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What are the power dynamics in your relationships?

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Multiple relationships can take different shapes. Where one person has two lovers who are not themselves lovers, that's sometimes called a "V". Where three people are each sexually/emotionally committed exclusively to the other two, that's sometimes called a polyfidelitous triangle. (Again, bisexuality need not be implied - it could be three people of the same sex.)

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Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know.

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Sexual Freedom, Polyamory, Christianity: The Case For Compatibility

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Sexual Freedom, Polyamory, Christianity: The Case For Compatibility

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Sexual Freedom, Polyamory, Christianity: The Case For Compatibility

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Liberated Christians PO Box 55045, Phoenix Az 85078-5045 Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality COPYRIGHTED 1997 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND WE ARE SENT A COPY OF PUBLICATION.

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ABC Preaches the 'Gospel of Polyamory' and the Saving Power of Threesomes

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ABC Preaches the 'Gospel of Polyamory' and the Saving Power of Threesomes

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Moving past gay marriage, ABC News on Monday pushed the "gospel" of polyamory, having multiple romantic and sexual partners in an open relationship. Co-anchor Dan Harris hyped, "More couples opting to become triples or fourples. Live-in lovers spicing up the marital bed, even helping raise the children." [See video below. MP3 audio here.]

Harris opened the segment by lecturing, "Just for a minute, let's do a thought experiment. Let's set aside all of the emotion and consider whether the evangelists for open marriage might have a point." Reporter Nick Watt profiled Michael, Kamela and Rachel, a threesome "couple" that has sex with numerous people, all while raising a child. Watt described, "They're spreading the gospel of polyamory, hoping to speed up societal acceptance of this kind of set-up."

Watt could only manage the most meager criticism of polyamory. Talking to sexual psychologist Karen Stewart, he offered, "Watching your spouse having sex with somebody else is not really my bag, I've got to say."

Talking to the three sex partners, he admitted, "If my wife saw my face light up when I looked at another woman, she'd be pissed."

But mostly he offered little in the way of an opposing position. The psychologist Stewart mildly agreed that seeing her spouse have sex with other people didn't sound appealing.

This isn't the first time ABC has promoted polyamory. On January 4, 2012 Good Morning America touted the sex games of a "modern" family who date within their "species."

A partial transcript of the November 25 Nightline segment is below:

12:35

DAN HARRIS Is this the end of marriage as we know it? More couples opting to become triples or fourples. Live in lovers spicing up the marital bed, even helping raise the children. Could your marriage survive this?

...

12:52

HARRIS: Just for a minute, let's do a thought experiment. Let's set aside all of the emotion and consider whether the evangelists for open marriage might have a point. Most marriages in America do end in divorce so maybe adding other lovers to the mix could improve the odds. To test this extremely controversial theory, we went into the home of what is known as a polyamorous family.

NICK WATT: Yep. There are three in that bed and the little one says --

MICHAEL: Are you happy you came over? 'Cause we just wanted to see you more.

WATT: Michael is married to that woman.

KAMELA DEVI: When you called me and you're like we're in Jamaica and I was like oh, I miss you guys.

WATT: They have been happily married for 12 years but Michael went away on vacation, ten day Caribbean cruise, with the other lady on the left. Twenty-seven-year-old Rachel, his live in girlfriend. This loving trio are what's called polyamorous.

...

WATT: If my wife saw my face light up when I looked at another woman, she'd be pissed.

DEVI: She's probably threatened that you'd leave her for that other woman and if you're monogamous, that's your only option, right?

WATT: Crazy Californians, I hear you mutter. Maybe not. This kind of relationship is becoming increasingly common.

KAREN STEWART (psychologist specializing in sex therapy): The divorce rate in the united states is over 50%. People are not as faithful.

WATT: Really?

STEWART: Absolutely. Because the world has become a much smaller space. We can seek out connections. There is dating sites on every street corner. You can go anywhere to meet somebody new.

WATT: More open relationships might be a modern way to make it work.

...

WATT: Is this in our future? Societal acceptance of something other than monogamy?

STEWART: Polyamory is not about being swingers. It's about creating love and lasting relationships.

WATT: Taking aside the whole robes and lotions kind of, you know, side of things, I mean, everyday life?

DEVI: We share life together. I've got a son. It takes a village to raise a child and it feels really good to have that kind of support.

...

STEWART: When he goes to school in ten years, when he brings dates home, this is probably going to be a little complicated for him and I'm not sure if the parents are thinking down the road about that.

WATT: Watching your spouse having sex with somebody else is not really my bag, I've got to say.

...

WATT: They're spreading the gospel of polyamory, hoping to speed up societal acceptance of this kind of set-up.

DEVI: I really think that society in ten years is going to be, like, this is a new paradigm.

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ABC Preaches the 'Gospel of Polyamory' and the Saving Power of Threesomes

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Moving past gay marriage, ABC News on Monday pushed the "gospel" of polyamory, having multiple romantic and sexual partners in an open relationship. Co-anchor Dan Harris hyped, "More couples opting to become triples or fourples. Live-in lovers spicing up the marital bed, even helping raise the children." [See video below.

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Why Women Are the Catalyst & Foundation for Polyamory : Multiple Match – Ethical Non-Monogamy, Sex, Love & Relationships

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Why Women Are the Catalyst & Foundation for Polyamory : Multiple Match – Ethical Non-Monogamy, Sex, Love & Relationships

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Poly Economics—Capitalism, Class, and Polyamory - Springer

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Poly Economics—Capitalism, Class, and Polyamory - Springer

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Abstract

Academic research and popular writing on nonmonogamy and polyamory has so far paid insufficient attention to class divisions and questions of political economy. This is striking since research indicates the significance of class and race privilege within many polyamorous communities. This structure of privilege is mirrored in the exclusivist construction of these communities. The article aims to fill the gap created by the silence on class by suggesting a research agenda which is attentive to class and socioeconomic inequality. The paper addresses relevant research questions in the areas of intimacy and care, household formation, and spaces and institutions and advances an intersectional perspective which incorporates class as nondispensable core category. The author suggests that critical research in the field can stimulate critical self-reflexive practice on the level of community relations and activism. He further points to the critical relevance of Marxist and Postmarxist theories as important resources for the study of polyamory and calls for the study of the contradictions within poly culture from a materialist point of view.

Keywords

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Poly Economics-Capitalism, Class, and Polyamory

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Academic research and popular writing on nonmonogamy and polyamory has so far paid insufficient attention to class divisions and questions of political economy. This is striking since research indicates the significance of class and race privilege within many polyamorous communities. This structure of privilege is mirrored in the exclusivist construction of these communities.

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Abstract: Polyamoryand Political Economy: A Note on Socio-Economic Inequalities (XVIII ISA World Congress of Sociology (July 13-19, 2014))

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Abstract: Polyamoryand Political Economy: A Note on Socio-Economic Inequalities (XVIII ISA World Congress of Sociology (July 13-19, 2014))

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Abstract: Polyamoryand Political Economy: A Note on Socio-Economic Inequalities (XVIII ISA World Congress of Sociology (July 13-19, 2014))

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Academic research and popular writing on nonmonogamy and polyamory have so far paid insufficient attention to class divisions and questions of political economy. This is striking since research indicates the concentration of significant amounts of class privilege within many polyamorous communities. This paper highlights the economic conditionality of polyamorous relationships and families.

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Polyamory in the News: Economics of polyamory discussed on NPR's "Planet Money"

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Polyamory in the News: Economics of polyamory discussed on NPR's "Planet Money"

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National Public Radio

And now for something completely different. Maybe you've heard NPR's "Planet Money" radio series (slogan: "The Economy Explained"). Yesterday's episode (#513) had as its guest Tim Harford, a British economist who, almost as a joke, started writing "Ask The Economist" advice for the lovelorn in London's Financial Times. His column applies the Dismal Science to readers' questions about dating and relationships. It took off and has made him something of a star.

The show took questions from callers. A man named Russell called in. "I'm a polyamorist," he explained;

I'm married, but I also have two close other loving partners who I share my life with, and in turn, she also has other partners of her own, and in fact we live with one of her boyfriends. A core tenet of polyamory is the concept of abundance, that love is abundant and you can share it with whomever you want, whereas monogamy concentrates on scarcity. So I'd just be curious to hear the economist's thoughts on the idea of abundance in love, and then what economic benefits, or detractors, that could arise from society thinking abundantly about love in this way.

Harford steps right up:

So Russell, economics is often described as the study of scarce resources, so in a way you'd think an economist was the wrong person to analyze this situation of abundance you find yourself in.... but what I would say is love may be boundless, and abundant, but time isn't. Time is finite....

Now there actually is an economic theory that is related to this. It was developed by Gary Becker, Nobel Prize winner in economics. And he developed an idea of how many children you might want to have. And what Becker said is, there's a tradeoff here. Because each additional child that you have is going to divide your time, and your attention [and resources].... And in Becker's theory there is a tradeoff between the quantity of children and the quality of children. And I imagine you face the same tradeoff. You have to decide what the optimal number of committed partners is. You can say that love is abundant and can be shared in a transparent way, but I think your behavior is not totally consistent with that. Because you have I think, three committed partners, your wife has a few committed partners - why not five billion?....

Russell says that yes, his relationship ability is saturated at three, and he tells why.

Listen here. The segment runs from 15:00 to 18:25.

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Polyamory in the News: Economics of polyamory discussed on NPR's "Planet Money"

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National Public Radio And now for something completely different. Maybe you've heard NPR's "Planet Money" radio series (slogan: "The Economy Explained"). Yesterday's episode (#513) had as its guest Tim Harford, a British economist who, almost as a joke, started writing "Ask The Economist" advice for the lovelorn in London's Financial Times.

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Polyamory: When to use your veto rights | Modern Poly

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Polyamory: When to use your veto rights | Modern Poly

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Dialogue on Power and Ethics: the Polyamory and Queer Movements | freaksexual

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Dialogue on Power and Ethics: the Polyamory and Queer Movements | freaksexual

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Dialogue on Power and Ethics: the Polyamory and Queer Movements

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The following dialogue is conversation between Daniel Cardoso and myself, which took place over six months (on Fetlife of all places). Daniel is a Portuguese polyamory activist and an assistant professor at Universidade Lusófona in Lisbon. He is doing his PhD in Communication Sciences along with a Masters' thesis on polyamory.

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Relationship Anarchy and The Spectrum of Relationship Control | atheist, polyamorous skeptics

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Relationship Anarchy and The Spectrum of Relationship Control | atheist, polyamorous skeptics

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Relationship Anarchy and The Spectrum of Relationship Control October 12, 2013

Posted by wfenza in Skepticism and atheism.
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Editorial Note: This post was written by Wes Fenza, long before the falling out of our previous quint household and the subsequent illumination of his abusive behavior, sexual assault of several women, and removal from the Polyamory Leadership Network and banning from at least one conference. I have left Wes' posts here because I don't believe it's meaningful to simply remove them. You cannot remove the truth by hiding it; Wes and I used to collaborate, and his thoughts will remain here, with this notice attached.

--

For most people, having a sexual/romantic relationship with a person means exercising some kind of control over that person. Traditional couples vary in the amount and types of control they exercise over one another, but part of traditional monogamy is a substantial amount of control over a partner's sexuality and "outside" relationships.

Part of polyamory's primary appeal to me was the breaking down of this power structure. For me, the biggest appeal of opening my relationship was that my partner was allowed to do what she wanted, without worrying that she was infringing on my rights as her partner. Several forms of the types of monogamy that I endorse involve partners exercising less power over one another (or explicitly recognizing and formalizing their power structure).

Recently, I've been reading about a relationship style that radically breaks down the relationship power structure: relationship anarchy. As the name suggests, it involves the rejection of the traditional power structure that is the norm in our society. Like polyamory, RA doesn't have one clear definition or philosophy, but I've found several sources which give consistent descriptions.

As will all research projects, we start with Wikipedia:

Relationship anarchy (abbreviated RA) is the practice of forming relationships that are not bound by set rules. It goes beyond polyamory by postulating that there need not be a formal distinction between different types of relationships. Relationship anarchists look at each relationship (romantic or otherwise) individually, as opposed to categorizing them according to societal norms such as 'just friends', 'in a relationship', 'in an open relationship', etc.

The Thinking Asexual has a primer on RA basics. A short excerpt:

A relationship anarchist does not assign special value to a relationship because it includes sex. A relationship anarchist does not assign special value to a relationship because it includes romance, if they even acknowledge romance as a distinct emotion or set of behaviors in the first place. A relationship anarchist begins from a place of assuming total freedom and flexibility as the one in charge of their personal relationships and decides on a case by case basis what they want each relationship to look like. They may have sex with more than one person, they may be celibate their whole lives, they may live with someone they aren't having sex with, they may live alone no matter what, they may raise a child with one sexual partner or multiple sexual partners, they may raise a child with a nonsexual partner, they may have highly physical/sensual relationships with multiple people simultaneously (some or all of whom are not sexually and/or romantically involved with them), etc.

I encourage you to read the whole thing, and specifically about how RA applies to asexuality and other nontraditional orientations. There is also a good introduction tot the concept at The Anarchist Library. My favorite part:

The term "polyamory" is broad. It covers a lot of different relationship styles, some more controlling than others. If you're a member of any polyamory groups on Facebook, Reddit, or other online communities, you'll often see disagreements regarding the amount of control that's ideal to exercise in a relationship. Some community leaders such as Franklin Veaux explicitly argue in favor of a less controlling dynamic. Often, this idea offends people (particularly unicorn hunters) who feel that they need to maintain a substantial degree of control in their relationships. Media coverage of polyamory tends to exacerbate this issue.

These disagreements arise often, and my theory is these disagreement are inevitable until we come up with a more robust vocabulary. The problem is that people hear different things when you use a term like "polyamory," specifically in regards to how much control partners exercise over one another. Relationships exist on a spectrum of control, ranging from total master/slave relationships on one end (where one partner makes all major decisions for the other) to completely independent relationship anarchy on the other. In the middle are all other relationships. The archetypical spectrum looks something like this:

^Click to embiggen. There are many other archetypes that carry assumptions about the level of control in the relationship. The problem is that many relationships don't fit into the archetypes on the spectrum. Some polyamorous relationships can be just as controlling, if not moreso, than traditionally monogamous relationships. Some polyamorous relationships have all of the same rules as traditional monogamy, just with additional people. Some skeptically monogamous relationships can be just as free and egalitarian as relationship anarchists.

I think that, when most of us get involved in the poly community, we're looking for like-minded people who share our philosophy on relationships. The problem is that those of us on the right of the spectrum have very little in common with polyamorous people on the left of the spectrum (and actually much more in common with skeptically monogamous people on the right of the spectrum). So long as we have no way of communicating our level of control in our relationships, these disagreements are going to continue.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. It's important for people to be exposed to other perspectives. Particularly, I think newer poly people (who tend to be further on the left of the spectrum) benefit enormously from the perspectives of more experienced poly people (who tend to be further to the right on the spectrum). It's important for people to see examples of sustainable relationships and how they operate. I'm also not a fan of exclusion, so I'm not advocating forming communities that keep anyone out.

I do think, however, that as polyamory grows in popularity, it will be necessary to come up with a more robust vocabulary to describe our relationships. Any ideas?

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Relationship Anarchy and The Spectrum of Relationship Control

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Editorial Note: This post was written by Wes Fenza, long before the falling out of our previous quint household and the subsequent illumination of his abusive behavior, sexual assault of several women, and removal from the Polyamory Leadership Network and banning from at least one conference.

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Darren Ramsey is a consultant, life coach and relationship coach whose methods include talk therapy and neuro-linguistic programming. He also occasionally does therapeutic hypnotism, or "installing learnings into the mind", as he characterises it, speaking in his upbeat, can-do style. His tiled, Italianate home in Devon Park, in Adelaide's inner north, has a well-kept garden (it's that kind of suburb), a concrete driveway and a couple of dogs out the back. Inside, the walls are decorated with inspirational sayings like, "Do ALL you can/With WHAT you've got/From WHERE you can."

This epigram, and its implication of abundance, sums him up well. Because Ramsey, a 50-year-old divorced father of two whose interests include scuba diving and wine appreciation, is a polyamorist. Which means he has multiple concurrent relationships with different partners, who all know about each other, and some of whom may be involved with each other, too.

Triple play ... both Natalie (at left) and Kitty sleep with Chris, but the two women "are not really into each other".
Photo: Nick Cubbin

Ramsey is part of what's known, in the "poly" world, as a triad. He has two female partners, 28-year-old Jennifer Lee and 35-year-old Melissa "Melly" Coller, who are also lovers. They sometimes have sex as a threesome. "There are three separate connections, so each has its own dynamic and own little cocoon," Ramsey explains. "It's just that it's more open when we're interrelating."

Defined broadly as "ethical non-monogamy", polyamory - distinct from swinging (which emphasises recreational sex rather than love), polygamy (marriage with multiple partners) or good old-fashioned adultery - is an increasingly vocal and active movement.

Intimate affair ... Darren Ramsey with his fellow polyamorists - and lovers - Jennifer Lee (at left) and Melissa Coller.
Photo: Randy Larcombe

Polyamorists say that jealousy is learnt, not innate, and can be overcome. They believe a person's capacity for love is infinite and, just as a parent's adoration for their first-born does not limit the love they have for subsequent children, so the heart expands with numerous sexual partners. Polyamorists even believe jealousy can be transmuted into a feeling of joy, experienced when you see your partner enjoying the love of someone else - a feeling so uncommon, polyamorists had to make up a word for it: "compersion". (It's not in the Oxford Dictionary.)

When I visit the Ramsey ménage, it is a light-filled evening and the burghers of Devon Park have turned sprinklers on in their gardens. All three householders greet me on the patio. Ramsey, slight, fit and silver-haired, puts his hand out first, and introduces me around. Lee is creamy-skinned and pretty, with dyed-red hair and a Goth-lite aesthetic. She has a tattoo on her calf and a quiet, shy manner. Over the ensuing hours, she frequently defers to Ramsey in conversation, as though not quite confident she has landed on the right word. Coller is friendly and self-confident but also hangs back, perhaps out of deference to the group dynamic. Ramsey does most of the talking.

Settling in a sitting room that doubles as a waiting room for his clients (he works from home), Ramsey explains that he and Lee have been together since March; Coller, who lives on the NSW north coast but is visiting Adelaide, is the third and last to enter the arrangement. Ramsey found Coller on a social media website called FetLife ("fet" is short for "fetish").

Lee always knew that Ramsey's ambition was to form a triad. He was "burnt", he says, from past experiences at the centre of what is known as a "V", where one person has two separate concurrent relationships with two people, who are not connected to each other. "I made it clear I was no longer interested in a 'V' relationship," Ramsey says. "I had been there, done that, and it was exhausting, extraordinarily taxing."

So he set about creating his ideal scenario. A previous partner had not coped well when he brought Lee into their relationship as a "third", so she left the group (with some acrimony, it seems) and Lee stayed. He says, "You just tell people, in no uncertain terms, 'This is my view of the world, this is what I like. This is what I expect. If you want to be part of it, get on board. If not, step off the train at the next station.' "

Lee and Coller wanted to get on board, and both profess a wish to stay there long-term.

Before meeting Ramsey, Lee had never been in a group relationship before, and while she identifies as bisexual and had "experimented" with women, she says she had never had sex with one before Coller joined the triad.

Now Lee and Coller have a sexual relationship, too. They love each other, they tell me, reaching across Ramsey to join hands.

A recent article in the American magazine Details estimates there are 500,000 polyamorists living in the US. There are no figures for Australia but, thanks to the internet, people interested in the lifestyle can meet up more easily than ever.

The word "polyamory" is said to have been created by a woman named Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart, who used it in a 1990 magazine article, "A Bouquet of Lovers". The lifestyle was elucidated more fully by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy in their 1997 book, The Ethical Slut. The how-to book lays out the principles of managing multiple concurrent sexual relationships, including the need for strong communication and agreement on ground rules.

Chris is 25 years old and a circus performer. Short and wiry, with dark hair and side-burns, he does contact juggling and live shows, and mixes in an alternative community of like-minded artists and students in Sydney's inner west. I meet him at a cafe near his share house in a converted factory. "I was never particularly comfortable in monogamous relationships," he says. "I always found myself getting emotionally invested with people outside the relationship."

While studying at university in Bathurst, NSW, Chris hunted down a book he had "heard whisperings of": The Ethical Slut. For Chris it was a new philosophy, one that resonated deeply with him, and soon afterwards he met one of his partners, Kitty, a Perth-based social-work student.

"It was like a whirlwind," he recounts. "We ended up spending the day talking about science fiction and how societies are built." When Kitty went back to Perth, they began chatting on the phone. Chris was finishing his studies and was often up late. Kitty was a "good lifeline to call", Chris says. From the outset, Chris says, "we both identified as poly. She had a couple of other occasional lovers over in Perth. She is pansexual, so ...'' He stops. "You know the definition of pansexual, don't you?"

I lie and say yes. Chris chimes in over my attempted explanation. "It's just like, 'You're a person. I like you. Oh, you happen to have bits.' That's pansexual," he says.

Two years into his long-distance relationship with Kitty, now 26, Chris met Natalie, an admin assistant and aspiring artist who is the third member of the trio. The pair met through mutual friends and Chris was upfront about his relationship status. Previously Natalie, who is 23, had only ever been in a monogamous relationship, so Chris introduced her to the lifestyle.

In researching this article, I was asked constantly by friends and family whether polyamory wasn't just a way for a man to enjoy multiple sexual partners without any consequences. Most people, for whatever reason, doubt that women have the time, patience or inclination to have lots of partners on the go. In the small and unscientific sample I interviewed, it seemed only bisexual polyamorous women were truly interested in having partners outside their primary relationship.

Niko Antalffy, 38, is one such woman. "I kind of knew from about 23 that I wasn't monogamous," she says. "After a few turbulent years, I realised I could either be happy but unethical, or ethical and unhappy. You either cheat on people and you're horrible, or you are monogamous."

Antalffy insists it's not just about sex. To her, polyamory is more a "life philosophy". "Life is full of potential connections and possibilities. I did not want to miss out on those. I didn't want to say no to connections because someone else expected me to," she explains.

Antalffy has a live-in partner, Chris Wotton, 31, with whom she has just had her first child. She also has a girlfriend she has been seeing for a few months, whom she met through Sydney's poly community. The logistics of who is with whom on which night can be tricky. "We try to arrange it so my partner is seeing his other partner at the same time I am seeing mine," she says. The couple also have "mutual lovers'' and casual encounters. "All of that is up for negotiation," she says. Wotton had been in non-monogamous relationships before. It was just that the other parties didn't know their relationships were non-monogamous. "There wasn't full disclosure. With polyamory there is full disclosure."

Wotton has a "secondary partner", a woman he sees occasionally. "We hang out, drink red wine ... sex is generally involved," he explains. He also has an online dating profile and sees other people on the side. To minimise the threat of sexual transmitted infections, Wotton and Antalffy are "fluid-bonded" to each other, meaning they use protection with other lovers.

Antalffy sleeps with her occasional lovers in the house they share, but tries to schedule it on nights when Wotton is elsewhere. If it sounds exhausting, that's because it is. Polyamorists acknowledge the necessity of keeping a tight diary, and stress the need to take time for themselves, rather than allow their lives to be consumed by dividing time between relationships.

Speaking before the birth of his child with Antalffy, Wotton said he didn't expect to change his lifestyle. "If you got pregnant, would you suddenly stop playing golf with your golfing buddies?" he asked. A few months after the birth, he is more circumspect. "We've talked about the fact that polyamory is very much still part of our lives," he says. "But practically it's hard to find the time for ourselves, let alone other people."

Polyamory enjoyed publicity last year, thanks to the gay marriage debate in general and hardline Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi in particular. Last September, a private member's bill to legalise same-sex marriage introduced by Labor MP Stephen Jones was considered by federal parliament. It was defeated by 98 votes to 42, and some parliamentarians expressed fears in the lead-up to the vote that gay marriage might lead to the legal acceptance of polyamorous relationships. Bernardi said the "slippery slope" from gay marriage could lead to legalised polyamory and bestiality - a statement that led to him resigning as Tony Abbott's parliamentary secretary.

The same-sex rights movement has a tentative relationship with polyamory. Polyamorists were refused their own official float in Sydney's Mardi Gras last year, but were allowed to participate as "supporters" of the gay and lesbian festival. And Darren Ramsey says the defeat of the gay marriage bill has cruelled any prospect of having polyamorous relationships similarly recognised: "If you look at the whole [gay marriage] campaign, as it got closer to the vote they were throwing polyamory under the bus. 'Oh no, no, we have nothing to do with those group marriages and that polyamorous open stuff!' We were the sacrificial lamb."

Authorities have trouble "viewing" open relationships, particularly the issue of child guardianship by multiple people, says Ramsey: "That is an area where I can make a bigger difference."

I have to know, so I ask.

Ramsey sleeps in the middle.
This story originally appeared in Good Weekend. Like Good Weekend on Facebook to get regular updates on upcoming stories and events - www.facebook.com/GoodWeekendMagazine

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Normal text size Larger text size Very large text size Darren Ramsey is a consultant, life coach and relationship coach whose methods include talk therapy and neuro-linguistic programming. He also occasionally does therapeutic hypnotism, or "installing learnings into the mind", as he characterises it, speaking in his upbeat, can-do style.

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Hello! For reference, I don't have a primary partner, I am a secondary partner to several people and very happy with that. (I like my alone time.)...

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PolyFamilies. Being a freak can help you become rich. Here's how.