# data[].attributes.headline
Panic Attack; A Loves Death and The End Of A Future AKA Forevermore In Vain

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Panic Attack; A Loves Death and The End Of A Future AKA Forevermore In Vain

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The heart beat ringing in my ears screams louder than any word ive ever known.

The tears plummeting down emotions I wish I never showed.

All the words I ever said to you now drowning me; Locked around my skin.

Was I wrong?

If you were amazing as I said then why does it hurt.

Promised forevers yet now I mean less than dirt.

My heart has never beat this loud before.

It isnt love. It isnt fear.

It isnt empty and it isnt clear.

Is it trying to explode?

Ringing fills my death-heard ears as I am plunged into the night,

Drowning in the tears I hide, so much for happy lives.

Future rings the knife I claimed, to give back to my heart,

But an inch away the blade it stays, my light has already gone dark.

Panic. Tranquilic and Unnerving terror. Grinding against my heart. Attacking all I hold dear.

Nothing.

Because I was wrong.

By some hellish twist, the truest thing ive ever felt or thought became unrealized within a breath.

That feeling haunts me. Truly. Though I know it shan't bother others the same.

The ringing of the slain,

The drowning of my life,

The ticking of the clock,

The ending of my time,

This panic an attack.

An attack on my heart and my love,

From my favorite of people,

Still trying to save ties,

Though ive only seen evil.

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Dont hold my hand.

Sure its easy.

Sure its nice.

But im scared.

Because every hand I've ever trusted,

To walk beside and hold,

Has soon dropped and stabbed me,

Whenever things got cold.

For easier to abandon me than to help me,

I've blamed myself all along,

Maybe I just wasnt enough,

Or never strong at all.

So dont hold my hand and dont love my heart.

It doesnt feel safe to know both.

Because everyone who has held my heart,

My happiness too,

Has ruthlessly broke it,

True love never knew.

For easier to forget my name,

Than stay by my side.

Maybe I am the problem,

So sick of hiding.

So say not you know me,

I dont want to know myself.

Atleast not in a world,

Where you put me through hell.

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Some days I wish it was easy,

To love myself as I love others.

Some Days I wish it was easy to hate.

That I could be ruthless and care not of the colors in the sky,

Not of the feelings of others or the looks in their eyes,

Not of the howling or echoing cries,

I wish I could hate,

If only for this night.

Theyve carved out my heart,

Though often I cry,

Still I forgive them,

This hells lullaby.

Somehow,

In this world,

I was always too nice.

So I wish it was easy to hate,

So you couldn't carve out my heart,

So you couldnt carve out my brain,

So you couldnt poison my eyes,

Or drive a stake to my mind.

Some days I wish it was easy,

To hate you as much as I hate myself.

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Its almost funny how quickly the ones you love can move on,

While you're still stuck in the pouring rain.

How quickly they forget you while you drown in their memories.

While you dance in the pouring rain of what once was,

Dreaming only of what could have been.

Its almost funny how much it hurts,

More than any blade thats ever met your skin.

When you love this hard and they turn away,

And in just a moment forget your whole name.

# data[].attributes.headline
Demonology; In Truth Dying (Unifinished, Started January 2025)

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Demonology; In Truth Dying (Unifinished, Started January 2025)

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Under mask and time,

Scars they hide.

Open now, he died while trying,

To find freedom and stop his bleeding.

The life he wants,

Just out of reach.

Bleeding and broken,

His death he preach.

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Only after the darkest point in your life may you begin to appreciate the light around you,

The colors of the ground and the emotions that surround the sky.

Only after the darkest point in your life may your soul finally mend,

Life is a novel, and this chapter is not the end.

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As the seasons change, people fall in and out of my life like the leaves before winter,

Depression sets in like the rain and freezing snow, killing me slowly inside my own head.

The days get shorter as I grow weaker.

But as the seasons do change I know spring will one day come, and maybe bring light back to this life.

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Whenever you know me you'll know that metal isnt empty.

That in the empty reflection people outside of my mind see,

Is hours of writing, of infinite stories. Of infinite tales and infinite glories.

Worn around my neck for all to see,

This dog tag necklace,

A secret for you and a secret for me.

If you knew me in light,

Your poem shine bright,

And around my neck proof of wondrous life.

But if you have hurt me,

This tag a dark night,

For you'll only see the face that cursed me.

So I wear it true,

A dark side of me for a dark side of you,

This metal will see it through.

For every dream a nightmare awoken,

This dog tag of mine a dreamers token.

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The dastardly evident result of a Conniving tricksters assualt in an anniversary massacre resulting in the death of a heart and dream" AKA "Spring Bleeding" (7-27-26)

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The dastardly evident result of a Conniving tricksters assualt in an anniversary massacre resulting in the death of a heart and dream" AKA "Spring Bleeding" (7-27-26)

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Every ounce of me wants to give up where I stand.

To turn in the darkness and fall out from hell.

I had a will and a dream,

And you stole it when you left.

Now the last words I'll ever hear are null,

And the ending itself was different in call.

For it seemed you didnt even care.

That at the end of it all

The end of that year,

You turned me back to the dark.

You forsaketh my name,

Though I would wait,

And somehow still its my fault.

So never again to see your face,

Knew it not that easy was I to replace,

As I fall into darkness once more.

My dreams they will haunt me,

Now dying awake.

Every thought seems like a wolf lie in wait,

As I plunge into pieces once more.

This light it will haunt me,

Now crying today.

Every dream a million away,

As I plunge into blades once again.

O hello to death my old friend.

But soon is it, when not I'll meet you.

I'll struggle in pain until at the end,

I'll try and I'll die for things that cant mend,

For once in my broken tomorrow.

So blade to my heart,

I thought I was dead,

I didnt know at the start,

That you hate me with lead.

Id die just to see happiness,

Oh what a life,

But somehow im reeling,

Sent fort to and strife.

I was the poison? Yet easily replaced?

Broken and battered while you walked just forth?

Forgotten in a moment; you show no remorse.

If i was important it would taketh its time,

In the end im seeing who cared and just of lies.

So tell me again those words you so like,

And dissapear forever you wish me to die.

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If you cant accept the truth in my thorns,

Say not you love me.

Broken and cast away,

Wilted and dying for many a day.

So a flower maybe, a rose in bloom.

White as snow, so seal my tomb.

But with ground uneasy,

These roots are caught,

My mind unsteady,

This doubt was taught.

So with this imbalance,

With these spotted thorns,

I hope only that you'll choose me still.

Because my life doesnt lie,

My heart does it bleed.

These thorns and my imbalance,

Are part of me.

And if you cant choose through that fact,

If you cant help me to steady ground,

Say not of this love which youve made me found.

For this rose in white was told a dream of love,

A dream it wished to take and live.

But quickest too was it ripped away by you,

For love saw not me but the flower;

The peace at the end of my storm, not the storm that made me.

So this rose that was told a dream of love,

Was turned crimson in a blink.

The promises that you made revoked,

So far my heart did sink.

If you cant accept the truth in my thorns,

Say not you love me,

Anymore.

# data[].attributes.headline
A Promise In Glass: To Fall In Love (7-27-26)

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A Promise In Glass: To Fall In Love (7-27-26)

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To Fall in Love,

With not the beauty of a flower.

From spring to late winter,

This heart should not splinter,

For true love savors the soul,

Not the body or moment.

From bloom to wither,

From happy to dust,

All that remains,

To love and not lust.

In life ever evil,

And when it is good,

To stand by their side,

As a true love would.

Through the pain and death,

Through the rain and storms,

To be their sun,

Love ever would.

So in this life. Ever so long.

To love the roots that keep us strong.

To Fall in Love,

With not the beauty of a flower,

But the life that built it.

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When Monster Becomes Man; Travesty and Sorrow (7-27-26)

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When Monster Becomes Man; Travesty and Sorrow (7-27-26)

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When is it that the monster becomes a man?

Is it when he tears off his claws and rips off his fangs?

Is it when he destroys himself for love to an indifferent person?

Is it when he restrains his arms to keep a promise after that person is gone?

Refusing to carve sorry into his arms of a monster so they may see it true?

When is it that a monster becomes a man?

Or is it only when that man becomes a monster.

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At the end of the world,

At the edge,

I find im still so lost.

I dont know how I got here,

And standing above the abyss,

I dont know who I am.

I dont know why I did this,

And staring into the abyss,

I start to question.

At the end of the world,

Standing at this edge,

What happens now?

Do I jump?

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How to betray the light in the stars,

Not wishing to hurt youve given me scars,

And walk forth forgetting my name.

So scarred and broken,

Ill mover on to,

Into brighter nights.

# data[].attributes.body
When the winter came and took my fire,

They swore my love was just of lies.

But I held that warmth,

That home you gave.

And waited here,

For 27 days.

Of struggling days,

And crying nights.

My love holds true and I'll win this fight,

And wait for you in forever.

For you, the angel of tomorrow.

So tired now, though its not the end,

I promised that id see you again.

I'll bring some gifts, though I harbor pain,

Hugs and love ring through my brain.

So when I see you, remember this.

Though I've suffered. Though I've seen pain.

I still chose you. Through storms and the rain.

At the end of it all. If only to choose.

You're the one thing I couldn't bear to lose.

So I'll stand by your side through the fire. I'll find your love in the smoke. And when that sunny day doth rise. I'll find my piece and my home by your side.

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Im struggling to be alone,

To live without my heart held close.

But as I see it you aren't the same,

You're perfectly fine; forgetting my name.

If I can be replaced then was it all lies?

Was i truly so wrong I deserved to cry?

In all of this doubt I feel only of pain,

An echoing sorrow rang forth through my brain,

As I fall to my broken tomorrow...

Giving up now under this sorrow.

But not did I give up my heart or my dreams,

I kept them and drew them so you could once see,

And still they exist with you there.

For I could never hate nor forget,

When the one person who gave me happiness went.

And if they came back then surely I'd cry,

Not of sorrow but with a smile.

Whether again to start,

Or here to not,

I prefer to see them again before rot,

And learn the truth of tomorrow.

# data[].attributes.body
I ended up losing the competition due to issues with my presentation skills and not being entirely prepared. Despite that I had a wonderful time and plan on going back to SkillsUSA as a Carpentry student next school year.

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Broken love when once was true,

It hurts to bear the sight of new.

It takes the start and crushes the end,

Not knowing if to ever live again.

It coils around the heart and eats,

Tearing the eyes as fear did meet.

So broken love, of love so true, is like a snake.

Burning and biting in me every day.

Because its venom says to feel hatred or lie,

But true love can't be damaged like that.

So still I hope for a day that will never come.

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Everything I've found, every scar I've gained.

I wish I could tell you.

In all of this pain and all of this sorrow,

Many of which you've caused,

But still I cannot hate you.

Still I love and keep my promises,

From now forevermore.

For this shattered heart had once swore.

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Underneath blistering sand this day I did weep,

Turning and twisting my mind at its weak.

So torn now and hurting so did I cry,

A hell torn scream through this deaths lullaby.

I sew now this body, now of these bones,

And I cry as I lose myself; my heart and my soul.

My soul it cries too from the echoing peaks,

One that fell soon to damaging storms.

My heart it cries out and still it does beat,

For you in the end—do you choose to reap?

# data[].attributes.body
I know I have a future,

Both unsteady and easy,

So take from this point,

Could you stay with me?

I know I have a life, I always have a plan,

But the only thing I want is the people I love,

To stand with me in the end.

I know there will be highs and lows,

That hells will always come and go,

But by the side of the ones I love most,

Still I could smile.

So wait for forever, wait for all time,

If only then could I finally try,

To show you the truth of my love,

And see you in the future, tomorrow.

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I may not believe in God's or Devils,

But I believed in you.

I may not trust the world or what's after,

But I've always trusted you.

I may not love myself or my history,

But I love you.

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I just wish to see you one last time.

Not to manipulate or deceive you,

Not ever to lie,

But to hold you once more,

And say how its alright.

Because even with all of this, and all of my pain,

I still forgive you.

And though that might be stupid, though I may be too much, I still just love you.

And if you're leaving I want a chance to say.

I want a chance to take my own fears away.

To know the truth, now though I may cry.

I would still smile it being real one last time.

So if you do wish to hurt me, if you do no longer care,

I beg you to let me rest before you go.

Still I will love you, its something I cant forget,

Because it was you, yes you,

Who dragged this heart out from its net.

So if its the end, or the break until a beginning,

I want to leave on good things. And if not, then i atleast want to know.

So please could you show me, talk to me one last time,

I beg of you to cast this death now from my eyes.

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Wish not to hurt me yet thats all you've done as of late,

I see now this storm and accept my lowly fate.

Wish not to hurt me yet it seems you never cared,

Now burning in this life but hurt you id never dare.

So I can write it or say it a million times,

But knowing you'll never listen im dying inside.

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With every tool in the world.

With every mere fact that we're alive.

Everything we could have done to do it right,

All the things you could have told me.

But with every tool in the world,

Every fact that we're alive.

You choose to hurt me,

Whilst still I choose you.

So to only wish that you said.

To only see that you're okay.

Because you can hurt me a thousand times,

With this broken heart of mine.

But still id choose to stand by your side,

So only wish to see you one last time.

And hug you before I fall.

Because at the end of every day,

Even when I cant see you,

Even when it brings me great pain,

I still choose you.

Not for forever. Not for myself.

Because you're you and thats always been enough.

So even if I cant tell you this love, know that I still care.

# data[].attributes.body
With my heart held bare.

At the end of this story,

At the end of the gale,

Who knew it was so wrong to care?

# data[].attributes.body
I may be bad at writing,

A dream undone at the start.

I may be bad in life,

But still I try.

I may die some day,

But still I'll be remembered.

Because in every letter a piece of art to the people who wish to hear,

And now seeing surely that people are near.

So no longer alone in the dark,

I dream this dream at this mark,

As lost I found my tomorrow.

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So attest to this vessel, in all of my pain,

Still to live I try too from this ice,

And burn my heart for bleeding rain,

As I make my way to tomorrow.

Alone in a room of those I knew,

But surrounded by love and friends found true.

So different in a world of betrayal,

I use this ink if only to love,

As I stab at the heart that beats.

So taken from my home I fled,

Darkness surrounding that familiar dream,

I shred this life at its seam and start it all anew,

To all an artists sorrow.

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It's true that I need you,

That theres a hole in my heart.

But I wont let you kill me,

Took now from the start.

I'm an artist by choice,

A lover so too.

But I wont let that kill me,

Ill just start all anew.

Im hurting more than ever,

But still I dream.

So take this hand forth,

And tear at life's seams.

For back and remember,

There's always better dreams.

So took from today, and into the night,

I refuse to let you breed spite in the heart of this life.

Hurting. Burning surely. I'll continue to live for those true.

Because I'm human, and I refuse to forsake you.

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The Circus of Time; Oh So Smile In Night; The Song Of A Puppet Torn Now From His Life; He But I, Broke Forth and He Cries

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The Circus of Time; Oh So Smile In Night; The Song Of A Puppet Torn Now From His Life; He But I, Broke Forth and He Cries

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I dream of a world where my suffering leads to happiness in the end,

But know not his fate this puppet did lend,

Of everything he had this pain wouldnt mend.

So helpless and unstringed he did pretend,

But okay in time was he but I.

Who knows the game in life tarnished lies,

So sent now from fire borne into dead night.

# data[].attributes.body
Im human. Just like all of you.

Mistakes are normal,

Imperfections too.

So yes I messed up,

I know it is true,

Ive suffered my sorrys,

if only for you.

Ive changed and ive fought myself,

Ten thousand lives away.

But still not can you see,

The human just in me,

The person I'll always be.

For human is flawed but its enough just to try,

To see and say sorry for the spite that you've tied.

It's enough just to talk and seek to forgive.

So try as you might ive chosen now just to live.

# data[].attributes.body
What is writing?

Why must it lead to all of this fighting?

If the world fell to silence, if only today,

We woke up with no cars or music to play,

If we heard not a squeak on any near street,

Who's to say we could be happy?

If the birds couldn't sing,

So taketh their wings,

O' silent in a cruel tomorrow.

But cruel is today as we fight all this way,

With the pen that was made as a Matyr.

If the world was just nicer, if only today,

If we woke with just smiles and hugs and the so,

If darkness proved light and rain of clear days,

So why must we all just fight in this way?

If we just had a smile,

O' ever so true,

If we saw the good in things o peaceful tomorrow.

But cruel is today as we fight all this way,

With the feelings we shouldn't harbor.

# data[].attributes.body
The man who died yesterday came back in tomorrow.

So riding back from a life of pain and tragedy,

I seek only for my love.

Seeing not that love I found,

I rode into the night.

Seven long days with no food or sleep was the man's fault to say,

But on the eighth he did do work to stay.

He saw his friend within the same night,

They fought through the dark and they sheltered their light.

For now knowing strong enough for tomorrow,

They rode to the day knowing what was to follow.

So riding back from a life of pain and tragedy,

I seek now just myself.

But I do wish upon every star that the people I love are happy.

# data[].attributes.body
Love can't be replaced,

Not this.

It twists all around me and grips at my life,

Not hurting or breaking like the edge of this knife,

But calm. Peaceful. Felt home in this life.

Now I only wish to tell you that I am okay,

That in all of the smoke I feel not of pain.

Only longing, for you to turn my way,

So I can see through the smoke that you are okay.

Because this love holds true,

If only for you.

Not hurting me, only wishing you are happy.

And if that love is broke then surely id cry,

But still I wish you only happiness in life.

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Hate me all you want,

Under the moon and stars above,

Under rocks and rain of dove,

When darkness' blades kill that of love,

I'll suffer if it makes you happy.

# data[].attributes.body
When in times of darkness,

Like a knife in the moon,

I am stabbed down and wounded,

My heart bleeding true.

For in my freedoms and tries to write,

It seems I've damaged you.

So I am sorry,

But hatred cant fix this pain.

Hatred or sorrow,

All the things that come easy when hearing the words said,

All the things that the many embrace when theyre betrayed,

Fix not of this pain.

So though in my pain,

When I cant bear to swallow,

When it hurts just to stand,

I still choose to love.

Because I wish not to hurt you.

# data[].attributes.body
Things fall apart,

They always do.

History repeats itself,

This hell is only true.

But things can be fixed,

And we can fall together.

For in this heart so now still,

In this nightmare I wake to,

From these dreams of love once had,

In this life I say to you,

Remember just,

I love you.

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The book i could write,

About all the things id change,

Could never be short,

Or be rearranged.

But in those words,

Within those page,

Not a single line that spoke of your name.

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I know I wont last forever,

But I want to last tonight.

So I pray for the night to last,

To have a minute before the clock changes and the sun does rise,

So I pray that I dont lose you.

And if this dreary night does end,

If tomorrow is lost and I couldn't defend.

Know its okay.

# data[].attributes.body
The ground will eat my soul some day,

And I'll fade away to dust in the rain.

But until then im here to stay,

To experience joy and all of my pain.

I'll stand on the ground on my own two feet,

And see the world clearly its eyes I did meet.

I'll learn and I'll try,

And though I may fail,

I lived this life and thats all of my tale.

Because living was enough.

So I'll live and I'll try,

Even when I cry,

Because I still want to be me in tomorrow.

So happy or sad,

Whether im good or im bad,

To all an artists good sorrow.

As I pave my own path to tomorrow.

And though the tale is forever and the rain is unending,

I'll find in this spiral and pierce through the gale.

I'll take up my pen and I'll write,

With blood and tears,

With hate and spite,

With the smiles and drinks I'll share in my life.

But still I'll write and I'll tell this tale,

So took from the ground and straight through the gale,

My tempests tale was soon to prevail,

To all an artists tomorrow.

# data[].attributes.body
Some day I'll return to the ground.

Some day. Somehow.

It'll all be for not.

So with these wings I wish to fly.

High above the sky.

To feel the warmth along my heart,

As I fly through the day and into the night.

And as the moon grasps my heart I'll smile,

Knowing the dark is real.

Because warmth is human and so is cold.

So now I know to live is to live and die,

To smile and suffer,

To love and be forgotten,

But to live all the same.

So if I must return to the ground one day,

Let life's light behead me and die happy,

Knowing I could be proud of this me.

# data[].attributes.headline
To Leave is to Bear Sorrow, To Stay is to Sow It

# data[].attributes.subject
To Leave is to Bear Sorrow, To Stay is to Sow It

# data[].attributes.body
I can forgive, and I hope for forgiveness.

But I can never forgive myself, and I can never forget.

Because some things, I want to keep. I want to cherish.

But sometimes I break things and I hurt the people around me.

So part of loving as much as I do right now. Is to let things go. No matter how much I need them.

# data[].attributes.headline
An Artist and A Monster, A Human and A Heart, When the World Didnt Move 

# data[].attributes.subject
An Artist and A Monster, A Human and A Heart, When the World Didnt Move 

# data[].attributes.body
I'm an artist and a monster,

I never learned to sow, to mend.

So tell me. Could we fix it together?

I wish I could take, all the holes in the story,

All the words I didnt say,

And patch this love back together.

But I'm only an artist.

I know not how to mend.

How to fix.

So please, could you teach me?

Help me to make it okay,

How to be happy another day.

I wish I could take, all the holes in the story,

All the words I didnt say,

And patch this love back together.

But im scared im a monster,

That I'll tear it all apart,

And ill lose the one thing thats healing my heart.

All because im a failure with fear.

So. Please. If theres something I can do.

Take my hand. Show me how.

Show me that theres light in me too.

Because an artist is a writer of sorrow,

And a monsters claws only deserve to turn on itself,

And take it from this world.

So share, please. How to mend this life. So I may move onto the next with her.

Because these hands, stained and clawed. Break and shiver in fear of tomorrow.

In fear of a tomorrow where they know not of love.

And if my ink had stained it, if these claws have hurt you, then tell me what to do.

Because I may be an artist, and I might just be a monster. But I'm also me. And if thats enough, then I want to be there. I want to change and make tomorrow real.

The tomorrow where I share this love,

Where there is no fear,

And we smile together.

Because an artist writes of sorrow, only when he's experienced happiness. A happiness you gave me.

Because a monster is born with claws, with teeth and words to rip at the heart. But every monster is just a thing or a person thats misunderstood. And I felt a love that I couldn't bear to hurt.

So if im just an artist or if im just a monster,

Then I want to be better for you.

If a poem is real,

It came from the heart.

If a heart is real,

It feels of love.

If love is real,

It would know.

And I think I know, and I hope, only now, that you could feel the same.

# data[].attributes.body
Being afraid of the dark hurts more, when you're afraid of being alone.

When light is far away, when theres no one to talk to.

No goodnight to put you to rest.

---------------------------------------------

So in the dark I lay,

Water pouring from my eyes,

The light I once had; torn from my life.

But still in this dark I hope,

For a brighter night,

After the smoke.

So I plunge into tears,

And I steer my life.

Away from this hell,

And through all this strife.

Hoping that my struggle,

Will lead me back home.

To you, in your arms,

Where ill rest and dream a smile.

---------------------------------------------

So. In this nightmare. In this dark.

I find only, that I miss you.

I am afraid that the world itself is falling apart.

And surrounded by the dark, bleeding myself,

Im still thinking about you.

I am afraid that youre not okay.

If I dream this smile, this far away from you,

Could Fate paint it on your face,

And let us dream of together once more?

So far away now it stings,

But still my heart beats for you.

So at the end of this night,

To see you in the day.

To stand by your side and smile,

Knowing that you're there.

When time stops and the darkness tears.

For I'd be happy.

My struggles would be worth this pain.

For it'd lead me back to light.

And in your arms,

Id smile. And drift slowly into a good night.

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Of These Claws; Fox of The Burning Forest (6-7-26)

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Of These Claws; Fox of The Burning Forest (6-7-26)

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The pain of being a dreamer,

The pain of being thoughtful,

Is that every nightmare is a lifetime.

Every thought a wolf in the night,

They come quick and whence they strike,

They break the world itself in two,

Killing now they bite of you.

So when I stride myself to sleep,

I live another life in terror.

Of the future I fear and the regrets I harbor,

I suffer every night under light of a dreamer.

But when I wake I try my best,

To live a life different from the rest,

To be that light I wish I knew,

Before I stole my death from truth.

So with every thought its as a knife,

It carves my soul, death of trying,

For an artists pain is bloody ink,

Within that pen I did sink.

So with every slumber, a nightmare close,

Bringing pain I wish not to boast,

For a dream of plenty would hurt me too,

So maybe im broken, maybe its true.

So in pain I wait for a dream,

To return home and stand on two feet,

Where laying still I would smile.

To have no stress in a day is a wish I could never gain,

But I did.

Now knowing that feeling, ever so far.

I sit here and question just who you are.

In the mirror I see in front of me.

The monster now man broken to be.

So nightmares I live every day,

I hate myself and I hate this pain,

I wish not to hurt those around me,

But I cant stop my heart from bleeding.

So nightmares and people I cant save,

Im sorry in blood from far away,

For I've locked myself inside

So people that I've hurt,

Not did I wish to leave pain,

To be your nightmare within the day.

So to this monster in the mirror,

I see your claws and I have no fear,

So turn them against ourselves.

Be the nightmare within the day,

To yourself unwritten we did do the same.

Be the dream to those you protect and keep them safe,

For love and care is this heart's only gain.

As it bleeds for us a dying song in the rain.

And when the rain ceases,

When the sun does it rise.

My nightmare may come a dream just in time.

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Why must the best things come to rest,

While the bad is forever.

Why must happiness fade and loneliness take,

From now this lonely night.

Of crying days and tired nights,

I find my heart now brings me blight.

For the thing it wants is ever so out of reach,

It cries in fear that it'll stop to beat.

Now living slow but trying best,

This scalding sorrow my biggest test.

So when my heart doth splinter,

When my warmth was taken by summers winter,

I remembered it all.

The days and seconds that spoke of forever.

The happiness gifted by my world.

I smile in my dreams though broken when I woke,

Knowing you're gone.

I cry all of my days but still I hope,

That you'll return.

And if you dont,

Then still I'll try.

For I promised not to die or lose myself,

But to lose my heart stings more than I wish.

So stuck in the past and in fear of the future I wait,

Hoping I'll find my answer when I see your face.

And stop,

Not to question, but to smile,

Knowing I have found.

So know just this.

Though I harbor pain,

I trust just to gain,

This future with that I can see.

Though now struggling so,

This still is my goal,

To stand by you now in tomorrow.

So hear of my storm-shaken sorrow,

And know that through this pain,

Through the smoke and abyss,

So far away now,

I love you.

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Loss. The worst of pain.

For who finally found heaven.

An angel above.

Was soon scared to lose them,

And fall out of love.

For knowing his love would hold,

And waiting so still.

He was scared to be hated,

And tears they did spill.

So he tore it away from himself,

And plunged into hell.

If it meant just to save her,

It was worth all the pain.

So with one wish. To fly again. He waited.

In fear of drowning. Every day.

He hoped that in time things could be okay.

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The Darkness which tears at our light.

The fear and unknowing,

My eternal blight.

The Light which keeps me living,

The home you’ve given,

The love and my life.

So surrounded by hate,

When home is far away.

I’ll smile and remember,

All of the times we’ve shared.

I’ll sing a song attest to the day,

And wish for tomorrow,

For you I will wait.

So full of hope and light,

Surrounded by dark and pain,

I’ll continue to be the night.

In a world of dark and pain,

Of death and fear,

Our darkest bright.

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Waiting, For Hope and Love; Away with Dark and Pain (5-27-26)

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Waiting, For Hope and Love; Away with Dark and Pain (5-27-26)

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Within my heart.

A crack, a hundred.

Burning slowly,

Away at my life.

Doesn’t it bleed,

But light doth slip,

And hope does fade.

So wait for forgiveness.

Wait for all time.

But waiting it pains me,

So now and I cry.

And I dream of tomorrow,

Return to bright times,

And smile once more with light in my life.

So within my heart,

Now hope and love,

For what of tomorrow,

Despite pain I’ll try.

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A pen once told to forever write,

Now drags itself in blood,

Pain from sight.

Of stories told new and broken too.

Dragged from blood, this pen it runs,

Of the end of it all; the bullet befalls.

Stories end and bodies they break,

For this pen since felt truth of heartache.

Killed by family never of ink,

Now writing in blood its mind did sink.

Stories to scribbles; from fables to cries,

Too crazy was once, to meet at the eyes,

Avoiding it still til once and it died.

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When the mind itself plunges forth into dark,

Bleeding. Slowly. This ink a cry.

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Taking this design to Skills tomorrow!

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Had to rework some colors where the color had fallen through due to using ink brushes and make a few last second font revisions.

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Vesper wakes up and lifts her head, the autumn sun gazing back into her eyes as she faces the sea, looking into the reflection of the morning waves into her blue eyes before turning around to view her surroundings. Still in her kayak, but now the kayak stands high upon broken rocks and rough sand on the beach of an unknown island. Turning her head to the horizon, the ocean behind her and the forest ahead, she ponders what she should do next.

Slowly lifting her leg up and out of the kayak before jumping forward to a nearby rock on the beach, catching herself with perfect balance before nimbly leaping to another nearby rock.

Vesper carefully dropped down from the rocks, feeling the scorching sand smoothly press against the soles of her feet. A feeling of bliss, a feeling of freedom, a release of emotions floods Vesper, years of being chained down by her people and now she is free, but a single thought troubles her, “Where will I go now?” she asks herself, before looking into the tree line, seeing the animals running free across paths and trails cleared of vegetation. Walking across the hot grainy sand and onto the soft layer of grass at the base of the trees towering over her, her ears tuning into the sound of the birds chirping, the wind in the trees, and the sea crashing behind her, she moves forward. The smell of the forest and the sea clashing as the smell of the waves and gale soon turn into the smell of vegetation and roaming animals. So many new things, so many new activities, Vesper runs, following the dirt trail and jumping over rocks and vines that block her path, she looks to her left while she runs and sees a doe running alongside her on the other side of the trees. So this is the outside world, she thinks. It’s beautiful, but then suddenly, she stops running and watches the deer pass her with tears running down her face. “This is wonderful, I am free” she stops to catch her breath, her tears falling even harder, “but at what cost, what of my friends, what of my family, what if they are to come looking for me?”

“But I’m free, I can do and go wherever I want” Vesper wipes the tears from her eyes and continues running, faster now, trees blinking past her as the wind presses against her in her sprint. Birds chirping and animals running alongside her, the shadows of the trees lining her path on the trail. But soon enough the shadows fade, as Vesper runs out into a long field, one lined in hills and houses. A vast expanse of fine, luscious crops and grass lining fields of golden wheat under an Auburn evening sky.

Vesper skips through the tall grass and down the hill excitedly before jumping over a broken wooden fence and unto a stone trail patterned in dirt and gravel upon cobblestone and clay. Lifting her head up and gazing upon the blue skies, where flocks of birds majestically fly above, some black, some white, making a checker patterned V as they fly across the sky for migration for the incoming winter. She gazes at the sight, this is the first time she has seen so many birds at once, only ever seeing few birds and even then those birds were killed for food during hunting season on the island.

Lowering her head Vesper spotted a structure that was peculiar to her, what looks like a giant castle, with towers and building stopping over a massive wall of unknown lengths, and as she set her eyes on the door to the castle, she had noticed people entering and exiting the bustling city gates.

She ponders what she saw while she walks along the trail throughout the fields, “should I go there? Will those people be kind? Or will those people be as bad as the townsfolk on devils mark?”

She finally figures it out… she starts running to the city, hungry, and lonely, wishing upon fate for the people she meet to be generous enough to share some of their prey and maybe an outfit or two.

Running through the paths, under the raging sun, her tattered clothing being pricked by bushes and blades of shrubs pushing up above the tall lengthy grass that lines the field between her and the castle. Running fast and heavily, pushing her entire body forward with her, wooden fences passing quickly as she runs along the path. Faster and faster Vesper runs, leaping over all the obstacles in her path before slowing down. Vesper stands there for moments before running over and hiding behind a tree.

She puts her ear up to the side of the tree, the rough bark against her face as she hides. She listens to the townsfolk talk as they enter and exit the city, being cautious as not to let them see her nearby.

“I am finally here” she tells herself….

“then why, why can’t I bring myself to go there?”

She sits down, still hiding behind the tree mere meters west of the castle gate. The grass and roots around the tree pressing up against her legs as she sits.

“Why can’t I go? What is this feeling? Is it the people?

“No” Vesper tells herself

“I miss home, even if it was terrible, my heart misses it, the people, my friends, that small sense of familiarity, and more than anything, I miss Koiya…”

She lifts her arm slowly and quietly wipes her eyes of tears that were beginning to form.

“I told her I would bring her with me!” she yells at herself. But just then, Vesper turns around frightened, a death tightened look upon her face, only to see two men, towering over her, in black cloaks and metal armor. The guards that were at the gates moments before had ran into the shallow treeline and now stand just seconds away from Vesper.

“A thief? At this time of day?” one of the guard says to the other, “Who are you? Why are you here?” the other guard asks.

“My name is Ves-” Vesper is frozen, “What do I say? How do I explain my situation? I must look like a simple thief!”

“Your name is what? Speak up!” The guards yelled.

Vespers eyes begin to tear up as she begins to speak again, going against her own will to try and explain what’s going on.

“My name is Vesper…. As for why I’m here my village was wiped out, and I am in search of a new home… Please… Help me…” She says as her tears begin to pour down her tired face.

The guard inspects Vesper, handwoven clothing that’s been torn while Vesper traveled, her only item on hand being a small necklace and what seems to be a bloodied dagger.

The guards first thought is that Vesper is not but a lowlife thief from the city, an idea which is then reinforced by Vesper’s story…

The second guard goes forward to speak, “Fine, we’ll help you.”

“Thank- Thank You!” Vespers face lights up as she wipes the tears off her face with her sleeve.

But in the same moment, the second guard grabs Vesper and puts handcuffs on her… Swinging her into the tree and pinning her up against the wall in case she had resisted her arrest.

Her blue eyes wandered, as did her thoughts, she was playing through every single way she could kill these two men… but in the end she had decided to give up. Not because she hadn’t a way to overpower the guards, rather that she hadn’t wanted to stir more troubles for herself by assaulting city officials in this newfound land.

As she looks to the ground, the tears she had wiped away coming back and running down her face. She feels the cold grasp of the handcuffs around her wrists as she is dragged along.

“This is hell… all these people, all these children, seeing someone as strong as me dragged away in tears, through the city gates and through the crowds of people…. Why is it me… Why is it me who has to experience such humiliation… I just got free and now they’re trying to lock me away.”

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For not if sky falls,
For if sky fades.
Of broken time,
Throughout the glades.

Of where she rest,
And how she dies,
A secondary fracture in time,
One saw true by a million eyes.

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Jester. Traveler. Gypsy.

He took his own life in the night.

Heavenly. Traveling. Preacher.

He vowed to show him the light.

But family comes,

And withered it goes.

Tired of it and scared to show,

His pain within the night.

So raging and crying,

His heartfelt storm,

Tore him from the path to tomorrow.

So he lay in his grave,

So vicious he says,

Was family to a man.

They tore out his chords,

Said say no more words,

And broke his future; tomorrow.

So says final goodbye,

As he dies in his eyes,

Broken before his tomorrow.

So in all of his lies,

Broke forth and he cries,

All of an artist’s sorrow.

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John D Rockefeller Career Center, New Cumberland, West Virginia

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Of Summer Starset; En Evening Bright (6-13-25)

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Of Summer Starset; En Evening Bright (6-13-25)

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Gatlinburg Tennessee

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Weirton WV

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Of Auburn Falls; In Woods Held Mighty (3-14-25)

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Of Auburn Falls; In Woods Held Mighty (3-14-25)

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Tomlinson Run State Park WV

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Outside of the Benedum Center for The Performing Arts, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 

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Une nuit lumineuse dans la ville des lumières (10-18-25)

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Une nuit lumineuse dans la ville des lumières (10-18-25)

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Could I howl at the moon as a way to be dangerous?

Could I ruin the prairies as an attempt to be free?

Could I chew through these chains now?

Oh what it is to be me.

As a wolf high chained,

By the son of a hound,

Who’s hurting the goddess above the stars.

Did not deserve of it I to be chained to this post,

Never a scene nor sight could I of boast,

Of tortures and screams and much great pain,

Oh small wolf,

Oh my chains.

Could I break them just once to show that I can be free?

That id be fine and just joyful without hound’s teeth in me.

Could I run through great prairies and laugh at the moon?

Or is this Hound of goddess torturing my final tomb.

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With knowledge of the world,

Comes forth will to hate it.

As you learn more the understanding fades,

And as the modern world of empty mind and hollow sky falls upon you it all seems for naught.

With knowledge of the world, Of humans,

Comes forth the will to destroy.

How could one thing, built upon years of ingenuity and genius be so utterly vile?

If human, say no.

For you are the thing that strays from the truth.

That lies to yourself in the dark when you I and yourself are the true monsters.

If human, say no.

For you are the thing that holds back the very notion of peace.

That hurts and kills because she said he said when really its all of nothing.

If human, say no.

For you are the only animal that can sit behind mask and force everyone to work below you.

Constantly commandeering man’s own life—man’s own death,

Not out of helpfulness or a will to be kind, but to protect your secrecy and continue vile.

If human, say yes.

Because you are the problem.

[Note: This does not apply to all people, I wish not to upset.]

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In a world of black and white,

A world of dust and gray,

You are my color for all of my days.

You paint the night sky as it shines and fades,

You make my days happy, my guilt fall away.

In this world of dust,

Of ice and times dire,

You are yourself, my only fire.

In this world of black and white,

Of which I made through horrid sights,

You find me still and show me light,

Oh dear of mine.

Of love you give,

And whence I take,

Forever yours.

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Would you hate me?

If I broke a promise.

If it wasn’t my choice that I’ve gone and lost it,

If suffering slowly, and dying in pain,

I forgot of words love and my life found in vain.

If it wasn’t my choice and I couldn’t explain,

If wandering alone, and scared of the rain,

I broke surely under blood and much strain.

If I broke.

Would you hate me?

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Though I refuse to bleed asunder,

It leaves me all the same.

My blood. My heart. And even my own name.

It leaves me shortly as I lose my breath,

This monster to kill me if only I jest.

It tears me open. It’s hellish words. Aiming to kill.

Everything pouring out from my wounds,

Of mental pain and soon my tomb.

I promised not,

To tear myself asunder.

But this family hell; my greatest blunder.

Hurting me more than blade of a knife,

The greatest pain I’ve felt in my life.

Of family rotted,

Of family dead,

This monster has killed me,

Both mental and stead.

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Oh, could it be just, to fly as an angel?

Above the world? Above all its cries?

Away from the people? Away from their lies?

To where it is free,

Up in the sky.

Could it be just? To escape when I must?

Before dying so? To all of hate?

To run for freedom before death of fate?

Could it be only just?

Would you hate me?

When the world brings only suffering,

Of endless cries,

Man must learn to fly,

To deafen silence and take to sky,

Letting out not of his cry.

Not of his tears,

For a man shall fall before letting out a cry or story.

Dying shortly, falling dead under the false of glory.

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Chapter Four, Life is Death and Death is Life

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Chapter Four, Life is Death and Death is Life

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I see the sea in the distance, the vast expanse that covers this world, the wonderful sea, the unknown…

But it is not water that I see in my sea, but blood… blood rushing across a wasteland, a sea of blood with fish of corpses and coral of bone..

Everything, all of it, all of the memories, they are gone…. The sky is grey and the world is black and white…

“Why must it hurt so much” the girl asks her mother, but there is no answer… and as the girl turns around she realizes that even her mother is dead now…. A long dead corpse holding her with bony hands and the smell of death along a cold breath.  Broken and Bleeding; the curse of death always follows.

“Thy shall bring death upon their path. Thou shall never die yet never live. Along your path the living are dead and the dead are living, that is your blessing and your people’s curse.”

Time reverses… The blood flows back into the point it started, the corpses once again become the living, and the bones become the animals they once were…. The wasteland the girl stood upon once before was now a forest full of massive trees blocking out even the evening sun.

And the point where she had been sitting upon with her mother moments before had transformed into a village. Her mother’s bones had became flesh, her skull regained her smile.. The bones that were piercing her skin soon coming back into place. The cold turnt into warmth as the illusion faded. “But was it an illusion? It felt so real… Am I losing my mind?” the girl spirals as she looks up from her mother’s hand to her kind face.

“Are you alright Roselyn?” Roses mother asks.

But just then pain circulates around her body— Open cuts… one after another… scars are opened and flesh is torn… blood pours out upon the floor, but her mother does nothing. Silently watching, repeatedly asking if she was okay….. The more she says it… The more of an echo there is.  Voices stacked on voices echoing her very words through her head. The blood keeps flowing; A bright crimson death dragged out upon the stone floor. She wants to shout, to scream, to let out the pain of dying…. But her mouth is torn, from one side of her mouth to the other as if her skull was brutally pierced open with knives.

“So this what it is… To save them… To save my people… My friends… And they are leaving me here to die… Helpless and hopeless, yet they sit and laugh to each other and wear a smile across their faces… as if my pain doesn’t exist.”

The blood continues to pour, now lining the entirety of the floor…. By now Roselyn’s mother has long left the room, careless to the situation, going off to eat at the shop. As Roselyn sits there… blood fills the room. Covering the floor, and then her legs… followed by her torso…  burning the cuts that line her body… an unimaginable pain. As if her blood was being syphoned like water from the drain of a pool. Blood exiting into blood. Filling the room. Higher and higher. The crimson enveloping the spruce along the walls and the paintings that had once loomed above the furniture… but the blood doesn’t cease, it continues to rise. Soon covering Roselyn’s head.

But just as Roselyn begins to choke on her blood… it turned black…. Darker than anything Roselyn has ever seen. And in that moment, her head is submerged in the abyss, and everything goes dark.

She is awoken, surrounded by cobblestone flooring and columns leading to various shrines around her, and as she looks ahead, the autumn sun looks back. Rising  upon day in Tekemona, a world where hell and heaven, past and future, infinity and null, have all collided in disfigurement, to create a realm of nothingness.

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Chapter Three, An Offer and A Magician, Part Two

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Chapter Three, An Offer and A Magician, Part Two

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The wind howls as the girl runs through the forest, something rustling the bushes behind her as if she’s being chased, she runs faster and faster, trying to escape but something leaps out of the bushes, and tackles her.

“Are you going to kill me too?” She yells.

She scrapes free and runs, through the forest filled mountainside, fear fills her mind as she trips and scrambles for safety, to run, to live, to be free is everything to this girl, she must survive. Her thoughts collide, to live, to fear death, to fear life?

“What’s happening?! Why can’t I run? Why can’t I move?” She shouts, but no words exit her mouth, only unrecognizable sounds of a distant terror within her mind.

“Please, someone….. anyone..... Save me!” she hurriedly thinks to herself as she hears the beast near, it’s otherworldly shouts being unclear to the girl.

The girl finds her breathing short, and her body heavy… as she falls to the ground, surrounded by autumn leaves and golden trees.

Awoken once again, but the beast isn’t to be found, the sounds distant and fewer. She runs for her home, stumbling through the dark where light had stood before she had fallen.

The forest is silent, more silent than it’d ever been. A silence so loud that one would be thought dead… but in the moment that silence is broken the girls vision goes red as her ears begin to ring. With blood pouring from her eyes as she looks up at the moon above her, she see’s her reflection staring back, her blue eyes being corrupt black, her face shattered like stone, and her hair running down as barbed wire…. She saw the moon in the eyes of the reflection, a crimson red moon so dark yet so bright, blood pouring through the sky, corrupting the seas. It rings, again and again, like a siren played directly into her ears. She is terrified. She lowers her eyes from the sky and runs back to the village, back to her home, her family, and everyone else. She runs through the bushes and across the trails towards the sight of the village, a blood red sky painting the picture of death in her mind.

Run,

Run

RUN!

Before she has time to think she hears the beast behind her once again and runs, tears of blood blinding her as she runs for her home, but as she nears the village, she sees blood dragged across her door, across her home, and across the streets she had dear memories of… She walks through the door of her home, through the blood and broken glass along the floor… Only to see everything was destroyed, golden children’s toys she and her friends had once played with, the floors they had once run across, and within all this chaos, all this destruction, she had found her mother’s body upon the wooden floor of the main hall…. Tipped on her side, gashes lining about every inch of her clothing and blood pouring out of her corpse…. The girl looks down, not knowing what’s going on, it feels like a nightmare, the worst nightmare she had ever experienced…. As she looks down she notices that the blood has spread from her mother’s corpse, and is now drenching her shoes, spiraling up her clothing and filling up her lungs… She chokes and reaches for the sink but as her eyes clear up, she is once again sitting in her chair, looking into the mirror, when she hears the monster again, but now she knows, as her head lifts up she meets eyes with the monster…. It was Selina, her dearest friend… Her only friend and her only family….. The monster she had been running from, herself.

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Chapter Three, An Offer and A Magician, Part One

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Chapter Three, An Offer and A Magician, Part One

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The sun overlooks the mountains, covered in trees and snow, animals living gracefully in the protection of the mountains’ vast forests, deep caves, and luscious plains in the valley.

This mountain also happens to be home of one of the most advanced civilizations on this side of Sarcon, from the outside it looks like any other town, rows and rows of plain wooden and stone houses, but from the inside of the cave tit is seen that there are forges full of molten iron, rows of machinery and weapons, with everything from children’s toys to guns for other countries, but surrounded by all this machinery of war, is a young boy running a small shop full of artwork and simple wooden machinery.

One of the steel workers shout, “Get out of here Dimitri. Unless if you are going to help with the real business.”

It was Dimitri’s brother—  He was nine years older than Dimitri and towered above him. Despite this fact, Dimitri refuses. He follows his passion as much as he can and his brother will be the last one to tell him not to.

“I am helping, Eren, if anyone’s not helping it’s you, for trying to shut down one of the most successful people in the family.” Dimitri snaps back.

Eren begins to speak again, angered, and leaning closer to Dimitri to intimidate him, “You haven’t had a single customer in three whole months! Successful?! Me and father make more money simply operating our machinery! You haven’t a clue how far we’ve come, and I will not allow you to make a mockery of this family’s legacy!” He shouts.

Despite being frightened, Dimitri stands his ground. He knows his brother is wrong. Eren has worked in the district with his father for little over a decade now yet only Dimitri knows what these tools are used for. So Dimitri lashes back, “You’re killing people brother! Your machinery is used for murder! I’ve seen it with my own eyes, down in the valley! The people fight and fight, body after body falls to the ground, killed by your machinery!” but his brother doesn’t believe him.

Eren scoffs and walks off… back to the forge… back to the killing….

As Eren walks away, his back turned to Dimitri, Dimitri screams his final words, “You are killing people Eren, go out into the world and find for yourself the gore and distraught that comes from your technology. Please, brother!  Hide in the dark no longer! We have to stop this torture! Together!” But Eren doesn’t listen, his ears shrouded in his own thoughts.

He goes back to the Forge and continues his lifeless work, creating machine after machine, weapon after weapon, unknowing of what they’re being used for. Dimitri collects his tools and art and begins to leave the cave. He walks past many workers, feeling hate and despite in all the men’s eyes as they look upon him, they hate him, just because he’s different then them.

So he walks, past the people, past the forge and it’s machinery, past the guards, and out of the cave. He turns after he leaves the cave, now facing a wall of greenery and vines from the trees. Moments pass and after no one is around him he lifts the vines, revealing a hidden trail that leads up the mountain. He follows the trail through the overgrowth of the plants, until finally he is at the top of the mountain, from which he could see all the way to the sea. Behind him stood a makeshift house, one that he built himself, this mountain was his hideaway, because all the other villagers were too scared to begin construction up here due to ancient rumors. Rumors about a monster, a murderer, who brutally killed all those who had climbed the mountain.

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The first general adaptation of my map—soon to be titled either locations and key.

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“In the world of Tekemona—a world distraught by misplaced dreams— seven unlikely people rise to challenge destiny and failure itself in the wars caused by a fracture in time.”

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Once again, I was awoken in that room, the dark figure looking ahead as the room faded to black.

“I sense it, you are feeling pain.”

“A pain you can’t fathom”

“Is this where you fall?”

“To a place in between worlds where one's own mind is nothing but a wasteland of oneself loathing?”

“They treat you like family, and you treat them like strangers”

“Why is that?”

“You say that they don’t know you?”

“It seems you’re the one that doesn’t know yourself.”

“Now, let the wings of those who tried and guide you to greater things rot as you meet your own fate”

“For your wings are fake, and have rotted away long ago”

“And for years you have clung to others path, hoping to restore your own”

“This is your fear.”

“Now, fall.”

Just as I reached for my mouth to try and speak I had fallen through the floor, out of the realm I was in seconds before, but I had not fallen into life, nor had I fallen into death, I was stuck between two planes, I saw the darkness above me and my lifeless corpse below.

The boat was rocking… The sky had turned completely black as did the water… The sound of thunder and screaming had penetrated my slumber as I had begun to fall back to the living, as I fell, I had saw all my memories to pass.

I was nobody because I did not allow myself to be seen as anybody.

But it was far too late for realizations, my fate has been sealed. The dark figure I had faced was Lucifer himself. I had my chance to change, to maybe tip the scales to a better life, but I had stayed in the dark, and now I will be buried in it.

I wake up, I look around, but I don’t see my crew. Not the young man Allison with his casual clothing nor Arthur with his sailor attire, not even Vera with the wondrous words she speaks.

I frantically search for my newfound family, behind every door, behind every barrel onboard the ship, I had even checked the around the deck and the sails to see if they were hiding, but it was true, this was my fate.

I hear a loud noise above the deck, beckoning to me, it was unrecognizable, yet it carried the voice of my friends, I had to find them.

I hurried, from the cabins to the middeck, from Port to starboard, the top deck and once again the brig, but there was nothing, and as I reached the front of the ship I had stopped.

Time had felt slow, the noises around me drowned out into blank. As I had turned to see my crew, I saw nothing, and just like that, a cold figure grabbed my arms and threw me over the deck.

I recognized these hands, it was Arthur, but it wasn’t, his once arrogant face was blank and expressionless, seeming only to be eyes in a fog too thick to see through. His body was starved and fleshless as his bony hands released me into the sea.

I was falling for what felt like forever, until the storms current had violently swept me under, and for the first time, I had felt true fear. I am about to lose everything because of my foolishness, the boat is hurrying past and in a last-ditch effort to regain my life I grabbed onto a ladder on the starboard side, but it is not only the current fighting me… Both Vera and Allison grabbed my legs and tried to pull me under the black water.

“I surrender, if I must die today I will.”

I let go of the ladder and sink into the ink black water.

I look back up at Arthur’s face atop the ship and think to myself.

“This is my, fate.”

“For I could not be like you all.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to see the light of day, and now I bathe in deaths embrace of an eternal dark.”

With that, my final breath, and now I die.

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“To some it may be loss, to others the unknown, and to many it is pain.”

“To you it may be different”

“To you it could be anything”

“Now tell me child, what do you fear? What is your downfall in life? What does it mean for you to have fallen from grace?”

Just then, I had woken up. The dreadful yet calming figure in front of me falling into the darkness of that realm as I had panicked and quickly stood up from my bed.

The dark essence fading into the gold and wood lining of the stone walls that surround me in my small room, shelves below windows holding bronze figures and drawings of my own.

Upon opening the curtains, the golden light of dawn peered upon my room, reflecting in wonderful patterns across the figures and glass models that were scattered across my room. I sit there, admiring the new day until my eyes fall upon the wall to the north, a calendar, listing what’s to come today, and just like that the light, the interest, and the hope falls out of my world, almost making it seem black and white.

As I turned back to my window the once golden lights were painted grey and the clouds a depressing white, as I turned my head to return to sleep, I noticed my shoes laying on the cold floor below me.

Whilst regretting what’s to happen later I had grabbed my shoes and slowly returned to my bed to put them on.

Now I am ready to pursue the days end. I get up and walk towards my window before hurriedly closing the curtains and opening the door.

As the door swings open the gray skies return, high above my town, a small port on the edge of the country, the dull colored sky merges with the light blue stained reflection that lines this side of my small town.

I walk forward, the soles of my shoes meeting the cold cobblestone of these empty streets, but the streets aren’t empty, they’re practically overrun, everywhere I look I am met by people, all exchanging greetings and joyous remarks of their plans, and then there’s me, in the center of everything, with nothing, and nobody, simply walking against the giant crowd.

It is not rare for me to act like this, especially when I’m in town. Even when I talk to people, I don’t understand them, they all say such positive things about me, but it all seems for naught, their words stand to be as hollow as a rotted tree.

Almost as soon as I had started walking, I had reached my destination, I stood upon the docks, overlooking the wondrous sea.

The ocean has always seemed so amazing to me, to look into an endless horizon with no people, no buildings, where creatures reign free as does the water they live in, the waves swaying back and forth across the globe.

I kneel down on the edge of the dock, running my hands through the cold embrace of the water below me, something that has always brought a warm feeling to my heart, to be here is to feel free, but this is different. The water around my hand becomes black and shrouded as I feel the ice-cold touch of a hand upon my left shoulder.

I lift my hand from the water and turn slowly, greeting the three people who stand behind me, it is none other than my crew for today. For today, June 7th we shall begin our voyage, whether to find fish or find a new world, these are the people I am forced to accompany, whether I like it or not.

We have just met, but the three of them seem well acquainted already. All chatting about things that have happened, as if old friends meeting after a long wait. Minutes pass, and nobody thinks to approach me, they could be judging me, mocking me, or even planning to replace me as their guide, but just when I think I should just turn back home the conversation switches to me, and I am asked to introduce myself.

“I’m not really good with introductions, what about all of you?” I say, my voice shaking, knowing I just lied.

The woman on the left went to speak first, “My name is Vera, and even though I came here with the rest of you, I am actually afraid of water” she says, covering her face slightly before continuing with, “Id also like to get to know you all”

Loud noises shake the dock as our ship pulls up to the front of the town and drops its brow to the deck, forming a ramp for those who wish to come aboard.

The man on the right, who was the one to grab me up out of my trance with his abrupt entrance had went to speak next. “Well, Vera, my name is Arthur, I was sent here by my father, while I have no interest in you people I shall work alongside you with no ill will.”

Just then, a young man came up from behind Arthur, completely shielding his face with his small hands.

“And this one’s name is Allison, while it is not a traditional male name it is the name my father had bestowed him, so I am to live with it.”

The parallels between their clothing showed that the father had clearly showed intense favor towards Arthur, his eldest son.

The ships bell was ringed and just like that, Arthur was on his way, he turned his head as he walked away and scoffed mockingly at his younger brother and made his way up to the ship, Allison running behind him after realizing he was now by himself with the rest of the crew.

“So, who are you?” Vera asks.

“I am nobody, and I have nothing, even though I yearn for everything.” I emptily reply.

“You don’t seem like it, you seem like a wonderful person, even if you can’t say it everything about who you are says it for you.” She turns away and begins to walk to the boat and join everyone else, the color of the world below her feet turning black and white as does the air around her.

She’s wrong, I truly am no one, I can’t trust her, or her words, she doesn’t know me and neither does anyone else.

I walk down the pier to join them, the water beginning to match the color of the sky, laughing to myself as my colorful and emotion abundant sea and world return to a disambiguation of black and white, where everything is destined to be numb and emotionless as me.

We leave the dock, we leave the city, and now our boat lays in the open sea, I stand in the back, watching as everyone else enjoys themselves, whether it’s Vera drawing in the corner, Allison watching the fish laying below the waves on the edge of the ship, or even Arthur, who just stands there looking out into the sky.

They’re all people, but I’m not anybody, I stand atop the rear of the boat, lost in my own mind, recalling the amount of times I’ve done this, and how highly my comrades had thought of me.

It is noon now, and we have reached our first stop, a school of small fish lying below our boat as we stop to catch them.

I walk down from the top of the boat, greeting everyone once again, their smiles and eyes tearing into my very being, they’re happy and I am not, they can trust each other whilst I can not.

We fish for what feels like an eternity, only being able to catch eleven fish before nightfall, putting them in the fish hold below the deck before we head to sleep.

Our boat had two cabins, both being able to hold two beds and the simple needs of each person inside them. The first cabin or rather cabin A had been given to Vera and Arthur, while cabin B had been given to Allison.

I myself had stood up above everyone else on the top deck, the stars above lighting the clouded night sky.

I was tired, so tired I had fell asleep sitting down.

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Though I cannot remember the exact prompt given to create this story I do remember it was an assignment i had in school, assigned so we could practice dialogue, scenery, and above all— figurative language. I started it around August of 2024, played with the words of it for about a week before it was due, and this final version has stuck with me.

The reason being, that this served as the guiding light as I found my place within descriptive and dark poetry. The first true representation of the beginning of my current writing style.

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Chapter Two, A Strong Heart and A Polished Dagger, Part Two

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Chapter Two, A Strong Heart and A Polished Dagger, Part Two

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The body falls off the roof, cold, and dead, the bullet hole leaking bright red blood from the forehead. The man on the building across from him stands there, the glint from the sights on his sniper overlooking the roads below.

“Mission Complete!” Exclaims the man to his comrade on the street behind him.

“Three eliminated, get rid of the bodies.” Yells the man on the street.

Two people dressed in full black suits run to the scene from the house below and quickly find and dispose of the bodies before the day begins.

The sun is rising, and as they walk away from the scene with bodies in their carriage, they wonder what today will entail. The group departs individually, one man returning to the alleyways to scout out other groups, a woman returning to the undergrounds to reap her rewards, and finally, the man, the sniper, did nothing but walk.

Street after street until finally he was in front of a small house on the corner of the road. A small stone house with simple metal work frames, a wooden door of birch with outlines of spruce, windows of glass reflecting the golden sun. He walked through the fence and down the trail leading to the door, it was wonderful, flowers and crops surrounded by memories of him and friends at play, but that was a long time ago. He had grown since then, he was now a man, around the age of 47, who wanted nothing but to live his life with his wife and daughter.

He opened the door a cheerful young girl greeted her adored father. “Now Now Alice, calm yourself, I’ve just gotten home.” Joked Dominic.

Just as Alice had finally let off he was greeted by his wife and the smell of a fresh meal. “Dominic you said you would be home last night, where were you?” asked Ember, Dominic’s wife.

“Late at work, there was an incident.” He lied.

Dominic, still lying to his family, telling them he had a job at a shop on the other side of town when in truth he had picked up a job as an assassin for the undergrounds. “You know how the shop is, I’m the only one there to help sometimes.”

Alice thinks her parents talking is boring so she runs over to the window to play with her toys and pass the time. Some time passes as Dominic and Ember chat about the day before and what their friends have been up to, but then Alice turns her head around and asks a question, “Mom, Dad? What is that light outside—“And before Alice can finish her sentence, an explosion is heard.

In the same moment the glass pane explodes in front of Dominic, and once again, time is slowed down. He reacts quickly as he runs to save his daughter. Faster— Faster— He pushes himself forward and jumps but he is slowed… he runs in his mind…. His mind races and spins, only coming back to the same thought as before, “Save her, Dominic, you must save her” but just then time unfreezes, and the room is full with a flash— The only sound heard being a thud against the wooden floor.

Dominic hadn’t seen what happened, but as the glass shattered a single bullet flew through the room, leaving a gashing hole from one side of Alice’s head to the other… right through her brain. Her body falling to the floor within the lake of shattered glass around her. Blood begins to travel it’s way from one side of the room to the other, crimson death glinting in the sun.

It all happened so fast, only Dominic had fully realized what had just happened, their daughter is dead. And before they know it, the glint from the sniper is pointed to Ember’s head. As once again Dominic’s world freezes, he shouts for her to move— to run— to get away, but his wife was terrified. Her face frozen as if she was shrieking in a void of silence, she couldn’t hear Dominic…. She was in pain, watching her treasure, her everything, die right in front of her. Dominic quickly runs and jumps to save her as the second bullet flies through the window….

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Chapter Two, A Strong Heart and A Polished Dagger, Part One

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Chapter Two, A Strong Heart and A Polished Dagger, Part One

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The waves crash off the rocky shore as new shells and sand are pushed up to the beach. The sky is blue and the sun is shining. There is a young woman enjoying the great day, playing in the sand, playing with shells and rocks they have acquired through their days on this island, but as they play, a presence appears behind them, it speaks, and the girl jumps.

“Vesper, why aren’t you training? And what is this childishness? Playing? Why won’t you just train?” The lady persists.

Vesper wants to yell at the lady with all of her strength, but she refuses to. She walks back to the town, past all the vibrant shops. Now feeling jealous of all the townsfolk’s children who get to be free, playing and making friends. Vesper walks, until she reaches a long building with thatch walls and wooden supports. Her father’s home, the dojo she is trained at.

She opens the door to find that the hall is empty, all the privileged students don’t have to train on days such as these, but that’s not the case for Vesper, training day in and day out she has already greatly surpassed her colleagues and teachers. Yet she is forced to train, hand to hand combat, swordsmanship, assassination. She’s learned it all far too many times. Vesper starts training herself, punch after punch, kick after kick, perfecting her fighting style and form as she fights a nonexistent opponent.

But whilst she trained, she began to feel hate towards the people who had forced her to, towards the people that had took away her childhood, towards the father that couldn’t even look his daughter in the face because she wasn’t the worlds best. That anger turned into hatred, and in turn that hatred flourished into resentment. She begins to punch harder and kick faster and by the time she’s done training she is sure of one thing, she is the strongest of the island, and she will escape from here.

The following night was a full moon, and as Vesper sat on the rocks of the beach, the moonlight reflected off the calm waves and into her blue eyes.

“So you’re really leaving then Vesper?” asks the kid behind her.

“Yes Koiya, I am, I’m sorry.”  Vesper whispers under a saddened breath.

Koiya’s face lights up in the reflection of the sea, she’s a young girl with long blonde hair and green eyes.

“Will you come back for me?” she asks.

“I promise I will, just be patient.” Vesper says as she lowers herself down the rocks… Into a raft she’s been building for years now, a makeshift kayak with a wooden hull and narrow wooden oars.  “I will make it there, to the island on the other side of the sea, and I’ll come back for you, that is our promise, our secret, and my fate.” Vesper says, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Vesper kicked off the rocks and set sail, she’d miss her home, but she knows if she goes she’ll be happy once again, so she rows the oars, back and forth, thousands of times, until she is out of the islands reef.

Hour after hour she nears the far away land she sees, but as she rows her hands start to ache, and her mind begins to tense, the ocean currents are pulling against the kayak and it takes every ounce of strength to push forward, against the raging sea. Before Vesper knows it, morning nears, and as she looks through the mountains and across the reflection of the blue sea, she sees the beautiful sun raging, golden blue water as it rises over the mountain tops. As Vesper looks up at the sky, up at the sun, the strain of her work caught up to her, she fell forward, into her kayak, and fell asleep. Hearing the tides pulling her kayak along.

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Prologue

A Fleeting Wish

Introductions

Chapter One-A Spark of Hope and A Sense of Guilt

Chapter Two-A Strong Heart and A Polished Dagger

Chapter Three-An Offer and A Magician

Chapter Four-Life is Death and Death is

Life

Book

Chapter Five-Tekemona

-Page numbers will be left unlisted as this is not a complete or finished book yet-

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Chapter One, A Spark of Hope and A Sense of Guilt, Part Two

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Chapter One, A Spark of Hope and A Sense of Guilt, Part Two

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A Sense of Guilt, Character: Unknown

Location:Unknown

The fog clears from the boy's trail, as the moon reflects off his pale silver eyes. He walks slowly, stumbling upon rocks and twigs as he descends the mountain, knowing that eventually he will see his village in the shrouded distance.

A voice behind him calls out his name, “Percy! Where are you?” It was his younger sister, Nirvana.

He calls back… Once, and then again, but his sister doesn’t respond. He quickly realizes and sprints back, up the freezing mountain and through the splintered tree line of the forest. He runs and he runs, knowing something is not right, “but what?” he thought to himself, “A bear? A wolf? A rogue camping up in these mountains? A soldier from the war grounds?” His mind spirals. He runs and he runs, looking, searching, for a single trace of his sister, but he has no leads, no where to go, he is alone…

Stranded upon this mountain alone, he wants to run, more than anything in world, but he knows he must find his sister. So, he keeps running, faster and faster, he checks everything, but to no end. The forest was massive, and it was dark out, Percy was freezing, but as he sat down to take a rest, he noticed Nirvana under a fallen tree. He approaches warily, not knowing what to expect, but just then, in that moment, his vision dulled, the sound in his ear faded, and he felt himself falling to the ground….

“What’s going on—” He thinks before his mind goes dark. Falling now, hugging his sister with his last breath, the snow and rocks in the hole began to surround him.

He takes his breath back and shouts for his sister as he quickly sits up…. But he isn’t there anymore. The snow is gone, and he is wrapped in sheets and blankets, the forest that surrounded him before is now wooden walls and pillars full of bronze decorations… and his sister isn’t anywhere to be found…. He looks around the room frantically, looking for his sister, and then his eyes set on the mirror. He sees not a child looking back at him but a young man with silver eyes and pale white hair. It’s in that moment that his mind begins to hurt again… “That was seven years ago Percy,” he thinks to himself, his head still hurting.

What happened between them and now he ponders. He reaches to stand up and falls onto the floor, memories flooding his mind. Memories he didn’t know existed… in the memory, he is there with his younger sister, running through the forest on the mountain, but as the fog clears back in Percy sees his body walking down the mountain trail, but he is still standing with Nirvana…. He tries to warn her, screaming again and again in an attempt to get her attention… Again and again, shouts and screams, but he realized it was all for naught. For the first time in forever he felt tears running down his face as he yelled out in silence, as if he was a ghost. He wanted to save his sister, more than anything, more than the world… but he couldn’t, he cried out, tears running down his face as he watched Nirvana walk in the other direction, into the fog, into the unknown.

Once again, he shouted, but as he opened his eyes he was back in his room. He stands up after stumbling to the ground once more. The image flashing through his eyes, blurring his vision, he walks to the door and reaches for the bronze handle, but now where the door once stranded is Nirvana’s killer, standing behind her, shrouded in mist…. Percy  approaches the figure to rid himself of his questions and find his sister’s killer, but as the fog fades from his eyes he sees a black robe with gold strips of cloth up both sides, arms tattooed in Trees and Thorns, with a garmented steel sword with a skull hilt in their hand…. He looked up at the figures face and was mortified, with a face full of fear.

For Percy, time had stopped— He recognizes the face that meets his eyes, it was his own father, and as he lifted his blade, the winter snow flooded through. Whether it was a blizzard or not Percy couldn’t tell, and in that moment, his father raised his sword and slashed at his unknowing sister.

Seeing his one and only sibling, his one and only friend, fall to the ground in front of him, bloodied and tattered, Percy shouted, he shrieked for his sister, he wanted her back more than anything, but she was laying in the snow, her body colder than the ice around him, he had lost his sister, and his world along with her.

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Chapter One, A Spark of Hope and A Sense of Guilt, Part One

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Chapter One, A Spark of Hope and A Sense of Guilt, Part One

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A man whispers, “Daniel! Daniel! Wake up!”

Daniel jumps out of bed as if he had just relived every second of his life. But to his surprise, no one stood near him.

“Where had the voice come from?” he wonders to himself.

He stands up, finally remembering where he is and what has happened. He stands in his room, a semi luxurious wooden room with a balcony overlooking his yard where he held his crops and his cattle, and further than that the gate to the city of Delvengale, a massive city with rich land and vast streets full of people from all over the continent of Flarenheim. Whilst he stands up on his balcony, he looks out into the sky and reminisces the life he’s had at his farm. While he still hasn’t spent much time here, Daniel is well known among the townsfolk, running errands and helping wherever he can. Although he still is a scholar at the academy, he still helps as much as he can in his free time. His strength and heart make him a great neighbor and an even greater friend. As Daniel stands up on his wooden balcony, something dwells in the back of his mind, as if something is missing…..

He frantically scrambles to get ready as he grabs his usual boots and starts running down the wooden stairs in a hurry, quickly pacing himself through room after room of luxurious wood and cobblestone full to the brim with children’s toys, portraits, and decorations of silver and gold.  He abruptly stops as he gets to the door, and kneels down to put his boots on before exiting the house.

The house seems smaller from the outside, a small cobblestone farmhouse with a wooden frame, he walks through his field and through the fence.

He exits the farm and speeds up once again, but this time approaching the gates to Delvengale.

He runs through fields and winding paths, slowly nearing the gate to the city, he runs and runs, his breathing unsteady as is his mind, he slows down as he finally stands in front of the gate, a large gold encrusted wooden gate standing far above his own head. As he catches his breath he lifts the handle to the gate and knocks, the gold handle clangs three times against the wooden gate before the guards come and lower the gate for the man.

As the grand doors of the gate opened, the sound of hundreds of voices rose and the raging sunlight ran through the doors. When the flare of the sun dimmed from Daniels hazel gold eyes he saw the streets, house after house, every one different then the next, shops selling creations from all over the world…. Pottery, machinery, art, and more. All in the city Daniel calls home.

He resumes his travel, avoiding crowds of people as he speeds up, and slowly making his way through the city. As he walks he is greeted by many, some say good day, some ask him how he is, and some ask him where he’s off too, but he hasn’t the time for the questions. He finally makes it to his destination, a brick trail through a winding field in the yard of another house, he treads through the field, avoiding the flowers and crops planted around the path, and makes it to a quickly built metal fence with slight traces of rust and vines. He opened it and once again begins to follow the brick trail until he is at the door of one of the buildings, but this house is much bigger than his own, from the cobblestone pillars holding up the second and third floor to the long spruce and gold crest lining the doorway. He stands there, wondering if anyone’s home before he finally gets himself to knock. Three times he knocks against the large door, and just as he knocks for the third time the door barges open…..

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I have enjoyed writing and reading since I was very young, since then I have practiced writing and evolved in practice to being able to write many poems of good quality. It is my dream to go past poetry though, even going as far to write my own novels and fantasy books.

I started this draft a long time ago, on March 11 of 2024 to be exact. Since then I have been attempting to refine my writing so I may revisit it. This is difficult however, when there is no audience to review or rate your work, so I made it its own section so people may enjoy my story easily from this page! Note: This was after a long while of it only being displayed in a 2 chapter draft on Wattpad.

As for what type of book it is I think of it as a Medieval-Modern Fantasy, with ninjas, samurai’s, and basic fighters being seen alongside modern weaponry and fantasy magics.

The book itself follows 7 characters, each from a completely separate life and city. All meeting when the world is close to end. In the introductory chapters two characters are followed per chapter—following Tekemona each chapter will follow characters in a main story rather than their own timelines.

So far their introductions and first part stories have been finished so I will be posting those shortly, as well as versions of the map I am making for the world.

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The sky shakes, the ground trembles, and the startled young boy frantically stands up from the ground to see what is happening. As he looks up at the moonlit sky, he sees a vivid reflection of his own world staring back. A single drop of water falls slowly into the ocean beside the boy, as if, for just a moment, time was slowed down, the drop falls for what feels like an eternity for the boy, but just then the water splashes and ripples, time is set back to normal, and the reflection disappears from his silver eyes, the world which was shaken moments before is still, the sky has returned to peace, and the stars are slowly starting to fade as morning nears.

Across this unknown world, seven extraordinary people with unforeseen abilities saw what happened that night, and it had changed their lives forever.

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Draft for shirt placement.

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Of hollow bones,

And shattered mind,

I fail to start or realize time,

Still stuck in moments inside of my life.

Of shattered mind,

And broken so true,

I lose myself.

To draw.

To sing.

To write.

Held no meaning anymore.

As my mind struck blind; bleeding on the floor.

And now late too I have felt regret.

Seen it true my scars were met.

Bleeding. Surely. Soon to die.

Air left for a final cry.

Air held close as I felt your warmth,

Against my soul and heart.

For which by to see at the start.

But now too late,

And running from time.

The crimson I see,

This blood of mine.

I stopped of slow breathing,

And finally died.

Never letting out that solemn cry.

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Let me not know of your name,

Or you will fall; next of the slain.

Slain by words and shattered glass,

A broken chord now struck at mass.

As writing shortly of all the dead,

A blood-filled melody within thy head.

To hunt through memories as blood pulls my feet,

Dragging me ever so far to the deep.

To hunt through hallows as I call my life,

Dragging me so far away through the dark this time.

So lost of my memory I wander alone,

Now silently waiting; my folks are all bone.

So tread silently traveler as you falter your ways,

Or become the next skull among many a-day.

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To write,

To draw,

It never works.

Attentive in madness it always hurts.

When lifting pen to a sheet and never writing,

Only scribbling wars one’s fighting,

For no one to listen and no one to hear,

It must if of means that the ends drawing near.

Of my own flourish; of my own cries,

To fall silent solemnly for once and all time.

So tell me soldier if not only a lie,

To keep me going from now for some time.

So tell me mother of what I can do,

To not die quickly as reality shows true.

That nothing matters and I’m only the same,

A tiny piece within worlds game.

So tell me my love why broken I cry,

Why I never rest and always try.

If no one answers,

And no one smiles,

Then why should I keep this guile,

If never meeting one of the same,

For never making happy until down at the gates,

If no one can love me then what can I say,

I’m broken. I’m tired. Of hatred I pray.

# data[].attributes.body
Take,

Consume,

Boil it down.

Take,

Consume,

And still wear a frown.

Take,

Consume,

And steal from the crown.

But what happens when there’s none left to steal,

When the stake in your heart is one final meal,

When pressure stops and you can’t longer take,

And burn at the altar, a fine saving grace.

# data[].attributes.body
When wonder what it is too fly,

If often not I seem to cry,

For all things stop—they fall and die,

And if not to question then so do I.

So fly like bird,

Up into sky,

And start to fall,

As so we cry.

And if our wings,

If only just,

Can try to save just one of us,

Then let that bird,

Fall from heaven,

And suffer not,

A lonely sentence.