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Updated story (fiction)

Story question: Will Jessica be able to escape and submit her assignment on time?

Story title: 11PM

Story summary: Jessica who procrastinates doing her assignment till the late night, finds herself in another dimension trying to escape and get back to on time before its too late to submit her overdue assignment.

Inciting incident & Plot point 1:

In the late nights around 11pm Jessica was rushing her assignments on her laptop with nothing but a typing and a clock ticking sound can be heard in the room. As Jessica was about to press submit, a green light beam shines through her window, which lights up her room and flashes across Jessica's eyes, in pain she rubs her eye and ends up in another dimension.

Midpoint & Plot point 2:

She removes her hands from her face, looks around her surroundings and finds herself in a secluded carpark and checks the time on her watch "11.15pm", she stresses on her submission but notices her arms highlighted in a green light, she turns around to see the door to the stairs lit up by a green light, she opens the door and the light consumes her and she lands back at a different level of the carpark. She looks at her watch again but this time it seems to have moved forward in time by 15 minutes, freaked out she looks around for a way to escape the carpark.

Climax:

Jessica runs down the slopes of the carpark when she sees a blue light in the door across the carpark and rushes towards it but in the process time slows her down. She reaches her hand out to the door, moments before the green light consumes her again she squeezes her eyes but lands in front of her opened front door, she walks in without a thought but realises the green light is still following her. She heads into her room and closes the door behind her and rushes on her laptop to press submit.

Resolution:

The room filled with silence again she looks at the time for a final time and its back to 11 pm, she sighs of relief and closes her laptop, camera dolly out to reveal her bedroom door with the green light still peaking through.

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Story idea for fictional (will find research to support the idea below about kids playing with lazers at night)

-It was one of those nights near 12pm where i was laying on my bed watching creepy conspiracy theories, my sister was not gonna be home until later in the night while the rest of my family was already asleep. In the zone of all the some random but some very creepy when BOOM GREEN LIGHT BEAMS shined through into my window 3 times at first i was trying to be realistic and thing maybe it was kids playing with lazers from downstairs except that i was staying at the top floor of the building and the way the lazer beams came through as at a weird angle as if it was from across the building. At this point i was balling my eyes out as i stressed and texted my bf to save me and if i die it was because aliens. My body stiff as a tree just froze as my heart continues to beat like crazy and then i accepted my fate if i was to disappear from the world it was probably aliens. It most probably from across the building but its crazy scary to think how far laser can shoot its beam from across 2 buildings and a big road…. Or was it really aliens.

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research found (not exactly same but similar beams to my story)

may also include info below in story such as the effects it might have when using lasers.

https://www.nea.gov.sg/our-services/radiation-safety/lasers/information-on-laser-pointers

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Driver ‘temporarily blinded’ by green beam of light coming from van on KPE

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A motorist was driving along the Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway (KPE) on Tuesday evening (May 28) when he noticed a glaring green light that he believes was a laser beam coming from a van. Read more at stomp.straitstimes.com

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pictures to my storyboarding sketches, raw and edited photos (visual essay)

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Location : carkpark next to my house & my house (Admiralty area)

Title of story: The Unknown

Story Summary: During the indulges of conspiracy theories during the night, Jessica faces a unknown green light beam that leads her down a unsettling journey to finding out what it is. (may re update the story)

(Fictional)

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Inciting incident:

It was one of those nights near 12pm where Jessica was laying on the bed watching creepy conspiracy theories, and her sister was not going to be home until later in the night while the rest of her family was already asleep, She was in the zone. BOOM GREEN LIGHT BEAMS shined through into her window 3 times which lit up her room, the room goes dead silent and all she can hear is her own heart beat.

Plot point 1:

She gets up and heads towards where the green light beams shined through, as she slowly pokes her head towards the window, she places her phone on her desk. Nothing but a dark night sky and city buildings were presented in front of her eyes, a dark silhouette grazed passed her back, she flinches and turns around.

Midpoint:

Her eyes dart around her room in panic when it was disrupted by a phone call, she turns to see her phone, it was her sister calling. She picks up the call and proceeds to pack a tote bag with her keys and wallet. She replies to her sister as she makes her way out of the house and ends the call. (she needs to go meet her sister to help her move stuff back to their house [will be stated in dialogue]).

Plot point 2: Jessica heads into the lift while still on her phone. As the lift goes down, the dark silhouette appears in between certain floor seemingly to be getting closer and closer. But jessica doesn't not notice and leaves. Jessica finally arrives at the car in the carpark when she gets the chills being in a empty carpark with only one singular car sitting there when she hears creepy laughters coming from around her. She flips her body around to see who was playing around and tries to call out to them when right next to her ear, the dark silhouette speaks. She turns and drops to the ground in terror and screams.

Climax: Stood in front of her is her sister with a confused look she stares at her holding a bunch of groceries, in her hands is a green laser pointer attached to her keys. She questions her being on the floor and asks her to help her hold her keys and her bag. Jessica gets up and grabs her sisters stuff with her still anxious about what happened, she questions her sister in which her sister dismisses jessica's crazy thoughts and nothing. They bicker as they head home.

Resolution:

Jessica places the keys on her desk as she stays up during the night as she researches about the mysterious green light beams. It ends showing the keys with the green laser pointer.

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Hmm the green light beam is it like laser? Cause i don't think the laser can light up an entire room so if it's a laser it can like be just the beam shines across the room. I think that's all cause your story is quite good.

show clock in background then make the character keep looking at it

show more green light & watch while she is running to create more tension

lesser objects in the room & make the character stand out for the shot when she is in her room

like the use of colours to differentiate the 2 different dimensions

story is okay but no connection or feels for the character

not enough tension during the story (can make the assignment not a normal assignment, it could be a heavy graded assignment)

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The timing in the picture and watch is supposed to be 11pm but it was just taken at a different timing, for some shots where her hair is some down and some up it is because it was taken in multiple days.