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Ages: Birth to 18 Months

Babies are born into this world fragile, helpless, and completely dependent on us for care. From birth to 18 months, this is where they learn who they can and cannot trust. The trust they receive helps them learn love and hope. If they are in a relationship of mistrust, they second guess everyone and everything.

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When Myrissa was born, decisions were made that caused her to be raised by a single mother. With these decisions came the support of her siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. She was always provided with unconditional love and support. Myrissa learned to trust those around her.

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Ages: 18 Months to 3 Years

Children at this age are watching those around them and learning to become themselves. They start to detach from the adults around them and make their own independent choices. If their choices are scolded and harshly punished, they second guess themselves, their self-esteem lowers, and they become co-dependent on others.

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Myrissa had so many people around her to watch as she was growing up. The main people she watched was her two older sisters who thought she walked on water. They were very good about correcting her instead of yelling at her and making her feel bad about herself.

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Ages:  3 Years to 5 Years

Children at this age are playing with other kids their age, learning from each other, and are venturing and making their own choices. They either earn praise for their choices that help build their confidence or are criticized for their choices making them feel guilty and self-conscious.

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Myrissa was around kids in preschool, church, babysitters, friend's houses, and family's houses. She learned by watching other kids getting praise or getting in trouble. Myrissa found that getting into trouble was not fun and just liked to do her own thing. In the Yuzu Reader: Exploring Child & Adolescent Behavior, it states "Children also look to more people beyond the family for information about themselves as they enter a wider range of school and community settings." These are opportunities Myrissa definitely took advantage of and learned from others around her.

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Ages: 5 Years to 12 Years

At this age, kids are going to school, starting to feel the pressures of school and life. They are learning new things and being tested on what they have learned. Their friendships and classmates start to look for acceptance from each other. Based on reactions from their peers around them, they may feel accepted or inferior to those around them.

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When Myrissa was four years old, we moved to a small town in Idaho where she went to school on the border of an Indian Reservation, so she went to school with a lot of kids from the local tribe. She learned to be accepting of others because everyone was so different from each other. Not everyone was accepting of her because we were new to the area. There was one point where she was being bullied by another girl in school. The principal sat the two down together and helped them talk through the issues that was causing the girl to pick on Myrissa. It was a slight setback for Myrissa in class, but she was able to work through it by making friends and creating bonds in the classroom. "Warm, positive parenting lets children know that they are accepted as competent and worthwhile. And firm but appropriate expectations, backed up with explanations, help them evaluate their own behavior against reasonable standards."

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Ages: 12 Years to 18 Years

In this stage, the individual is growing and learning to become their own individual. This is done by what they have learned in school, family, friends, culture, and outside views. If children are forced into their beliefs, they become rebellious and lash out at those around them.

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Myrissa has been involved in so many different activities and achievements that she is confident in who she is and who she is around. She surrounds herself with people who have the same aspirations in life but does not put down or ignore those who do not. She is genuinely kind to all who are around her. "The practices of these informal groups lead to a “peer culture” that typically involves a specialized vocabulary, dress code, and place to “hang out.” These customs bind peers together, creating a sense of group identity. Within the group, children acquire many social skills—cooperation, leadership, follower-ship, and loyalty to collective goals."

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Ages: 18 to 40

In this two-decade phase, the individual builds their relationships with family and friends. These relationships are nurtured and built on common interests.

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Although Myrissa is only 16 at this time, she is talks about her future frequently. She would like to go to school to become an underwater welder. A future husband is there but is not currently dating as she is still only in high school. Myrissa would like to get married while training to do welding but would like to wait to have kids until she has a career set in place. Her ultimate goal is to be a stay-at-home mom but needs a back up for the future "just in cases."

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Ages: 40 Years to 65 Years

At this phase, the individual will look back and review their life and what they have accomplished. If they feel they have contributed to society, they feel accomplished. If they feel they have not worked hard and contributed, they will re-evaluate their lives and see what they need to do.

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As we all do, I am sure Myrissa will look back on her life and evaluate where she has been and what she has accomplished. She loves to be busy and travel so even if she hasn't been able to accomplish everything by this stage, she will continue to move forward and do things she likes to do.

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Ages: 65 Years and Older

People at this stage still continue to grow, learn, and expand as they look back on their lives again to see all they have accomplished. A lot of cultures look to their elders for wisdom and others do not. This is the phase that ends with death.

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Myrissa has seen death multiple times and understands what death means. She is not afraid of the hereafter as we talk about this often. There are definitely times we question things, but this is human nature. She would fall under the Integrity as she does not fear her future.