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Mental Battle of Physical Fitness and Obesity | Ogie Shaw

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Childhood Obesity: The Psychological and Physical Effects | IN Close

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21 million children and teenagers, roughly one-third of America's young people, are overweight or obese. While the physical effects of obesity are serious, including diabetes and cardiovascular disease, many doctors worry about the psychological effects on obese children even more. IN Close airs Thursdays at 7pm on KCTS 9.

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People may think that because people in the pacific are overweight/obese that they are lazy. However there are many other reasons for this

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Facing the world with obesity is not that easy, obesity can make your life difficult but the good thing is that obesity is preventable. Obesity can lead you into many social, physical and psychological problems.
Social problems and obesity:
Obese people find it difficult to face social gatherings because lots of people taunt and poke fun of obese people. Obesity becomes a social stigma and people take obese people useless and in reality obese people can not perform several tasks that other people can. In shopping malls they cannot carry heavy grocery bags, they cannot climb stairs and they feel tired very soon, as a result people try to avoid them and they do not involve them in their tasks. They often feel deprived and lonely. Often people judge people by their appearance and people make fun of their appearance. In cliques friends feel like obese people are a burden and they cannot enjoy their life due to their presence. They cannot use the usual toilet seat and seats in parks, cinemas and malls are designed for normal weight people, obese people cannot fit in these areas. Due to the social problems they become alone and they hide themselves in their cocoons. It needs lots of confidence to face the world with obesity.
Physical problems and obesity:
Obesity affects your health and quality of life. Obesity is the main reason behind many diseases like cardiovascular diseases, hypertension, diabetes and some types of cancer. Sometimes obesity causes joint problems because of excess weight people feel tired and they cannot do similar chores that normal weight people can. Respiratory problems can also result due to obesity. People find it difficult to breathe if they are obese. These are only some problems and there might be other problems that obese people can go through, for example, dental problems can result because obesity is actually the result of eating lots of sugary food.
Psychological problems and obesity:
Mental and emotional problems can also occur due to obesity. Obese people feel great many emotional problems like anxiety, fear and depression. Hypertension is very common in obese people. In one of the study it was studied that whether obesity effects mental satisfaction and it was found that most of the obese people suffered from hypertension too. Sleep problems can also result because people have fears and anxiety that cannot let them sleep normally. In our society thin person is thought to be most desirable and everyone wants to attain a size zero so if you are obese you won't be able to feel relaxed mentally.

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How obesity affects your life - Reading Craze

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Facing the world with obesity is not that easy, obesity can make your life difficult but the good thing is that obesity is preventable. Obesity can lead you into many social, physical and psychological problems. Social problems and obesity: Obese people find it difficult to face social gatherings because lots… How obesity affects your life ...

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A health study that has consistently tracked 1000 people born in Dunedin in 1972 and 1973 has found childhood obesity is linked with heart disease in middle age.

The Dunedin Study has followed all aspects of the health and development of the chosen group, and recent findings have appeared in the International Journal of Obesity.

One of the authors, Professor Michael Williams, says being overweight or obese as an infant is a known risk factor for developing cardiovascular disease, the number one cause of death worldwide.

Body mass index information was collected regularly from ages three to 38 among the Dunedin Study members.

Preventing children becoming overweight at such an early age has the goal of improving long term health, Prof Williams said.

"Our research indicates that children who were overweight or obese at age three, or were in overweight or obese trajectory groups from that age to 38, are at higher risk of developing cardiovascular disease," he said.

Poor physical fitness and high cholesterol were also good indicators of heart disease, he said.

The research in the Dunedin Study was supported by the New Zealand Health Research Council, the New Zealand Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment, the US National Institute on Aging, and the UK Medical Research Council.

According to a recent New Zealand health survey, one in nine children (11 percent) are obese and a further 21 percent are overweight, figures which Prof Williams said were a "time bomb" in terms of a future burden on New Zealand's health system.

NZN

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Childhood obesity a 'time bomb' waiting to go off

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A health study that has consistently tracked 1000 people born in Dunedin in 1972 and 1973 has found childhood obesity is linked with heart disease in middle age. The Dunedin Study has followed all aspects of the health and development of the chosen group, and recent findings have appeared in the International Journal of Obesity.

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obesity~ overweight~ obese~ self esteem~ bullying and teasing~ emotional issues and obesity~ overweight children~ obesity-related repercussions~ teased at school~ obesity and social life~ children~ parents~ pediatrics

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Not only are there health costs associated with childhood obesity, but your child's weight problem is also intimately entangled in his emotional world.

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OPINION: We have all read or heard the facts: New Zealand's' children are among the most overweight children in the world. A shocking statistic.

I wanted to look at the reasons behind this problem, the implications for our health system in future and how we can start to turn back the tide.

But first, I wanted to share my personal story and to look at the psychological impact that being overweight can have on a child.

As a youngster I was always a normal weight, healthy and athletic. But as I approached puberty things changed rapidly. I started to put on a little extra weight and, for me, this was devastating.

READ MORE:
* The cynical manipulation of a wee system set up for good
* Providing a healthy balance at kids' parties

I was a gymnast and any weight gain, natural or otherwise, was met with derision, pressure to constantly try to lose weight, and humiliation and bullying.

This had a huge impact on my self-esteem and confidence.

I was actually never statistically classed as overweight, but the pressure I experienced left large psychological scars that had far-reaching consequences for my later development and life path.

I hated my body and would hide behind layers of baggy clothes. I believed myself ugly and unattractive and this, once again, had implications for the way I interacted with other people and in developing healthy relationships.

I share this story because I want to explore the psychological trauma that being overweight often brings with it for the individual child.

This is a part of the discussion often forgotten in the statistical analysis of the obesity epidemic which is rightly more concerned with health implications and costs to the public health system.

Let's look briefly at the flip side of the coin, the child's developing self-image, identity, and confidence.

When a child is overweight they often experience bullying by their peers, are subject to humiliation and attacks and lack the confidence to participate in sports for fear of looking silly or not being chosen.

This, in turn, leads to being less active, which exacerbates the problem.

The lack of self-esteem, of confidence, can lead to young people feeling alone, isolated, misunderstood and to a host of compensating behaviours, as they try to deal with the emotional pain.

So how do we protect our children from the psychological and, indeed, the physiological implications of obesity?

Ben Warren, one of NZ's leading nutritionists and owner of Be Pure, says: "I believe our children are so overweight because of the amount of simple, processed carbohydrates they are eating, and the resulting insulin response which is telling their body to store the energy as fat.

"The future implications for these children are devastating! Their bodies are going to make more fat cells. These fat cells will stay with them for the rest of their life, setting them up for a future where they are always going to struggle with their weight, and as a result they are going to have to work much harder to maintain a healthy weight for the rest of their life."

When we consider the fact that it's not a child's' fault that they are overweight, a child doesn't have the ability to understand the implications of their choices, we then must also accept it is us who are responsible, collectively, for their future poor health.

Those charged with a child's wellbeing - parents, schools, health practitioners, community groups and the government - need to make the healthy choices for them.

We need to act decisively and quickly. A multi-pronged approach is required to attack this epidemic that, if left unchecked, will be the biggest health challenge of the 21st century, one that could literally bankrupt the public health system.

The food industry, whose sole aim is to make profits, has to be more regulated by the likes of taxes on sugary drinks and penalised for unhealthy ingredients.

In their article in the New Zealand Medical Journal, Steven Kelly and Boyd Swinburn state: "Many countries have now introduced taxes on unhealthy foods including Hungary, France, Mexico and some states in the US.

"Results from modelling studies suggest that tax on unhealthy foods is the single most cost-effective approach to tackling obesity."

Another option is to place restrictions on advertising, much like the tobacco industry faces.

The energy-dense, nutrient-poor, over-processed foods are the foods most readily available to us.

It's cheaper and easier by far to go to a fast food joint for lunch than it is to buy fruit and vegetables and make meals from scratch, as was the norm a mere 30 years ago.

In this day and age, when parents are extremely busy, the quick option is the easy one to take.

The past 30 years has seen obesity statistics among children triple. This must be reversed.

To do nothing is to head for disaster both as individuals and as a nation.

- Taranaki Daily News

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Childhood Obesity - Our biggest future health challenge

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OPINION: We have all read or heard the facts: New Zealand's' children are among the most overweight children in the world. A shocking statistic. I wanted to look at the reasons behind this problem, the implications for our health system in future and how we can start to turn back the tide.

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May not like the way they look and be insecure, less likely to participate in activities. May have less confidence.  May not feel attractive.

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The impact of obesity on psychological well-being. - PubMed - NCBI

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Best Pract Res Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2005 Sep;19(3):421-40. Review

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Overweight students were more likely to stay at home as they were ill, or to avoid weight related bullying. This can make it harder for them to keep up with school academically.

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May feel more tired and have less energy; they may be less likely to want to be active. Ends up being a vicious cycle.

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With the introduction of technology children increased in laziness because the world was available while still able to stay and sit at home.
With advertisements ideas of beauty have become unrealistic and to be perfect is no longer attainable because its photo shopped.

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So more at risk to develop NCDs like diabetes, heart disease, cancers, osteoarthritis. This is costly

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When my mom came home at age 22 and said she was pregnant, aside from the general disappointment parents feel when your unwed young daughter says she's knocked up, my grandmother was thrilled. I was the first baby in our immediate family in decades, and when I arrived, a mere six pounds and one ounce, my grandparents decided they would give me everything they could. By the age of eight, I had visited most of the world's continents, loved Broadway, and took dance classes and gymnastics. I also had unlimited access to food. I lived like a queen: I ate well, I had people at my beck and call, I always had a stroller to ride in or someone to carry me. If I threw a fit, I got a milkshake; if I threw another, I got one more.

I ate just about everything nutritionists would say no to-Big Macs, fries, McDonald's pizza (remember those?), hot dogs, milkshakes, Dunkaroos, Lunchables, Teddy Grahams, Mr. Noodles, Fruit Gushers, Spice Girls Chupa Chups, Bugles, Pillsbury Toaster Strudels-in large quantities, all day, every day. If I wasn't eating a delicious assortment of food items and sweets, I was overfeeding my Tamagotchi and Neopets to the point of food explosion.

I was a 90s fat kid, the biracial doppelgänger of Bruce Bogtrotter from Matilda. I used to skip to that part of the movie just to watch him eat that perfect chocolate cake. I dreamed of being in that position. Would I eat that cake even though a sweaty, mustached lady just told me it was made with blood, sweat, and tears? Hell yes. I spent my childhood searching for a similar cake until I stumbled upon one at a Just Desserts Café. My mom saw the savage come out as I devoured it. She never took me back again.

A 2015 study found that the epidemic of childhood obesity in the US and UK actually started in the 90s, with nearly a fifth of boys and a quarter of girls born after 1990 being obese before their tenth birthday. According to the study, individuals born in the 1990s are two to three times more likely to be obese than individuals born between the 1940s and 1980s.

The study suggested the changing lifestyle of the 90s to be one of the kickstarters of childhood obesity: more kids in front of computer and TV screens, more time on homework, and more aggressive marketing of junk food targeted at children.

The health consequences for overweight children are serious. Rebecca Hardy, a researcher involved in the study, told Vitality, "The more of their lives people spend overweight or obese, the greater risk of developing chronic health conditions such as coronary heart disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and arthritis."

Childhood obesity is now considered a health crisis in Canada. According to a 2013 report called " No Time to Wait" by the Ontario's Healthy Kid Panel, 30 percent of children and adolescents (one in three children) are overweight. It mostly affects boys and aboriginal children (the number of obese adults has doubled, tripled for children, and 62.5 percent of aboriginal children under 11 are obese). Obesity costs Canada between $4.6 and $7.1 billion [$3.4 and $5.3 billion USD] annually, and the Canadian Health Measures Survey says kids today are "fatter, rounder, weaker, and less flexible than their parents were a generation ago."

A few weeks ago, a new Senate report addressed new ways to end obesity in Canada. The report criticized Canada's Food Guide, declaring it needs a major overhaul because it's "dated" and "enabling." The report also urged federal action to curb obesity by suggesting a sugar tax on drinks and banning food and drink ads for kids. "We can't sugar-coat it any longer. There is an obesity crisis in Canada, and sugar is a big part of that problem. We must act," said Kelvin Ogilvie, the committee's chair.

In the 90s, we didn't have the same knowledge on obesity that we do now, let alone a Senate report warning about the dangers of sugar and junk. Life went on as usual with fat kids and their parents.

My mom and grandparents never consulted once with a doctor, and my doctor didn't make any comments-so it's hard to tell if I was just overweight or obese. I believe it was the latter. "It was more in relation to seeing other kids, or when we took pictures, that you looked a little bigger than the other kids," my grandpa told me. "We just didn't want you getting any bigger." I question how parents whose child is the size of a small sumo wrestler didn't notice a weight problem, but when I called up my family members to ask them, they were genuinely surprised.

My grandpa said I threw fits every time we passed by a McDonald's (which was relatively easy considering it wasn't far from where I lived). He said I wanted the toys the most, but when I got there, I'd end up eating.

By kindergarten (keep in mind that I was five), I was towering over my classmates, both in height and circumference. Most years, my mom would have my birthday party at my favorite place-McDonald's. If you see my pictures, you'd think someone invited Yogi Bear to a children's campfire. That, or the girl-child version of Biggie was in town.

By the time I was six years old, I was wearing pants with elastic and drawstring sweatpants. If I did fit into kids clothing, it was for older children. Add to the fact that my Pakistani mom and grandma didn't know how to style black hair, and I was a hot mess in an oversized T-shirt, hot pink leggings pulled up to my chest, and frizzy braids adorned with plastic butterfly clips.

But what I wanted was to look more like a girl-lady. My grandma would buy these DIY kits that came with fabric to make your kid a dress. She'd have to buy two packages to make me one dress, probably the equivalent of material needed to make a tablecloth.

When I was barely six and well beyond the average weight of 44 pounds, my grandparents enrolled me in all-girls soccer practice. I couldn't kick the ball for shit, and the team thought I was useless. At the end of our first practice, we had to line to up get our team jersey. My coach was a cute teenage guy, and I knew right then that this wouldn't end well as all the pint-sized little girls ran up and got their beautiful, small-sized, emerald green jerseys.

Fat but not stupid, I waited until the line was done to go up and get mine. I couldn't look the cute coach in the eye. But he eyed me, alright-just not the way I hoped.

"Um... let's try this one," he said nicely as he scrounged for the next size up. When he took it out, my grandma put it on me. It was like squeezing sausage into casing. To conclude, it took a painstaking 15 minutes to find me a jersey that fit, which ended up being for the older girls' team. While my teammates ran around, glistening in their silky, deep green jerseys, I hobbled around in an ugly, algae green one.

I asked my grandpa if it was then that they realized maybe I had a weight problem. He said it still never came up, although he made the point of commenting on my athletic abilities. "You couldn't run as fast as the other kids," he told me.

My mom also never thought I was obese, just a little hefty. "When me or your grandmother would go on Jenny Craig and we'd get the pre-cooked meals, you'd sneak into the freezer and eat the mac 'n' cheese," she told me. My mom worked late when I was a toddler, and I'd spend all day with my grandma, who obliged my every food desire. When my mom got home, I wanted to be carried, but she couldn't pick me up. "You were so fucking heavy," she said. "But you were fed with love."

This denial comes from the woman who knows I'd choose food over a man. The last time my mom dared to share food with me, I was six years old and wouldn't give her a bite of my blueberry pie. We got into a fight, and she didn't talk to me for days.

The whole "we loved you and didn't notice you were fat" came up a lot when I asked my family to share my fat stories. They don't have any, because they didn't think I was fat. They kept telling me how cute and happy I was (little did they know about my school yard life, keep reading), even though by eight I had reached colossal status. Keep in mind, I come from a family who doesn't sugar-coat anything. These people weren't trying to soften the blow-they genuinely didn't notice they had raised a blimp.

What's missing from the equation of childhood obesity is parental responsibility. In 2015, researchers at NYU Langone Medical studied two groups of children: a group of 3,839 kids from 1988-1994, and a group of 3,151 kids from 2007-2012. In the first group, 97 percent of parents of overweight boys and 88 percent of parents of overweight girls said their kids were the " right weight." The numbers were similar for the more recent group, and a study the year before had similar findings.

When I asked my aunt if she noticed how big I was, she was speechless. "We used to say that kids who are well-loved and hugged are healthy, so we assumed that you were like that because we were always hugging you. You were so happy."

Not really. School was the place I found out I was a bigger fatty than I thought. The only reason I wasn't picked last in gym class was because during dodgeball, I made a fabulous human shield to hide behind, and during volleyball, kids would scatter like loose coins when I served the ball. During red rover, they would unlink their hands long before I even made it to the other side.

When boys played that stupid game of rating their female classmates, I was at the end of the list. My friends tried to set me up with a kid at the school across the fence, but when he saw me, he recoiled. I became the weekly school yard event because some little shit would steal my lunch and run around the yard, and kids would laugh as I chased him for my food.

This is all funny, but what it really did was kill my confidence, even to this day. I was 16 the first time I spoke to a boy, and 19 by the time I was comfortable making eye contact with people. I'm still extremely shy when I go out in public, and I assume that everyone is laughing at me when they probably don't even realize I'm there. Sometimes I swear I waddle. I even monitor how I eat my lunch because I think I'm going to be ridiculed for holding my sandwich a certain way, and I avoid trying to squeeze through tight spaces even though I know I can. Weight is still a constant battle.

Some experts say that the research is too limited to link self-esteem and depression issues to childhood obesity, but several studies have found a correlation. A 2009 report by researchers at the University of Alberta used Statistics Canada data from the mid and late 90s and surveyed kids at the ages of ten and 11 on their self-esteem. They surveyed the same kids after two and four years, and they found that children who were obese had almost twice the chance of reporting low self-esteem four years later compared with children of a normal weight.

The epidemic had to start somewhere; unfortunately, it started with 90s kids (wasn't it bad enough we had soul patches and Fred Durst?). Now, we have endless food options for children (kale puree is a thing now?) and value the importance of a healthy diet and lifestyle for the little human. Even though our obesity rate is not as bad as the States, we at least acknowledged that we've all played a role in fattening up our kids.

People are appalled when I tell them that I won't allow my future kids to eat whatever they want, but these are usually the skinny people who would've salivated at the chance to tease me. Once a fat kid, always a fat kid, no matter if you've shed the weight, and I refuse to have my children spend their youth crying in their room or starving themselves or being used as a fucking human dodgeball shield because I let them treat their stomach like a garbage can.

When I asked my mom why she let me get so big, she seemed entirely convinced that I made myself fat. Deep down, we both know that isn't true, but I'll let her believe what she wants. I think she's still bitter about the blueberry pie.

Follow Eternity Martis on Twitter.

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When my mom came home at age 22 and said she was pregnant, aside from the general disappointment parents feel when your unwed young daughter says she's knocked up, my grandmother was thrilled. I was the first baby in our immediate family in decades, and when I arrived, a mere six pounds and one ounce, my grandparents decided they would give me everything they could.

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I want to preface this post about my experience with childhood obesity by first saying two things.

1) I consider myself extremely lucky to have never received any extreme bullying and harassment due to my weight that I know other's in similar situations to mine have experienced. I'm not writing this post so you feel sorry for me. Even though it did occur as I was growing up, I'm well aware it could have been much worse. I'm grateful for that little silver lining and my heart aches for those who had more difficult experiences with bullying because of what they look like or who they are.

2) This is an extremely personal post. I'm sharing my personal experiences and feelings about what it was like growing up being overweight. Because of that, this post will contain personal references to people and/or times in my life which affected me in some way, some good and some, well, not so good. If you are a friend or family member of mine, proceed with caution and please keep in mind how much I love you while reading this post. This is in no way meant to hurt you or make you feel like you did something wrong. You didn't. I'm thankful you.

I don't really write or talk about being a fat kid much. Being an overweight kid hurt me then and having been an overweight kid sometimes hurts me now. But it happened. Ever since I can remember, I was heavy. The majority of my life was spent being overweight.

And ever since I can remember, my weight was never a topic that was frequently discussed by my family. In fact, it was rarely mentioned directly to me. I know some people who make their children incredibly aware that they are overweight. Constantly talking to them about it, counting calories, hiding snacks, you know. Every family and situation is different.

I'm no expert but I think that can cause a whole different set of extremes in the body image and food issues department than the ones I developed by it being a topic that was generally avoided (to my face, anyway).

I'm not sure what would have been worse, having my body be overly analyzed by my family or them tip-toeing around it the way they did. I don't know what the first scenario would have been like but I do know that because it was a once in a while occasion it hurt, badly, when it was brought up. Especially when I was extremely young and still blissfully oblivious yet of the fact that there was "something wrong with me".

I don't have any pictures past the age of 5 or 6 of me at a healthy weight. I don't have any memories of my childhood where I wasn't overweight. It just was always the way I was. And at first, in the early years, I didn't know there was anything wrong with that. The first time I realized I was different (read: fat) was because of my grandma. I couldn't have been much older than 6 or 7. I remember her taking me downstairs to the basement and having me get on the scale. She tried to encourage me to lose weight by offering money as an incentive. I remember there being some predetermined amount of sit-ups I were to do to receive the monetary reward the next time I "weighed in". I'm sure you know how this ends, because I wouldn't be writing this post had it of worked.

I remember thinking that this was something my cousins probably didn't have to do. I knew that even though they were younger than me, I was being singled out because of my size. Although I can't recall any of the specific conversations about this, I remember how badly it made me feel. This was the very first time I ever felt ashamed of myself and like I needed to change. To be completely honest, I totally forgot about this happening until a few years ago. Whether I blocked it out or just had other experiences that were more influential, I'm not sure. So no, it probably wasn't traumatizing and it didn't scar me for life. I love my Nana more than anyone on this planet and I know she has had nothing but my best interests at heart. I don't blame my grandma for doing this.

I understand that she was only trying to do what was best for me, the only way she knew how at the time. Now, being an adult, I'm not sure I would even know what to do if I were in her position. But I do know her intention was never to do anything that would do harm to my little girl self-esteem.

From there, my experiences as the fat kid just continued to grow as my size did. In elementary school I would always race to be the first one on the bus after school or for field trips so that I didn't bump into anyone as I shimmied my way through the tiny school bus aisle. I was acutely aware of my size, even at this young age. I loved and looked forward to the days that I got a ride home from school by my Nana. It meant that I would get to skip the embarrassment of getting on the bus and the agonizing time on the bus I spent trying to shrink my body, hugging my backpack and squeezing my thighs together to avoid touching the person sitting next to me.

Even things like getting out of a school desk made me painfully aware of how big I was and extremely conscious about who was around to see it. I'd wait until most of the class had cleared out before un-stuffing myself from the one-piece desks. This habit followed me all through my school years.

In 4th, 5th and 6th grade, I had a group of girl friends. Pretty, skinny friends. They used to all share clothes and swap jeans. I would awkwardly stand around while this happened, feeling out of place and left out. I was only ever able to wear one pair of the "cool" jeans. I was 12 and in 6th grade. I only got to wear them that year because they were a size 12, the biggest size that "oh-so-cool" store sold. The next year, they wouldn't go up past my thighs. I started cutting the tags off of my clothes before sleepovers just incase they would see what sizes I wore.

Those friends, they didn't tell me directly I didn't belong, but I knew it. I would hear when they were hanging out without me. I would see the notes getting passed around during school to all of them but me. I knew the reason I didn't get invites to do things with them was because of my weight. I was different than them. When I did hang out with them outside of school, I often got the feeling that they were embarrassed to be seen with me. Children pick up on these social cues a lot more than we think they do. Unfortunately for me, the social cues I received caused my self-esteem to plummet.

There were a few of them that would talk to me less when we were around other people or walk in front of me as if they weren't with me. It was so hurtful to me back then. So much so that I remember the exact details and exact places these things took place. The store we were in front of in the mall. The movie we were going to see. The names of the girls who made me feel like I was so much less than they were.

During this time period, one of the aforementioned girls had a birthday party. All of the girls were making their way over to the table where the birthday girl's mom had put out cake and ice cream she dished up. But when I got up to the table, her mom reached across and blocked my outstretched hand, just as I was about to grab a pre-plated bowl. She told me, "this isn't meant for kids like you ". I'm not sure which of my classmates heard her, but it didn't even matter. The damage was done.

This was the first time I realized that sometimes adults were some of the worst bullies of them all, but it wasn't the last.

The feeling of being judged by others and treated differently because of your appearance doesn't just go away as you get older either. Especially when it begins at an age where you're just not emotionally equipped to deal with it.

One thing that develops when you're a fat kid is your ability to overlook how crappy people treat you. You want people to like you. You don't want to draw attention to yourself or cause a problem. You figure that your weight is already problem enough so adding any extra reasons for a "friend" to not like you seems like a terrible idea. And, well, you're 8 years old. Or 9. Or 12. Having friends is better than not having friends in your 10 year old mind. So you settle.

And so begins the feelings of "well this is what I deserve" and "I can't do any better" that will follow you through your fat kid life and into your adult life, leading you to stay in crappy relationships, crappy jobs, crappy situations, make crappy choices and probably eat more crappy food. Unless you break the cycle. But that's another post ;).

Before every Christmas I would pray that I wouldn't get clothes as presents. Anything but clothes. Christmas presents were a huge source of anxiety for me when I was little. I would receive clothes and would immediately know they didn't fit me but I was too embarrassed to say so. I felt ashamed that my family had to spend time considering how big I was as they picked out the clothing, but I was actually even bigger than they thought. I always loved the stuff they picked out which just reminded me all the more of the things I wasn't able to do, or in this case, wear, that everyone else my age could. I felt trapped being the person my body decided I was because of childhood obesity instead of the person I wanted to be. It seems like a stretch, to get all of those feelings from Christmas presents of all things, but as a young girl in the school setting I was in, what you wear mattered. And to not only not be able to fit in with the other kids or express myself through my clothing, well, those feelings didn't seem like a stretch to me at that time.

One time, when I was about 12, I was on the phone with my cousin. In the background I heard the doorbell ring. When my cousin answered it and said they were on the phone with their cousin, I heard a boy in the background say, "that super fat one?" I was mortified. I felt betrayed and vulnerable as I realized even my own family shared the rest of the world's opinion of me. Who would defend me, be on my side, or love me if someone who was supposed to HAVE to, wouldn't?

In middle school I would fake sick and then in high school I just plain ol' skipped class on the days when we were suppose to do the fitness testing. How this hell-on-earth is still even happening in schools I'm not sure. Being subjected to running the mile, seeing how many sit-ups and push-ups I can do three minutes or running back and forth in the gym until you physically can't anymore to do what was called the "pacer", all while your classmates watch, was just about the last thing I needed from my educational experience.

When you're the fat kid, things that seem like not a big deal to your normal sized peers can easily become a massive source of embarrassment for you. Gym class was one of them for me. I had plenty of experiences with kids coming up with your run-of-the-mill fat jokes and insults that may have lacked originality but still affected me.

It wasn't just my classmates that singled me out either. In high school on the first day of gym class, the P.E. teacher was giving us a tour of the locker room and assigning lockers. He took all of the boys into their locker room and then took all of the girls into theirs. In front of all of the girls in my class, he looked at me, pointed towards the shower room and said, "There's bathroom stalls in there with doors so you'll be more comfortable changing into your gym clothes."

Even if he was trying to do me a favor, implying that my body should be hidden... That my body isn't one that should be exposed... That my body is *too* different than the other girls my age to be worthy of changing in the same room made me feel extremely ashamed of it.

I remember that feeling he gave me that day like it was yesterday. And for years afterwards, I never changed in front of another person, boy or girl, again.

I played on a non-competitive soccer league for years growing up. I did it because I enjoyed it, not because I was the best at it. But even so, as I got into middle school and then high school, I would purposely drag my feet leaving the house before practice as my mom continually told me I'd be late. I delayed only enough to be a few minutes late so I could avoid the first 10 minutes of running drills.

It wasn't because I didn't want to run. It was because I didn't want my friends and the parents who were still lingering around to see me running. Especially if those parents were ones I'd previously overheard making indirect comments about my weight to other parents or their children by suggesting I play certain positions or, like one parent did, not even play at all. At the time I wished more than anything that they would have waited until I was out of earshot to say those things.

Even if I had to still complete the drills by myself and re-join practice after, to me, it was a better option than lagging yards behind all of my friends and feeling horrible about myself for just playing a sport I loved to play. Speaking of athletics, I won my first trophy at the ripe old age of 9 months from beating out all the other tiny tots in the diaper derby at the county fair. I crawled faster than all the other babies because my uncle was at the finish line holding out an ice cream cone for me.

That story is cute, right? Oddly enough, every time I heard it being told growing up, it embarrassed me. I could only imagine that the person hearing this story was glancing over at me while it was told and thinking about how fat I am and how even as a baby I couldn't control myself.

As I grew up, I started getting tougher and adopting defense mechanisms to help me cope, not only with how others treated me but about how I felt about myself. I learned really quickly not to be too sensitive to comments made about me. By the time high school was in full swing, I had taken on the 'I'm so tough, I don't care if anyone doesn't like me' attitude. I developed a finely tuned sense of humor and became well versed in sarcasm.

Us fat kids figure out early on not to rely on getting anywhere by being pretty. We learn to compensate with being funny. With being smart, with being good at being a friend. With being friendly or even, sometimes, with being mean. I took on a version of all of these at some point in time in high school. Putting yourself or someone else down first seems like a good way to prevent others from having the chance to do it to you. Or, if I wasn't being a teenage asshole, I was compensating for my weight by being a person you wanted to be around regardless of my appearance. It mostly worked, too. I had a good core group of friends who are still my friends today. I did fun things and had plenty of normal experiences like any other kid did. I was, for the most part, well liked and never without something to do or people to hang out with on any given weekend. I was popular enough, went to parties, did things I wasn't supposed to - normal teenager experiences. I lucked out with the friends I made growing up.

They didn't do much in the way of making me feel out of place with them, it was my own insecurities that did. I was always the fat friend, the biggest one in the group. I avoided doing things with them like going to the beach in the summer. I sat quietly while they discussed boys. I pretended to browse when we went shopping because I didn't fit into anything at the same stores they did. I skipped every single school dance, including prom. I sat out of these things, I wasn't forced to because I was mistreated to that extent.

I just knew I'd rather avoid any situations where my weight would be a source of embarrassment than willingly walk into them. That mentality became part of my "inner fat kid" mentality that's proved to be hard to shake even now that I've lost the weight. I sat on the sideline of my life growing up because of that insecure little girl who made a home inside of my heart and rattles around in my mind, telling me I don't belong here, or there, because of my size.

As I got bigger, in my later teenage years, I became withdrawn from family. I felt anxious, uncomfortable and not myself around people I maybe only saw once or twice a year. I knew I was getting bigger and that my weight was out of control. I knew they surely thought the same thing too when they saw me. It made it difficult for me to talk to anyone even though I love, and always have loved, being around my extended family. They're some of my favorite people and I know some day I'll wish I had back the years I skipped going to holidays and the time I wasn't fully present when I did go. I just didn't feel good enough about myself to think that others would enjoy being around me. It wasn't all bad though. Aside from my weight, I had a pretty typical childhood. I was loved, taken care of and supported. Even with the emotions and issues that have developed on my end towards my mom for my being an obese child, I can still appreciate the life she gave me. My mom ensured I never wanted for anything, that I got to travel and she gave me a lot of the qualities about myself that I take pride in today. I had family I was close with, lifelong childhood friends and some of those friend's parents became like parents of my own.

I'm a lot less angry and resentful now compared to where I was when I first realized what a significant amount of work I had to do when I took responsibility and started getting healthy. I try not to blame my mom for the things that led me to being a 300 pound 22 year old. Part of losing 120 pounds meant a lot of mental work on my end. For me, that equaled coming to terms with what happened and working on a way that I can move forward in a healthy way for myself. Now, when I start to feel angry and hurt that this had to be the thing I struggled with through my childhood years, I try to have some grace and think about how having an overweight child probably wasn't a walk in the park for her either.

While being the fat kid isn't something I would wish on any other child and while I don't particularly enjoy the fact that I dealt with some of the things I did, I'm also not sure I'd take it back now if I could. Being the fat kid gave me life lessons I wouldn't have had otherwise. I am who I am because of it and because I had to overcome it.

It taught me to be observant and perceptive, of not only other people's feelings but of my own. I know what it's like to be treated unfairly and I'm now accepting and kind to all people, regardless of who they are or what they look like. I taught myself to understand nutrition and health and why it's important, things I might not have "had" to do, had I grown up without a weight problem. I'm conscious of how my words impact people, after being the target of cruel words said by others. I can find humor in just about every situation and I rarely take anything personally. The little things don't bug me and I have a deeper appreciation for the people I love and who love me. Most importantly, I grew up into a more compassionate, less judgemental adult. All of these experiences helped to form the person that I've learned to love today.

I don't know who to point the fingers at and who to blame for the increase in childhood obesity rates. I'm not going to end this post running and screaming after the government, parents, cable TV, or GMOs with my pitchfork and burning torch. I don't have all the answers on how to fix our society's problems with childhood obesity. I don't know what the right way to handle it to cause the least amount of damage is if you have a child struggling with this either.

What I do know, however, is that as adults, we can all be more kind, more understanding to the kids in our life. We can teach our children to be more kind, more understanding to the kids in their life who look different than them. And, for the sake of all of the 10 year old Baileys in the world who just need to be hugged and told it's going to be okay... Well, we can do exactly that.

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My Experience With Childhood Obesity: What It Was Like To Be the Fat Kid - paleobailey

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I want to preface this post about my experience with childhood obesity by first saying two things. 1) I consider myself extremely lucky to have never received any extreme bullying and harassment due to my weight that I know other's in similar situations to mine have experienced.

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Global obesity has nearly doubled since 1980 and the Western Pacific Region is now home to 6.2 million overweight under-fives. In some areas of the Region, adolescent obesity rates are over 60%. Children who are overweight or obese are at a higher risk of developing serious health problems, including type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma and other respiratory problems, sleep disorders and liver disease.