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Happy birthday, Lil Sis. I love you. Patricia Gathering 2026

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Hey, Sister. Give Dad the biggest hug for me.

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Patricia Marie Dillstrom you are forever in our hearts. We love and miss you.

❤️ 💙 💜 💖 ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗 💘 ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗 💘 ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗 💘 ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗 💘 ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗 💘 ❤️ 💙

Your Family

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I love you mama and I wish so very much that I could have spent more time with you. I have so many questions I wanted to ask you. One day i will. I miss you.

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Tears escape my eyes and roll down my cheek. I quickly wipe them away so your son doesn't see the emotion that has taken over me. I can't help but think that you should be here at this moment in time. Your baby girl up on stage, singing her beautiful heart out at choir sound check tonight. Her big performance tomorrow and Im filled with joy for her and sorrow that you are not here in the crowd with us watching her. I whisper to your son how much she looks like you. They both look like you in their own way. I see you in them each and every day. There is so much of you in them and it makes me miss you all the more. Even now tears escape my eyes writing this. I will never get over the loss of you. I will always wish you were here with us. I love you Tootie and I miss you so much.

Love Mama Bear

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I have been thinking of you a lot lately and I miss you so much.Remembering you is easy missing you is hard.I hope you and Papa are watching over all of us.I Love both of you so much.GG Zakour

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You were hella funny, Sis, it's true.

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I keep thinking about when patty and I were hanging ou at my ex boyfriends and my ex boyfriend opened the bedroom door and LOL before he could say anything Patty smiled and said, " Hey, we were just talking shit about you!"

I still just randomly laugh whenever I think about that.

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I've been seeing you lately, when I look at other people out and about on errands. I miss you.

Your kiddos are being spoiled this winter Solstice. I think about how you would celebrate with them now if you could. What traditions would you start? Would you approve of the gifts I bought them? Would you open a gift the night before? What would you put in their stocking?

I miss you, Sister.

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I love you, Sister. Happy Indigenous Day, beautiful one.

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Day 365 was just as hard as day 1 and every day in-between has been a struggle to exist without you here.

I try to be strong for your children but so much of me died with you.

We all miss you everyday, every birthday, every holiday, every minute of every day.

I loved you every day of your life and I will love and miss you every day I have left of mine.

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Good morning, Sister. You've been on my mind a lot. It's coming up on a year in a few days. I had to add a second antidepressant to survive losing you, but I'm starting to come back to the world, bringing you with me in the ways I know how.

Your daughter had a surgery on her heart recently. She's doing well. She laughs just like you when she's being really silly. I see you in so many of her expressions. It's actually kind of wild. It's really helped me to be near her, with those parts of you made even more beautiful through her. She will have her own life and identity though and my biggest wish is that she hurts less than you did.

Q is staying on our property again. He's working construction adjacent work and looking for a truck. He's learning more and more what it means to practice self care. I worry about who he hangs out with sometimes but want to trust he will find a good path.

Zen is starting to develop some new interest in cosplay, which is really cool. I'm gonna throw him a cosplay party for his 13th next year. 13! Can you believe it?

Dad has throat cancer and is going to start chemo/radiation soon. I'm worried but hopeful. It's going to be really hard the next several months.

Sam is going to have another baby, a boy. She's really happy about that and though I wished for a girl, I'm happy too.

Andrew has moved to Bend and I miss him so damn much. He's working way too hard but he's got a goal to find a home there. The place is perfect for him and you would've been really happy for him, I think.

I don't see Grandma nearly enough with my full schedule but I know she visits your bench often. I'll be there soon to bring you roses and clean up.

Mom is struggling but seemed to have fun trick or treating with me and the little ones on Halloween. I wish you were there. I know she does too.

Tim called and is dying. I know he wants to join you and he will soon. May he tell you how much I love you.

My husband is going to China next week to see his daughter. Sis is excited coz I'll go to sleep over at her place. 😆

Anyway, I love you so much and wanted to update you. Stay out of trouble 😉

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Lol, I don't know if you ever tried Kumquats. I just used one as a chaser for the shots we took. They are so cute too. They are miniature oranges. YOU CAN EVEN PEEL THEM!!!!! If you were visible, I would flick one at your mouth as you were talking. They are the size of an olive......a small olive.

Goodnight cousin.

Hey, visit me soon. I've been trying OBE and am stuck at the rolling out part. I almost got it, maybe you could help me. We'll, I know you can. Are you able to?

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Miss you. Let me know what you think of this. Straight from the bottle. I'll pour yours first, then mine. Only one though. Was going to get goldschlagger, lol, but I have to work tomorrow and I don't feel like sheeting me pants.

Salud

Beifall

Cheers

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Today is your daughter's 11th birthday. She is such a treasure in our family. You really missed out, Sis. And so has she.

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I'm thinking about you, Sister. We miss you.

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I love you so much, Sister

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Sitting here.

Thinking of you today.

Miss and love you little one grandma zakour

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Went out and set on the bench for a while today.Remembering all the time that I spent with you?It was nice love and missed you so much Grandma Zakour

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Hey, Sis. I won't let the world go on without you. I'll be speaking at this event where I'll have 10 minutes to speak about the 10+ years of losing you. I love you.

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Mom, your kiddos, and I will be at this event for you. We love and miss you, Sister.

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https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1P7bqRm8gq/

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Good morning, little Sis. Sam just gave us all surprising news and our Brother is going through a big transition. I know they both wish you were here to walk beside them. We miss you so dearly.

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Round Here (Counting Crows - Lyrics On Screen_

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Hey, Sis. I got news recently I wish you were here to share with. I also had your two littlest ones spend the night and we played hide and seek with our Brother. It was the most fun but also tinged with some sadness as I hid and thought about how in some way it's like playing hide and seek with you again and how you should be here to play with us, how your children might delight in that. When I was ready to go to bed our Bro said one more round and I played that one just for them, except it was for you too. I love you so much and miss you so terribly.

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I love you, Sis. ❤️

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Copied from a FB post:

One of my siblings will be at all of our funerals.

And one of us?

Won’t be at any.

And that absolutely breaks me.

It’s a reality I never wanted to face…

but it creeps into my thoughts more often than I care to admit.

The thought of us all aging.

One by one saying goodbye.

And one of us… left to sit through it all.

To carry every loss. To hold every memory. To be the last living piece of us.

I don’t know who it’ll be.

But I already ache for them.

Because being the last one standing?

That’s a grief nobody prepares you for.

Sibling bonds run deep.

Even when life gets loud and distance grows wide, there’s a part of me that still feels like we’re kids, like time can’t touch us.

But it can.

And one day… it will.

And that truth?

It hurts more than I know how to explain.

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I'm getting ready to make lemonade. Tomorrow Zen and Tricia are running a lemonade stand. I'm wearing my ring, pretty much always do. So you're making lemonade with me, for them. And tomorrow you'll be there in this small way, selling maraschino lemonade and suckers with them.

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I weep and weep to this song. I think of you. Little sister, little girl, small and needy, how I want to wrap you up and keep you warm. You became so independent, because of trauma, so strong. But you were still small and needy under all of that and the combination of those things sometimes leads to tragedy. It did for you. For us. I weep and weep.

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I have tried to get on here before now I made it.Me and Aunt Carolyn went to your bench today to talk to you and tell you we miss and Love you so much.Crystal was there so we sat in the grass and talked about a lot of things that we remembered from threw the years and it was awesome.Remembering you is easy missing you is hard.I Love you and miss you. Grandma Zakour

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I think of you when I hear this. I don't know why. Maybe it's the hope I carried all those years. Maybe it's because it's beautiful and sad like you. Maybe it's because I was already thinking of you. I miss you so f****** much.

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So beautiful...

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I come here to cry and talk to you.

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I love you, Sis.

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SYML  -  Where's My Love (Acoustic Version) [Official Video]

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I love you so much. I wish things were different for you. I wish this life was easier for you. Better for you. You deserved more from this world.

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Hey, Sis. I'm just popping in to say that the newspaper wants to do an interview about you and your bench. I can't help but to want to plaster your name all over the world. I love you so much and I miss you.

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I love you, Patricia.

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Sister. Today's the day, yeah. Your first heavenly birthday, what would have been your 35th down here. I'm hosting a gathering in your honor. I don't expect a big turnout this year. It's a Friday and I think people turn away from heavy things, but next year and the year after will be weekend days, we'll see how it goes. I really wish we were celebrating your birthday down here and it's going to be a really hard day because we're not, but we're gonna honor you, our loss and make space for celebrating and inspiring the recovery of others. I'll light some sage for you, Sis. I miss you. And I love you, always. Happy Birthday.

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Hey, Sis. I went to Crescent City this weekend and visited all of our favorite spots. I found frog eggs and thousands of tadpoles in the Smith River. It made me think of you. You would've loved that so much, looking to bring some home with you 😆. I almost opened up my ring and left some of your ashes right there with them but it didn't seem right without Andrew and Sam with me. So I think it's time to plan a visit with them. I think your children would really love all these places too. Q is getting sworn into the Marines soon. I think you would've been proud of who he's become. Check out this pic, Sis. I love you.

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Because She Was Big

Because she was big— bigger than silence, bigger than shame, bigger than the small rooms this world tried to fit her in— I will not make my grief small.

Because her laugh could crack open a room, because her heart beat loud even when it broke, because she didn’t get the softness she deserved, I will build it now, stone by stone.

This is what I must do:

Say her name. Set it in wood, in metal, in sky. Carve it where strangers might sit and wonder who Patricia was— and maybe see their own sister in her shadow.

This ache is my altar. These hands, my offering. I will gather the forgotten, catch their names before they fall, light candles where others turn their backs.

I will write her birthday into calendars, plant her memory in the roots of trees, and tell the world what they should have told her when she was here: You mattered. You still do.

This is not closure. It’s a beginning. It’s the gathering. It’s the grief made holy.

Because she was big— and I will not let her memory be anything less.

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Hey Sis, I just got a call from the Parks Department, and I'm meeting them today, sometime in between 1 and 2, to show them the spot where we want to put the bench. It sounds like they're going to be able to pour a concrete pad for it next week. I've been waiting for this call, so that's great, but as soon as I got off the phone, I just started bawling. I'm not 100% sure why. Anyway, you're a jerk. I love you.

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I love you, Sis. I'm thinking about you.

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Only I was not ashamed...

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Yesterday, we walked by the lake — me, Earl, and Runic.
The air was light, the mountains watching quietly from a distance.

There was a girl there with her family, rocking a stroller back and forth, a cigarette resting between her fingers.
Runic, ever the sentinel, kept his eyes locked on her.
She noticed and smiled — a smile so wide and full of light it felt like a doorway opening.

In that moment, there you were.
Not in body — but in the air, the space, the way her laughter colored the world around her.
Her hair, her ease, the way she stood so boldly in the middle of it all — the stroller, the cigarette, the sunshine — it was all you.

I told Earl she reminded me of you.
He just smiled — he already knew.

As we were leaving, I waved, and she and I shared a smile so big, it felt like a bridge across two worlds.
For a heartbeat, I felt the goodbye we never got.

Driving away, I turned my face toward the lake, the mountains blurring through tears I tried to blink away before they could be seen.
Earl didn’t speak of them — he just drove quietly, and then, as if he could feel it too, he told me he loved me.
No questions. No spotlight. Just love, filling the spaces where words would only fall short.

You were everywhere, Sis.
You still are.

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Folks are building a 50-bed treatment/detox center in town. It's desperately needed. I wish it were here years ago. It might have saved your life. You needed help. I wish I could've helped you.

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Seeing our brother walk out of the funeral home after your viewing will forever be scarred into my mind, Sister. It would've made you so sad to see, too.

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I'm getting this today, on my birthday. I wish it were just a hug from you, instead. 

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I been thinking of you today and missing you,but I know that you and Papa are Dancing where you are and having a great time.Love You Little One. Grandma Zakour

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Hey, Sis. I saw Shandi today, she's doing cosmetology stuff now, nails and hair. We talked about you a bit. I wish you could've been there. I love you.

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I just got this update about your bench. Looks like your gonna have a premium spot along the lake, Sis.

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Just before I wake to the sound of the alarm, you say to me

" I will stay but I won't wake up early."

I wish that I could have stayed there with you longer, instead of waking to the daily nightmare that you are gone.

I will love you forever with every breath I breathe and I will hold you in my heart and never let you go.

I Love You Forever Patricia Marie,

Love Mama Bear

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Hey, Sis. It's your oldest son's birthday today. 19 years. We got the call from the funeral home that your death certificate is ready today, too. On the same day. That feels cruel and made me mad at you for a little bit. It's just not fair and my thought is that when we grew up hearing "the world isn't fair", it wasn't supposed to mean this, right?

Anyway, Happy Birthing Day, Sister. You did such an amazing thing that day.

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Good morning, Sister. You are part of what makes me whole, part of my identity as a sister. I hope your name is spoken for a thousand years.

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I remember when you spent time with me I really enjoyed the time we spent together.

You was so little and you had such a cute laugh and the biggest smile and dimples .

I love you and miss you so very much

You will always be with me in spite

You are with so many loved ones

Auntie Carolyn loves you ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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Been Thinking a lot about you lately some things I remember are from Prineville and the times we went shopping,those were great times,you picking the things you liked.The times we went to the Restaurant to see Papa cause he was always working,and your Homework that was a story in its self.I know that you and Papa are at peace now and watching over all of us.I Love You❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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You loved scrapbooking. I bought some supplies and will be giving it a shot. Zen & Tricia, Mom, Sam, and I will have our own little "junk journals" and I will feel a little closer to you, though you are more than a world away.

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I love you and I'm thinking about you this morning, Patricia.

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I've gained a bunch of weight, Sis. Cuz I haven't been able to bring myself to cook since the call. And my appetite has been terrible. Nothing sounds good except the most comfort of comfort foods. Ice cream for breakfast, truffles at 2am when I can't sleep, hot pockets I normally would not eat. It's so dumb I'm not so much worried about the weight, but these choices have me in a slump of no energy that's worse than it otherwise would be. I didn't see the complete exhaustion coming, but I guess it make sense. I'm starting to switch toward healthier options. Nuts with chocolate and berries I don't want to wash. I just miss you.

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I want to spend another night arguing with you over who turns the lights off. And about how I don't keep the room clean enough. I want to write one more song with you and sit with you watching your children play with tadpoles like you loved to do. There are so many things I wanted to share with you over the last 10+ years. So many things to come that should be shared with a Sister. I'm holding onto this page, where you still exist between the words, because every part of me is still holding on to you, Sis. I love you so much.

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Hey, baby sister. I'm thinking about you.

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Sis, there are times when I still just cannot believe you are gone. We were supposed to grow old together.

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I don't know, it doesn't seem good enough, but I love the traditional style. Would you have liked it?

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It's Valentine's Day today. Which means tattoos. I'm not getting yours yet, but I'm on the lookout for a design. I'm thinking something moon related🌙. I hope at least one man spoiled you on at least one Vday. I love you, Sis. ❤️ 

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It's Valentine's Day today. Which means tattoos. I'm not getting yours yet, but I'm on the lookout for a design. I'm thinking something moon related🌙. I hope at least one man spoiled you on at least one Vday. I love you, Sis. ❤️ 

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You were in my dreams again last night. I don't think I got to see you but you sent me something to sign. I was trying to make out what it was about. The word Arcadian was in the title. I know you were trying to do something good. Anyways, Sis. Thanks for the visit. I love you so much. 

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You were in my dreams again last night. I don't think I got to see you but you sent me something to sign. I was trying to make out what it was about. The word Arcadian was in the title. I know you were trying to do something good. Anyways, Sis. Thanks for the visit. I love you so much. 

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Hey, Sis. This is the worst snow KF has seen since we were kids. Of course it would happen during the Winter of Losing You. The sky wept for days, like it knew, like it missed you too. Do you remember that snowball fight in the field across from Grandma's? We stayed out for hours until the cold snuck in all at once, and I ran inside crying, my hands stinging like fire. You laughed at me, I can almost hear it. It felt like that again this morning. We were out shoveling at 5 AM, and the world was so still it echoed. I thought of you, and the cold reached my chest this time. I cried, but I didn't run inside. And you weren't here to laugh at me.

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I love you mom

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I was thinking today about the week after you left us. I kept hearing car alarms, so many, every day. They were so loud, even far away, like the world went quiet except for them. There was such urgency, like it was you panicking at what happened, trying to get my attention. I’d freeze, wanting to reach you. If that was you, Sis, I heard you. I love you. I think of you every day—I always did.

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I saw a poem this morning about drowning in the death of someone you love and still choosing to hold their life above water, refusing to let the world go on without them. I don't like when people say I'm strong in relation to losing you, because maybe it implies I'm not mourning enough (there's a lot they don't see), but if this is what they mean by strength, holding your life above water, then I'll take it. I wish you let me help you before we got that call, but you can't stop me from doing it now.

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I'm so sad about how hard your life was. I'm sad I didn't get to see you that day and that I didn't find you and that sometimes you didn't recognize me and there are just so many other things to be sad about. I love that you are my sister, though. I'm proud to say I am yours. Damn proud.

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Sounds like your driving improved, Sis. I remember you struggled with anxiety while driving, and the time you smashed into the car behind us at Safeway. If you spent more time with me, I guess I would've known you got so much better at it. I try not to be mad about that.

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Lol, I didn't know that Patty was notorious for being a bad driver. I thought that she was pretty good in the snow. Flying down the road in a piece of shit car, just watching everything.

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I was riding my bike a couple weeks ago and I was about to turn but I came up behind someone riding a bike. She looked like Patty so I just continued going forward. She had a bright red hoodie and black sweat pants on and her hair was in a bun like how Patty would wear. It reminded me of when Patty and I rode bikes. I had trouble keeping up with Patty in the beginning but got used to it. If I remember right, I think there was one time Patty had to turn around and kinda coax me. I was surprised that I wasn't able to keep up with her

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Well, the site is live now, Sis. I wonder if you would have liked it, or if you would have laughed. Probably both. 😆 I'll get some updates going about your scrapbooks and the bench we are putting up for you. A friend is sending me a beautiful urn necklace made of antler because I've been worried about my ring opening up when I'm doing dishes or something.

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I love you cuzin always and forever ❤️ I sure miss your smile and your warm hugs. You taught me so many thing I'll never forget! I'm proud to say that I'm the way I am today as a mother, friend, cuzin, sister, and person because of you!

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This song hits a bit different now, Sis.

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I saw the note you wrote to Mom. I sobbed and sobbed in the shower afterward. Your daughter copies a lot of things that I do. I remember when you used to do that. It's hard to get out of bed many days of the week lately. I'm really struggling with this. We got your scrapbooks from an old friend of yours, that was such a blessing. You are so beautiful in all of your photos from back then. I told my husband you were prettier than me. I think it's true.

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I am testing this again. I wonder if the formatting will be automatic. Probably not. We shall see. Wish me luck!

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I have this beautiful moonstone ring. I think you would have loved it. It carries your ashes. Or your bones, rather. I wonder what you would have thought about that. I wish you came back to us, Sister. This is so terrible.

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I ugly cry like every fucking day now. Jerk.

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I'm working on this website so we can all have a place to come to share our thoughts with you. Google is not making it easy. You probably would have laughed at how frustrating it is. I love you.

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I love you, Patricia. I had a dream about you yesterday. I got to hug you and it was so great. It felt so real.

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I love you, Sister.