can be scary, some kids said. In addition to getting shots, they said they were scared of throwing up, wetting the bed, or getting fat.

Morgan wishes she would stop being afraid to ride roller coasters. Why? "Because hey, I'm 9 years old, and my whole family loves them." And not just that, Morgan said. "My best friend Kerri said that I was weird for not liking so many things that are fun."

What's Fear Anyway?

Fear is a feeling that everyone has - it's programmed into all of us - and that's a good thing because fear is there to protect us. We're born with a sense of fear so we can react to something that could be dangerous.

Babies cry when they're afraid, even if that loud noise that startled them is just an older brother banging pots and pans in the kitchen. The baby cries, and mom comes over to soothe him or her, helping the baby feel safe and OK again. There, that's better! Now, with the help of mom, the baby has just experienced calming down after feeling afraid - something that every person needs to learn as they grow up. (Nice job, baby!) Bigger kids hear that loud clanging and say, "No big deal. It's just my brother making noise again."

Real vs. Pretend

The best way to get over a fear is to get more information about it. As kids get older, they understand more and start seeing the difference between real and pretend. So when William's imagination leads him to think of witches and werewolves, he can tell himself, "Wait a minute. They're only pretend. I don't need to worry about them."

The same goes for the dark. A kid's imagination can start playing tricks when the lights go out. What's under my bed? Is that a burglar I hear? With the help of a parent, kids can get more comfortable in the dark. Using a nightlight or shining a flashlight under the bed to see that there's nothing there can help fight that fear.

You might say, but burglars can be real, what then? True, but you can feel safer knowing that the door is locked and a parent is nearby to keep an eye out for any problems. In other words, get snuggled in and get some sleep!

When Fears Are OK

Other fears that kids have make sense and do not need to be conquered. If you're afraid to ride your bike on a busy highway, right on! You should be afraid because it's dangerous. There's no need to get over a fear like that, not even if someone dares you. Find a safe place to ride instead.

It's also OK for Rachel to be afraid of that big jellyfish in Australia because it's truly dangerous. But she doesn't have to be afraid of it all the time - or even every time she swims. It lives only in certain ocean waters. So when she's not swimming in one of them, no worries about the big jellyfish.

And it's OK for Kate to be a little fearful about doing the back-flip, because she could get hurt. But Kate also can create safer conditions for trying her back-flip, like having a parent or coach teach her how to do it and help her do it. Eventually, she will feel ready to try it alone.

Twelve-year-old Nick knows how taking small steps can lead to success. He used to be afraid to play his trumpet in front of people. But over time, he played in front of larger and larger groups. "First, I just played in front of my mom, then my family, then my classmates, then the whole school!" he said.

What to Do?

Sometimes the worst thing about feeling afraid is that you don't know what to do. Here are the top 3 ways that kids who answered our survey try to help themselves feel better:

1. Do something, like playing outside, listening to music, or watching TV.

2. Talk to a parent.

3. Talk to a friend.

Talking to a friend can help, especially if that person is supportive. About half the kids who took our survey said they'd been teased for being afraid. And even more - 75% - said they've sometimes said they weren't afraid when they really were. So no teasing allowed. Encourage your friend today and maybe he or she will encourage you tomorrow!

Here's some very supportive advice kids had for other kids:

If you get scared at night, Monique, 10, suggests listening to the radio when you're falling asleep. And Naruto, also 10, recommends writing or drawing what you're afraid of and then ripping it to pieces. Eight-year-old Jessica finds that it helps to take a deep breath when you're scared.

Amanda, 10, thinks kids should talk with a parent or school counselor. "They will invent a way to help you get over it," she said.

Bethany, 9, wants kids to hang tough, so we'll let her have the last word: "Try, try again and never give up," she said. "You're not alone!"

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Everybody is afraid of something. That's what more than 1,700 kids told us when we asked them about fears and scary stuff. Some don't like the dark. Others hate nightmares and scary movies. And then there are those who want to run away from mean dogs, snakes, and creepy crawly spiders.

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The roller coaster hesitates for a split second at the peak of its steep track after a long, slow climb. You know what's about to happen - and there's no way to avoid it now. It's time to hang onto the handrail, palms sweating, heart racing, and brace yourself for the wild ride down.

What Is Fear?

Fear is one of the most basic human emotions. It is programmed into the nervous system and works like an instinct. From the time we're infants, we are equipped with the survival instincts necessary to respond with fear when we sense danger or feel unsafe.

Fear helps protect us. It makes us alert to danger and prepares us to deal with it. Feeling afraid is very natural - and helpful - in some situations. Fear can be like a warning, a signal that cautions us to be careful.

Like all emotions, fear can be mild, medium, or intense, depending on the situation and the person. A feeling of fear can be brief or it can last longer.

How Fear Works

When we sense danger, the brain reacts instantly, sending signals that activate the nervous system. This causes physical responses, such as a faster heartbeat, rapid breathing, and an increase in blood pressure. Blood pumps to muscle groups to prepare the body for physical action (such as running or fighting). Skin sweats to keep the body cool. Some people might notice sensations in the stomach, head, chest, legs, or hands. These physical sensations of fear can be mild or strong.

This response is known as "fight or flight" because that is exactly what the body is preparing itself to do: fight off the danger or run fast to get away. The body stays in this state of fight-flight until the brain receives an "all clear" message and turns off the response.

Sometimes fear is triggered by something that is startling or unexpected (like a loud noise), even if it's not actually dangerous. That's because the fear reaction is activated instantly - a few seconds faster than the thinking part of the brain can process or evaluate what's happening. As soon as the brain gets enough information to realize there's no danger ("Oh, it's just a balloon bursting - whew!"), it turns off the fear reaction. All this can happen in seconds.

Fears People Have

Fear is the word we use to describe our emotional reaction to something that seems dangerous. But the word "fear" is used in another way, too: to name something a person often feels afraid of.

People fear things or situations that make them feel unsafe or unsure. For instance, someone who isn't a strong swimmer might have a fear of deep water. In this case, the fear is helpful because it cautions the person to stay safe. Someone could overcome this fear by learning how to swim safely.

A fear can be healthy if it cautions a person to stay safe around something that could be dangerous. But sometimes a fear is unnecessary and causes more caution than the situation calls for.

Many people have a fear of public speaking. Whether it's giving a report in class, speaking at an assembly, or reciting lines in the school play, speaking in front of others is one of the most common fears people have.

People tend to avoid the situations or things they fear. But this doesn't help them overcome fear - in fact, it can be the reverse. Avoiding something scary reinforces a fear and keeps it strong.

People can overcome unnecessary fears by giving themselves the chance to learn about and gradually get used to the thing or situation they're afraid of. For example, people who fly despite a fear of flying can become used to unfamiliar sensations like takeoff or turbulence. They learn what to expect and have a chance to watch what others do to relax and enjoy the flight. Gradually (and safely) facing fear helps someone overcome it.

Fears During Childhood

Certain fears are normal during childhood. That's because fear can be a natural reaction to feeling unsure and vulnerable - and much of what children experience is new and unfamiliar.

Young kids often have fears of the dark, being alone, strangers, and monsters or other scary imaginary creatures. School-aged kids might be afraid when it's stormy or at a first sleepover. As they grow and learn, with the support of adults, most kids are able to slowly conquer these fears and outgrow them.

Some kids are more sensitive to fears and may have a tough time overcoming them. When fears last beyond the expected age, it might be a sign that someone is overly fearful, worried, or anxious. People whose fears are too intense or last too long might need help and support to overcome them.

Phobias

A phobia is an intense fear reaction to a particular thing or a situation. With a phobia, the fear is out of proportion to the potential danger. But to the person with the phobia, the danger feels real because the fear is so very strong.

Phobias cause people to worry about, dread, feel upset by, and avoid the things or situations they fear because the physical sensations of fear can be so intense. So having a phobia can interfere with normal activities. A person with a phobia of dogs might feel afraid to walk to school in case he or she sees a dog on the way. Someone with an elevator phobia might avoid a field trip if it involves going on an elevator.

A girl with a phobia of thunderstorms might be afraid to go to school if the weather forecast predicts a storm. She might feel terrible distress and fear when the sky turns cloudy. A guy with social phobia experiences intense fear of public speaking or interacting, and may be afraid to answer questions in class, give a report, or speak to classmates in the lunchroom.

It can be exhausting and upsetting to feel the intense fear that goes with having a phobia. It can be disappointing to miss out on opportunities because fear is holding you back. And it can be confusing and embarrassing to feel afraid of things that others seem to have no problem with.

Sometimes, people get teased about their fears. Even if the person doing the teasing doesn't mean to be unkind and unfair, teasing only makes the situation worse.

What Causes Phobias?

Some phobias develop when someone has a scary experience with a particular thing or situation. A tiny brain structure called the amygdala (pronounced: uh-MIG-duh-luh) keeps track of experiences that trigger strong emotions. Once a certain thing or situation triggers a strong fear reaction, the amygdala warns the person by triggering a fear reaction every time he or she encounters (or even thinks about) that thing or situation.

Someone might develop a bee phobia after being stung during a particularly scary situation. For that person, looking at a photograph of a bee, seeing a bee from a distance, or even walking near flowers where there could be a bee can all trigger the phobia.

Sometimes, though, there may be no single event that causes a particular phobia. Some people may be more sensitive to fears because of personality traits they are born with, certain genes they've inherited, or situations they've experienced. People who have had strong childhood fears or anxiety may be more likely to have one or more phobias.

Having a phobia isn't a sign of weakness or immaturity. It's a response the brain has learned in an attempt to protect the person. It's as if the brain's alert system triggers a false alarm, generating intense fear that is out of proportion to the situation. Because the fear signal is so intense, the person is convinced the danger is greater than it actually is.

Overcoming Phobias

People can learn to overcome phobias by gradually facing their fears. This is not easy at first. It takes willingness and bravery. Sometimes people need the help of a therapist to guide them through the process.

Overcoming a phobia usually starts with making a long list of the person's fears in least-to-worst order. For example, with a dog phobia, the list might start with the things the person is least afraid of, such as looking at a photo of a dog. It will then work all the way up to worst fears, such as standing next to someone who's petting a dog, petting a dog on a leash, and walking a dog.

Gradually, and with support, the person tries each fear situation on the list - one at a time, starting with the least fear. The person isn't forced to do anything and works on each fear until he or she feels comfortable, taking as long as needed.

A therapist could also show someone with a dog phobia how to approach, pet, and walk a dog, and help the person to try it, too. The person may expect terrible things to happen when near a dog. Talking about this can help, too. When people find that what they fear doesn't actually turn out to be true, it can be a great relief.

A therapist might also teach relaxation practices such as specific ways of breathing, muscle relaxation training, or soothing self-talk. These can help people feel comfortable and bold enough to face the fears on their list.

As somebody gets used to a feared object or situation, the brain adjusts how it responds and the phobia is overcome.

Often, the hardest part of overcoming a phobia is getting started. Once a person decides to go for it - and gets the right coaching and support - it can be surprising how quickly fear can melt away.

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The roller coaster hesitates for a split second at the peak of its steep track after a long, slow climb. You know what's about to happen - and there's no way to avoid it now. It's time to hang onto the handrail, palms sweating, heart racing, and brace yourself for the wild ride down.

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Is it Normal for Kids to Have Fears?

It's normal for children to feel afraid at times. Fear is an emotion that can help kids be cautious. Things that are new, big, loud, or different can seem scary at first. Parents can help kids feel safe and learn to feel at ease.

What Do Kids Feel Afraid of?

What kids feel afraid of changes as they grow. Some fears are common and normal at certain ages.

For example:

Infants feel stranger anxiety. When babies are about 8-9 months old, they can recognize the faces of people they know. That's why new faces can seem scary to them - even a new babysitter or relative. They may cry or cling to a parent to feel safe.

Toddlers feel separation anxiety. At some time between 10 months and 2 years, many toddlers start to fear being apart from a parent. They don't want a parent to leave them at daycare, or at bedtime. They may cry, cling, and try to stay near their parent.

Young kids fear "pretend" things. Kids ages 4 through 6 can imagine and pretend. But they can't always tell what's real and what's not. To them, the scary monsters they imagine seem real. They fear what might be under their bed or in the closet. Many are afraid of the dark and at bedtime. Some are afraid of scary dreams. Young kids may also be afraid of loud noises, like thunder or fireworks.

Older kids fear real-life dangers. When kids are 7 or older, monsters under the bed can't scare them (much) because they know they're not real. At this age, some kids begin to fear things that could happen in real life. They may have a fear that a "bad guy" is in the house. They may feel afraid about natural disasters they hear about. They may fear getting hurt or that a loved one could die. Schoolage kids may also feel anxious about schoolwork, grades, or fitting in with friends.

Preteens and teens may have social fears. They might feel anxious about how they look or whether they will fit in. They may feel anxious or afraid before they give a report in class, start a new school, take a big exam, or play in a big game.

How Can I Help When My Child Is Afraid?

When your child is afraid, you can help by doing these things:

Comfort your infant, toddler, or very young child by saying, "It's OK, you're safe, I'm here." Let your child know you're there to protect them. Give hugs and soothing words to help your child feel safe.

As your child grows, talk and listen. Be calm and soothing. Help your child put feelings into words. Help kids try new things.

Help your baby get used to a new person while you hold him and let him feel safe. Soon, the new person won't seem like a stranger anymore.

Let your toddler be apart from you for short times at first. When you need to part from your child, say you'll be back, give a hug and a smile, and go. Let your child learn that you always come back.

For your young child who's afraid of the dark, have a soothing bedtime routine. Read or sing to your child. Let your child feel safe and loved.

Help your child slowly face fears. For example, check together for under-bed monsters. With you there to support her, let your child see for herself there's nothing to fear. Help her feel her courage.

Limit the scary images, movies, or shows kids see. These can cause fears.

Help kids and teens learn to prepare for challenges, like tests or class reports. Let them know you believe in them.

Is My Child's Fear Normal, or Do We Need More Help?

Most kids cope with normal fears with gentle support from their parent. As they grow, they get over fears they had at a younger age.

Some kids have a harder time, and need more help with fears. If fears are extreme or keep a child from doing normal things, it might be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Talk to your doctor if your child's fears:

seem extreme or last past the normal age

cause your child to be very upset or have tantrums

keep your child from doing things - like going to school, sleeping alone, or being apart from you

cause physical symptoms (like stomachaches, headaches, or a racing heart) or your child feels breathless, dizzy, or sick

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It's normal for children to feel afraid at times. Fear is an emotion that can help kids be cautious. Things that are new, big, loud, or different can seem scary at first. Parents can help kids feel safe and learn to feel at ease. What kids feel afraid of changes as they grow.

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Be Afraid! The Silent Role of Fear in Decision Making

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Fear is the brain’s warning system about forthcoming unpleasant experiences. Find out how you can use fears to design engaging (and possibly more ethical) products.

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Anxiety And Fear: What's The Difference?

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You might have noticed that fear and anxiety evoke several similar physical experiences. That's why they are hard to discern.

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Fear is a natural human emotion, and it is something that everyone experiences in their lifetime. What matters most is how you fight your fears, and whether you let them affect your life.

You may not call your feeling 'fear'. You might call it stress, worry or panic, but often, when we use these words, we are talking about the same emotion.

When you feel fear, you can experience three types of symptoms:

1. Unhelpful thoughts, such as thinking everyone in the room is having critical thoughts about you, or that something bad will happen.

2. Physical symptoms, such as a rapid heartbeat, faster breathing, sweating and higher blood pressure (your body's 'fight or flight' response).

3. Changes in your behaviour, ranging from simple things such as avoiding a fun activity, to more serious issues like being afraid to leave your home.

The good news is there are lots of ways to help manage your fears. And lots of places to find help. Let's start by exploring the differences between healthy and unhealthy fears.

The difference between healthy and unhealthy fears

Fear is programmed into your nervous system, and it works, instinctively, from when you are a baby. It gives you the survival instincts you need to keep yourself safe when you feel like you are in danger.

Some fears are healthy. If you see a poisonous snake in your back yard, and your fear prompts you to run back into the house and close the door, that is a healthy fear. The feeling of fear is natural and helps keep you safe.

But other fears are unhealthy and unnecessary. Sometimes, your fear makes you more cautious than you really need to be. For example, the fear of meeting new people. It may be intimidating, but meeting new people does not pose any real threat to your safety. This fear is unhealthy because it stops you doing things you might otherwise enjoy.

Fear, anxiety or phobia?

Feelings of fear, worry or stress can be upsetting, but they usually pass when the cause of your stress is gone. You won't need too much help fighting your fears here, because they don't last long.

Anxiety is a more serious condition. It is common to be anxious in a high pressure situation; for example, before you make a speech or sit an exam. You might also experience anxiety after a stressful event, such as an accident.

An anxiety disorder is different, because those anxious feelings are there even when there is no obvious cause.

If you experience feelings of anxiety that are severe or happen often, or if they affect your day-to-day life, you could talk to your GP. You might have an anxiety disorder. Many people suffer from anxiety for years before seeking help, but your GP can discuss a variety of treatment options with you if you've had these feelings for a month or more.

A phobia is an irrational fear of a certain object or situation. Someone with a phobia can experience intense anxiety when they are exposed to this particular object or situation - or sometimes if they just think about it.

Common phobias include:

flying

leaving familiar environments

enclosed spaces

spiders and other animals

injections.

Managing your fears, anxiety and phobias

There are several ways you can try to fight your fears. If you have mild symptoms, your GP might suggest you try changing your lifestyle first. Simple changes, like exercising regularly, can reduce your stress levels. So can eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep, and reducing or avoiding stimulants like caffeine and alcohol.

If your symptoms are more serious, your GP may suggest seeing a therapist for treatment such as cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). CBT is a type of psychological therapy that can help you to change unhelpful thoughts and behaviours that contribute to your anxiety.

CBT involves working with a therapist to look at your patterns of thinking (cognition) and acting (behaviour) that are making you more likely to have problems with anxiety, or are keeping you from improving once you feel anxious.

When you recognise those patterns, you can make changes to replace unhelpful patterns with new ones that help reduce your anxiety and help you to cope. CBT is a common treatment for anxiety disorders.

Strategies you might employ with your therapist as part of CBT include:

problem solving

exposure therapy (learning to fight your fear of something by understanding it and gradually being exposed to it, in a safe environment)

cognitive restructuring (learning to recognise your negative thoughts, dispute them, and think of more helpful ways to respond to a situation)

mindfulness (focusing on the present moment - acknowledging and accepting your thoughts, feelings, and the physical sensations of your body, without labelling them as good or bad)

relaxation.

E-therapies (also known as online therapies or computer-aided psychological therapy) can be an effective option for people with mild to moderate anxiety. Most e-therapies follow the same principles as CBT or behaviour therapy. They teach you how to identify and change patterns of thinking and behaviour that contribute to anxiety or stop you from overcoming your anxiety.

You can work through an e-therapy program yourself, although many provide some kind of support - via the telephone, email, text or instant messaging. E-therapies are easy to access and can be done from home. And you don't have to visit a doctor first. The Australian Government's mindhealthconnect website has a library of online programs.These strategies are useful if you have a specific fear or phobia too.

You can also use exposure therapy, where you learn to fight a fear by giving yourself the chance to learn about, and gradually get used to, whatever it is that you are afraid of.

Some people find it useful to develop a fear ladder - identify your fear, set a goal and then work out the incremental steps to achieve it. For example, if you are afraid of flying, your fear ladder could look like this:

1. Look at photographs of aeroplanes.

2. Watch videos of aeroplanes.

3. Visit the airport with your partner or a friend.

4. Visit the airport by yourself.

5. Sit in a plane simulator with your partner or a friend.

6. Sit in a plane simulator by yourself.

7. Take part in a simulated plane trip with your partner or a friend.

8. Take part in a simulated plane trip on your own.

9. Take a short flight with your partner or a friend.

10. Take a short flight on your own.

Whatever your fear, anxiety or phobia, there is always help at hand. Your GP can help you get started on a treatment plan to fight your fears.

Where to get help

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Fear is a natural human emotion, and it is something that everyone experiences in their lifetime. What matters most is how you fight your fears, and whether you let them affect your life. You may not call your feeling 'fear'.

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Fear is a normal and healthy part of life. In fact, fear plays an important role in keeping us from entering harmful situations and helping us decide when to get out of situations that are not necessarily the best.﻿﻿

Under normal circumstances, fear can be managed through reason and logic. It does not take over our lives or cause us to become irrational.

A phobia, however, twists the normal fear response into something that is persistent and difficult or impossible to control.﻿﻿

Normal Response to Fear

It is easy to become afraid of almost anything. Fear is generally, although not always, based on a negative experience with the object or circumstance in question. For example, if you were attacked by a dog as a child, you may still be afraid of dogs today. Sometimes fear is learned from someone else, such as a child who has a fear of spiders because of her mother's reactions.﻿﻿

Whatever the object of fear, you may become distressed or uncomfortable when you confront that object. If you are afraid of flying, for example, you may become jittery or anxious when you board an airplane. You may self-medicate, perhaps by indulging in a preflight drink, but you are able to manage your symptoms and get on with your life. You may prefer to travel by car or train but will fly when it is necessary or practical.

Phobic Response

If you have a diagnosable phobia of a specific object or situation, your response will be more extreme.﻿﻿ Using the fear of flying example, if you are able to board the plane at all, you will sweat, shake, cry, or have other serious physiological responses. You will likely be miserable during the entire flight, as every bit of turbulence renews your panic.

If your phobia is more severe, you will simply be unable to board a flight at all. You will go far out of your way to avoid flying-even canceling vacations or business trips if there is no alternate form of transportation. You may be unable to even visit an airport to drop off or pick up a friend. You may even become anxious when planes fly overhead.

Consider the Source

Besides the severity of your fear, it is important to consider its source. If you have a simple fear, you will not spend much time thinking about that fear. It will only affect you when you are forced to confront it, such as actually boarding a plane.

If you have a phobia, though, you are likely to develop a fear of fear itself.﻿﻿ You may begin to worry that something will happen to trigger your fear. You may start to change your daily routine in an effort to avoid any possible triggers.﻿﻿ If you know that you have an upcoming confrontation with the object of your fear, you will likely dwell on it, perhaps obsessively. You may have trouble sleeping or focusing on important tasks, particularly as the day of confrontation draws closer.﻿﻿

Getting Help

Phobias are highly individualized in symptoms and severity and cannot be self-diagnosed. The above are a few guidelines to help you decide whether to seek help, but it is important to realize that your symptoms may vary from those listed here.

If you believe that you may have a phobia, it is very important to see a mental health professional right away. They will provide an accurate diagnosis and develop a treatment plan that is right for you.﻿﻿

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How to Tell the Difference Between a Fear and a Phobia

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Fear is a normal and healthy part of life. In fact, fear plays an important role in keeping us from entering harmful situations and helping us decide when to get out of situations that are not necessarily the best.﻿﻿ Under normal circumstances, fear can be managed through reason and logic.

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Fear is a primal emotion that provokes a physiological and emotional response. Learn the signs of fear, what causes it, and how you can cope with this emotion.

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At the 2017 Neuroscience Education Institute (NEI) Congress, a Friday session focused on the physiology of fear and its impact on wellness.

"Fear is a feeling that is internal and is conscience," said Mary D. Moller, PhD, DNP, ARNP, PMHCNS-BC, CPRP, FAAN, associate professor, Pacific Lutheran University School of Nursing, and director of Psychiatric Services, Northwest Center for Integrated Health.

It arises when sensory systems in the brain have determined an external stimulus poses a threat. Outputs of threat detection circuits trigger a general increase in brain arousal and can result in altered threat processing: fear and anxiety disorders.

Moller first explained Hans Selye's 3 predictable stages the body uses to respond to stressors, called the general adaption syndrome:

1. Alarm: The first reaction to stress recognizes there's a danger and prepares to deal with the threat. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and autonomic nervous system are activated. Primary stress hormones cortisol, adrenaline, and nonadrenaline are released

2. Resistance: Homeostasis begins restoring balance and a period of recovery for repair and renewal takes place. Stress hormones may return to normal, but there may be reduced defenses and adaptive energy left.

3. Exhaustion: At this phase, the stress has continued for some time. The body's ability to resist is lost because its adaption energy supply is gone. This is often referred to as overload, burnout, adrenal fatigue, maladaptation, or dysfunction.

Alterations to the HPA axis can cause several conditions such as chronic pain, fibromyalgia, and insulin resistance, said Moller.

Moller then outlined the potential consequences of fear on overall, physical, emotional, environmental, and spiritual health. The potential effects of chronic fear on overall health include:

Immune system dysfunction

Endocrine system dysfunction

Autonomic nervous system alterations

Sleep/wake cycle disruption

Eating disorders

Alterations in hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis

The potential effects of chronic fear on physical health include headaches turning into migraines, muscle aches turning into fibromyalgia, body aches turning into chronic pain, and difficulty breathing turning into asthma, said Moller.

The potential effects of chronic fear on emotional health include:

The potential consequences of chronic fear on environmental health include:

Continued living in fear-generating situations due to uncertainty of moving out and unknown associated dangers

Not able to find safe housing

Afraid to leave home because of paranoia

The potential consequences of chronic fear on spiritual health:

Bitterness/fear toward God or others

Confusion/disgust with God or religion

Loss of trust in God and/or clergy

Waiting for God to fix it

Despair related to perceived loss of spirituality

Lastly, Moller explained that fear affects the ability to learn.

"The brain's capacity to retrieve previous learning is dependent on specific chemical states," said Moller. "Chemical alterations can distort perception of sensory information thus distorting storage."

When the brain is hyper aroused, storage may be incomplete and new information will be stored in nonverbal memory, said Moller. This distorts the storage of sensory input and the retrieval of information will be affected.

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The Effects of Chronic Fear on a Person's Health

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At the 2017 Neuroscience Education Institute (NEI) Congress, a Friday session focused on the physiology of fear and its impact on wellness. It was presented by Mary D. Moller, PhD, DNP, ARNP, PMHCNS-BC, CPRP, FAAN, associate professor, Pacific Lutheran University School of Nursing, and director of Psychiatric Services, Northwest Center for Integrated Health.

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Fear and anxiety often occur together, but these terms are not interchangeable. Even though symptoms commonly overlap, a person's experience with these emotions differs based on their context. Fear relates to a known or understood threat, whereas anxiety follows from an unknown, expected, or poorly defined threat.﻿﻿

Fear and anxiety both produce a similar stress response. But many experts believe that there are important differences between the two. These differences can account for how we react to various stressors in our environment.﻿﻿

Muscle tension, increased heart rate, and shortness of breath mark the most significant physiological symptoms associated with a response to danger. These bodily changes result from an inborn fight-or-flight stress response thought to be necessary for our survival.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a diffuse, unpleasant, vague sense of apprehension.﻿﻿ It's often a response to an imprecise or unknown threat such as the uneasiness you might feel walking down a dark street alone.

Your uneasiness in this situation would be caused by anxiety related to the possibility of something bad happening, such as being harmed by a stranger, rather than an immediate threat. This anxiety stems from your mind's interpretation of the possible dangers.

Anxiety is often accompanied by many uncomfortable somatic (physical) sensations. Some of the most common physical symptoms of anxiety include:﻿﻿

Accelerated heart rate

Chest pain

Cold chills or hot flushes

Depersonalization and derealization

Dizziness or feeling faint

Excessive sweating

Feeling like you're going insane

Muscle pain and tension

Numbness or tingling

Ringing or pulsing in ears

Shaking and trembling

Shortness of breath

Sleep disturbances

Tightness felt throughout the body, especially in the head, neck, jaw, and face

Upset stomach or nausea

What Is Fear?

Fear is an emotional response to a known or definite threat. If you're walking down a dark street, for example, and someone points a gun at you and says, "This is a robbery," then you'd likely experience a fear response. The danger is real, definite, and immediate. There's a clear and present object of the fear.﻿﻿

Although the focus of the response is different (real vs. imagined danger), fear and anxiety are interrelated. When faced with fear, most people will experience the physical reactions that are described under anxiety. Fear can cause anxiety, and anxiety can cause fear. But the subtle distinctions between the two give you a better understanding of your symptoms and may be important for treatment strategies.

Getting Help for Fear and Anxiety

Fear and anxiety are associated with many mental health conditions. These feelings of most often linked to anxiety disorders, such as specific phobias, agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder.

Approximately 20% of U.S. adults experience symptoms of an anxiety disorder during any given year, and women tend to experience these symptoms more often than men. Because of this, experts now recommend that all women over the age of 13 should be screened for anxiety conditions.﻿﻿ If you are having symptoms of fear and anxiety that have become unmanageable, make an appointment with your doctor.

Your doctor will consider your current symptoms and your medical history to help determine a possible cause of your fear and anxiety.﻿﻿ From there, expect your doctor to make a diagnosis or refer you to a specialty treatment provider for further assessment. Once diagnosed, you can start on a treatment plan that can assist in reducing and controlling your fear and anxiety.

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Why Fear and Anxiety Are Different Despite Similar Responses

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Fear and anxiety often occur together, but these terms are not interchangeable. Even though symptoms commonly overlap, a person's experience with these emotions differs based on their context. Fear relates to a known or understood threat, whereas anxiety follows from an unknown, expected, or poorly defined threat.﻿﻿ Fear and anxiety both produce a similar stress response.

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Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing

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Fear | Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing

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Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing

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We deal with danger all the time in our lives, both real and perceived, though it shows up differently for all of us. The same environment can be safe for one person but present a threat to another. Just imagine a swimming pool for a swimmer and a non-swimmer; or two friends - one white, one Black - being pulled over by a police officer. Sometimes simply hearing about a threat - such as when we read about climate change in the news - can trigger debilitating fear.

In addition, the impact of real and perceived threats is often the same - meaning that we can experience the same heightened sense of fear whether there is a car barreling down the street toward us or we are watching a frightening movie.

The following techniques can help with many of the threats we deal with in our daily lives. (Obviously, life-threatening danger requires other immediate responses.)

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How to Work with Threats | Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing

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The following techniques can help with many of the threats we deal with in our daily lives. Obviously, life-threatening danger requires other immediate responses.Use fearFear is a universal human response to perceived threat. In other words, it's normal. In many situations, it can help you respond more quickly.

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Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing

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In this section we address things you can do on your own to work with fear and anxiety. We do not cover the many valuable techniques and therapies available when working with professional psychologists or other providers. These are essential for those who have experienced trauma or are suffering from intense fear or anxiety.

Avoid avoidance

The only way to deal with fear is to face it. Avoiding our fears only prevents us from moving forward-it makes us anxious. But be gentle with yourself and do only what feels safe to you! If you find yourself getting more panicky, take a break and find something pleasant or comforting to notice or do. If it feels safe later, you can try to explore your fear again, taking breaks as needed. If you find it difficult to address chronic fears or anxiety on your own, note that therapists can be invaluable in helping work through avoiding strategies. If you have experienced trauma, it is especially important to work with a therapist to create a safe environment where you can face your fear and reconstruct your memories.

If the fear or anxiety is milder, you can try mindfulness meditation Learn more about mindfulness techniques. All you need to do is sit quietly and observe the present moment. If fear or anxiety arises, recognize it. If you can, be curious. Observe the anxiety. Notice how it feels in your body. Notice any associated thoughts. See if you can observe it as it is; don't get involved in the story, or try to get rid of it or change it. And when you need, take a break and turn your attention to something neutral, like your breath or hands in your lap. Note that anytime you feel too agitated to be curious, it may be best to stop and open your eyes and notice objects in the room, or take a little walk.

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How to Deal with Fear and Anxiety | Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing

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In this section we address things you can do on your own to work with fear and anxiety. We do not cover the many valuable techniques and therapies available when working with professional psychologists or other providers. These are essential for those who have experienced trauma or are suffering from intense chronic fear or anxiety.

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Fear can protect us from harm, but it can also cause harm. When we feel constantly under threat - whether from our circumstances or unresolved trauma - we become vulnerable to developing mental health issues or experiencing a mental health crisis. So, how should we respond when we feel fear? Learning to let fear do its job of warning us of danger without letting it ferment into anxiety and depression is key.

The Role and Impact of Fear

We are always exposed to situations that cause us to be afraid: shootings, crime sprees, tragedies in war-torn areas, natural disasters, wildfires, political tensions, a life-threatening pandemic. Just about anything can cause us to become entrenched in fear and pessimistic about the future. For those who experience these situations firsthand, acute mental distress is often the result. For instance, a PLOS Medicine study showed that asylum seekers and refugees experience high rates of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.

But you don't have to be involved in frightening or life-threatening events to experience distress from them. Simply hearing or reading about them may be enough to generate fear. Our increased exposure to everything can impair our mental state if we aren't careful. But what if fear itself isn't actually the problem?

An interview with The Meadows' Chief Medical Officer Jon Caldwell, MD, on our Beyond Theory podcast discusses the role and impact of fear:

"Fear has this evolutionary function where it helps to alert us of possible dangers in our environment. It's a very potent emotion," says Dr. Caldwell. "What I've found really interesting is the way that fear can sometimes run amuck and really have a strong presence in our lives, to the point where it can control us."

It's only when we allow fear to escape its boundaries that we are hampered by it. In the right role, fear is indispensable to us; when it's pervasive or unprocessed, it can greatly inhibit us. That's because fear can precipitate anxiety.

The Relationship Between Fear and Anxiety

It's important to understand the relationship between fear and anxiety, especially if you have suffered from long-term or debilitating anxiety. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), anxiety results from "avoiding core emotions and needs." We may feel fear, and instead of being able to express or move through it, we suppress our emotions related to it, and it leads to anxiety.

Anxiety as a result of pushed-down fear is usually related to our past experiences. Maybe we were unable to escape danger in some situations. Maybe we were shamed for our fear. For whatever reason we are unable to express our fear-related emotions, suppression becomes our coping response.

But we must find ways to eventually deal with our fear or else risk having it run rampant in our minds and bodies later. When suppression becomes a pattern, we become susceptible to experiencing high levels of anxiety on a regular basis. High levels of anxiety can eventually lead to a mental health crisis and erode our ability to think clearly and be optimistic about our reality. This is how anxiety can lead to depression.

The Connection Between Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety are so closely linked that nearly half (45.7%) of all people with major depressive disorder have reported a co-occurring anxiety disorder, according to The American Journal of Psychiatry. The repeated suppression of our emotions, especially those related to fear, has a detrimental effect on our mental and physical state. In addition to dealing with psychosomatic pain and fatigue, we may experience feelings of worthlessness and become increasingly apathetic.

As we continue to suffer from our fear-related emotions without knowing how to deal with them, we may feel threatened by fear itself. Hopelessness can also develop as our environment consistently presents us with harmful or dangerous situations. At some point, our physical and psychological health begin to have a perpetually negative influence on each other. Thankfully, they can also have a positive impact on each other as well.

How to Deal with Fear

Though it sounds counterintuitive, leaning into fear can put it back into its rightful place. Instead of suppressing our emotions related to fear, we can notice and examine them without judgment to discern what they're trying to tell us. We can then process our emotions in healthy ways as we remind ourselves how we want to engage with the world. Fear does not have to control us.

Though it sounds counterintuitive, leaning into fear can put it back into its rightful place.

"We need to work with this wild monkey mind of ours, because it'll attach to the fear ... It'll pull us in," says Dr. Caldwell. "Yes, pay attention to the fear. Don't push it away, but just notice it. Start to really practice noticing, paying attention to when the fear comes up. And when it comes up, see if you can just let it be without having to change it, fix it, numb it, escape it."

What does it look like to lean into fear? Dr. Caldwell discusses the importance of reminding yourself of who you are and who you want to be. Fear does not have to derail you; you can simply acknowledge its signals and allow your emotions to come and go.

Some practices that enable us to move through our emotions may include going for a walk, praying, meditating, journaling, or engaging in movement through yoga or dance. Talking to a trusted friend or counselor can also be very helpful when fear seems overpowering. We all experience overwhelming emotions, but if we choose to embrace them instead of suppress or run from them, they no longer have power over us.

How to Get Help

If your fear has become unmanageable and you need professional help, we offer a range of programs and resources to help. Start your journey into recovery with us today.

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When Fear Causes Anxiety & Depression | The Meadows

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Fear can protect us from harm, but it can also cause harm. When we feel constantly under threat - whether from our circumstances or unresolved trauma - we become vulnerable to developing mental health issues or experiencing a mental health crisis. So, how should we respond when we feel fear?

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Introduction

Do you sometimes have sudden attacks of anxiety and overwhelming fear that last for several minutes? Maybe your heart pounds, you sweat, and you feel like you can't breathe or think. Do these attacks occur at unpredictable times with no obvious trigger, causing you to worry about the possibility of having another one at any time?

If so, you may have a type of anxiety disorder called panic disorder. Left untreated, panic disorder can lower your quality of life because it may lead to other fears and mental health disorders, problems at work or school, and social isolation.

What is it like to have panic disorder?
"One day, without any warning or reason, a feeling of terrible anxiety came crashing down on me. I felt like I couldn't get enough air, no matter how hard I breathed. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I thought I might die. I was sweating and felt dizzy. I felt like I had no control over these feelings and like I was drowning and couldn't think straight."After what seemed like an eternity, my breathing slowed and I eventually let go of the fear and my racing thoughts, but I was totally drained and exhausted. These attacks started to occur every couple of weeks, and I thought I was losing my mind. My friend saw how I was struggling and told me to call my doctor for help."
What is panic disorder?

People with panic disorder have sudden and repeated attacks of fear that last for several minutes or longer. These are called panic attacks. Panic attacks are characterized by a fear of disaster or of losing control even when there is no real danger. A person may also have a strong physical reaction during a panic attack. It may feel like having a heart attack. Panic attacks can occur at any time, and many people with panic disorder worry about and dread the possibility of having another attack.

A person with panic disorder may become discouraged and feel ashamed because he or she cannot carry out normal routines like going to school or work, going to the grocery store, or driving.

Panic disorder often begins in the late teens or early adulthood. More women than men have panic disorder. But not everyone who experiences panic attacks will develop panic disorder.

What causes panic disorder?

Panic disorder sometimes runs in families, but no one knows for sure why some family members have it while others don't. Researchers have found that several parts of the brain, as well as biological processes, play a key role in fear and anxiety. Some researchers think that people with panic disorder misinterpret harmless bodily sensations as threats. By learning more about how the brain and body functions in people with panic disorder, scientists may be able to create better treatments. Researchers are also looking for ways in which stress and environmental factors may play a role.

What are the signs and symptoms of panic disorder?

People with panic disorder may have:

Sudden and repeated panic attacks of overwhelming anxiety and fear

A feeling of being out of control, or a fear of death or impending doom during a panic attack

Physical symptoms during a panic attack, such as a pounding or racing heart, sweating, chills, trembling, breathing problems, weakness or dizziness, tingly or numb hands, chest pain, stomach pain, and nausea

An intense worry about when the next panic attack will happen

A fear or avoidance of places where panic attacks have occurred in the past

How is panic disorder treated?

First, talk to your doctor about your symptoms. Your doctor should do an exam and ask you about your health history to make sure that an unrelated physical problem is not causing your symptoms. Your doctor may refer to you a mental health specialist, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist.

Panic disorder is generally treated with psychotherapy, medication, or both. Talk with your doctor about the best treatment for you.

Psychotherapy. A type of psychotherapy called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is especially useful as a first-line treatment for panic disorder. CBT teaches you different ways of thinking, behaving, and reacting to the feelings that come on with a panic attack. The attacks can begin to disappear once you learn to react differently to the physical sensations of anxiety and fear that occur during panic attacks.
For more information on psychotherapy, see http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/psychotherapies.
Medication. Doctors also may prescribe different types of medications to help treat panic disorder:

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)

Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs)

Beta-blockers

Benzodiazepines

SSRIs and SNRIs are commonly used to treat depression, but they are also helpful for the symptoms of panic disorder. They may take several weeks to start working. These medications may also cause side-effects, such as headaches, nausea, or difficulty sleeping. These side effects are usually not severe for most people, especially if the dose starts off low and is increased slowly over time. Talk to your doctor about any side effects that you have.

Another type of medication called beta-blockers can help control some of the physical symptoms of panic disorder, such as rapid heart rate. Although doctors do not commonly prescribe beta-blockers for panic disorder, they may be helpful in certain situations that precede a panic attack.

Benzodiazepines, which are sedative medications, are powerfully effective in rapidly decreasing panic attack symptoms, but they can cause tolerance and dependence if you use them continuously. Therefore, your doctor will only prescribe them for brief periods of time if you need them.

Your doctor will work with you to find the best medication and dose for you.

For more information about these medications, see http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/mental-health-medications. Also check the Food and Drug Administration's website ( http://www.fda.gov/) for the latest information on warnings, patient medication guides, or newly approved medications.

Don't give up on treatment too quickly. Both psychotherapy and medication can take some time to work. A healthy lifestyle can also help combat panic disorder. Make sure to get enough sleep and exercise, eat a healthy diet, and turn to family and friends who you trust for support.

Finding Help

Mental Health Treatment Program Locator

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) provides this online resource for locating mental health treatment facilities and programs. The Mental Health Treatment Locator section of the Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator lists facilities providing mental health services to persons with mental illness. Find a facility in your state at https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/. For additional resources, visit www.nimh.nih.gov/findhelp.

Questions to Ask Your Doctor

Asking questions and providing information to your doctor or health care provider can improve your care. Talking with your doctor builds trust and leads to better results, quality, safety, and satisfaction. Visit the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality website for tips at http://www.ahrq.gov/patients-consumers/index.html.

Reprints

This publication is in the public domain and may be reproduced or copied without permission from NIMH. Citation of NIMH as a source is appreciated. We encourage you to reproduce it and use it in your efforts to improve public health. However, using government materials inappropriately can raise legal or ethical concerns, so we ask you to use these guidelines:

NIMH does not endorse or recommend any commercial products, processes, or services, and our publications may not be used for advertising or endorsement purposes.

NIMH does not provide specific medical advice or treatment recommendations or referrals; our materials may not be used in a manner that has the appearance of providing such information.

NIMH requests that non-Federal organizations not alter our publications in ways that will jeopardize the integrity and "brand" when using the publication.

The addition of non-Federal Government logos and website links may not have the appearance of NIMH endorsement of any specific commercial products or services, or medical treatments or services.

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If you have questions regarding these guidelines and use of NIMH publications, please contact the NIMH Information Resource Center at 1-866-615-6464 or e-mail nimhinfo@nih.gov.

For More Information

To learn more information about panic disorder, visit:

Medline Plus (National Library of Medicine) http://medlineplus.gov (En español: http://medlineplus.gov/spanish)

For information on clinical trials, visit:

ClinicalTrials.gov: http://www.clinicaltrials.gov (En español: http://salud.nih.gov/investigacion-clinica/)

For more information on conditions that affect mental health, resources, and research, visit the NIMH website ( http://www.nimh.nih.gov).

National Institute of Mental Health
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E-mail: nimhinfo@nih.gov
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U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH
AND HUMAN SERVICES
National Institutes of Health
National Institute of Mental Health

NIH Publication No. 19-MH-8077
Revised 2016

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Do you sometimes have sudden attacks of anxiety and overwhelming fear that last for several minutes? Maybe your heart pounds, you sweat, and you feel like you can't breathe or think. Do these attacks occur at unpredictable times with no obvious trigger, causing you to worry about the possibility of having another one at any time?