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I am Sicangu Oyate of the Rosebud Reservation in Rosebud, SD.

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I am Sicangu Oyate of the Rosebud Reservation in Rosebud, SD.

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I was raised with the Lakota values that our people live by: Bravery, Generosity, Humility, Respect, and Fortitude. Respecting my elders was something I learned as soon as I was old enough. When we have a family gathering, or any gathering actually, elders are always fed first. Our elders are cherished because it is they who pass on the knowledge and wisdom of our ancestors. All of these things made me who I am today because of the culture and values that were instilled in me by my mother, grandmother, aunties, and older cousins. While I was not raised on the reservation, it still feels like home. We visited often and even moved to Utah from California so that we were closer to our family back home. When I go to a pow wow, and I hear those drums playing, I feel my ancestors with me. I am proud to be Lakota.

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While I no longer consider myself to be Mormon, I cannot ignore the fact that being raised in the religion made me who I am. Being taught right from wrong, choosing the right, and even modesty were all things that I came to understand at a very early age. At this point in my life, I have been gone for over 15 years, but the conditioning I received from this high-demand religion is still something I am unpacking and deconstructing. I was always a little rebellious. I would wear clothing I wasn't supposed to because it was "immodest". I would drink soda with caffeine in it, I would cuss at school around my friends, and when I was 21, I got pregnant. This was what ultimately led me to leave. The belief that I wasn't "worthy" to be a mother because I was not married in the temple. While some of these values still exist in my mind, I am in a place now where I am working to let go of those that no longer serve me.

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I love to sing! Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved to sing. I've done competitions and even won Salt Lake Idol in 2004 where I won a free trip to Las Vegas to audition for American Idol. I didn't make it past the producers, but it was still a fun experience.

After high school, there wasn't really anywhere for me to sing so when I turned 21, I started going to bars so I could sing karaoke. This led to a lifelong passion of singing karaoke and competing in karaoke competitions. I have won several, but when you get to bigger competitions, you find that most people are incredibly talented and it's not just people drunk-singing for fun. We are very serious about our singing, and even if we never become famous, we have a blast, and make lifelong friends who also love to sing.

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Not my picture, but a similar setup to how I was taught.

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Most people are shocked to find out I was homeschooled. I know it's because I don't fit the stereotypical "type" of person they expect to have been taught at home; which is to say that I am not socially awkward. On the contrary! I am very social. I am convinced the reason why I have good social habits is because we had a kind of coop of homeschooling families in our church ward. There were 5 families and we switched off going to different houses every week so I got socialization with kids who were not in my family every day of the week, and on Sundays at church.

I love the fact that I was homeschooled. I'm not talking about how Covid forced kids to do distance learning at home. That was NOT homeschool. Trust me. Homeschool is fun! We got to do hands on science experiments in elementary school. I got to read SO MANY books and then write reports on them. When I got a little older, my mom would let us choose things we wanted to learn and she always nurtured our curiosity. I know that's why I am so curious today. Because my mom instilled in me that it was okay to not know something and then go find out about it! I have a love of learning because of being homeschooled.

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Not only am I a woman, but I'm a woman of color. My mom is a feminist. My grandmother was, my aunties are, my cousins are. We should all be feminists! I believe that girls and women deserve to have equity. I am incredibly lucky to be surrounded by powerful women who are also feminists. I have found my people. These phenomenal women who lift each other up and cheer each other on. We support each other and fight for our rights as mothers and women. As the saying goes, "Women's rights are human rights". I would not be the woman, and feminist, I am today without the love and support of my mom, grandmother, aunties, and my dad. I love being a feminist. I love powerful women who believe that we should all be treated with dignity and respect.