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Article from Cheng-Tsui-Blog

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(Personal ads are posted on umbrellas in the marriage market in Shanghai's People's Park. Image: Peiqi Teh/Shutterstock)
Have you ever been set up on a blind date by a parent? How about a grandparent? For many young, single Chinese people, it's an uncomfortable scenario that plays out again and again at China's so-called "marriage markets" (相亲角 xiāngqīn jiǎo).

Marriage markets--perhaps more accurately called "matchmaking corners," since no money is exchanged--are public spaces where parents (and sometimes grandparents) congregate to scout out potential spouses for their unmarried children. Many young Chinese people feel like they are too busy with school or work to date, while others simply haven't had success in the romance department. Sometimes, that's when their anxious parents take matters into their own hands.

Typically, parents post sheets of paper detailing their child's eligibility as a potential spouse and the qualities a prospective son- or daughter-in-law should have. They often tape these personal advertisements to umbrellas, which serve as makeshift stands. Then, they chat with other parents to arrange blind dates between their children, and hope that sparks fly. It's very rare to see anyone advertising him- or herself.

Though the whole idea might seem anachronistic, marriage markets are actually a relatively recent phenomenon. China's first and largest marriage market, held on Saturdays and Sundays in Shanghai's People's Park, arose organically in 2004 as older generations met in the park to socialize. When the conversation inevitably turned to their children's inability to find spouses, the marriage market was born. Now, marriage markets can be found in most major cities, and sometimes attract famous visitors.

So what makes someone a good catch?

Age

A 2018 survey (link in Chinese) of advertisements in the Shanghai Marriage Market showed that the vast majority of advertisements were for people aged 25-30. When stating their preferences for potential spouses, the majority of men were seeking younger women, while women preferred someone closer to their own age.

A severe gender imbalance--a byproduct of the now defunct one-child policy--is making it difficult for men to find wives. By 2020, an estimated 24 million Chinese men will be 光棍 (guānggùn, lit. "bare branches"), or bachelors. Despite this, most advertisements in the Shanghai Marriage Market were about women, which speaks to the deep anxiety felt by parents of unmarried daughters approaching the "ripe old age" of 30. Women who remain unmarried in their late twenties and beyond, often despite high incomes and educational attainment, are stigmatized as 剩女 (shèngnǚ, "leftover" women), and are even blamed for having overly high standards.

Zodiac Year & Astrological Sign

Curiously, it's not uncommon to see advertisements that list requirements relating to the Chinese zodiac year and Western astrological sign of potential partners. Traditionally, people born in different zodiac years were thought to possess certain personality characteristics that made them more or less compatible with those belonging to different animal signs. Even today, some Chinese people still consult both Chinese astrology for guidance in love and marriage, and Western astrology is becoming popular too.

Household Registration
(Personal ads for Shanghai natives living overseas in the United States and Canada. Image: Peiqi Teh/Shutterstock)
Just as important as a potential partner's birthdate is his or her birthplace--or rather, the location of his or her household registration (户口, hùkǒu). An urban hukou is considered more advantageous than a rural one, since it confers access to better social welfare benefits like education, housing benefits, and unemployment and medical subsidies. In major cities like Beijing and Shanghai, where obtaining a local hukou is extremely difficult, marriage can provide a shortcut, and any children resulting from the marriage can inherit either of their parents' hukou. Thus, urban hukou holders have a bit of a leg up in marriage markets.

Job & Education

Historically, the concept of 门当户对 (mén dāng hù duì) was an important principle for choosing a spouse--that is, matches between individuals from households of equal social and economic standing resulted in the best marriages. While parents no longer arrange marriages for their children in the traditional way, marriage is still very much a family affair as well as an individual matter in contemporary China, and the concept of being well-matched in terms of income and educational attainment is still given weight.

Job and education are two of the essential pieces of personal information every advertisement lists. The candidates in marriage markets are by no means desperate: the 2018 survey of the Shanghai Marriage Market found that the dating pool was highly educated, with two thirds of both men and women having attained a bachelor's degree or higher. Among those who stated an educational qualification for potential spouses, a majority of women were seeking a partner with a similar level of education, while men preferred slightly less accomplished partners.

But individual circumstances aren't the only thing that matters. Many advertisements explicitly list a preference for people with similar family backgrounds, and it's not uncommon for advertisements to list the white-collar occupations of one's parents.

Ownership of Significant Assets

In the minds of many Chinese people, a man should be able to provide a car and a house before getting married. In the face of skyrocketing housing prices and fierce competition for jobs, this places a heavy burden on young men, many of whom push off marriage until they have saved enough. Those who do own their own car and house are considered more desirable than those who don't, so marriage market advertisements often highlight asset ownership.

"Naked marriages" (裸婚, luǒhūn) are growing in popularity among younger generations. Unable to afford a car or house, many couples are choosing to get married anyway, often without a ceremony, in a rejection of what they view as outdated materialist values.

Appearance

While appearance is important, it isn't the deciding factor. Many advertisements don't include a photo, and those that do are often viewed with skepticism given the pervasiveness of photo-editing apps like Meitu.

Finding Love at the Marriage Market
(Not a millennial in sight. Image: Peiqi Teh/Shutterstock)
So how many blind dates arranged at marriage markets actually blossom into romance? It's hard to say. There isn't an official tally, but anecdotal evidence suggests successful matches are few and far between. Some parents advertise their children without their permission or knowledge, which, as you might imagine, does not always go over so well. And those couples who do meet and hit it off might not want to be open about where they met, just as many American couples feel embarrassed about meeting through a dating app.

Still, marriage markets do serve one very important purpose: letting parents vent their anxieties while singing the praises of their kids.

Want to learn more about love and family in contemporary China? Check out Reading into a New China.

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(Personal ads are posted on umbrellas in the marriage market in Shanghai's People's Park. Image: Peiqi Teh/Shutterstock) Have you ever been set up on a blind date by a parent? How about a grandparent? For many young, single Chinese people, it's an uncomfortable scenario that plays out again and again at China's so-called "marriage markets" (相亲角 xiāngqīn jiǎo).

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寫喜帖

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一般而言，喜帖公司提供現成的喜帖封面設計，而內文則由新人自己撰寫。 您當然可以發揮創意，撰寫一些幽默或動人的詞句，給親友留下深刻的印象，但如果您寧願採用傳統的格式和寫法，可參看以下資料 喜帖內容 1. 啟事語(「謹訂於」、「謹詹於」) 2. 舉行婚禮日期 3. 新郎、新娘名字 4. 舉行婚禮地點(「於」、「在」、「假座」之類) 5. 典禮名稱(結婚或訂婚) 6. 款待方式(「敬備」、「謹備」加「薄酌」、「茶點」之類，如時間與典禮不同，應先註明) 7. 邀請語(「恭請」、「敬請」、「敬希」、「恭候」、「台端」、「闔府」加「光臨」等) 8. 邀請者姓名 9. 附啟語(宴會開始及入席時間之類) 傳統中式喜帖內容應直行書寫，由右寫至左。 喜帖內容可以印英文、中文或兩種文字分別印在帖的左右兩頁。 1.承嚴命與承慈命 相信很多新人在撰寫喜帖內文時都有一個疑問，就是究竟在何時才需在喜帖內容或喜帖內文裡加入承嚴命與承慈命的字眼。其實，只要我們明白其中的原理，這一個承嚴命與承慈命的喜帖內容、喜帖內文問題是很容易可以解決的。 首先，我們必須明白，一般來說，喜帖/結婚請帖是以新人雙方的父母的名義發出的，而他們(理論上)是受命於自己的父母(即新人的祖父母)而發出喜帖 / 結婚請帖的。 這裡就是關鍵所在，所謂嚴父慈母， 所喜帖內容、喜帖內文裡的「承嚴命」和「承慈命」就是指受命於父親和母親的意思。要留意的是，這裡所指的父親和母親是新人父母的父親和母親，亦即是新人的祖父母。 所以簡單地說，喜帖內文的承嚴命和承慈命的用法應該是這樣的： 承嚴命：祖父健在 承慈命：祖母健在 承嚴慈命：祖父母健在 舉一個例子，如果男方和女方的祖父母都是健在的話，在喜帖內文裡，男方父母和女方父母的名字上便需分別加上承嚴慈命了。 2.常見的喜帖格式 以下是一些常見的喜帖內容及內文格式，可供參考。 3.兄弟姊妹的寫法 在喜帖內容、喜帖內文裡，新人名字之上一般都會加上他們在家中的排行，其實要留意的是，家中的兒子和女兒是分開計算的。以下是在一般情況下，在喜帖/結婚請帖上排行的寫法： 長男：家裡兒子排行最大 次男：家裡兒子排行第二 三男：家裡兒子排行第三 四男：家裡兒子排行第四 幼男：家裡兒子排行最小 小兒：家裡只有一位兒子 （家姐及細妹不計在內） 長女：家裡女兒排行最大 次女：家裡女兒排行第二 三女：家裡女兒排行第三 四女：家裡女兒排行第四 幼女：家裡女兒排行最小 小女：家裡只有一位女兒 （哥哥及細佬不計在內） 4.引用句子 「執子之手，與子偕老」~ [...]

喜帖格式往往因新人的喜好及配合每版喜帖的設計而有所不同，大致可分為： （一）傳統標準格式 （二）現代風格格式 （三）英文經典格式 傳統標準格式（一般採用直排） 公曆__年__月__日 謹訂於農曆__年__月__日（星期＿＿） ＿＿男＿＿ 為　　　　　於_(典禮時間)_時在_(地點)_舉行結婚典禮敬備喜酌 ＿＿女＿＿ 恭侯光臨 公曆__年__月__日 謹訂於農曆__年__月__日（星期＿＿） ＿＿男＿＿ 為　　　　　於_(典禮時間)_時在_(地點)_舉行結婚典禮敬備喜酌 ＿＿女＿＿ 恭侯光臨 公曆__年__月__日 謹訂於農曆__年__月__日（星期＿＿） ＿＿男＿＿ 為　　　　　於_(典禮時間)_時在_(地點)_舉行文定之喜敬備喜酌 or ＿＿女＿＿ 　　　 　　　　　　 結婚歸寧會親敬備喜酌 恭侯光臨 公曆__年__月__日 謹訂於農曆__年__月__日（星期＿＿） ＿＿男＿＿ 為　　　　　於_(典禮時間)_時在_(地點)_舉行文定之喜敬備喜酌 or ＿＿女＿＿ 　　　 　　　　　　 結婚歸寧會親敬備喜酌 恭侯光臨 現代風格格式 不太限定採用何種文風，文言白話皆可，新詩或台語也大有新人喜愛，端看您的偏好了。以下列舉中英應用詞句，供作選擇參考，當然，您們更可以自行創作！ 〈中文應用詞句〉 ﹝用詞１﹞ 這一天 我和我的好朋友將共締連理 生生世世 我們將一起生活、歡笑與互持 期盼您帶著祝福 分享我們的喜悅 [...]

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一般而言，喜帖公司提供現成的喜帖封面設計，而內文則由新人自己撰寫。 您當然可以發揮創意，撰寫一些幽默或動人的詞句，給親友留下深刻的印象，但如果您寧願採用傳統的格式和寫法，可參看以下資料 喜帖內容 1. 啟事語(「謹訂於」、「謹詹於」) 2. 舉行婚禮日期 3. 新郎、新娘名字 4. 舉行婚禮地點(「於」、「在」、「假座」之類) 5. 典禮名稱(結婚或訂婚) 6. 款待方式(「敬備」、「謹備」加「薄酌」、「茶點」之類，如時間與典禮不同，應先註明) 7. 邀請語(「恭請」、「敬請」、「敬希」、「恭候」、「台端」、「闔府」加「光臨」等) 8. 邀請者姓名 9. 附啟語(宴會開始及入席時間之類) 傳統中式喜帖內容應直行書寫，由右寫至左。 喜帖內容可以印英文、中文或兩種文字分別印在帖的左右兩頁。 1.承嚴命與承慈命 相信很多新人在撰寫喜帖內文時都有一個疑問，就是究竟在何時才需在喜帖內容或喜帖內文裡加入承嚴命與承慈命的字眼。其實，只要我們明白其中的原理，這一個承嚴命與承慈命的喜帖內容、喜帖內文問題是很容易可以解決的。 首先，我們必須明白，一般來說，喜帖/結婚請帖是以新人雙方的父母的名義發出的，而他們(理論上)是受命於自己的父母(即新人的祖父母)而發出喜帖 / 結婚請帖的。 這裡就是關鍵所在，所謂嚴父慈母， 所喜帖內容、喜帖內文裡的「承嚴命」和「承慈命」就是指受命於父親和母親的意思。要留意的是，這裡所指的父親和母親是新人父母的父親和母親，亦即是新人的祖父母。 所以簡單地說，喜帖內文的承嚴命和承慈命的用法應該是這樣的： 承嚴命：祖父健在 承慈命：祖母健在 承嚴慈命：祖父母健在 舉一個例子，如果男方和女方的祖父母都是健在的話，在喜帖內文裡，男方父母和女方父母的名字上便需分別加上承嚴慈命了。 2.常見的喜帖格式 以下是一些常見的喜帖內容及內文格式，可供參考。 3.兄弟姊妹的寫法 在喜帖內容、喜帖內文裡，新人名字之上一般都會加上他們在家中的排行，其實要留意的是，家中的兒子和女兒是分開計算的。以下是在一般情況下，在喜帖/結婚請帖上排行的寫法： 長男：家裡兒子排行最大 次男：家裡兒子排行第二 三男：家裡兒子排行第三 四男：家裡兒子排行第四 幼男：家裡兒子排行最小 小兒：家裡只有一位兒子 （家姐及細妹不計在內） 長女：家裡女兒排行最大 次女：家裡女兒排行第二 三女：家裡女兒排行第三 四女：家裡女兒排行第四 幼女：家裡女兒排行最小 小女：家裡只有一位女兒 （哥哥及細佬不計在內） 4.引用句子 「執子之手，與子偕老」~ [...]

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